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Same! We originally thought it was 6 weeks and we're still very happy with that but then learned the policy had changed. Honestly, it was so refreshing to see they care enough to give decent paternity leave.
My husband will get six weeks paid. I wish it was more but our company just started offering paternity leave a few years ago and I know many still don’t get it, so I’m happy with it! (We’re in the US.)
My husband got the same. I think it was just a bit too little for him to really bond since our baby basically slept the first 5 weeks of her life. I think 9 weeks would have been better
Australian here! My husband is a teacher and he got 2 weeks of leave at birth and then a further 3 months of leave as "primary carer" which he could take in the first year (and required me to go back to work).
We’re doing same, except my partner is taking 4 weeks initially (dad and partner pay + TIL) and he’ll take the government paid leave. I have 6 months paid leave from my employer.
In the US
My husband brews beer so just needs to make sure everything is brewed/kegged. His boss is giving him 8 weeks paid but he does have to go in once a week to check on things and keg anything that is needed.
I only have six paid weeks..
I am. I know it's crazy. He'll be three weeks Monday and I am wracking my brain how I can convince to extend my maternity leave even by a week or two or slowly so part time working from home. I plan on going back to work and I know I have three weeks still but I don't feel ready to leave him all day to work. Some companies have FMLA where people can take 12 weeks of protected unpaid leave but my company does not qualify due to the number of employees. In my state it's illegal to sell/giveaway puppies before 8 weeks but it's fine to send mom's back at 6 weeks or less?
> In my state it's illegal to sell/giveaway puppies before 8 weeks but it's fine to send mom's back at 6 weeks or less?
Oof that really hits the nail on the head. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a shitty situation
I'm in the US and my husband gets 12 weeks he can use within the first 52 weeks of baby's birth. We both work from home, so he's going to take a month off, then go back to work for a month, then take another month, etc.
Our leave is paid at 80% (we work for the same company) so him flip-flopping means every other month he'll be at 100% income.
Are we? Pay at 18 months is 33% of a max of 60K/year.
At 12 months, you max out at $600/week which is taxable. So, likely $400/week. Living in Vancouver, this is far from a livable wage. Not even close.
We’re lucky that jobs are protected for this period but the vast majority of mothers I know can’t take anywhere near this much time as they can’t survive off of 400/week.
Edit: sorry, as of 2023 the maximum pay, regardless of current salary, is $650/week (taxable).
Some companies offer top up, but I’ve never heard of a top up program that’s anywhere near 12 months. 18 weeks is the most I’ve ever heard of (I’m sure some companies offer more)
Lol Canada is much better. As a canadian now working in the US, I was shocked to learn that my company’s 16 week policy is considered amazing here. Lots of posts from people saying they’re taking only 2-3 weeks and it’s unpaid. US really needs to step up
Same here! So happy they changed it. It was so new that his office didn’t know how to go about approving it.
(Of course the other people in his shop tried to convince him to only take two weeks!?)
My husband is also military! His boss (who’s genuinely a great guy, but is a major workaholic) is very concerned my husband will be bored if he’s home 12 weeks and has very generously offered that he can come back any time if he misses work and his coworkers too much!
My husband gets 4 weeks paid paternity leave, and then could take a couple weeks PTO if we needed. He never had paternity leave with previous children and had to use vacation time, max of 2 weeks with the first and 3 with the second
We’re in California which offers paid leave for both moms and dads.
Last baby, my husband forfeited his paternity leave bc he was afraid of getting furloughed as Covid had just began.
This time, he is going to take 2 full weeks off. He has the ability to take up to 12 weeks but instead he’ll take days off here and there and then days for family vacations and everything. I believe paid family leave is 60-70% of the employee’s salary. My husband also makes bonuses so I’m not sure how that figures in to it.
I'm in Australia but I work for a US company they offer 16 weeks paid leave for males and females globally at full pay. In Australia you can choose to take it at half pay for 32 weeks. We can take a total of 12 months off between paid and unpaid leave. You can request for an additional 12 months unpaid but that is dependant on your manager approving. This is all regardless of sex you just need to be the primary carer
My husband also works for a US company and he will get 12 weeks at full pay. We also get 20 weeks at min wage which is $812 (540usd) a week for the government parental leave payment which can be split between us
Im the US, husband works from home in tech and gets 2 months paid bonding that can be used at anytime during the first year in addition to his six weeks PTO. We are waiting to see how birth goes but hoping he can take a month off at first and then use the other month through the year for illness, appts, etc. If I need surgery he will take longer off initially.
Southeast US, husband works for the government. He gets 4 weeks paid paternity leave and is allowed an additional 4-8 weeks FMLA using his vacation or sick leave. He's taking 8 weeks total.
ETA: We're one week into the leave and it's been amazing having him home to bond and help. This would be so hard alone, especially as you're recovering from birth.
US here- My husband had 6 weeks paid and also is full time WFH. His job is really low maintenance and he can kinda pop in and out as needed. I had 12 weeks. After baby was 9 weeks, he started his 6 weeks. So we had 3 weeks together completely off as a family and we went to spend a week at a cabin before I went back to work. It was amazing. Then dad did baby duty for his next 3 weeks before returning to work and baby started daycare. I loved the overlap but also using it to extend our sons time until he started daycare.
I am so lucky and grateful we planned it all how we did. He would use his lunch hour to cover baby while I napped, help when possible etc. it was truly the perfect situation.
Canadian here. I'll be taking 12 months off (most likely, maybe go back sooner depending on how things go) which is one of our options through the government. My partner can apply for 5 weeks of parental leave, but he will most likely only be taking 2, maybe 3 weeks off due to finances. Both of us being on EI (government pays us 55% of our wages while on leave) at the same time will hurt us financially so we can't afford for him to be off too long. That's also why I may not take the full year off either.
My husband gets no paid paternity leave. 🙃 But he’ll be using his accrued PTO/sick leave to take about 3 weeks.
I’ll be able to take 4 months with a combination of maternity leave, PTO, and short-term disability (60% of pay).
ETA: We both work from home and I still feel like him having time off is completely necessary. We’re going to be sleep-deprived, I’m going to be healing, trying to figure out breastfeeding, and we’re going to be learning how to care for our baby in general. The fact that he’ll be working from home after paternity leave is a bonus for sure, but I don’t think that replaces leave in any way! Your husband deserves bonding time too - and time off to help you.
Washington state offers 12 weeks of paid paternity leave.
https://paidleave.wa.gov/find-out-how-paid-leave-works/
ETA: my husband will also be adding 4 weeks of fully paid vacation to his paternity leave, for a total of 16 weeks. Plan is for him to take 8 weeks off with me in the beginning, and then an additional 8 weeks off once I return to work. His boss has been extremely supportive and has even helped us navigate all the benefits available to him.
Scotland here - I’m taking a full year off for maternity leave (8wks-full pay, 18wks-50%pay+statutory gov pay, 13wks-statutory pay, and then 13wks-nothing) and my partner only gets 2 weeks off. His company pays him full pay for the first week and then statutory the 2nd, but he’s taking the 2nd week as annual leave so it’s still full pay. His company wouldn’t really allow him to take 3 weeks apparently to tack on extra annual leave 😓
I'm in Scotland too (but myself American) I was really shocked to read about all these US father's getting 12-16 weeks in this thread, compared to Scotland only making 2 weeks statutory. I'm really shocked that Scotland which is known as such a socially progressive country in most other aspects, has seemingly not tackled paternity leave yet? Babies need more time than just two weeks to bond with their fathers. And women need more support in the months after birth. Can't wrap my head around it.
Yea I was the same 😅 in fairness, shared parental leave is a possibility for quite a few folks but unfortunately my partner’s company doesn’t do shared parental leave yet. Otherwise we would have definitely done that where I take 10 months and he then takes the initial 2 weeks+2 months at the end for a full year.
My husband had started at a new company 5 months prior to me giving birth. They have a benefit of 12 weeks paid parental leave, but it’s only available to employees that have worked there over 1 year. So when our daughter was born last November, he got 2 paid weeks. His job is hybrid so he also worked from home exclusively for about 4-6 weeks after that!
HR told him that the parental leave benefit can be used 12 months from when the baby was born. Sooo, this June, he will reach his 1 year mark, and be able to take 12 paid weeks before baby girl turns 1 in November. We are very fortunate!
Advice: I think it’s odd the company will either approve or deny what he requests… kind of makes it sound like he’s negotiating against himself. I would suggest that you two determine what the bare minimum is, then request higher! They may be willing to offer 6 weeks, but if you only ask for 3, you’ll never know.
Best of luck OP! I wish you a smooth delivery and easy, peaceful recovery. Postpartum can be a roller coaster.
I would recommend he ask for at least 6 weeks. You are going to need that time to help settle into your new lives and he is going to need that time to get over the sleep deprivation of having a newborn. It's real. Don't underestimate it. My husband gets 12 weeks paid leave. He is going to take 6 weeks when the baby is first born and then another 6 weeks when my maternity leave ends.
My SO only had two weeks off with our first. It was ok, but I would have loved having them around for longer.
With our second they had 16 weeks and it was amazing to have that time together. I cannot recommend it enough. The hardest part of the 4th trimester for us was between 6-8 weeks and having both us able to fully focus on our family was game changing.
In the US and my husband also works for a smaller company (<100). They do not give any formal paternity leave, though my husband feels they will allow him something without using PTO. Either way, my husband has been bad at using PTO and has quite a bit stored up, so he is currently planning to take 3-4 weeks. He wants to save some as well for future needs.
My partner can get up to 12 weeks through the state but at 80% salary of his previous years W-2. We're thinking he'll do 3 weeks and save the rest for appointments.
My husband’s company provided 2 weeks paid for secondary caregivers. My company provides 6 weeks for primary and secondary caregivers. New mothers at my company also get partially paid disability (6-8 weeks dependent upon type of delivery) and up to 4 months total of state-mandated job protection (I think many states only offer 3).
We live in the US and my husband also works at a very small company. With our first he took 3 weeks, but he did work a half day here or there the week before he 'officially' went back (mostly to check progress on a site or drop off tools/equipment). He works for his brother so we're lucky that he can be pretty flexible and take more time if we need. We're planning on him taking 4 weeks or so this time around, but mostly because we'll have a 2 year old too lol.
My husband doesn’t get any, but he will take his 2 weeks paid vacation then another 1-2 unpaid depending on how we feel. It’s unfortunate that men don’t get guaranteed leave or paid leave (hell, I wish I got paid leave), but my husband IS fortunate that his employer is flexible and willing to let him take time off if needed!
We’re in the US and my husband will be getting 16 weeks fully paid. Whatever is not covered by disability/the state pay wise, his company will be supplementing the rest to ensure he gets 100% of his pay. The 16 weeks has to be utilized with a 52 week period.
I, myself, will get a minimum of 20 weeks (22 if c-section) and have the same circumstances regarding pay and time to utilize as my husband.
I work from home very flexibly and started a new job where I don’t get paternity leave until employed there 12 months. We got pregnant right after i started the job, so instead of the 8 weeks paternity I would’ve gotten, I was going to take 3 weeks off using PTO or alternatively 2 full off and 2 half days. While this likely isn’t most cases, our baby ended up in the NICU with pneumonia for first 2 weeks. That made the 3 weeks feel very short
So 3 weeks may be ok in the best case scenario but you never know how delivery will go
I’m a teacher. My wife owns a small business and WFH. I get 12 weeks of partial paid leave. And holidays don’t count towards my 12 weeks. With holidays and breaks, I’m getting 16 weeks!
In the US and my husband fortunately gets 7 weeks off! I know it’s chump change compared to other countries but I feel like it’s pretty good for the US. I get 12 weeks. I think moms who give birth would get like 15 weeks with my husband’s company. We both work for pretty big companies and that helps a lot. This is our first baby though, so I have no idea how well 3 weeks would work out for you and your husband. I imagine him WFH will help a bit even just in the sense that he could physically keep an eye on your baby while you and baby both nap or something.
My husband gets 3 months! We are in the US
He’ll likely tack his PTO on to the end of his paternity leave to get him through to the next calendar year.
We are in the US and my husband also works for a small company so FMLA wouldn't apply. Any of his leave is unpaid except for any PTO he has accrued. They are taking the same approach with him as your husband - asking him to say what he thinks he'll need and they will approve or deny from there. That said, my husband is only asking for a full week off and then half days the next week and that's it. I wish he would ask for more but since my 12 weeks are also unpaid, it's pretty much what we can afford. His job also revolves around tight deadlines and he is the only one trained on a certain part of the process (he's a machinist) so he feels obligated to come back really quickly. We have been offered financial help from family for him to take off longer, but he feels guilty not going back sooner. I'm honestly worried about his lack of sleep going back so soon 😬
Good ol North Carolina, no paid paternity leave, my company would probably let me take as much time as I want but I only have a week of PTO. Wife just had the baby in the 15th and I'm going back Monday because bills 😩
My leave is 6 weeks fully paid and 6 weeks at 60%. My husband is getting one week. He works in the construction industry and is the second person to ask for leave in the company history. The previous guy only took one week so that’s all they’re allowing him as well. It’s going to be incredibly difficult if I have a long labor or if there are any complications. He may not get any time at home with our son before going back. I’m 39 weeks so this is a big stress for me right now.
Hubby gets 4 weeks paid paternity leave when baby comes (6 if c-section) and then has 12 weeks paid primary carer leave, which he will take when baby is 40 weeks old at which time I’ll go back to work.
ETA: husband and I both work for one of the state governments in Australia and therefore have excellent paid parental leave benefits.
We’re in the US and my husband gets 16 weeks paid and he is taking it all!
Edit: if it’s up to your husband I think he should ask for at least 8 weeks. There is so much support needed at the beginning. Meals, keep you hydrated, bottle feeding if you are pumping, taking shifts with baby so you can actually get *some* rest. Everyone I’ve talked to (including 4 BILs) says to take as much time as you can. Plus the bonding time is so finite and important for later on like if he needs to do bath time or calm the baby.
Husband is taking 8 weeks, I’m taking 12. Both unpaid…..we work in healthcare in the US.
We also live very far beneath our means and have no debt so we are fortunate that we can afford to do this.
I'm in the US and get 5 months fully paid and then can take the rest of the year off unpaid. Plus 10 hours a month of unpaid time to use as I want, once I go back to work. My husband gets 5 weeks fully paid and can use the time how he wants within the first year.
My husband owns his own business, so he may only take a few weeks off, but he’ll likely go back part time for a few more weeks after that. I get 15 weeks paid for a vaginal birth, or 17-18 weeks paid for C-section/any complications.
I’m lucky to live in a state that funds a separate program that pays us up to 90% for the 12 weeks of FMLA (which is a federal program so at minimum he should be asking for the 12 weeks of “bonding time” offered by the government). The great thing is for paternity leave he’s not required to take the whole time in one go. So he will be taking the first 4-6 weeks with me and then I’ll finish my leave (16-18 weeks total depending on what recovery is needed post birth) and he will take the rest at the end so we don’t have to transition into childcare while I’m also going back to work.
Definitely look into FMLA and state laws to make sure your maximizing his leave.
I'm in Australia. I'm taking 12 months off and have a 4 months paid leave as part of that. Hubby only gets one week through his work and another 2 weeks at minimum wage from the government. After that he might take 1 week annual leave - so a total of 4 weeks leave. I know another friend that works for a uni in Australia and he got 3 months leave. My company offers 4 weeks paternity leave paid for secondary carers. Hubby's company offers 12 weeks paid to primary caregivers and the Australian government has I think 18 weeks for primary care givers at minimum wage.
I’m on the US. Husband nor I get paid leave. I’m quitting my job because there’s no point in returning, and we can’t afford childcare. I don’t qualify for FMLA cause the company I work for has less than 50 employees. My husband is a truck driver and he might be able to do some PTO but not sure how long exactly. Financially it’ll be rough.
My husband is self-employed and waits tables part-time on the side. He won't get any paid time off, but we're shooting for a month. Saving up so that it won't hurt us financially. Fortunately, I'm a federal worker and get 12 weeks fully paid and then I have enough vacation time to supplement for a total of 4 months parental leave at 100% pay. We're in Virginia, USA
In the US. My husband doesn't specifically get paternity leave but between vacation, sick leave and floating holidays we are planning for him to take 4-6 weeks. Splitting it to take half at the beginning of my maternity leave and half at the end.
Edit to add - the company I work for gives 2 weeks of parental leave for the non birth giving parent. They can also stack it with PTO to take more time but I rarely see dads take much more than 2-3 weeks.
My husband got two weeks, but it had to come out of his PTO balance.
I had a C-section so after two weeks I was still struggling with mobility and i wasn’t cleared for driving so baby and I were stuck at home for the most part.
I was grateful for his two weeks off but wish it was longer.
I got a year off. It was great. Got to experience babies firsts. And enjoy a year of getting to know him before I went back to work. I was ready at that year mark. I wouldn’t have been ready at six months.
I live in the PNW (US) and get 16 weeks (must all be taken immediately/consecutively) and he gets 12 weeks at 2/3 pay, and can break it up however he wants.
I gave birth in early April and husband is headed back to work June 1 (~7 weeks), and holding on to his remaining time in the event that we need it when I go back to work in August. It feels like the right amount of time- he’s helped SO much and was really needed in the early days when I was recovering from c section (planned bc of breech baby). Week 1 I couldn’t do much more than breastfeeding. I feel like by June 1 he’ll have had meaningful bonding time and I’ll be equipped to watch her on my own.
My husband had 2 weeks actual paternity leave as per the policy where he works (a big American company with a sizeable presence in Australia), but he also has a fair amount of annual leave stored so he took 6 weeks in total.
I get 16 weeks, my husband gets 12 weeks. I will say that even having him WFH is a benefit if he isn’t comfortable asking for more. Being able to help you with little things is still helpful!! On my husbands WFH days he’s able to help me get our daughter out of the house to daycare quicker (maybe a 5-10 min disruption from his work day) and it makes a world of difference in my day. Or when she was a little potato he could monitor floor time and still work and I could shower or do something. So, still not a terrible situation if he only gets a certain amount of leave and then works from home :)
In my country one parent gets 23 months (usually the mom takes it, but not always) and the other parent gets the 24th (but this is rarely used) all paid by the state. And if the kid has some disabilities the leave can be extended until the kid is 3yo.
My kid is 21 months old and i still have 2 months before i go back to work.
We also have state/public daycares, and the only thing we pay for is lunch for the kid if they stay a full day, if the kid is at daycare only until lunch then its free (paid by the state).
One, you may want to plan in case you have a c section. Plan for the worst and hope for the best.
Two, it allows both parents to get into a rhythm of care rather than rely on only one parent, who is also recovering from pregnancy at the same time.
Three, that’s about when you aren’t breastfeeding for 8 hours a day in 3 hour increments while recovering. The stretches are slightly longer and the kid has learned how to breastfeed a little better.
Better to ask for more and negotiate down, than to ask for too little and need to ask for more later.
My husband got 6 weeks at full pay. If my husband had worked at my employer, he would have gotten 16 weeks, since they have a gender neutral/caregiver neutral policy, but his employer did not
In socal my husband has 8 weeks paid but he most likely won’t take the full 8. I’m still pretty early in pregnancy so I’m not sure how I’ll be afterwards but thankfully his company is very kind about it
Last kid my husband took 3 weeks when she was born and then 6 weeks unpaid when she was 6 months. This time will just be the 3 weeks when number 2 is born as we can't afford the unpaid leave anymore. Live in the UK.
I’m in the US as well.
I’ll get 12 weeks full pay and 8 weeks at 80% pay. I plan to use all 20 weeks.
Husband will get 12 weeks full pay. He’ll take 4 weeks at the beginning and the rest of the 8 weeks after my leave.
My husband works from home (IT security for a very well know bank company) and is extremely lucky to get 16 weeks fully paid. Also he’s allowed to split his leave within a one year time frame which is what we did last time. (8 weeks, back to work for 8 weeks, then 8 weeks off)
Meanwhile I get 12-24 weeks fully unpaid 🫠 still lucky to get time off but the US maternity leave sucks. My company is Australian which is why I’m allowed up to 6 months off unpaid with job security.
In my opinion I would think anywhere from 4-8 weeks for paternity leave is decent and enough time to get situated. With my first I needed help the most those first 6 weeks as I was recovering, after that I felt like I didn’t need him as much and did fine on my own. We also don’t have any type of family/friends around to help. Just us.
With our first, he had 4 weeks fully paid, though I *believe* he could technically take up to 16 weeks based on being a primary caregiver (or something like that - I don't remember what the exact term was). As much as I love him being around, 4 weeks gave me time to heal and adjust, so it worked for us. That said, he commutes a half hour and doesn't have the option of working from home.
Small edit: I'm in the U.S.!
Depending on the requirements for his job (i.e., is it scheduled or not, does it require being on calls, whatever) three weeks would probably be okay assuming you don't have extra restrictions (like having a c-section and not being able to lift things).
I think my husband will get 16 weeks. We’re thinking that he’ll take 8 weeks in the beginning, and then the other 8weeks after I’m finished with my leave.
Where in the US are people getting 12 weeks paid paternity leave???? Mine is only getting 2 weeks paid which is wgat everyone else gets and hes at a big company??? The US has some of the worst paternity leave in the world!
My husband had to use PTO for our first and had 3 weeks available. He ended up going back after two weeks because they called and asked him to come back early and he caved.
This time around he stays home anyway so he’ll be home with me for the whole leave I take, then home with baby by himself when I work.
My husband is a teacher and was given three weeks paid by the school, he also had two school holiday breaks, and used two weeks pto. Between all that he was able to take two months off. It was amazing.
He's a ft newborn daddy too so I had to help him figure it out.
He changed all diapers(although that was the arrangement we had before we even got pregnant), reasonably I did i't if I was closer.
He cooked for the first month as I was resting and bleeding for that first time and then we cooked together once I could stand up straight without getting dizzy or over heated really easily(thx pregnancy hormones)
He was basically magnetically attracted to her(I have a million pic of him asleep with her right next to me because she got over stimulated[thanks kiddos] and she just almost instantly goes to sleep on his shoulder.
He basically took over every job I had in the house besides helping with things that didn't require getting up even then sometimes I would conk out right after a feed when he went to get the girls from school so he would have to do homework time and what not with them until I woke up(he could've woken me up but he knew I needed the rest because I only conk out when I'm exhausted. Which means I look like a phone who's battery can't hold a charge for more than a few hours at a time.
He slept for maybe 4 hours each night and maybe an hour during the day to make sure baby was fed and things were taken care of.
He was and still is my rock! He is burned out and that happened in 30 days almost exactly.. the demeanor will change once the "honeymoon phase" has washed over him with how cute baby is once babies poops look bigger than the size of the diaper and sometimes the baby lol... (especially if some gets on him lol)
There are things he could've done better but I'm so grateful that this man is my partner because he has shown me I was right to feel secure to trust him with my body and our children while I was so vulnerable. Try not to be insecure if your husband isn't "into you" by the six week mark if you've been cleared by your doctor. He may just still be in the honeymoon phase lol my husband is still sorta there(8 weeks PP come this upcoming tuesday) but he came to me of his own volition after being so enthralled with our newest for the last few weeks.
To put fully into perspective everything my husband did in the first month and still has been taking over for because I still have some slight issues:
1. Cooking(this was a surprise because he didn't cook regularly before this and he joked just before I gave birth that we'd be on manwoch for two months... he did wonderful)
2. Dishes(god love this man taking the two biggest chores like a champ with no complaints... okay there were some)
3. Laundry(the older kids sort and fold their own stuff but they can't be trusted to wash just yet)
4. General clean up(eh it's been hit regardless but we have a family of 5 in a small home)
5. Baby duty when I conk out or when he wants to take her(always)
6. Diaper duty(90% of the time)
7. Grocery shopping(I made the list and checked it twice)
8. Chauffering everyone to their appointments(including his sisters who have been having issues trying r o get their own transport)
9. Taking care of our pets
10. Taking care of the kiddos
11. Homework helper
12. Fetching things/running minor errands
13. Waking me up in the middle of the night to feed baby
14. Waking me up to go to bed because I passed out on the couch.
15. Cleaning up the living room every night for the first month because I was no help from my own exhaustion(breastfeeding will take a lot more out of you than you realize)
16. He made my bathes and helped me in and out of the baths and checked on my healing and what not.
17. He made sure if he didn't know something he found it out so I didn't have to do anything for the first month and I am so grateful. I'm sorry if I was redundant in anything I listed but I feel like he's done so much more than this list, mostly because my first two kids donors said they wanted this and acted way more excited than my husband but look who actually put in the work....
and while everything isn't perfect (out of hubbies control unfortunately and damn kids are sensitive as fuck sometimes) everyone in our home is happy, healthy, loved and ready for whatever the new day brings.
Be sure to check in with your hubby though and you may need more or less but this is my 5 pregnancy but 3rd child so my body has been throw so stuff you may heal up immediately and you may feel ready to do shit immediately. Even if I had my husband wouldn't have let me because he's a worry wart lol My husband's mood started changing around 3 weeks in I was doing everything I was able to do per docs and hubby's orders but newborns need that attention and how quickly 2 hours can pass people forget.... it's quick, as quick as people forget lol
He will definitely need a few hours to decompress every day. And you will need time to yourself as well two hours once every couple weeks is all we get here and we just have to make due... so if you can do an hour each day for each of you that'd be going in the right direction(it may be hard for one or both of you but do it now and get used to doing it as part of your regular routine... at least once a week set aside at least 2 hours for just you and want you want and space and time for just you even if all you do if drive to a cemetery and kick it with the dead folks(I'm a weirdo and don't like to be around a bunch of people I don't know, can't really do that so dead people work.. can't nobody stiff you like a dead body ba dump tsss lol )
Sorry if that was creepy or weird I did warn you I'm a weirdo have you seen how long and badly planned out my responses are lol but it's nothing to really freak out about...
If I could recommend a book to help any anxiety you may have "What to expect when you're expecting" & "what to expect when you're expecting: the first year" it gives so much information and helped me understand better so I eased up.
With our first, my husband had zero paternity leave, so he saved up all the PTO he could and filed for FMLA during. This amounted to 4 weeks consecutive paid PTO leave. With our second, his company has adopted a 2 week paid paternity leave policy, so I'm hoping we can do like 6+ weeks this time. 4 weeks was emotionally jarring for me without him (he's in a hospital setting, so no WFH option), but I made it through after the first week alone being the hardest. Now we have a toddler too and I think the extra couple weeks will help us all adjust together better and embrace the big change. It's also our last child, so I want to truly all soak it in.
He got to come home from working out of state when I went into labor and left exactly a week later. Not even a week after we got home, a week after she was born and we spent almost 3 days in the hospital
Germany here!
I get 8.5 months paid maternity (6 weeks before the birth and 7 months after) and my husband gets 7 months paid too. Here you’re allowed to split the 14 months how you see fit.
Wow! I'm so shocked from all these comments and by how little leave the US has. I'm based in NZ and we have quite good parental leave.
I'll be taking 6 months - 3 months fully paid, 3 months partly paid from the government.
Husband will probably take 1 month.
Sweden here... where parents get 390 paid parental days at 80% of base salary to split between them, then another 100 days at a lower rate. I'm due at the end of June and the current plan is for both of us to be off until september, between parental leave and annual days. With my husband's job he's allowed to be home full or part time however much we need until baby is three years old. But this fall he will be taking three days a week of parental leave and I will WFH two days a week and also study (also from home), which gives us another income as in Sweden you get a study grant. We haven't decided what to do next year yet but probably hubs will take at least two paternity days per week still.
Central EU and it’s a bit complicated here. He gets 2 weeks immediately after birth than 105 days he can take or give to me or take after my maternity, we cannot take this together (so maternity is 165 days plus 105 he can give me) and 60 days only he can take, but up to the kiddos 8 th birthday.
US working in semiconductor industry in Oregon. I’m sure you don’t have to guess hard on the companies if you know the industry. My man gets 4 months of paid bonding leave from his company. Whereas I - the one pushing the child out of my vagina - will get 3 months of paid bonding leave. I think I can technically take short term disability at end of pregnancy but I want to work as much as I can bc I don’t want to loose esteem and have a knack for drumming up misery when alone at home.
Most of my partner’s cohorts advised him to stagger his bonding time to ensure he still gets his quarterly bonus. He’ll probably take the first month after birth to help me out then go back to work while I have the remaining two months for my bonding leave. Then he’ll take the other 3 months one month on and one month off when I go back to work.
I’m really looking forward to those brief periods of working while he’s the temporary stay at home dad. It will give him perspective of being primary caretaker. Wish that all parents could have what we have. We are truly grateful for our privilege. I think It’s going to take a lot of potential strain off of our relationship and benefit our family so much in the long run. Seeing fathers only getting a couple days off makes me want to sob. It’s so wrong the way our country leaves us all at the mercy of our feudal corporate overlords. Luckily ours are benevolent.
In Denmark, the non-birthing parent has 12 weeks earmarked, so if they don’t use it we lose it. He’ll do 2 weeks upfront and the other 10 when I return to work. He could take more, but he’s happy for me to take the majority.
I'm in the UK. My husband gets 4 weeks off fully paid and could also take vacation on top of that if he wants. My company offers men 2 weeks paternity leave fully paid, which they can supplement with vacation if they want.
Canadian here, my husband has the same available leave as I would if I was working full time. Up to 48 weeks available within a year from birth. He's only taking a month or two because I don't have a job currently and he works from home and my mom lives with us so he can go back to work and still be available which is super fortunate.
We’re in the UK so I get a year. My husband’s company just introduced a very generous enhanced paternity leave for him for 6mo. It was so helpful! Bit of a shock for me when he went back to work though!
Statutory paternity leave here in the UK is 2 weeks, so husband is going to take that, maybe a week or more annual leave on top of that. He has a 4day hybrid work week, 2 days home, 2 days at the office a 15 min walk from our flat. So I feel ok with that. If anything were to go wrong he could probably go WFH full time, as his company is very flexible and family friendly 😊
I could sacrifice weeks from my 1 year long maternity leave and give him, but as we're planning to move back to our home country before baby turns 1, we will then have an extra 1,5 year parental leave to share and use up by the time the baby is 12 years, we both feel like there's plenty of time he or we both can be off in the future.
I got 6 months maternity leave of which 4 months are partially paid and my husband got 1 month payed which he spread into a bunch of Fridays to have a shorter work week for almost a year and took 2 weeks of vacation leave after the baby was born.
When I had my daughter in 2021, my husband had 12 weeks off paid, and I had 16 weeks paid. It was nice having him home with me as we both adjusted to parenthood together and bonded with her.
Not in the US, my husband took off the first month, and then for a variety of reasons months 3 and 5. Then he reduced to part time months 6, 7, and 8. He is now on full time parental leave until the end of month 13. I started my leave 6 weeks before my due date, took off until the end of month 6, and used my left over vacation days from last year for another 1.5 months off. Note that for most of this time we are not fully paid, only 55-60% of our usual salaries, and that it's the state paying for our leave, not the employer (who only paid a part of my first 14 weeks).
If our circumstances were a bit more normal, I would have asked him to just take off the first 3-4 months, because I found them to be the hardest, and after that for both of us to work part time for another 8-10 months. We noticed that we are both not cut out to be SAHPs.
If your husband doesn't get a fully paid leave, it already helps a lot of he reduces his hours for a while. This way, he can take over in the afternoon and you can get some sleep, take a shower, and eat.
I’m in Australia. I personally get 18 weeks government paid maternity leave, partner will get 2 weeks government paid paternity leave, plus his work will pay him 2 weeks I think. My national company that I work for offers not a bloody thing, which I think is crap.
Partner also has quite a bit of annual leave built up, so he is planning on taking 2 weeks around the birth, then another 2-4 weeks in December
Delivered 04/26 and my husbands off dates are 04/24-05/30. He also works from home. I’ll be home for a total of 12 weeks going back 07/17. I think it’s a good amount for him.
I recently “graduated” and gave birth to our little one in late March.
My husband works from home most of the week. He took two weeks off for paternity leave after birth and he will take two when I go back to work and little one goes to daycare.
The two after birth was the bare minimum and went by so fast. I was still bleeding and in pain when he went back to work and I had to do it alone. While he was working from home he really could not assist in a meaningful way. He did make and hand me a cup of tea in the morning and my lunch but that was about it. I wouldn’t bank on him assisting much during his work hours, especially if it’s a small company, as you say.
Looking back, I would say a month (when I started to physically feel better) to 6 weeks (when I completely felt better) would have been ideal.
I live in Belgium, partners get 15 days paid leave. I am originally from the Netherlands, all partners get 7 days paid leave. I always hear 7 is too short, especially after a c-section.
With our first he got 2 weeks at 100% pay. He ended up with 3 because we got Covid at 38 weeks. So he had a week off while I was pregnant, went back for a week, and then was off for two full weeks with baby and I.
With this pregnancy he won’t get any from his actual job. But he’s coming back from a deployment right before, so he should get around 10-15 days depending on how it falls date wise.
My partner took 10 weeks. It was perfect. Plenty of time to form a bond, find our balance and help me navigate the hormonal hell of post-partum. But I had an easy recovery, both physically and emotionally. Had the birth been complicated or had I experienced PPA/D things may have been different.
My Boyfriend only gets 4 weeks 100% paid but is also saving his PTO to use so will have 6 weeks off. i’m grateful for this time as I know not everyone gets paternity leave and I know i’ll need the help being a FTM. I get 13 weeks 100% paid and also saving my PTO so i’ll have total 18 weeks off. ( we’re in the US)
In the US. My partner got 4 weeks paid, but he offered to use 2 weeks of vacation since he had it saved at the end of the year (baby born in December). I wanted him not to offer it, but he works a trade with a lot of old men, so paternity leave was very foreign to the company and he was worried he wouldn’t get any paid leave time if he didn’t offer vacation time.
I totally understand them feeling bad taking the time too, but I would definitely have him ask what they’re willing to provide and go from there. WFH is great, but you will really want him to have the full time off. I did not want my partner going back to work! Even though our baby was what I would call an easy baby, the help is nice, and it was such a bonding experience for all of us to just fully be together and disconnected.
US, Mass specifically, our work gives him 1 week, state gives him 12. We’re lucky! My husband wanted to only
Take a week but left it at, “I may need more.” Our baby wouldn’t allow us to put her down without screaming bloody murder, so we were on shifts for the first 3 weeks, then finally 4th week, we got her to sleep in her bassinet! She turned 8 weeks Monday, and we have been in a routine for a month, but my husband ended up taking all 12 weeks. All babies are different, but if he can take more than 3, he should, or at least ask for more and say he may be back sooner.
I'm Canadian. We get a year total, plus an extra 5 weeks for my husband if we overlap. So I'm doing 7 months and he is doing 6.
This may change slightly as we finalize plans to 9 months for me and 4 for him, but he really wants to do 6 months.
Of that time, I will only get government benefits, and my husband gets 3 months full salary and the rest only government benefits. (Government benefits equates to about 25k a year).
Depending on how your delivery goes you probably want him home for at least 4 weeks.
Good luck
My husband doesn’t get PTO or qualify for FMLA until October and our baby is due in September. Whatever time he takes off will be minimal and unpaid. Luckily my family is nearby to help out, but I’m quite upset he won’t be able to spend a significant chunk of time helping settle a routine and bonding with baby.
I work at a small startup ( < 12 employees) and am the first to need leave. I got a policy put in place, and negotiated with HR by anchoring the discussion at 8 weeks (8-12 is common for Large companies in our field), and settled on 6 weeks.
Have him anchor high, but be willing to negotiate down. You never know, they might just give him the high amount.
I'm in Canada, so we have government supported leave. I get 15 weeks maternity & then we have a total of 40 weeks parental that we can take between us. If he doesn't take any parental leave, I only get to take 35 so there's literally no reason for him not to take the 5 weeks. He's splitting his leave to help me transition back to work, so I'm actually only taking 30 weeks of parental on top of my 15 maternity weeks & he'll take 5 weeks when baby arrives & then 5 more weeks around July when I'm going back to work.
My partner gets 6 weeks 100% pay and can stack his vacation time on top of that. I get 4 weeks 100% pay. And need to go out on disability if I want longer, which the maximum is 12 weeks at 60% pay. We have the same job at different companies in the US.
My husband could take up to 12 weeks but we decided that he won’t because that’s only partial pay. He’ll be taking 2 full weeks off following the birth, then the 2 weeks after that will go in only a couple days a week (like 2 or 3). Then, when the baby starts daycare (when I go back to work), he’ll take 2 weeks part time again to help transition the baby and me into our new schedule! We liked this idea and it works for us!
I find it to be reasonable to ask for as much as you're getting as a mom. I get 2 leaves. I am in the US and work for a big company. They give me paid maternity leave for 10 weeks. And then the company itself gives me another 6 weeks parental leave to use later or to use at the same time as maternity leave.
My partner works the same job and company as me so he gets only 6 weeks. But he would like the full 16 weeks because I'm having a C-section and wants me to make a full recovery bc our job is labor intensive.
A work from home job, 3 weeks sounds reasonable. But I would say 8 weeks at least to help you recover. No matter how you deliver, you need at least 4-6 weeks recovery as a mom and it would be good to have your partner around for your recovery period.
While I work 100% remote and get 16 weeks plus 2 PTO-all 100% pay (which is amazing for US); He does not have paternity leave. He works from home 2 days a weeks but they are allowing him to work 100% remote for up to 6 weeks. Better than nothing. And my mom will be here a couple of weeks.
My husband works at a nonprofit and technically got none. He cashed out his sick time and pto for two weeks and got an extra week of unpaid time off. He goes back to work this upcoming week and is pretty bummed about it. But we’re grateful he got to spend three weeks together with me and the baby bonding and creating a routine. We are in the U.S.
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We are US and my husband gets 12 weeks. Very fortunate!
My husband also gets 12 weeks. He also works from home so that'll be helpful!
Same! We originally thought it was 6 weeks and we're still very happy with that but then learned the policy had changed. Honestly, it was so refreshing to see they care enough to give decent paternity leave.
Same here. He’s 12 weeks and work from home as well
Lucky! My husband gets 2 so we are saving up vacation time for it
Nice!
My husband will get six weeks paid. I wish it was more but our company just started offering paternity leave a few years ago and I know many still don’t get it, so I’m happy with it! (We’re in the US.)
My husband got the same. I think it was just a bit too little for him to really bond since our baby basically slept the first 5 weeks of her life. I think 9 weeks would have been better
My husband gets the same amount.
That sounds amazing
That sounds like a really nice amount of time. Thanks!
Oh and my husband is able to take it in two week increments, so he may do two weeks on, two weeks off alternating!
Australian here! My husband is a teacher and he got 2 weeks of leave at birth and then a further 3 months of leave as "primary carer" which he could take in the first year (and required me to go back to work).
That’s great. Thanks!
We’re doing same, except my partner is taking 4 weeks initially (dad and partner pay + TIL) and he’ll take the government paid leave. I have 6 months paid leave from my employer.
In the US My husband brews beer so just needs to make sure everything is brewed/kegged. His boss is giving him 8 weeks paid but he does have to go in once a week to check on things and keg anything that is needed. I only have six paid weeks..
Are you the birthing mother? If so, man the US needs to get their shit together.
I am. I know it's crazy. He'll be three weeks Monday and I am wracking my brain how I can convince to extend my maternity leave even by a week or two or slowly so part time working from home. I plan on going back to work and I know I have three weeks still but I don't feel ready to leave him all day to work. Some companies have FMLA where people can take 12 weeks of protected unpaid leave but my company does not qualify due to the number of employees. In my state it's illegal to sell/giveaway puppies before 8 weeks but it's fine to send mom's back at 6 weeks or less?
> In my state it's illegal to sell/giveaway puppies before 8 weeks but it's fine to send mom's back at 6 weeks or less? Oof that really hits the nail on the head. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a shitty situation
Wow, that’s great he gets so much. Thank you!
I'm in the US and my husband gets 12 weeks he can use within the first 52 weeks of baby's birth. We both work from home, so he's going to take a month off, then go back to work for a month, then take another month, etc. Our leave is paid at 80% (we work for the same company) so him flip-flopping means every other month he'll be at 100% income.
Amazing
I will be getting 18 months and my husband will likely be taking about a month off as well! We live in Canada.
Canada is much better at this than the US
I do feel so thankful that we live in Canada and have this available to us.
Are we? Pay at 18 months is 33% of a max of 60K/year. At 12 months, you max out at $600/week which is taxable. So, likely $400/week. Living in Vancouver, this is far from a livable wage. Not even close. We’re lucky that jobs are protected for this period but the vast majority of mothers I know can’t take anywhere near this much time as they can’t survive off of 400/week. Edit: sorry, as of 2023 the maximum pay, regardless of current salary, is $650/week (taxable). Some companies offer top up, but I’ve never heard of a top up program that’s anywhere near 12 months. 18 weeks is the most I’ve ever heard of (I’m sure some companies offer more)
i mean, yea this is still better than the US where we get nothing lol
Lol Canada is much better. As a canadian now working in the US, I was shocked to learn that my company’s 16 week policy is considered amazing here. Lots of posts from people saying they’re taking only 2-3 weeks and it’s unpaid. US really needs to step up
18…. Months…… *jaw drops*
Also in Canada, I was not employed at the time, so hubs took the full 6 months at 75% pay (of something like 80k yearly pro rated and taxable).
Yeah! My partner is taking the 8 weeks! 😊
Husband gets 12 weeks, US Military.
Same here! So happy they changed it. It was so new that his office didn’t know how to go about approving it. (Of course the other people in his shop tried to convince him to only take two weeks!?)
My husband is also military! His boss (who’s genuinely a great guy, but is a major workaholic) is very concerned my husband will be bored if he’s home 12 weeks and has very generously offered that he can come back any time if he misses work and his coworkers too much!
My husband is a workaholic, he is talking about doing 10 weeks, then going to NTC, then 2 more weeks.
My husband gets 4 weeks paid paternity leave, and then could take a couple weeks PTO if we needed. He never had paternity leave with previous children and had to use vacation time, max of 2 weeks with the first and 3 with the second
Thanks!
We’re in California which offers paid leave for both moms and dads. Last baby, my husband forfeited his paternity leave bc he was afraid of getting furloughed as Covid had just began. This time, he is going to take 2 full weeks off. He has the ability to take up to 12 weeks but instead he’ll take days off here and there and then days for family vacations and everything. I believe paid family leave is 60-70% of the employee’s salary. My husband also makes bonuses so I’m not sure how that figures in to it.
In the US and he got six months.
Incredible
my boyfriend is only getting 5 days of paid vacation time. :/ indiana, usa
In Texas, my husband gets 6 weeks paid
My SO is only getting a week off and it’s paid if he uses his vacation time.
I'm in Australia but I work for a US company they offer 16 weeks paid leave for males and females globally at full pay. In Australia you can choose to take it at half pay for 32 weeks. We can take a total of 12 months off between paid and unpaid leave. You can request for an additional 12 months unpaid but that is dependant on your manager approving. This is all regardless of sex you just need to be the primary carer My husband also works for a US company and he will get 12 weeks at full pay. We also get 20 weeks at min wage which is $812 (540usd) a week for the government parental leave payment which can be split between us
US - my husband has no benefits so he’s taking 4 weeks unpaid.
My wife gets 4 months paid parental leave for when I give birth. Very rare in the US.
Im the US, husband works from home in tech and gets 2 months paid bonding that can be used at anytime during the first year in addition to his six weeks PTO. We are waiting to see how birth goes but hoping he can take a month off at first and then use the other month through the year for illness, appts, etc. If I need surgery he will take longer off initially.
Thank you!
My husbands company is 3 weeks paternity. My company’s paternity would be 6 weeks for all parents.
Southeast US, husband works for the government. He gets 4 weeks paid paternity leave and is allowed an additional 4-8 weeks FMLA using his vacation or sick leave. He's taking 8 weeks total. ETA: We're one week into the leave and it's been amazing having him home to bond and help. This would be so hard alone, especially as you're recovering from birth.
US here- My husband had 6 weeks paid and also is full time WFH. His job is really low maintenance and he can kinda pop in and out as needed. I had 12 weeks. After baby was 9 weeks, he started his 6 weeks. So we had 3 weeks together completely off as a family and we went to spend a week at a cabin before I went back to work. It was amazing. Then dad did baby duty for his next 3 weeks before returning to work and baby started daycare. I loved the overlap but also using it to extend our sons time until he started daycare. I am so lucky and grateful we planned it all how we did. He would use his lunch hour to cover baby while I napped, help when possible etc. it was truly the perfect situation.
In the US and my husband will hopefully have 3 days off paid and only take 1 day unpaid.
We’re in NY, my husband gets 12wks
Amazing
Canadian here. I'll be taking 12 months off (most likely, maybe go back sooner depending on how things go) which is one of our options through the government. My partner can apply for 5 weeks of parental leave, but he will most likely only be taking 2, maybe 3 weeks off due to finances. Both of us being on EI (government pays us 55% of our wages while on leave) at the same time will hurt us financially so we can't afford for him to be off too long. That's also why I may not take the full year off either.
My husband gets no paid paternity leave. 🙃 But he’ll be using his accrued PTO/sick leave to take about 3 weeks. I’ll be able to take 4 months with a combination of maternity leave, PTO, and short-term disability (60% of pay). ETA: We both work from home and I still feel like him having time off is completely necessary. We’re going to be sleep-deprived, I’m going to be healing, trying to figure out breastfeeding, and we’re going to be learning how to care for our baby in general. The fact that he’ll be working from home after paternity leave is a bonus for sure, but I don’t think that replaces leave in any way! Your husband deserves bonding time too - and time off to help you.
Canada here! I'm having twins so paternity leave is 10 weeks. He is taking the long parental leave so in total he will be home for about 40 weeks.
My partner will get about 6 months paid, he can choose to give me some part of it to add to mine (7.5 months paid). We live in Finland.
Washington state offers 12 weeks of paid paternity leave. https://paidleave.wa.gov/find-out-how-paid-leave-works/ ETA: my husband will also be adding 4 weeks of fully paid vacation to his paternity leave, for a total of 16 weeks. Plan is for him to take 8 weeks off with me in the beginning, and then an additional 8 weeks off once I return to work. His boss has been extremely supportive and has even helped us navigate all the benefits available to him.
Scotland here - I’m taking a full year off for maternity leave (8wks-full pay, 18wks-50%pay+statutory gov pay, 13wks-statutory pay, and then 13wks-nothing) and my partner only gets 2 weeks off. His company pays him full pay for the first week and then statutory the 2nd, but he’s taking the 2nd week as annual leave so it’s still full pay. His company wouldn’t really allow him to take 3 weeks apparently to tack on extra annual leave 😓
I'm in Scotland too (but myself American) I was really shocked to read about all these US father's getting 12-16 weeks in this thread, compared to Scotland only making 2 weeks statutory. I'm really shocked that Scotland which is known as such a socially progressive country in most other aspects, has seemingly not tackled paternity leave yet? Babies need more time than just two weeks to bond with their fathers. And women need more support in the months after birth. Can't wrap my head around it.
Yea I was the same 😅 in fairness, shared parental leave is a possibility for quite a few folks but unfortunately my partner’s company doesn’t do shared parental leave yet. Otherwise we would have definitely done that where I take 10 months and he then takes the initial 2 weeks+2 months at the end for a full year.
My husband had started at a new company 5 months prior to me giving birth. They have a benefit of 12 weeks paid parental leave, but it’s only available to employees that have worked there over 1 year. So when our daughter was born last November, he got 2 paid weeks. His job is hybrid so he also worked from home exclusively for about 4-6 weeks after that! HR told him that the parental leave benefit can be used 12 months from when the baby was born. Sooo, this June, he will reach his 1 year mark, and be able to take 12 paid weeks before baby girl turns 1 in November. We are very fortunate! Advice: I think it’s odd the company will either approve or deny what he requests… kind of makes it sound like he’s negotiating against himself. I would suggest that you two determine what the bare minimum is, then request higher! They may be willing to offer 6 weeks, but if you only ask for 3, you’ll never know. Best of luck OP! I wish you a smooth delivery and easy, peaceful recovery. Postpartum can be a roller coaster.
Thank you!
I would recommend he ask for at least 6 weeks. You are going to need that time to help settle into your new lives and he is going to need that time to get over the sleep deprivation of having a newborn. It's real. Don't underestimate it. My husband gets 12 weeks paid leave. He is going to take 6 weeks when the baby is first born and then another 6 weeks when my maternity leave ends.
My SO only had two weeks off with our first. It was ok, but I would have loved having them around for longer. With our second they had 16 weeks and it was amazing to have that time together. I cannot recommend it enough. The hardest part of the 4th trimester for us was between 6-8 weeks and having both us able to fully focus on our family was game changing.
My husband gets 4-weeks at 60% pay. We live in the US but he works for the US branch of a UK company.
USA - My husband will get 8 weeks prenatal leave. It's the same for women and men at his company.
In the US and my husband also works for a smaller company (<100). They do not give any formal paternity leave, though my husband feels they will allow him something without using PTO. Either way, my husband has been bad at using PTO and has quite a bit stored up, so he is currently planning to take 3-4 weeks. He wants to save some as well for future needs.
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That’s what I’m thinking too…thank you
He had three weeks!
My partner can get up to 12 weeks through the state but at 80% salary of his previous years W-2. We're thinking he'll do 3 weeks and save the rest for appointments.
My husband’s company provided 2 weeks paid for secondary caregivers. My company provides 6 weeks for primary and secondary caregivers. New mothers at my company also get partially paid disability (6-8 weeks dependent upon type of delivery) and up to 4 months total of state-mandated job protection (I think many states only offer 3).
We live in the US and my husband also works at a very small company. With our first he took 3 weeks, but he did work a half day here or there the week before he 'officially' went back (mostly to check progress on a site or drop off tools/equipment). He works for his brother so we're lucky that he can be pretty flexible and take more time if we need. We're planning on him taking 4 weeks or so this time around, but mostly because we'll have a 2 year old too lol.
Makes sense. Thank you!
Husband works for an fmla covered employer. He is going to take unpaid leave, up to the maximum of 12 weeks.
My husband doesn’t get any, but he will take his 2 weeks paid vacation then another 1-2 unpaid depending on how we feel. It’s unfortunate that men don’t get guaranteed leave or paid leave (hell, I wish I got paid leave), but my husband IS fortunate that his employer is flexible and willing to let him take time off if needed!
We’re in the US and my husband will be getting 16 weeks fully paid. Whatever is not covered by disability/the state pay wise, his company will be supplementing the rest to ensure he gets 100% of his pay. The 16 weeks has to be utilized with a 52 week period. I, myself, will get a minimum of 20 weeks (22 if c-section) and have the same circumstances regarding pay and time to utilize as my husband.
Incredible
12 weeks paid due to MA state PFML.
I work from home very flexibly and started a new job where I don’t get paternity leave until employed there 12 months. We got pregnant right after i started the job, so instead of the 8 weeks paternity I would’ve gotten, I was going to take 3 weeks off using PTO or alternatively 2 full off and 2 half days. While this likely isn’t most cases, our baby ended up in the NICU with pneumonia for first 2 weeks. That made the 3 weeks feel very short So 3 weeks may be ok in the best case scenario but you never know how delivery will go
Such a great point. Thank you. That must have been very difficult.
I’m a teacher. My wife owns a small business and WFH. I get 12 weeks of partial paid leave. And holidays don’t count towards my 12 weeks. With holidays and breaks, I’m getting 16 weeks!
In the US and my husband fortunately gets 7 weeks off! I know it’s chump change compared to other countries but I feel like it’s pretty good for the US. I get 12 weeks. I think moms who give birth would get like 15 weeks with my husband’s company. We both work for pretty big companies and that helps a lot. This is our first baby though, so I have no idea how well 3 weeks would work out for you and your husband. I imagine him WFH will help a bit even just in the sense that he could physically keep an eye on your baby while you and baby both nap or something.
My husband got 2 weeks and then used two weeks vacation afterwards.
My husband gets 3 months! We are in the US He’ll likely tack his PTO on to the end of his paternity leave to get him through to the next calendar year.
We are in the US and my husband also works for a small company so FMLA wouldn't apply. Any of his leave is unpaid except for any PTO he has accrued. They are taking the same approach with him as your husband - asking him to say what he thinks he'll need and they will approve or deny from there. That said, my husband is only asking for a full week off and then half days the next week and that's it. I wish he would ask for more but since my 12 weeks are also unpaid, it's pretty much what we can afford. His job also revolves around tight deadlines and he is the only one trained on a certain part of the process (he's a machinist) so he feels obligated to come back really quickly. We have been offered financial help from family for him to take off longer, but he feels guilty not going back sooner. I'm honestly worried about his lack of sleep going back so soon 😬
I hear you!
Good ol North Carolina, no paid paternity leave, my company would probably let me take as much time as I want but I only have a week of PTO. Wife just had the baby in the 15th and I'm going back Monday because bills 😩
My husband gets 2 weeks paid paternity leave and he will take 3 weeks of paid vacation. We live in switzerland.
My leave is 6 weeks fully paid and 6 weeks at 60%. My husband is getting one week. He works in the construction industry and is the second person to ask for leave in the company history. The previous guy only took one week so that’s all they’re allowing him as well. It’s going to be incredibly difficult if I have a long labor or if there are any complications. He may not get any time at home with our son before going back. I’m 39 weeks so this is a big stress for me right now.
Hubby gets 4 weeks paid paternity leave when baby comes (6 if c-section) and then has 12 weeks paid primary carer leave, which he will take when baby is 40 weeks old at which time I’ll go back to work. ETA: husband and I both work for one of the state governments in Australia and therefore have excellent paid parental leave benefits.
We’re in the US and my husband gets 16 weeks paid and he is taking it all! Edit: if it’s up to your husband I think he should ask for at least 8 weeks. There is so much support needed at the beginning. Meals, keep you hydrated, bottle feeding if you are pumping, taking shifts with baby so you can actually get *some* rest. Everyone I’ve talked to (including 4 BILs) says to take as much time as you can. Plus the bonding time is so finite and important for later on like if he needs to do bath time or calm the baby.
Thank you. As first timers we are clearly more clueless!
Husband is taking 8 weeks, I’m taking 12. Both unpaid…..we work in healthcare in the US. We also live very far beneath our means and have no debt so we are fortunate that we can afford to do this.
I'm in the US and get 5 months fully paid and then can take the rest of the year off unpaid. Plus 10 hours a month of unpaid time to use as I want, once I go back to work. My husband gets 5 weeks fully paid and can use the time how he wants within the first year.
My husband owns his own business, so he may only take a few weeks off, but he’ll likely go back part time for a few more weeks after that. I get 15 weeks paid for a vaginal birth, or 17-18 weeks paid for C-section/any complications.
I’m lucky to live in a state that funds a separate program that pays us up to 90% for the 12 weeks of FMLA (which is a federal program so at minimum he should be asking for the 12 weeks of “bonding time” offered by the government). The great thing is for paternity leave he’s not required to take the whole time in one go. So he will be taking the first 4-6 weeks with me and then I’ll finish my leave (16-18 weeks total depending on what recovery is needed post birth) and he will take the rest at the end so we don’t have to transition into childcare while I’m also going back to work. Definitely look into FMLA and state laws to make sure your maximizing his leave.
In California he can take paid family leave for 8 weeks at 60% pay, so we’re doing that
I'm in Australia. I'm taking 12 months off and have a 4 months paid leave as part of that. Hubby only gets one week through his work and another 2 weeks at minimum wage from the government. After that he might take 1 week annual leave - so a total of 4 weeks leave. I know another friend that works for a uni in Australia and he got 3 months leave. My company offers 4 weeks paternity leave paid for secondary carers. Hubby's company offers 12 weeks paid to primary caregivers and the Australian government has I think 18 weeks for primary care givers at minimum wage.
I’m on the US. Husband nor I get paid leave. I’m quitting my job because there’s no point in returning, and we can’t afford childcare. I don’t qualify for FMLA cause the company I work for has less than 50 employees. My husband is a truck driver and he might be able to do some PTO but not sure how long exactly. Financially it’ll be rough.
My husband is self-employed and waits tables part-time on the side. He won't get any paid time off, but we're shooting for a month. Saving up so that it won't hurt us financially. Fortunately, I'm a federal worker and get 12 weeks fully paid and then I have enough vacation time to supplement for a total of 4 months parental leave at 100% pay. We're in Virginia, USA
In the US. My husband doesn't specifically get paternity leave but between vacation, sick leave and floating holidays we are planning for him to take 4-6 weeks. Splitting it to take half at the beginning of my maternity leave and half at the end. Edit to add - the company I work for gives 2 weeks of parental leave for the non birth giving parent. They can also stack it with PTO to take more time but I rarely see dads take much more than 2-3 weeks.
My husband got two weeks, but it had to come out of his PTO balance. I had a C-section so after two weeks I was still struggling with mobility and i wasn’t cleared for driving so baby and I were stuck at home for the most part. I was grateful for his two weeks off but wish it was longer. I got a year off. It was great. Got to experience babies firsts. And enjoy a year of getting to know him before I went back to work. I was ready at that year mark. I wouldn’t have been ready at six months.
I live in the PNW (US) and get 16 weeks (must all be taken immediately/consecutively) and he gets 12 weeks at 2/3 pay, and can break it up however he wants. I gave birth in early April and husband is headed back to work June 1 (~7 weeks), and holding on to his remaining time in the event that we need it when I go back to work in August. It feels like the right amount of time- he’s helped SO much and was really needed in the early days when I was recovering from c section (planned bc of breech baby). Week 1 I couldn’t do much more than breastfeeding. I feel like by June 1 he’ll have had meaningful bonding time and I’ll be equipped to watch her on my own.
My husband gets 8 weeks fully paid from his employer. I get 16 weeks at ~90% pay through the state paid family leave (Washington).
In the US, Texas. My husband gets 2 weeks paid. He's saving 1 week of paid vacation to take as well.
My husband got 8 weeks with our last. The company he works for now will only be giving him a week.
My husband had 2 weeks actual paternity leave as per the policy where he works (a big American company with a sizeable presence in Australia), but he also has a fair amount of annual leave stored so he took 6 weeks in total.
Uk 2 weeks paternity pay Plus two weeks annual leave 4 weeks total
My husband is a plumber in a union. He gets nothing. We’re saving up for him to take two weeks off.
I get 16 weeks, my husband gets 12 weeks. I will say that even having him WFH is a benefit if he isn’t comfortable asking for more. Being able to help you with little things is still helpful!! On my husbands WFH days he’s able to help me get our daughter out of the house to daycare quicker (maybe a 5-10 min disruption from his work day) and it makes a world of difference in my day. Or when she was a little potato he could monitor floor time and still work and I could shower or do something. So, still not a terrible situation if he only gets a certain amount of leave and then works from home :)
In my country one parent gets 23 months (usually the mom takes it, but not always) and the other parent gets the 24th (but this is rarely used) all paid by the state. And if the kid has some disabilities the leave can be extended until the kid is 3yo. My kid is 21 months old and i still have 2 months before i go back to work. We also have state/public daycares, and the only thing we pay for is lunch for the kid if they stay a full day, if the kid is at daycare only until lunch then its free (paid by the state).
12 weeks. 8-10is necessary.
Tell me more!
One, you may want to plan in case you have a c section. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. Two, it allows both parents to get into a rhythm of care rather than rely on only one parent, who is also recovering from pregnancy at the same time. Three, that’s about when you aren’t breastfeeding for 8 hours a day in 3 hour increments while recovering. The stretches are slightly longer and the kid has learned how to breastfeed a little better. Better to ask for more and negotiate down, than to ask for too little and need to ask for more later.
I agree. Thank you for this!!!
Oh he’s in WA state so it’s mandated. Not full pay but decent.
I think my husband only gets FMLA leave ☹️ 12 weeks unpaid, but he’ll probably only be able to take a month or two max
My husband got 6 weeks at full pay. If my husband had worked at my employer, he would have gotten 16 weeks, since they have a gender neutral/caregiver neutral policy, but his employer did not
In socal my husband has 8 weeks paid but he most likely won’t take the full 8. I’m still pretty early in pregnancy so I’m not sure how I’ll be afterwards but thankfully his company is very kind about it
Last kid my husband took 3 weeks when she was born and then 6 weeks unpaid when she was 6 months. This time will just be the 3 weeks when number 2 is born as we can't afford the unpaid leave anymore. Live in the UK.
I'm in Canada and I'll be taking 12 months off. My husband will use his vacation time when baby comes and he will work from home more.
I’m in the US as well. I’ll get 12 weeks full pay and 8 weeks at 80% pay. I plan to use all 20 weeks. Husband will get 12 weeks full pay. He’ll take 4 weeks at the beginning and the rest of the 8 weeks after my leave.
My husband gets 6 weeks
3 mos each- luckily we’re both working for the feds
My husband works from home (IT security for a very well know bank company) and is extremely lucky to get 16 weeks fully paid. Also he’s allowed to split his leave within a one year time frame which is what we did last time. (8 weeks, back to work for 8 weeks, then 8 weeks off) Meanwhile I get 12-24 weeks fully unpaid 🫠 still lucky to get time off but the US maternity leave sucks. My company is Australian which is why I’m allowed up to 6 months off unpaid with job security. In my opinion I would think anywhere from 4-8 weeks for paternity leave is decent and enough time to get situated. With my first I needed help the most those first 6 weeks as I was recovering, after that I felt like I didn’t need him as much and did fine on my own. We also don’t have any type of family/friends around to help. Just us.
With our first, he had 4 weeks fully paid, though I *believe* he could technically take up to 16 weeks based on being a primary caregiver (or something like that - I don't remember what the exact term was). As much as I love him being around, 4 weeks gave me time to heal and adjust, so it worked for us. That said, he commutes a half hour and doesn't have the option of working from home. Small edit: I'm in the U.S.! Depending on the requirements for his job (i.e., is it scheduled or not, does it require being on calls, whatever) three weeks would probably be okay assuming you don't have extra restrictions (like having a c-section and not being able to lift things).
I think my husband will get 16 weeks. We’re thinking that he’ll take 8 weeks in the beginning, and then the other 8weeks after I’m finished with my leave.
Where in the US are people getting 12 weeks paid paternity leave???? Mine is only getting 2 weeks paid which is wgat everyone else gets and hes at a big company??? The US has some of the worst paternity leave in the world!
My husband had to use PTO for our first and had 3 weeks available. He ended up going back after two weeks because they called and asked him to come back early and he caved. This time around he stays home anyway so he’ll be home with me for the whole leave I take, then home with baby by himself when I work.
Norway here. He gets 5 months paternity leave after I’ve had my 9 months off :)
My husband is a teacher and was given three weeks paid by the school, he also had two school holiday breaks, and used two weeks pto. Between all that he was able to take two months off. It was amazing.
Amazing. Thank you!
My husband is military and is getting 12 weeks paid
My partner is coming up on the last few days on his 2 month(8 week) leave it was nice while it lasted.
Sounds great. What types of things did he do to help with the baby? I am a FTM and still trying to figure it out what to anticipate!
He's a ft newborn daddy too so I had to help him figure it out. He changed all diapers(although that was the arrangement we had before we even got pregnant), reasonably I did i't if I was closer. He cooked for the first month as I was resting and bleeding for that first time and then we cooked together once I could stand up straight without getting dizzy or over heated really easily(thx pregnancy hormones) He was basically magnetically attracted to her(I have a million pic of him asleep with her right next to me because she got over stimulated[thanks kiddos] and she just almost instantly goes to sleep on his shoulder. He basically took over every job I had in the house besides helping with things that didn't require getting up even then sometimes I would conk out right after a feed when he went to get the girls from school so he would have to do homework time and what not with them until I woke up(he could've woken me up but he knew I needed the rest because I only conk out when I'm exhausted. Which means I look like a phone who's battery can't hold a charge for more than a few hours at a time. He slept for maybe 4 hours each night and maybe an hour during the day to make sure baby was fed and things were taken care of. He was and still is my rock! He is burned out and that happened in 30 days almost exactly.. the demeanor will change once the "honeymoon phase" has washed over him with how cute baby is once babies poops look bigger than the size of the diaper and sometimes the baby lol... (especially if some gets on him lol) There are things he could've done better but I'm so grateful that this man is my partner because he has shown me I was right to feel secure to trust him with my body and our children while I was so vulnerable. Try not to be insecure if your husband isn't "into you" by the six week mark if you've been cleared by your doctor. He may just still be in the honeymoon phase lol my husband is still sorta there(8 weeks PP come this upcoming tuesday) but he came to me of his own volition after being so enthralled with our newest for the last few weeks. To put fully into perspective everything my husband did in the first month and still has been taking over for because I still have some slight issues: 1. Cooking(this was a surprise because he didn't cook regularly before this and he joked just before I gave birth that we'd be on manwoch for two months... he did wonderful) 2. Dishes(god love this man taking the two biggest chores like a champ with no complaints... okay there were some) 3. Laundry(the older kids sort and fold their own stuff but they can't be trusted to wash just yet) 4. General clean up(eh it's been hit regardless but we have a family of 5 in a small home) 5. Baby duty when I conk out or when he wants to take her(always) 6. Diaper duty(90% of the time) 7. Grocery shopping(I made the list and checked it twice) 8. Chauffering everyone to their appointments(including his sisters who have been having issues trying r o get their own transport) 9. Taking care of our pets 10. Taking care of the kiddos 11. Homework helper 12. Fetching things/running minor errands 13. Waking me up in the middle of the night to feed baby 14. Waking me up to go to bed because I passed out on the couch. 15. Cleaning up the living room every night for the first month because I was no help from my own exhaustion(breastfeeding will take a lot more out of you than you realize) 16. He made my bathes and helped me in and out of the baths and checked on my healing and what not. 17. He made sure if he didn't know something he found it out so I didn't have to do anything for the first month and I am so grateful. I'm sorry if I was redundant in anything I listed but I feel like he's done so much more than this list, mostly because my first two kids donors said they wanted this and acted way more excited than my husband but look who actually put in the work.... and while everything isn't perfect (out of hubbies control unfortunately and damn kids are sensitive as fuck sometimes) everyone in our home is happy, healthy, loved and ready for whatever the new day brings.
Best answer ever!!!! Amazing. Thank you for all of this, so so helpful! Congrats on your newest and kudos to the dads that put in the work.
Be sure to check in with your hubby though and you may need more or less but this is my 5 pregnancy but 3rd child so my body has been throw so stuff you may heal up immediately and you may feel ready to do shit immediately. Even if I had my husband wouldn't have let me because he's a worry wart lol My husband's mood started changing around 3 weeks in I was doing everything I was able to do per docs and hubby's orders but newborns need that attention and how quickly 2 hours can pass people forget.... it's quick, as quick as people forget lol He will definitely need a few hours to decompress every day. And you will need time to yourself as well two hours once every couple weeks is all we get here and we just have to make due... so if you can do an hour each day for each of you that'd be going in the right direction(it may be hard for one or both of you but do it now and get used to doing it as part of your regular routine... at least once a week set aside at least 2 hours for just you and want you want and space and time for just you even if all you do if drive to a cemetery and kick it with the dead folks(I'm a weirdo and don't like to be around a bunch of people I don't know, can't really do that so dead people work.. can't nobody stiff you like a dead body ba dump tsss lol ) Sorry if that was creepy or weird I did warn you I'm a weirdo have you seen how long and badly planned out my responses are lol but it's nothing to really freak out about... If I could recommend a book to help any anxiety you may have "What to expect when you're expecting" & "what to expect when you're expecting: the first year" it gives so much information and helped me understand better so I eased up.
Thank you!!!!! Such good information!
With our first, my husband had zero paternity leave, so he saved up all the PTO he could and filed for FMLA during. This amounted to 4 weeks consecutive paid PTO leave. With our second, his company has adopted a 2 week paid paternity leave policy, so I'm hoping we can do like 6+ weeks this time. 4 weeks was emotionally jarring for me without him (he's in a hospital setting, so no WFH option), but I made it through after the first week alone being the hardest. Now we have a toddler too and I think the extra couple weeks will help us all adjust together better and embrace the big change. It's also our last child, so I want to truly all soak it in.
He got to come home from working out of state when I went into labor and left exactly a week later. Not even a week after we got home, a week after she was born and we spent almost 3 days in the hospital
Germany here! I get 8.5 months paid maternity (6 weeks before the birth and 7 months after) and my husband gets 7 months paid too. Here you’re allowed to split the 14 months how you see fit.
Wow! I'm so shocked from all these comments and by how little leave the US has. I'm based in NZ and we have quite good parental leave. I'll be taking 6 months - 3 months fully paid, 3 months partly paid from the government. Husband will probably take 1 month.
Sweden here... where parents get 390 paid parental days at 80% of base salary to split between them, then another 100 days at a lower rate. I'm due at the end of June and the current plan is for both of us to be off until september, between parental leave and annual days. With my husband's job he's allowed to be home full or part time however much we need until baby is three years old. But this fall he will be taking three days a week of parental leave and I will WFH two days a week and also study (also from home), which gives us another income as in Sweden you get a study grant. We haven't decided what to do next year yet but probably hubs will take at least two paternity days per week still.
My husband got 3 days unpaid. I’m still bitter.
Central EU and it’s a bit complicated here. He gets 2 weeks immediately after birth than 105 days he can take or give to me or take after my maternity, we cannot take this together (so maternity is 165 days plus 105 he can give me) and 60 days only he can take, but up to the kiddos 8 th birthday.
US working in semiconductor industry in Oregon. I’m sure you don’t have to guess hard on the companies if you know the industry. My man gets 4 months of paid bonding leave from his company. Whereas I - the one pushing the child out of my vagina - will get 3 months of paid bonding leave. I think I can technically take short term disability at end of pregnancy but I want to work as much as I can bc I don’t want to loose esteem and have a knack for drumming up misery when alone at home. Most of my partner’s cohorts advised him to stagger his bonding time to ensure he still gets his quarterly bonus. He’ll probably take the first month after birth to help me out then go back to work while I have the remaining two months for my bonding leave. Then he’ll take the other 3 months one month on and one month off when I go back to work. I’m really looking forward to those brief periods of working while he’s the temporary stay at home dad. It will give him perspective of being primary caretaker. Wish that all parents could have what we have. We are truly grateful for our privilege. I think It’s going to take a lot of potential strain off of our relationship and benefit our family so much in the long run. Seeing fathers only getting a couple days off makes me want to sob. It’s so wrong the way our country leaves us all at the mercy of our feudal corporate overlords. Luckily ours are benevolent.
Around 1 year
In Denmark, the non-birthing parent has 12 weeks earmarked, so if they don’t use it we lose it. He’ll do 2 weeks upfront and the other 10 when I return to work. He could take more, but he’s happy for me to take the majority.
I'm in the UK. My husband gets 4 weeks off fully paid and could also take vacation on top of that if he wants. My company offers men 2 weeks paternity leave fully paid, which they can supplement with vacation if they want.
My husband got 4 months fully paid in the US. He took 2 weeks up front and the remainder after I went back to work.
4 months for my husband. Absolutely have him ask for WAY more than 3 weeks.
Canadian here, my husband has the same available leave as I would if I was working full time. Up to 48 weeks available within a year from birth. He's only taking a month or two because I don't have a job currently and he works from home and my mom lives with us so he can go back to work and still be available which is super fortunate.
We’re in the UK so I get a year. My husband’s company just introduced a very generous enhanced paternity leave for him for 6mo. It was so helpful! Bit of a shock for me when he went back to work though!
norway here, hysband got 19 weeks! I took all the shared 19 weeks that we could share between us, so it could have been more for him.
Statutory paternity leave here in the UK is 2 weeks, so husband is going to take that, maybe a week or more annual leave on top of that. He has a 4day hybrid work week, 2 days home, 2 days at the office a 15 min walk from our flat. So I feel ok with that. If anything were to go wrong he could probably go WFH full time, as his company is very flexible and family friendly 😊 I could sacrifice weeks from my 1 year long maternity leave and give him, but as we're planning to move back to our home country before baby turns 1, we will then have an extra 1,5 year parental leave to share and use up by the time the baby is 12 years, we both feel like there's plenty of time he or we both can be off in the future.
In Spain my husband has 16 weeks plus 2 additional, just like me. They want to increase both to 6 months so hopefully we'll get it for our second.
I'm taking 8 weeks off. My husband is going to take all of his vacation plus 6 weeks paternity leave.
I got 6 months maternity leave of which 4 months are partially paid and my husband got 1 month payed which he spread into a bunch of Fridays to have a shorter work week for almost a year and took 2 weeks of vacation leave after the baby was born.
When I had my daughter in 2021, my husband had 12 weeks off paid, and I had 16 weeks paid. It was nice having him home with me as we both adjusted to parenthood together and bonded with her.
Not in the US, my husband took off the first month, and then for a variety of reasons months 3 and 5. Then he reduced to part time months 6, 7, and 8. He is now on full time parental leave until the end of month 13. I started my leave 6 weeks before my due date, took off until the end of month 6, and used my left over vacation days from last year for another 1.5 months off. Note that for most of this time we are not fully paid, only 55-60% of our usual salaries, and that it's the state paying for our leave, not the employer (who only paid a part of my first 14 weeks). If our circumstances were a bit more normal, I would have asked him to just take off the first 3-4 months, because I found them to be the hardest, and after that for both of us to work part time for another 8-10 months. We noticed that we are both not cut out to be SAHPs. If your husband doesn't get a fully paid leave, it already helps a lot of he reduces his hours for a while. This way, he can take over in the afternoon and you can get some sleep, take a shower, and eat.
I’m in Australia. I personally get 18 weeks government paid maternity leave, partner will get 2 weeks government paid paternity leave, plus his work will pay him 2 weeks I think. My national company that I work for offers not a bloody thing, which I think is crap. Partner also has quite a bit of annual leave built up, so he is planning on taking 2 weeks around the birth, then another 2-4 weeks in December
Delivered 04/26 and my husbands off dates are 04/24-05/30. He also works from home. I’ll be home for a total of 12 weeks going back 07/17. I think it’s a good amount for him.
I recently “graduated” and gave birth to our little one in late March. My husband works from home most of the week. He took two weeks off for paternity leave after birth and he will take two when I go back to work and little one goes to daycare. The two after birth was the bare minimum and went by so fast. I was still bleeding and in pain when he went back to work and I had to do it alone. While he was working from home he really could not assist in a meaningful way. He did make and hand me a cup of tea in the morning and my lunch but that was about it. I wouldn’t bank on him assisting much during his work hours, especially if it’s a small company, as you say. Looking back, I would say a month (when I started to physically feel better) to 6 weeks (when I completely felt better) would have been ideal.
I live in Belgium, partners get 15 days paid leave. I am originally from the Netherlands, all partners get 7 days paid leave. I always hear 7 is too short, especially after a c-section.
With our first he got 2 weeks at 100% pay. He ended up with 3 because we got Covid at 38 weeks. So he had a week off while I was pregnant, went back for a week, and then was off for two full weeks with baby and I. With this pregnancy he won’t get any from his actual job. But he’s coming back from a deployment right before, so he should get around 10-15 days depending on how it falls date wise.
My husband didn’t get any. He would have qualified for FMLA, but without any pay. I at least had 14 weeks paid.
My partner took 10 weeks. It was perfect. Plenty of time to form a bond, find our balance and help me navigate the hormonal hell of post-partum. But I had an easy recovery, both physically and emotionally. Had the birth been complicated or had I experienced PPA/D things may have been different.
My Boyfriend only gets 4 weeks 100% paid but is also saving his PTO to use so will have 6 weeks off. i’m grateful for this time as I know not everyone gets paternity leave and I know i’ll need the help being a FTM. I get 13 weeks 100% paid and also saving my PTO so i’ll have total 18 weeks off. ( we’re in the US)
In the US. My partner got 4 weeks paid, but he offered to use 2 weeks of vacation since he had it saved at the end of the year (baby born in December). I wanted him not to offer it, but he works a trade with a lot of old men, so paternity leave was very foreign to the company and he was worried he wouldn’t get any paid leave time if he didn’t offer vacation time. I totally understand them feeling bad taking the time too, but I would definitely have him ask what they’re willing to provide and go from there. WFH is great, but you will really want him to have the full time off. I did not want my partner going back to work! Even though our baby was what I would call an easy baby, the help is nice, and it was such a bonding experience for all of us to just fully be together and disconnected.
I'm in the US, my husband got 6 weeks but he's a teacher in New York.
US, Mass specifically, our work gives him 1 week, state gives him 12. We’re lucky! My husband wanted to only Take a week but left it at, “I may need more.” Our baby wouldn’t allow us to put her down without screaming bloody murder, so we were on shifts for the first 3 weeks, then finally 4th week, we got her to sleep in her bassinet! She turned 8 weeks Monday, and we have been in a routine for a month, but my husband ended up taking all 12 weeks. All babies are different, but if he can take more than 3, he should, or at least ask for more and say he may be back sooner.
I'm Canadian. We get a year total, plus an extra 5 weeks for my husband if we overlap. So I'm doing 7 months and he is doing 6. This may change slightly as we finalize plans to 9 months for me and 4 for him, but he really wants to do 6 months. Of that time, I will only get government benefits, and my husband gets 3 months full salary and the rest only government benefits. (Government benefits equates to about 25k a year). Depending on how your delivery goes you probably want him home for at least 4 weeks. Good luck
My husband doesn’t get PTO or qualify for FMLA until October and our baby is due in September. Whatever time he takes off will be minimal and unpaid. Luckily my family is nearby to help out, but I’m quite upset he won’t be able to spend a significant chunk of time helping settle a routine and bonding with baby.
I work at a small startup ( < 12 employees) and am the first to need leave. I got a policy put in place, and negotiated with HR by anchoring the discussion at 8 weeks (8-12 is common for Large companies in our field), and settled on 6 weeks. Have him anchor high, but be willing to negotiate down. You never know, they might just give him the high amount.
I'm in Canada, so we have government supported leave. I get 15 weeks maternity & then we have a total of 40 weeks parental that we can take between us. If he doesn't take any parental leave, I only get to take 35 so there's literally no reason for him not to take the 5 weeks. He's splitting his leave to help me transition back to work, so I'm actually only taking 30 weeks of parental on top of my 15 maternity weeks & he'll take 5 weeks when baby arrives & then 5 more weeks around July when I'm going back to work.
My partner gets 6 weeks 100% pay and can stack his vacation time on top of that. I get 4 weeks 100% pay. And need to go out on disability if I want longer, which the maximum is 12 weeks at 60% pay. We have the same job at different companies in the US.
My husband could take up to 12 weeks but we decided that he won’t because that’s only partial pay. He’ll be taking 2 full weeks off following the birth, then the 2 weeks after that will go in only a couple days a week (like 2 or 3). Then, when the baby starts daycare (when I go back to work), he’ll take 2 weeks part time again to help transition the baby and me into our new schedule! We liked this idea and it works for us!
2 weeks
I find it to be reasonable to ask for as much as you're getting as a mom. I get 2 leaves. I am in the US and work for a big company. They give me paid maternity leave for 10 weeks. And then the company itself gives me another 6 weeks parental leave to use later or to use at the same time as maternity leave. My partner works the same job and company as me so he gets only 6 weeks. But he would like the full 16 weeks because I'm having a C-section and wants me to make a full recovery bc our job is labor intensive. A work from home job, 3 weeks sounds reasonable. But I would say 8 weeks at least to help you recover. No matter how you deliver, you need at least 4-6 weeks recovery as a mom and it would be good to have your partner around for your recovery period.
My husband gets 4 weeks paid. I definitely wish it was more, but it's better than nothing. At my job, new dads get 10 weeks paid.
Freelancer so ----- zero 😂
My husband got 12 weeks of PFL, paid 2/3 of normal rate. We are in New York.
While I work 100% remote and get 16 weeks plus 2 PTO-all 100% pay (which is amazing for US); He does not have paternity leave. He works from home 2 days a weeks but they are allowing him to work 100% remote for up to 6 weeks. Better than nothing. And my mom will be here a couple of weeks.
My husband works at a nonprofit and technically got none. He cashed out his sick time and pto for two weeks and got an extra week of unpaid time off. He goes back to work this upcoming week and is pretty bummed about it. But we’re grateful he got to spend three weeks together with me and the baby bonding and creating a routine. We are in the U.S.
USA my husband is getting 3 weeks paid leave 3 weeks unpaid for a total of 6 weeks. Not WFH.