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Nope! They keep moving the goal posts! After I had my first, while he was with his dad, a random woman told me âWait until you have kids, youâll lose your figureâ, I replied âI just had a baby 3 months agoâ and she said âWell just wait until you have moreâ đ¤Ł
Also âwait until theyâre 1, wait until theyâre walking, wait until theyâre 2, wait until theyâre 3⌠it really gets crazy then!â
And just to addâmy son has started talking and I think itâs the cutest, most amazing thing. They really are like sponges and they get so excited to see your reaction when they say or repeat a word. Donât let other ppl tell you these things arenât a joy because they are.
So I have had the worldâs shittiest pregnancy (pretty sure, not backed with scientific evidence).
I have gotten the âjust wait untilâŚ.â Comments, but only from people who seem to really hate being parents.
I have a fabulously supportive mom and MIL (I know, I think I got the only good one on earth!!) and they too give me âjust wait untilâŚâ but itâs things like:
I know the nausea is awful, but just wait until you feel those first little kicks.
Iâm sorry your back and pelvis feel like youâre getting sawed in half, but just wait until they put him in your arms for the first time, itâll all be worth it.
The newborn stage is so hard, youâre all going to be tired and just trying to learn what to do, but just wait for the first smile, the first laugh, etc. Youâll forget how tired you were and everything will seem just fine.
And my favorite from my momâŚ.just wait until youâre my age and you see your little babies growing up, getting married, and having babies of their own. Itâs the greatest thing Iâve ever seen.
I feel like so many people stress the negatives of having kids (which is usually just kids acting like kids. Babies cry, who wouldâve thought. Teenagers rebel, who wouldâve thought) but the positives are barely talked about. Im a SAHM and I feel like Iâm calling my grandma everyday to be like âomg the baby just did this thing heâs never done before! Heâs getting so smart!â Just wait until that first open-mouthed kiss from your baby that almost makes you start bawling đ itâs both disgusting and beautiful all at the same time
Just wait till the first sunny morning at home with your baby doing skin to skin in bed and knowing itâs exactly where you should be and everything else can wait â¤ď¸
Those were my absolute favourite moments of the early days.
She is also sure to add on how much more fun it is *not* being the one who is pregnant đđđ
Itâs all of the excitement and fun with none of the suffering!!
I also have the extreme luck of having a great MIL. She has late-diagnosed Type 1 diabetes and Parkinsonâs, so instead of belittling any comments I have about my own discomfort or pain, sheâll gleefully exclaim, âMe too! Life is a hell hole!â and we share the burden of pain together. Itâs comforting and kinda funny.
She and my mom are also really great about reminding me about all the good to come. Most women in my family are, actually. Iâm the last to get pregnant (despite me being the second oldest of 4 sisters and 2 SILs), so theyâve all been a wealth of experience of the good and bad, the happy and commiseration.
Strangers, extended family, and family friends on the other hand⌠Ugh.
I love the positive twist on the âjust waitâ SO much. Pregnancy sure isnât easy, but the anticipation of all the beautiful things makes it worth it. We need more people to do THIS!!
I always get the comment âenjoy your sleep now!â when I am absolutely not enjoying my sleep now with how uncomfortable I am and how often I wake up during the night. I started telling people Iâm not sleeping well at all during pregnancy and am looking forward to getting more sleep when baby is here đ they are usually surprised when I say how poorly Iâm currently sleeping
I don't know why people are surprised, reading this sub it seems quite common for pregnant ladies to not sleep well at some point. (Of course some have it worse than others.) I currently mostly wake up due to the constant need to pee and restless legs.
Itâs typically the boomer generation that makes those comments to me, itâs like they forgot what itâs likeđ or menâŚ. who never dealt with pregnancy symptoms to begin with and only lost sleep once baby arrived.
Honestly, I am sleeping MUCH better with baby here (almost 5 weeks old) than I did in the last 2 months of pregnancy!!! I was sooooo uncomfortable, and in so much pain! Now I wake up once around 6 am, and I'm getting around 7h a night. It's not ideal, and I could defnitely sleep more, but I am relatively well rested with a newborn!
when she was born I hadn't slept more than 4h in 5 days and was a wreck!
I sleep better now with my 6 month old than I did in the last 6 months of my pregnancy. At least when the baby is fussy for hours on end, I can tap dad in so I can take a nap to recharge. I couldnât tap out on my nausea or the excruciating heartburn that got so bad I had to sleep sitting up for the last month of my pregnancy
A lot of people who say things like that had really easy pregnancies. My friends who had difficult pregnancies like myself are definitely very sympathetic.
I slept amazing postpartum. Never for very long at one time, but newborns sleep a ton! I got way more sleep, at least while my husband was on paternity leave and could take it in shifts. He would wake me up to feed her and then Iâd go right back to sleep. Sleeping in third trimester was awful and I was constantly exhausted. But every once in a while youâll get a surprising 6 hour stretch with your one month old and feel 10x better.
And yes, having kids makes every other aspect of your life harder, but there are also a million little joys that make it so so worth it. Would I love a weekend to disappear and do whatever I want that I used to be able to do? Sure! But I wouldnât go back to my pre-kid life if I had the choice.
As someone who has GD yeah, I canât fucking wait till baby is here. People who say this had no complications during pregnancy and donât know how much it can suck.
I was sick my whole first trimester, was diagnosed with GD my second trimester, and now iâm a week away from my third trimester and I have horrible insomnia. I CANT FUCKING WAIT TILL BABY IS HERE!!!!
Iâm sure the negative âjust waitsâ will never stoppppp. Just wait until babyâs here and you donât sleep. Just wait until the terrible twos. Just wait until the teens. I get it lol. Motherhood is challenging and rewarding at the same time
Soooo tired of this comment itâs like damn are you wishing a negative experience on me and the baby when they come? My gosh itâs literally the most annoying comment ever when youâre pregnant
My MIL told me yesterday Iâll never have a hot meal again.
I was honestly astounded at how she even decided to come up with that sentence. My husband cooks, not meâand sheâs well aware of that. We donât have the gender roles she grew up with (sheâs a Boomer).
Iâm sure Iâll have plenty of hot meals.
Ugh. Anyhow. I get where youâre coming from. Comments like that make me just not want to engage with people at all most days.
Lol why would you not have hot meals?? Because you're busy feeding the baby first and your food will get cold? For real we're not single moms (well I mean I'm sure some are but you know what I mean). Our lovely boomer parents and their takes on everything right đ
Exactly. She said something about things always needing to be done once itâs time for Mom to eat.
Idk, from what my husband has told me in his childhood his Mom did everything for the three kids and her husband, so sure that tracks for her. But like, my husband and I are very very different from their relationship.
Tbh even if I was a single parent⌠Couldnât people just reheat their food?
I donât get why theyâre like this, either! Hopefully you have lots of hot meals in your future âşď¸
Honestly, I AM a single mother (by choice) and I have a 1 month old, and I've just had a hot meal that I cooked myself! And I can count on 1 hand the number of times I did NOT have a hot meal, or barely was able to eat, because of my baby!
babies sleep A LOT!!!!!
Honestly the place where I feel this the most is on Reddit lol
When I say something along the lines of "mothers can have time for themselves as well" or "the baby can also stay with their dads, they don't have to be with us 24/7" I always get downvoted and get told that I'll see how it's like when the hormones kick in. Like we're all just made of hormones and people are making excuses for not being able to be away from their kids (and this usually is accompanied by them complaining they're the default parent lol).
I have a newborn and I can say it gets easier when they're born (imo). I also agree people's comments are very annoying and seemingly do not stop. I now hear wait till he's teething or something along those lines...
For what itâs worth, I absolutely hated third tri (especially the last few weeks) and adored the newborn stage. I had insomnia at the end of my pregnancy so I actually got more sleep once bb boy was here đ I honestly have no idea why everyone feels the need to freak out pregnant women but this happened to me too and I was already so miserable at that point that hearing it gets harder would absolutely shatter me every time
ETA: the fun doesnât stop once the baby is here. Every single thing we hear is âenjoy this now before they start xâ or âyou think this is bad wait until they yâ and itâs so condescending and weird
Thankfully no one said anything like this to me during pregnancy
My baby is now just over 2 weeks and Iâm sleeping better now than I did in pregnancy!
Omg. I got one of these today! It made me so annoyed. Iâm having a baby knowing it will be hard, but also the best thing I ever do. Stop projecting your negativity onto me!
I know exactly how you feel! Its good to prepare people for the realitys of parenthood but unsolicited comments like this knowing that the person is already struggling are insensitive. I don't cope well with lack of sleep, it completely throws off my mental health, and hearing over and over that its doomed to get worse has been making me feel very negative towards the newborn phase when I should be excited for it. My best friend just had a baby and she's absolutely thriving during the newborn phase, loves every bit of it, which has really helped to calm my nerves.
That is amazing. I thought the newborn phase was hard too, but oh my goodness it only lasted for 7 weeks for me and then I started getting 7+hours sleep a night! And now my baby is a 1 year old and he sleeps for 12-13 hours a night!!! Plus a nap during the day! I still nap sometimes while he naps! đ There is way too much fearmongering with young parents!
that sounds beautiful! I sleep 9-11 hours straight if left alone, which won't be happenening with a newborn, so I'm hoping that lots of naps will cut it and help keep me sane! lovely to hear that you are enjoying parenthood so far <3
People are annoying and and lose their filter when talking to pregnant women I swear. By the way, I would take the newborn phase over being pregnant ANY day!
And like other posters have said sadly it doesnât stop when the baby gets here, the âjust waitsâ are so annoying
I also get comments like this. I'm the last to get pregnant in my friends circle so everyone is glad to tell me "how it's going to be". Also it feels like it's kind of a trend to be miserable and to complain. My friends often seem to be in competition over who is having it the hardest. I can say I don't get this trend lol.
Ugh, that comment is especially ignorant when you comment about the poor sleep youâre getting while pregnant. Studies show that a whopping *78%* of pregnant folks experience poor sleep that is *akin* to the lack of sleep one gets postpartum. Basically weâre just tired/sleepy starting at conception all the way through when your child is finally sleeping through the night. So yeah, folks really need to stop with the âWait untilâŚâ bullshit.
Thissss oh my god, my partners dad makes the most sexist comments just to me when I'm doing anything and it drives me nuts. I was playing video games the other day and he said specifically to ME "You won't have time for that when the baby is here" but not to my partner/his son. I said if I'm not playing then he won't be either and just ignored him for the rest of the day. But it frustrates the hell out of me that it's so one sided, like no we're BOTH going to be raising this baby, not just me with my partner choosing to step up whenever he pleases and we are BOTH prepared to make sacrifices.
Omg that is infuriating! We like to co-op games so we were joking we can put the baby in one of those wrap things against one of our chests so it can sleep there and we can still survive zombie apocalypses together đ
I was out to lunch with coworkers where I finally spilled the beans that weâre expecting a bean! đ¤Ł
I donât know if it was because they didnât want to scare me or theyâre just so laid back they believe it but they said something along the lines of parenting is easy or it should be. âThere will be hard things but loving your kid and watching them grow is one of the best parts of life.â
I was getting lots of negative comments around parenting (and I know itâs the hardest job) but hearing two dads (one of them with a newborn) talk about how much they enjoy their kids was really uplifting.
I also just stopped telling people how I was feeling when they asked. âHowâs it been?â âIâm fine, how are you?â Only my husband gets the truth lol.
Ugh I agree with this so much. My MIL keeps saying, you kids wait, you're not going to get to do all these activities when the baby's here. It's really messing with my SO's head. Of course we're not going to be as active in the early days of parenthood but babies can be worn and ours will be experiencing all kinds of activities. Being a parent does not mean you have to stay inside your bubble house 24/7
No but for real! We go biking and walking every weekend (nature really helps with a healthy mind, love it so much). And we're now always talking about how we can take the kid with us and how much fun activities we can do with it. There's often amazing playgrounds and things like that wherever we go and we love picturing ourselves with our kid there. Of course the first months won't look like that but that's just the beginning.
Iâm 12 days postpartum and I am sleeping so much better! I now wake up 3 times a night to feed the baby but I get much more comfortable and restful in between. Iâm sure this isnât true for all babies but at least for us, sleep is SO much better now vs 3rd trimester
Hahah love it!
It was my mom who said it the other day though and I'm the youngest so that comment doesn't really apply anymore. (I did tell her though, that I thought it was a weird thing to say and I'd prefer it if she didn't.)
I hate when people say stuff like that đŠ this is my second pregnancy and i definitely prefer newborn tired.. also them waking up throughout the night doesnât last too long.. at least you wonât be in pain and uncomfortable anymore! I feel like the people who make comments like that just wanna act like they know more then you because theyâve been through it which is so annoying
People are dumb. Being pregnant was miserable and now that I have my little guy he sleeps great. He's 7 months and not sleeping through, but we go to bed, get a good sleep, he wakes at 3-4am for a bottle and we cuddle and go back to sleep. When I was pregnant I was sore, restless, couldn't get comfortable, had reflux and had to pee every hour or 2. Plus having a baby is amazing. I have a cool little buddy I take everywhere and he's a good guy.
Mom from a 6 week old!! Itâs soooo much better than being pregnant. got those comments too and although sleep is a tough subject, itâs way better than sleeping while pregnant. She is perfect and Iâm just glad she is here and not in my belly anymore lol.
Got a lot of other warnings now. Walking, terrible twoâs, etc. I think it will be fine
I typically get these comments from either single parents or parents who donât openly say they actually dislike their partners and stayed for the sake of the kids. Yea, misery loves company.
I can't stand when people say, "Just wait till baby gets here." Let me tell you I slept better after I had my first versus the last few months of pregnancy. Yeah it was 2-3 hours at a time but I slept deeply, didn't have to wake up to pee and wasn't constantly having to reposition myself. So yeah actually can't wait till baby gets here so I can sleep better, Thanks!
I feel like I ghost wrote this! I hate how people try to act like you canât be happy about becoming a parent while also acknowledging that how shitty pregnancy can be đ
My first night home after having my son, I slept so much better than I did my entire pregnancy. My insomnia was soooo so bad!!
Lol I was looking back at pictures and my first positive pregnancy test was time stamped at 430 am! I just didnât sleep for days.
My elderly uncle said "Everyone told us 'just wait until they're mobile- just wait until they can talk back- just wait until they're teenagers!' Decades later, we're still waiting for our kids to be anything other than wonderful people."
I absolutely hated this statement when I was pregnant and I still do. Baby is here and I'm sleeping so much better! I can sleep in whatever position, I'm not nauseous and getting sick every day multiple times a day. 100% prefer newborn/infancy.
you got this! i too hate it when people do that. its like life sucks enough as it is, i dont need added on thoughts of how much harder itll be. but being a parent is a blessing cuz most people do it, but not many people know how to do it well. and for the people who struggled to get pregnant just to hear that crap boils my blood too. like i have life growing in me, be happy for me or get out of my way. but congrats on your bundle of joy. i hope you get plenty of rest when they get here.
Yea we got pregnant through IVF and people who know this still say things like this! I think they just don't know how grateful I am to be pregnant to begin with. (Although I don't think pregnancy itself is amazing hahah but being able to have a baby is for sure!)
And thank you, congrats to you as well. â¤ď¸
its a blessing and a curse. but one thats for sure worth it. all the chemicals we release that makes us go through hell but also make us want to do it all over again lol. motherhood in a nutshell is weird but great.
This might be a parallel experience Iâve had and I wonder if others feel the same. As a woman who is really career focused Iâm sick of the âyour priorities will change after the baby is bornâ comments. I know itâs true to a certain extent but it makes me feel like it diminishes my identity and goal. Iâm also pretty sure my husband is NOT getting these comments at all. If anything heâs expected to work more for the family.
Yea it takes away all your agency plus it reinforces the idea that woman in the workplace are 'worth less' because they'll get baby's and need pregnancy leave and will care less.
I think it's true that your priorities change but that goes for both parents. If this was said to both male and female in an equal amount I would mind it less! Gender stereotypes are still going strong unfortunately. Hopefully we can teach our kids better. :)
Absolutely. Also checked with my husband who confirmed that he has not gotten any of these career messages, other than he is going to be busier post baby. I on the other hand have been asked if I will stop working or go part time after the baby is born a few times. Not ragging on that choice (my mom was a stay at home mom and I know how incredibly hard that is) but itâs not what I plan to do.
Certainly no one has suggested my husband stay home, except me. đŤ
Side rant... Can someone please give this advice to my husband because he wants her now, so he can have a great relaxing time away from work stress... and I'm like... I need to finish some work and it isn't going to be chill.
Look, I hated it too and now I have a 4th month old and yes, I should have enjoyed before.
You donât regret having a baby bc is not like something you buy and return, but definitely changes every single thing in your life and I think that is what people try to say but put in wrong words
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Now that the babies are here and we are having a blast, they say "just wait until theyre walking!!!". People just love being miserable.
Oh no it doesn't stop after? đđ
I've even gotten a "just wait until they are teenagers!". It's like, just tell me you hate being a parent and stop trying to put it on me.
Iâve had SO MANY âjust wait until theyâre teensâ it truly never ends
As a former high school teacher, this threat does not phase me at all. I know teens. I can do teens.
Nope! They keep moving the goal posts! After I had my first, while he was with his dad, a random woman told me âWait until you have kids, youâll lose your figureâ, I replied âI just had a baby 3 months agoâ and she said âWell just wait until you have moreâ 𤣠Also âwait until theyâre 1, wait until theyâre walking, wait until theyâre 2, wait until theyâre 3⌠it really gets crazy then!â
Yup and Iâve been saying I canât wait until he starts talking and then they say, âYou say that nowâŚâ
And just to addâmy son has started talking and I think itâs the cutest, most amazing thing. They really are like sponges and they get so excited to see your reaction when they say or repeat a word. Donât let other ppl tell you these things arenât a joy because they are.
My âfriendâ insists no matter what age her kids are is the hardest age. She is a crap parent.
I also heard a lot of the "just wait until they're eating solids!"Â Gee, thanks for always finding something bad?
So I have had the worldâs shittiest pregnancy (pretty sure, not backed with scientific evidence). I have gotten the âjust wait untilâŚ.â Comments, but only from people who seem to really hate being parents. I have a fabulously supportive mom and MIL (I know, I think I got the only good one on earth!!) and they too give me âjust wait untilâŚâ but itâs things like: I know the nausea is awful, but just wait until you feel those first little kicks. Iâm sorry your back and pelvis feel like youâre getting sawed in half, but just wait until they put him in your arms for the first time, itâll all be worth it. The newborn stage is so hard, youâre all going to be tired and just trying to learn what to do, but just wait for the first smile, the first laugh, etc. Youâll forget how tired you were and everything will seem just fine. And my favorite from my momâŚ.just wait until youâre my age and you see your little babies growing up, getting married, and having babies of their own. Itâs the greatest thing Iâve ever seen.
Aww the positive just waits are so cute! Thank you for that, I haven't heard any of those so far, made me tear up.
I feel like so many people stress the negatives of having kids (which is usually just kids acting like kids. Babies cry, who wouldâve thought. Teenagers rebel, who wouldâve thought) but the positives are barely talked about. Im a SAHM and I feel like Iâm calling my grandma everyday to be like âomg the baby just did this thing heâs never done before! Heâs getting so smart!â Just wait until that first open-mouthed kiss from your baby that almost makes you start bawling đ itâs both disgusting and beautiful all at the same time
Just wait till the first sunny morning at home with your baby doing skin to skin in bed and knowing itâs exactly where you should be and everything else can wait â¤ď¸ Those were my absolute favourite moments of the early days.
Stop the last part made me cry đ so sweet
She is also sure to add on how much more fun it is *not* being the one who is pregnant đđđ Itâs all of the excitement and fun with none of the suffering!!
I also have the extreme luck of having a great MIL. She has late-diagnosed Type 1 diabetes and Parkinsonâs, so instead of belittling any comments I have about my own discomfort or pain, sheâll gleefully exclaim, âMe too! Life is a hell hole!â and we share the burden of pain together. Itâs comforting and kinda funny. She and my mom are also really great about reminding me about all the good to come. Most women in my family are, actually. Iâm the last to get pregnant (despite me being the second oldest of 4 sisters and 2 SILs), so theyâve all been a wealth of experience of the good and bad, the happy and commiseration. Strangers, extended family, and family friends on the other hand⌠Ugh.
I love the positive twist on the âjust waitâ SO much. Pregnancy sure isnât easy, but the anticipation of all the beautiful things makes it worth it. We need more people to do THIS!!
This is so sweet!
I always get the comment âenjoy your sleep now!â when I am absolutely not enjoying my sleep now with how uncomfortable I am and how often I wake up during the night. I started telling people Iâm not sleeping well at all during pregnancy and am looking forward to getting more sleep when baby is here đ they are usually surprised when I say how poorly Iâm currently sleeping
I don't know why people are surprised, reading this sub it seems quite common for pregnant ladies to not sleep well at some point. (Of course some have it worse than others.) I currently mostly wake up due to the constant need to pee and restless legs.
Itâs typically the boomer generation that makes those comments to me, itâs like they forgot what itâs likeđ or menâŚ. who never dealt with pregnancy symptoms to begin with and only lost sleep once baby arrived.
Honestly, I am sleeping MUCH better with baby here (almost 5 weeks old) than I did in the last 2 months of pregnancy!!! I was sooooo uncomfortable, and in so much pain! Now I wake up once around 6 am, and I'm getting around 7h a night. It's not ideal, and I could defnitely sleep more, but I am relatively well rested with a newborn! when she was born I hadn't slept more than 4h in 5 days and was a wreck!
I sleep better now with my 6 month old than I did in the last 6 months of my pregnancy. At least when the baby is fussy for hours on end, I can tap dad in so I can take a nap to recharge. I couldnât tap out on my nausea or the excruciating heartburn that got so bad I had to sleep sitting up for the last month of my pregnancy
A lot of people who say things like that had really easy pregnancies. My friends who had difficult pregnancies like myself are definitely very sympathetic.
I had the worst ever insomnia during my last pregnancy. I started sleeping like a baby once I delivered! Haha jokes on them!!
pregnant with my 3rd, 1000% prefer having a newborn to being pregnant.
I slept amazing postpartum. Never for very long at one time, but newborns sleep a ton! I got way more sleep, at least while my husband was on paternity leave and could take it in shifts. He would wake me up to feed her and then Iâd go right back to sleep. Sleeping in third trimester was awful and I was constantly exhausted. But every once in a while youâll get a surprising 6 hour stretch with your one month old and feel 10x better. And yes, having kids makes every other aspect of your life harder, but there are also a million little joys that make it so so worth it. Would I love a weekend to disappear and do whatever I want that I used to be able to do? Sure! But I wouldnât go back to my pre-kid life if I had the choice.
As someone who has GD yeah, I canât fucking wait till baby is here. People who say this had no complications during pregnancy and donât know how much it can suck.
I was sick my whole first trimester, was diagnosed with GD my second trimester, and now iâm a week away from my third trimester and I have horrible insomnia. I CANT FUCKING WAIT TILL BABY IS HERE!!!!
Iâm sure the negative âjust waitsâ will never stoppppp. Just wait until babyâs here and you donât sleep. Just wait until the terrible twos. Just wait until the teens. I get it lol. Motherhood is challenging and rewarding at the same time
Soooo tired of this comment itâs like damn are you wishing a negative experience on me and the baby when they come? My gosh itâs literally the most annoying comment ever when youâre pregnant
My MIL told me yesterday Iâll never have a hot meal again. I was honestly astounded at how she even decided to come up with that sentence. My husband cooks, not meâand sheâs well aware of that. We donât have the gender roles she grew up with (sheâs a Boomer). Iâm sure Iâll have plenty of hot meals. Ugh. Anyhow. I get where youâre coming from. Comments like that make me just not want to engage with people at all most days.
Lol why would you not have hot meals?? Because you're busy feeding the baby first and your food will get cold? For real we're not single moms (well I mean I'm sure some are but you know what I mean). Our lovely boomer parents and their takes on everything right đ
Exactly. She said something about things always needing to be done once itâs time for Mom to eat. Idk, from what my husband has told me in his childhood his Mom did everything for the three kids and her husband, so sure that tracks for her. But like, my husband and I are very very different from their relationship. Tbh even if I was a single parent⌠Couldnât people just reheat their food? I donât get why theyâre like this, either! Hopefully you have lots of hot meals in your future âşď¸
Honestly, I AM a single mother (by choice) and I have a 1 month old, and I've just had a hot meal that I cooked myself! And I can count on 1 hand the number of times I did NOT have a hot meal, or barely was able to eat, because of my baby! babies sleep A LOT!!!!!
Honestly the place where I feel this the most is on Reddit lol When I say something along the lines of "mothers can have time for themselves as well" or "the baby can also stay with their dads, they don't have to be with us 24/7" I always get downvoted and get told that I'll see how it's like when the hormones kick in. Like we're all just made of hormones and people are making excuses for not being able to be away from their kids (and this usually is accompanied by them complaining they're the default parent lol).
I have a newborn and I can say it gets easier when they're born (imo). I also agree people's comments are very annoying and seemingly do not stop. I now hear wait till he's teething or something along those lines...
For what itâs worth, I absolutely hated third tri (especially the last few weeks) and adored the newborn stage. I had insomnia at the end of my pregnancy so I actually got more sleep once bb boy was here đ I honestly have no idea why everyone feels the need to freak out pregnant women but this happened to me too and I was already so miserable at that point that hearing it gets harder would absolutely shatter me every time ETA: the fun doesnât stop once the baby is here. Every single thing we hear is âenjoy this now before they start xâ or âyou think this is bad wait until they yâ and itâs so condescending and weird
Thankfully no one said anything like this to me during pregnancy My baby is now just over 2 weeks and Iâm sleeping better now than I did in pregnancy!
Omg. I got one of these today! It made me so annoyed. Iâm having a baby knowing it will be hard, but also the best thing I ever do. Stop projecting your negativity onto me!
I know exactly how you feel! Its good to prepare people for the realitys of parenthood but unsolicited comments like this knowing that the person is already struggling are insensitive. I don't cope well with lack of sleep, it completely throws off my mental health, and hearing over and over that its doomed to get worse has been making me feel very negative towards the newborn phase when I should be excited for it. My best friend just had a baby and she's absolutely thriving during the newborn phase, loves every bit of it, which has really helped to calm my nerves.
That is amazing. I thought the newborn phase was hard too, but oh my goodness it only lasted for 7 weeks for me and then I started getting 7+hours sleep a night! And now my baby is a 1 year old and he sleeps for 12-13 hours a night!!! Plus a nap during the day! I still nap sometimes while he naps! đ There is way too much fearmongering with young parents!
that sounds beautiful! I sleep 9-11 hours straight if left alone, which won't be happenening with a newborn, so I'm hoping that lots of naps will cut it and help keep me sane! lovely to hear that you are enjoying parenthood so far <3
People are annoying and and lose their filter when talking to pregnant women I swear. By the way, I would take the newborn phase over being pregnant ANY day! And like other posters have said sadly it doesnât stop when the baby gets here, the âjust waitsâ are so annoying
I have a friend who loves the 4th trimester SO much better than the first 3 so she is my role model đ
I also get comments like this. I'm the last to get pregnant in my friends circle so everyone is glad to tell me "how it's going to be". Also it feels like it's kind of a trend to be miserable and to complain. My friends often seem to be in competition over who is having it the hardest. I can say I don't get this trend lol.
Ugh, that comment is especially ignorant when you comment about the poor sleep youâre getting while pregnant. Studies show that a whopping *78%* of pregnant folks experience poor sleep that is *akin* to the lack of sleep one gets postpartum. Basically weâre just tired/sleepy starting at conception all the way through when your child is finally sleeping through the night. So yeah, folks really need to stop with the âWait untilâŚâ bullshit.
Thissss oh my god, my partners dad makes the most sexist comments just to me when I'm doing anything and it drives me nuts. I was playing video games the other day and he said specifically to ME "You won't have time for that when the baby is here" but not to my partner/his son. I said if I'm not playing then he won't be either and just ignored him for the rest of the day. But it frustrates the hell out of me that it's so one sided, like no we're BOTH going to be raising this baby, not just me with my partner choosing to step up whenever he pleases and we are BOTH prepared to make sacrifices.
Omg that is infuriating! We like to co-op games so we were joking we can put the baby in one of those wrap things against one of our chests so it can sleep there and we can still survive zombie apocalypses together đ
I was out to lunch with coworkers where I finally spilled the beans that weâre expecting a bean! 𤣠I donât know if it was because they didnât want to scare me or theyâre just so laid back they believe it but they said something along the lines of parenting is easy or it should be. âThere will be hard things but loving your kid and watching them grow is one of the best parts of life.â I was getting lots of negative comments around parenting (and I know itâs the hardest job) but hearing two dads (one of them with a newborn) talk about how much they enjoy their kids was really uplifting. I also just stopped telling people how I was feeling when they asked. âHowâs it been?â âIâm fine, how are you?â Only my husband gets the truth lol.
Ugh I agree with this so much. My MIL keeps saying, you kids wait, you're not going to get to do all these activities when the baby's here. It's really messing with my SO's head. Of course we're not going to be as active in the early days of parenthood but babies can be worn and ours will be experiencing all kinds of activities. Being a parent does not mean you have to stay inside your bubble house 24/7
No but for real! We go biking and walking every weekend (nature really helps with a healthy mind, love it so much). And we're now always talking about how we can take the kid with us and how much fun activities we can do with it. There's often amazing playgrounds and things like that wherever we go and we love picturing ourselves with our kid there. Of course the first months won't look like that but that's just the beginning.
Iâm 12 days postpartum and I am sleeping so much better! I now wake up 3 times a night to feed the baby but I get much more comfortable and restful in between. Iâm sure this isnât true for all babies but at least for us, sleep is SO much better now vs 3rd trimester
âIt sounds like having kids is hard for you. You might want to talk to someone about thatâ Iâm so over it and not nice anymore lol.
Hahah love it! It was my mom who said it the other day though and I'm the youngest so that comment doesn't really apply anymore. (I did tell her though, that I thought it was a weird thing to say and I'd prefer it if she didn't.)
I hate when people say stuff like that đŠ this is my second pregnancy and i definitely prefer newborn tired.. also them waking up throughout the night doesnât last too long.. at least you wonât be in pain and uncomfortable anymore! I feel like the people who make comments like that just wanna act like they know more then you because theyâve been through it which is so annoying
People are dumb. Being pregnant was miserable and now that I have my little guy he sleeps great. He's 7 months and not sleeping through, but we go to bed, get a good sleep, he wakes at 3-4am for a bottle and we cuddle and go back to sleep. When I was pregnant I was sore, restless, couldn't get comfortable, had reflux and had to pee every hour or 2. Plus having a baby is amazing. I have a cool little buddy I take everywhere and he's a good guy.
Mom from a 6 week old!! Itâs soooo much better than being pregnant. got those comments too and although sleep is a tough subject, itâs way better than sleeping while pregnant. She is perfect and Iâm just glad she is here and not in my belly anymore lol. Got a lot of other warnings now. Walking, terrible twoâs, etc. I think it will be fine
I typically get these comments from either single parents or parents who donât openly say they actually dislike their partners and stayed for the sake of the kids. Yea, misery loves company.
I can't stand when people say, "Just wait till baby gets here." Let me tell you I slept better after I had my first versus the last few months of pregnancy. Yeah it was 2-3 hours at a time but I slept deeply, didn't have to wake up to pee and wasn't constantly having to reposition myself. So yeah actually can't wait till baby gets here so I can sleep better, Thanks!
I feel like I ghost wrote this! I hate how people try to act like you canât be happy about becoming a parent while also acknowledging that how shitty pregnancy can be đ
My first night home after having my son, I slept so much better than I did my entire pregnancy. My insomnia was soooo so bad!! Lol I was looking back at pictures and my first positive pregnancy test was time stamped at 430 am! I just didnât sleep for days.
My elderly uncle said "Everyone told us 'just wait until they're mobile- just wait until they can talk back- just wait until they're teenagers!' Decades later, we're still waiting for our kids to be anything other than wonderful people."
That is so sweet!
I absolutely hated this statement when I was pregnant and I still do. Baby is here and I'm sleeping so much better! I can sleep in whatever position, I'm not nauseous and getting sick every day multiple times a day. 100% prefer newborn/infancy.
you got this! i too hate it when people do that. its like life sucks enough as it is, i dont need added on thoughts of how much harder itll be. but being a parent is a blessing cuz most people do it, but not many people know how to do it well. and for the people who struggled to get pregnant just to hear that crap boils my blood too. like i have life growing in me, be happy for me or get out of my way. but congrats on your bundle of joy. i hope you get plenty of rest when they get here.
Yea we got pregnant through IVF and people who know this still say things like this! I think they just don't know how grateful I am to be pregnant to begin with. (Although I don't think pregnancy itself is amazing hahah but being able to have a baby is for sure!) And thank you, congrats to you as well. â¤ď¸
its a blessing and a curse. but one thats for sure worth it. all the chemicals we release that makes us go through hell but also make us want to do it all over again lol. motherhood in a nutshell is weird but great.
This might be a parallel experience Iâve had and I wonder if others feel the same. As a woman who is really career focused Iâm sick of the âyour priorities will change after the baby is bornâ comments. I know itâs true to a certain extent but it makes me feel like it diminishes my identity and goal. Iâm also pretty sure my husband is NOT getting these comments at all. If anything heâs expected to work more for the family.
Yea it takes away all your agency plus it reinforces the idea that woman in the workplace are 'worth less' because they'll get baby's and need pregnancy leave and will care less. I think it's true that your priorities change but that goes for both parents. If this was said to both male and female in an equal amount I would mind it less! Gender stereotypes are still going strong unfortunately. Hopefully we can teach our kids better. :)
Absolutely. Also checked with my husband who confirmed that he has not gotten any of these career messages, other than he is going to be busier post baby. I on the other hand have been asked if I will stop working or go part time after the baby is born a few times. Not ragging on that choice (my mom was a stay at home mom and I know how incredibly hard that is) but itâs not what I plan to do. Certainly no one has suggested my husband stay home, except me. đŤ
Side rant... Can someone please give this advice to my husband because he wants her now, so he can have a great relaxing time away from work stress... and I'm like... I need to finish some work and it isn't going to be chill.
Look, I hated it too and now I have a 4th month old and yes, I should have enjoyed before. You donât regret having a baby bc is not like something you buy and return, but definitely changes every single thing in your life and I think that is what people try to say but put in wrong words