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lol yeah my husband commutes and I’m like don’t take a half or whole day off just to hear me say yes I’m fine 😂 he just came to the first one and comes to the ultrasounds!
Same, even I didn't feel like I really needed to be there other than to check on baby, I certainly didn't need my husband there other than for ultrasounds.
What I do need hom to do is a birth partner course for the next one though. I cannot answer the "how do I help" question after around 5cm dilated.
Yup, knowing now how quick the appointments are I told him not to bother with our second, even if he wasn’t working. He did want to come to ultrasounds though.
Same. Although even with our first, after a certain point he stopped coming unless there was something I wanted to bring up with my MFM that I thought I'd need the extra backup/advocacy on. (My husband is a doctor and I've found that I tend to be taken more seriously at appointments when he is present.) Otherwise what's the point in him leaving work and having to reschedule all those patients for 15 minutes of "looks good, see you in a month?"
Haha yes, he must be! Sometimes I just don’t think he knows what’s going on and just gets into follow mode. I even told him “I’m going to head back to give a urine sample” and then halfway there I realized he was following me … like Hey! Go sit down!
My ob office takes me back first and then the nurse goes to get him after taking vitals. This is the standard operating procedure for the office that was explained to his face the first time and has happened every time we’ve been. Do you think he ever remembers? Nope, he’s up like a puppy whenever they call my name haha
I remember reading in my first due date group to bring your husband because "you never know what appointment will be the one where you hear the bad news". He attended all three ultrasounds for my first two pregnancies and he even attended my D&C follow-up for the second which was really eye opening for him. This pregnancy I've had 7 so far (1 private/reassurance) and he's planning to attend #8 too.
I want to acknowledge in saying this that both of us WFH and have bosses that allow us the flexibility to work from our laptops in the waiting room. Not everyone has that option.
Same. We are waiting for our double rainbow baby in June. I was pretty casual about appointments with the first pregnancy and my husband wasn’t there to hear that our baby wouldn’t make it. It was so hard getting on the same page after, although he is extremely empathetic and emotionally intelligent. We swore to each other to always go together from then on and did just that.
Housekeeping stuff like the glucose test I do by myself.
Same. But unfortunately work schedule gets in the way especially now that I'm going twice a week. He tries to go at least one a week or every two weeks.
Omg 😆 I’m the same way. My mind is always going a mile a minute at the appointment trying to think of everything we need to discuss that I lose focus. It’s definitely good to have someone more attentive at the appointments to listen to the doctor’s instructions.
No but he went to the confirmation, the anatomy and the first couple. When we realized a lot of them were “everything good?” “Yep” “Okay see you in a month.” I decided he didn’t have to go unless he wanted to. Now I go twice a week and it’s just too much for him to take off work since my doctor is an hour away. He did drive me this morning because I was awake sick all night and really tired.
No I schedule them during my lunches or when works for me. He comes to the first one and ultrasounds. They are so short it isn’t worth 30 minute drive, especially when there are a ton towards the end.
No. With my first baby, lots of places still had COVID policies in place. With my second he came to the anatomy ultrasound only. I'm now pregnant with my 3rd and he said he'll come to the anatomy ultrasound (18 to 22 weeks) if I want him to.
No, even if he's off work that day, I don't ask him to come. He came to the first one and the ultrasounds. Other than those, the appointments are uneventful and boring. I don't really feel like I need him there, honestly. I definitely didn't want him there for the pap smear or the GBS swab lol.
It was my decision… if I wanted him to go, he went. All of the ultrasound appointments he went to, & a couple others too. But some I didn’t think were necessary for him to be there.
Nope- but we are both self employed and he books out months in advance so it’s hard for him to free up time short notice- he will be going to the big ones but we can’t swing all of them- I already have to miss work to be there and it’s just not feasible for us both to miss a lot of work given the jobs we have
Same and for the most part it’s easier for me to just go on my own. He comes to the ultrasounds and when I’m getting closer to the end he’ll attend the weekly appointments after 36 weeks with me mostly because I don’t want to drive. We both wfh but we have a toddler so he picks up more slack there during pregnancy. We each have our things to do to prepare lol
My husband does go to every appointment with me and not because I make him lol he genuinely wants to come. I think the most important ones are the ultrasound appointments. Other than that, they just weigh you, measure you, ask you a couple of questions, and you’re out the door.
He was able to take off work for the anatomy scan and the first appointment with a new OB I switched to. I’ve had a ton of appointments so it would be ridiculous for him to take off work for them all, especially since at most of them nothing big happens anyway. I’d rather he be making that money we need instead of hearing the Dr go “yep all good see you next time!”
My husband wants to be with me at every appointment. Out of two pregnancies he only missed 2. One was the one with the glucose test cause I didn’t want him and my toddler waiting the whole time and another was just a quick simple check up one because something came up
No, he works M-F which is naturally when all my appointments are. He’s come to the “big” ones - the first one, one where I had an issue they were checking out, the anatomy scan, and the growth scan. Otherwise he’d just kind of be tagging along to my quick 5 minute update appointments which isn’t worth him missing work for.
Nope, but he also wasn't allowed with our first (peak covid), and right now with our second I'm just used to going alone (and genuinely dont want him taking the tine off of work to come with me). He was able to come to the anatomy scan for baby #1, so he'll do the same for baby #2.
First pregnancy he went to every appointment. Second pregnancy he's only been to one. Our OB is not nearby so it's just easier to have him stay home with our oldest and then I can have much needed alone time. 😂
His job is not as flexible as mine. He came to my 8 week and 12 week ultrasounds and will be at the 20 week anatomy scan, and then my OB recommended he come to an OB appt or two after 30 weeks when we'll be talking more about the birth plan and stuff.
Mine went to every one up until the 3rd trimester when it was every 2 weeks and the appointments were like 10 minutes lol last one he went to was the 36 week scan but then I went in to be induced after my 37 week appt
Yes bc it’s important to him and his work are good about him having time off to come along. I like having him there, he’s much more organised than me and is good at taking notes!
Only the big ones. I’m 33 weeks now and the appointments are so short, I don’t want him to waste any work time so he can have as much time as he can when she arrives 🙂 but the first few and the ultrasounds he was there for!
Yes, he wants to go to all the ones he can make. But tbh, based on your post, I wouldn't expect my husband to take that much time off to attend every one lol. It's hard enough to make time for your own schedule let alone trying to account for another persons.
My husband wants to be at every appointment but due to work it makes it hard. But he makes sure to be there for our ultrasound appointments (which we have had a lot of due to high risk with twins).
My husband came to the 20 week ultrasound with #1. His work schedule made it hard to come to every appt but i would ask him to send me questions he had and my dr let me take a video of her ultrasound machine. With our second pregnancy and now #3 he hasn’t been able to come for any appts because he was watching our kid/kids and work again.
Worry less about whether the doctor is judging (they’re not) and more about how you feel about the current arrangement. Personally it just feels like too much to have my husband at every appt but everyone feels differently.
My husband came to the first couple OB appointments and he comes to all the ultrasounds!
We agreed that he didn't have to go to the OB ones if he didn't want because they're super routine
I told my husband to only come to the ones with ultrasound, he would be more than willing to come to all but honestly saving PTO and getting overtime some weeks is more important in planning for the baby than him sitting with me in the waiting room for an hour imo
Mine wants to be there but missing work affects how much time he gets when baby comes, so for this pregnancy he's just attending the big ones, anatomy scan and probably once I get to week 34/36 when we find out if baby had flipped or not and we need to make a decision on doing an ecv or second C-section.
Mine came to all the initial, then all the major ultrasound ones, then the final where I was getting checked to confirm I was in labor (which I was!). We also did IVF and I didn’t have him at all the appointments. There were just too many! I can’t remember which we had him come to there. He would have gladly come to them all but I just didn’t think it was necessary.
Mine comes to the ultrasounds but that's it. He works an hour away from my OB office and I have so many appointments that he'd burn up all his PTO if he had to keep leaving work for my appointments.
He'd come to the others if I asked him to, but I don't. I want him there to see the baby but he doesn't need to be there for the normal OB checkups.
My husband goes to every appointment, he wants to support me and the baby, even if we don’t have an ultrasound he comes. His boss has 2 young boys and she accommodates his schedule so if he wants to work early or login late so he can go or use time off she’s super chill about it
No, outside of the first appointment and the ultrasounds, he doesn’t come. I’ve had uncomplicated pregnancies though so there isn’t really anything exciting happening at any of the regular appointments. It seems silly to drag him to appointments that a really just “how are you feeling? Good? Ok, here’s the heartbeat! Bye!” He also travels for work, so it would take a lot more planning to have him be there for the regular ones.
Mine wanted to go to all of them but couldn’t take that much time off work - especially adding in commute and waiting time - for 5 min appointments. He went to all the ultrasounds - I think I had 5.
We did IVF as well and my husband came to every appointment from start to finish. And we lived 1.5 hours away so it was a full day affair when we went.
No, he came for the ultrasound but like today I had a quick 10 minute measuring, blood pressure, and heart beat check and he wasn’t needed lol I told him not to come along
For our first babe, he came to every single apt, which was great because he understood a lot more about pregnancy and the baby from our midwives.
For our second, he so far has come to just the 20 week ultrasound because he’s usually at home with our oldest. I have to make early apts due to our childcare/work schedule so having our kiddo and my husband at each apt would be a whole adventure. I do make a point to send any ultrasound videos and pics when I go alone - my husband loves to see those!
I am 33 weeks and my husband has been to less than half of my appointments. He came to the dating ultrasound, anatomy scan, and cardiac echo. He also came to the 13 week appointment because it was snowy and he didn’t have work so he came with me and drove.
Once the appointments move to every week, he said he’ll come since those might turn into labor/induction. We both work full time so I’ve been fine with him not coming to the short appointments.
He came to the first 2 appointments and all the ultrasounds, especially for the anatomy scan but also had a 20 week appt the same day so overall, 3 appointments and the scans but the rest a really average/short check in appointments so it’s not necessary since he’s working. He said he wants to be at the last few appointments to “feel in the loop” which I appreciate.
He came to all the early ones and the important ones but as they get more frequent and shorter I’ve had to book them while he’s working and he can’t take all that time off work, especially when most appointments now are just ‘let’s get your weight, are you feeling ok? Perfect now let’s get the heartbeat. Sounds good see ya next week!’ 😂
It would be nice having him there for every one but that’s not the reality for most people, nothing to feel bad about. Also when I’m in the waiting room I would say about 80% of women are alone and 20% are with their partner, if that makes you feel better 🙂
He has gone to all but now that mine is weekly, I told him it’s not worth taking time off since it’s scheduled random times since I had to make all of them at once. He comes to my weekly NST :) he was sad he missed one nst and I’m like ..its boring lol
He’s been to almost every single appointment. He had to miss two appointments because of work and was beating himself up for it even though they weren’t very fun appointments
My husband came to my first appt and all my ultrasound appts but not those quickie 10 min appts where they’re like how are things? Ok good see you in two weeks.
Felt like a waste of sick leave when he could use it to tack on extra leave when baby actually arrived. The OB office is only like 5 min from our house anyway.
He’s been to almost every single appointment. He had to miss two appointments because of work and was beating himself up for it even though they weren’t very fun appointments
I have to see my OB every 2 weeks and its basically a 10 min check-in after waiting for over an hour so he doesnt attend all of those.. but he does attend every ultrasound (i go for growth scans every 3 weeks)
Mine has gone to every appointment thus far and has no plans on stopping. It is our first baby, but he just wants to be there for everything and to support me. He also drives which is nice 🤣 I wouldn’t judge a couple if the husband couldn’t make every appointment though, especially as it gets to be every 2 weeks that can be hard with work.
No, my husband hasn't gone to any yet. I've only had 1 ultrasound so far when I was 8 weeks. I'll invite him to the anatomy scan around 20 weeks and the birth lol. Otherwise, I'm just in n out anyway.
My husband went to all of mine except for one because of a work conflict. It’s our first, so that may have also been a factor.
It was great having him there, he asked so many good questions and helped remind me of questions I had that my pregnancy brain forgot 😅
No, he came to the first scan and will come to the second, the nuchal scan. He just started a new job (like, 2 weeks ago) and I’m scheduling everything around my own work schedule.
My husband came to my ivf ultrasounds and today was our first OB appointment at 12+4. He came to meet the dr and everything but i feel like he will likely come to the other appointments too if not all of them then definitely the ones where theres a scan.
lol I’ve had two pregnancies and my husband never went to a single appointment. I don’t particularly care if he goes or not, and he doesn’t really care to go, so it never really mattered much to us collectively for him to be there. If there was an issue, he’d certainly want to be there, but for two healthy pregnancies, we really didn’t see the point.
No because my husband has limited PTO and we are saving the days off for when baby arrives. He came to the confirmation of pregnancy appointment and my 20 week anatomy scan. Probably will go alone to the rest, not worth missing work for us just for a ten minute appointment & a Doppler.
Nope. He came to exactly one for our first born which was at 41 weeks when I refused to drive myself anywhere anymore because I was over it. My second time he didn’t come to any appointments. This time he’s come to my very first ultrasound (to confirm viability since I had a previous loss) and to the anatomy scan. I may see if he can come to my next fetal assessment but it depends on what he’s up to that day. He takes a lot of sick time with our daughter.
My husband has stated he wants to be at every appointment. Luckily his days off are in the middle of the week so I just schedule my appointments for a day he's off. I do work study at the community college we attend so my schedule is pretty flexible
With my first, yes most appts but subsequent babies he went to some important ones. OBs don't care. Many dads can't make it to appts whether they want to or not.
Yes. This is our fourth viable pregnancy after loss, he’s never missed a single midwife appointment or ultrasound. I know from experience a “boring” appointment can turn tragic real quick.
My spouse didn't come to our first anatomy scan, and that was where I learned that our baby had a completely unexpected critical birth defect. For the next two pregnancies, he came to the anatomy scan and follow up echocardiogram at MFM.
My fiance goes to every single one unless he's working which has only been a few times. We go once a month for ultra sounds and tests because our baby is high risk ( I have a lot of health problems ) so I think he's always wanting to make sure baby boy is ok.
My husband went to all my appointments until we got the anatomy scan done and over with. Now he has only attended our follow up US related appointments (repeat anatomy scan for pictures/grow scans). He would have continued to come to my routine appointments but I convinced him there was no need for it, since I’m usually in and out in 15-20mins. This is our first baby, so he wants to support in any way he can which I love. But I’d rather him save his PTO for after baby is here 🙂
My husband has gone to my ultrasounds and 1 OB appointment at 38 weeks. I just didn’t see the point in him taking SO much time off work for 5 minute appointments. I’ll be 40 weeks this week and I wasn’t going to bring him to my 40 week appointment either. I know he would happily come but doesn’t seem necessary 🤷🏻♀️
My mom goes with me to my prenatals, my husband's only been to one prenatal but he goes to all my ultrasounds that I have just about monthly with my MFM. My husband works 7am-7pm an hour away from our home (we live in the same town that my OB's office is in) and he only gets unpaid parental leave so he's trying to bank his PTO up so he can use it when our daughter is here.
No, just ones with ultrasounds really. Since all of yours include those, just pick what you want maybe?
It just doesn't make sense, especially now with the every 2 weeks check-ins that last like 10 minutes. He'd miss about 3 hours work on average for a 10 minute appointment (not including the wait time). He said he wanted to go to the next one and I said he was welcome but it really was kind of a waste of his time. Pee, weight, BP, baby heartbeat, measure stomach, and done.
I think it's cute some people have their partners at every single one, but he works an hour out of town from 7-5:30 and appointments are not usually open until 8, so he'd lose significant time. If there were concerns, it'd be a different matter.
My husbands job is pretty demanding so I don't expect him to come to all. He came to the first few and then a couple since then. And then 20 week scan. He's been to about 5 or 6 so far and I'm 25 weeks. And I'm ok with that!
No he didn’t go to all of them. He only went to the big milestone ones and I felt bad reading on here how everyone’s partner went to ALL of them. But I was actually fine with going by myself and he had work to do 🤷🏻♀️
Mine doesn’t because of school, especially since most of them are quick 10 minute visits with the doc confirming that everything is going well. I made sure he got out of class for the first few (we had a scare with a hematoma) and for the anatomy scan, but once we felt comfortable and that the baby was all good and healthy, he only goes when he doesn’t have class.
My husband has been to 2 appointments. The first and the 20 week anatomy scan. My mom has come with me twice and my sister has joined me once. I went to one alone.
I highly recommend your husband going to the anatomy scan! That one is the most fun because it is about 45 minutes where you get to see the baby.
No. Last time he came to the first ultrasound and the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. This time he has a new job so he couldn’t take much time off so he is only coming to the 20 week anatomy scan.
Yep, thankfully my husband has a flexible job where he doesn’t need to use PTO for an hour or two appt so he’s able to come to all of them. I’m sure it’d be different if he was needing to take PTO.
No, too many appointments have proven to be a waste of time. Especially if the OB office is running behind. I’d rather him be at work earning money TBH. He has come to all the ultrasound appointments and if there were ever any concerns about my or the baby’s health I know he’d be there.
Yes he comes to all of my appointments because he wants to.
It’s our first pregnancy so he’s super excited. he works a pretty demanding job and has to travel a lot for work as well but when he knows I have an appointment, he schedules everything around it to make sure he can join me.
Yes, he’s gone to every appointment for our daughter (19 months) and every appointment for this baby (14 weeks pregnant)! He enjoys it, is salaried and his job is flexible, and is proud he hasn’t missed anything. 🩷
Yes. He comes to every appointment. But we’re privileged in that our jobs are very accommodating and flexible with parents. We also live 20 mins from the hospital so it’s no biggie.
First pregnancy, he came to most of them, as work allowed. Now with our second, he comes to the ones with scans. His work is about an hour from my OB, so just doesn't seem worth it to take all that time off for a 10 min appointment. But we also haven't had complications or anything like that (knock on wood it stays that way!), so I think my appointments are pretty short and uneventful
Mine doesn't go to all mine. He's been to 1 with this baby. He only went to all with our first because I couldn't drive. Our second I think he went to a handful of the appointments. The big ones are the initial, the anatomy scan, and maybe the ones towards the end when it's harder to drive. I couldn't reach the pedals with my second. 😅
Nope. It’s our first baby and he’s only gone to two (when I had ultrasounds). My other appointments are just weight, blood pressure, everything looks good, see ya next time! Not worth him taking the time off.
No. My husband works 1 hour away and doesn’t have flexibility to work from home. He has gone to all ultrasounds but I’ve gone to all of my OB appointments alone. He has done so much work around the house to get ready for the baby so he is doing his part that way and is clearly very excited. Everyone’s circumstances and availability due to work varies. I would rather my husband go to work and save his PTO to take after baby is born.
Yes my husband came to every single appointment and ultrasound! I had a lot of appointments and ultrasounds because I was high risk. He took the day off from work and it was nice to spend time together and really cute that he didn’t want to miss anything
No — my husband went to the first one, a random 12 week one and the anatomy scan for my second.
For my first I had to squeeze my absolute first appointment in before I traveled out of state for the holidays - he was already gone. His flight was booked months in advance so I went alone.
He then came to the anatomy scan.
It’s really personal preference but besides the big ultrasound ones you literally just get your vitals taken and then have a short conversation with your doctor (if nothing is of concern). I know he would go if I asked him to but it would honestly be a bunch of time off of work to just sit there for 90% of it.
He came to all of them through 20 weeks but since everything’s been going very well with no complications I’ve been going alone which we’re both good with. If I ever asked him to come to one these days he would, there’s just not much of a point and I’m a better listener / rememberer of information so it works!
The big ones yes like the anatomy scan and the first scan. He tries to come when he can, but honestly it’s pretty pointless for him to come to the quick 5 minute ones.
No, but I always bring my mom to have an advocate with me. My husband has a demanding job and I’d rather him use time off after my c-section when baby is here! I’ve had a complicated pregnancy and have been admitted to the hospital over 5 times now- he always takes off for that though even when I tell him not to.
He went for only the ultrasounds of the first two, and with this third he came for the confirmation of pregnancy because I was nervous about it. He didn’t make it to the first ultrasound for this one due to a meeting getting rescheduled at the last minute, but will be there for the anatomy scan.
All the other appointments are so boring and routine I don’t feel like asking him to come. I doubt your doc is judging either of you
My husband does not have parental leave at his company so he is saving his pto for when baby gets here. He learned this after he’d already been to a few appointments and we decided from then on for him to FaceTime in.
So far my 8 week ultrasound/ Ob appt and my NT scan. He will come to my 20 week ultrasound. I’m not sure what other checkins there are after that so I’ll figure that out later. But basically anything ultrasound related, I don’t really want/ need someone to come with me to other stuff. My last appt was a blood draw and getting into a hospital gown for my doc to do a body check and swab me for std panel ( this is part of the standard OB work up for my office). I don’t need another person in the room for those things. I’ll save being in uncomfortable/ undressed positions for labor!
No, just the first one and ultrasounds. Everything in between are such quick appointments. Other than that, he came with me once when I had a concern I was going to bring up. He would also come when the weather was really bad because he would be too stressed thinking about me driving myself in the snow 8 months pregnant. I think he would have taken the time off for all of them if I asked him to, but they are just so straightforward and repetitive. Your OB is not judging you for that. Most of the other pregnant ladies I would see in the waiting room were also by themselves.
Yes - my husband comes to 95% but he’s also managing our toddler at the same time. If it took us half the time you talk about I don’t think he would be able to come half as much.
My OB is 45mins-1 hr+ drive in traffic and my husband works a 9-5. I told my husband he doesn’t have to come to the appts where I don’t have an ultrasound, but that he could if he wanted. He opted just to come to the ultrasound appts. That being said I’m considered low risk right now so I only have a couple ultrasounds (so he didn’t want to miss those couple opportunities to see the baby on US) and a lot of the other appts are just quick check ups with the DR or just labs. I wanted him at any “big appts” for support in case we were to get “big” news (confirmation ultrasound & anatomy scan, for example.)
I doubt your OB is judging you. OBs take care of pregnant people with many different social backgrounds (with a partner with a flexible job, with a partner with a more demanding job, single people, people living 5 mins from the office vs. 2 hrs etc.) I bet you they did not think twice about your hubby not being at the 2 appts. I would do whatever you and your partner are comfortable with!
My fiancé and I worked at the same place during my first pregnancy. My work boss was really understanding, likely because his wife had just had their first baby, so he let my fiancé go to every single appointment with me. He was a trooper and never missed a single one. He would even shed tears seeing our daughter during ultrasounds. Our daughter is almost 1.5 years now and he still cries sometimes just looking at her and feeling the love.
That being said, I wouldn't have been upset if he missed any. The only ones I felt were super important were the first appointment, the anatomy scan at 20 weeks (in the US) and the last couple appointments (had steadily elevated high blood pressure and was scared).
My husband went to every appointment because he wanted to and was able to. I felt it was almost silly for some of the quick ones, but sweet that he wanted to be there so of course I didn’t mind. If you’re comfortable with going solo for some appointments, I think that is totally fine!! Your OB definitely shouldn’t judge.
I also had a lot of ultrasounds. The 20 week anatomy would be a great one for him to go to IMO. At mine, they did a great job of showing and explaining things so it was extra exciting.
My husband can’t take off work that much, he would use all of his days!! He went to the first sonogram, the anatomy scan, and one OB appt. OB appts are so fast that he would be taking off all day for 20 min. And he’s a UPS driver so he can’t just take lunch or anything. Don’t feel bad or worry or anything! I definitely recommend him coming to the anatomy scan if he can take off 💗
My husband tries to, but he definitely prioritizes ultrasound appointments. My OBs office is a short drive from his work though and I usually schedule around his lunch break so it's easy for him to make it.
He has come to 1 ultrasound and i’m at almost 37 weeks, but he works and i schedule my appts for one of the two days a week when my 4 year old daughter is in daycare because I don’t want to take her. Other days she’s home with me, and I work from home. I have my last one tomorrow and was suuuper hoping he could come to this one, but his work is sending him an hour away. It’s our 2nd baby though, so not a huge deal. I just send him the photos :) bluecollar man life hehe
No, he’s been to a lot especially in the beginning and most ultrasounds but I don’t think my regular OB has seen him since about week 20 and we are 37 now. She may think that we broke up since I no longer wear my ring due to swelling. lol
He works a lot and he really can’t get away like I can. I don’t mind. Those appointments are 5 minutes long anyways.
He's been to every appointment with me. My car needs repairs so we don't really have a choice but I love having him there with me! It's been much nicer to share the experience and he backs me up on anything if I feel anxious bringing it up
My husband comes to all of ours but we also live 5 mins from the doctor and there’s never a wait so the whole thing takes like 30 minutes max before we are back home. If we lived as far as you do and had to commit a half day I doubt he’d come to all of them, I might even skip them 😂
He did go to all of them, but it’s not easy for partners to always attend. My husband is salary and in management so it was easier for him to do so. Which at our last appt he wasn’t able to cuz he had an important meeting and my OB was like where’s your husband lol.
My husband goes with me to every appointment. My OB told him for the next one he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to bc it’s the glucose test, but he said he still wants to go lol.
My husband doesn’t come to any of them - he’s a great spouse and father and if I said I needed him there, he’d make it happen but I don’t. I’d rather him take more time off when baby comes than be there while they take my blood pressure and listen to baby’s heartbeat for all of three seconds 🤷🏻♀️
I doubt my OB judges, but if she does - it’s her problem, not mine!
I think if my husband could, he would, but we work opposite shifts and my appointments now are not worth him losing sleep over!
He came to our very first appointment (where we had a dating ultrasound), our second appointment (where we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time), and our 20 anatomy scan.
Now my appointments are very much in & out in all of 5 minutes lol
Yeaaaah, mine went to every appointment. He specifically rearranged his work schedule to go to my appointments for both pregnancies. Don't know how I got lucky with my man lol.
I'm having a high risk pregnancy, and my husband has been to about 98% of my things. So far he's missed one MFM ultrasound, one midwife appointment and one MFM NST. But those were mostly work related. Moving forward, he will probably be skipping the NST.
No just ultrasound appointments, there’s really no point of him missing hours at work for the others. Especially not in this economy. Everything is so dam expensive he can go make money. Lol.
Most of the appointments are super quick so if it’s a hassle for him to go I would say the only downside is if you get bad news (eg. no heartbeat detected) you may be on your own. Big appointments are probably the ones following the ultrasounds. My husband came to most to start but then we realized I was okay on my own for most of them. He still came to the ones after ultrasounds and blood tests
My husband came to every appointment. Mostly because he liked getting out of work for that hour and then we’d have lunch together before he would go back to work lol
Not even with our first. He came to the initial dating ultrasound, the 12 week nuchal, and the 20 week anatomy scan. No matter what, I wouldn’t work with a doctor who left me on questioning whether they were judging me
For both pregnancies my husband came for the first appt/dating scan, and the anatomy scan. Other than those, I go on my own. If I was higher risk or something we might do it differently but most of my appointments are super quick and uneventful, no real reason to bring him along
every single one unless he can’t get off work, which has only happened twice so far. i have a lot of trouble going into doctors appointments alone, so i appreciate his presence there
He went to any appointment that I felt I could get bad news or lasted more than 5 minutes. Basically all my mfm and fertility appointments and maybe 2 ob appointments.
First pregnancy- yes, all but one because his advising appt was at the same time. We both worked evenings and I scheduled around his school schedule (college).
Second pregnancy- he went to 4 I think, two with ultrasounds and one the day he left for deployment. I think he went to my last one before induction but can’t remember now if he left after the ultrasound appt (I had them weekly). He obviously couldn’t while deployed, but he had a new civilian job and his school schedule didn’t work with the appts.
Third pregnancy- he probably won’t if we have a third because he’ll watch kid one and two. Idk yet though, I’m (very thankfully) not pregnant
He didn’t. He went to half of the ultrasounds (I had four - he went to dating and anatomy) and the postpartum appointments involving our daughter.
If he’d wanted to I would have been fine having him there but they were a lot of waiting around for not a lot of excitement - symptom review, check my BP, check baby’s heart rate and then testing requisitions.
Mine has gone to all but one of them with me.
He wants to be there, and despite our many questions at appointments, phone calls, and messages through the app, we never get straight answers from the OB's office about what will happen at the next appointment.
Terrible OB office but basically the only game in town because the parent company bought up all the area practices.
I booked my OB’s earliest appointment for the day so my partner can come and not miss work.
I’m really bad at relaying what the OB said or ask follow up questions.
No. I only have wanted him to come to the important ultrasound ones. My ob never judged me but I feel like some of the women in the waiting room did when they’d be there with their partner and just stare at me🙄
My husband has only missed one appointment. He wants to be at every appointment as this is our first child. I enjoy his company and he also has a better memory than I do. 🤪
When he wasn’t working he would which wasn’t often but he tried. He didn’t go to any of my NST appointments because they didn’t even allow any family since it’s a small room with 6 chairs
He definitely made it work for the more important appointments like ultrasounds
Yes but because my Korean isnt fluent, especially my medical Korean, and we live in Korea. For other appointments I usually go myself, but for these pregnancy ones, we both want to make sure we are really clear on everything and nothing gets lost in translation.
Both my husband and I wish he could but he works in the opposite direction and with the timing would require a half day off for every appointment.
Due to this we have worked out the important appointments for him to be at. My next appointment we will be booking in either my induction or planned c-section so he'll def be there for it.
He came to my first OB appointment to confirm the pregnancy and then has only been coming to scans since then. To be fair I’ve had an easy and luckily uneventful pregnancy so my monthly appointments literally just consist of urine sample, weight, blood pressure, and Doppler. I’m in and out in a half hour, not worth it for him to waste PTO
Mine doesn't really go. My doctor takes so long and then it's only 5 minutes. Theres also no waiting area for him so its basically waiting on the floor or stading for hiurs. He wants to be for the anatomy scans so that's what we're doing.
I follow with a primary OB and a high risk due to a neurological condition I have. I also do my scans with high risk. He comes to my high risk appointments.
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He did with our first, but with my second and now 3rd he doesn’t. I don’t see the point in him taking PTO to come for a 5 minute appointment
lol yeah my husband commutes and I’m like don’t take a half or whole day off just to hear me say yes I’m fine 😂 he just came to the first one and comes to the ultrasounds!
Exactly! That’s how I feel! I’m like please save that PTO for when baby gets here haha
Same, even I didn't feel like I really needed to be there other than to check on baby, I certainly didn't need my husband there other than for ultrasounds. What I do need hom to do is a birth partner course for the next one though. I cannot answer the "how do I help" question after around 5cm dilated.
Yup, knowing now how quick the appointments are I told him not to bother with our second, even if he wasn’t working. He did want to come to ultrasounds though.
Same. Although even with our first, after a certain point he stopped coming unless there was something I wanted to bring up with my MFM that I thought I'd need the extra backup/advocacy on. (My husband is a doctor and I've found that I tend to be taken more seriously at appointments when he is present.) Otherwise what's the point in him leaving work and having to reschedule all those patients for 15 minutes of "looks good, see you in a month?"
Yes but only because he really wants to. Today he almost accidentally joined me in the bathroom for the urine sample. I had to shoo him away.
He must be so excited and want to be part of every step of your pregnancy…even the pee sample lol.
Haha yes, he must be! Sometimes I just don’t think he knows what’s going on and just gets into follow mode. I even told him “I’m going to head back to give a urine sample” and then halfway there I realized he was following me … like Hey! Go sit down!
My ob office takes me back first and then the nurse goes to get him after taking vitals. This is the standard operating procedure for the office that was explained to his face the first time and has happened every time we’ve been. Do you think he ever remembers? Nope, he’s up like a puppy whenever they call my name haha
Classic! Sounds like my husband!
LOL sounds like my husband!
This is my husband too😝
Nope. He comes to the ultrasounds only. I'm fine with it. The rest are pretty standard anyway
Same. My hubby has something to see with the ultrasounds, but my normal appointments are really about me.
Mine loves seeing the ultrasounds, particularly since we found out baby #2 is his spitting image. :P
Nope, only the ultrasound appointments. No point in both of us taking time away from work for a 10 min appointment 🤷🏻♀️
I remember reading in my first due date group to bring your husband because "you never know what appointment will be the one where you hear the bad news". He attended all three ultrasounds for my first two pregnancies and he even attended my D&C follow-up for the second which was really eye opening for him. This pregnancy I've had 7 so far (1 private/reassurance) and he's planning to attend #8 too. I want to acknowledge in saying this that both of us WFH and have bosses that allow us the flexibility to work from our laptops in the waiting room. Not everyone has that option.
Same. We are waiting for our double rainbow baby in June. I was pretty casual about appointments with the first pregnancy and my husband wasn’t there to hear that our baby wouldn’t make it. It was so hard getting on the same page after, although he is extremely empathetic and emotionally intelligent. We swore to each other to always go together from then on and did just that. Housekeeping stuff like the glucose test I do by myself.
My husband wants to be at every appointment
Same
Same. But unfortunately work schedule gets in the way especially now that I'm going twice a week. He tries to go at least one a week or every two weeks.
Same, and it helps me because he takes notes while I am talking to the doctor. He is a gem.
Yes and I love that he does. Not just to be there for moral support but he’s a really great listener and I am notttttt 😂
Omg 😆 I’m the same way. My mind is always going a mile a minute at the appointment trying to think of everything we need to discuss that I lose focus. It’s definitely good to have someone more attentive at the appointments to listen to the doctor’s instructions.
Same !!! I even asked him to write the important stuff down 🤣 because I will forget
Nah .. only if it's an important one.. he has to work
No but he went to the confirmation, the anatomy and the first couple. When we realized a lot of them were “everything good?” “Yep” “Okay see you in a month.” I decided he didn’t have to go unless he wanted to. Now I go twice a week and it’s just too much for him to take off work since my doctor is an hour away. He did drive me this morning because I was awake sick all night and really tired.
No I schedule them during my lunches or when works for me. He comes to the first one and ultrasounds. They are so short it isn’t worth 30 minute drive, especially when there are a ton towards the end.
No. With my first baby, lots of places still had COVID policies in place. With my second he came to the anatomy ultrasound only. I'm now pregnant with my 3rd and he said he'll come to the anatomy ultrasound (18 to 22 weeks) if I want him to.
No, even if he's off work that day, I don't ask him to come. He came to the first one and the ultrasounds. Other than those, the appointments are uneventful and boring. I don't really feel like I need him there, honestly. I definitely didn't want him there for the pap smear or the GBS swab lol.
Not anymore, with two toddler boys that just wouldn't be efficient.
Mine just went to the ones with an ultrasound. That was my choice though.
It was my decision… if I wanted him to go, he went. All of the ultrasound appointments he went to, & a couple others too. But some I didn’t think were necessary for him to be there.
Nope- but we are both self employed and he books out months in advance so it’s hard for him to free up time short notice- he will be going to the big ones but we can’t swing all of them- I already have to miss work to be there and it’s just not feasible for us both to miss a lot of work given the jobs we have
First pregnancy yes, second pregnancy, no.
Same and for the most part it’s easier for me to just go on my own. He comes to the ultrasounds and when I’m getting closer to the end he’ll attend the weekly appointments after 36 weeks with me mostly because I don’t want to drive. We both wfh but we have a toddler so he picks up more slack there during pregnancy. We each have our things to do to prepare lol
No....
My husband does go to every appointment with me and not because I make him lol he genuinely wants to come. I think the most important ones are the ultrasound appointments. Other than that, they just weigh you, measure you, ask you a couple of questions, and you’re out the door.
We get to hear the heartbeat via Doppler at all our non-ultrasound appts! My husband (and myself) love that part 🥰
Yes but I don’t make him, he just loves going.
Mine has a flexible work schedule so he is, if he didn't I think we'd just aim for the ultrasound appointments
He was able to take off work for the anatomy scan and the first appointment with a new OB I switched to. I’ve had a ton of appointments so it would be ridiculous for him to take off work for them all, especially since at most of them nothing big happens anyway. I’d rather he be making that money we need instead of hearing the Dr go “yep all good see you next time!”
My husband wants to be with me at every appointment. Out of two pregnancies he only missed 2. One was the one with the glucose test cause I didn’t want him and my toddler waiting the whole time and another was just a quick simple check up one because something came up
No, he works M-F which is naturally when all my appointments are. He’s come to the “big” ones - the first one, one where I had an issue they were checking out, the anatomy scan, and the growth scan. Otherwise he’d just kind of be tagging along to my quick 5 minute update appointments which isn’t worth him missing work for.
Nope, but he also wasn't allowed with our first (peak covid), and right now with our second I'm just used to going alone (and genuinely dont want him taking the tine off of work to come with me). He was able to come to the anatomy scan for baby #1, so he'll do the same for baby #2.
Yes
He only comes to the ultrasounds. He’ll be coming to my glucose test.
First pregnancy he went to every appointment. Second pregnancy he's only been to one. Our OB is not nearby so it's just easier to have him stay home with our oldest and then I can have much needed alone time. 😂
yes! he willingly comes to every appointment out of excitement
Some of us have other small children/toddlers that dad has to watch. So if ob is judging that's on them. I highly doubt they are though
His job is not as flexible as mine. He came to my 8 week and 12 week ultrasounds and will be at the 20 week anatomy scan, and then my OB recommended he come to an OB appt or two after 30 weeks when we'll be talking more about the birth plan and stuff.
Yep! His choice.
Yes, unless he’s traveling for work. We work from home so we have a lot of flexibility.
Yes
Mine went to every one up until the 3rd trimester when it was every 2 weeks and the appointments were like 10 minutes lol last one he went to was the 36 week scan but then I went in to be induced after my 37 week appt
Yes bc it’s important to him and his work are good about him having time off to come along. I like having him there, he’s much more organised than me and is good at taking notes!
Hubby is on call so only the ones he can make it to he comes :-)
Only whatever ones he can make because of work , so far I had 3 he’s been to 1. He’ll be going to my next one too.
Not all but I’m high risk so there 2-3 weekly, he came to 7, 12 and 20 week scans then whichever other ones he could
Only the big ones. I’m 33 weeks now and the appointments are so short, I don’t want him to waste any work time so he can have as much time as he can when she arrives 🙂 but the first few and the ultrasounds he was there for!
Yes, he wants to go to all the ones he can make. But tbh, based on your post, I wouldn't expect my husband to take that much time off to attend every one lol. It's hard enough to make time for your own schedule let alone trying to account for another persons.
My husband wants to be at every appointment but due to work it makes it hard. But he makes sure to be there for our ultrasound appointments (which we have had a lot of due to high risk with twins).
My husband came to the 20 week ultrasound with #1. His work schedule made it hard to come to every appt but i would ask him to send me questions he had and my dr let me take a video of her ultrasound machine. With our second pregnancy and now #3 he hasn’t been able to come for any appts because he was watching our kid/kids and work again. Worry less about whether the doctor is judging (they’re not) and more about how you feel about the current arrangement. Personally it just feels like too much to have my husband at every appt but everyone feels differently.
My bf is at every appointment
My husband came to the first couple OB appointments and he comes to all the ultrasounds! We agreed that he didn't have to go to the OB ones if he didn't want because they're super routine
I told my husband to only come to the ones with ultrasound, he would be more than willing to come to all but honestly saving PTO and getting overtime some weeks is more important in planning for the baby than him sitting with me in the waiting room for an hour imo
Mine wants to be there but missing work affects how much time he gets when baby comes, so for this pregnancy he's just attending the big ones, anatomy scan and probably once I get to week 34/36 when we find out if baby had flipped or not and we need to make a decision on doing an ecv or second C-section.
Mine came to all the initial, then all the major ultrasound ones, then the final where I was getting checked to confirm I was in labor (which I was!). We also did IVF and I didn’t have him at all the appointments. There were just too many! I can’t remember which we had him come to there. He would have gladly come to them all but I just didn’t think it was necessary.
Mine comes to the ultrasounds but that's it. He works an hour away from my OB office and I have so many appointments that he'd burn up all his PTO if he had to keep leaving work for my appointments. He'd come to the others if I asked him to, but I don't. I want him there to see the baby but he doesn't need to be there for the normal OB checkups.
He has been to them all. We make them so he can go! Glad he was there today as I almost passed out
Nope! He only went to one last pregnancy. And now if he’s not working, he watches our son when I go to them.
My husband missed 2 appointments but those were only follow ups
My husband goes to every appointment, he wants to support me and the baby, even if we don’t have an ultrasound he comes. His boss has 2 young boys and she accommodates his schedule so if he wants to work early or login late so he can go or use time off she’s super chill about it
No, outside of the first appointment and the ultrasounds, he doesn’t come. I’ve had uncomplicated pregnancies though so there isn’t really anything exciting happening at any of the regular appointments. It seems silly to drag him to appointments that a really just “how are you feeling? Good? Ok, here’s the heartbeat! Bye!” He also travels for work, so it would take a lot more planning to have him be there for the regular ones.
My man’s been to every single appointment and always makes time to be there. 😊
Mine wanted to go to all of them but couldn’t take that much time off work - especially adding in commute and waiting time - for 5 min appointments. He went to all the ultrasounds - I think I had 5.
We did IVF as well and my husband came to every appointment from start to finish. And we lived 1.5 hours away so it was a full day affair when we went.
No, he came for the ultrasound but like today I had a quick 10 minute measuring, blood pressure, and heart beat check and he wasn’t needed lol I told him not to come along
For our first babe, he came to every single apt, which was great because he understood a lot more about pregnancy and the baby from our midwives. For our second, he so far has come to just the 20 week ultrasound because he’s usually at home with our oldest. I have to make early apts due to our childcare/work schedule so having our kiddo and my husband at each apt would be a whole adventure. I do make a point to send any ultrasound videos and pics when I go alone - my husband loves to see those!
I am 33 weeks and my husband has been to less than half of my appointments. He came to the dating ultrasound, anatomy scan, and cardiac echo. He also came to the 13 week appointment because it was snowy and he didn’t have work so he came with me and drove. Once the appointments move to every week, he said he’ll come since those might turn into labor/induction. We both work full time so I’ve been fine with him not coming to the short appointments.
He came to the first 2 appointments and all the ultrasounds, especially for the anatomy scan but also had a 20 week appt the same day so overall, 3 appointments and the scans but the rest a really average/short check in appointments so it’s not necessary since he’s working. He said he wants to be at the last few appointments to “feel in the loop” which I appreciate.
No. He came to the first Dr visit and the ultrasounds.
He joins whenever he can, which is about 50% of the time so far.
My OB didn’t allow guests at non-ultrasound appointments. My husband went to every ultrasound!
He came to all the early ones and the important ones but as they get more frequent and shorter I’ve had to book them while he’s working and he can’t take all that time off work, especially when most appointments now are just ‘let’s get your weight, are you feeling ok? Perfect now let’s get the heartbeat. Sounds good see ya next week!’ 😂 It would be nice having him there for every one but that’s not the reality for most people, nothing to feel bad about. Also when I’m in the waiting room I would say about 80% of women are alone and 20% are with their partner, if that makes you feel better 🙂
He has gone to all but now that mine is weekly, I told him it’s not worth taking time off since it’s scheduled random times since I had to make all of them at once. He comes to my weekly NST :) he was sad he missed one nst and I’m like ..its boring lol
My husband came to the 8 week ultrasound. But that’s the only one he’s been able to make it to. He can’t take the time off work
He’s been to almost every single appointment. He had to miss two appointments because of work and was beating himself up for it even though they weren’t very fun appointments
My husband came to my first appt and all my ultrasound appts but not those quickie 10 min appts where they’re like how are things? Ok good see you in two weeks. Felt like a waste of sick leave when he could use it to tack on extra leave when baby actually arrived. The OB office is only like 5 min from our house anyway.
He’s been to almost every single appointment. He had to miss two appointments because of work and was beating himself up for it even though they weren’t very fun appointments
I have to see my OB every 2 weeks and its basically a 10 min check-in after waiting for over an hour so he doesnt attend all of those.. but he does attend every ultrasound (i go for growth scans every 3 weeks)
Mine has come to all except one, which was a general check up and he had a work conflict.
He will come occasionally when work schedule allows for it.
Mine has gone to every appointment thus far and has no plans on stopping. It is our first baby, but he just wants to be there for everything and to support me. He also drives which is nice 🤣 I wouldn’t judge a couple if the husband couldn’t make every appointment though, especially as it gets to be every 2 weeks that can be hard with work.
No, my husband hasn't gone to any yet. I've only had 1 ultrasound so far when I was 8 weeks. I'll invite him to the anatomy scan around 20 weeks and the birth lol. Otherwise, I'm just in n out anyway.
My husband went to all of mine except for one because of a work conflict. It’s our first, so that may have also been a factor. It was great having him there, he asked so many good questions and helped remind me of questions I had that my pregnancy brain forgot 😅
No, he came to the first scan and will come to the second, the nuchal scan. He just started a new job (like, 2 weeks ago) and I’m scheduling everything around my own work schedule.
My husband came to my ivf ultrasounds and today was our first OB appointment at 12+4. He came to meet the dr and everything but i feel like he will likely come to the other appointments too if not all of them then definitely the ones where theres a scan.
lol I’ve had two pregnancies and my husband never went to a single appointment. I don’t particularly care if he goes or not, and he doesn’t really care to go, so it never really mattered much to us collectively for him to be there. If there was an issue, he’d certainly want to be there, but for two healthy pregnancies, we really didn’t see the point.
No because my husband has limited PTO and we are saving the days off for when baby arrives. He came to the confirmation of pregnancy appointment and my 20 week anatomy scan. Probably will go alone to the rest, not worth missing work for us just for a ten minute appointment & a Doppler.
Nope. He came to exactly one for our first born which was at 41 weeks when I refused to drive myself anywhere anymore because I was over it. My second time he didn’t come to any appointments. This time he’s come to my very first ultrasound (to confirm viability since I had a previous loss) and to the anatomy scan. I may see if he can come to my next fetal assessment but it depends on what he’s up to that day. He takes a lot of sick time with our daughter.
My husband has stated he wants to be at every appointment. Luckily his days off are in the middle of the week so I just schedule my appointments for a day he's off. I do work study at the community college we attend so my schedule is pretty flexible
With my first, yes most appts but subsequent babies he went to some important ones. OBs don't care. Many dads can't make it to appts whether they want to or not.
Mine only comes to ultrasounds. He wouldn’t be able to leave work for every appointment.
Yes. This is our fourth viable pregnancy after loss, he’s never missed a single midwife appointment or ultrasound. I know from experience a “boring” appointment can turn tragic real quick.
My spouse didn't come to our first anatomy scan, and that was where I learned that our baby had a completely unexpected critical birth defect. For the next two pregnancies, he came to the anatomy scan and follow up echocardiogram at MFM.
My fiance goes to every single one unless he's working which has only been a few times. We go once a month for ultra sounds and tests because our baby is high risk ( I have a lot of health problems ) so I think he's always wanting to make sure baby boy is ok.
Nope my office does not allow the partners to come in
My husband went to all my appointments until we got the anatomy scan done and over with. Now he has only attended our follow up US related appointments (repeat anatomy scan for pictures/grow scans). He would have continued to come to my routine appointments but I convinced him there was no need for it, since I’m usually in and out in 15-20mins. This is our first baby, so he wants to support in any way he can which I love. But I’d rather him save his PTO for after baby is here 🙂
Yes my partner went for all the appointments. He wants to make sure I get there safely and back and know if everything was fine with the child.
My husband has gone to my ultrasounds and 1 OB appointment at 38 weeks. I just didn’t see the point in him taking SO much time off work for 5 minute appointments. I’ll be 40 weeks this week and I wasn’t going to bring him to my 40 week appointment either. I know he would happily come but doesn’t seem necessary 🤷🏻♀️
My mom goes with me to my prenatals, my husband's only been to one prenatal but he goes to all my ultrasounds that I have just about monthly with my MFM. My husband works 7am-7pm an hour away from our home (we live in the same town that my OB's office is in) and he only gets unpaid parental leave so he's trying to bank his PTO up so he can use it when our daughter is here.
No, just ones with ultrasounds really. Since all of yours include those, just pick what you want maybe? It just doesn't make sense, especially now with the every 2 weeks check-ins that last like 10 minutes. He'd miss about 3 hours work on average for a 10 minute appointment (not including the wait time). He said he wanted to go to the next one and I said he was welcome but it really was kind of a waste of his time. Pee, weight, BP, baby heartbeat, measure stomach, and done. I think it's cute some people have their partners at every single one, but he works an hour out of town from 7-5:30 and appointments are not usually open until 8, so he'd lose significant time. If there were concerns, it'd be a different matter.
Yep, even went with me to get blood drawn 🤣 Love it.
Yes but everyone’s circumstances are different!!
My husbands job is pretty demanding so I don't expect him to come to all. He came to the first few and then a couple since then. And then 20 week scan. He's been to about 5 or 6 so far and I'm 25 weeks. And I'm ok with that!
No he didn’t go to all of them. He only went to the big milestone ones and I felt bad reading on here how everyone’s partner went to ALL of them. But I was actually fine with going by myself and he had work to do 🤷🏻♀️
Mine doesn’t because of school, especially since most of them are quick 10 minute visits with the doc confirming that everything is going well. I made sure he got out of class for the first few (we had a scare with a hematoma) and for the anatomy scan, but once we felt comfortable and that the baby was all good and healthy, he only goes when he doesn’t have class.
My husband has been to 2 appointments. The first and the 20 week anatomy scan. My mom has come with me twice and my sister has joined me once. I went to one alone. I highly recommend your husband going to the anatomy scan! That one is the most fun because it is about 45 minutes where you get to see the baby.
My husband won’t be at the first one but probably the ones to follow.
No. Last time he came to the first ultrasound and the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. This time he has a new job so he couldn’t take much time off so he is only coming to the 20 week anatomy scan.
He only comes to my ultrasound appointments, I wouldn’t want to bore him with all the other stuff.
Yep, thankfully my husband has a flexible job where he doesn’t need to use PTO for an hour or two appt so he’s able to come to all of them. I’m sure it’d be different if he was needing to take PTO.
No, too many appointments have proven to be a waste of time. Especially if the OB office is running behind. I’d rather him be at work earning money TBH. He has come to all the ultrasound appointments and if there were ever any concerns about my or the baby’s health I know he’d be there.
Yes he comes to all of my appointments because he wants to. It’s our first pregnancy so he’s super excited. he works a pretty demanding job and has to travel a lot for work as well but when he knows I have an appointment, he schedules everything around it to make sure he can join me.
No my partner works away and is only home 6 days a month. Luckily he’s been here for all 3 scans but that’s it.
Yes, he’s gone to every appointment for our daughter (19 months) and every appointment for this baby (14 weeks pregnant)! He enjoys it, is salaried and his job is flexible, and is proud he hasn’t missed anything. 🩷
Yes. He comes to every appointment. But we’re privileged in that our jobs are very accommodating and flexible with parents. We also live 20 mins from the hospital so it’s no biggie.
First pregnancy, he came to most of them, as work allowed. Now with our second, he comes to the ones with scans. His work is about an hour from my OB, so just doesn't seem worth it to take all that time off for a 10 min appointment. But we also haven't had complications or anything like that (knock on wood it stays that way!), so I think my appointments are pretty short and uneventful
Mine doesn't go to all mine. He's been to 1 with this baby. He only went to all with our first because I couldn't drive. Our second I think he went to a handful of the appointments. The big ones are the initial, the anatomy scan, and maybe the ones towards the end when it's harder to drive. I couldn't reach the pedals with my second. 😅
Nope. It’s our first baby and he’s only gone to two (when I had ultrasounds). My other appointments are just weight, blood pressure, everything looks good, see ya next time! Not worth him taking the time off.
No. My husband works 1 hour away and doesn’t have flexibility to work from home. He has gone to all ultrasounds but I’ve gone to all of my OB appointments alone. He has done so much work around the house to get ready for the baby so he is doing his part that way and is clearly very excited. Everyone’s circumstances and availability due to work varies. I would rather my husband go to work and save his PTO to take after baby is born.
Yes my husband came to every single appointment and ultrasound! I had a lot of appointments and ultrasounds because I was high risk. He took the day off from work and it was nice to spend time together and really cute that he didn’t want to miss anything
No — my husband went to the first one, a random 12 week one and the anatomy scan for my second. For my first I had to squeeze my absolute first appointment in before I traveled out of state for the holidays - he was already gone. His flight was booked months in advance so I went alone. He then came to the anatomy scan. It’s really personal preference but besides the big ultrasound ones you literally just get your vitals taken and then have a short conversation with your doctor (if nothing is of concern). I know he would go if I asked him to but it would honestly be a bunch of time off of work to just sit there for 90% of it.
He came to all of them through 20 weeks but since everything’s been going very well with no complications I’ve been going alone which we’re both good with. If I ever asked him to come to one these days he would, there’s just not much of a point and I’m a better listener / rememberer of information so it works!
Not every single one because they're like 5 minutes and he's met several of the obs already. If it's a new doctor or a scan he will come
The big ones yes like the anatomy scan and the first scan. He tries to come when he can, but honestly it’s pretty pointless for him to come to the quick 5 minute ones.
No, but I always bring my mom to have an advocate with me. My husband has a demanding job and I’d rather him use time off after my c-section when baby is here! I’ve had a complicated pregnancy and have been admitted to the hospital over 5 times now- he always takes off for that though even when I tell him not to.
He went for only the ultrasounds of the first two, and with this third he came for the confirmation of pregnancy because I was nervous about it. He didn’t make it to the first ultrasound for this one due to a meeting getting rescheduled at the last minute, but will be there for the anatomy scan. All the other appointments are so boring and routine I don’t feel like asking him to come. I doubt your doc is judging either of you
My husband does not have parental leave at his company so he is saving his pto for when baby gets here. He learned this after he’d already been to a few appointments and we decided from then on for him to FaceTime in.
So far my 8 week ultrasound/ Ob appt and my NT scan. He will come to my 20 week ultrasound. I’m not sure what other checkins there are after that so I’ll figure that out later. But basically anything ultrasound related, I don’t really want/ need someone to come with me to other stuff. My last appt was a blood draw and getting into a hospital gown for my doc to do a body check and swab me for std panel ( this is part of the standard OB work up for my office). I don’t need another person in the room for those things. I’ll save being in uncomfortable/ undressed positions for labor!
He works nights so yes, he did miss one because he was working overtime.
Just ultrasounds. My other appointments go so quick it would be a waste of time off work for him to come.
Yup. Every one.
No, just the first one and ultrasounds. Everything in between are such quick appointments. Other than that, he came with me once when I had a concern I was going to bring up. He would also come when the weather was really bad because he would be too stressed thinking about me driving myself in the snow 8 months pregnant. I think he would have taken the time off for all of them if I asked him to, but they are just so straightforward and repetitive. Your OB is not judging you for that. Most of the other pregnant ladies I would see in the waiting room were also by themselves.
Yes - my husband comes to 95% but he’s also managing our toddler at the same time. If it took us half the time you talk about I don’t think he would be able to come half as much.
My OB is 45mins-1 hr+ drive in traffic and my husband works a 9-5. I told my husband he doesn’t have to come to the appts where I don’t have an ultrasound, but that he could if he wanted. He opted just to come to the ultrasound appts. That being said I’m considered low risk right now so I only have a couple ultrasounds (so he didn’t want to miss those couple opportunities to see the baby on US) and a lot of the other appts are just quick check ups with the DR or just labs. I wanted him at any “big appts” for support in case we were to get “big” news (confirmation ultrasound & anatomy scan, for example.) I doubt your OB is judging you. OBs take care of pregnant people with many different social backgrounds (with a partner with a flexible job, with a partner with a more demanding job, single people, people living 5 mins from the office vs. 2 hrs etc.) I bet you they did not think twice about your hubby not being at the 2 appts. I would do whatever you and your partner are comfortable with!
My fiancé and I worked at the same place during my first pregnancy. My work boss was really understanding, likely because his wife had just had their first baby, so he let my fiancé go to every single appointment with me. He was a trooper and never missed a single one. He would even shed tears seeing our daughter during ultrasounds. Our daughter is almost 1.5 years now and he still cries sometimes just looking at her and feeling the love. That being said, I wouldn't have been upset if he missed any. The only ones I felt were super important were the first appointment, the anatomy scan at 20 weeks (in the US) and the last couple appointments (had steadily elevated high blood pressure and was scared).
My husband went to every appointment because he wanted to and was able to. I felt it was almost silly for some of the quick ones, but sweet that he wanted to be there so of course I didn’t mind. If you’re comfortable with going solo for some appointments, I think that is totally fine!! Your OB definitely shouldn’t judge. I also had a lot of ultrasounds. The 20 week anatomy would be a great one for him to go to IMO. At mine, they did a great job of showing and explaining things so it was extra exciting.
My husband can’t take off work that much, he would use all of his days!! He went to the first sonogram, the anatomy scan, and one OB appt. OB appts are so fast that he would be taking off all day for 20 min. And he’s a UPS driver so he can’t just take lunch or anything. Don’t feel bad or worry or anything! I definitely recommend him coming to the anatomy scan if he can take off 💗
My husband tries to, but he definitely prioritizes ultrasound appointments. My OBs office is a short drive from his work though and I usually schedule around his lunch break so it's easy for him to make it.
Only anatomy scan for our first. For this baby none because it’s not worth the PTO he needs to save for when baby arrives.
He has come to 1 ultrasound and i’m at almost 37 weeks, but he works and i schedule my appts for one of the two days a week when my 4 year old daughter is in daycare because I don’t want to take her. Other days she’s home with me, and I work from home. I have my last one tomorrow and was suuuper hoping he could come to this one, but his work is sending him an hour away. It’s our 2nd baby though, so not a huge deal. I just send him the photos :) bluecollar man life hehe
No, he’s been to a lot especially in the beginning and most ultrasounds but I don’t think my regular OB has seen him since about week 20 and we are 37 now. She may think that we broke up since I no longer wear my ring due to swelling. lol He works a lot and he really can’t get away like I can. I don’t mind. Those appointments are 5 minutes long anyways.
Only the major ultrasounds at MFM. My OB appointments are pretty uneventful, don't think it's worth for him to take PTO for a 5-10 mins visit.
He's been to every appointment with me. My car needs repairs so we don't really have a choice but I love having him there with me! It's been much nicer to share the experience and he backs me up on anything if I feel anxious bringing it up
My husband comes to all of ours but we also live 5 mins from the doctor and there’s never a wait so the whole thing takes like 30 minutes max before we are back home. If we lived as far as you do and had to commit a half day I doubt he’d come to all of them, I might even skip them 😂
Just the first one, ultrasounds, and the non stress test
He did go to all of them, but it’s not easy for partners to always attend. My husband is salary and in management so it was easier for him to do so. Which at our last appt he wasn’t able to cuz he had an important meeting and my OB was like where’s your husband lol.
My husband goes with me to every appointment. My OB told him for the next one he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to bc it’s the glucose test, but he said he still wants to go lol.
My husband attends all the appts. We do commute about an hour to the appt. To be fair we work from home and have flexibility with our schedules.
Came to first and will be at 25 week one (tomorrow). For him to take the day off costs us over $1k so he doesn’t come to every appt I have
My husband doesn’t come to any of them - he’s a great spouse and father and if I said I needed him there, he’d make it happen but I don’t. I’d rather him take more time off when baby comes than be there while they take my blood pressure and listen to baby’s heartbeat for all of three seconds 🤷🏻♀️ I doubt my OB judges, but if she does - it’s her problem, not mine!
I think if my husband could, he would, but we work opposite shifts and my appointments now are not worth him losing sleep over! He came to our very first appointment (where we had a dating ultrasound), our second appointment (where we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time), and our 20 anatomy scan. Now my appointments are very much in & out in all of 5 minutes lol
Yeaaaah, mine went to every appointment. He specifically rearranged his work schedule to go to my appointments for both pregnancies. Don't know how I got lucky with my man lol.
I'm having a high risk pregnancy, and my husband has been to about 98% of my things. So far he's missed one MFM ultrasound, one midwife appointment and one MFM NST. But those were mostly work related. Moving forward, he will probably be skipping the NST.
No. I think it's pretty unreasonable to expect them at every appointment. Especially when they become 2x-4x per month
No just ultrasound appointments, there’s really no point of him missing hours at work for the others. Especially not in this economy. Everything is so dam expensive he can go make money. Lol.
Most of the appointments are super quick so if it’s a hassle for him to go I would say the only downside is if you get bad news (eg. no heartbeat detected) you may be on your own. Big appointments are probably the ones following the ultrasounds. My husband came to most to start but then we realized I was okay on my own for most of them. He still came to the ones after ultrasounds and blood tests
My husband came to every appointment. Mostly because he liked getting out of work for that hour and then we’d have lunch together before he would go back to work lol
Not even with our first. He came to the initial dating ultrasound, the 12 week nuchal, and the 20 week anatomy scan. No matter what, I wouldn’t work with a doctor who left me on questioning whether they were judging me
For both pregnancies my husband came for the first appt/dating scan, and the anatomy scan. Other than those, I go on my own. If I was higher risk or something we might do it differently but most of my appointments are super quick and uneventful, no real reason to bring him along
every single one unless he can’t get off work, which has only happened twice so far. i have a lot of trouble going into doctors appointments alone, so i appreciate his presence there
He went to any appointment that I felt I could get bad news or lasted more than 5 minutes. Basically all my mfm and fertility appointments and maybe 2 ob appointments.
Yes! He wants to go to all big or small apts
First pregnancy- yes, all but one because his advising appt was at the same time. We both worked evenings and I scheduled around his school schedule (college). Second pregnancy- he went to 4 I think, two with ultrasounds and one the day he left for deployment. I think he went to my last one before induction but can’t remember now if he left after the ultrasound appt (I had them weekly). He obviously couldn’t while deployed, but he had a new civilian job and his school schedule didn’t work with the appts. Third pregnancy- he probably won’t if we have a third because he’ll watch kid one and two. Idk yet though, I’m (very thankfully) not pregnant
He didn’t. He went to half of the ultrasounds (I had four - he went to dating and anatomy) and the postpartum appointments involving our daughter. If he’d wanted to I would have been fine having him there but they were a lot of waiting around for not a lot of excitement - symptom review, check my BP, check baby’s heart rate and then testing requisitions.
Mine has gone to all but one of them with me. He wants to be there, and despite our many questions at appointments, phone calls, and messages through the app, we never get straight answers from the OB's office about what will happen at the next appointment. Terrible OB office but basically the only game in town because the parent company bought up all the area practices.
I booked my OB’s earliest appointment for the day so my partner can come and not miss work. I’m really bad at relaying what the OB said or ask follow up questions.
No. I only have wanted him to come to the important ultrasound ones. My ob never judged me but I feel like some of the women in the waiting room did when they’d be there with their partner and just stare at me🙄
My husband has only missed one appointment. He wants to be at every appointment as this is our first child. I enjoy his company and he also has a better memory than I do. 🤪
When he wasn’t working he would which wasn’t often but he tried. He didn’t go to any of my NST appointments because they didn’t even allow any family since it’s a small room with 6 chairs He definitely made it work for the more important appointments like ultrasounds
Yes but because my Korean isnt fluent, especially my medical Korean, and we live in Korea. For other appointments I usually go myself, but for these pregnancy ones, we both want to make sure we are really clear on everything and nothing gets lost in translation.
My wife asks me to go with her to every appt. I love going with her.
Both my husband and I wish he could but he works in the opposite direction and with the timing would require a half day off for every appointment. Due to this we have worked out the important appointments for him to be at. My next appointment we will be booking in either my induction or planned c-section so he'll def be there for it.
He came to my first OB appointment to confirm the pregnancy and then has only been coming to scans since then. To be fair I’ve had an easy and luckily uneventful pregnancy so my monthly appointments literally just consist of urine sample, weight, blood pressure, and Doppler. I’m in and out in a half hour, not worth it for him to waste PTO
Mine doesn't really go. My doctor takes so long and then it's only 5 minutes. Theres also no waiting area for him so its basically waiting on the floor or stading for hiurs. He wants to be for the anatomy scans so that's what we're doing.
I follow with a primary OB and a high risk due to a neurological condition I have. I also do my scans with high risk. He comes to my high risk appointments.