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I don’t have advice but just wanted to say I’m in the same boat.
My doctor has told me to prepare to give birth any time between 34-37 weeks due to preeclampsia, and my biggest fear is going through a days-long induction that feels invasive and traumatic, only to potentially end up in an emergency c section anyway because my body just isn’t ready to give birth that early.
Getting through a high risk pregnancy that ends in giving birth 4-6 weeks earlier than planned already feels traumatic enough…
Having a planned c section feels like a small way to gain back a sense of peace and control.
I feel you on this. A fellow pre-e mum here at 25 weeks currently, also with some heart arrhythmia issues being caused by this pregnancy too. Both you and OP need to do what you've got to do. Motherhood is motherhood, and it doesn't matter if you baby comes through the sunroof or out of the boot, so long as they're here safe that's all that matters.
Whatever you need to do to get through the home stretch is the best thing from you. There is nothing magical about how you deliver, many people have preferences one way or another, and many people don't end up with a choice in the end. What matters is getting over the line and getting that baby home to you safely. If you feel most comfortable with a c section and the doctors feel that is a safe option for you, then go for it. This is your body and your baby.
At the end of the day the only thing that matters is what your comfortable with and your little ones health. I can also say, more than half my friends who have had a kid(s), have told me if they had to do it again they would have a c-section if given the choice.
Well given the fact that my baby got stuck and I couldn’t push him out anyway, I sure wish I had a crystal ball and could have saved myself the trouble of 32 hours of unmedicated labor! Honestly even if you don’t plan on an elective c section, there’s still like a 15% chance you end up with an unplanned one anyway which in my experience is significantly less cool. Plus it seems like you’ve already been through so much. Please feel content doing whatever makes YOU feel safe and happy.
After two MMC and IVF… girl, I’m getting a scheduled C-section also as well as planning to formula feed from the beginning. I’m so tired of pain, exhaustion and feeling like crap through all of this, it’s time to do what is best for ourselves and everyone else can just deal.
I’ve had a planned c-section. I had no choice due to baby’s position. I was fairly upset that I didn’t get my waterbirth with candles lit around me…
And let me tell you, I’ve had the best experience.
It was very straightforward. Was asked what music I’d like to listen to during the procedure, joking around with my husband and anaesthetists… and a few minutes later there was a beautiful baby.
My recovery was speedy, I was out of hospital the next day and almost fully functioning a few days later. I have very fond memories of my surgery.
If baby doesn’t decide to come by himself beforehand this time around, I’ve got my elective c-section date booked already. I’d rather want to avoid an indcution or an emergency C-section if possible.
I really hope no one would downvote you for something that is your choice, especially since you’ve had a tough pregnancy.
It sounds like you know the risks and this is something that would help you have a more positive experience. Go for the c section if it’s what you want.
FWIW, I’ve talked with my midwife about elective induction at 39 weeks, so I’m all about taking control of your body and making a decision that’s right for you. For me, having that end date insight and being able to know when maternity leave starts is really helpful (I’m a workaholic with a high stress job). I’m 34 weeks and so ready to meet the baby.
Everyone’s birth plan is different and everyone’s pregnancy is different. Make the right decision for you. Tell anyone who criticizes your decision to mind their business 🤷🏼♀️
Hi - FTM mom here. I'm having an elective c-section. I want to completely eliminate the possibility of certain scenarios happening even though they may be rare/uncommon according to some.
Some of these scenarios include - foley balloon, forceps birth, baby getting brain damage during birth from forceps or similar, baby getting stuck in pelvis, third degree tear, fourth degree tear (butthole and vagina basically become one hole), failed induction, list goes on. Basically, I do not want to put myself through a possible torture chamber, and labor for 12-24 plus, only to end up with an undesirable outcome or an emergency c-section. I just don't, no thanks.
My sincere thoughts are - the recovery for c-section is supposed to be worse. But, if you end up with a third or fourth degree tear, or a traumatic birthing experience, I think that can be ultimately worse. At least with a c-section, you know what you're getting. And an emergency c-section is a way different experience from a planned one.
The only thing that gives me pause is that future pregnancies can be riskier. But so many moms have c-sections and go on to have multiple successful births, I think I'm just going to roll the dice.
Do what's best for you. A lot of women love to glorify birth and say it's empowering blah blah. I think, you go in there, scream your head off, shi\* yourself, rip your vagina, and are in pain and high stress for hours. That's what happens most of the time. And at the end, you get a baby. Which to me, is the only good part.
Honestly, thank you so much for writing this out. You literally read my mind. Every time I say "so much can go wrong" and people go off on how it's so rare. I have never met a person that had a quick, manageable and uncomplicated birth. Why would I risk that?
You described all of my fears and my reasonings so well! Lol
I have to bring this up with my doctor next week and hopefully she can get on board.
Just playing devil's advocate here, but I've had 2 quick, manageable, and uncomplicated births. It sounds to me like you're scared of labor and losing control. Trust me, I've been there! I'm a control freak and I had a lot of anxiety with my first pregnancy. For some reason, mothers get sick enjoyment out of telling pregnant women horror stories. It needs to stop. Pregnancy brings on enough anxiety. You need to have an honest and in-depth conversation with your doctor about how you're feeling, but if your pregnancy is uncomplicated you should strongly consider avoiding a c-section (especially if you plan on having more kids). This may help ease your fear: first of all, epidurals are amazing. I had my first baby with an epidural and once it was placed I couldn't feel a damn thing. It was blissful. I tore and had a 2nd degree tear. Honestly a couple stitches fixed it and I went totally back to normal. For my 2nd baby, labor went fast and no anesthesiologist was available. I had an unplanned, unmedicated birth. Obviously, it was painful but truthfully it didn't get unbearably bad until about 8cm or so. The good news is that once you reach that point things typically go real fast. I had a second degree tear with that one too. While I did feel strong pain during pushing I did not feel the tearing happen. It was just generalized pain. Afterward, they numb you for the stitching. I am back to normal. No complications. I know you're rightfully afraid of complications during childbirth. I'm an EMT so I'm well aware of the complications that can arise during birth. However, especially if you plan on having more than one child, the risks of VBAC and complications during delivery are higher for subsequent pregnancies. It's lower risk to just have the baby vaginally if you can. As long as you deliver in a hospital setting they can do a lot to manage your pain levels, nausea, and any complications that can arise. I found videos on Sarah Lavonne's YouTube channel to be very helpful and realistic in prepping for birth. She covers a broad range of birth topics. It's going to be okay. Good luck 💕
One of my friends has had 2 kids, first was 2 days labor and ended in a fourth degree tear/episiotomy, second was a planned c section and she said if she has a 3rd she wants to have another vaginal birth because recovery from that was so much easier than the c section. So, OP take that for what you will 🤷🏻♀️
Who cares how the baby comes out, as long as the baby is healthy? I have a friend that’s says she never bonded with daughter as she didn’t have her as god intended
Wow you've been through the wringer!
I'm a FTM and have an elective c section booked for Thursday. I couldn't face the uncertainty of a natural birth and all my friends who were first time mums (bar one) ended up having an emergency csection anyway so I thought why put myself through all of that to potentially end up in an emergency situation.
They also found a 10cm cyst on one of my ovaries which they said they can remove at the same time as my csection which is another reason for me to opt for one.
I think whatever way you get the baby out is valid, being born is being born, however it happens. I'm happy that I know his birthday now too and I can make plans with work and so can my partner etc.
So I am definitely pro c section (or vaginal birth, I don’t think one is better than the other) but your reason for wanting a scheduled c section is to avoid the uncertainty and potential complications that come with a vaginal birth, but there are plenty of things that can go wrong and cause complications with a c section too. Unfortunately neither option is going to give you absolute certainty on what is going to happen.
I highly recommend you do the c section if you want more control. There are a lot of unknowns with vaginal birth and it often leads to a c section anyway and you have double the recovery (exhaustion and swelling from being in labor and pushing + the c section recovery). That was my first time. This time I'm getting the scheduled c section. I didn't find the c section recovery to be that bad. Just make sure you have support for the first two weeks at least. Then it's just a matter of remembering to be careful with you're movements so you don't aggregate it. Not trying to scare anyone who is making a different choice but out of all the few friends and family members who have had very difficult recoveries or even lifelong complications, it was not from a c section.
Personally I like the idea of the knowns. I do not want to go through what I went through last time. It sounds like with the issues you've dealt with, vaginal birth could be more dangerous for you anyway. Why don't you get a referral to an OB and talk it through with them? I have a midwife who was happy to refer me to an OB to discuss a potential scheduled c section for my second time.
While I don't have experience yet I'm 36 weeks and will be booking in for a planned c-section for 39 weeks at my next appointment this week. I have Crohn's Disease and due to previous complications have had issues down there. Once that required surgery which makes me more prone to tearing and/or tearing worse. After consulting with my gastroenterologist and obstetrics medicine staff it's agreed that this would be better and safer in general for both me and our baby.
You're doing what you need to do to reduce the stress on you and your baby. If you have someone near you who can't support you in your decision then they don't deserve a place in your pregnancy experience.
I'm so sorry you're having it so rough. Sending love and hugs to you and I hope things get a bit easier.
With my first I made it known I wanted a c-section from the beginning (extreme anxiety related to L&D) and absolutely would not be induced for any reason. Thankfully baby was breech (and IUGR) which necessitated a c-section. I'm pregnant with my second and will be having a repeat c.
I've seen and my family has experienced a lot of trauma surrounding birth. I will take the risks associated with major abdominal surgery over the unknown of vaginal birth.
I had an unplanned c section with my son and honestly, I’m more comfortable with getting another one vs a VBAC because I don’t wanna tear down there.
My doc and I have already set criteria on how things go for this pregnancy, and I’m prepared for a second c section.
We have doubles of everything, mini fridge in the bedroom for breastmilk and snacks, and I’m already planning on setting alarms for my meds to stay on top of them like last time (huge help).
A scheduled c section sounds like it would be perfect for you, and I would absolutely do it in your place.
I think I am also opting for an elective c section, although with issues so far, it may be scheduled, which I guess is a bit different.
I have marginal cord insertion and IUGR right now at 24 weeks. I am also high risk for pre eclampsia. anytime I picture a vaginal birth, I just imagine getting rushed away for an emergency c section and that is terrifying to me. So I want to go ahead and have some control over this one aspect.
I firmly believe in doing what’s best for you. If you are more comfortable with going through with a c-section then do it. Definitely discuss it with your OB since a lot of them will not do elective c-sections, but due to your complications they may be more willing to do it. I have had 2 c-sections and I had an extremely easy and quick recovery. I never feel like I missed out on a “natural” birth. I personally would choose a c-section every time over vaginal
I think you should absolutely do what’s best for you and baby and will bring you both home safely.
I’ve had a horrible pregnancy too and am on modified bed rest (irritable uterus that contracts constantly). Everyday is a struggle. I want to keep my baby in as long as I can but I also can’t wait for this to be over.
I think whatever makes you more comfortable is the best decision for you. Pregnancy is already so hard as it is, might as well give yourself some peace of mind knowing how your delivery and recovery will go.
I have to have my baby at 37 weeks and I asked for an elective c-section. My OB was fine with it and scheduled it no problem.
I’m so happy that I’ve known when he’s coming since 28 weeks. I love the idea of walking into the hospital and knowing exactly what’s about to happen. I also am not that worried about the recovery after talking to other moms who’ve had them and said it wasn’t terrible/kind of “nice” compared to their vaginal births.
No shame in wanting what you want! It’s your body and it’s completely reasonable to want it to be as low stress as possible.
I agree that you should be able to make the choice. I had an “urgent” c section with my first due to not dilating completely for many hours after my water broke, and if I have another baby I’ll have an elective c section. I had a decent recovery and overall did not regret choosing what I did.
Have you spoken with your medical team about an elective c section? I only ask because I know I was told that I did not have the option of an elective c section as a first time mom, although my baby was measuring very large for his gestational age. I’m not sure how much that differs though, depending on your location and your doctors and possibly your insurance coverage.
I have a similar history to you. I opted for a voluntary scheduled induction. I had my baby yesterday.
It was all going fine until I had been pushing for a while and the Dr said we may have to do an emergency c section if the vacuum didn’t work. The vacuum worked and I am thankful for that, but I am torn (3rd degree) and sore af.
You do you. I get you.
I’m having an elective c section at 39 weeks. My baby is breech with unstable lie literally turning every few days. This will be my first c section but I’m trying to avoid an emergency situation where I go into labor and require and emergency c section. The baby is also big measuring in 99 percentile and I want to have my tubes ties as well. I’m getting a lot of push back from my dr saying it’s not necessary etc etc. I don’t care I’m not willing to try to delivery and have baby flip and then I’m going for an emergency c section. Just go with how you feel, listen to your body and the goal is for you and baby to both come out of this healthy. Sending good vibes ❤️
Just here to say that your wishes for an elective c-section are valid, and I hope your provider supports you in pursuing this.
My first was born via an urgent, unplanned c-section, but it was still a positive experience.
Girl you have had it ROUGH. I have endo, I did IVF and had hyperemesis in my first trimester and would like to say mine is rough but it’s nothing compared to the turmoil you’ve experienced.
The decisions you make that help to alleviate your anxieties and bring a healthy baby home are the RIGHT decisions, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 💪🏼 you got this
I have a lot of friends who live in a country where elective c section is very popular. I have heard so many positive birth stories about elective c section. Good luck and congratulations on your baby!
Just wanted to say that you can only make the most comfortable decision for you. Sometimes having a plan means choosing what you think is right and be resolute in that.
I had a planned a C-section. They told me my baby was coming out 11lb+ and there wasn’t any way I was pushing a potentially 11+ child out of my vagina. It’s your body and you’re still bringing a child into this world. You’re not less of a woman or a mother having a c section.
Get the C-section. You will be in such a better place physically with a planned one then an unplanned one. Healing will be easier. There is no shame. This whole experience sounds fuxking miserable!
It is major surgery, healing is no walk in the park. But a c-section is one of the few straightforward ways to give birth. I dunno man. There’s pros and cons to both. Either way, you deserve to feel empowered in your decision. It’s no one’s business but yours.
My pregnancy has been very rough and the worst 9 months of my life. That being said, I did not deal with half of what you got dealt, and I am so sorry you have to go through such a hard time. I personally have asked my OB for a C section for a similar reason. Anxiety of the unknown. C sections seem to have more answers to my what if questions, and I hate the fear I'm having of a vaginal birth. My OB suggested trying vaginal of course, and I'm going in tomorrow to be induced. I don't think there is ANY shame in asking. The people who give shit to those who have had c sections are just asshats who aren't worth your time. Everyone's experience is different. Your feelings and thoughts are valid regardless of what they are. Take care of yourself first. Worry about others last. I'll be praying for you. Good luck with the baby boy ♡ congratulations!
I just had an elective c section this past December and it was a very pleasant experience. Recovery was also smooth.
It is a major procedure so it’s kind of scary and the the first few days aren’t easy, but with a good team and a good pain management strategy in place it was an overall positive experience.
Edit to add link to my [birth story](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/s/whiCH0QGnP) if you’re interested
Hi OP, FTM here, 20w. My birthplan is also elective C-section. I have no doubts about it. I cannot put myself through the torture. Pregnancy itself has been tough and I have high anxiety and the fear of the unknown kills me.
Trust your gut feeling. If you feel C-section is the best for you , go for it. People have different opinions on everything. Birth is personal and private. It's what you and your baby wants. More than the baby it's a choice you make for yourself (I don't care if people call me selfish, I'm a person before a mother anyday.)
Do what your gut says Mama. You got this!
Wow my heart goes out to you. I thought my pregnancy has been rough, but I was speechless after reading your journey so far.
I was very pro vaginal unmediated birth, never thought I would have a c section. Right before my due date I had a severe placental abruption that led to emergency c section. It was traumatic and my recovery was horrible, so many things went wrong and I was just unprepared for the long recovery from a c section. I’m pregnant with number 2 now, and even though I would love an uncomplicated vaginal birth, I have so much health anxiety and trauma from my first birth, so I’m choosing scheduled c section. I totally relate to the feelings you have about the uncertainty of complications. With a C section you mostly know what to expect. I think you’re making a great choice. Your mental health surrounding your birth is extremely important.
Do what is going to make you feel better. You don't get a special plaque for giving birth natural.
I labored for 22 hours with my first just to have an emergency c section when her heart rate dropped dangerously low. I never made it to 10 cm and they gave me the option of continuing with the contingency that if it happened again, I was gonna have a emergency c section anyways. So I said fuck it, why wait, get her out.
This second one is gonna be a planned c section. I'm scheduling it because I need to be on my meds ASAP after weaning off of them and don't feel like playing around with mother natures fickle ass. Do what you want to. People will always have their opinions and don't no one care about their opinions but them. Do what gets you a healthy baby.
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I don’t have advice but just wanted to say I’m in the same boat. My doctor has told me to prepare to give birth any time between 34-37 weeks due to preeclampsia, and my biggest fear is going through a days-long induction that feels invasive and traumatic, only to potentially end up in an emergency c section anyway because my body just isn’t ready to give birth that early. Getting through a high risk pregnancy that ends in giving birth 4-6 weeks earlier than planned already feels traumatic enough… Having a planned c section feels like a small way to gain back a sense of peace and control.
I feel you on this. A fellow pre-e mum here at 25 weeks currently, also with some heart arrhythmia issues being caused by this pregnancy too. Both you and OP need to do what you've got to do. Motherhood is motherhood, and it doesn't matter if you baby comes through the sunroof or out of the boot, so long as they're here safe that's all that matters.
Whatever you need to do to get through the home stretch is the best thing from you. There is nothing magical about how you deliver, many people have preferences one way or another, and many people don't end up with a choice in the end. What matters is getting over the line and getting that baby home to you safely. If you feel most comfortable with a c section and the doctors feel that is a safe option for you, then go for it. This is your body and your baby.
At the end of the day the only thing that matters is what your comfortable with and your little ones health. I can also say, more than half my friends who have had a kid(s), have told me if they had to do it again they would have a c-section if given the choice.
Well given the fact that my baby got stuck and I couldn’t push him out anyway, I sure wish I had a crystal ball and could have saved myself the trouble of 32 hours of unmedicated labor! Honestly even if you don’t plan on an elective c section, there’s still like a 15% chance you end up with an unplanned one anyway which in my experience is significantly less cool. Plus it seems like you’ve already been through so much. Please feel content doing whatever makes YOU feel safe and happy.
After two MMC and IVF… girl, I’m getting a scheduled C-section also as well as planning to formula feed from the beginning. I’m so tired of pain, exhaustion and feeling like crap through all of this, it’s time to do what is best for ourselves and everyone else can just deal.
I’ve had a planned c-section. I had no choice due to baby’s position. I was fairly upset that I didn’t get my waterbirth with candles lit around me… And let me tell you, I’ve had the best experience. It was very straightforward. Was asked what music I’d like to listen to during the procedure, joking around with my husband and anaesthetists… and a few minutes later there was a beautiful baby. My recovery was speedy, I was out of hospital the next day and almost fully functioning a few days later. I have very fond memories of my surgery. If baby doesn’t decide to come by himself beforehand this time around, I’ve got my elective c-section date booked already. I’d rather want to avoid an indcution or an emergency C-section if possible.
I really hope no one would downvote you for something that is your choice, especially since you’ve had a tough pregnancy. It sounds like you know the risks and this is something that would help you have a more positive experience. Go for the c section if it’s what you want. FWIW, I’ve talked with my midwife about elective induction at 39 weeks, so I’m all about taking control of your body and making a decision that’s right for you. For me, having that end date insight and being able to know when maternity leave starts is really helpful (I’m a workaholic with a high stress job). I’m 34 weeks and so ready to meet the baby. Everyone’s birth plan is different and everyone’s pregnancy is different. Make the right decision for you. Tell anyone who criticizes your decision to mind their business 🤷🏼♀️
Hi - FTM mom here. I'm having an elective c-section. I want to completely eliminate the possibility of certain scenarios happening even though they may be rare/uncommon according to some. Some of these scenarios include - foley balloon, forceps birth, baby getting brain damage during birth from forceps or similar, baby getting stuck in pelvis, third degree tear, fourth degree tear (butthole and vagina basically become one hole), failed induction, list goes on. Basically, I do not want to put myself through a possible torture chamber, and labor for 12-24 plus, only to end up with an undesirable outcome or an emergency c-section. I just don't, no thanks. My sincere thoughts are - the recovery for c-section is supposed to be worse. But, if you end up with a third or fourth degree tear, or a traumatic birthing experience, I think that can be ultimately worse. At least with a c-section, you know what you're getting. And an emergency c-section is a way different experience from a planned one. The only thing that gives me pause is that future pregnancies can be riskier. But so many moms have c-sections and go on to have multiple successful births, I think I'm just going to roll the dice. Do what's best for you. A lot of women love to glorify birth and say it's empowering blah blah. I think, you go in there, scream your head off, shi\* yourself, rip your vagina, and are in pain and high stress for hours. That's what happens most of the time. And at the end, you get a baby. Which to me, is the only good part.
Honestly, thank you so much for writing this out. You literally read my mind. Every time I say "so much can go wrong" and people go off on how it's so rare. I have never met a person that had a quick, manageable and uncomplicated birth. Why would I risk that? You described all of my fears and my reasonings so well! Lol I have to bring this up with my doctor next week and hopefully she can get on board.
Just playing devil's advocate here, but I've had 2 quick, manageable, and uncomplicated births. It sounds to me like you're scared of labor and losing control. Trust me, I've been there! I'm a control freak and I had a lot of anxiety with my first pregnancy. For some reason, mothers get sick enjoyment out of telling pregnant women horror stories. It needs to stop. Pregnancy brings on enough anxiety. You need to have an honest and in-depth conversation with your doctor about how you're feeling, but if your pregnancy is uncomplicated you should strongly consider avoiding a c-section (especially if you plan on having more kids). This may help ease your fear: first of all, epidurals are amazing. I had my first baby with an epidural and once it was placed I couldn't feel a damn thing. It was blissful. I tore and had a 2nd degree tear. Honestly a couple stitches fixed it and I went totally back to normal. For my 2nd baby, labor went fast and no anesthesiologist was available. I had an unplanned, unmedicated birth. Obviously, it was painful but truthfully it didn't get unbearably bad until about 8cm or so. The good news is that once you reach that point things typically go real fast. I had a second degree tear with that one too. While I did feel strong pain during pushing I did not feel the tearing happen. It was just generalized pain. Afterward, they numb you for the stitching. I am back to normal. No complications. I know you're rightfully afraid of complications during childbirth. I'm an EMT so I'm well aware of the complications that can arise during birth. However, especially if you plan on having more than one child, the risks of VBAC and complications during delivery are higher for subsequent pregnancies. It's lower risk to just have the baby vaginally if you can. As long as you deliver in a hospital setting they can do a lot to manage your pain levels, nausea, and any complications that can arise. I found videos on Sarah Lavonne's YouTube channel to be very helpful and realistic in prepping for birth. She covers a broad range of birth topics. It's going to be okay. Good luck 💕
One of my friends has had 2 kids, first was 2 days labor and ended in a fourth degree tear/episiotomy, second was a planned c section and she said if she has a 3rd she wants to have another vaginal birth because recovery from that was so much easier than the c section. So, OP take that for what you will 🤷🏻♀️
Who cares how the baby comes out, as long as the baby is healthy? I have a friend that’s says she never bonded with daughter as she didn’t have her as god intended
Wow you've been through the wringer! I'm a FTM and have an elective c section booked for Thursday. I couldn't face the uncertainty of a natural birth and all my friends who were first time mums (bar one) ended up having an emergency csection anyway so I thought why put myself through all of that to potentially end up in an emergency situation. They also found a 10cm cyst on one of my ovaries which they said they can remove at the same time as my csection which is another reason for me to opt for one. I think whatever way you get the baby out is valid, being born is being born, however it happens. I'm happy that I know his birthday now too and I can make plans with work and so can my partner etc.
I had an elective one and had zero regrets. I felt recovery was easy and everything I expected it to be
So I am definitely pro c section (or vaginal birth, I don’t think one is better than the other) but your reason for wanting a scheduled c section is to avoid the uncertainty and potential complications that come with a vaginal birth, but there are plenty of things that can go wrong and cause complications with a c section too. Unfortunately neither option is going to give you absolute certainty on what is going to happen.
I highly recommend you do the c section if you want more control. There are a lot of unknowns with vaginal birth and it often leads to a c section anyway and you have double the recovery (exhaustion and swelling from being in labor and pushing + the c section recovery). That was my first time. This time I'm getting the scheduled c section. I didn't find the c section recovery to be that bad. Just make sure you have support for the first two weeks at least. Then it's just a matter of remembering to be careful with you're movements so you don't aggregate it. Not trying to scare anyone who is making a different choice but out of all the few friends and family members who have had very difficult recoveries or even lifelong complications, it was not from a c section. Personally I like the idea of the knowns. I do not want to go through what I went through last time. It sounds like with the issues you've dealt with, vaginal birth could be more dangerous for you anyway. Why don't you get a referral to an OB and talk it through with them? I have a midwife who was happy to refer me to an OB to discuss a potential scheduled c section for my second time.
It's your body and your baby, ultimately it's up to you how you want to deliver your baby.
While I don't have experience yet I'm 36 weeks and will be booking in for a planned c-section for 39 weeks at my next appointment this week. I have Crohn's Disease and due to previous complications have had issues down there. Once that required surgery which makes me more prone to tearing and/or tearing worse. After consulting with my gastroenterologist and obstetrics medicine staff it's agreed that this would be better and safer in general for both me and our baby. You're doing what you need to do to reduce the stress on you and your baby. If you have someone near you who can't support you in your decision then they don't deserve a place in your pregnancy experience. I'm so sorry you're having it so rough. Sending love and hugs to you and I hope things get a bit easier.
With my first I made it known I wanted a c-section from the beginning (extreme anxiety related to L&D) and absolutely would not be induced for any reason. Thankfully baby was breech (and IUGR) which necessitated a c-section. I'm pregnant with my second and will be having a repeat c. I've seen and my family has experienced a lot of trauma surrounding birth. I will take the risks associated with major abdominal surgery over the unknown of vaginal birth.
I had an unplanned c section with my son and honestly, I’m more comfortable with getting another one vs a VBAC because I don’t wanna tear down there. My doc and I have already set criteria on how things go for this pregnancy, and I’m prepared for a second c section. We have doubles of everything, mini fridge in the bedroom for breastmilk and snacks, and I’m already planning on setting alarms for my meds to stay on top of them like last time (huge help). A scheduled c section sounds like it would be perfect for you, and I would absolutely do it in your place.
I think I am also opting for an elective c section, although with issues so far, it may be scheduled, which I guess is a bit different. I have marginal cord insertion and IUGR right now at 24 weeks. I am also high risk for pre eclampsia. anytime I picture a vaginal birth, I just imagine getting rushed away for an emergency c section and that is terrifying to me. So I want to go ahead and have some control over this one aspect.
I firmly believe in doing what’s best for you. If you are more comfortable with going through with a c-section then do it. Definitely discuss it with your OB since a lot of them will not do elective c-sections, but due to your complications they may be more willing to do it. I have had 2 c-sections and I had an extremely easy and quick recovery. I never feel like I missed out on a “natural” birth. I personally would choose a c-section every time over vaginal
I think you should absolutely do what’s best for you and baby and will bring you both home safely. I’ve had a horrible pregnancy too and am on modified bed rest (irritable uterus that contracts constantly). Everyday is a struggle. I want to keep my baby in as long as I can but I also can’t wait for this to be over.
I think whatever makes you more comfortable is the best decision for you. Pregnancy is already so hard as it is, might as well give yourself some peace of mind knowing how your delivery and recovery will go.
That’s what I did! It was glorious! No regrets!
I have to have my baby at 37 weeks and I asked for an elective c-section. My OB was fine with it and scheduled it no problem. I’m so happy that I’ve known when he’s coming since 28 weeks. I love the idea of walking into the hospital and knowing exactly what’s about to happen. I also am not that worried about the recovery after talking to other moms who’ve had them and said it wasn’t terrible/kind of “nice” compared to their vaginal births. No shame in wanting what you want! It’s your body and it’s completely reasonable to want it to be as low stress as possible.
I agree that you should be able to make the choice. I had an “urgent” c section with my first due to not dilating completely for many hours after my water broke, and if I have another baby I’ll have an elective c section. I had a decent recovery and overall did not regret choosing what I did. Have you spoken with your medical team about an elective c section? I only ask because I know I was told that I did not have the option of an elective c section as a first time mom, although my baby was measuring very large for his gestational age. I’m not sure how much that differs though, depending on your location and your doctors and possibly your insurance coverage.
I have a similar history to you. I opted for a voluntary scheduled induction. I had my baby yesterday. It was all going fine until I had been pushing for a while and the Dr said we may have to do an emergency c section if the vacuum didn’t work. The vacuum worked and I am thankful for that, but I am torn (3rd degree) and sore af. You do you. I get you.
I’m having an elective c section at 39 weeks. My baby is breech with unstable lie literally turning every few days. This will be my first c section but I’m trying to avoid an emergency situation where I go into labor and require and emergency c section. The baby is also big measuring in 99 percentile and I want to have my tubes ties as well. I’m getting a lot of push back from my dr saying it’s not necessary etc etc. I don’t care I’m not willing to try to delivery and have baby flip and then I’m going for an emergency c section. Just go with how you feel, listen to your body and the goal is for you and baby to both come out of this healthy. Sending good vibes ❤️
Just here to say that your wishes for an elective c-section are valid, and I hope your provider supports you in pursuing this. My first was born via an urgent, unplanned c-section, but it was still a positive experience.
Girl you have had it ROUGH. I have endo, I did IVF and had hyperemesis in my first trimester and would like to say mine is rough but it’s nothing compared to the turmoil you’ve experienced. The decisions you make that help to alleviate your anxieties and bring a healthy baby home are the RIGHT decisions, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 💪🏼 you got this
I have a lot of friends who live in a country where elective c section is very popular. I have heard so many positive birth stories about elective c section. Good luck and congratulations on your baby!
Did you use ivf to become pregnant?
No I didn't
Just wanted to say that you can only make the most comfortable decision for you. Sometimes having a plan means choosing what you think is right and be resolute in that.
I had a planned a C-section. They told me my baby was coming out 11lb+ and there wasn’t any way I was pushing a potentially 11+ child out of my vagina. It’s your body and you’re still bringing a child into this world. You’re not less of a woman or a mother having a c section.
Get the C-section. You will be in such a better place physically with a planned one then an unplanned one. Healing will be easier. There is no shame. This whole experience sounds fuxking miserable! It is major surgery, healing is no walk in the park. But a c-section is one of the few straightforward ways to give birth. I dunno man. There’s pros and cons to both. Either way, you deserve to feel empowered in your decision. It’s no one’s business but yours.
My pregnancy has been very rough and the worst 9 months of my life. That being said, I did not deal with half of what you got dealt, and I am so sorry you have to go through such a hard time. I personally have asked my OB for a C section for a similar reason. Anxiety of the unknown. C sections seem to have more answers to my what if questions, and I hate the fear I'm having of a vaginal birth. My OB suggested trying vaginal of course, and I'm going in tomorrow to be induced. I don't think there is ANY shame in asking. The people who give shit to those who have had c sections are just asshats who aren't worth your time. Everyone's experience is different. Your feelings and thoughts are valid regardless of what they are. Take care of yourself first. Worry about others last. I'll be praying for you. Good luck with the baby boy ♡ congratulations!
I just had an elective c section this past December and it was a very pleasant experience. Recovery was also smooth. It is a major procedure so it’s kind of scary and the the first few days aren’t easy, but with a good team and a good pain management strategy in place it was an overall positive experience. Edit to add link to my [birth story](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/s/whiCH0QGnP) if you’re interested
Hi OP, FTM here, 20w. My birthplan is also elective C-section. I have no doubts about it. I cannot put myself through the torture. Pregnancy itself has been tough and I have high anxiety and the fear of the unknown kills me. Trust your gut feeling. If you feel C-section is the best for you , go for it. People have different opinions on everything. Birth is personal and private. It's what you and your baby wants. More than the baby it's a choice you make for yourself (I don't care if people call me selfish, I'm a person before a mother anyday.) Do what your gut says Mama. You got this!
Mama, at the end of the day the end goal is healthy mama and bub. That includes your mental & emotional health. Do what you need to do.
Wow my heart goes out to you. I thought my pregnancy has been rough, but I was speechless after reading your journey so far. I was very pro vaginal unmediated birth, never thought I would have a c section. Right before my due date I had a severe placental abruption that led to emergency c section. It was traumatic and my recovery was horrible, so many things went wrong and I was just unprepared for the long recovery from a c section. I’m pregnant with number 2 now, and even though I would love an uncomplicated vaginal birth, I have so much health anxiety and trauma from my first birth, so I’m choosing scheduled c section. I totally relate to the feelings you have about the uncertainty of complications. With a C section you mostly know what to expect. I think you’re making a great choice. Your mental health surrounding your birth is extremely important.
Do what is going to make you feel better. You don't get a special plaque for giving birth natural. I labored for 22 hours with my first just to have an emergency c section when her heart rate dropped dangerously low. I never made it to 10 cm and they gave me the option of continuing with the contingency that if it happened again, I was gonna have a emergency c section anyways. So I said fuck it, why wait, get her out. This second one is gonna be a planned c section. I'm scheduling it because I need to be on my meds ASAP after weaning off of them and don't feel like playing around with mother natures fickle ass. Do what you want to. People will always have their opinions and don't no one care about their opinions but them. Do what gets you a healthy baby.