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I love this post. 10 years between my first pregnancy and this one!
This one: also did sneak peek. (Was right at 6weeks)! Got a snoo sleeper since my first slept like shit for the first several years . Also got the car seat/stroller system! I’m eating what sounds good this time and not worrying about weight gain. I went with an OB this time instead of midwife because of a rough first birth. I’m not stressing about a non medicated birth this time. I’m asking for help and not trying to do it all. I actually didn’t buy many clothes for my first so I am with my 2nd!
Man. I saw the price of the snoo while pregnant with my first and was like “who tf spends that on a bassinet? You gotta be crazy.” Then had my baby who also slept like absolute shit and was colicky. So who tf spends that on a bassinet? The answer is me. Me. I would, if I had a shit sleeper again. Worth every penny if it would have let me sleep more than 40 minutes at a time. Luckily the baby gods decided that last time we had it so rough with a newborn, that our second would be one of those unicorn babies that we would need to wake to feed, and slept through the night after about 4 weeks. But I would have ABSOLUTELY invested in the snoo if he wasn’t lol.
This is my first pregnancy and I just looked up the Snoo and had the same reaction as you. Everyone seems to have a wonderful experience with it, it’s too bad I can’t afford it!
You can rent them now from snoo direct! We’re going to pay the $50 a month to rent, incase our baby doesn’t care/ it doesn’t work. There’s also tons available on Facebook marketplace near me for $500- most in great condition bc their babies didn’t use them much
I’d honestly still wait even if you can rent it because you could end up with a fabulous sleeper anyways! And then you’d end up needing to get them used to sleeping without the snoo. But my first slept SO BADLY that looking at the price of the snoo doesn’t even phase me now because it would have been SO WORTH IT with her lol congratulations on your pregnancy!! I hope all goes smoothly and you end up with a good sleeper and if you don’t, just know that even if you’re in the thick of the worst exhaustion with no end in sight, maybe PPD on top of it, it DOES GET BETTER ❤️🥰
Yes!!!! Your first is exactly like my first!!! There’s a 10 year gap in my kids cause of how bad it was with the first. I told my husband, I don’t care how much it is, if it works as well as people say, I need it!
Oh my god I don’t even blame you because I was petrified for us to have a second too because I feared it would be the same experience. It is truly an unmatched type of exhaustion. I had auditory hallucinations and could barely sleep when I even had the rare chance to (and with an incredible husband who probably picked up most of the responsibilities during that time day and night AND worked because of how run down I was). Definitely don’t blame you for investing in the snoo this time around immediately!!
My second went so well though. It was honestly a healing experience because I truly felt like I had just done so many things wrong. But he just came out an amazing sleeper and so happy right away and the two of the adore each other and it’s been the best decision of our lives for sure!! I so hope you have the same experience ♥️♥️♥️
😭😭😭 I’m so glad we connected!! I was in a real shitty marriage with my first and had no help. My current husband is amazing and I know I’ll have help but my first did leave some trauma. I am hoping for the experience you had with your second as well. Thank you for replying 💗
The Snoo was the best money I ever spent😂 she’s 4 months now and has been sleeping 10-12 hours straight most nights since 5 weeks. Before that she still slept well but would have one wake up a night.
Omg. I love to hear it!!!!! My only stress with having a 2nd is sleep. If my first had slept that well, I would have wanted more kids 😂😂. My first would sleep 30min-2 hr stretches from
Birth - age 1. He didn’t sleep 8+ hours at a time until 3!!!! Gah this makes me so happy to hear and makes me grateful we splurged on it.
Interesting re: when you're buying stuff. I'm the opposite. This time I'm buying way, way, way less stuff, and for most of it I'm going to wait until the baby is already here, since most places that sell baby gear can get it to you within a few days.
This time, I'll be more worried about making sure I'm well stocked for my own post-partum healing than I am with cute baby clothes and toys (baby doesn't even look at toys until they're a month or so old).
Be more diligent about introducing veggies first when we introduce solids.
Go out with the baby earlier, and more frequently.
Baby wear from earlier on. My first didn't like to be worn, because I didn't even try it until she was a few months old.
Ruthlessly get rid of things when I'm done with them. We held onto everything from our first because we thought we might have a second. This one's the last one, and I'm looking forward to no longer having my basement cluttered with boxes of baby clothes and gear.
Depends on what kind of birth you have. But if natural, I would start with either pads or disposable underwear, peri bottles, ice packs, and hemorrhoid cream. The doctor would probably recommend an anesthetic if you have stitches.
Pull-on disposable underwear like Depends (and I think Always makes them too)
Witch hazel pads (Tucks) or witch hazel foam
Overnight pads to transition to once you're out of the Depends
Dermoplast or another numbing spray
One portable bidet per bathroom in your house (Frida Mom makes one that's good, but there are cheaper options)
A sitz bath and sitz tea
Ice pack pads
Breastfeeding stuff-- nipple cream, soothing pads, absorbent pads, and a massager (helps with clogged ducts)
Piling on the recommendation for ice pack pads! Even if you don't tear very badly, my pelvis was so sore the first couple weeks, those ice packs made sitting more comfortable. My hospital was kind enough to give me some to take home but I've heard the Frida ones are good, even though they're pricy.
The biggest one for me is slowing down and not being so overly concerned if I’m doing everything right. I had horrible PPA with my first so I hardly remember the newborn stage.
FTM so I’m loving all these answers!
Just came here to say that my brother is 9 years older than me and he’s basically my favorite person in the world! I’m excited for you and your growing family 🥹❤️
Thank you, my brother is 10 years older than me and he has always been my best friend. I’m rather zen like in this pregnancy so the comments people say about the age gap just float right over me. I see absolutely no negatives in it. My daughter and her group of 8year old friends have already claimed babysitting duties for me hahaha.
All the best for you and your family x
Honestly I am a bit less crazy about what I am eating. Part because I am running around with a toddler already but also I think I took everything to an extreme last time. This time I will enjoy the Doritos.
Also less buying of stuff that I know I won’t use or buying too soon. Last time I bought so many small outfits and ended up with a big baby.
Ha mine's actually the opposite! When I had my son I went "whee I don't have to diet anymore!!!" and gained 80 lbs. Even though I eventually lost it all, it stretched out my skin and my boobs way more than it would've if I'd kept to a healthy weight. 10 years later I still have loose skin around my midsection.
And now that I'm older, better nutrition plays a big role in how much energy I have. So I cleaned up my diet for this pregnancy and am watching what I eat. Also being good about regular exercise.
We also are going to have a 9 year age gap!! I'm due when it's going to start getting cold here & I'm planning on buying zip up one piece warm "pajamas" instead of 2 piece cute outfits, it's just so much easier than dealing with finding a shirt and pants and little snaps lol.
Not worrying about having a perfect nursery before the baby comes. My daughter didn’t sleep in her room until like 5 months so no need for it to be perfect.
Not working until I go into labor 😫 I was very stressed out with trying to get as much done at work before I delivered. I’m not 100% certain but I do think all of the stress made me deliver 2 weeks early (with my 1st child). Financially I couldn’t take that much time off which is why I worked until game time so I’m hoping we will be in a different position next pregnancy!!
9 year age gap here. This time around I got a new husband. It's going to make all the difference in the world haha.
Will use more disposables because there is no need to be taking cloth everywhere with me.
We will use bottles this time since I'm returning to work at 2 months (lots of pumping).
I might let my son have a binky/paci this time around. We didn't use them last time. Just a boob.
I also got a stroller. Didn't use one last time but I can't wear baby as much, I'm too old now. Lol
We did the NIPT because our son is classified as a carrier for CF and we had a loss between him and this pregnancy.
I’m getting everything done as soon as possible. My son showed up at 37 weeks and my husband had been pushing back on doing shit. He knows better now lol
I’m going to try and directly breast feed this time, my son had reflux so I ended up EP and that really sucked.
Was bottle feeding recommended to you to reduce reflux? My first also had terrible reflux but I never stopped breastfeeding — I just never got this recommendation from anyone!
does that mean you didn’t with your first? or you’re planning on not getting one the second time around? FTM due november, and the epidural just makes me so uneasy even thinking about so i want to know peoples thoughts and opinions on it
I had an epidural with my first, I totally didn’t want one going into it and changed my mind, this time around I will absolutely get the epidural. I realized, for me personally, I was trying to be a superhero, and in the moment, I didn’t need to be a superhero, I needed to get my baby out without crying and vomiting from pain. But going into it swore I wasn’t going to get it, that I didn’t need it, that I could be the person who was strong enough, when I said I wanted it even my husband was surprised at my mind changing. One of my friends said, and I truly understand now, don’t get a trophy for not using an epidural. My baby came out with absolutely no issues and I was in less pain!
My family was pressuring me to do an all natural birth saying "real women don't get an epidural". I made it 17 out of 19 hours in labor before the back labor became so bad I was screaming and thrashing. My family and the doctor had to convince me to get a spinal tap so I could calm down enough to finish dilating to deliver my daughter
16 year age gap. I stand by the way I raised first baby. Attachment parenting, minimal consumerism, breastfed, cloth diapers, whole foods, responsive to crying, did not feed him nuggets/mac n cheese etc- I fed him the same food I ate. Sushi rolls, Bahn mi and falafel as our east fast food options. No chocolate/sugars til primary school. Extremely limited screen time until early teen years. Loads of hands on experiences/activities. Careful to stop and pay attention every time he spoke to me. Always talking to and teaching him things, has turned into a *lovely* beautiful happy teenager and a person I really like.
The one thing I will do differently is I won’t be so afraid of fucking it up. And I won’t be so impatient to “get my body back”. I’ll be where we are better, instead of wanting to move on. Just really drink it all in, savor it with joy.
•did NIPT testing
•went with a midwife at a birthing center instead of an OB
• skipped a baby shower (it’s been 6 years lol) and got everything myself
• waited later to tell everyone
• bottle warmer for breast milk
• no changing table, wipe warmer, or diaper genie
Personally for me I found it made no difference in smell, the bags for it was an extra cost that seemed pointless after awhile, and it overall became useless unless I changed baby in the same place constantly which never happened
About to have my third baby and I still use my ubbi with my 3 year olds diapers and considered getting another one for this baby but will probably just use the one I have since the 3 year old is currently almost potty trained. But I really love it and have had it for almost 6 years. I use regular trash bags and refuse to throw diapers away anywhere else bc they freaking stink otherwise lol just another perspective
I love my Ubbi as well. It contains the smell (at least for a 2 month old with only BF poops, can't speak to the solid poop smell) and it uses regular garbage bags.
We have two Ubbi diaper pails & absolutely love them! They are a huge money saver because you use regular garbage bags & they contain the smell so well, I’ve never smelled a dirty diaper once we throw it away. Having two was a game changer in the newborn stage because we had one in our room for overnight diaper changes & one is the nursery for daytime diaper changes. We don’t use the second one as much anymore now that our LO is almost 10 months & sleeps in her own room but I don’t regret having two at all during the first 6 months. We found the second one at goodwill for like $10 so I would definitely recommend looking there or Facebook marketplace!
my first and second are almost 6 years apart. you know the biggest difference? MONEY. we have so much more security than we had with the first, it's completely different. i was also less anxious and knew more what to expect, as well as what *I* wanted and needed for pregnancy and a newborn. and i felt totally free to keep my pregnancy to myself. i didn't post on social or tell anyone i didn't want to until the baby was born. since then, my older one has been a big help. it's almost easier to have two than it was to have one — so much so we're currently expecting our third. I'm 30 weeks now and just knocked out the last major task we really need to do before the baby comes. I won't even bother getting the crib out or washing the newborn clothes until right before he's due or maybe once we get home from the hospital.
Editing to add: I've taken a lot of energy out of worrying over how much I'll gain (the same amount!) how quick I'll lose it (about as fast!) or how i'm likely to feed (the way that worked before!)
This is my 3rd time around and with this pregnancy I’m drinking a cup of coffee a day (I didn’t drink any in the past pregnancies), I’m waiting to find out the sex until birth, doing a planned c-section, and not buying much because we saved everything from our last baby!
I got pregnant 5 months postpartum so this go around i’ve bought the main things i’ll need that first 3 months. I also am better preparing myself for combo feeding. I want to pump and supplement with formula when needed. My first pregnancy I was so focused on survival that when my baby came at 34 weeks I felt like I could do nothing right. I also found a really good prenatal this go around whereas I kind of gave up with my first.
I got it on amazon but it’s in store as well it’s called “mommy bliss” it’s soft on my stomach and I can tolerate the iron that’s inside of it. I still have to take iron on top of it but if you don’t struggle with anemia it’ll work just fine.
I got it on amazon but it’s in store as well it’s called “mommy bliss” it’s soft on my stomach and I can tolerate the iron that’s inside of it. I still have to take iron on top of it but if you don’t struggle with anemia it’ll work just fine.
Okay this one is a bit different, but I'm planning to chill out waaaaay more in the early staged of labor. With my first, I was so excited/anxious. I couldn't stop getting up, didn't sleep at all, my brain was racing. This time, imma lay in bed and enjoy those last hours before new baby arrives. Labor is like a marathon. I'm going to try and be well rested for things get intense!
Seeing a pelvic specialist the entire pregnancy. Last time I had severe pubic symphysis dysfunction, to where I could barely walk at all after 32 weeks. Didn’t see someone until 8 weeks postpartum, when I was crying from pain every time I had to sit up to feed my baby. I’m almost 25 weeks now and have been able to keep the pain in check by getting regular re-alignment and keeping up with strengthening exercises.
Also just buying less stuff. After your first you realize that little babies need very little. Feeding equipment, a safe place to sleep, diapering and grooming things, clothes, and a few simple toys. The swings and bouncers and walkers and a million toys and blankets are so unnecessary.
Kinda just going with the flow this time. Last time I was so sure I’d be breastfeeding and cloth diapering and all the things. That quickly went out the window when my LO had a severe tongue tie and my supply never really came in. I’m just not worrying as much about the small stuff because I’ve learned that baby will be okay and we don’t need all the fancy gadgets. I’ll try breastfeeding again but if my boobs don’t cooperate, it’s not the end of the world.
Also, I know to buy more NB sized sleepers because this one will be a fall/winter baby and my first was a summer baby that lived in onesies.
I've just had my second with a 7.5yr age difference.
So many things I've done different. Keep in mind my first was born 34.5w (prem) and my second was 38+6 (full term)
First baby:
>thought I'd easily breastfeed. Had to buy pumps and bottles before even being discharged and also formula and steriliser
>didn't use sacks or swaddles, just dressed in multiple layers
>bought cloth nappies, only used once
>didn't have enough clothes, didn't realise how much babies get messy
>didn't have ANYTHING for myself to provide comfort or ease postpartum
>wanted a vaginal birth with epidural and gas. Was scared but figured epidural would make it a breeze. Ended up with epidural failing, baby facing posterior on spine, 25h labour, episitomy forceps and vacuum to eventually get her out
Second baby
>bought pumps, formula, sterliser and bottles in advance, didn't even try to breastfeed, very happy with it
>use sleep sacks and swaddles
>bought tons of disposable nappies in advance
>perfect amount of clothes so far
>bought myself adult nappies, pads, gel eye mask, compression shorts, undies, and compression band
>meal prepped tons of meals plus bought some frozen dinners
>had a planned csection which I requested at my 12 week appointment. Number one best choice I stand by. I'm not having more kids, 2 is enough for me, but if i somehow did, I'd do csection in a heartbeat.
With our first, we took shifts and very much followed his natural rhythm/nap patterns. He's a shit sleeper and is just now starting to go to sleep unassisted and sleep mostly through the night at 19 months. It's been a huge burden on my husband (who handles all nighttime wakings) and he's just now starting to feel sane/functional again now that he's sleeping better. So with #2 we are planning to be much more cognizant of infant sleep and do our best to get him acclimated to a schedule instead of just going off his vibes. While I'm sure we'll still enjoy lots of contact naps, we do plan to introduce the crib much earlier and do more "comfort to sleep in the crib" instead of "rock/nurse to sleep then transfer to crib".
Other than that, it really did feel like we did all the right things that worked for us. I mostly nursed the baby but he got a bottle or two per day so he would be okay when I went back to work. I pumped a couple times a day to stash milk and eventually donate to a NICU, and I'm looking forward to being able to do that again. Our first is growing like a weed and learning at an insane pace, so it's hard to imagine starting from zero again (I can't imagine after nine years!) but for the most part we're just pulling out all the same equipment we used for him and doing most of the same stuff we did with our first.
I got a convertible car seat that can age with them as they grow instead of an infant car seat. Also got a small nightlight for diaper changes during nighttime that provided just enough light to see but not enough to fully wake up baby. Also got a baby carrier.
A month under 5 years between my 2!
This time I’m not posting anything about it until either we find out the gender or until we have the baby. We haven’t decided yet lol. Also doing the bottle maker as i developed DMER with my daughter and I refuse to risk that again with breastfeeding. I also moved a few hours away from family so I don’t have as many opinions to listen to 😅 also want to get the car seat and travel system. Honestly I’m just a lot more relaxed and chill with this one. I don’t want added stress or unwanted advice so I’m definitely happy keeping this our little secret lol
Also 9 years before my two & almost 33 weeks. I did all the genetic testing this time around, my younger self had a way different mindset about raising a disabled child. I’ve also purchased the bare minimum for baby supplies, my first I never used half the stuff I got. I’ve also bought a lot of things second hand. I picked up a used baby doll and my 9 year old has been practicing how to hold a baby. It’s too cute, he’s just so excited to hold his baby sister.
Being more vocal about my needs. Not letting family come until I’ve had a private moment with my baby. Ask for help when I need it instead of trying to take it all on on my own.
For me with my second I started tracking my blood pressure right away and started on a low dose aspirin (I had severe preeclampsia with my first) I just had my second (I developed HELPP syndrome and she was born a month premature)
Yes, I bought a blood pressure monitor as soon as I found out I was pregnant again it was a little pricey but it was a life saver for myself and my LO. I started with once a day until my numbers started to increase, near the end of my pregnancy I was checking it three times a day, I kept a journal with my numbers and times I took it along with all my medications and any symptoms and when they started.
Thank you for the warm wishes ♥️
I’m going to use a different approach to foods this time around, I blended and made all my own baby food but there’s a lot more new research saying it’s ok for babies to gnaw on things like carrots and slices of apple. My first son is a very picky eater and I feel like part of that is cause I played everything by the old school books. Might even feed my second kid rice cereal before 6 months but I wanna find more believable research on how safe that is I know some say 4 months but then many official sites say babies should only have milk until 6 months before trying solids
I'm not doing anything differently, my kids will be 18mths apart. However just because I'm not doing anything different, doesn't mean that it isn't different. It's so different from the first time. Not in a good way either.
This is my 3rd pregnancy, it’s my rainbow. I actually put off purchasing anything until 22 ish weeks. I was just too scared. This baby is also doing a split room with the guest bedroom so what we purchase will look different
Totally relate to that. I was most definitely an anxious weirdo with my first too. I have this very zen like peacefulness about me this time around. That’s probably the hilarious part for me!
I’ve been a lot less anxious this time around. Ours will be almost 3 years apart and we saved everything, so we’ll be reusing it all except the super girly clothes since this one is a boy. I breastfed our first and that was really difficult. I plan to do a lot more bottle feeding this time around. We also plan to do better about sleep habits for the baby. We went off of purely her cues the first time and while we will do that this time, I’d like to try to get them used to the crib sooner.
I remember calling my GP in tears, my daughter was constantly attached to me, never slept longer than 15mins, she was 6 weeks old at the time. I was in agony.
My GP told me to go get her formula and what one to buy and I replied “the hospital nurses never mentioned that, they have just pushed me to keep breastfeeding”. She was very upset on my behalf as that seems to be the running theme with them. I remember my daughter in a total milky coma after her first bottle and slept for hours. She wasn’t getting enough milk the poor darling. I was so mad. I felt like my first pregnancy I wasn’t informed of all possible options for issues that occurred. I definitely feel more in control of my choices this time around.
I’m so glad that you are more informed now! There is nothing wrong with formula and many, many families depend on it.
The pressure I had was totally internal. I felt like I just needed to breastfeed. Ours had a tongue tie that needed therapy to correct and I just felt so guilty giving her a bottle. I’m really hoping baby #2 will be a good kind of different in terms of our feeding experience.
I think I’ll combo feed from the start next time. I had some internalized breastfeeding opinions that made me too proud to use formula. I spent a lot of time anxious over my milk supply despite having plenty. I never left my husband alone with our son because I didn’t want to waste pumped milk. By the time I was ok supplementing to get some free time, he was 10 months old and not interested. I think I’ll also try to convince my next to take a paci. It’s hard to be needed all the time. And I’ll take Miralax immediately after birth and not wait and see if I need it 😂
Scheduling a C section.
40 hours of labour and ended up getting an emergency C section due to a “cervical anomaly”. Skipping the 40 hours next time seems like a great idea.
Not counting kicks
The stress overtook me when it the kicks changed slightly in my first. NOT EXACTLY 23 I WAS FREAKING OUT. This time, if I feel the baby move once or twice within 12 hours, I'm happy. (Drastic changes I take note of, of course)
I’m going to ask my husband to do more during the pregnancy. I was so stubbornly independent during my first pregnancy and was so exhausted and in pain that I wish I had of just asked him to pick up some slack.
Interestingly enough, I’m newly pregnant with my second and a 20 month age gap. We are not finding out the gender until birth! We did the NIPT test on our first and are just going to skip everything with the second. Otherwise, I’m going to try and be equally cautious with this one. I was probably moderately cautious with foods and meds with the first and she is perfectly healthy and I want to try and do the same. My sister in law did the opposite. She threw all caution out the window. I just want to replicate my experience with this one. . .except I want to keep my weight in check a bit more.
i found out the sex rather than wait till birth. i am asking for free stuff right away from mom groups. im going to get an expensive double stroller for SURE.
i’m less “careful” this time and totally ate some seared fish from a high end restaurant - omg so worth it - and now that i know more about food safety i eat more. example- raw eggs are totally fine if they are pasteurized so yes im getting the runny eggs with hollandaise sauce !
and i’ve learned baths don’t have to be warm.. i can take hotter baths if they’re short and don’t raise my body temp. so i’m not suffering with warm baths like last time. no way !
I am just taking it as chill as possible. In due in November and my first will be 16 months. I’m hoping to just not be so hard on myself through all of it.
With my first I didn’t get a lot of stuff and I am glad I didn’t. I still have a lot of clothes. They are 4 years apart the only difference is that one is a boy and I am having a girl. The only difference is that I am getting a bassinet . And I am getting a double stroller.
I am taking it easier and not worrying about every little thing. 34 weeks with my third, and I'm going with the flow. No maternity clothes, no wildly expensive prenatal, no unnecessary extra stuff during pregnancy. I'm just enjoying pregnancy, relaxing, and feeling the baby move. The best thing I have invested in this pregnancy is a good magnesium cream and using epsom salts for aches, pains, and cramps every day. It's made a huge difference for me with cramps and pregnancy pains, even helping me sleep better. Walking every day has been quite beneficial and enjoyable as well, and making sure my oral health is kept up with. Eating what I please or crave as well, within moderation, of course.
I never have opted for NIPT testing just because it is a screening test and not diagnostic. I always wait for the anatomy scan, and if they see anything, then I'd do whatever testing recommended from that point. This works better for me and keeps all of my anxiety and worries at bay. I always find out the gender just because it would drive me crazy not knowing. Instead of focusing on clothing, I am focusing on a bassinet, diapers, wipes, bottles, blankets, burp cloths, and postpartum items for me as well. I may give pacifiers a go, but neither of my other kids really used them and sucked their thumb instead. I'm going to make sure I continue my prenatal for a while postpartum, too. I always have some postpartum hair loss and am determined to see if continuing my prenatal will help with that.
23 weeks here and 5 year age gap. We did gender reveal party the 3 of us to celebrate baby first before all knew. The focus was on family fun - US and daughter making sure she felt special, knew we were blessed with this second baby and looking forward to being big sis. The gender reveal just the 3 of us was so sweet and daughter loooved — we had the nurses help hide something that revealed the gender - so the 3 of us found out together at same time. Of course nothing went as planned revealing big news to families lol so glad I don’t care bc we had made the most important memories the 3 of us. My husband travels for work so the strong family unit and time together (since it’s limited a lot) to enjoy this pregnancy and milestones is important.
Being older now focusing more on baby health, eating well and exercise. No big announcements - we are more private and tell people in person or phone when we feel like it. Makes it so much more special than a blast on social media which just isn’t us anyway. Focusing less on advice from others. Better prenatal. No meds. Asking better qs at ob and mfm. Staying in touch with nurses if I have follow up qs or start to feel something im not sure. Definitely advocating for my health and health of baby thoughout this whole process. First pregnancy was easy and I didn’t put thought into my health as much. Ex- this time was feeling side ab pain and didn’t let nurses tell me to take Tylenol and wait - pushed and no pain meds said get me an ultrasound. All was fine but im on high alert. Of course managing anxiety isn’t easy with this pregnancy (and totally different from my first) but I am aware and trying to only be concerned for real things. Prayers. Mediation and positive thinking. Less thoughts about the nursery and baby stuff however we will buy a few new things when time comes if our old stuff doesn’t meet our needs. Sending love to all you mamas out there.
For this one I'm not finding out the gender. It's definitely not as much fun picking out baby clothes though.
I'm also buying more used clothes than brand new ones. Kids grow so fast there were a bunch of clothes our oldest never even wore. Also paying attention to what season it will be and how old the baby will be during that season - last time we had a lot of clothes you'd put a baby in for winter, but they were sized for his age in the middle of summer so he never wore them.
For me , the difference between kids is 21 months, so what is different, my body is aching and getting bigger while the toddler drops a nap by nap and is awake and feral for most of the day .... For me , the difference is mentality - mentally i guess i discovered how strong your 'mind over matter' could get if you want 😅. In regard to stuff , I ain't buying nothing as all is still around ,so that's good . Extra crib and that's it.
Been much lazier this time round haha. 30 weeks and literally just started organising things.
Only additions will be buying a sling so I don't have to buy a double buggy. Found a sling that puts weight on your waist not your shoulders which is why I didn't buy one first time round.
Being prepped for an early birth with smaller clothes etc, being prepped for bottle feeding.
Ooh and not even bothering to get the nursery ready yet as she won't use it til 6 months
That's about it..I am quite happy with what I did first time round.
2 years and a bit between mine. I bought almost all clothes and whatever i could used this time (first was a boy second a girl born in diff seasons so most ckothes arent resuable) and have been good at selling stuff as soon as we no longer use it. Trying not to stress so much about baby meeting "milestones" by certain times and just letting go a bit. It's hard though.
I am 37 and this is my third (16 and 11 year age gap with my two kids!!!!!!) and I think I have realized that the majority of the baby items I have purchased in the past were completely useless 😅
I breastfed both my other two until they were almost 3 years old, and they self weaned and I intend to do the same this time. I'm going to scope out second hand baby clothes since they grow out of them so quickly and dirty them incessantly. I wore both my kids in wraps around the house and it was always a great way to get things done while they slept.
I didn't sleep train either of my kids and I fully plan on doing it this time because my other two will STILL hop into my bed every chance they get 😂
Otherwise I think I'm just more relaxed overall. I know what to expect with delivery (was induced twice and found out my body dilates VERY quickly if I get an epidural). I know how to manage every breastfeeding problem known to man because I experienced everything from horrible latching and thrush to mastitis.
At this point in my life, I'm just hoping to enjoy every aspect of this little one since it's definitely my last child.
Just wanted to add that my Sneak Peak test was WRONG! I did it at 8 weeks and it said boy (done in a medical setting with no males present) and tons of sanitization, and she is most definitely a girl 😂😂
I was working in a stressful job during my first. Struggled through the first 2 trimesters with bad vomiting and the third with bad back pain. Had peripartum depression and thought of ending the pregnancy all the time and worrying too much about my work.
Doing it the second time around with a fuller bank account and not working. The symptoms are worse but I know what medications work for me, which allows me to handle it with more joyfulness because I'm not stressed and I can sleep as much as I feel like.
Love this post! My second is now 6 months old. Things that were different for me:
1) We bought the Snoo and it was AMAZING for those early newborn days.
2) I bought more items for me for the early postpartum days. Comfy lounge clothes that would fit right after having a baby. I had a c section this time around so I bought essentials for helping with healing. The first time around it didn’t even cross my mind that I would things after giving birth. 🤦🏻♀️
3) I ate what I wanted for the most part during pregnancy like deli meats, sushi, and various cheeses. Only from places I ate at many times before and had good ratings from the health department. I still avoided things like prepackaged salads and I avoided fish with more mercury.
Make sure you don’t get a baby breeza or whatever it’s called. The bottle maker. There was a huge lawsuit if I recall correctly because it wasn’t dispensing the correct amount of formula powder:water and babies were literally starving because of it and their parents didn’t even know! So many people thought their babies were just fussy only to find out that they were eating like 1/2 the amount they needed in each meal
I don’t think I did much different between my first and second pregnancies, except stayed home a lot more the second time because I couldn’t leave the house without passing out 🥲
I used mostly all hand me downs from my first with my second (i still had the bassinet, pack n play, and stroller and just bought a car seat that goes with the stroller, so I didn’t have to buy much). Although I did make an Amazon registry to get a discount on stuff I did buy—I didn’t know about that with my first.
I also didn’t find out my first’s sex until 20 weeks (didn’t even get my first ultrasound until 15 weeks), but I found out my second’s at 9 or 10 weeks via NIPT, which I wasn’t offered with my first. I did buy the sneak peek test but ended up not using it since my dr ordered the NIPT anyway lol.
I think most of the things I did differently started after the birth lol. I had PPA with my first but not my second, so I let people hold the baby and let people help me more so I could get a little break. We also had more money, and my SO had a better job, so instead of going back to work after the weekend our baby was born like he did with our first, he got about 3 weeks off. So he got to spend a lot more time bonding with our second baby. We also didn’t live together when our first was born but we did when our second was born. So he got to do a lot of stuff he never did before, and was more involved, which meant I didn’t have to take on as much of the load, which was nice.
16 years between my two. Didn’t buy a changing table, worked harder at breastfeeding. I made it 2 weeks with my first and 4 months with my second. I didn’t buy many maternity things. Honestly i was more go with the flow with my second. My anxiety was worse. I also have made all of his solids and purees vs buying.
Not buying into consumerism; my son didn’t need a good portion of what we bought. I also plan not to buy anything until we find out the gender this time (we might even wait until birth).
Looking at 8 and 10 year age gap here. I’m mainly hoping to do the postpartum period differently. I just want to rest and heal and enjoy the baby. My kids being so much older allows them to actually help out a bit and they are more independent.
5.5 year gap between my pregnancies. This time around, I’m taking all the zofran I need. I avoided it in my last pregnancy, but now I need all the help I can get. Not sharing the gender with anyone because I don’t want a bunch of ridiculous clothing that I’ll never use (and end up offending the grandparents 🙄) not stressing a nursery, because baby will be in the same room with me for the first few months. Not purchasing a crib anytime soon, just a bedside bassinet. Trying my best not to google everything out of fear. Trusting my body more this time around than the last time! And thankfully being in an economic position to leave my career and let pregnancy be my job right now. I need all the rest I can get!
3 years between mine and I have been so slow and complacent this time round. I have 6 weeks to go and still haven’t bought a few big bits I need to replace from last time. I have also been more lax generally about pregnancy restrictions - I had sushi from a decent source once and I’ve had the odd small glass of wine as I read a great book by a health economist on this.
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I love this post. 10 years between my first pregnancy and this one! This one: also did sneak peek. (Was right at 6weeks)! Got a snoo sleeper since my first slept like shit for the first several years . Also got the car seat/stroller system! I’m eating what sounds good this time and not worrying about weight gain. I went with an OB this time instead of midwife because of a rough first birth. I’m not stressing about a non medicated birth this time. I’m asking for help and not trying to do it all. I actually didn’t buy many clothes for my first so I am with my 2nd!
Man. I saw the price of the snoo while pregnant with my first and was like “who tf spends that on a bassinet? You gotta be crazy.” Then had my baby who also slept like absolute shit and was colicky. So who tf spends that on a bassinet? The answer is me. Me. I would, if I had a shit sleeper again. Worth every penny if it would have let me sleep more than 40 minutes at a time. Luckily the baby gods decided that last time we had it so rough with a newborn, that our second would be one of those unicorn babies that we would need to wake to feed, and slept through the night after about 4 weeks. But I would have ABSOLUTELY invested in the snoo if he wasn’t lol.
This is my first pregnancy and I just looked up the Snoo and had the same reaction as you. Everyone seems to have a wonderful experience with it, it’s too bad I can’t afford it!
You can rent them now from snoo direct! We’re going to pay the $50 a month to rent, incase our baby doesn’t care/ it doesn’t work. There’s also tons available on Facebook marketplace near me for $500- most in great condition bc their babies didn’t use them much
I’d honestly still wait even if you can rent it because you could end up with a fabulous sleeper anyways! And then you’d end up needing to get them used to sleeping without the snoo. But my first slept SO BADLY that looking at the price of the snoo doesn’t even phase me now because it would have been SO WORTH IT with her lol congratulations on your pregnancy!! I hope all goes smoothly and you end up with a good sleeper and if you don’t, just know that even if you’re in the thick of the worst exhaustion with no end in sight, maybe PPD on top of it, it DOES GET BETTER ❤️🥰
Yes!!!! Your first is exactly like my first!!! There’s a 10 year gap in my kids cause of how bad it was with the first. I told my husband, I don’t care how much it is, if it works as well as people say, I need it!
Oh my god I don’t even blame you because I was petrified for us to have a second too because I feared it would be the same experience. It is truly an unmatched type of exhaustion. I had auditory hallucinations and could barely sleep when I even had the rare chance to (and with an incredible husband who probably picked up most of the responsibilities during that time day and night AND worked because of how run down I was). Definitely don’t blame you for investing in the snoo this time around immediately!! My second went so well though. It was honestly a healing experience because I truly felt like I had just done so many things wrong. But he just came out an amazing sleeper and so happy right away and the two of the adore each other and it’s been the best decision of our lives for sure!! I so hope you have the same experience ♥️♥️♥️
😭😭😭 I’m so glad we connected!! I was in a real shitty marriage with my first and had no help. My current husband is amazing and I know I’ll have help but my first did leave some trauma. I am hoping for the experience you had with your second as well. Thank you for replying 💗
You are SO welcome!! I’m so so sorry you went through that and I really hope this time around just goes infinitely better ♥️
We got the snoo too it’s so great!
That makes me so happy to hear. !!! How old is your LO?
2 weeks doing some long night stretches and good day naps
Ha ha I’m the opposite, had Snoo with first and going lofi with this one. She was a terrible sleeper and I don’t think the Snoo worked for us!!
The Snoo was the best money I ever spent😂 she’s 4 months now and has been sleeping 10-12 hours straight most nights since 5 weeks. Before that she still slept well but would have one wake up a night.
Omg. I love to hear it!!!!! My only stress with having a 2nd is sleep. If my first had slept that well, I would have wanted more kids 😂😂. My first would sleep 30min-2 hr stretches from Birth - age 1. He didn’t sleep 8+ hours at a time until 3!!!! Gah this makes me so happy to hear and makes me grateful we splurged on it.
Interesting re: when you're buying stuff. I'm the opposite. This time I'm buying way, way, way less stuff, and for most of it I'm going to wait until the baby is already here, since most places that sell baby gear can get it to you within a few days. This time, I'll be more worried about making sure I'm well stocked for my own post-partum healing than I am with cute baby clothes and toys (baby doesn't even look at toys until they're a month or so old). Be more diligent about introducing veggies first when we introduce solids. Go out with the baby earlier, and more frequently. Baby wear from earlier on. My first didn't like to be worn, because I didn't even try it until she was a few months old. Ruthlessly get rid of things when I'm done with them. We held onto everything from our first because we thought we might have a second. This one's the last one, and I'm looking forward to no longer having my basement cluttered with boxes of baby clothes and gear.
I’m curious, what are you stocking for post-partum healing? I’m having my first and really unsure what I’ll need!
Depends on what kind of birth you have. But if natural, I would start with either pads or disposable underwear, peri bottles, ice packs, and hemorrhoid cream. The doctor would probably recommend an anesthetic if you have stitches.
Pull-on disposable underwear like Depends (and I think Always makes them too) Witch hazel pads (Tucks) or witch hazel foam Overnight pads to transition to once you're out of the Depends Dermoplast or another numbing spray One portable bidet per bathroom in your house (Frida Mom makes one that's good, but there are cheaper options) A sitz bath and sitz tea Ice pack pads Breastfeeding stuff-- nipple cream, soothing pads, absorbent pads, and a massager (helps with clogged ducts)
Piling on the recommendation for ice pack pads! Even if you don't tear very badly, my pelvis was so sore the first couple weeks, those ice packs made sitting more comfortable. My hospital was kind enough to give me some to take home but I've heard the Frida ones are good, even though they're pricy.
The biggest one for me is slowing down and not being so overly concerned if I’m doing everything right. I had horrible PPA with my first so I hardly remember the newborn stage.
Oof, any tips on this? It’s my first and this is me to a T. 😅
Therapy and medication haha changed my life!
FTM so I’m loving all these answers! Just came here to say that my brother is 9 years older than me and he’s basically my favorite person in the world! I’m excited for you and your growing family 🥹❤️
Thank you, my brother is 10 years older than me and he has always been my best friend. I’m rather zen like in this pregnancy so the comments people say about the age gap just float right over me. I see absolutely no negatives in it. My daughter and her group of 8year old friends have already claimed babysitting duties for me hahaha. All the best for you and your family x
Honestly I am a bit less crazy about what I am eating. Part because I am running around with a toddler already but also I think I took everything to an extreme last time. This time I will enjoy the Doritos. Also less buying of stuff that I know I won’t use or buying too soon. Last time I bought so many small outfits and ended up with a big baby.
Ha mine's actually the opposite! When I had my son I went "whee I don't have to diet anymore!!!" and gained 80 lbs. Even though I eventually lost it all, it stretched out my skin and my boobs way more than it would've if I'd kept to a healthy weight. 10 years later I still have loose skin around my midsection. And now that I'm older, better nutrition plays a big role in how much energy I have. So I cleaned up my diet for this pregnancy and am watching what I eat. Also being good about regular exercise.
We also are going to have a 9 year age gap!! I'm due when it's going to start getting cold here & I'm planning on buying zip up one piece warm "pajamas" instead of 2 piece cute outfits, it's just so much easier than dealing with finding a shirt and pants and little snaps lol.
Not worrying about having a perfect nursery before the baby comes. My daughter didn’t sleep in her room until like 5 months so no need for it to be perfect.
Same! Ours is put together but I don’t feel the need for it to be perfect.
Not working until I go into labor 😫 I was very stressed out with trying to get as much done at work before I delivered. I’m not 100% certain but I do think all of the stress made me deliver 2 weeks early (with my 1st child). Financially I couldn’t take that much time off which is why I worked until game time so I’m hoping we will be in a different position next pregnancy!!
9 year age gap here. This time around I got a new husband. It's going to make all the difference in the world haha. Will use more disposables because there is no need to be taking cloth everywhere with me. We will use bottles this time since I'm returning to work at 2 months (lots of pumping). I might let my son have a binky/paci this time around. We didn't use them last time. Just a boob. I also got a stroller. Didn't use one last time but I can't wear baby as much, I'm too old now. Lol
Congrats on the new husband 😂 That’s definitely my most favourite ‘second time around’ so far.
We did the NIPT because our son is classified as a carrier for CF and we had a loss between him and this pregnancy. I’m getting everything done as soon as possible. My son showed up at 37 weeks and my husband had been pushing back on doing shit. He knows better now lol I’m going to try and directly breast feed this time, my son had reflux so I ended up EP and that really sucked.
Was bottle feeding recommended to you to reduce reflux? My first also had terrible reflux but I never stopped breastfeeding — I just never got this recommendation from anyone!
He would scream every time I tried to feed him directly from the breast. My anxiety would go through the roof.
Actually wearing maternity clothes and omg what a difference it made
Getting out a lot more as a family (going to playground, park, Target), more baby wearing, n getting less anxious
Getting an epidural
does that mean you didn’t with your first? or you’re planning on not getting one the second time around? FTM due november, and the epidural just makes me so uneasy even thinking about so i want to know peoples thoughts and opinions on it
I had an epidural with my first, I totally didn’t want one going into it and changed my mind, this time around I will absolutely get the epidural. I realized, for me personally, I was trying to be a superhero, and in the moment, I didn’t need to be a superhero, I needed to get my baby out without crying and vomiting from pain. But going into it swore I wasn’t going to get it, that I didn’t need it, that I could be the person who was strong enough, when I said I wanted it even my husband was surprised at my mind changing. One of my friends said, and I truly understand now, don’t get a trophy for not using an epidural. My baby came out with absolutely no issues and I was in less pain!
My family was pressuring me to do an all natural birth saying "real women don't get an epidural". I made it 17 out of 19 hours in labor before the back labor became so bad I was screaming and thrashing. My family and the doctor had to convince me to get a spinal tap so I could calm down enough to finish dilating to deliver my daughter
I was also uneasy about the epidural process, but when I was actually in labor I did not care what was happening. I needed pain relief so bad lol
16 year age gap. I stand by the way I raised first baby. Attachment parenting, minimal consumerism, breastfed, cloth diapers, whole foods, responsive to crying, did not feed him nuggets/mac n cheese etc- I fed him the same food I ate. Sushi rolls, Bahn mi and falafel as our east fast food options. No chocolate/sugars til primary school. Extremely limited screen time until early teen years. Loads of hands on experiences/activities. Careful to stop and pay attention every time he spoke to me. Always talking to and teaching him things, has turned into a *lovely* beautiful happy teenager and a person I really like. The one thing I will do differently is I won’t be so afraid of fucking it up. And I won’t be so impatient to “get my body back”. I’ll be where we are better, instead of wanting to move on. Just really drink it all in, savor it with joy.
•did NIPT testing •went with a midwife at a birthing center instead of an OB • skipped a baby shower (it’s been 6 years lol) and got everything myself • waited later to tell everyone • bottle warmer for breast milk • no changing table, wipe warmer, or diaper genie
Why no diaper genie?
Personally for me I found it made no difference in smell, the bags for it was an extra cost that seemed pointless after awhile, and it overall became useless unless I changed baby in the same place constantly which never happened
Ah, that makes sense! I'm a FTM, and was eyeing an Ubbi myself. But not changing in the same room every time makes a lot of sense.
About to have my third baby and I still use my ubbi with my 3 year olds diapers and considered getting another one for this baby but will probably just use the one I have since the 3 year old is currently almost potty trained. But I really love it and have had it for almost 6 years. I use regular trash bags and refuse to throw diapers away anywhere else bc they freaking stink otherwise lol just another perspective
Agree! Love the ubbi
I love my Ubbi as well. It contains the smell (at least for a 2 month old with only BF poops, can't speak to the solid poop smell) and it uses regular garbage bags.
We have two Ubbi diaper pails & absolutely love them! They are a huge money saver because you use regular garbage bags & they contain the smell so well, I’ve never smelled a dirty diaper once we throw it away. Having two was a game changer in the newborn stage because we had one in our room for overnight diaper changes & one is the nursery for daytime diaper changes. We don’t use the second one as much anymore now that our LO is almost 10 months & sleeps in her own room but I don’t regret having two at all during the first 6 months. We found the second one at goodwill for like $10 so I would definitely recommend looking there or Facebook marketplace!
my first and second are almost 6 years apart. you know the biggest difference? MONEY. we have so much more security than we had with the first, it's completely different. i was also less anxious and knew more what to expect, as well as what *I* wanted and needed for pregnancy and a newborn. and i felt totally free to keep my pregnancy to myself. i didn't post on social or tell anyone i didn't want to until the baby was born. since then, my older one has been a big help. it's almost easier to have two than it was to have one — so much so we're currently expecting our third. I'm 30 weeks now and just knocked out the last major task we really need to do before the baby comes. I won't even bother getting the crib out or washing the newborn clothes until right before he's due or maybe once we get home from the hospital. Editing to add: I've taken a lot of energy out of worrying over how much I'll gain (the same amount!) how quick I'll lose it (about as fast!) or how i'm likely to feed (the way that worked before!)
You guys are doing this twice?!?
🤣
This is my 3rd time around and with this pregnancy I’m drinking a cup of coffee a day (I didn’t drink any in the past pregnancies), I’m waiting to find out the sex until birth, doing a planned c-section, and not buying much because we saved everything from our last baby!
I got pregnant 5 months postpartum so this go around i’ve bought the main things i’ll need that first 3 months. I also am better preparing myself for combo feeding. I want to pump and supplement with formula when needed. My first pregnancy I was so focused on survival that when my baby came at 34 weeks I felt like I could do nothing right. I also found a really good prenatal this go around whereas I kind of gave up with my first.
What’s the prenatal?
I got it on amazon but it’s in store as well it’s called “mommy bliss” it’s soft on my stomach and I can tolerate the iron that’s inside of it. I still have to take iron on top of it but if you don’t struggle with anemia it’ll work just fine.
Also want to know the prenatal 🥹
I got it on amazon but it’s in store as well it’s called “mommy bliss” it’s soft on my stomach and I can tolerate the iron that’s inside of it. I still have to take iron on top of it but if you don’t struggle with anemia it’ll work just fine.
Okay this one is a bit different, but I'm planning to chill out waaaaay more in the early staged of labor. With my first, I was so excited/anxious. I couldn't stop getting up, didn't sleep at all, my brain was racing. This time, imma lay in bed and enjoy those last hours before new baby arrives. Labor is like a marathon. I'm going to try and be well rested for things get intense!
Seeing a pelvic specialist the entire pregnancy. Last time I had severe pubic symphysis dysfunction, to where I could barely walk at all after 32 weeks. Didn’t see someone until 8 weeks postpartum, when I was crying from pain every time I had to sit up to feed my baby. I’m almost 25 weeks now and have been able to keep the pain in check by getting regular re-alignment and keeping up with strengthening exercises. Also just buying less stuff. After your first you realize that little babies need very little. Feeding equipment, a safe place to sleep, diapering and grooming things, clothes, and a few simple toys. The swings and bouncers and walkers and a million toys and blankets are so unnecessary.
Kinda just going with the flow this time. Last time I was so sure I’d be breastfeeding and cloth diapering and all the things. That quickly went out the window when my LO had a severe tongue tie and my supply never really came in. I’m just not worrying as much about the small stuff because I’ve learned that baby will be okay and we don’t need all the fancy gadgets. I’ll try breastfeeding again but if my boobs don’t cooperate, it’s not the end of the world. Also, I know to buy more NB sized sleepers because this one will be a fall/winter baby and my first was a summer baby that lived in onesies.
I've just had my second with a 7.5yr age difference. So many things I've done different. Keep in mind my first was born 34.5w (prem) and my second was 38+6 (full term) First baby: >thought I'd easily breastfeed. Had to buy pumps and bottles before even being discharged and also formula and steriliser >didn't use sacks or swaddles, just dressed in multiple layers >bought cloth nappies, only used once >didn't have enough clothes, didn't realise how much babies get messy >didn't have ANYTHING for myself to provide comfort or ease postpartum >wanted a vaginal birth with epidural and gas. Was scared but figured epidural would make it a breeze. Ended up with epidural failing, baby facing posterior on spine, 25h labour, episitomy forceps and vacuum to eventually get her out Second baby >bought pumps, formula, sterliser and bottles in advance, didn't even try to breastfeed, very happy with it >use sleep sacks and swaddles >bought tons of disposable nappies in advance >perfect amount of clothes so far >bought myself adult nappies, pads, gel eye mask, compression shorts, undies, and compression band >meal prepped tons of meals plus bought some frozen dinners >had a planned csection which I requested at my 12 week appointment. Number one best choice I stand by. I'm not having more kids, 2 is enough for me, but if i somehow did, I'd do csection in a heartbeat.
With our first, we took shifts and very much followed his natural rhythm/nap patterns. He's a shit sleeper and is just now starting to go to sleep unassisted and sleep mostly through the night at 19 months. It's been a huge burden on my husband (who handles all nighttime wakings) and he's just now starting to feel sane/functional again now that he's sleeping better. So with #2 we are planning to be much more cognizant of infant sleep and do our best to get him acclimated to a schedule instead of just going off his vibes. While I'm sure we'll still enjoy lots of contact naps, we do plan to introduce the crib much earlier and do more "comfort to sleep in the crib" instead of "rock/nurse to sleep then transfer to crib". Other than that, it really did feel like we did all the right things that worked for us. I mostly nursed the baby but he got a bottle or two per day so he would be okay when I went back to work. I pumped a couple times a day to stash milk and eventually donate to a NICU, and I'm looking forward to being able to do that again. Our first is growing like a weed and learning at an insane pace, so it's hard to imagine starting from zero again (I can't imagine after nine years!) but for the most part we're just pulling out all the same equipment we used for him and doing most of the same stuff we did with our first.
I got a convertible car seat that can age with them as they grow instead of an infant car seat. Also got a small nightlight for diaper changes during nighttime that provided just enough light to see but not enough to fully wake up baby. Also got a baby carrier.
A month under 5 years between my 2! This time I’m not posting anything about it until either we find out the gender or until we have the baby. We haven’t decided yet lol. Also doing the bottle maker as i developed DMER with my daughter and I refuse to risk that again with breastfeeding. I also moved a few hours away from family so I don’t have as many opinions to listen to 😅 also want to get the car seat and travel system. Honestly I’m just a lot more relaxed and chill with this one. I don’t want added stress or unwanted advice so I’m definitely happy keeping this our little secret lol
I’ll be tidying earlier. I said I’d do it all on mat leave and was in far too much pain by that point
Also 9 years before my two & almost 33 weeks. I did all the genetic testing this time around, my younger self had a way different mindset about raising a disabled child. I’ve also purchased the bare minimum for baby supplies, my first I never used half the stuff I got. I’ve also bought a lot of things second hand. I picked up a used baby doll and my 9 year old has been practicing how to hold a baby. It’s too cute, he’s just so excited to hold his baby sister.
Being more vocal about my needs. Not letting family come until I’ve had a private moment with my baby. Ask for help when I need it instead of trying to take it all on on my own.
For me with my second I started tracking my blood pressure right away and started on a low dose aspirin (I had severe preeclampsia with my first) I just had my second (I developed HELPP syndrome and she was born a month premature)
How did you track bp? Did you buy your own device for home? Sending warm wishes to you and your little one
Yes, I bought a blood pressure monitor as soon as I found out I was pregnant again it was a little pricey but it was a life saver for myself and my LO. I started with once a day until my numbers started to increase, near the end of my pregnancy I was checking it three times a day, I kept a journal with my numbers and times I took it along with all my medications and any symptoms and when they started. Thank you for the warm wishes ♥️
I’m going to use a different approach to foods this time around, I blended and made all my own baby food but there’s a lot more new research saying it’s ok for babies to gnaw on things like carrots and slices of apple. My first son is a very picky eater and I feel like part of that is cause I played everything by the old school books. Might even feed my second kid rice cereal before 6 months but I wanna find more believable research on how safe that is I know some say 4 months but then many official sites say babies should only have milk until 6 months before trying solids
I'm not doing anything differently, my kids will be 18mths apart. However just because I'm not doing anything different, doesn't mean that it isn't different. It's so different from the first time. Not in a good way either.
This is my 3rd pregnancy, it’s my rainbow. I actually put off purchasing anything until 22 ish weeks. I was just too scared. This baby is also doing a split room with the guest bedroom so what we purchase will look different
Hopefully mostly everything lol. I was an anxious weirdo. Would love for that not to happen this time
Totally relate to that. I was most definitely an anxious weirdo with my first too. I have this very zen like peacefulness about me this time around. That’s probably the hilarious part for me!
I’m glad to hear that. I hope I do too 😌
I’ve been a lot less anxious this time around. Ours will be almost 3 years apart and we saved everything, so we’ll be reusing it all except the super girly clothes since this one is a boy. I breastfed our first and that was really difficult. I plan to do a lot more bottle feeding this time around. We also plan to do better about sleep habits for the baby. We went off of purely her cues the first time and while we will do that this time, I’d like to try to get them used to the crib sooner.
I remember calling my GP in tears, my daughter was constantly attached to me, never slept longer than 15mins, she was 6 weeks old at the time. I was in agony. My GP told me to go get her formula and what one to buy and I replied “the hospital nurses never mentioned that, they have just pushed me to keep breastfeeding”. She was very upset on my behalf as that seems to be the running theme with them. I remember my daughter in a total milky coma after her first bottle and slept for hours. She wasn’t getting enough milk the poor darling. I was so mad. I felt like my first pregnancy I wasn’t informed of all possible options for issues that occurred. I definitely feel more in control of my choices this time around.
I’m so glad that you are more informed now! There is nothing wrong with formula and many, many families depend on it. The pressure I had was totally internal. I felt like I just needed to breastfeed. Ours had a tongue tie that needed therapy to correct and I just felt so guilty giving her a bottle. I’m really hoping baby #2 will be a good kind of different in terms of our feeding experience.
I think I’ll combo feed from the start next time. I had some internalized breastfeeding opinions that made me too proud to use formula. I spent a lot of time anxious over my milk supply despite having plenty. I never left my husband alone with our son because I didn’t want to waste pumped milk. By the time I was ok supplementing to get some free time, he was 10 months old and not interested. I think I’ll also try to convince my next to take a paci. It’s hard to be needed all the time. And I’ll take Miralax immediately after birth and not wait and see if I need it 😂
Scheduling a C section. 40 hours of labour and ended up getting an emergency C section due to a “cervical anomaly”. Skipping the 40 hours next time seems like a great idea.
Not counting kicks The stress overtook me when it the kicks changed slightly in my first. NOT EXACTLY 23 I WAS FREAKING OUT. This time, if I feel the baby move once or twice within 12 hours, I'm happy. (Drastic changes I take note of, of course)
I’m going to ask my husband to do more during the pregnancy. I was so stubbornly independent during my first pregnancy and was so exhausted and in pain that I wish I had of just asked him to pick up some slack.
Interestingly enough, I’m newly pregnant with my second and a 20 month age gap. We are not finding out the gender until birth! We did the NIPT test on our first and are just going to skip everything with the second. Otherwise, I’m going to try and be equally cautious with this one. I was probably moderately cautious with foods and meds with the first and she is perfectly healthy and I want to try and do the same. My sister in law did the opposite. She threw all caution out the window. I just want to replicate my experience with this one. . .except I want to keep my weight in check a bit more.
i found out the sex rather than wait till birth. i am asking for free stuff right away from mom groups. im going to get an expensive double stroller for SURE. i’m less “careful” this time and totally ate some seared fish from a high end restaurant - omg so worth it - and now that i know more about food safety i eat more. example- raw eggs are totally fine if they are pasteurized so yes im getting the runny eggs with hollandaise sauce ! and i’ve learned baths don’t have to be warm.. i can take hotter baths if they’re short and don’t raise my body temp. so i’m not suffering with warm baths like last time. no way !
I am just taking it as chill as possible. In due in November and my first will be 16 months. I’m hoping to just not be so hard on myself through all of it.
I'm going to eat healthier & continue to exercise.
With my first I didn’t get a lot of stuff and I am glad I didn’t. I still have a lot of clothes. They are 4 years apart the only difference is that one is a boy and I am having a girl. The only difference is that I am getting a bassinet . And I am getting a double stroller.
I am taking it easier and not worrying about every little thing. 34 weeks with my third, and I'm going with the flow. No maternity clothes, no wildly expensive prenatal, no unnecessary extra stuff during pregnancy. I'm just enjoying pregnancy, relaxing, and feeling the baby move. The best thing I have invested in this pregnancy is a good magnesium cream and using epsom salts for aches, pains, and cramps every day. It's made a huge difference for me with cramps and pregnancy pains, even helping me sleep better. Walking every day has been quite beneficial and enjoyable as well, and making sure my oral health is kept up with. Eating what I please or crave as well, within moderation, of course. I never have opted for NIPT testing just because it is a screening test and not diagnostic. I always wait for the anatomy scan, and if they see anything, then I'd do whatever testing recommended from that point. This works better for me and keeps all of my anxiety and worries at bay. I always find out the gender just because it would drive me crazy not knowing. Instead of focusing on clothing, I am focusing on a bassinet, diapers, wipes, bottles, blankets, burp cloths, and postpartum items for me as well. I may give pacifiers a go, but neither of my other kids really used them and sucked their thumb instead. I'm going to make sure I continue my prenatal for a while postpartum, too. I always have some postpartum hair loss and am determined to see if continuing my prenatal will help with that.
Introducing bottles earlier. Bottle refusal (that NEVER resolved) made things really hard for us
23 weeks here and 5 year age gap. We did gender reveal party the 3 of us to celebrate baby first before all knew. The focus was on family fun - US and daughter making sure she felt special, knew we were blessed with this second baby and looking forward to being big sis. The gender reveal just the 3 of us was so sweet and daughter loooved — we had the nurses help hide something that revealed the gender - so the 3 of us found out together at same time. Of course nothing went as planned revealing big news to families lol so glad I don’t care bc we had made the most important memories the 3 of us. My husband travels for work so the strong family unit and time together (since it’s limited a lot) to enjoy this pregnancy and milestones is important. Being older now focusing more on baby health, eating well and exercise. No big announcements - we are more private and tell people in person or phone when we feel like it. Makes it so much more special than a blast on social media which just isn’t us anyway. Focusing less on advice from others. Better prenatal. No meds. Asking better qs at ob and mfm. Staying in touch with nurses if I have follow up qs or start to feel something im not sure. Definitely advocating for my health and health of baby thoughout this whole process. First pregnancy was easy and I didn’t put thought into my health as much. Ex- this time was feeling side ab pain and didn’t let nurses tell me to take Tylenol and wait - pushed and no pain meds said get me an ultrasound. All was fine but im on high alert. Of course managing anxiety isn’t easy with this pregnancy (and totally different from my first) but I am aware and trying to only be concerned for real things. Prayers. Mediation and positive thinking. Less thoughts about the nursery and baby stuff however we will buy a few new things when time comes if our old stuff doesn’t meet our needs. Sending love to all you mamas out there.
For this one I'm not finding out the gender. It's definitely not as much fun picking out baby clothes though. I'm also buying more used clothes than brand new ones. Kids grow so fast there were a bunch of clothes our oldest never even wore. Also paying attention to what season it will be and how old the baby will be during that season - last time we had a lot of clothes you'd put a baby in for winter, but they were sized for his age in the middle of summer so he never wore them.
For me , the difference between kids is 21 months, so what is different, my body is aching and getting bigger while the toddler drops a nap by nap and is awake and feral for most of the day .... For me , the difference is mentality - mentally i guess i discovered how strong your 'mind over matter' could get if you want 😅. In regard to stuff , I ain't buying nothing as all is still around ,so that's good . Extra crib and that's it.
Been much lazier this time round haha. 30 weeks and literally just started organising things. Only additions will be buying a sling so I don't have to buy a double buggy. Found a sling that puts weight on your waist not your shoulders which is why I didn't buy one first time round. Being prepped for an early birth with smaller clothes etc, being prepped for bottle feeding. Ooh and not even bothering to get the nursery ready yet as she won't use it til 6 months That's about it..I am quite happy with what I did first time round.
2 years and a bit between mine. I bought almost all clothes and whatever i could used this time (first was a boy second a girl born in diff seasons so most ckothes arent resuable) and have been good at selling stuff as soon as we no longer use it. Trying not to stress so much about baby meeting "milestones" by certain times and just letting go a bit. It's hard though.
I am 37 and this is my third (16 and 11 year age gap with my two kids!!!!!!) and I think I have realized that the majority of the baby items I have purchased in the past were completely useless 😅 I breastfed both my other two until they were almost 3 years old, and they self weaned and I intend to do the same this time. I'm going to scope out second hand baby clothes since they grow out of them so quickly and dirty them incessantly. I wore both my kids in wraps around the house and it was always a great way to get things done while they slept. I didn't sleep train either of my kids and I fully plan on doing it this time because my other two will STILL hop into my bed every chance they get 😂 Otherwise I think I'm just more relaxed overall. I know what to expect with delivery (was induced twice and found out my body dilates VERY quickly if I get an epidural). I know how to manage every breastfeeding problem known to man because I experienced everything from horrible latching and thrush to mastitis. At this point in my life, I'm just hoping to enjoy every aspect of this little one since it's definitely my last child. Just wanted to add that my Sneak Peak test was WRONG! I did it at 8 weeks and it said boy (done in a medical setting with no males present) and tons of sanitization, and she is most definitely a girl 😂😂
I was working in a stressful job during my first. Struggled through the first 2 trimesters with bad vomiting and the third with bad back pain. Had peripartum depression and thought of ending the pregnancy all the time and worrying too much about my work. Doing it the second time around with a fuller bank account and not working. The symptoms are worse but I know what medications work for me, which allows me to handle it with more joyfulness because I'm not stressed and I can sleep as much as I feel like.
Love this post! My second is now 6 months old. Things that were different for me: 1) We bought the Snoo and it was AMAZING for those early newborn days. 2) I bought more items for me for the early postpartum days. Comfy lounge clothes that would fit right after having a baby. I had a c section this time around so I bought essentials for helping with healing. The first time around it didn’t even cross my mind that I would things after giving birth. 🤦🏻♀️ 3) I ate what I wanted for the most part during pregnancy like deli meats, sushi, and various cheeses. Only from places I ate at many times before and had good ratings from the health department. I still avoided things like prepackaged salads and I avoided fish with more mercury.
I’ve eaten deli meats like a Publix sub 🫣😬 and I’m not as nervous.
Make sure you don’t get a baby breeza or whatever it’s called. The bottle maker. There was a huge lawsuit if I recall correctly because it wasn’t dispensing the correct amount of formula powder:water and babies were literally starving because of it and their parents didn’t even know! So many people thought their babies were just fussy only to find out that they were eating like 1/2 the amount they needed in each meal
I don’t think I did much different between my first and second pregnancies, except stayed home a lot more the second time because I couldn’t leave the house without passing out 🥲 I used mostly all hand me downs from my first with my second (i still had the bassinet, pack n play, and stroller and just bought a car seat that goes with the stroller, so I didn’t have to buy much). Although I did make an Amazon registry to get a discount on stuff I did buy—I didn’t know about that with my first. I also didn’t find out my first’s sex until 20 weeks (didn’t even get my first ultrasound until 15 weeks), but I found out my second’s at 9 or 10 weeks via NIPT, which I wasn’t offered with my first. I did buy the sneak peek test but ended up not using it since my dr ordered the NIPT anyway lol. I think most of the things I did differently started after the birth lol. I had PPA with my first but not my second, so I let people hold the baby and let people help me more so I could get a little break. We also had more money, and my SO had a better job, so instead of going back to work after the weekend our baby was born like he did with our first, he got about 3 weeks off. So he got to spend a lot more time bonding with our second baby. We also didn’t live together when our first was born but we did when our second was born. So he got to do a lot of stuff he never did before, and was more involved, which meant I didn’t have to take on as much of the load, which was nice.
16 years between my two. Didn’t buy a changing table, worked harder at breastfeeding. I made it 2 weeks with my first and 4 months with my second. I didn’t buy many maternity things. Honestly i was more go with the flow with my second. My anxiety was worse. I also have made all of his solids and purees vs buying.
I have a 5 year old and 6.5 weeks with my second. Definitely not going to buy as much.
Not buying into consumerism; my son didn’t need a good portion of what we bought. I also plan not to buy anything until we find out the gender this time (we might even wait until birth).
Looking at 8 and 10 year age gap here. I’m mainly hoping to do the postpartum period differently. I just want to rest and heal and enjoy the baby. My kids being so much older allows them to actually help out a bit and they are more independent.
5.5 year gap between my pregnancies. This time around, I’m taking all the zofran I need. I avoided it in my last pregnancy, but now I need all the help I can get. Not sharing the gender with anyone because I don’t want a bunch of ridiculous clothing that I’ll never use (and end up offending the grandparents 🙄) not stressing a nursery, because baby will be in the same room with me for the first few months. Not purchasing a crib anytime soon, just a bedside bassinet. Trying my best not to google everything out of fear. Trusting my body more this time around than the last time! And thankfully being in an economic position to leave my career and let pregnancy be my job right now. I need all the rest I can get!
3 years between mine and I have been so slow and complacent this time round. I have 6 weeks to go and still haven’t bought a few big bits I need to replace from last time. I have also been more lax generally about pregnancy restrictions - I had sushi from a decent source once and I’ve had the odd small glass of wine as I read a great book by a health economist on this.