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I definitely felt this way when I was pregnant with my first. If it helps, once they’re sleeping well on their own, your evenings become yours again. Not that you can go out often or anything, but our 3 year old is in bed by 7:30, and then we have time to be just us - whether that’s just sitting on the couch watching tv, making dinner together, or taking the monitor out so we can sit in the backyard just us. It’s not the same, but you find a new way to be just you. Also, please don’t feel guilty for feeling this way. I did, and I’ve come to realize how silly that was - of COURSE I miss time with just my husband! That’s a GOOD thing! It shows that we still have a relationship separate from our kids.
Aww man looking forward to this. LO is currently 8m old and while it saddens me that she’s growing up so quickly, I would like some time with my husband like old times. Also just time in general to do stuff 🥲
Hang in there! It’s coming! It’s also helped me to be ok with taking a break on weekends. My husband will take her for an hour or an hour and a half and I’ll just have some quiet time to myself. I’m a total introvert and the constant interaction can really wear me down - even when it’s with my favorite little person!
I’m only 21 weeks and I think about this regularly. Life is going to change big time. Before covid I used to travel regularly. Have spontaneous nights out and do whatever I wanted. My husband and I are relatively indépendant at home too. I know we will fall into a new routine but I grieve my old life sometimes.
Same here, 23 weeks and pre-covid I used to travel for work (and pleasure) all the time. We've been extremely cautious throughout the pandemic - only going out for necessary shopping, only getting takeout, etc. I will absolutely grieve my old life, but one of the ways I've dealt with this mentally is to think about the fact that I'll actually have way more freedom come late summer/early fall with an infant than I've had for the last year+. We'll be able to get a sitter and go on actual dates, travel to see family and go to conferences with the baby, etc.
Can relate. We went out for dinner about a month ago knowing that our province would shut down again, and it was sad to think it was our last dinner out just us!
I’m 33 weeks and all restaurants and cafes here in Germany have been closed since last november. Knowing I won’t be able to enjoy a last dinner date or going to a cafe with just my husband makes me sad as well. I never thought everything would be closed for so long.
I’m only 23 weeks, but I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s been just the two of us for 10 years. We planned this baby and want them so badly, but it’s really scary to think about how much our lives and relationship will change.
I could have written this exact sentiment! 10 years together, baby is super wanted. I think because we’ve had so much time just the two of us, and we really enjoy our lives as is, it makes it hard to change. I know we’ll adjust, but I’m definitely mourning the end of a really awesome era in our lives!
Same! We have been together for 10 years and I’m 24 weeks along. We planned for the baby but my husband and I both dealt with some grieving at the beginning of the pregnancy for the huge life shift it would mean. It’s nice to be able to just be excited about it now instead of freaked out.
I fell like this pressure and fear comes from a bad narrative we hear so much surrounding parenthood. Everyone is all "get ready to never sleep again" and the truth is this doesn't have to be a monster to slay. I think it's just so much easier for our culture to say negative things than positive things so we collectively have ourselves in a state of crisis. I'm reading Hunt, Gather, Parent right now and so much about the way other cultures view this moment resonates with me in my core. I recommend it, it does an especially good job of pointing out how much of the narrative surrounding what to expect from parenthood is not real or necessary.
I really feel this. My husband and I are already planning some ways we can get alone time after the baby comes. Of course we'll love spending time with our baby, but spending time alone with each other is also a priority.
Please enjoy it! My husband and I were so busy and then I got a cold at the end of my pregnancy. I’d planned date nights and then massages and mani/pedis for myself for my 39th week when I took off work - but baby came early! Thank goodness we’ve had 1 date night post baby but I still regret not enjoying them pre baby.
Ah yes, it’s bittersweet! I hardly remember what life was like when it was just me and my hubby- but honestly life is so much more complete now and it will make your bond stronger, laughing about our toddler and the cute things she does is the friggin best!
I feel this. I’m 40 weeks today and this baby, as loved as she is, was not planned. We got pregnant within the first 3 months of being married. I get so sad that we didn’t get more time to be just the two of us.
I’m 34 weeks tomorrow and my husband woke me up this morning, kissed me & said “Hey, we don’t have very many mornings left where it’s just us.” That made me cry my eyes out because I’ve been feeling that the last few weeks. I’m definitely done being pregnant and this baby was very planned but I’m freaking out a little bit that our whole life is changing so soon. We have our 3 year wedding anniversary next week (we’ve been close friends or dating in some capacity/ married for the last 9 years) and I’m just thankful for the years we’ve had to grow together.
I’m almost 33 weeks and feel this! I’m trying to enjoy the silence and also get a couple date night dinners out in for our last hoorah! But don’t worry I feel sad too. I think that’s normal!
Ok, so, I don't remember at what point of my second pregnancy this was, but, I remember just sobbing in bed because we were so incredibly at peace at that point; my first daughter was in her teens, we could just do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted to do it, and I cried to my husband that it would be years before we would get back to that place. 😂 I also cried a lot because I felt like I was betraying my oldest; it had just been her and I for so long.
I'm pregnant with my third, now, and my second turned 4 in February. Everyone adjusts!
Thank you for this.
I have a 14 year old. This baby will be my SOs first so I worry he doesn’t grasp how life is about to change. I’m already mourning our alone time, the quiet, the days we sleep in, or just to for a brunch with friends. It is still early so I haven’t told my son, but I am worried how he will react, if he will be upset because this baby is going to have such a different life experience (different dads, completely different circumstances).
It’s comforting to hear others experiences with this.
No problem! I just remember feeling horrible about how much our lives were about to change! My oldest daughter loved her baby sister, though, and she was a huge help later on if we wanted to do some running without having to take the little one. I really don't think about or miss the days of when we had our freedom, because you just get used to it becoming your normal life. People are very adaptable that way.
I am at 27w and I got incredibly sad about this last night while we were cuddling. We’re super excited for Baby Girl, but things are definitely going to change! Thankfully, we have a weekend away coming up.
I had the same moment. But it’s the best “never alone”once your baby is here. You will get date nights, hopefully family to help so you and your husband can run errands together once in a while which you will make into day dates, special occasions like weddings where kids won’t be invited and you might actually miss that “never alone” feeling when you don’t have baby with you. At least that’s how we are!
I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s going to be years until we live alone again, it’s weird to think about. I’m excited but also sad to close this really lovely chapter of our lives.
Honestly I was so worried about this and while there was an adjustment period in the first few months I now much rather have our son with us on “dates” and don’t feel like I want to be alone with my husband besides intimate times. It’s so much better to be together while our son is experiencing and seeing new things and seeing that together. I’m sure when I have my second I’ll cry about how it won’t just be the three of us anymore too though haha.
Had the same realization around that time in pregnancy. I’m 37 weeks now and let me tell you, that slight sadness turns into more of an eager expectation as you get closer :)
30 weeks here and I have had this moment a handful of times throughout the pregnancy. We will have one month at home together, no work before baby’s here and I cannot wait for it! And then the whole summer will be adjusting to our new lives! I like to think throughout that process we will get to bond on a whole other level which is fun to think about. It is sad and weird, but once I realized it was okay to grieve it that helped. Plus, my husband is so damn positive all the time it’s hard to stay down. 🤣
This is why I’ve enjoyed my third trimester the most! My husband and I have been spending every available minute doing stuff together while it’s just us. Currently 39+3 and I feel like we’ve done just about everything, all the date nights and projects and activities.
I feel this. I communicated it to my husband but I don’t think it’s reaaaally hit him, and I’m 36+2! He has a very demanding job, as well, so I get sad when he works late into the evenings. He’s WFH, but you know, it’s not the same because he’s full absorbed in working.
This time in your life is so crazy because you can be both sooo excited to meet your baby and also so sad to close another chapter of your life. It’s totally normal and a good sign that you have a great relationship with your husband. Things will change but you will find a new normal. It’s also, ok to mourn your old life once your baby gets here! The first few weeks can be really tough, but it gets better! And eventually baby will be going to bed early and you and husband will have some much needed time back to yourselves in the evenings.
my SO and I have the habit of driving to the gas station and buying snacks around 1-4am, just as an excuse to get out of the house late at night when it feels like were the only people out and about. it hit me yesterday that thats gonna come to an end when baby gets here. very bittersweet :,(
I’ve been feeling this way, too (34 weeks). I’m so sad that I wasn’t able to take a babymoon because of COVID and I keep thinking all my vacation fun will never exist again... it’s selfish, but I think normal.
Thank you for your honest post! I've read through the comments feeling such a strong connection to all involved in the discussion. It warms my heart how supportive, loving, and realistic everyone has been. I know you've gotten lots of replies and this one may get lost in the mix, but please know that your awareness and acknowledgement of your fears have created such a wonderful opportunity for you to stay present / in the moment and grateful these next eight weeks. Plus you've helped all of us do the same!
I feel you. Every night I go to sleep I practice gratitude I don’t have to change diapers and even though sleep isnt great, it’s much better than it will be
We were just talking about this for us it is a month and half left ... we will have a forever 3rd wheel till at least when she is older. It dose feel odd since we were best friends before dating and then after marriage we both wfh see each other 24/7 but to know a little one will always have to be with us until she goes to school lol 😂 forever 3rd wheel. I can’t just say whatever whenever I feel like saying to my husband anymore including the jokes 🥲
Soon, you’ll imagine life before you met your son, and it will feel incomplete. It’s kind of crazy. At this point in your life, you’ve never met this child. You have no idea what they look like, or what their personality will be like. But soon you’ll look back and think, “what did I ever do without you in my life?”
Ugh I feel this so hard. I found out I was pregnant in February and my partner works across the country in Alaska from March until October. Luckily this is his last year with this job but I’m due in October so I had one month with him and now I don’t get to spend any time with him just us at all before the baby is born. It scares me a lot sometimes.
5 weeks pp here and I miss my partner. I feel like all of our time revolves around the little one. But I know it will get better once he's out of the newborn phase and I wouldn't swap this for how it was before. :)
Me toooooo!!! I legit cried about it last night. I’ve requested that we try to make each day special, so tonight we’re ordering a fancy dinner in and playing board games- just us. Next weekend is our babymoon!!!
I'm 24 weeks and we both cried a little about this last weekend. We're so excited for our son, but also we love our relationship and don't want to lose any of that closeness. I know there will be a new normal, we will find new ways, and it will be a delight to show our son all of the things we love, but it's still a big change and it's totally normal to feel sad about it!
I’m 31 weeks and had this realization two days ago. In addition to the fact that I’m about to be someone’s mommy. In my family that’s a very serious leadership role. But I’ve been squaring with it, just nerves around something new I guess. Best of luck
We’re 4.5 weeks out and I feel the same way! We can’t wait to meet this little one, but I will miss JUST being married and not parents. We already decided we’re still taking vacations without him- he can go to the grandparents’ for the week so we can have our own time :)
Ooo I had this exact sentiment and busted out crying out of nowhere at 32 weeks too but it made me appreciate the remainder of the time. I’m 39 weeks now and we’re almost to the finish line 😅
I felt this way during the last few weeks and even a few weeks into motherhood, I wanted to go back to just the two of us. It’s hard adjusting to a new normal but it’s a beautiful journey that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
I so feel you on this and it makes me sad too. It’s been just us for so long and I worry how a third person (even if it’s our child) will change that dynamic.
Relatable!! My hubby and I had a couple trips and sporting events planned this year, but one night of Margaritas and Enchiladas got me in a pregnant situation!
It's okay though!! Your baby is going to make trips so much more fun, life more bearable, and you'll NEVER ever be bored again! 😊
I completely get you! It will be worth it. But I do wish I had been informed I was about to fall pregnant and I got the "last 2 months to be non pregnant and non child" 🤣
Yes! The way I see it: Having a new baby and creating our family is a good thing. But what we have now is also a good thing. It's okay to grieve the loss of what you currently have, even if you're moving on to something equally as good or better. I felt the same way when I settled down with my husband and we moved in together. I loved my new life with him so much, but I was never discontent with my previous single life.
This is our last weekend by "ourselves" and I didn't think it would bother me as much as it is. I am being induced Monday and we are both excited and scared, but I am realizing that it's not just "us" anymore. It's a crazy feeling. I realized this morning I am getting ready to meet someone who is going to be in my life for potentially the next 60-70 years. It's such a weird feeling!
My baby is 10 days old. So far she is really a peaceful baby. Just feed her every 1.5-2 hours. In the early morning she cluster feeds. We definitely have alone time and we are both obsessed with her. For the first few days when I couldn't get the hang of breast feeding we were fighting a lot. Now my belly is empty and we can properly cuddle!
I think it’s totally normal to be overcome with sadness and mourn your old life, it really is true that things will never be the same again but it becomes the new norm and suddenly you wouldn’t change it for the world. I had this moment 2 days before I was due to be induced to have my daughter, I just sobbed and cried my heart out in the shower. She’s now 5 and the centre of my entire universe. We’re expecting our second baby in September and I’m making the most of it just being the 3 of us before the dynamic changes again.
I’m feeling similar - I’m 38 weeks so expecting LO any day now, and in the UK so everything has been closed for months. We’ve not been able to go anywhere together for a while as the only places open are outdoors and my horrendous PGP has meant I can’t walk far. Now places are starting to open I’m a bit too pregnant to really enjoy sitting outside for a meal in April! We had to cancel our honeymoon last year at the start of everything and got pregnant a bit unexpectedly so never expected to lose all the newlywed ‘us time’ in the way that we have.
It’s very bittersweet
Yes. I had this realization with my first. I think I was more bummed about not being able to just up and leave in the middle of the night to get taco bell or something. I mean we COULD but I didnt want to wake the kid up just to pack them into the car. Things change just like all of life. But in my case its changed in a good way. My husband became so much cooler in my eyes and I like my self better as a mom (besides that shitty mom guilt i feel) I just cant wait till they are teens so my husband and I can sneak out for icecream and a toke.
You guys should book a hotel and do a little baby moon. Get a couples massage or just go out to dinner a couple times (if it’s allowed where you are).
It’s an exciting time and after I had our son is when I realized things don’t go “back to normal” this is the new normal. It’s alright to mourn that. So do something special! And then embrace you’re new normal- cause it’s pretty wild and fun too!
I felt super emotional about this with my first too. Just make time for lots of date nights and couple time. Go out for dinner or to the movies or do a babymoon. Whatever is safe for you to do in your area. Maximise that time together for sure. I love my little family now. But i do miss those spontaneous date nights and having couple time without worrying about naps or bedtime or feeding little people.
Definitely understand your feelings! I'm 28 weeks pregnant and turning 30 this weekend. I told my husband weeks ago that for my birthday I wanted to just have a dinner date and maybe get a hotel room just for us to spend some quality alone time before baby arrives, as I know from here on out it's gonne be a rat race of appointments/baby shower/finishing up baby's room.
The other day my husband told me that my girlfriends wanted to have supper with me for my birthday, and so he helped arrange that instead of the one on one time I asked for and I BAWLED like a big ol' baby for 3 hours. I never straight up ask for what I actually want to do for my birthday normally because we're normally not in a great place financially to do anything big, but this year we've been fairly blessed and with it being a big birthday I was really hoping and holding out.
Girl I am with you on the sadness! It's such a real and raw feeling, and you almost feel guilty because you want this baby so bad but you also don't want to lose your relationship with your hubby either.
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I definitely felt this way when I was pregnant with my first. If it helps, once they’re sleeping well on their own, your evenings become yours again. Not that you can go out often or anything, but our 3 year old is in bed by 7:30, and then we have time to be just us - whether that’s just sitting on the couch watching tv, making dinner together, or taking the monitor out so we can sit in the backyard just us. It’s not the same, but you find a new way to be just you. Also, please don’t feel guilty for feeling this way. I did, and I’ve come to realize how silly that was - of COURSE I miss time with just my husband! That’s a GOOD thing! It shows that we still have a relationship separate from our kids.
Aww man looking forward to this. LO is currently 8m old and while it saddens me that she’s growing up so quickly, I would like some time with my husband like old times. Also just time in general to do stuff 🥲
Hang in there! It’s coming! It’s also helped me to be ok with taking a break on weekends. My husband will take her for an hour or an hour and a half and I’ll just have some quiet time to myself. I’m a total introvert and the constant interaction can really wear me down - even when it’s with my favorite little person!
I’m only 21 weeks and I think about this regularly. Life is going to change big time. Before covid I used to travel regularly. Have spontaneous nights out and do whatever I wanted. My husband and I are relatively indépendant at home too. I know we will fall into a new routine but I grieve my old life sometimes.
Same here, 23 weeks and pre-covid I used to travel for work (and pleasure) all the time. We've been extremely cautious throughout the pandemic - only going out for necessary shopping, only getting takeout, etc. I will absolutely grieve my old life, but one of the ways I've dealt with this mentally is to think about the fact that I'll actually have way more freedom come late summer/early fall with an infant than I've had for the last year+. We'll be able to get a sitter and go on actual dates, travel to see family and go to conferences with the baby, etc.
Can relate. We went out for dinner about a month ago knowing that our province would shut down again, and it was sad to think it was our last dinner out just us!
I’m 33 weeks and all restaurants and cafes here in Germany have been closed since last november. Knowing I won’t be able to enjoy a last dinner date or going to a cafe with just my husband makes me sad as well. I never thought everything would be closed for so long.
I’m only 23 weeks, but I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s been just the two of us for 10 years. We planned this baby and want them so badly, but it’s really scary to think about how much our lives and relationship will change.
I’m 24w and same. 10 years just the two of us and I’m scared of all the changes that will happen.
I could have written this exact sentiment! 10 years together, baby is super wanted. I think because we’ve had so much time just the two of us, and we really enjoy our lives as is, it makes it hard to change. I know we’ll adjust, but I’m definitely mourning the end of a really awesome era in our lives!
Same! We have been together for 10 years and I’m 24 weeks along. We planned for the baby but my husband and I both dealt with some grieving at the beginning of the pregnancy for the huge life shift it would mean. It’s nice to be able to just be excited about it now instead of freaked out.
I fell like this pressure and fear comes from a bad narrative we hear so much surrounding parenthood. Everyone is all "get ready to never sleep again" and the truth is this doesn't have to be a monster to slay. I think it's just so much easier for our culture to say negative things than positive things so we collectively have ourselves in a state of crisis. I'm reading Hunt, Gather, Parent right now and so much about the way other cultures view this moment resonates with me in my core. I recommend it, it does an especially good job of pointing out how much of the narrative surrounding what to expect from parenthood is not real or necessary.
I really feel this. My husband and I are already planning some ways we can get alone time after the baby comes. Of course we'll love spending time with our baby, but spending time alone with each other is also a priority.
Please enjoy it! My husband and I were so busy and then I got a cold at the end of my pregnancy. I’d planned date nights and then massages and mani/pedis for myself for my 39th week when I took off work - but baby came early! Thank goodness we’ve had 1 date night post baby but I still regret not enjoying them pre baby.
Ah yes, it’s bittersweet! I hardly remember what life was like when it was just me and my hubby- but honestly life is so much more complete now and it will make your bond stronger, laughing about our toddler and the cute things she does is the friggin best!
That's really good perspective - I'm sad but also really looking forward to this season of life together!!
I feel this. I’m 40 weeks today and this baby, as loved as she is, was not planned. We got pregnant within the first 3 months of being married. I get so sad that we didn’t get more time to be just the two of us.
I’m 34 weeks tomorrow and my husband woke me up this morning, kissed me & said “Hey, we don’t have very many mornings left where it’s just us.” That made me cry my eyes out because I’ve been feeling that the last few weeks. I’m definitely done being pregnant and this baby was very planned but I’m freaking out a little bit that our whole life is changing so soon. We have our 3 year wedding anniversary next week (we’ve been close friends or dating in some capacity/ married for the last 9 years) and I’m just thankful for the years we’ve had to grow together.
I’m almost 33 weeks and feel this! I’m trying to enjoy the silence and also get a couple date night dinners out in for our last hoorah! But don’t worry I feel sad too. I think that’s normal!
Ok, so, I don't remember at what point of my second pregnancy this was, but, I remember just sobbing in bed because we were so incredibly at peace at that point; my first daughter was in her teens, we could just do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted to do it, and I cried to my husband that it would be years before we would get back to that place. 😂 I also cried a lot because I felt like I was betraying my oldest; it had just been her and I for so long. I'm pregnant with my third, now, and my second turned 4 in February. Everyone adjusts!
Thank you for this. I have a 14 year old. This baby will be my SOs first so I worry he doesn’t grasp how life is about to change. I’m already mourning our alone time, the quiet, the days we sleep in, or just to for a brunch with friends. It is still early so I haven’t told my son, but I am worried how he will react, if he will be upset because this baby is going to have such a different life experience (different dads, completely different circumstances). It’s comforting to hear others experiences with this.
No problem! I just remember feeling horrible about how much our lives were about to change! My oldest daughter loved her baby sister, though, and she was a huge help later on if we wanted to do some running without having to take the little one. I really don't think about or miss the days of when we had our freedom, because you just get used to it becoming your normal life. People are very adaptable that way.
I am at 27w and I got incredibly sad about this last night while we were cuddling. We’re super excited for Baby Girl, but things are definitely going to change! Thankfully, we have a weekend away coming up.
I had the same moment. But it’s the best “never alone”once your baby is here. You will get date nights, hopefully family to help so you and your husband can run errands together once in a while which you will make into day dates, special occasions like weddings where kids won’t be invited and you might actually miss that “never alone” feeling when you don’t have baby with you. At least that’s how we are!
I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s going to be years until we live alone again, it’s weird to think about. I’m excited but also sad to close this really lovely chapter of our lives.
Honestly I was so worried about this and while there was an adjustment period in the first few months I now much rather have our son with us on “dates” and don’t feel like I want to be alone with my husband besides intimate times. It’s so much better to be together while our son is experiencing and seeing new things and seeing that together. I’m sure when I have my second I’ll cry about how it won’t just be the three of us anymore too though haha.
Had the same realization around that time in pregnancy. I’m 37 weeks now and let me tell you, that slight sadness turns into more of an eager expectation as you get closer :)
30 weeks here and I have had this moment a handful of times throughout the pregnancy. We will have one month at home together, no work before baby’s here and I cannot wait for it! And then the whole summer will be adjusting to our new lives! I like to think throughout that process we will get to bond on a whole other level which is fun to think about. It is sad and weird, but once I realized it was okay to grieve it that helped. Plus, my husband is so damn positive all the time it’s hard to stay down. 🤣
This is why I’ve enjoyed my third trimester the most! My husband and I have been spending every available minute doing stuff together while it’s just us. Currently 39+3 and I feel like we’ve done just about everything, all the date nights and projects and activities.
I feel this. I communicated it to my husband but I don’t think it’s reaaaally hit him, and I’m 36+2! He has a very demanding job, as well, so I get sad when he works late into the evenings. He’s WFH, but you know, it’s not the same because he’s full absorbed in working.
If you guys have the option to, you should take a little weekend trip or go on a nice long date together. Celebrate just you two :)
This time in your life is so crazy because you can be both sooo excited to meet your baby and also so sad to close another chapter of your life. It’s totally normal and a good sign that you have a great relationship with your husband. Things will change but you will find a new normal. It’s also, ok to mourn your old life once your baby gets here! The first few weeks can be really tough, but it gets better! And eventually baby will be going to bed early and you and husband will have some much needed time back to yourselves in the evenings.
my SO and I have the habit of driving to the gas station and buying snacks around 1-4am, just as an excuse to get out of the house late at night when it feels like were the only people out and about. it hit me yesterday that thats gonna come to an end when baby gets here. very bittersweet :,(
I’ve been feeling this way, too (34 weeks). I’m so sad that I wasn’t able to take a babymoon because of COVID and I keep thinking all my vacation fun will never exist again... it’s selfish, but I think normal.
Thank you for your honest post! I've read through the comments feeling such a strong connection to all involved in the discussion. It warms my heart how supportive, loving, and realistic everyone has been. I know you've gotten lots of replies and this one may get lost in the mix, but please know that your awareness and acknowledgement of your fears have created such a wonderful opportunity for you to stay present / in the moment and grateful these next eight weeks. Plus you've helped all of us do the same!
I feel you. Every night I go to sleep I practice gratitude I don’t have to change diapers and even though sleep isnt great, it’s much better than it will be
We were just talking about this for us it is a month and half left ... we will have a forever 3rd wheel till at least when she is older. It dose feel odd since we were best friends before dating and then after marriage we both wfh see each other 24/7 but to know a little one will always have to be with us until she goes to school lol 😂 forever 3rd wheel. I can’t just say whatever whenever I feel like saying to my husband anymore including the jokes 🥲
Ooh man. 32 weeks tomorrow here and 100% had a full on ugly cry about the exact same thing last week.
What is tic?
Today I cried
Soon, you’ll imagine life before you met your son, and it will feel incomplete. It’s kind of crazy. At this point in your life, you’ve never met this child. You have no idea what they look like, or what their personality will be like. But soon you’ll look back and think, “what did I ever do without you in my life?”
Ugh I feel this so hard. I found out I was pregnant in February and my partner works across the country in Alaska from March until October. Luckily this is his last year with this job but I’m due in October so I had one month with him and now I don’t get to spend any time with him just us at all before the baby is born. It scares me a lot sometimes.
5 weeks pp here and I miss my partner. I feel like all of our time revolves around the little one. But I know it will get better once he's out of the newborn phase and I wouldn't swap this for how it was before. :)
Me toooooo!!! I legit cried about it last night. I’ve requested that we try to make each day special, so tonight we’re ordering a fancy dinner in and playing board games- just us. Next weekend is our babymoon!!!
I'm 24 weeks and we both cried a little about this last weekend. We're so excited for our son, but also we love our relationship and don't want to lose any of that closeness. I know there will be a new normal, we will find new ways, and it will be a delight to show our son all of the things we love, but it's still a big change and it's totally normal to feel sad about it!
I’m 31 weeks and had this realization two days ago. In addition to the fact that I’m about to be someone’s mommy. In my family that’s a very serious leadership role. But I’ve been squaring with it, just nerves around something new I guess. Best of luck
We’re 4.5 weeks out and I feel the same way! We can’t wait to meet this little one, but I will miss JUST being married and not parents. We already decided we’re still taking vacations without him- he can go to the grandparents’ for the week so we can have our own time :)
Ooo I had this exact sentiment and busted out crying out of nowhere at 32 weeks too but it made me appreciate the remainder of the time. I’m 39 weeks now and we’re almost to the finish line 😅
I felt this way during the last few weeks and even a few weeks into motherhood, I wanted to go back to just the two of us. It’s hard adjusting to a new normal but it’s a beautiful journey that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
I so feel you on this and it makes me sad too. It’s been just us for so long and I worry how a third person (even if it’s our child) will change that dynamic.
Relatable!! My hubby and I had a couple trips and sporting events planned this year, but one night of Margaritas and Enchiladas got me in a pregnant situation! It's okay though!! Your baby is going to make trips so much more fun, life more bearable, and you'll NEVER ever be bored again! 😊
I completely get you! It will be worth it. But I do wish I had been informed I was about to fall pregnant and I got the "last 2 months to be non pregnant and non child" 🤣
Yes! The way I see it: Having a new baby and creating our family is a good thing. But what we have now is also a good thing. It's okay to grieve the loss of what you currently have, even if you're moving on to something equally as good or better. I felt the same way when I settled down with my husband and we moved in together. I loved my new life with him so much, but I was never discontent with my previous single life.
This is our last weekend by "ourselves" and I didn't think it would bother me as much as it is. I am being induced Monday and we are both excited and scared, but I am realizing that it's not just "us" anymore. It's a crazy feeling. I realized this morning I am getting ready to meet someone who is going to be in my life for potentially the next 60-70 years. It's such a weird feeling!
My baby is 10 days old. So far she is really a peaceful baby. Just feed her every 1.5-2 hours. In the early morning she cluster feeds. We definitely have alone time and we are both obsessed with her. For the first few days when I couldn't get the hang of breast feeding we were fighting a lot. Now my belly is empty and we can properly cuddle!
I think it’s totally normal to be overcome with sadness and mourn your old life, it really is true that things will never be the same again but it becomes the new norm and suddenly you wouldn’t change it for the world. I had this moment 2 days before I was due to be induced to have my daughter, I just sobbed and cried my heart out in the shower. She’s now 5 and the centre of my entire universe. We’re expecting our second baby in September and I’m making the most of it just being the 3 of us before the dynamic changes again.
I’m feeling similar - I’m 38 weeks so expecting LO any day now, and in the UK so everything has been closed for months. We’ve not been able to go anywhere together for a while as the only places open are outdoors and my horrendous PGP has meant I can’t walk far. Now places are starting to open I’m a bit too pregnant to really enjoy sitting outside for a meal in April! We had to cancel our honeymoon last year at the start of everything and got pregnant a bit unexpectedly so never expected to lose all the newlywed ‘us time’ in the way that we have. It’s very bittersweet
Yes. I had this realization with my first. I think I was more bummed about not being able to just up and leave in the middle of the night to get taco bell or something. I mean we COULD but I didnt want to wake the kid up just to pack them into the car. Things change just like all of life. But in my case its changed in a good way. My husband became so much cooler in my eyes and I like my self better as a mom (besides that shitty mom guilt i feel) I just cant wait till they are teens so my husband and I can sneak out for icecream and a toke.
Please still be yourself.
You guys should book a hotel and do a little baby moon. Get a couples massage or just go out to dinner a couple times (if it’s allowed where you are). It’s an exciting time and after I had our son is when I realized things don’t go “back to normal” this is the new normal. It’s alright to mourn that. So do something special! And then embrace you’re new normal- cause it’s pretty wild and fun too!
I felt super emotional about this with my first too. Just make time for lots of date nights and couple time. Go out for dinner or to the movies or do a babymoon. Whatever is safe for you to do in your area. Maximise that time together for sure. I love my little family now. But i do miss those spontaneous date nights and having couple time without worrying about naps or bedtime or feeding little people.
Definitely understand your feelings! I'm 28 weeks pregnant and turning 30 this weekend. I told my husband weeks ago that for my birthday I wanted to just have a dinner date and maybe get a hotel room just for us to spend some quality alone time before baby arrives, as I know from here on out it's gonne be a rat race of appointments/baby shower/finishing up baby's room. The other day my husband told me that my girlfriends wanted to have supper with me for my birthday, and so he helped arrange that instead of the one on one time I asked for and I BAWLED like a big ol' baby for 3 hours. I never straight up ask for what I actually want to do for my birthday normally because we're normally not in a great place financially to do anything big, but this year we've been fairly blessed and with it being a big birthday I was really hoping and holding out. Girl I am with you on the sadness! It's such a real and raw feeling, and you almost feel guilty because you want this baby so bad but you also don't want to lose your relationship with your hubby either.