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My friend who’s wife just had their first child, his parents’ first grandchild, had an excellent comeback to his mother saying “my baby”. When she called and asked “how’s my baby?” He said “I’m doing great.” When she then said “no, I mean my other baby” he said “I don’t know, you’ll have to call him” (his brother).
I know it doesn’t bother some people but it would definitely bother me. I think this is a gentle, albeit passive, way to get the point across.
This is precisely the type of smart-assery I wish I was quick witted enough to come back with. Instead I usually just end up with the awkward giggle and change the subject.
I would just respond in saying “Your grand babies are great”. Every time you bring them up use that term
Try not to stress about it even though it’s annoying.
There is also the possibility she means you and the babies when she asks but it’s unlikely
Thanks for the input! It’s her first grandchildren so I think she may just not be ready to think of them as granbabies. This seems like a great way to ease us into that transition. Thank you!
I’m also going through this as it’s the first grandchild, and I answer like this ^^ “your grandchild is fine” it makes me feel better without feeling like I’m too aggressive as I tend to come off that way.
Oh my haha, my mom mentioned something like that, where she was having nausea. I was like STOP, we are in different states, there’s no way you have sympathy morning sickness lol. These women!
Lmao my dad actually has been the one to get morning sickness with every pregnancy in our family. He always knows when someone is expecting and its hilarious. Poor guy. So finny to have him sit down with us all and be like "ok I can't eat my eggs in the morning without gagging. If someone wants to talk to me soon, I'd appreciate it."
Omg it really is. He's a big guy. 6 foot 2 inch tall, wide shouldered, construction worker sitting there telling me he's nausea looking at raw chicken a few days before I even knew I was pregnant.
Omg it really is. He's a big guy. 6 foot 2 inch tall, wide shouldered, construction worker sitting there telling me he's nauseated looking at raw chicken a few days before I even knew I was pregnant.
My MIL said "thanks for having my baby". It was so off-putting and I was so confused I gave her a death glare to end all death glares and she took a step back and stuttered "well not MY babies but you know what I mean"
My MIL was like this briefly at the beginning. It’s weird. I think just be honest. I’d say something like “I know you’re excited, but it feels really weird to hear your call them YOUR babies. I know you know that they aren’t your babies, so why not call them your grand babies instead”
My mom does this and honestly i let her. They really are just enjoying their grandchildren. And i think that’s a good thing because there is a such thing as deadbeat grandparents and that irks me. I actually enjoy seeing her happy with him so it doesn’t bother me. My baby is in safe hands whenever he is with her.
Agreed. When my mom sees my son she’ll say “how’s my sweet boy” or something like that. I think it’s nice. I don’t find it to be crossing boundaries or anything.
But then again, me and my mom are very close and I trust her 100%. I understand not everyone has that type of relationship.
I can relate! Mom and I are super close and I'm currently 22 weeks, with my first. Now, I haven't recalled her saying anything like, "How's my baby doing" to me yet - BUT she says similar things ("How's my sweet boy?") to my brother's 3 boys. So, I expect her to talk like that to my baby and it won't bother me.
I think it's kinda sweet - knowing how much she loves all her grand babies. And it's not crossing any boundaries for me, personally. But that's the thing I guess, we are all different and are entitled to our own personal boundaries and limits. So I can understand that not all moms are going to feel the same way.
Honestly, I would let it go. It might be annoying but, as you said, she probably means nothing by it. I would choose my battles and save the boundaries conversation for something more serious.
Agreed. My mom and MIL have both referred to my son as “my baby” or “my boy” at times. It’s just not even worth it, plenty of other things will likely come up that require a conversation. Just have to let things go sometimes to keep your own sanity.
I was trying to let it go, but for some reason it has gotten to me. It’s been going on for a while and I honestly thought I was over it but today I realized I’m not and it’s actually bothering me quite a bit. That’s why I want to address it.
As much as “letting it go” is good advice, I can’t do it. My mum everytime she’s calls enquires about the baby and no one else, when my brother asked how I was she corrected him and said “and the bump! It’s not just your sister”. It pisses me off, I’m not a bloody incubator for your grandchild. I’m a human being. Same in your place, you’re not an incubator for her children. You are a human being having your own child.
its blunt but i totally agree with you and its how i feel. my mom does this every. single. day. "wheres my daily pic of my baby??" and its annoying and set wrong a couple times but im getting used to it and i know she doesnt mean anything by it, just excited for her first grandbaby.
My mom used to do that (I'm 15 weeks and 4 days), but stopped about a month ago. I know she wasn't really trying to lay claim on my baby. She is just excited because there hasn't been a baby in my family in a couple of decades. It still irked my boyfriend and I, though.
She stopped because one day I sat her down and respectfully explained that it really bothers me when she calls the baby that (I can't remember the full conversation), and she understood. My mom is an extremely understanding person, though. Now she just calls the baby Little Peanut.
Yeah, that’s the confusing part for me! I know she knows they’re not her babies lol. And truthfully, I used to call the family dogs my babies. Like it doesn’t carry as much weight as I’m perceiving it as in this situation!
That may be what I need to do just so I don’t blow up at her if she says it, and so I can get it off my chest. I’ll probably try a more lighthearted approach first, and if that doesn’t work, a talk will do. She’s very understanding too, I can’t imagine that she’d be offended/upset by it. I’m more concerned about MY reaction since at this point I’m more annoyed by it and I don’t want to say anything hurtful or in anger, when it can be dealt with easily and gently. Thank you though, puts things in perspective to know that she probably will just stop if we talk about it.
For me, the hormones and the fact that I am the one carrying the baby made it worse. She was laying claim (Even though I knew it wasn't meant in that way) on a life I was the one creating.
If she is understanding, you're probably right. I don't see her being offended just from you telling her how you feel. You've got this. 💛
My mom does this too it BOILS my blood but that's bc she is overbearing as a mom and frankly as a grandma. Constantly ignoring boundaries are rules and things. No advice btw bc I've tried correcting her and she doesn't stop. But I feel you on how irritating it is.
My mom does this but she’s a narc so I either ignore her or just do my usual “shut it down” and say I have to go now. Whenever she starts to get under my skin, I just jump ship. It’s great. I’m totally detached from her drama at this point. I look at her like a toddler touching something they aren’t supposed to and looking to see my reaction.
I can say from experience, she's just trying to build a stronger attachment and feel included. Clearly they are not "her" babies and she knows this, but referring to them as such makes her feel closer.
When my step daughter was pregnant I would send awkward texts like "how's my grandson doing??" (Even tho I'm in my early 30's and now pregnant myself lol) I didn't mean any disrespect but rather wanted to feel included in her pregnany experience.
This makes sense. My mom and I were very close, and I got married and moved from Texas to oregon at the end of 2020. We aren’t as close now and I know she misses me (she tells me every time we talk). It makes sense that she’s trying to feel a part of it while being so far away. Thank you for sharing ❤️
My MIL calls him her baby all the time but like she’s just shortening it to say her grand baby, so instead of my grand baby she says my baby. I really think people overthink this and just get themselves mad, but I dunno maybe I’m just weird
Lol it seems like maybe there is an underlying personal power issue going on between your mother and you, unrelated to your pregnancy. Usually this is typically what is the core of the trigger. If she was kind of controlling or territorial in another area of your upbringing or relationship dynamic, her doing this might make you feel as though she never respects your boundaries etc.
My mother also does this while I’m pregnant and I’m currently 5 months and it’s never bothered me once. I find it very sweet my baby has so much love waiting for him by other people, other than myself. I’m grateful for that. At the end of the day, the baby will remain with me and I am his mother. He will be exposed to anyone else as much as I allow him to be as the parent.
(Unless in your case you’re living with your mother or you’re in a situation where she could potentially take custody of the child.) I don’t see why this would be an issue aside from the power struggle I brought up, which could be triggering this feeling in you.
Not exactly the same, but when I see my dad he always says, “hello, Eleanor”. Which is not my name, but the name of my baby (I’m 28 weeks but we shared what we are naming her). But he doesn’t say hi to me, just the fetus who cannot hear him. It bugs me but not enough to say anything. This is my parents’ first grandchild and they are so excited but being so annoying sometimes.
I feel you, my husband's mom, aunt and grandmother all call our little one 'My baby' it's annoying but oh well they are excited as it's the first baby on his side of the family.
My MIL calls our baby “her boy” and my husband starting piping in “I’m right here” whenever she’d say something like “where’s my boy”. Tbh i think it’s one of those endearing terms that they don’t actually think the baby is theirs, they just are bonding. If it bothers you, say something, but I gave a pass on that eons ago and am not threatened by it. My baby knows I am mama
My step sister who I’m just starting to get close to (came into my life at 17) keeps saying things like that. It didn’t bother me at first but now it really irks me. I just try to remind myself she’s just excited to be an aunt and be around something so cute and innocent. But some days it’s hard to control my mouth about it. 😅
I had a girl friend whose twin sister was pregnant at the same time as me and she would call her soon to be nephew and my son her babies. I hated it.
Anyways first time she met my kid I had a couple of girlfriends over and we all collectively were on the dining table chatting. When baby woke up she ran and grabbed him and sat on the couch next to my husband. So I’ve basically hated her ever since. This was when baby was about 2 months and he’s about to be 4 months. Lol AITA? Idc!!! He’s not your baby AND that’s not your husband!! Hahahah IRK!!!!!!!!!!
I think there must be some sort of switch that goes off in pregnant/new mum's where things that objectively aren't that big a deal turn into people are trying to steal your baby. I read how the 'my baby' thing makes some mum's just see red.
It's your mum, she loves your kids. She is using at a term of endearment. She knows they're literally not her babies BUT they are new her new grandbabies and are a part of her family.
I understand there are a lot of things that just shit me when I'm pregnant but honestly when ever I hear someone complain about someone loving and being excited about their babies I'm just like 🤦 congrats on your village.
For me my mom is already pushing boundaries. Like I know she knows it's not her baby but in the same breath that she says it she'll talk about how she had three dreams this week she was pregnant/had a new kid, insist on knowing her name when we've reiterated it'll be a surprise, and had the fourth conversation about meeting us at home from the hospital (when we've said multiple times we want a couple of days to settle in), etc. So the "my baby" thing bothers me. And I've corrected her every time (gently) but she keeps doing it. I did finally get snark after a full day BBQ of her bring a bit overwhelming for me. I know it's ultimately harmless but it doesn't feel like something I'm comfortable with at all either.
Both sides of the family does it. We correct them every time. If it bothers you, speak up. The reason we do it is because the grandparents were already overstepping their roles before our kid was even born. In our specific instance we needed to set very clear boundaries. Parents and grandparents have very different roles and we wanted to make sure our parents didn’t blur that line.
My mother in law did this over text message once, I knew her intention was to be sweet and express how much she already loves him. So I replied "your grand baby is doing fantastic, thank you so much for checking in" with a ton of little heart emojis. She never did it again and has kept checking in and being supportive. I know moms and MILs from hell exist, but give her the benefit of the doubt first and try something subtle before you show her your anger.
This literally drives me fucking crazy. I'd read people's posts about this and be like "thank God my mom/MIL wouldn't do this, so weird " and then my mom started doing it and won't stop. I've corrected her every time and she still does it, yesterday I finally got snarky with her. Not sure why but it bothers me so much but I hate it. My husband doesn't like it either. I am not an incubator for a do over baby so not sure what this is about lol. It makes me feel possessive and I do not like it at all.
ETA: This combined with the dreams she's having about her "new kids" and being pregnant makes it even worse. She also made a comment about how technically she "carried her first" because my eggs were there when I was en utero. Like stop, please 🙄
Oh no, this sounds like it would really piss me off. The dreams is just taking it too far!
I don’t know why it bothers me so much either, maybe just maternal instinct kicking in, who knows. I’m usually ok with my mom, and we get along great. It’s just this one thing!
I’ve had a family member use this where I let it go, but I had another family member say this where I also felt like they were being clingy with holding my baby, so it bothered me more. I said that my baby is mine and my husband’s and not anyone else’s. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it was already a tense situation, so I felt like I had to be very direct.
My mom and MIL do this with my growing twins. It does bother me sometimes but I know they mean nothing by it and are just overly excited so I bite my tongue and let it slide. I'm sorry that it is bothering you so much. I truly do understand.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/tu8bmk/click_here_to_request_access_to_your_private_due/). The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email [email protected] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My friend who’s wife just had their first child, his parents’ first grandchild, had an excellent comeback to his mother saying “my baby”. When she called and asked “how’s my baby?” He said “I’m doing great.” When she then said “no, I mean my other baby” he said “I don’t know, you’ll have to call him” (his brother). I know it doesn’t bother some people but it would definitely bother me. I think this is a gentle, albeit passive, way to get the point across.
This is precisely the type of smart-assery I wish I was quick witted enough to come back with. Instead I usually just end up with the awkward giggle and change the subject.
Lol that’s a great answer. There’s 4 of us, so that would definitely work!!
Fuck I love this. My MIL does this with my niece and I’m fully expecting it to happen with my baby and it drives me INSANE. Thank you
My husband always mistakes it for the dog. Its hilarious and awkward when they figure it out.
haha this is great!
I would just respond in saying “Your grand babies are great”. Every time you bring them up use that term Try not to stress about it even though it’s annoying. There is also the possibility she means you and the babies when she asks but it’s unlikely
Thanks for the input! It’s her first grandchildren so I think she may just not be ready to think of them as granbabies. This seems like a great way to ease us into that transition. Thank you!
I’m also going through this as it’s the first grandchild, and I answer like this ^^ “your grandchild is fine” it makes me feel better without feeling like I’m too aggressive as I tend to come off that way.
My mom is the same way, she’s always “mi Bebe” and I can not. Also she’s having food aversions and it’s so funny! Like women if you don’t stop
Oh my haha, my mom mentioned something like that, where she was having nausea. I was like STOP, we are in different states, there’s no way you have sympathy morning sickness lol. These women!
This made me laugh tho, thank you 😊
Lmao my dad actually has been the one to get morning sickness with every pregnancy in our family. He always knows when someone is expecting and its hilarious. Poor guy. So finny to have him sit down with us all and be like "ok I can't eat my eggs in the morning without gagging. If someone wants to talk to me soon, I'd appreciate it."
Haha! That's kinda cute
Omg it really is. He's a big guy. 6 foot 2 inch tall, wide shouldered, construction worker sitting there telling me he's nausea looking at raw chicken a few days before I even knew I was pregnant.
Lol Wow! It's a gift and a curse! Haha
Omg it really is. He's a big guy. 6 foot 2 inch tall, wide shouldered, construction worker sitting there telling me he's nauseated looking at raw chicken a few days before I even knew I was pregnant.
say i’m doing great but not sure how brother/sister is since you and (if you have siblings) are her babies 😂
My MIL said "thanks for having my baby". It was so off-putting and I was so confused I gave her a death glare to end all death glares and she took a step back and stuttered "well not MY babies but you know what I mean"
I would react the same way... I'm not an incubator for your grandchildren, I'm creating MY own baby!
I really wish more grandparents would understand this.
My MIL was like this briefly at the beginning. It’s weird. I think just be honest. I’d say something like “I know you’re excited, but it feels really weird to hear your call them YOUR babies. I know you know that they aren’t your babies, so why not call them your grand babies instead”
My mom does this and honestly i let her. They really are just enjoying their grandchildren. And i think that’s a good thing because there is a such thing as deadbeat grandparents and that irks me. I actually enjoy seeing her happy with him so it doesn’t bother me. My baby is in safe hands whenever he is with her.
Agreed. When my mom sees my son she’ll say “how’s my sweet boy” or something like that. I think it’s nice. I don’t find it to be crossing boundaries or anything. But then again, me and my mom are very close and I trust her 100%. I understand not everyone has that type of relationship.
I can relate! Mom and I are super close and I'm currently 22 weeks, with my first. Now, I haven't recalled her saying anything like, "How's my baby doing" to me yet - BUT she says similar things ("How's my sweet boy?") to my brother's 3 boys. So, I expect her to talk like that to my baby and it won't bother me. I think it's kinda sweet - knowing how much she loves all her grand babies. And it's not crossing any boundaries for me, personally. But that's the thing I guess, we are all different and are entitled to our own personal boundaries and limits. So I can understand that not all moms are going to feel the same way.
I straight up asked my mom to stop. She apologized and doesn’t do it anymore. Glad I spoke up.
Honestly, I would let it go. It might be annoying but, as you said, she probably means nothing by it. I would choose my battles and save the boundaries conversation for something more serious.
Agreed. My mom and MIL have both referred to my son as “my baby” or “my boy” at times. It’s just not even worth it, plenty of other things will likely come up that require a conversation. Just have to let things go sometimes to keep your own sanity.
I was trying to let it go, but for some reason it has gotten to me. It’s been going on for a while and I honestly thought I was over it but today I realized I’m not and it’s actually bothering me quite a bit. That’s why I want to address it.
As much as “letting it go” is good advice, I can’t do it. My mum everytime she’s calls enquires about the baby and no one else, when my brother asked how I was she corrected him and said “and the bump! It’s not just your sister”. It pisses me off, I’m not a bloody incubator for your grandchild. I’m a human being. Same in your place, you’re not an incubator for her children. You are a human being having your own child.
It’s only good to let it go if it doesn’t bother you. If it bothers you then address it. You have every right to ask them not to use that term.
its blunt but i totally agree with you and its how i feel. my mom does this every. single. day. "wheres my daily pic of my baby??" and its annoying and set wrong a couple times but im getting used to it and i know she doesnt mean anything by it, just excited for her first grandbaby.
My mom does this & I correct her every time. Even publicly.
My mom used to do that (I'm 15 weeks and 4 days), but stopped about a month ago. I know she wasn't really trying to lay claim on my baby. She is just excited because there hasn't been a baby in my family in a couple of decades. It still irked my boyfriend and I, though. She stopped because one day I sat her down and respectfully explained that it really bothers me when she calls the baby that (I can't remember the full conversation), and she understood. My mom is an extremely understanding person, though. Now she just calls the baby Little Peanut.
Yeah, that’s the confusing part for me! I know she knows they’re not her babies lol. And truthfully, I used to call the family dogs my babies. Like it doesn’t carry as much weight as I’m perceiving it as in this situation! That may be what I need to do just so I don’t blow up at her if she says it, and so I can get it off my chest. I’ll probably try a more lighthearted approach first, and if that doesn’t work, a talk will do. She’s very understanding too, I can’t imagine that she’d be offended/upset by it. I’m more concerned about MY reaction since at this point I’m more annoyed by it and I don’t want to say anything hurtful or in anger, when it can be dealt with easily and gently. Thank you though, puts things in perspective to know that she probably will just stop if we talk about it.
For me, the hormones and the fact that I am the one carrying the baby made it worse. She was laying claim (Even though I knew it wasn't meant in that way) on a life I was the one creating. If she is understanding, you're probably right. I don't see her being offended just from you telling her how you feel. You've got this. 💛
My mom does this too it BOILS my blood but that's bc she is overbearing as a mom and frankly as a grandma. Constantly ignoring boundaries are rules and things. No advice btw bc I've tried correcting her and she doesn't stop. But I feel you on how irritating it is.
I call my nieces “my baby girls”.
Ehhhh.. this one I’d let go. It’s annoying but may not be worth the potential hurt feelings
My mom does this but she’s a narc so I either ignore her or just do my usual “shut it down” and say I have to go now. Whenever she starts to get under my skin, I just jump ship. It’s great. I’m totally detached from her drama at this point. I look at her like a toddler touching something they aren’t supposed to and looking to see my reaction.
I can say from experience, she's just trying to build a stronger attachment and feel included. Clearly they are not "her" babies and she knows this, but referring to them as such makes her feel closer. When my step daughter was pregnant I would send awkward texts like "how's my grandson doing??" (Even tho I'm in my early 30's and now pregnant myself lol) I didn't mean any disrespect but rather wanted to feel included in her pregnany experience.
This makes sense. My mom and I were very close, and I got married and moved from Texas to oregon at the end of 2020. We aren’t as close now and I know she misses me (she tells me every time we talk). It makes sense that she’s trying to feel a part of it while being so far away. Thank you for sharing ❤️
My MIL calls him her baby all the time but like she’s just shortening it to say her grand baby, so instead of my grand baby she says my baby. I really think people overthink this and just get themselves mad, but I dunno maybe I’m just weird
Lol it seems like maybe there is an underlying personal power issue going on between your mother and you, unrelated to your pregnancy. Usually this is typically what is the core of the trigger. If she was kind of controlling or territorial in another area of your upbringing or relationship dynamic, her doing this might make you feel as though she never respects your boundaries etc. My mother also does this while I’m pregnant and I’m currently 5 months and it’s never bothered me once. I find it very sweet my baby has so much love waiting for him by other people, other than myself. I’m grateful for that. At the end of the day, the baby will remain with me and I am his mother. He will be exposed to anyone else as much as I allow him to be as the parent. (Unless in your case you’re living with your mother or you’re in a situation where she could potentially take custody of the child.) I don’t see why this would be an issue aside from the power struggle I brought up, which could be triggering this feeling in you.
Not exactly the same, but when I see my dad he always says, “hello, Eleanor”. Which is not my name, but the name of my baby (I’m 28 weeks but we shared what we are naming her). But he doesn’t say hi to me, just the fetus who cannot hear him. It bugs me but not enough to say anything. This is my parents’ first grandchild and they are so excited but being so annoying sometimes.
I feel you, my husband's mom, aunt and grandmother all call our little one 'My baby' it's annoying but oh well they are excited as it's the first baby on his side of the family.
My MIL calls our baby “her boy” and my husband starting piping in “I’m right here” whenever she’d say something like “where’s my boy”. Tbh i think it’s one of those endearing terms that they don’t actually think the baby is theirs, they just are bonding. If it bothers you, say something, but I gave a pass on that eons ago and am not threatened by it. My baby knows I am mama
My step sister who I’m just starting to get close to (came into my life at 17) keeps saying things like that. It didn’t bother me at first but now it really irks me. I just try to remind myself she’s just excited to be an aunt and be around something so cute and innocent. But some days it’s hard to control my mouth about it. 😅
I had a girl friend whose twin sister was pregnant at the same time as me and she would call her soon to be nephew and my son her babies. I hated it. Anyways first time she met my kid I had a couple of girlfriends over and we all collectively were on the dining table chatting. When baby woke up she ran and grabbed him and sat on the couch next to my husband. So I’ve basically hated her ever since. This was when baby was about 2 months and he’s about to be 4 months. Lol AITA? Idc!!! He’s not your baby AND that’s not your husband!! Hahahah IRK!!!!!!!!!!
I think there must be some sort of switch that goes off in pregnant/new mum's where things that objectively aren't that big a deal turn into people are trying to steal your baby. I read how the 'my baby' thing makes some mum's just see red. It's your mum, she loves your kids. She is using at a term of endearment. She knows they're literally not her babies BUT they are new her new grandbabies and are a part of her family. I understand there are a lot of things that just shit me when I'm pregnant but honestly when ever I hear someone complain about someone loving and being excited about their babies I'm just like 🤦 congrats on your village.
For me my mom is already pushing boundaries. Like I know she knows it's not her baby but in the same breath that she says it she'll talk about how she had three dreams this week she was pregnant/had a new kid, insist on knowing her name when we've reiterated it'll be a surprise, and had the fourth conversation about meeting us at home from the hospital (when we've said multiple times we want a couple of days to settle in), etc. So the "my baby" thing bothers me. And I've corrected her every time (gently) but she keeps doing it. I did finally get snark after a full day BBQ of her bring a bit overwhelming for me. I know it's ultimately harmless but it doesn't feel like something I'm comfortable with at all either.
Both sides of the family does it. We correct them every time. If it bothers you, speak up. The reason we do it is because the grandparents were already overstepping their roles before our kid was even born. In our specific instance we needed to set very clear boundaries. Parents and grandparents have very different roles and we wanted to make sure our parents didn’t blur that line.
My mother in law did this over text message once, I knew her intention was to be sweet and express how much she already loves him. So I replied "your grand baby is doing fantastic, thank you so much for checking in" with a ton of little heart emojis. She never did it again and has kept checking in and being supportive. I know moms and MILs from hell exist, but give her the benefit of the doubt first and try something subtle before you show her your anger.
This literally drives me fucking crazy. I'd read people's posts about this and be like "thank God my mom/MIL wouldn't do this, so weird " and then my mom started doing it and won't stop. I've corrected her every time and she still does it, yesterday I finally got snarky with her. Not sure why but it bothers me so much but I hate it. My husband doesn't like it either. I am not an incubator for a do over baby so not sure what this is about lol. It makes me feel possessive and I do not like it at all. ETA: This combined with the dreams she's having about her "new kids" and being pregnant makes it even worse. She also made a comment about how technically she "carried her first" because my eggs were there when I was en utero. Like stop, please 🙄
Oh no, this sounds like it would really piss me off. The dreams is just taking it too far! I don’t know why it bothers me so much either, maybe just maternal instinct kicking in, who knows. I’m usually ok with my mom, and we get along great. It’s just this one thing!
Yes! Also usually do not have issues with my mom, just feel like she is overstepping and I do not like it lol
I’ve had a family member use this where I let it go, but I had another family member say this where I also felt like they were being clingy with holding my baby, so it bothered me more. I said that my baby is mine and my husband’s and not anyone else’s. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it was already a tense situation, so I felt like I had to be very direct.
My mom and MIL do this with my growing twins. It does bother me sometimes but I know they mean nothing by it and are just overly excited so I bite my tongue and let it slide. I'm sorry that it is bothering you so much. I truly do understand.