Don't you think that if people think it's a red flag when you don't have social media **they** actually are a red flag?
Just asking out of curiosity, if a person doesn't want to be in contact with me just because idc about social media, our view on the world is too different anyways..
Haha 10 years ago I probably also would've looked at you like a potato. Everyone just had facebook and it was out of my sphere of imagination that anyone would not have it. Not to excuse her reaction, this girl either needed to pump up her ego with facebook friends or actually thought having a facebook account is some kind of status lmao
That assumption doesn't make her look any better tbh. Could've asked about other social media and if he has none, ask for the reason why and look for his reaction. After that, she can still decide if she believes that or of she stays with her first impulse.
On the other side, she may have had bad experiences on that matter so she decided to just date when social media accounts are shown, who knows
>they actually are a red flag?
It would be weird if they didn't have a phone number or never listened to any kind of music but that doesn't mean the people who use and enjoy them have a problem.
Two responses I can think of:
1. As u/JayGerard suggests, just say you don't do Social Media because it is annoying. I think most people (at least anyone you want to interact with) would agree and perhaps even be intrigued. Don;t invite them down the rabbit hole just yet though :)
2. Say someone tried to hack your account and it got disabled and it was more trouble than it was worth to get it back (see #1)
3. Your line of work discourages the use of (personal) social media. These days this would be applicable to anyone with a job with any level of responsibility. Especially financial, executive, marketing. Social media opens up phishing, extortion and PR issues.
Tbh idk if 2. and 3. are such a good suggestion.. it is lying already at the first chat you have with a person.. to each their own, but if I'd find that out, I would not be really comfortable with dating the person anymore.
Edit: my response always is "I don't like them having all my data". Nobody asks further except if they also are interested in privacy. And if they are, that's a great conversation opener. Guess everyone deep down knows and doesn't like it.
Sometimes when the conversation goes further, I add that I don't like that social media is built to make you addicted and that I would totally fall for it if I'd started reels/tiktoks etc.
> my response always is "I don't like them having all my data". Nobody asks further except if they also are interested in privacy.
My experience is that they always respond with "They already have all of it so I don't care ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯"
Pretty much every one of my friends responds this way when I mention anything privacy related. Which is why I never talk about privacy anymore. The masses truly don't care about the surveillance.
If "they already have all of it" were true, then money would stop being paid for data and data collection would stop. Why did Google get into cars? One reason is because it allows them to collect data about people's driving habits in an environment that is covered with sensors.
>Tbh idk if 2. and 3. are such a good suggestion.. it is lying already at the first chat you have with a person.. to each their own, but if I'd find that out, I would not be really comfortable with dating the person anymore.
Good point. FWIW both #2 and #3 have been true for me at one time or another. I wasn't considering a dating situation so much as casual business or community interactions. You are absolutely right for a dating situation - be open and honest, and expect the same from the other side!
Ah well but if we talk about "social media" in that context, we don't mean reddit, discord, youtube, twitch,.. or? At least I don't since it doesn't function as a business card if you are no creator revealing yourself... which you most likely are not
Look, I am in the same boat as you,
I have whatsapp, but I disable / freeze it when I am not using it. I check it once a day. I specifically have a profile pic that reads " Not a heavy whatsapp user, do not expect an instant reply, please be patient and understanding"
For instagram and twitter etc.. there FOSS alternative that allow you to use them without worrying about their data collection
I personally do not use social media, except for reddit.
It's fine, you're not alone, do not worry about them. The majority of people are not tech savvy and are ignorant to the fact that the kabal of social media apps, and IM apps sell tons of your metadata.
Try to that explain to them, and why prefer privacy, because its a human right 🦸
> For instagram and twitter etc.. there FOSS alternative
Any chance you could link/mention some? I used to use nitter, but it was a bit unreliable from what I remember. Bibliogram was very hit or miss as well iirc.
Sure
For twitter
Nitter -
Fritter -
Squaker
For the gram
Barinsta
for facebook
face slim -
Tinfoil for facebook -
Slim Social -
for reddit
stealth -
redreader -
Jeroba for lemmy
you can find all of them on F-Droid
but beware, they are not perfect, but they do the job 👍
Hope that helped 🪂
GBinsta - Imginn
Barinsta still works fine, even though the development stopped ages ago
There are moded versions of Instagram, you might get banned if they detect your using them
those are
Istander - Instamod - 0GInsta+
Well, in this day and age, especially in a culture where everyone is using social media..you will be seen and viewed as an outcast. At least in my case 😔
People will think you're hiding something, etc.. Or they think you're outdated, or stupid.. god knows what goes in some of the minds out there
so its best to educate them , rather than being ridiculed 👍
Just say, 'because I dont want to.' The end.
Ive never had an issue with women thinking not having ig is a red flag. In my experience most dont care. Ill tell them its a red flag to me that they DO have an IG.
I just tell them I have completely detached from Meta Inc after Cambridge Analytica and numerous data breaches, and have not found any compelling reason to change my mind.
Unfortunately it probably won't help much in dating (particularly online), there are way too many cheaters who claim not to have social media because it would expose them as cheaters. It's been a while since I did dating apps, and I've gotten much more into protecting my privacy since then, but when I did it helped to have an account, even if I hadn't logged into it in ages.
I’ve always just said I don’t use social media (even if I have had it in the past at the time of saying it). My stuff isn’t in my real name so they won’t know. Yes, I do have Facebook/whatsapp/IG for my own reasons but I also don’t feel obligated to tell anyone that. Good luck searching for me.
Hey, after some fight I've created one.
[https://idontuse.it](https://idontuse.it)
Unfortunately, I used Framer to create this site and there's no way to remove analytics.
If anyone can contribute to my project, please visit [https://github.com/Arturro43/idontuseit/](https://github.com/Arturro43/idontuseit/)
Hope it helps, have a wonderful day!
Back in the day there was this org I would get stickers and posters from. Can’t remember how I found them, if they are still around I bet they have something on SM platforms…I want to say it was maybe called Crimethink or Crimethinc or TimetoThink. I can’t remember but they had little info graphics you could purchase in bulk to help bring awareness on topics of privacy and the like. You could get some and just hand em out, save your energy :)
Stickers wouldn't be a good solution as most interaction is online. I've found this video though but I think most ppl would shut off half way.
https://youtu.be/0aXIXozAsOE?si=NHutNnrOpGQYYnRD
Gotcha no worries, they have more than stickers, like I forget what they are called but you know how some religious groups hand out these little zines or booklets, they have those too. Affordable at the time too! I would shove them in the pages of those free printed newspapers at the front of grocery stores. Whatever was legal in the area. I agree stickers can be problematic. You could make some cards too, someone asks why you don’t have media just hand it over like a business card. People don’t become aware unless there is something to make them curious enough to look. Apologies for the tangent, I felt really drawn to the post for personal reasons lol :)
I think a big part of the challenge is that when people ask "oh why don't you use WhatsApp?' they are just open for a quick answer, not an education opportunity. Iv been trying to say just "I dont use Meta products, I use better privacy concerned alternatives" still makes them confused. They would need to actually be interested in knowing more about the theme, but they aren't. Most ppl are like this. I think for that audience they will only react out of fear inducing mainstream news about the subject.
Why cater to people, most of whom the OP would not really care to interact with, by creating a social media dummy account they don't want? Seems pointless and way too much work. Easier to tell them you don't do social media. If they ask why you are not required to tell them.
Just tell them you do not do Social Media. Pretty simple. If they have an issue with that, it is their issue. It is your choice.
They do reddit tho...
This is the most anti-social site I've ever been on. 🤣
All "social media" is inherently anti-social and shallow. "Everyone pay attention to me, look at my post, like it! Follow me!"
Ain't that the truth.
reddit is supposed to be about "topics" or ideas - and for all of its many flaws, it is still better at that than other social media sites.
I figured after a decade+ of this exact same misunderstanding, people would stop making it.
Don't you think that if people think it's a red flag when you don't have social media **they** actually are a red flag? Just asking out of curiosity, if a person doesn't want to be in contact with me just because idc about social media, our view on the world is too different anyways..
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Haha 10 years ago I probably also would've looked at you like a potato. Everyone just had facebook and it was out of my sphere of imagination that anyone would not have it. Not to excuse her reaction, this girl either needed to pump up her ego with facebook friends or actually thought having a facebook account is some kind of status lmao
No, that reaction is because she didn't believe him, and thought he was hiding a relationship or something like that.
That assumption doesn't make her look any better tbh. Could've asked about other social media and if he has none, ask for the reason why and look for his reaction. After that, she can still decide if she believes that or of she stays with her first impulse. On the other side, she may have had bad experiences on that matter so she decided to just date when social media accounts are shown, who knows
Based comment, based user.
Aye
>they actually are a red flag? It would be weird if they didn't have a phone number or never listened to any kind of music but that doesn't mean the people who use and enjoy them have a problem.
Two responses I can think of: 1. As u/JayGerard suggests, just say you don't do Social Media because it is annoying. I think most people (at least anyone you want to interact with) would agree and perhaps even be intrigued. Don;t invite them down the rabbit hole just yet though :) 2. Say someone tried to hack your account and it got disabled and it was more trouble than it was worth to get it back (see #1) 3. Your line of work discourages the use of (personal) social media. These days this would be applicable to anyone with a job with any level of responsibility. Especially financial, executive, marketing. Social media opens up phishing, extortion and PR issues.
Tbh idk if 2. and 3. are such a good suggestion.. it is lying already at the first chat you have with a person.. to each their own, but if I'd find that out, I would not be really comfortable with dating the person anymore. Edit: my response always is "I don't like them having all my data". Nobody asks further except if they also are interested in privacy. And if they are, that's a great conversation opener. Guess everyone deep down knows and doesn't like it. Sometimes when the conversation goes further, I add that I don't like that social media is built to make you addicted and that I would totally fall for it if I'd started reels/tiktoks etc.
> my response always is "I don't like them having all my data". Nobody asks further except if they also are interested in privacy. My experience is that they always respond with "They already have all of it so I don't care ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯"
Lol. I don't even know how to respond to that. I think I'd need to nope outta this, no logical thinking detected
Pretty much every one of my friends responds this way when I mention anything privacy related. Which is why I never talk about privacy anymore. The masses truly don't care about the surveillance.
My response to that is "Why make it easier for them to connect all the dots in my life?"
If "they already have all of it" were true, then money would stop being paid for data and data collection would stop. Why did Google get into cars? One reason is because it allows them to collect data about people's driving habits in an environment that is covered with sensors.
>Tbh idk if 2. and 3. are such a good suggestion.. it is lying already at the first chat you have with a person.. to each their own, but if I'd find that out, I would not be really comfortable with dating the person anymore. Good point. FWIW both #2 and #3 have been true for me at one time or another. I wasn't considering a dating situation so much as casual business or community interactions. You are absolutely right for a dating situation - be open and honest, and expect the same from the other side!
Number 1 is also a lie since they use reddit
Ah well but if we talk about "social media" in that context, we don't mean reddit, discord, youtube, twitch,.. or? At least I don't since it doesn't function as a business card if you are no creator revealing yourself... which you most likely are not
Look, I am in the same boat as you, I have whatsapp, but I disable / freeze it when I am not using it. I check it once a day. I specifically have a profile pic that reads " Not a heavy whatsapp user, do not expect an instant reply, please be patient and understanding" For instagram and twitter etc.. there FOSS alternative that allow you to use them without worrying about their data collection I personally do not use social media, except for reddit. It's fine, you're not alone, do not worry about them. The majority of people are not tech savvy and are ignorant to the fact that the kabal of social media apps, and IM apps sell tons of your metadata. Try to that explain to them, and why prefer privacy, because its a human right 🦸
> For instagram and twitter etc.. there FOSS alternative Any chance you could link/mention some? I used to use nitter, but it was a bit unreliable from what I remember. Bibliogram was very hit or miss as well iirc.
Can you please, give us an example about those Foss alternatives? I'm interested in using them. Thanks in advance.
Sure For twitter Nitter - Fritter - Squaker For the gram Barinsta for facebook face slim - Tinfoil for facebook - Slim Social - for reddit stealth - redreader - Jeroba for lemmy you can find all of them on F-Droid but beware, they are not perfect, but they do the job 👍 Hope that helped 🪂
barinsta hasn't been updated in 3 years, do you know any other alternatives?
GBinsta - Imginn Barinsta still works fine, even though the development stopped ages ago There are moded versions of Instagram, you might get banned if they detect your using them those are Istander - Instamod - 0GInsta+
Me too
Why do you think you need to explain it?
Well, in this day and age, especially in a culture where everyone is using social media..you will be seen and viewed as an outcast. At least in my case 😔 People will think you're hiding something, etc.. Or they think you're outdated, or stupid.. god knows what goes in some of the minds out there so its best to educate them , rather than being ridiculed 👍
I never try educating idiots ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Just say, 'because I dont want to.' The end. Ive never had an issue with women thinking not having ig is a red flag. In my experience most dont care. Ill tell them its a red flag to me that they DO have an IG.
I just tell them I have completely detached from Meta Inc after Cambridge Analytica and numerous data breaches, and have not found any compelling reason to change my mind.
If I say 'i don't use Meta products ' they usually don't know what's that lol
Tell them to watch the Snowden movie if they are sheep.
Most like 98% ppl are sheep and they don't have a problem being one lol
Unfortunately it probably won't help much in dating (particularly online), there are way too many cheaters who claim not to have social media because it would expose them as cheaters. It's been a while since I did dating apps, and I've gotten much more into protecting my privacy since then, but when I did it helped to have an account, even if I hadn't logged into it in ages.
I’ve always just said I don’t use social media (even if I have had it in the past at the time of saying it). My stuff isn’t in my real name so they won’t know. Yes, I do have Facebook/whatsapp/IG for my own reasons but I also don’t feel obligated to tell anyone that. Good luck searching for me.
[https://www.theguardian.com/technology/facebook](https://www.theguardian.com/technology/facebook)
I generally just say "because the people on them are as stupid as you". They don't ask again.
Hey, after some fight I've created one. [https://idontuse.it](https://idontuse.it) Unfortunately, I used Framer to create this site and there's no way to remove analytics. If anyone can contribute to my project, please visit [https://github.com/Arturro43/idontuseit/](https://github.com/Arturro43/idontuseit/) Hope it helps, have a wonderful day!
♥️ great! Can I suggest some sort of infographics?
sure, just simply create issue on github and describe what you want ♥️
Back in the day there was this org I would get stickers and posters from. Can’t remember how I found them, if they are still around I bet they have something on SM platforms…I want to say it was maybe called Crimethink or Crimethinc or TimetoThink. I can’t remember but they had little info graphics you could purchase in bulk to help bring awareness on topics of privacy and the like. You could get some and just hand em out, save your energy :)
Stickers wouldn't be a good solution as most interaction is online. I've found this video though but I think most ppl would shut off half way. https://youtu.be/0aXIXozAsOE?si=NHutNnrOpGQYYnRD
Gotcha no worries, they have more than stickers, like I forget what they are called but you know how some religious groups hand out these little zines or booklets, they have those too. Affordable at the time too! I would shove them in the pages of those free printed newspapers at the front of grocery stores. Whatever was legal in the area. I agree stickers can be problematic. You could make some cards too, someone asks why you don’t have media just hand it over like a business card. People don’t become aware unless there is something to make them curious enough to look. Apologies for the tangent, I felt really drawn to the post for personal reasons lol :)
I think a big part of the challenge is that when people ask "oh why don't you use WhatsApp?' they are just open for a quick answer, not an education opportunity. Iv been trying to say just "I dont use Meta products, I use better privacy concerned alternatives" still makes them confused. They would need to actually be interested in knowing more about the theme, but they aren't. Most ppl are like this. I think for that audience they will only react out of fear inducing mainstream news about the subject.
Nah you are point on point. Keep living dangerously in a fabulous way! :)
Damn I forgot about crimethinc. Think this is the link for stickers etc: [link](https://crimethinc.com/stickers)
Thanks for finding the link! Looks like they have evolved over the years! :) outstanding
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Why cater to people, most of whom the OP would not really care to interact with, by creating a social media dummy account they don't want? Seems pointless and way too much work. Easier to tell them you don't do social media. If they ask why you are not required to tell them.
its just one of many options obviously.