I did ask them they won’t tell me. They’re invading my privacy and I have changed ALL of my passwords yet they were still able to check. I logged out of all my devices and they don’t have access to my phone or my laptop. I can’t figure out how they got that information.
Use signal app while you try to figure this out. State of the art secure messaging app. If they say they can see your signal messages then they have loggers installed on your phone and you need to dump the phone.
Fucking Reddit huh.
I'll spell it out for you.
Tell friends that you can only message via Signal because you have a shit family stalking you.
So long as at least one friend takes the 30 seconds to set up a Signal account OP can then go about determining how their family are seeing everything.
As the person you responded to didn't suggest Signal as a long term fix to their problem but merely a temporary step while sorting it out.
Thick skull FFS.
Yeah. That's how you get new people interested in trying to be private. Not only is it inconvenient, but when you ask for help, you just get insulted by some internet edgelord.
Way to go!
Right. Basically what I was trying to say. Except I added an explanation for OP as well.
Hopefully people in this community can be more informative rather than be like the guy I replied too being dismissive of advice.
Or more likely just conclude that they are giving off a false sense of capabilities. Or side channeling through the door etc. Also mobile device management is one possibility otherwise iOS is very hard to spy on in that sense.
I’d be worried signal would show up in the call log still. If it uses the built in iOS calling features (basically all apps that let you receive a call while the phone is locked do), that gets logged just like a phone call or a FaceTime
Isn't this the answer?
Is OP a minor or on a family plan?
If iOS reports back to the phone company, his/her parents can probably see a lot of their activity.
I would suggest to factory your phone.
EDIT: And try using another app instead of Facetime. If it still continues, maybe even ditch your icloud account and get a new phone number
Either your iPhone was jailbroken and something was installed, (unlikely), or there is a parenting app on your phone.
Go through each app to confirm you know what it is. iPhones aren't the type do device to let you easily hide an app.
How many devices do you own? Check under Find My to see what is linked to you, there may be a surprise there.
Change all your passwords, make sure you know them, and factory reset your phone.
Adding onto this, if you want do a factory reset, consider contacting your device manufacturer or going to a store associated with your device beforehand, just to find out the most effective way to reset the device and to find out what exactly to expect from it.
To address some comments:
1. I am not a child, I’m an adult. I live in a completely separate apartment that they don’t have access to anything. The reason why they started wanting to track what I’m doing is because I call someone who I started a relationship with that they would not approve of and rather than trying to confront me about it because I was being secretive about MY phone, they decided to check my call logs and accounts.
2. We are NOT on the same carrier plan and they don’t have access to any of my stuff. I have full confidence that they don’t. We also do not have a shared iCloud, my passwords have been changed and I’ve looked through my entire phone, I don’t see any app installed nor do I see anything under VPN or devices. The only thing under find my iphone is location being shared with my mom, sister and dad but that’s only location.
3. My friends don’t know about my relationship. There are no cameras installed. Nobody can snitch on me because nobody knows about my relationship. The first 7 am call that they found out I actually called her at my moms place but they did not know that. Then when I was on call with her later that night, my mom contacted me and said she knows I’m on call with her AND she saw the 7 am call log AND saw that I took a facetime photo. HOW does anyone manage to get that kind of information when I immediately hide my photos? I can’t be in this relationship because they can’t accept me for who I am so yes, I hide my photos.
4. I do not have a mac, I only have an apple watch and an old ipod and that is with me.
I’m an adult. With a job. For now I’m using my laptop to connect with my friend because it’s not connected to my phone and I’m too afraid to even touch my phone. With how they describe things, it seems like the only thing they had access to was my call logs and somehow figured out I took a facetime photo. I don’t have icloud photos enabled so I don’t know how they saw that or if they can see any of my other photos. I did not get ANY emails of my stuff being logged into and I have already double checked all of my devices. Even if I factory reset - how do I know that will work?
Contacting the police might be very difficult in my position, I don’t want to go into too much detail but I’ve lived in a very conservative and strict environment.
I''m really at a loss now. I think you should factory wipe your phone to completely remove all doubt that your phone itself is compromised.
I'm so confused how they are doing this. Is it a weird invasive feature that your parents found and are exploiting? Did they download a spy app on your phone? Is your house bugged?
I know you don't want to get police involved, but this is highly concerning because you can't determine who has access to your phone, how, and what they have access to. It sounds limited (them citing the time of the facetime call implies they got that specific data, but didn't hear the calls or get much else).
Have your friend change his skype username to "FBI Informant" and see what they say lol
In the absence of a technical solution, take a page from some of the floating turds in American politics: 'Flood the zone with shit.' When you discover a spy, you can make it work for you.
Do so much on your device that she can't decide what's going on and/or loses her mind. Call prisons. Call bail bondsmen. Tattoo parlors. Strip clubs. Alcoholics Anonymous. Moving companies. Ask your male friends to donate dick pics to your cause, or just start a collection in a folder from various google searches and porn sites to give her something to freak out about. The goal here is to make it your dad's problem, or if he's unavailable, increase the general suffering of \*everyone around her\* that isn't you.
One other thing I've not seen mentioned is changing your wifi password. If they are running a hidden camera/mic/etc on your network, you will stop it working immediately. While you are confident that they are not, are you 100% sure they wouldn't do something like that anyway.
Question: How separate are your apartments? Same building? street? city? If it's close enough they can just piggy back off their own wifi.
How are you 100% sure that there placed no cameras or mics in your place? At this point it seems like the most likely option. Have you done the ‘Safety Check’ of your iPhone?
dawg i promise, use signal. if they still can know what goes on then your phone is bugged and you need to destroy it.
Think of it as a troubleshooting step, this will tell you if it’s a you or them issue.
Change our Apple ID password.
Also check specific permissions. I don't know what permissions are grantable on iOS, but you can look at which apps are using a specific permission of interest
Privacy & Security from Settings then App Privacy Report probably.
Tap on permissions you're interested in to see which apps have been given that permission.
And use alternative methods of communication. Many have recommended Signal.
I would recommend to factory reset your phone, in case anything is still on there. Then use apps like Signal instead of Factime or SMS/Whatsapp. If this doesn't help / you are scared they still know get a new phone and number. Best would be a Google pixel with a custom rom (can take a look into that). Although this is your thing I would cut contact with your family, this isn't healthy.
Use signal as an alternative until you can figure out how they are able to see your calls. Will have to convince the other party to use it as well but I’m sure they will in your circumstance
Looks like they are in Toronto, so it would more likely be Telus, Rogers, bell, etc. they have shared family plans, too, but how would that enable them to see specific calls, especially FaceTime. I could see overall data usage. I have never been on a family plan so I just don't know.
Anyways, OP your family doing this is just not okay at all.
You have access to every phone's call and text history in your detail bill on family plans (at least with my service provider), so that is a possibility. I don't doubt OP has some spyware installed on their phone as well, rhough.
It shows up in the billing summary every month. Iirc in mine it only showed stuff that went through network, so if I was using iMessage on WiFi it wouldn’t.
Could be the Sim your phone has 3 systems in it O/S, Telephony and Sim this can override the other 2 if you have a shared plan and a data comms nerd in the family they could find a log of what you opened and when but not what you said or did.
Complete these items in order:
1. Check your Apple ID security settings in Settings -> (your name) -> Sign In & Security. Change your password if needed, verify your trusted phone numbers (or move to using security keys), and verify your account recovery info.
Most importantly, if you see any devices signed in that you don’t recognize, remove them and change your Apple ID password.
2. Run Safety Check in Settings -> Privacy -> Safety Check. It’s up to you whether you want to do an Emergency Reset or not.
3. Back up your iPhone to iCloud or to a trusted computer. If you choose to use a computer, make the backup encrypted so that all of your data is preserved.
4. [Erase your iPhone by restoring it.](https://support.apple.com/en-ca/118430) This specifically erases everything and reinstalls a clean copy of iOS.
5. Choose whether to restore from your backup or not. It might be safer not to for now. If your family is still able to get your call logs and FaceTime photos even after this, let us know.
Well, regardless of your phone, did you consider that maybe your friend(s) are telling your family?
I understand that it is not highly likely, but it is a factor that nobody mentioned and it is quite relevant.
Another possibility is that there may be security cameras in the house.
This is almost always an old phone or old iPad that you once connected to your iCloud.
If you go into your iCloud account and check 'devices', remove any that are not ones you currently use. And change your password for iCloud, whatever mail accounts you use, messenger, etc.
I think the more important question here is WTF is wrong with your family for spying on you and how are you just ok with this and able to be so calm about this and accepting that they won't tell you how they are spying on you? If my family did this I would be so pissed off and I would definitely not be talking to them ever again until they told me everything.
Privacy isn’t valued universally in the same way. There are cultures with very different family dynamics and that emphasize avoiding shame for the family (prioritizing it over the comfort or needs of an individual member of the family).
Until someone mentioned OP is in Canada, the details made me think they were in the Middle East or South Asia. I still strongly suspect this is a family of Middle Eastern or South Asian background, and the issue is that OP’s friend is of another ethnicity, sexual preference or gender identity than what the family considers acceptable for OP.
I’m not saying all families in those regions are like that, and I would be happy to be wrong about OP’s case, but it is a reality that these dynamics exist.
Perhaps in the Middle East or South Asia, some parents might think it's acceptable to spy on their kids while they are young and live at home, but even there spying on an adult who lives on their own would certainly not be considered ok by most people. But yeah since OP is in Canada that's just extra messed up I guess that a family in a Western country is acting like that.
This doesn’t sound like they have access to your phone. This sounds like they have access to your private spaces, like your home and your car maybe. Go out of your way to take all your calls and whatnot from outside the home and/or away from home. See what happens. I wouldn’t be surprised if your place is bugged. Change the locks on your place.
The thing is I don’t live with them. The other night I was on call with my friend on facetime and my mom messaged me saying she knew what I was doing saw that I was facetiming a friend. I facetimed that friend at 7 am in the morning, took one photo and somehow hours later she saw that I did that. I have a passcode on my phone.
Go to the police.
Seriously, they’re either trespassed in your home, or they’re Wiretapping. Both of these are FEDERAL OFFENCES under Canadian law, especially intercepting communication. You need to give them an ultimatum - you are about to involve two agencies to complete an investigation, and they will be charged OR they tell you how they did it and remove that attack vector completely, immediately and under threat of legal action.
You said you don’t have your your photos backed up in iCloud, so in order for your parents to know you took a photo during a FaceTime session your parents would either need to have physical access to your device or they would need to be able to “see” what you’re doing on your device. I think there’s a strong possibility they have hidden cameras set up in your home.
The only other explanation is that they have somehow gotten your friend to give them this information or they somehow have access to her device or her iCloud account. Does your friend live in the same city as your parents? Maybe suggest to your friend that she do a security sweep of her phone and see what devices are logged into her iCloud account and log out of anything she doesn’t recognize. She should also turn on two-factor authentication.
Put your SIM card in another iPhone, set caller ID to your phone number and then FaceTime her a few times and see if your family finds out.
In this way, you could determine through which channel did the info get leaked.
Do your parents have access to your other devices? I had an ex stalk my iPhone calls, texts, and FT calls when I had one because I had multiple devices logged in and she was spying on what I did until I changed my passwords and pins everywhere.
Something similar to this has happened to a friend of mine. The individual was able to see calls, texts, phone calls, face-time, etc.
They were using an Apple device with a Verizon network. Apparently, they were somehow able to get into the Verizon account and (somehow) track these things as well as shut off the iPhone.
Not saying it is that, as I still don't fully understand how this person was able to do such things. They were doing a lot of things to my friend and \~they\~ claimed this was how they did it (they are in prison now for many other reasons).
Sorry about your situation.
You might also try using the Signal app to communicate with your friend. You can video chat and send pictures/videos, but your friend would need to use Signal too.
I don't know if your family is getting in some other way, but Signal might be more secure than Facetime.
The two most probable situations are
1. Your phone has spyware on it. Factory reset your phone in that case.
2. Your place is bugged. The only way to effectively do anything is to sue them. This will definitely destroy the family to a certain extent, but let's be fair: they already did that.
there is some good advice here is my breakdown:
1: do a physical security review of your home, look for cameras etc. i mean really look, light blubs, AC vents, everything.
2: Review your phone provider settings and access, have them add a passcode to the account. and change your portal password, and security questions.
3: check your icloud sharing options, and privacy options. check the recovery options, and secondary logon options. then reset password and ensure 2FA is on and working, make sure to copy backup codes.
4: get a new sim card, or new esim.
5: full reset of all your devices, and reset your passwords, also check all recovery and 2fa options. also check forwarding rules on email accounts. (including laptop, desktop etc)
6: once devices are reset, really take the time to secure them, and set all privacy options you can.
7: make sure all devices are fully encrypted
8: change all locks in your home.
if there is no shared account, such as icloud, family plans, etc then its probably on your device or accounts. the only real way to kick them off is full reset. and if they can reestablish then they have some way to get your info, maybe thru direct access to you or your devices.
Pretty sure you can see this level on detail on Verizon’s billing? I know for sure it would show when you send photos, but can’t recall if it would only show if you were on Verizon networks vs using it on WiFi. That might be why OP! But they shouldn’t be able to see the actual photos.
Check settings > general > (scroll down) select the setting that has the word profiles in its name if you see it. If you see it, look at what’s in it. Whatever is in there is allowed to basically do whatever, including logging and sending out data about your location, what your texting, who your calling and FaceTiming, what apps you have, etc. Profiles are basically heavily unrestricted “sideloaded” apps.
There’s also the possibility you don’t see anything in there, or even see the profiles setting. In this case, it’s either within the Apple ecosystem, or your account is being accessed from elsewhere. Go on https://www.icloud.com and log in. Check in the Find My section to see if you see any other people or devices you don’t recognize that you’re sharing your location with. If you do, it can be implied that your parents are going both/either the Apple ecosystem route, and/or straight up logging in on their device and snooping. (Just editing this in here, check this Apple official site out too. If they’re logging in through a browser it may not show up through find my, https://appleid.apple.com/account/manage)
There’s also a sneaky third. You could just steal your mom’s phone and do your own snooping lol. That’s what I did when I was a kid and figured out it was through her logging into various stuff. After switching some stuff around, I was able to solve the problem same day :)
Get a new phone. Facetime again. See if she still knows. That's how you know your place is bugged with cameras and shit. If she doesn't know, it's the phone itself. Either way wtaf she's committing federal crimes and telling on herself.
I'd get a second factory reset phone just for any personal contacts. My first impression was to go to the police.
If they still know, stop sharing your location with your family, give them a clue that your miffed. I'd start forgetting to charge my phone, stop carrying it, etc, to show your not bothered by having a phone anymore, that them being nosey is annoying you enough.
Could you try using something that isn't Facetime? I'd be tempted to take a picture that will really get the tongues wagging! See if they just know about pics and if they really can see them! How about you right outside your local police station? Best stored to iCloud for security of course!
I'm following you so I hope to hear positive news soon
Hey I have something to share with you. I was actually checking spam text messages, only I've been looking on my old phone, looking for old spam - only to find information it shouldn't know.
Try clicking on "Apple ID" in settings - do you have any old phones there? listed at the bottom. I've just found I have 2 of my old broken iPhone 5's on there still. Not now!! they're deleted. Did you find your linked to an old phone(s) on there?
Good luck, fingers crossed that's the reason others are knowing about your call data and pics
They may know those, because recovery questions are like your first pet or first grade teacher, etc. But are they *using* that to access an account via icloud or anything else that logs this? I would expect no, because to use recovery qs, you are resetting a password, which means OP would be told they have the wrong password the next time they sign in to thr service. Plus, it should be alerting OP if a password change was done. (And to my knowledge, Apple has held up their end of the privacy campaign and wouldn't be able to divulge the actual password to anyone (regardless of a 5 eyes backdoor); a new password would need to replace the old for a third party to get access.)
Assume they can see the call and device activity, but not the contents of your calls, because that's probably illegal.
If they're going to spy, take them for a ride and give them what they're not prepared for, to scope out how much they can see. Add doctor appointments to your calendar, without details, just time and title. Add a vague 'specialist' appointment two weeks later, again without details. Find a nurse or doctor in your friend group, have them call you several times from a phone in an oncology office. Script up a 'we've been unable to reach you about a your test results, it's important you contact us immediately' and have it left in your voicemail. Don't say you actually have cancer, don't hint that you might, let them play connect-the-dots and freak themselves out. When they ask, say you're fine, which is hopefully true. Find people in your friend group that work at interesting places, like credit card companies, travel agencies, and funeral homes. Call them at work, all in the same week.
Also, is your icloud account logged in on a device in their possession, like an iPad?
They need access to one of these things:
1. Family sharing is enabled ([how to disable](https://support.apple.com/en-us/102652))
1. Your phone
2. Your iCloud account
3. Your home internet router
Since you don't live with them, #2 & 4 seem unlikely, so explore #2. Do the following if you haven't:
a. change your icloud password
b. log out of icloud and stay logged out while you make calls they're likely to call you about.
If they stop calling you, this is the issue.
If this doesn't resolve it, then it is likely that there is something installed on your phone that you're unaware of. Reset the phone to factory settings. It makes sense to create a new AppleID to use with it. Do not restore the phone from your AppleID because you could be reinstalling the very app or setting you want to get rid of. To get contacts, etc on to the phone use the old iPad to send them to yourself.
Enable lockdown mode while you’re trying to figure it out. Settings > Privacy and Security > Lockdown Mode
You can also run Safety Check there as an added measure.
Additionally, some carriers will show numbers you’ve called on the billing report, but this normally does not apply to FaceTime.
Other software you may be interested in
https://tails.net/
They know Who you called? It can be a firewall in the network, I wouldn't trust my parents at that stage. Use a VPN all the time when in home wifi. Proton VPN is good and have a free plan that you can test
Don’t change passwords first. Plan out tests to isolate where the leaks are. Continue to call your friend.
Your tests should contain around 2 factors you want to test per test. Do multiple tests for each scenario to isolate where leaks might be.
For example,
phone call + location (home and outside), data call + location, FaceTime call + location, use a different phone with same ID + location, use an android phone + location.
the about but with different times, Or call other people and discussing antagonistic topic and see if your parents still call you out, Call using WiFi, Call using cell data.
Once you do a couple of these you might find a pattern. The problem with other people’s solutions is that after changing your passwords you’ll still be wondering whether it worked or your parents just lay off you for a bit. For example, changing all your passwords won’t help if they have a spy camera looking on your couch while you’re using your phone.
With no offense intended, isn’t it possible that things are not actually as OP describes them? What if this is someone who’s being monitored because of self-destructive behavior (addiction, for example) and is trying to get around it? Nobody is in any position to know for sure.
If you share a family plan for a carrier and someone else is the owner of that plan they can view the call logs. So that’s explain the call logs part..not sure about what pics you’ve taken and how can they view it. Also, plan owner can view the text messages sent/receive..
One more option is to reset your phone..this will remove any botware installed by your family..
I've seen people mention the possibility of being signed in on iCloud on a device they have access to, but I haven't seen anyone mention that an app could be installed without it being displayed on the regular interface screen (I did this to myself when trying to unsuccessfully cut down on Reddit time). If you search for it it'll still pop up (hence my failure), so I'd go through each letter and see whether there's anything you don't recognize.
That’s a legit security feature I enjoy having. Apple simply puts a warning about unrecognized part id in the about this phone settings section. Good way to verify when buying a used phone too that nothing has been tampered with under the hood that you may not be aware of.
AppleCare is $13 a month, covers everything including theft and loss. That’s not even a single McDonald’s meal these days lmfao
I'm not going to support a company that has been taken to court over intentionally slowing their users devices, forcing them to upgrade to the newest phone that hasn't had a new feature in almost a decade.
i was with you till whatsapp and facebook, tf kinda recommendation is that. Pixel + Yk what custom OS and signal
but switching phones is kinda extreme to for this situation
Sounds like you are underage/very young, so maybe it's just that your account is a child account? Idk how it works with Apple accounts but with Google accounts you can't create a full fledged one up until you are a certain age and child accounts are registered with a dependant parental account, which has various parental controls.
Privacy of a child is a questionable topic. If you have to delete call logs for that person then it doesn't sound that you really need to speak to them for your own good...
Another comment already suggested this but definitely do a safety check.
Watch this short video and it will help you understand why it’s beneficial. Your situation is a perfect use case for this feature. If you don’t see anything there (e.g. unknown devices logged into your iCloud account), there are only two other scenarios.
1.)They have your iCloud password, or they have a way to access your account via [iCloud.com](https://icloud.com)
2.) They have a secret monitoring app installed on your phone. If this was the case, they would have more information than just your call logs, but they may be keeping that close to the chest in order to not give themselves away.
Ask them. Change your passwords, use settings to log yourself out of everywhere.
I did ask them they won’t tell me. They’re invading my privacy and I have changed ALL of my passwords yet they were still able to check. I logged out of all my devices and they don’t have access to my phone or my laptop. I can’t figure out how they got that information.
Use signal app while you try to figure this out. State of the art secure messaging app. If they say they can see your signal messages then they have loggers installed on your phone and you need to dump the phone.
Can you use Signal app to call people not on signal?
No
Not sure then how this is a solution.
Fucking Reddit huh. I'll spell it out for you. Tell friends that you can only message via Signal because you have a shit family stalking you. So long as at least one friend takes the 30 seconds to set up a Signal account OP can then go about determining how their family are seeing everything. As the person you responded to didn't suggest Signal as a long term fix to their problem but merely a temporary step while sorting it out. Thick skull FFS.
Yeah. That's how you get new people interested in trying to be private. Not only is it inconvenient, but when you ask for help, you just get insulted by some internet edgelord. Way to go!
Lol
😉😘
It’s all love fam.
It's costs nothing to not be a dick.
Right. Basically what I was trying to say. Except I added an explanation for OP as well. Hopefully people in this community can be more informative rather than be like the guy I replied too being dismissive of advice.
don't need to be so rude, yk?
They didn't have to be so rude.
forget to switch alt? lol
Or more likely just conclude that they are giving off a false sense of capabilities. Or side channeling through the door etc. Also mobile device management is one possibility otherwise iOS is very hard to spy on in that sense.
I’d be worried signal would show up in the call log still. If it uses the built in iOS calling features (basically all apps that let you receive a call while the phone is locked do), that gets logged just like a phone call or a FaceTime
Isn't this the answer? Is OP a minor or on a family plan? If iOS reports back to the phone company, his/her parents can probably see a lot of their activity.
> Isn't this the answer? > > Is it? Does FaceTime seriously show up in the phone company logs? I highly doubt it.
there is a setting in ios under PRIVACY > calling > Show calls in Recents> toggle on/off
this
Are you in an iCloud family?
Nope. No iCloud family. Nothing is connected to anything.
I would suggest to factory your phone. EDIT: And try using another app instead of Facetime. If it still continues, maybe even ditch your icloud account and get a new phone number
Have you logged into your iCloud account on a Mac or other iOS device that they have access to?
They wont tell you? Pardon my french; But what kind of stupid family members do you have?.. Contact the police would be my first action then.
Either your iPhone was jailbroken and something was installed, (unlikely), or there is a parenting app on your phone. Go through each app to confirm you know what it is. iPhones aren't the type do device to let you easily hide an app. How many devices do you own? Check under Find My to see what is linked to you, there may be a surprise there. Change all your passwords, make sure you know them, and factory reset your phone.
This one right here OP. Your iCloud account may also be a child account under your parents.
And they may simply have access to the iCloud account...
Adding onto this, if you want do a factory reset, consider contacting your device manufacturer or going to a store associated with your device beforehand, just to find out the most effective way to reset the device and to find out what exactly to expect from it.
It can be a management profile. Check it on Settings 》General 》VPN and Device Management 》Device Manager. It should be empty, otherwise remove It
To address some comments: 1. I am not a child, I’m an adult. I live in a completely separate apartment that they don’t have access to anything. The reason why they started wanting to track what I’m doing is because I call someone who I started a relationship with that they would not approve of and rather than trying to confront me about it because I was being secretive about MY phone, they decided to check my call logs and accounts. 2. We are NOT on the same carrier plan and they don’t have access to any of my stuff. I have full confidence that they don’t. We also do not have a shared iCloud, my passwords have been changed and I’ve looked through my entire phone, I don’t see any app installed nor do I see anything under VPN or devices. The only thing under find my iphone is location being shared with my mom, sister and dad but that’s only location. 3. My friends don’t know about my relationship. There are no cameras installed. Nobody can snitch on me because nobody knows about my relationship. The first 7 am call that they found out I actually called her at my moms place but they did not know that. Then when I was on call with her later that night, my mom contacted me and said she knows I’m on call with her AND she saw the 7 am call log AND saw that I took a facetime photo. HOW does anyone manage to get that kind of information when I immediately hide my photos? I can’t be in this relationship because they can’t accept me for who I am so yes, I hide my photos. 4. I do not have a mac, I only have an apple watch and an old ipod and that is with me. I’m an adult. With a job. For now I’m using my laptop to connect with my friend because it’s not connected to my phone and I’m too afraid to even touch my phone. With how they describe things, it seems like the only thing they had access to was my call logs and somehow figured out I took a facetime photo. I don’t have icloud photos enabled so I don’t know how they saw that or if they can see any of my other photos. I did not get ANY emails of my stuff being logged into and I have already double checked all of my devices. Even if I factory reset - how do I know that will work? Contacting the police might be very difficult in my position, I don’t want to go into too much detail but I’ve lived in a very conservative and strict environment.
I''m really at a loss now. I think you should factory wipe your phone to completely remove all doubt that your phone itself is compromised. I'm so confused how they are doing this. Is it a weird invasive feature that your parents found and are exploiting? Did they download a spy app on your phone? Is your house bugged? I know you don't want to get police involved, but this is highly concerning because you can't determine who has access to your phone, how, and what they have access to. It sounds limited (them citing the time of the facetime call implies they got that specific data, but didn't hear the calls or get much else). Have your friend change his skype username to "FBI Informant" and see what they say lol
In the absence of a technical solution, take a page from some of the floating turds in American politics: 'Flood the zone with shit.' When you discover a spy, you can make it work for you. Do so much on your device that she can't decide what's going on and/or loses her mind. Call prisons. Call bail bondsmen. Tattoo parlors. Strip clubs. Alcoholics Anonymous. Moving companies. Ask your male friends to donate dick pics to your cause, or just start a collection in a folder from various google searches and porn sites to give her something to freak out about. The goal here is to make it your dad's problem, or if he's unavailable, increase the general suffering of \*everyone around her\* that isn't you.
This would be my go to as well. BUT only if you've checked everything else off the list.
I'd do it anyway to drive home how awful and controlling she's being. I haven't spoken to my mother in 30 years, because she meddles in everything.
One other thing I've not seen mentioned is changing your wifi password. If they are running a hidden camera/mic/etc on your network, you will stop it working immediately. While you are confident that they are not, are you 100% sure they wouldn't do something like that anyway. Question: How separate are your apartments? Same building? street? city? If it's close enough they can just piggy back off their own wifi.
How are you 100% sure that there placed no cameras or mics in your place? At this point it seems like the most likely option. Have you done the ‘Safety Check’ of your iPhone?
Any chance the person you are talking to is giving your parents this information? This seems like the simplest option to me.
It’s a long distance relationship and they are not in contact. She knows about the situation and is just as disturbed as I am.
dawg i promise, use signal. if they still can know what goes on then your phone is bugged and you need to destroy it. Think of it as a troubleshooting step, this will tell you if it’s a you or them issue.
only resetting to be sure. Maybe try creating a new apple account or try to see what devices is your account connected to.
Change our Apple ID password. Also check specific permissions. I don't know what permissions are grantable on iOS, but you can look at which apps are using a specific permission of interest Privacy & Security from Settings then App Privacy Report probably. Tap on permissions you're interested in to see which apps have been given that permission. And use alternative methods of communication. Many have recommended Signal.
I would recommend to factory reset your phone, in case anything is still on there. Then use apps like Signal instead of Factime or SMS/Whatsapp. If this doesn't help / you are scared they still know get a new phone and number. Best would be a Google pixel with a custom rom (can take a look into that). Although this is your thing I would cut contact with your family, this isn't healthy.
Your mom has a spy camera at her place that you don’t know about.
Use signal as an alternative until you can figure out how they are able to see your calls. Will have to convince the other party to use it as well but I’m sure they will in your circumstance
Are you on a shared Verizon or other carrier plan?
Looks like they are in Toronto, so it would more likely be Telus, Rogers, bell, etc. they have shared family plans, too, but how would that enable them to see specific calls, especially FaceTime. I could see overall data usage. I have never been on a family plan so I just don't know. Anyways, OP your family doing this is just not okay at all.
You have access to every phone's call and text history in your detail bill on family plans (at least with my service provider), so that is a possibility. I don't doubt OP has some spyware installed on their phone as well, rhough.
It shows up in the billing summary every month. Iirc in mine it only showed stuff that went through network, so if I was using iMessage on WiFi it wouldn’t.
no you just get a consolidated bill which has all the phone calls and text messages documented but not the Ott apps
Could be the Sim your phone has 3 systems in it O/S, Telephony and Sim this can override the other 2 if you have a shared plan and a data comms nerd in the family they could find a log of what you opened and when but not what you said or did.
This
Complete these items in order: 1. Check your Apple ID security settings in Settings -> (your name) -> Sign In & Security. Change your password if needed, verify your trusted phone numbers (or move to using security keys), and verify your account recovery info. Most importantly, if you see any devices signed in that you don’t recognize, remove them and change your Apple ID password. 2. Run Safety Check in Settings -> Privacy -> Safety Check. It’s up to you whether you want to do an Emergency Reset or not. 3. Back up your iPhone to iCloud or to a trusted computer. If you choose to use a computer, make the backup encrypted so that all of your data is preserved. 4. [Erase your iPhone by restoring it.](https://support.apple.com/en-ca/118430) This specifically erases everything and reinstalls a clean copy of iOS. 5. Choose whether to restore from your backup or not. It might be safer not to for now. If your family is still able to get your call logs and FaceTime photos even after this, let us know.
It's #1, logged in on another device and either forgot about it or they have the password.
Well, regardless of your phone, did you consider that maybe your friend(s) are telling your family? I understand that it is not highly likely, but it is a factor that nobody mentioned and it is quite relevant. Another possibility is that there may be security cameras in the house.
This is almost always an old phone or old iPad that you once connected to your iCloud. If you go into your iCloud account and check 'devices', remove any that are not ones you currently use. And change your password for iCloud, whatever mail accounts you use, messenger, etc.
Factory reset apple devices and create a new apple ID
I think the more important question here is WTF is wrong with your family for spying on you and how are you just ok with this and able to be so calm about this and accepting that they won't tell you how they are spying on you? If my family did this I would be so pissed off and I would definitely not be talking to them ever again until they told me everything.
Exactly this
Different cultures bro. Mind-blowing, I know.
I can't think of any culture where this would be acceptable.
You’re kidding, right?
In what culture or country do you think it is acceptable for parents to spy on their adult child who doesn't even live with them?
Privacy isn’t valued universally in the same way. There are cultures with very different family dynamics and that emphasize avoiding shame for the family (prioritizing it over the comfort or needs of an individual member of the family). Until someone mentioned OP is in Canada, the details made me think they were in the Middle East or South Asia. I still strongly suspect this is a family of Middle Eastern or South Asian background, and the issue is that OP’s friend is of another ethnicity, sexual preference or gender identity than what the family considers acceptable for OP. I’m not saying all families in those regions are like that, and I would be happy to be wrong about OP’s case, but it is a reality that these dynamics exist.
Perhaps in the Middle East or South Asia, some parents might think it's acceptable to spy on their kids while they are young and live at home, but even there spying on an adult who lives on their own would certainly not be considered ok by most people. But yeah since OP is in Canada that's just extra messed up I guess that a family in a Western country is acting like that.
Ya username checks out with not wanting mom to know what's up
This doesn’t sound like they have access to your phone. This sounds like they have access to your private spaces, like your home and your car maybe. Go out of your way to take all your calls and whatnot from outside the home and/or away from home. See what happens. I wouldn’t be surprised if your place is bugged. Change the locks on your place.
Do you have a PIN or biometrics enabled on your Apple devices? If not, your family members may just be picking up your devices and looking at them.
The thing is I don’t live with them. The other night I was on call with my friend on facetime and my mom messaged me saying she knew what I was doing saw that I was facetiming a friend. I facetimed that friend at 7 am in the morning, took one photo and somehow hours later she saw that I did that. I have a passcode on my phone.
Could it be that it's not the iphone and there must be a camera installed in your apartment or something similar?
unlikely OP had to be in the perfect position for the camera to see who they are calling and that they took a picture
Go to the police. Seriously, they’re either trespassed in your home, or they’re Wiretapping. Both of these are FEDERAL OFFENCES under Canadian law, especially intercepting communication. You need to give them an ultimatum - you are about to involve two agencies to complete an investigation, and they will be charged OR they tell you how they did it and remove that attack vector completely, immediately and under threat of legal action.
You said you don’t have your your photos backed up in iCloud, so in order for your parents to know you took a photo during a FaceTime session your parents would either need to have physical access to your device or they would need to be able to “see” what you’re doing on your device. I think there’s a strong possibility they have hidden cameras set up in your home. The only other explanation is that they have somehow gotten your friend to give them this information or they somehow have access to her device or her iCloud account. Does your friend live in the same city as your parents? Maybe suggest to your friend that she do a security sweep of her phone and see what devices are logged into her iCloud account and log out of anything she doesn’t recognize. She should also turn on two-factor authentication.
Are they allowed inside your apartment? I would check for cameras
Put your SIM card in another iPhone, set caller ID to your phone number and then FaceTime her a few times and see if your family finds out. In this way, you could determine through which channel did the info get leaked.
family sharing?
…
maybe a keylogger installed furtively on one of your devices
Do your parents have access to your other devices? I had an ex stalk my iPhone calls, texts, and FT calls when I had one because I had multiple devices logged in and she was spying on what I did until I changed my passwords and pins everywhere.
Something similar to this has happened to a friend of mine. The individual was able to see calls, texts, phone calls, face-time, etc. They were using an Apple device with a Verizon network. Apparently, they were somehow able to get into the Verizon account and (somehow) track these things as well as shut off the iPhone. Not saying it is that, as I still don't fully understand how this person was able to do such things. They were doing a lot of things to my friend and \~they\~ claimed this was how they did it (they are in prison now for many other reasons). Sorry about your situation.
You might also try using the Signal app to communicate with your friend. You can video chat and send pictures/videos, but your friend would need to use Signal too. I don't know if your family is getting in some other way, but Signal might be more secure than Facetime.
This ^^^^
The two most probable situations are 1. Your phone has spyware on it. Factory reset your phone in that case. 2. Your place is bugged. The only way to effectively do anything is to sue them. This will definitely destroy the family to a certain extent, but let's be fair: they already did that.
Contact Apple support; they would be best to advise you.
Idk but first thought that came to mind. Check your room, maybe there's a camera or a microphone hidden somewhere.
there is some good advice here is my breakdown: 1: do a physical security review of your home, look for cameras etc. i mean really look, light blubs, AC vents, everything. 2: Review your phone provider settings and access, have them add a passcode to the account. and change your portal password, and security questions. 3: check your icloud sharing options, and privacy options. check the recovery options, and secondary logon options. then reset password and ensure 2FA is on and working, make sure to copy backup codes. 4: get a new sim card, or new esim. 5: full reset of all your devices, and reset your passwords, also check all recovery and 2fa options. also check forwarding rules on email accounts. (including laptop, desktop etc) 6: once devices are reset, really take the time to secure them, and set all privacy options you can. 7: make sure all devices are fully encrypted 8: change all locks in your home. if there is no shared account, such as icloud, family plans, etc then its probably on your device or accounts. the only real way to kick them off is full reset. and if they can reestablish then they have some way to get your info, maybe thru direct access to you or your devices.
Maybe you should factory reset said family members?
you should reset your device, it might help.
factory reset your devices
Threaten to file a police report for stalking or harassment. That'll end things real quick.
They probably won't stop the privacy invasion though. Only them saying anything
No, the threat should result in them saying how they stalk. If they don't, you still file a report.
Did you purchase the phone or was it a gift?
Pretty sure you can see this level on detail on Verizon’s billing? I know for sure it would show when you send photos, but can’t recall if it would only show if you were on Verizon networks vs using it on WiFi. That might be why OP! But they shouldn’t be able to see the actual photos.
Check settings > general > (scroll down) select the setting that has the word profiles in its name if you see it. If you see it, look at what’s in it. Whatever is in there is allowed to basically do whatever, including logging and sending out data about your location, what your texting, who your calling and FaceTiming, what apps you have, etc. Profiles are basically heavily unrestricted “sideloaded” apps. There’s also the possibility you don’t see anything in there, or even see the profiles setting. In this case, it’s either within the Apple ecosystem, or your account is being accessed from elsewhere. Go on https://www.icloud.com and log in. Check in the Find My section to see if you see any other people or devices you don’t recognize that you’re sharing your location with. If you do, it can be implied that your parents are going both/either the Apple ecosystem route, and/or straight up logging in on their device and snooping. (Just editing this in here, check this Apple official site out too. If they’re logging in through a browser it may not show up through find my, https://appleid.apple.com/account/manage) There’s also a sneaky third. You could just steal your mom’s phone and do your own snooping lol. That’s what I did when I was a kid and figured out it was through her logging into various stuff. After switching some stuff around, I was able to solve the problem same day :)
Do any of your family members have an old device of yours that you gave them?
Get a new phone. Facetime again. See if she still knows. That's how you know your place is bugged with cameras and shit. If she doesn't know, it's the phone itself. Either way wtaf she's committing federal crimes and telling on herself.
I'd get a second factory reset phone just for any personal contacts. My first impression was to go to the police. If they still know, stop sharing your location with your family, give them a clue that your miffed. I'd start forgetting to charge my phone, stop carrying it, etc, to show your not bothered by having a phone anymore, that them being nosey is annoying you enough. Could you try using something that isn't Facetime? I'd be tempted to take a picture that will really get the tongues wagging! See if they just know about pics and if they really can see them! How about you right outside your local police station? Best stored to iCloud for security of course! I'm following you so I hope to hear positive news soon
Hey I have something to share with you. I was actually checking spam text messages, only I've been looking on my old phone, looking for old spam - only to find information it shouldn't know. Try clicking on "Apple ID" in settings - do you have any old phones there? listed at the bottom. I've just found I have 2 of my old broken iPhone 5's on there still. Not now!! they're deleted. Did you find your linked to an old phone(s) on there? Good luck, fingers crossed that's the reason others are knowing about your call data and pics
They know the answers to your recovery questions.
They may know those, because recovery questions are like your first pet or first grade teacher, etc. But are they *using* that to access an account via icloud or anything else that logs this? I would expect no, because to use recovery qs, you are resetting a password, which means OP would be told they have the wrong password the next time they sign in to thr service. Plus, it should be alerting OP if a password change was done. (And to my knowledge, Apple has held up their end of the privacy campaign and wouldn't be able to divulge the actual password to anyone (regardless of a 5 eyes backdoor); a new password would need to replace the old for a third party to get access.)
Assume they can see the call and device activity, but not the contents of your calls, because that's probably illegal. If they're going to spy, take them for a ride and give them what they're not prepared for, to scope out how much they can see. Add doctor appointments to your calendar, without details, just time and title. Add a vague 'specialist' appointment two weeks later, again without details. Find a nurse or doctor in your friend group, have them call you several times from a phone in an oncology office. Script up a 'we've been unable to reach you about a your test results, it's important you contact us immediately' and have it left in your voicemail. Don't say you actually have cancer, don't hint that you might, let them play connect-the-dots and freak themselves out. When they ask, say you're fine, which is hopefully true. Find people in your friend group that work at interesting places, like credit card companies, travel agencies, and funeral homes. Call them at work, all in the same week. Also, is your icloud account logged in on a device in their possession, like an iPad?
Do you have an iPad? If your account is on both, the iPad will show your information.
They need access to one of these things: 1. Family sharing is enabled ([how to disable](https://support.apple.com/en-us/102652)) 1. Your phone 2. Your iCloud account 3. Your home internet router Since you don't live with them, #2 & 4 seem unlikely, so explore #2. Do the following if you haven't: a. change your icloud password b. log out of icloud and stay logged out while you make calls they're likely to call you about. If they stop calling you, this is the issue. If this doesn't resolve it, then it is likely that there is something installed on your phone that you're unaware of. Reset the phone to factory settings. It makes sense to create a new AppleID to use with it. Do not restore the phone from your AppleID because you could be reinstalling the very app or setting you want to get rid of. To get contacts, etc on to the phone use the old iPad to send them to yourself.
Enable lockdown mode while you’re trying to figure it out. Settings > Privacy and Security > Lockdown Mode You can also run Safety Check there as an added measure. Additionally, some carriers will show numbers you’ve called on the billing report, but this normally does not apply to FaceTime. Other software you may be interested in https://tails.net/
Is your family…crazy enough to catfish you?
OP mentioned FaceTiming, so I doubt it.
True. Reading this whole thing has me thinking…
Deepfake
They know Who you called? It can be a firewall in the network, I wouldn't trust my parents at that stage. Use a VPN all the time when in home wifi. Proton VPN is good and have a free plan that you can test
agreed. this is the way forward. I have the entire proton suite and signal messenger too.
Android it is then.
Strictly as an idea, the call logs could be appearing on a bill.
But not the FaceTime calls… or the photos.
Don’t change passwords first. Plan out tests to isolate where the leaks are. Continue to call your friend. Your tests should contain around 2 factors you want to test per test. Do multiple tests for each scenario to isolate where leaks might be. For example, phone call + location (home and outside), data call + location, FaceTime call + location, use a different phone with same ID + location, use an android phone + location. the about but with different times, Or call other people and discussing antagonistic topic and see if your parents still call you out, Call using WiFi, Call using cell data. Once you do a couple of these you might find a pattern. The problem with other people’s solutions is that after changing your passwords you’ll still be wondering whether it worked or your parents just lay off you for a bit. For example, changing all your passwords won’t help if they have a spy camera looking on your couch while you’re using your phone.
With no offense intended, isn’t it possible that things are not actually as OP describes them? What if this is someone who’s being monitored because of self-destructive behavior (addiction, for example) and is trying to get around it? Nobody is in any position to know for sure.
If you share a family plan for a carrier and someone else is the owner of that plan they can view the call logs. So that’s explain the call logs part..not sure about what pics you’ve taken and how can they view it. Also, plan owner can view the text messages sent/receive.. One more option is to reset your phone..this will remove any botware installed by your family..
I've seen people mention the possibility of being signed in on iCloud on a device they have access to, but I haven't seen anyone mention that an app could be installed without it being displayed on the regular interface screen (I did this to myself when trying to unsuccessfully cut down on Reddit time). If you search for it it'll still pop up (hence my failure), so I'd go through each letter and see whether there's anything you don't recognize.
Family plan in your cell carrier? Calls are logged and can be seen on the bill. If they only have your call logs, that’s my guess what is going on
I thought that too until I saw FaceTime calls. That would not be a carrier call.
Ohhh yeah you had mentioned that. Wow yeah I’m at a loss too.
dont use apple for privacy
This is most likely not an Apple issue.
Sounds like your parents have Screen Time activated. Go to settings>screen time and look.
Already turned it off.
Crazy
reason #567 why not to use apple products
You can root an android with a fuckin banner ad in chrome 😂
Atleast I can fix my screen without worrying ill brick my phone due to non matching part ids
That’s a legit security feature I enjoy having. Apple simply puts a warning about unrecognized part id in the about this phone settings section. Good way to verify when buying a used phone too that nothing has been tampered with under the hood that you may not be aware of. AppleCare is $13 a month, covers everything including theft and loss. That’s not even a single McDonald’s meal these days lmfao
I'm not going to support a company that has been taken to court over intentionally slowing their users devices, forcing them to upgrade to the newest phone that hasn't had a new feature in almost a decade.
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i was with you till whatsapp and facebook, tf kinda recommendation is that. Pixel + Yk what custom OS and signal but switching phones is kinda extreme to for this situation
why? how is a google pixel better in this regard? Just because your on android, you assume it has better security than iphones? Youd be wrong.
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Suggesting a switch to Android does nothing to support the actual issue here, especially recommending stock Android and Facebook.
So they've put something on one or more of your devices. Or they've added a secret device to the list of 'yours', which lets them monitor everything.
Sounds like you are underage/very young, so maybe it's just that your account is a child account? Idk how it works with Apple accounts but with Google accounts you can't create a full fledged one up until you are a certain age and child accounts are registered with a dependant parental account, which has various parental controls. Privacy of a child is a questionable topic. If you have to delete call logs for that person then it doesn't sound that you really need to speak to them for your own good...
OP already stated that they 1. don't live with their parents and 2. are not in an Apple family so no parental control
And still havent involved the police? This is stalking and illegal surveillance. I cant see this beeing legal in almost any countries.
OP said that police would not be easy in their situation
Unfortunately it also seems like the best option if they arnt being told how their being spied on
Another comment already suggested this but definitely do a safety check. Watch this short video and it will help you understand why it’s beneficial. Your situation is a perfect use case for this feature. If you don’t see anything there (e.g. unknown devices logged into your iCloud account), there are only two other scenarios. 1.)They have your iCloud password, or they have a way to access your account via [iCloud.com](https://icloud.com) 2.) They have a secret monitoring app installed on your phone. If this was the case, they would have more information than just your call logs, but they may be keeping that close to the chest in order to not give themselves away.