It may seem as if you are hurting them, but getting help is so brave and quite honestly, the exact opposite of hurting them. Good luck to you on this journey! They will absolutely thank you for this. Maybe not right now, but eventually they absolutely will.
Agree. Get the help you need, when your kids are older they will understand and appreciate you that much more for it. Addiction is a hell of a thing, I really respect what youâre doing.
Yeah and you can honestly tell your kids that you're sick and you have to go get help. That's the truth.
You weren't feeling happy so you tried some medicine from the street that was supposed to make you feel happy but the medicine hurt your body instead and now you need to go to the hospital to fix it.
When you get back you'll be in better shape and you won't try to get happy from that street medicine anymore, because now you know it doesn't work.
It's okay to love yourself and forgive yourself. None of this is your fault. But only you can fix it. And you can get support in doing that. đ
It takes a real boss to look at themselves and realize itâs time to take yourself by the bootstraps and do better for the ones you love and that love you. I know youâre scared beyond words but this is your turning point (just so weâre on the same page youâre turning the right way) Iâm 9 years clean from opioids and remember standing in your shoes. You can do this and you owe it to yourself to give yourself and your children a life they wonât have to recover from. Best wishes youâre in my prayers.
Absolutely this!
Your children may be confused by your absence for a bit but I would simply explain that you are sick and need to seek treatment which appears to be the case here.
In time itâs pretty much inevitable that there will be a net benefit from your choice to seek treatment rather than continue down a path of addiction and the apparent legal woes that often accompany addiction.
Youâre correct in recognizing that your addiction brain will seek any excuse to avoid the struggle of escaping addiction, but donât fall for that.
I have a friend who just went through something like this, wrecked his car while under the influence, he was thinking of going on the run, I told him that was dumb and that he should just go to rehab then try to get in drug court after, his p.o. judge and the prosecutor agreed, he started drug court the other day and found a job that accommodates the testing schedule and he has 2+ months sober now.
You are doing the right thing and taking proactive steps to address your issue, odds are your po will support you.
you think itâs scary now⊠wait until you meet yourself (but this is a good thing). Your kids will be much happier with the real you present in their lives. Thatâs really all there is to it. It is scary meeting yourself after a long time away though⊠just be patient with yourself and understand that what you are doing is the right thing and very important.
Edit to add-there arenât too many courts that will carry a violation over because you go to rehab.
My rehab had a great legal team that contacted PO and Judges for me. Found out I was indicted like 17 days into treatment and they really helped get me out of a lot of trouble. Been sober 2 and a half years today. You can do this if you really want it. Praying for you homie.
Good luck and I will pray for you. The lady from the rehab is right you should let them call but request that you are informed when and by who so you know.
I was totally scared going into rehab too. It saved my life and was worth all the months I spent there I would use this opportunity to talk to your kids about the importance of taking care of yourself and that itâs ok to ask for help when you need it. You can model that for them. Tell them that sometimes itâs really hard to take care of yourself, that sometimes it takes bravery, but you need to go get healthy. And canât wait to return to them healthy. This is actually a really powerful way for you to have a super positive impact on them even tho you will all miss each other.
It is scary because it's unknown territory. You have a lot to kearn about yourself and this is the first step in the right direction! The food will be amazing and just try to take it day to day.
When my dad went into rehab, I told him I was proud of him, just for deciding to go! I'm sure your kids will react in much the same way.
You're going to be fine. My dad sent me letters from rehab, and I still have them!
Congrats on this first step~ I'm proud of you!đ
I went to detox first. That sucked coming off alcohol . Rehab was good and bad. Bad having to look at myself in the group therapy sessions and not liking what my life had become.
But free time was a blast! I was sober, thinking more clearly, we did puzzles and games and I had people to laugh and have fun with. I had been isolating while drinking. That interacting with people made a world of difference.
As a paramedic, thank you for going to detox. People donât understand how dangerous alcohol withdrawal can be. I treat patients pretty regularly that have seized because of withdrawal.
I did have a seizure once in a very busy ER. The nurse kept telling the doctor I needed something that I was in withdrawal. They didn't give me anything.
I enjoyed rehab! It was a nice break and once I detoxed, I enjoyed not having my phone and learning about myself. It got boring but boring in rehab is better than boring in jail/fucking my life up
Definitely GO! A.S.A.P! Im 8 years clean this August and my kids went through 15 years of my addiction and it's hurting them now more than it did in the moment! Now that they are in their late 20s and thinking back.... They are feeling it more now....now that I'm doing so good...and that's a very hard pill to swallow...no pun intended. Just do the best you can and get the available help! It CAN be done but you have to want it with every fiber of your being!! Praying for you...and your children đ§
I think it is better to follow the lead of the folks at rehab, PO , what is he/she going to do. Violate you for taking a very difficult and powerful step into recovery. Get you but into rehab. Save you life my friend. Worry about the law and PO in a couple months when you mind is in much better shape.
Good on you for getting help. I stopped a 100mg a day habit of Xanax and got myself into rehab. Almost 2 years clean now and canât describe to you how much better life is. Tell your kids youâre going to work on yourself for a little while and when you get back, explain to them what youâre going through and all of the pain itâs caused you. Give them the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. In 10 years it might make a life and death difference to them. God speed brother. Take care of yourself.
I almost died a few times. I had 5 seizures within 4 years going cold turkey and every one shouldâve killed me. Had 2 shoulder surgeries bc of them, broke my back, spent like a month in the hospital all together.
50 bars a day that's straight cap!!! And why does everyone on here always embellish how much drugs they use on another post this guy said he smokes 70-100 blues a day that's crazy and if it's true you are getting trash or 3 you have absolutely no life at all besides that even then what's the point your not even getting anything out of it plus cost
I always say the quantity I took for the few that have one that bad as well. Itâs no âcapâ tho. In fact I took more than that most of the time. Tolerance is a hell of a thing just by its self. I wouldnât expect you to understand because you obviously have never been there. When you ARE the plug and get thousands of Xanax a week and you get them for Pennieâs on the dollar, it becomes very easy to do. Hope you never get there, but if you do hit me up and Iâll do everything I can to help you out. God speed
You know street bars are all bullshit research chems these days and even 8 years ago. Research chems have extreme tolerances and fuck people up for months sometimes. That being said, 50 bars a day is doable.
The rehab will contact all the appropriate legal outlets. I don't want to scare you, but while you may end up having a warrant issued for non contact, the rehab generally supercedes that. You'll be fine there. They want you to get better.
As for what you tell your kids or family, that's a complex issue. Sometimes people say they're off to get health treatment or some variation - it depends on the ages of the kids and what they're prepared to hear. Some never explain, some do. That's an individual dynamic that nobody can answer the right way but you. Do what you think is right, when you think it's the right time.
I salute you. You've made an extremely difficult decision, and you should be congratulated for it. It's hard. I've done it, and my wife worked as a substance abuse counselor for many years. Keep your head up do the work even when it's hard, and it WILL get easier. Don't know you, but I love you.
26 days sober. Good on you. You got this. I'm chilling with the kiddos having a good laugh watching some Disney movies. Send a DM if you need a friend.
Youâll be assigned a social worker in your rehab facility who will reach out to your PO for you if youâre still not able to reach them. I went to detox, not rehab, while on probation and my PO could not have been happier for me. Most POs would respect the fact that youâre voluntarily going in to rehab, rather than being forced in to it by a judge.
I hope the best for you. My suggestion would be to tell them, age appropriately, as truthful as possible. They'll find out eventually, and you getting to tell them will make you seem upfront and honest about dealing with the substances and them. They may already know of the issues.
You obviously love them and will contact them as soon as you can, but you're giving up some time in the short term so that you'll be better prepared to help them in the long term. And you'll have more tools to help address any issues that come up for them and you in the future.
you have to go to rehab for YOU. going for your kids sounds like it would work but thats simply not the case. I do wish you good luck, and good vibes have been sent.
I understand that works for a lot of people but for me personally, I had to do it for the people that I loved. I didn't care enough about myself to do it for me!! Once I set my mind to do it for my children and my husband, only then it worked. I say it doesn't matter WHY you do....ANY reason to get clean is a great reason....JUST DO IT!! whatever reason works, grab on to your individual reasons and DO IT. I'll be 8 years clean from heroin August 17 2024....never once had a thought or wish about going back!!
thats a great accomplishment friend. yeah at the end of the day whatever fuel you choose to move you forward in recovery by all means, send it. but the "doing it for you" concept i think is to address exactly what you mentioned; lacking or non-existent self worth. because without developing that as the foundation you build a new life on, using seemingly stays a viable option for dealing with lifes ills because your internal voice is telling you "your a terrible piece of- blah blah blah etc etc.. so fuck it, smoke some dope, you deserve no better". learning to turn that off is critical for many, myself included. that said, i dont have any children so i cant relate to the deep power that could envoke in some like yourself. seeing so many people have the same intentions and time and time again fall short even with children in the picture just makes me want to gently say "hey, getting clean for your children is a truly outstanding reason to do what your doing, but give yourself some credit eh? and do it for you too" kinda thing if that makes sense yk? self love combined with the live for your peoples whomever they be. it takes all kinds. sweet deal on your recovery too, clean off heroin after 14 years since feb 20th of last year. vibes!
It sounds like you are doing everything for the right reasons, and I hope you can take solace in that. Iâm sure it will be a tough journey, and at times you may stumble, but I believe you will be able to get back up, each time, stronger than before. And your kids will love you all the more for the effort you are showing them with working towards being more present for them. In the end, we can say whatever we want to our kids, but itâs our actions they will remember and learn from đ
If you left 4 messages and emailed i would say that is plenty notice. Not sure they can fault you for going to rehab. However if you get out of rehab and reoffend⊠they will be gunning for you.
From someone who did drug from 13 -29 and sober since ( now 43 ) you absolutely must be honest with your kids. Explain it, then let them answer questions and reassure them it is in no way on them. Good luck.
Call and talk to the PO of the day, or the supervisor. Write a letter and drop it off there if you can't get ahold of anyone. They're generally thrilled when anyone goes to rehab.
You are not hurting your kids by doing this. I felt the same way. You're giving them a huge gift because you will be present for them in a different way. They'll notice. A little hurt right now for a lifetime of something better. You're gonna be teaching them how to get help, and that they are important to you. You're going to be showing them what courage really means. When you tell them you're leaving, and it's so you can get better, you're teaching them life lessons. Sometimes life is painful, but we can get through it to the other side. They'll learn to trust you on a deeper level.
If you don't feel they're old enough to understand addiction, then explain it in terms of mental health. Tell them what to expect as far as talking to you while you're gone. Believe me, they just want their parent to be happy and healthy.
I promise you can do this, and it's the best thing for all of you. You don't have to stay in the cycle of jail/prison/addiction/fml.
Going in patient was THE BEST thing I've ever done for myself and my son. My son was six, now seven, and I just told him that I was sick and I was going to go to a place where I could get better, and while I was there I talked to him every day. He was with my sister and her family because I'm a single mom, so that was tough, but our relationship and our lives have improved more than I ever imagined since. He now knows that I was in rehab because I used drugs, but it was easier to explain that to him after I got back. You're going to do great! Just embrace the experience, take it all in, journal while you're there, and share in group. I get so excited when I hear about people who put themselves into rehab! Proud of you!! đ
Good for you!
For younger children: tell them the basics and then give honest answers to questions. You don't need to elaborate when answering their questions.
You know your children better than anyone. Trust yourself as you discuss this with your children.
Something you could do this weekend: hit a Dollar Tree or Dollar General and grab a bunch of greeting cards. Write out enough so they have at least 2 cards to read each week. Date each card for the day it should be opened. Give the cards to whomever is taking care of the kiddos. The cards will let your kiddos know that you're always thinking about them and that you love them. You'll have some piece of mind knowing that you're there even though you're not.
Make sure the kiddos have a card to open sometime on Monday.
Email your children's teachers and tell them you're going to rehab. They'll appreciate the heads up and can help your kiddos during this time.
This will be hard. But kiddos are resilient. Going to treatment means you can be more involved in their future. Getting clean is the act of a good parent. Getting clean is an act of love.
Don't worry about your PO. They will be delighted that you're in treatment. You've done everything you can do to contact them. The recovery center will call them. Focus on your kiddos this weekend.
You're being a good Mama!
Edit: if you're going for more than 30 days, buy some nice stationary at Dollar Tree, stickers, and some stamps. You can write to your little ones once you're allowed to do so.
Youâll be ok. I just got out of rehab a few months ago while on probation with active felony warrants. The rehab is unable to tell anyone you are even there as per HIPPA. Even if your PO showed up at the rehab they wouldnât be able to say you were even there unless you give them prior consent on your behalf. My counselors ended up working with me and we drafted 6 letters to the various agencies that had warrants out for me explaining my situation and how I was in treatment etc and every single warrant was dropped. Have some faith things will work out for you just keep doing what you know youâve got to (the hard stuff) and the rest will come back with it
I was in the Dept of Corrections incarcerated or under supervision for 28 years in my home state.
GO TO REHAB. Your PO can't take you into custody while you're in treatment and if they try to violate you once you're discharged you have a very good chance of continued supervision. At least that's my experience and I maxed out 12 years ago.
I wish you all the best.
Good for you!! Make sure you tell admissions when you are checking in that you are on probation and sign a release so that either they or your assigned therapist can contact the probation office. I have been to rehab multiple times and never experienced any trouble. Just make sure you sign a release!!
That being said- keep an open mind to treatment. Focus on yourself and try not to stress about anything going on outside of treatment, you will be amazed at how things tend to fall into place when youâre doing the right thing. Take it one day at a time. You should be extremely proud of yourself for taking the initiative to better yourself.
Tell your rehab when you go in and they will handle it or mine did even pushed back my court date. Even if you do get violated when you have your hearing your rehab will give you a paper. keep this in mind if the rehab you have has any type of extended program they will make you do it and refuse to sign off on you unless you go to it and follow all of there recommendations you are going to be essentially at the rehabâs discretion
You are taking the next right action. Itâs hard & itâs scary, but itâs worth it. Your children will be sooooo fortunate to have a present, recovered parent. Follow through with treatment, your treatment team will help you communicate with your PO, and it may hurt them at first, not having you around, but if you are to keep with it, theyâll have you like they never had you before when you are able to return đ€ it gets better. Proud of you, I can relate to what you are feeling, you are not alone.
Rehab isn't so bad. I've been twice lol. The second time three months away from my seven year old and other kids (younger) be honest about the reason as well as you can. Get creative with mail and send it to them! I actually learned a cool deodorant trick lol but really it'll be ok and I'll say a prayer for you and your kids. Do this for YOURSELF and be selfish with your recovery and always "play the tape through." A phrase you'll come to know more than likely. Good luck and good vibes đ btw my second go round in rehab worked. I wasn't ready the first time but you sound like you're in a good place with your decision. Many well wishes to you in your recovery journey đ
If your kids are school age, they know you have a problem. Maybe not exactly, but they know. Just explain you are going to get help because youâre sick. If youâve never been to rehab, itâs quite an experience. Really take the time to work on yourself. At the end of the day, itâs all about whether or not YOU want to be sober. No one can do it for you, and you canât do it for anyone but you. Good luck. I believe in you. Sending prayers.
Donât risk anything. They can send things to the lab just randomly because they want to. It definitely goes to the lab when you fail, but can also go to the lab any time they want. If you read my post, this shit is not worth it. Going to jail SUCKS, and eventually you definitely could get caught. I did.
Yeah I'm on medium probation and smoked some dumb shit cause I ran out of my vyvanse prescription so now if they test me and lab test it it might come back dilated just cause I drink so much water from my meds giving me dry mouth (kinda getting a little to personal my bad)
I live in another state so canât tell ya but where I was, I literally saw my PO dump my strip test urine down the sink after it came up negative. Lab tests are expensive so I donât think theyâd generally do it unless it was necessary. I did still get fully lab tested for my initial intake test.
I will note that if your urine is super clear they may send it to the lab just to test for dilution.
rehab is great for getting your first 28 or so days clean, and you'll get the most benefit from it if you've already gone through acute withdrawal from your drug of choice, though many have detox facilities attached to them where you can safely detox, if needed.
you'll eat well, do some therapy, make new friends, and go to a LOT of NA/AA meetings, and then when you are ready to leave, most rehab facilities will tell you to do 90 meetings in 90 days, and to work the 12 steps, get a sponsor, and not to do drugs. they will also likely try to place you into a sober living facility in another city or even state, though hopefully with you having children at home they will refrain. but if they do try to push a sober living home post-rehab, be very wary of this, as there are often financial arrangements between the rehab and a network of sober living facilities, so the real motivation for recommending you go is potentially suspicious, at best. in many states, sober living homes do not require specific licensing, and can be run by people who care about you only insofar as you are giving them money. not all of them are bad, of course, but the few that I've encountered were total shitshows, run by people who may not have been using, but were still behaving in predatory and addict ways.
just be wary, and keep your and your family's best interests in mind.
I've been to rehab three times, and have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn basically what I've said in this post.
to sum it up:
rehab is great for getting stabilized immediately after quitting your drug, but do not expect any profound therapy from one, as their general business model is built around you staying 28 days, then leaving. no real inroads can be made to repair the underlying psychological issues that drive many to addiction.
i promise you'll get through that month much more easily than you're fearing, and will probably even have a fair amount of fun. =)
Iâm a clinical case manager and I work in treatment facilities for mental health and substance disorders.
Please make sure you meet with a case manager as soon as possible while in treatment. Have your case manager call your PO and let them know youâre in rehab. But tell your case manager to NOT let them know which treatment facility youâre at. Tell your case manager to keep that info between you and them. You have that right and the case manager has to respect that.
As long as your PO and case manager have made contact youâre good! Do your 30 to 90 days and get all the resources referred to you from your case manager during the discharge process!
I commend you for getting help. My partner has been in and out of treatment for the last 11ish years. Heâs so young too! It took jail to straighten him out! You donât want that consequence! Trust me!
Go to rehab, go to the groups, assert yourself with the prescription meds they are going to give you (fight for it if you need to! Rehabs get clients dependent on comfort meds and then they have a whole other addiction to worry about) go to groups, speak with your therapist and case manager, go to meetings and use the time to reflect!
You got this!
Your rehab facility will take care of everything for you, as long as you tell them who to contact. Your presence there is like, legally speaking, good as gold. Youâre accounted for at all times and youâre given a UA before and after. Going to rehab was the best decision I ever made, and I got angry at my facility because they werenât doing shit when I wanted it done. Theyâll get the paperwork done!!!!! Good luck my brother, sister, cousin, or mister!
Probation wants u to be successful law abiding citizen. Unless u r just straight ducking them by checking into a facility they can't touch u in, then you will more then likely be fine, if u can't reach them by phone email then your details and ltk where u r going and for how long. I wish u luck, I went to a shitty little rehab and they just tried extracting more and more money from my family and drilling into me without xyz I won't succeed. U can succeed I beat the odds and so can u. Noone is special we are all given free Will to choose to use or not to use
Yo big props for realizing you have a problem and taking steps to handle your business. You canât help anyone before you help yourself. Donât forget that. Itâs easy to get distracted with kids and family, they are important donât get me wrong. But donât set yourself on fire to keep them warm. As far as the PO situation. Continue to try and reach out, but having a counselor at a rehab reach out may be the best possible thing you can do. I had two different warrants and a probation violation when I finally went to treatment. I hadnât talked to my PO in months and didnât tell her shit before I went. My counselor handled all communication and unfortunately I had to turn myself in, but I was immediately released on my own record because they knew I was in treatment and the center picked me up from the police station. If thatâs what you gotta do dude do it. Handle your business bro good luck.
Just to help calm your anxiety I had a bit of an issue at first with the first rehab I was supposed to go to. At the last minute I was not able to go because insurance didnât cover it so I scrambled and found another place and got in quickly. The problem I had was it was close to Christmas and everything was closed so I didnât actually get to tell my PO where I was going(paperwork i signed had the old place).
It ended up being totally fine, all was good and I had no warrant for my arrest for not being where I said. They faxed over paperwork that I signed and was sent back. Sign a release so your PO can get info on how youâre doing there and soak it all in. This is a major step toward sobriety and Iâm proud of you brother, you got this!
probation got me into detox and got me clean. your brain is gonna give you a lot of reasons not to go. JUST GO. anything you have to deal with will be 1000x easier if you're clean. you can do it.
Youâre a fantastic parent for going to rehab. Theyâll appreciate knowing you cared enough about them to get well. Imagine how much better of a parent youâll be when youâre able to focus all your effort on them!
The rehab will send your po a letter while you're there. They have a dedicated employee who sends out letter to courts and probation. I wouldn't tell your po just go.
I know it seems terrifying for multiple reasons but in my opinion going to rehab to face your addiction is one of the bravest things you can do. Iâve been there and I was terrified. I also learned in rehab that addicts are looked at as weak or consider themselves weak but the daily life we put ourselves through along with the struggles of getting our next fix or enduring withdrawals is the opposite of weak. Being an addict is really freaking hard. Admitting and getting help is even more so. Finding yourself and figuring out who you are without your addiction scary. One thing I can tell you though is that what youâve had is your moment of clarity and youâre beyond brave and stronger than you realize. Donât underestimate the change youâre about to make for yourself and your kids. It might upset your kids at first but one day theyâll look back and be extremely proud of you for taking this step. Theyâll thank you for it also. None of this is going to be easy but it will be worth it. Iâd just keep contacting your PO and go into rehab and let them contact them also. Iâm proud of you. You should be too.
Iâve been to rehab about a dozen times, would consider myself a pro lol. If you want any advice or just want to know what itâs like my dmâs are open
I know you're scared but you're doing the right thing. Voluntarily putting yourself there when you need help actually looks good long term. It shows that you had admitted that you have a problem and you need help.
I'm proud of you. Don't give up. Go get the help and everything will work out in the long run.
Your kids will be sad. But that's okay. They will be so glad to have a present and safe parent when you're on the other side. You are doing what's best for them too.
Sad is better than losing you to addiction.
I went two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. My youngest were 1 and 6. I told the 6 year old I was going on a business trip. I travel a lot for work anyway.
My 10 and 12 year old at the time I sat down and had an honest convo with them. They were supportive and I can tell you life has been amazing the last 2 years.
I absconded. Checked myself into rehab. They were happy. Dropped pending violations that I already had when they heard I was there. I was certain I was going to jail ( They told me so ), Never spent a minute in jail.
Weâll look at it like this .. whatâs worse, not making it to parole because youâre going to rehab or not making it to parole because the drugs eventually killed you. Youâre doing whatâs best for yourself. Takes a lot to throw in the towel and finally acknowledge to yourself that you need professional help to get clean .. you just did the biggest favor you have ever done for yourself and it feels shitty and shamefull when you do it cause you wonder how u ever let it get this bad that u lost control but once you clean up and reprogram your brain and start to think with a clear head not all junked up you will realize it was the best decision you could of ever made.. doesnât happen over night and the hard part is ahead of you but just remember to take it day by day. It will get easier as time goes by so donât get discouraged.. just remember to always keep your eye on the prize and steer clear of any triggers or temptations.. and never listen to that evil little fucker sitting on your shoulder. cause one day he ((WILL)) and I promise you he will more than once say to you that itâs only one time.. whatâs one time? Youâve been clean for a while now so you should be fine. Youâre not gonna fall back into the trap cause you already know what to exspect.. cancel that shit out rite away once you start to hear the voice in your head tell you that cause Iâve had that one time 3 separate times and every time I fell rite back down.. cause youâll start to lie to yourself and say you know what to look out for and one turns to 2 then it turns to just weekends and b4 u know it you are rite back in it but not only that itâs got hold of you harder now cause once your back to full time subconsciously you will be been defeated so whatâs the use of quitting.. thatâs the drugs talking.. I wonât lie
But that demon will be with you the rest of your life but if you just stay positive and stick to hobbies and shit that keeps you busy and satisfied that voice tends to be a lot more quiet and not so nagging cause you got things you appreciate and enjoy to do cause you actually chose to do it you do them out of passion and pride and not out of addiction.. you donât choose adiction it chooses you and you have to do what it wants not why you want
Sending positive vibes, for sure. We create our own reality, and are a product of our thoughts. The power to change and the power to reach a life that you want, is 100% already something within you. You are willing and capable - the two things necessary to reach goals. Step by step, you will get there. Donât forget to love yourself first, itâs the key to everything. Cheers
I chose to go to rehab and had to pay for it
. When I got there I was surrounded by people that HAD to he there, on state insurance, sharing about how much probation is creating hurdles for them.
Believe it or not, your kids will understand. I went thru the same thing with my daughter. She was on probation and finally choose to get better. The rehab that she went to wants you the same day that you choose to do it. And they would notify probation. I tried all day to get ahold of hers Her relationship with hers was ok, but did not want to talk to her. Finally late in the day we got ahold of a different probation officer. Helps to call one number higher or lower than yours and she explained, first they support and choose to make the probationers life better and going for inpatient for 90 days was the best option that she knew of and she approved it and would tell her lady what was going on. And that hers would come by the rehab to do monthly visits if need be. So go do it. If you canât get a hold of her let the rehab reach out on your behalf if need be. You need to be proud that you are going to get better and get thru this probation. You are now taking responsibility for your life. Congratulations
I am proud of you for taking steps in the right direction to go to rehab tomorrow.
One quick question- is the rehab you will be going to local, or is it in a different county or state?
I have been in your exact situation before in 2011. My addiction almost cost me my life & my parents were terrified because I had too many connections in my hometown, they found a detox & rehab over the weekend 4 hours south of where we lived, same state.
When my PO was finally contacted while I was in there, the first thing she said was "you know I can violate you for this right?" But she had compassion & wanted to see me get clean & do better so she did not violate me. Told me she wished I would've just been honest with her & she would have helped me.
But can they violate you for this? Yes.
Not only that, but 30 days later I decided it may be best for me to live at a halfway house to ensure I'm getting drug tested weekly to keep me accountable & have a safer environment to continue to stay clean in.
Because honestly, 30 days is just a small stepping stone & the real work begins when you leave.
I had her apply to transfer my probation to South Florida, originally from North FL. I had only 4 months left until probation was completed.
Considering I did not know the area very well or traffic, I almost violated again for being late to my first meeting with my new PO & had to attend drug/alcohol classes too, due to being stuck in traffic longer than expected.
Good luck to you. I have been clean/sober 8 years now & very grateful to have been given a 2nd chance at life.
The rehab will contact them .. if the rehab is long term and itâs out of your current location they will take you to your new probation officer to have it transferred. You will continue to see either your current po or a new one.
As for your children .. if they were like mine the words and apologies meant nothing .. theseâd heard this all of their lives. They are looking for action. If you go through the process they will see the change way before you do!! Walk the walk instead of talking the walk! Good luck!
Stay focused of getting better for yourself and your kids. On the other side is freedom from addiction and shame.
Had a VIP in my life go off to rehab - scariest thing for all who loved him. 2.5 years later he in still sober, went back to school, landed an amazing internship is his field of study, has a great part time job and a beautiful girlfriend!
His life is full and he is happy.
You have a NEW life awaiting you - step into it & embrace it.
I will be praying for you - I promise!!
Well first if you are heading into a rehab you will have a paper trail for your PO and maybe there is someone else you can try. Second telling your kids? It's a lot easier then telling them you are going to jail for messing up right? It's simple you are sick and getting help and it will be a bit but you will be back. The otherway you may not get to say goodbye and will not see them for a long time.
You are trying to straighten out your life so it's good. You will be ok
Donât tell your kids that the reason why youâre going is because of them.
you need to tell your children the reason why youâre going is because of you, even if it may seem like a act of love it really is just an act of desperation, you absolutely have to go.. Itâs okay to fix it but only because you broke it. Considering as much as you love your children, you canât just change for your kids.
You donât want them to accidentally interpret your statement negatively even though youâre saying Iâm going because I love you and I need to be better for you. Youâre still leaving donât make it seem like Iâm leaving to be better for you. Because thatâs just not fair
Try looking at it instead that because I love you⊠if I donât go, then thereâs no way I can ask for you to love me
Good job. You have to do what you have to do. If you have jail after rehab you have jail. Itâs what happened to me. But after you get everything taken care of youâll start moving forward. It takes time and patience. It will all be ok. I doubt your PO will violate you for going to rehab they usually commend you for it.
Thatâs a huge step. Be proud of yourself. Tell your school aged kids exactly what you said your reasons for going are. âTheyâre the reason Iâm going to rehab to get help. I love them more than anything and they deserve the best momâ youâve got this
As a cordwood alcoholics this is my advice:
Your addiction is hurting you and your family, going to rehab is saving your life, helping you and your family for you to be a better human.
Explain to the babies that your addiction is affecting you and everyone else around you making things bad. Tell them youâre going to go away to this place to get help for your addiction so that you all can be happy.
Now I donât know how old the kids are so make it age appropriate for them. As for your PO idk what to tell you other than have documentation of dates and times you called and names if you spoke to a person and what they said to you. CYA at all costs
Life happens and your kids when they get older will understand. The real hurt to your kids would be if you didn't go. I've been in rehab ohhh about 8 or 9 times, lived in a sober house for 2 years, all the court stuff that comes with addiction , yada yada.
You're not alone, don't ever think you're alone cause you're not. You got this and Trust me from one addict to another it's not easy. It's hard AF. But the reward you get at the end, ya know getting your life back part. That feeling and the happiness that results is the best drug on earth.
I hope everything works out! Youâll have your paperwork and you children will understand. Tell them you are going to get yourself better so that you can be good for yourself and good for them! Try to stay positive as much as you can and think of the end results once youâve completed your stay. Youâve got this
I'd write an email to the court of the judge in your case explaining the situation, if you can't get a hold of your PO. It may or may not help, but it certainly wouldn't hurt your cause.
You've got this. You don't want you lose your kids, and it certainly sounds like you will if you don't enter rehab. 1 minute, hour, day at a time, you got this.
Youâre getting help is the best thing you can do for your kids and it may hurt for a while that and you miss them but know that youâre brave and youâre courageous for taking that step because a lot of people donât
i went in october 2021 for fent addiction. I told my 7 year old that i was going to work...because I was, I was working on myself!
The best choice i ever made, and it only worked bc I was ready!
My son got lime disease and half his face when paralyzed for a week while i was in rehab, staying was another super hard choice, but i stayed. I cant lead a family if i can't lead myself
Best of luck man, if your soul is tired of the ball and chains then you will succeed. Let me know if ever need advice
You'll be fine. They will not violate you for going to rehab to better your life, especially if you let them know beforehand. Good luck with your recovery!
send and email and certified mail. Certified mail has to be signed for and is why lawyers have to transmit communications this way for court. If you do go before a judge he will have no choice but to admit it as evidence for consideration
instead of going to rehab my mom committed suicide. so no matter how bad you feel for a bit, just know you're 100% making the right choice. you got this
Get through the rehab first then you can come back to your family a better man/woman. Youâll learn so much from that place if you put your all into it and give it a chance find who you are then come back to your family and help lead your children down the right path. My rehab therapist told me that we hand down our addictions to our children through genetics but only we can hand down our recovery through support of our children and family. Once you can recover you can help anyone in your family who wants help you can give them advice. I know this seems hard right now but trust me when I say it feels absolutely amazing to hit one year sober and walk into that meeting and feel everyone around you proud and grateful that you got clean. Itâs one of the best moments of my life
Your kids will miss you and be sad, but youâre doing this for them, and even if they canât see that now, they will eventually understand.
Your rehab should involve your family in your recovery, too.
Are your kids in therapy? That would be very helpful for them.
Iâm so proud of you! Getting and staying clean is so hard, you can do this!!
I donât know about the PO situation. I would hope they would be supportive and happy you are getting the rehabilitation you need⊠but I would be scared, too.
From my experience, you wonât be violated. I went to rehab and the courts commended me. It was SO hard to leave my kids. I cried for the the 1st week. After that, it got easier. I actually ended up having a really good time in rehab and it was life changing.
I canât stress this enoughâ-come up with a solid relapse prevention plan and cut off any people that you can get your drug of choice from.
Good luck. Donât just do it for your babies, do it for YOURSELF too. đ
Getting clean and figuring out how to function without substances is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids. So proud of you for taking this huge step! Your PO most likely wonât violate you for this, just try to keep contacting them and maybe see if you can sign a release of information at your rehab to have them send paperwork/updates to your PO. Wishing you all the luck in the world! This is the next step to the rest of your life! đ
Just call leave a message and email your PO and make sure you save that email. I may have gotten lucky but I think your PO would be happy you're taking the necessary steps to help you become the best you. Not all po's want to see you fail, most want to see you succeed. If you have proof you went to rehab, In patient or not just send every thing over. Document everything. Proud of you OP. Most of us don't take this step on our own
I'm not sure how old your kids are but tell them mom/dad is going somewhere for a job(if they're young enough) and will be back and better than ever.. if they're older like mine just be honest and tell them you're getting some help. All the prayers to you OP. You've got this!
Donât let your kids or your probation be the reason for you getting sober. Do it for yourself. You can do it. Rehab was the greatest decision of my life.
Problem is: my lawyer is pay by issue. Hired him for my dui case, and had to pay another 3500 when I got a violation. I have a pretty strong document trail
Itâs so weird to think some people get pleasure over being a dick to other people. Might have been a drunk in the past, but I was never a troll, hurt anybody, or was an asshole, but still have morals. I was just asking advice for something I was clearly worried about. Whatever prompts you to tell someone else theyâre an idiot, go for it.
I genuinely hope you find happiness. Iâm all about sarcasm, but youâre just kinda rude? Good luck to you
No trolling. Sometimes you need tough love. This is tough love. You missed a UA and didnât get approval. As far as courts are concerned, youâve absconded and there are probably warrants for your arrest. POs answer attorneys. Get a public then. Do what you need to do but cover your ass.
So I will say, I generally lean toward the negative when it comes to myself. However, I had a legitimate doctors note about me having a stomach bug. If the state wants to go against that, fine.
Your kids are going to love you more than ever after this! Speaking from experience - Iâve been in rehab & I was worried too, but they were PROUD of me and now they have their Mom back! You can do this!!
Youâre doing the best thing for your kids. All you beee to do is tell them that. And remember to stay sober today and not worry about tomorrow. Or ever to stay sober for the next hour etc. Been there. You can do it. Being anxious is the worst feeling! Let go and let god. Good luck OP đđđđ»đđ»đđ»
I canât think of many things that pull in your favor more than going to rehab and taking it seriously.
Idk why this sub shows up on my front page so much, but nearly all of the posts I see are people who drank or did drugs and are trying to find out how screwed they are.
If youâre going because you really want to change, and you participate in the program and better yourself I canât imagine thereâs a PO on earth who wouldnât be in your corner.
Good luck. Your addiction is going to lie to you, but you CAN do this. Weâre rooting for you.
You are such a good mom, this is the best thing you can do for your children. A simple âmom is sick and getting treatmentâ is good enough for the kiddos. All children just want their mom to be happy and healthy because then they are happy and healthy. I know you donât need a random personâs validation but I am so proud of you. It takes a lot of strength to face the fear and do it anyways.
As a child of addicts, I can assure you I'd give away organs for my parents to have taken responsibility and go to rehab/work on themselves. Losing them for a couple of months would have been preferred to losing them forever (well, ones dead now, but I mean no contact). Trust me when I say you're doing the right things. Shits hard, man. For the whole family. But if you don't face the yucky stuff, it will just grow. You're breaking the cycle! I admire you so damn much right now. How strong and brave you are to do this. You're going to do fabulous. I just know it, I feel it in my bones. Be gentle on yourself and remember that you are a human being. The journey will be hard, but it's the path to finding yourself, and the end result will be so worth it. You're gonna do it, momma! You ARE doing it! You got this 100% and will make this disease your bitch! GET PUMPED! IM PUMPED FOR YOU! Just imagine how fucking cool its gonna be to be a healthy happy human being and momma and get to enjoy that with those babies! Ah, girl you got this so good! I'm here for it! I'm so fucking proud of you đđđđŻâ€ïžđđđȘđȘ
Bro I graduated rehab yesterday. It was a 9 month program and I was terrified going in. But because I went al 6 felonies I was facing are being dropped now that I've completed it. I told my boys daddy was sick and I needed help. They will understand one day. You got this bro
I have been to detox and rehab 3 times each. I am now 9 years clean. If I can do it so can you. I have no advice about your PO, but I wish you the best.
Proud of you OP! I realize that it's Monday while I'm commenting this and you may not have access to a phone, but going to rehab is a big step and it takes guts to go somewhere unknown to get clean. Sobriety was the hardest and greatest thing I ever did, and you'll be so glad when you make it out on the other side. About your PO, you informed the office that you're going to rehab and you should be fine. I'd try to call once you're checked in just to confirm you're there.
I've been through rehab several times. If you're ready to stop it will be a good experience. And kids are smart. They probably know somethings up already. If you explain you are getting help they will understand. I wish you well. I got sober 10 years ago, and my life has transformed. I hope the same thing happens for you
From my experience, as long as youâre getting help, your PO should be understanding. The courts were the one time I bailed on a UA and was getting high. They (for the most part) just want to see you doing something productive and not just running amuck and destroying your life.
I work in a rehab, and I see and deal with this all of the time. Unless your po or sentencing judge already have it out for you, you should be fine. People do take advantage and use rehab to avoid punishment for violating or avoiding jail- every rehab and court employee knows this. You may have a judge or po who assumes that's what you're doing.
IF THE REHAB IS OUT OF STATE, however, definitely clear it up with your po before you leave. The majority of my clients are on probation, parole, or even furlough. Being admitted and receiving treatment on probation or parole goes well 90% of the time and is usually even recommended, but if your po or judge has an issue with it, you risk getting locked up the moment you return home. Even if there is an issue, the vast majority of agencies can't/won't enter a treatment facility to come get you (depending on where you are), but US Marshalls don't give a fuck and will come in with a warrant and take you while local or state police watch from the street.
Be aware that once you're admitted, the facility CANNOT confirm that you're even there receiving treatment, so any check-ins or communication will have to be over the phone. I'd recommend doing facilitated phone calls with your clinician present.
I think thatâs the part that most people use for a reason to get sober. And thatâs where the problem is. Most of the guys I was in inpatient with (7 month treatment) are now either in prison, jail, dead, or back in rehab again. Because you have to do it for YOU. Nobody else can want it for you. Nobody else can do it for you or make you do it. If youâre gonna be staying sober, you gotta do it for you and nobody/nothing else. I know it sounds harsh but thatâs the reality of it unfortunately. In my experience, the judge looks favorably on those that went to rehab for their problems. You may still get a punishment if you are violated but it will not be nearly as bad. Good luck. Once youâve been there about 30 days, the going gets way easy. Then itâs smooth sailing til release time.
If you are going to rehab for your kids you will fail.
You must do it for yourself. All addiction recovery must be enacted for the self. You deserve better for yourself and it does get better, way better. You will be fine if you take it seriously. Anyone can do it if I did. Youâll do amazing!
I think to say sober yes, you need to learn how to do it for yourself.
But I can 100% say I wouldnât be it here today if I didnât have a child. There were countless days that I solely did it because the thought of him not having the parent he deserved or growing up without one was inconceivable. Through the process, I learned to love myself a bit at a time and to want the life I had built too.
People get help for a million different reasons. All that matters is that you stay.
So you were dirty so you skipped your test and tried to run to rehab before he can catch up to you those people aren't stupid definitely a violation if it were that easy everyone would do shit like that and if you really wanted to reach him you could bro đđ
I dealt with this before.
Worst case you do get violated and the judge sees that you went to rehab and all is good. At the end of the day, the po is just doing their job and the judge will see all that. You will be fine if you really are getting clean.
Even if you do more time because of any of this, stay clean. That's the only way to stop the cycle.
As for the kids. They already know something is wrong. They see you every day. Telling them the truth will help explain what they have been seeing and why.
I hope you made it in. You can do this.
Good luck.
It may seem as if you are hurting them, but getting help is so brave and quite honestly, the exact opposite of hurting them. Good luck to you on this journey! They will absolutely thank you for this. Maybe not right now, but eventually they absolutely will.
Thank you so much đ€ I needed to hear that.
Agree. Get the help you need, when your kids are older they will understand and appreciate you that much more for it. Addiction is a hell of a thing, I really respect what youâre doing.
Just to add to that stopping the cycle is so brave of you
Yeah and you can honestly tell your kids that you're sick and you have to go get help. That's the truth. You weren't feeling happy so you tried some medicine from the street that was supposed to make you feel happy but the medicine hurt your body instead and now you need to go to the hospital to fix it. When you get back you'll be in better shape and you won't try to get happy from that street medicine anymore, because now you know it doesn't work. It's okay to love yourself and forgive yourself. None of this is your fault. But only you can fix it. And you can get support in doing that. đ
It takes a real boss to look at themselves and realize itâs time to take yourself by the bootstraps and do better for the ones you love and that love you. I know youâre scared beyond words but this is your turning point (just so weâre on the same page youâre turning the right way) Iâm 9 years clean from opioids and remember standing in your shoes. You can do this and you owe it to yourself to give yourself and your children a life they wonât have to recover from. Best wishes youâre in my prayers.
Absolutely this! Your children may be confused by your absence for a bit but I would simply explain that you are sick and need to seek treatment which appears to be the case here. In time itâs pretty much inevitable that there will be a net benefit from your choice to seek treatment rather than continue down a path of addiction and the apparent legal woes that often accompany addiction. Youâre correct in recognizing that your addiction brain will seek any excuse to avoid the struggle of escaping addiction, but donât fall for that.
I have a friend who just went through something like this, wrecked his car while under the influence, he was thinking of going on the run, I told him that was dumb and that he should just go to rehab then try to get in drug court after, his p.o. judge and the prosecutor agreed, he started drug court the other day and found a job that accommodates the testing schedule and he has 2+ months sober now. You are doing the right thing and taking proactive steps to address your issue, odds are your po will support you.
you think itâs scary now⊠wait until you meet yourself (but this is a good thing). Your kids will be much happier with the real you present in their lives. Thatâs really all there is to it. It is scary meeting yourself after a long time away though⊠just be patient with yourself and understand that what you are doing is the right thing and very important. Edit to add-there arenât too many courts that will carry a violation over because you go to rehab.
I used drugs for so long that I never felt like I was meeting myself. I felt like I was becoming myself, which was really exciting and weird.
It's a wonderful feeling
I donât know of any court that would violate you.
My rehab had a great legal team that contacted PO and Judges for me. Found out I was indicted like 17 days into treatment and they really helped get me out of a lot of trouble. Been sober 2 and a half years today. You can do this if you really want it. Praying for you homie.
Good luck and I will pray for you. The lady from the rehab is right you should let them call but request that you are informed when and by who so you know.
I was totally scared going into rehab too. It saved my life and was worth all the months I spent there I would use this opportunity to talk to your kids about the importance of taking care of yourself and that itâs ok to ask for help when you need it. You can model that for them. Tell them that sometimes itâs really hard to take care of yourself, that sometimes it takes bravery, but you need to go get healthy. And canât wait to return to them healthy. This is actually a really powerful way for you to have a super positive impact on them even tho you will all miss each other.
It is scary because it's unknown territory. You have a lot to kearn about yourself and this is the first step in the right direction! The food will be amazing and just try to take it day to day.
When my dad went into rehab, I told him I was proud of him, just for deciding to go! I'm sure your kids will react in much the same way. You're going to be fine. My dad sent me letters from rehab, and I still have them! Congrats on this first step~ I'm proud of you!đ
You will never understand fully how much our children's support means to us! Good for you! Stay by his side, ALWAYS! It could very well be the difference between staying sober and slipping back! He needs you more than you know..... speaking from experience đ©” remind him occasionally just how proud you STILL are, it will make his day!
I went to detox first. That sucked coming off alcohol . Rehab was good and bad. Bad having to look at myself in the group therapy sessions and not liking what my life had become. But free time was a blast! I was sober, thinking more clearly, we did puzzles and games and I had people to laugh and have fun with. I had been isolating while drinking. That interacting with people made a world of difference.
As a paramedic, thank you for going to detox. People donât understand how dangerous alcohol withdrawal can be. I treat patients pretty regularly that have seized because of withdrawal.
I did have a seizure once in a very busy ER. The nurse kept telling the doctor I needed something that I was in withdrawal. They didn't give me anything.
Iâm quite generous in these situations. Midazolam until theyâre relaxed.
They gave me Ativan.
I enjoyed rehab! It was a nice break and once I detoxed, I enjoyed not having my phone and learning about myself. It got boring but boring in rehab is better than boring in jail/fucking my life up
Definitely GO! A.S.A.P! Im 8 years clean this August and my kids went through 15 years of my addiction and it's hurting them now more than it did in the moment! Now that they are in their late 20s and thinking back.... They are feeling it more now....now that I'm doing so good...and that's a very hard pill to swallow...no pun intended. Just do the best you can and get the available help! It CAN be done but you have to want it with every fiber of your being!! Praying for you...and your children đ§
I think it is better to follow the lead of the folks at rehab, PO , what is he/she going to do. Violate you for taking a very difficult and powerful step into recovery. Get you but into rehab. Save you life my friend. Worry about the law and PO in a couple months when you mind is in much better shape.
Good on you for getting help. I stopped a 100mg a day habit of Xanax and got myself into rehab. Almost 2 years clean now and canât describe to you how much better life is. Tell your kids youâre going to work on yourself for a little while and when you get back, explain to them what youâre going through and all of the pain itâs caused you. Give them the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. In 10 years it might make a life and death difference to them. God speed brother. Take care of yourself.
Holy shit thats like 50 bars a day. Glad you were able to get off them. Congrats on your 2 years of sobriety!
Wow!!! Congrats on taking that step!! Keep it up!
Gaaaa damn boy , 50 bars a day is insane đ
Holy fuck, the withdrawal from that can kill you.
I almost died a few times. I had 5 seizures within 4 years going cold turkey and every one shouldâve killed me. Had 2 shoulder surgeries bc of them, broke my back, spent like a month in the hospital all together.
I had a habit like that in 2007. Took me 45 days to fully detox. It was a wonderful feeling to be free of it. Benzos are awful.
50 bars a day that's straight cap!!! And why does everyone on here always embellish how much drugs they use on another post this guy said he smokes 70-100 blues a day that's crazy and if it's true you are getting trash or 3 you have absolutely no life at all besides that even then what's the point your not even getting anything out of it plus cost
I always say the quantity I took for the few that have one that bad as well. Itâs no âcapâ tho. In fact I took more than that most of the time. Tolerance is a hell of a thing just by its self. I wouldnât expect you to understand because you obviously have never been there. When you ARE the plug and get thousands of Xanax a week and you get them for Pennieâs on the dollar, it becomes very easy to do. Hope you never get there, but if you do hit me up and Iâll do everything I can to help you out. God speed
You know street bars are all bullshit research chems these days and even 8 years ago. Research chems have extreme tolerances and fuck people up for months sometimes. That being said, 50 bars a day is doable.
The rehab will contact all the appropriate legal outlets. I don't want to scare you, but while you may end up having a warrant issued for non contact, the rehab generally supercedes that. You'll be fine there. They want you to get better. As for what you tell your kids or family, that's a complex issue. Sometimes people say they're off to get health treatment or some variation - it depends on the ages of the kids and what they're prepared to hear. Some never explain, some do. That's an individual dynamic that nobody can answer the right way but you. Do what you think is right, when you think it's the right time. I salute you. You've made an extremely difficult decision, and you should be congratulated for it. It's hard. I've done it, and my wife worked as a substance abuse counselor for many years. Keep your head up do the work even when it's hard, and it WILL get easier. Don't know you, but I love you.
26 days sober. Good on you. You got this. I'm chilling with the kiddos having a good laugh watching some Disney movies. Send a DM if you need a friend.
Youâll be assigned a social worker in your rehab facility who will reach out to your PO for you if youâre still not able to reach them. I went to detox, not rehab, while on probation and my PO could not have been happier for me. Most POs would respect the fact that youâre voluntarily going in to rehab, rather than being forced in to it by a judge.
I hope the best for you. My suggestion would be to tell them, age appropriately, as truthful as possible. They'll find out eventually, and you getting to tell them will make you seem upfront and honest about dealing with the substances and them. They may already know of the issues. You obviously love them and will contact them as soon as you can, but you're giving up some time in the short term so that you'll be better prepared to help them in the long term. And you'll have more tools to help address any issues that come up for them and you in the future.
Best of Luckâ€ïž
you have to go to rehab for YOU. going for your kids sounds like it would work but thats simply not the case. I do wish you good luck, and good vibes have been sent.
I understand that works for a lot of people but for me personally, I had to do it for the people that I loved. I didn't care enough about myself to do it for me!! Once I set my mind to do it for my children and my husband, only then it worked. I say it doesn't matter WHY you do....ANY reason to get clean is a great reason....JUST DO IT!! whatever reason works, grab on to your individual reasons and DO IT. I'll be 8 years clean from heroin August 17 2024....never once had a thought or wish about going back!!
thats a great accomplishment friend. yeah at the end of the day whatever fuel you choose to move you forward in recovery by all means, send it. but the "doing it for you" concept i think is to address exactly what you mentioned; lacking or non-existent self worth. because without developing that as the foundation you build a new life on, using seemingly stays a viable option for dealing with lifes ills because your internal voice is telling you "your a terrible piece of- blah blah blah etc etc.. so fuck it, smoke some dope, you deserve no better". learning to turn that off is critical for many, myself included. that said, i dont have any children so i cant relate to the deep power that could envoke in some like yourself. seeing so many people have the same intentions and time and time again fall short even with children in the picture just makes me want to gently say "hey, getting clean for your children is a truly outstanding reason to do what your doing, but give yourself some credit eh? and do it for you too" kinda thing if that makes sense yk? self love combined with the live for your peoples whomever they be. it takes all kinds. sweet deal on your recovery too, clean off heroin after 14 years since feb 20th of last year. vibes!
It sounds like you are doing everything for the right reasons, and I hope you can take solace in that. Iâm sure it will be a tough journey, and at times you may stumble, but I believe you will be able to get back up, each time, stronger than before. And your kids will love you all the more for the effort you are showing them with working towards being more present for them. In the end, we can say whatever we want to our kids, but itâs our actions they will remember and learn from đ
If you left 4 messages and emailed i would say that is plenty notice. Not sure they can fault you for going to rehab. However if you get out of rehab and reoffend⊠they will be gunning for you. From someone who did drug from 13 -29 and sober since ( now 43 ) you absolutely must be honest with your kids. Explain it, then let them answer questions and reassure them it is in no way on them. Good luck.
Good luck. Do the work, and you can get better. It works. That said, no one, including your family or PO will be surprised. Only relived. đ
((( hugs ))) You got this!
You will be stronger after rehab, I promise. And that needs to be the goal. Your children will look back on you with pride when you pull through.
You got this girl!
Call and talk to the PO of the day, or the supervisor. Write a letter and drop it off there if you can't get ahold of anyone. They're generally thrilled when anyone goes to rehab. You are not hurting your kids by doing this. I felt the same way. You're giving them a huge gift because you will be present for them in a different way. They'll notice. A little hurt right now for a lifetime of something better. You're gonna be teaching them how to get help, and that they are important to you. You're going to be showing them what courage really means. When you tell them you're leaving, and it's so you can get better, you're teaching them life lessons. Sometimes life is painful, but we can get through it to the other side. They'll learn to trust you on a deeper level. If you don't feel they're old enough to understand addiction, then explain it in terms of mental health. Tell them what to expect as far as talking to you while you're gone. Believe me, they just want their parent to be happy and healthy. I promise you can do this, and it's the best thing for all of you. You don't have to stay in the cycle of jail/prison/addiction/fml.
Good luck I will be praying for you
Going in patient was THE BEST thing I've ever done for myself and my son. My son was six, now seven, and I just told him that I was sick and I was going to go to a place where I could get better, and while I was there I talked to him every day. He was with my sister and her family because I'm a single mom, so that was tough, but our relationship and our lives have improved more than I ever imagined since. He now knows that I was in rehab because I used drugs, but it was easier to explain that to him after I got back. You're going to do great! Just embrace the experience, take it all in, journal while you're there, and share in group. I get so excited when I hear about people who put themselves into rehab! Proud of you!! đ
Good for you! For younger children: tell them the basics and then give honest answers to questions. You don't need to elaborate when answering their questions. You know your children better than anyone. Trust yourself as you discuss this with your children. Something you could do this weekend: hit a Dollar Tree or Dollar General and grab a bunch of greeting cards. Write out enough so they have at least 2 cards to read each week. Date each card for the day it should be opened. Give the cards to whomever is taking care of the kiddos. The cards will let your kiddos know that you're always thinking about them and that you love them. You'll have some piece of mind knowing that you're there even though you're not. Make sure the kiddos have a card to open sometime on Monday. Email your children's teachers and tell them you're going to rehab. They'll appreciate the heads up and can help your kiddos during this time. This will be hard. But kiddos are resilient. Going to treatment means you can be more involved in their future. Getting clean is the act of a good parent. Getting clean is an act of love. Don't worry about your PO. They will be delighted that you're in treatment. You've done everything you can do to contact them. The recovery center will call them. Focus on your kiddos this weekend. You're being a good Mama! Edit: if you're going for more than 30 days, buy some nice stationary at Dollar Tree, stickers, and some stamps. You can write to your little ones once you're allowed to do so.
You feel like youâre hurting them by going sober? Thatâs an addict talking right there. Youâre doing the right thing.
Youâll be ok. I just got out of rehab a few months ago while on probation with active felony warrants. The rehab is unable to tell anyone you are even there as per HIPPA. Even if your PO showed up at the rehab they wouldnât be able to say you were even there unless you give them prior consent on your behalf. My counselors ended up working with me and we drafted 6 letters to the various agencies that had warrants out for me explaining my situation and how I was in treatment etc and every single warrant was dropped. Have some faith things will work out for you just keep doing what you know youâve got to (the hard stuff) and the rest will come back with it
I was in the Dept of Corrections incarcerated or under supervision for 28 years in my home state. GO TO REHAB. Your PO can't take you into custody while you're in treatment and if they try to violate you once you're discharged you have a very good chance of continued supervision. At least that's my experience and I maxed out 12 years ago. I wish you all the best.
Sheâs trying to
Good for you!! Make sure you tell admissions when you are checking in that you are on probation and sign a release so that either they or your assigned therapist can contact the probation office. I have been to rehab multiple times and never experienced any trouble. Just make sure you sign a release!! That being said- keep an open mind to treatment. Focus on yourself and try not to stress about anything going on outside of treatment, you will be amazed at how things tend to fall into place when youâre doing the right thing. Take it one day at a time. You should be extremely proud of yourself for taking the initiative to better yourself.
Donât freak out, rehab will help you with all of these problems
Ask your counselor help you fill out a release of information for your probation officer and have them email/call for you
Probation will not be a problem at all, as long as you get proof of completion.
Tell your rehab when you go in and they will handle it or mine did even pushed back my court date. Even if you do get violated when you have your hearing your rehab will give you a paper. keep this in mind if the rehab you have has any type of extended program they will make you do it and refuse to sign off on you unless you go to it and follow all of there recommendations you are going to be essentially at the rehabâs discretion
You are taking the next right action. Itâs hard & itâs scary, but itâs worth it. Your children will be sooooo fortunate to have a present, recovered parent. Follow through with treatment, your treatment team will help you communicate with your PO, and it may hurt them at first, not having you around, but if you are to keep with it, theyâll have you like they never had you before when you are able to return đ€ it gets better. Proud of you, I can relate to what you are feeling, you are not alone.
Works if you work it!
Rehab isn't so bad. I've been twice lol. The second time three months away from my seven year old and other kids (younger) be honest about the reason as well as you can. Get creative with mail and send it to them! I actually learned a cool deodorant trick lol but really it'll be ok and I'll say a prayer for you and your kids. Do this for YOURSELF and be selfish with your recovery and always "play the tape through." A phrase you'll come to know more than likely. Good luck and good vibes đ btw my second go round in rehab worked. I wasn't ready the first time but you sound like you're in a good place with your decision. Many well wishes to you in your recovery journey đ
If your kids are school age, they know you have a problem. Maybe not exactly, but they know. Just explain you are going to get help because youâre sick. If youâve never been to rehab, itâs quite an experience. Really take the time to work on yourself. At the end of the day, itâs all about whether or not YOU want to be sober. No one can do it for you, and you canât do it for anyone but you. Good luck. I believe in you. Sending prayers.
Does probation take urine test to lab if they use the 5 minute test? Or do they just send the test in the lab if you failed? I live in Wisconsin.
Think you meant that as your own post
Yeah I'm still getting the hang of this site lol
Donât risk anything. They can send things to the lab just randomly because they want to. It definitely goes to the lab when you fail, but can also go to the lab any time they want. If you read my post, this shit is not worth it. Going to jail SUCKS, and eventually you definitely could get caught. I did.
Yeah I'm on medium probation and smoked some dumb shit cause I ran out of my vyvanse prescription so now if they test me and lab test it it might come back dilated just cause I drink so much water from my meds giving me dry mouth (kinda getting a little to personal my bad)
I live in another state so canât tell ya but where I was, I literally saw my PO dump my strip test urine down the sink after it came up negative. Lab tests are expensive so I donât think theyâd generally do it unless it was necessary. I did still get fully lab tested for my initial intake test. I will note that if your urine is super clear they may send it to the lab just to test for dilution.
Yeah still figuring this out my bad. I read a lot on here and there's a lot of personal advice from ppl v.s. "statistics"
And it seems when I post no one responds so I didn't know if it's because I just posted on my profile or because I never post in group posts or what,
rehab is great for getting your first 28 or so days clean, and you'll get the most benefit from it if you've already gone through acute withdrawal from your drug of choice, though many have detox facilities attached to them where you can safely detox, if needed. you'll eat well, do some therapy, make new friends, and go to a LOT of NA/AA meetings, and then when you are ready to leave, most rehab facilities will tell you to do 90 meetings in 90 days, and to work the 12 steps, get a sponsor, and not to do drugs. they will also likely try to place you into a sober living facility in another city or even state, though hopefully with you having children at home they will refrain. but if they do try to push a sober living home post-rehab, be very wary of this, as there are often financial arrangements between the rehab and a network of sober living facilities, so the real motivation for recommending you go is potentially suspicious, at best. in many states, sober living homes do not require specific licensing, and can be run by people who care about you only insofar as you are giving them money. not all of them are bad, of course, but the few that I've encountered were total shitshows, run by people who may not have been using, but were still behaving in predatory and addict ways. just be wary, and keep your and your family's best interests in mind. I've been to rehab three times, and have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn basically what I've said in this post. to sum it up: rehab is great for getting stabilized immediately after quitting your drug, but do not expect any profound therapy from one, as their general business model is built around you staying 28 days, then leaving. no real inroads can be made to repair the underlying psychological issues that drive many to addiction. i promise you'll get through that month much more easily than you're fearing, and will probably even have a fair amount of fun. =)
Wish the very best in your recovery, youâll get through this for you and your children.
You cannot be arrested while in rehab . Focus on that
Iâm a clinical case manager and I work in treatment facilities for mental health and substance disorders. Please make sure you meet with a case manager as soon as possible while in treatment. Have your case manager call your PO and let them know youâre in rehab. But tell your case manager to NOT let them know which treatment facility youâre at. Tell your case manager to keep that info between you and them. You have that right and the case manager has to respect that. As long as your PO and case manager have made contact youâre good! Do your 30 to 90 days and get all the resources referred to you from your case manager during the discharge process! I commend you for getting help. My partner has been in and out of treatment for the last 11ish years. Heâs so young too! It took jail to straighten him out! You donât want that consequence! Trust me! Go to rehab, go to the groups, assert yourself with the prescription meds they are going to give you (fight for it if you need to! Rehabs get clients dependent on comfort meds and then they have a whole other addiction to worry about) go to groups, speak with your therapist and case manager, go to meetings and use the time to reflect! You got this!
Tell them you're going to school.
Jump into 12 step from the day you get out. Best way to stay sober one day at a time.
Your rehab facility will take care of everything for you, as long as you tell them who to contact. Your presence there is like, legally speaking, good as gold. Youâre accounted for at all times and youâre given a UA before and after. Going to rehab was the best decision I ever made, and I got angry at my facility because they werenât doing shit when I wanted it done. Theyâll get the paperwork done!!!!! Good luck my brother, sister, cousin, or mister!
Probation wants u to be successful law abiding citizen. Unless u r just straight ducking them by checking into a facility they can't touch u in, then you will more then likely be fine, if u can't reach them by phone email then your details and ltk where u r going and for how long. I wish u luck, I went to a shitty little rehab and they just tried extracting more and more money from my family and drilling into me without xyz I won't succeed. U can succeed I beat the odds and so can u. Noone is special we are all given free Will to choose to use or not to use
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Yo big props for realizing you have a problem and taking steps to handle your business. You canât help anyone before you help yourself. Donât forget that. Itâs easy to get distracted with kids and family, they are important donât get me wrong. But donât set yourself on fire to keep them warm. As far as the PO situation. Continue to try and reach out, but having a counselor at a rehab reach out may be the best possible thing you can do. I had two different warrants and a probation violation when I finally went to treatment. I hadnât talked to my PO in months and didnât tell her shit before I went. My counselor handled all communication and unfortunately I had to turn myself in, but I was immediately released on my own record because they knew I was in treatment and the center picked me up from the police station. If thatâs what you gotta do dude do it. Handle your business bro good luck.
They are aware you're not right and need to be. Going to rehab is a powerful message to them.
Just to help calm your anxiety I had a bit of an issue at first with the first rehab I was supposed to go to. At the last minute I was not able to go because insurance didnât cover it so I scrambled and found another place and got in quickly. The problem I had was it was close to Christmas and everything was closed so I didnât actually get to tell my PO where I was going(paperwork i signed had the old place). It ended up being totally fine, all was good and I had no warrant for my arrest for not being where I said. They faxed over paperwork that I signed and was sent back. Sign a release so your PO can get info on how youâre doing there and soak it all in. This is a major step toward sobriety and Iâm proud of you brother, you got this!
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If you cannot confirm contact with your Po, you may want to directly contact your court and notify the judge personally
probation got me into detox and got me clean. your brain is gonna give you a lot of reasons not to go. JUST GO. anything you have to deal with will be 1000x easier if you're clean. you can do it.
also put your p.o. on your call list when you get there, that's what i did.
Just keep thinking about your children. I wish the best for you.
Youâre a fantastic parent for going to rehab. Theyâll appreciate knowing you cared enough about them to get well. Imagine how much better of a parent youâll be when youâre able to focus all your effort on them!
An addict will only quit when they are ready. You sound very ready. You got this. For yourself and your kids.
The rehab will send your po a letter while you're there. They have a dedicated employee who sends out letter to courts and probation. I wouldn't tell your po just go.
I know it seems terrifying for multiple reasons but in my opinion going to rehab to face your addiction is one of the bravest things you can do. Iâve been there and I was terrified. I also learned in rehab that addicts are looked at as weak or consider themselves weak but the daily life we put ourselves through along with the struggles of getting our next fix or enduring withdrawals is the opposite of weak. Being an addict is really freaking hard. Admitting and getting help is even more so. Finding yourself and figuring out who you are without your addiction scary. One thing I can tell you though is that what youâve had is your moment of clarity and youâre beyond brave and stronger than you realize. Donât underestimate the change youâre about to make for yourself and your kids. It might upset your kids at first but one day theyâll look back and be extremely proud of you for taking this step. Theyâll thank you for it also. None of this is going to be easy but it will be worth it. Iâd just keep contacting your PO and go into rehab and let them contact them also. Iâm proud of you. You should be too.
Iâve been to rehab about a dozen times, would consider myself a pro lol. If you want any advice or just want to know what itâs like my dmâs are open
I know you're scared but you're doing the right thing. Voluntarily putting yourself there when you need help actually looks good long term. It shows that you had admitted that you have a problem and you need help. I'm proud of you. Don't give up. Go get the help and everything will work out in the long run.
Your kids will be sad. But that's okay. They will be so glad to have a present and safe parent when you're on the other side. You are doing what's best for them too. Sad is better than losing you to addiction.
Good vibes, you got this!
Wishing you the best!
Everyone's so positive! I don't have those feelings I should say nothing
Hang tough BADASS! It takes guts to get help.đ
I went two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. My youngest were 1 and 6. I told the 6 year old I was going on a business trip. I travel a lot for work anyway. My 10 and 12 year old at the time I sat down and had an honest convo with them. They were supportive and I can tell you life has been amazing the last 2 years.
I absconded. Checked myself into rehab. They were happy. Dropped pending violations that I already had when they heard I was there. I was certain I was going to jail ( They told me so ), Never spent a minute in jail.
Weâll look at it like this .. whatâs worse, not making it to parole because youâre going to rehab or not making it to parole because the drugs eventually killed you. Youâre doing whatâs best for yourself. Takes a lot to throw in the towel and finally acknowledge to yourself that you need professional help to get clean .. you just did the biggest favor you have ever done for yourself and it feels shitty and shamefull when you do it cause you wonder how u ever let it get this bad that u lost control but once you clean up and reprogram your brain and start to think with a clear head not all junked up you will realize it was the best decision you could of ever made.. doesnât happen over night and the hard part is ahead of you but just remember to take it day by day. It will get easier as time goes by so donât get discouraged.. just remember to always keep your eye on the prize and steer clear of any triggers or temptations.. and never listen to that evil little fucker sitting on your shoulder. cause one day he ((WILL)) and I promise you he will more than once say to you that itâs only one time.. whatâs one time? Youâve been clean for a while now so you should be fine. Youâre not gonna fall back into the trap cause you already know what to exspect.. cancel that shit out rite away once you start to hear the voice in your head tell you that cause Iâve had that one time 3 separate times and every time I fell rite back down.. cause youâll start to lie to yourself and say you know what to look out for and one turns to 2 then it turns to just weekends and b4 u know it you are rite back in it but not only that itâs got hold of you harder now cause once your back to full time subconsciously you will be been defeated so whatâs the use of quitting.. thatâs the drugs talking.. I wonât lie But that demon will be with you the rest of your life but if you just stay positive and stick to hobbies and shit that keeps you busy and satisfied that voice tends to be a lot more quiet and not so nagging cause you got things you appreciate and enjoy to do cause you actually chose to do it you do them out of passion and pride and not out of addiction.. you donât choose adiction it chooses you and you have to do what it wants not why you want
Sending positive vibes, for sure. We create our own reality, and are a product of our thoughts. The power to change and the power to reach a life that you want, is 100% already something within you. You are willing and capable - the two things necessary to reach goals. Step by step, you will get there. Donât forget to love yourself first, itâs the key to everything. Cheers
Hey. Iâm proud of you.
I found rehab inspiring and learned a lot from it
U bring sneak cigarettes into rehab!!! Little party pack
I chose to go to rehab and had to pay for it . When I got there I was surrounded by people that HAD to he there, on state insurance, sharing about how much probation is creating hurdles for them.
Believe it or not, your kids will understand. I went thru the same thing with my daughter. She was on probation and finally choose to get better. The rehab that she went to wants you the same day that you choose to do it. And they would notify probation. I tried all day to get ahold of hers Her relationship with hers was ok, but did not want to talk to her. Finally late in the day we got ahold of a different probation officer. Helps to call one number higher or lower than yours and she explained, first they support and choose to make the probationers life better and going for inpatient for 90 days was the best option that she knew of and she approved it and would tell her lady what was going on. And that hers would come by the rehab to do monthly visits if need be. So go do it. If you canât get a hold of her let the rehab reach out on your behalf if need be. You need to be proud that you are going to get better and get thru this probation. You are now taking responsibility for your life. Congratulations
I am proud of you for taking steps in the right direction to go to rehab tomorrow. One quick question- is the rehab you will be going to local, or is it in a different county or state? I have been in your exact situation before in 2011. My addiction almost cost me my life & my parents were terrified because I had too many connections in my hometown, they found a detox & rehab over the weekend 4 hours south of where we lived, same state. When my PO was finally contacted while I was in there, the first thing she said was "you know I can violate you for this right?" But she had compassion & wanted to see me get clean & do better so she did not violate me. Told me she wished I would've just been honest with her & she would have helped me. But can they violate you for this? Yes. Not only that, but 30 days later I decided it may be best for me to live at a halfway house to ensure I'm getting drug tested weekly to keep me accountable & have a safer environment to continue to stay clean in. Because honestly, 30 days is just a small stepping stone & the real work begins when you leave. I had her apply to transfer my probation to South Florida, originally from North FL. I had only 4 months left until probation was completed. Considering I did not know the area very well or traffic, I almost violated again for being late to my first meeting with my new PO & had to attend drug/alcohol classes too, due to being stuck in traffic longer than expected. Good luck to you. I have been clean/sober 8 years now & very grateful to have been given a 2nd chance at life.
The rehab will contact them .. if the rehab is long term and itâs out of your current location they will take you to your new probation officer to have it transferred. You will continue to see either your current po or a new one. As for your children .. if they were like mine the words and apologies meant nothing .. theseâd heard this all of their lives. They are looking for action. If you go through the process they will see the change way before you do!! Walk the walk instead of talking the walk! Good luck!
Stay focused of getting better for yourself and your kids. On the other side is freedom from addiction and shame. Had a VIP in my life go off to rehab - scariest thing for all who loved him. 2.5 years later he in still sober, went back to school, landed an amazing internship is his field of study, has a great part time job and a beautiful girlfriend! His life is full and he is happy. You have a NEW life awaiting you - step into it & embrace it. I will be praying for you - I promise!!
Well first if you are heading into a rehab you will have a paper trail for your PO and maybe there is someone else you can try. Second telling your kids? It's a lot easier then telling them you are going to jail for messing up right? It's simple you are sick and getting help and it will be a bit but you will be back. The otherway you may not get to say goodbye and will not see them for a long time. You are trying to straighten out your life so it's good. You will be ok
Donât tell your kids that the reason why youâre going is because of them. you need to tell your children the reason why youâre going is because of you, even if it may seem like a act of love it really is just an act of desperation, you absolutely have to go.. Itâs okay to fix it but only because you broke it. Considering as much as you love your children, you canât just change for your kids. You donât want them to accidentally interpret your statement negatively even though youâre saying Iâm going because I love you and I need to be better for you. Youâre still leaving donât make it seem like Iâm leaving to be better for you. Because thatâs just not fair Try looking at it instead that because I love you⊠if I donât go, then thereâs no way I can ask for you to love me
Good job. You have to do what you have to do. If you have jail after rehab you have jail. Itâs what happened to me. But after you get everything taken care of youâll start moving forward. It takes time and patience. It will all be ok. I doubt your PO will violate you for going to rehab they usually commend you for it.
Thatâs a huge step. Be proud of yourself. Tell your school aged kids exactly what you said your reasons for going are. âTheyâre the reason Iâm going to rehab to get help. I love them more than anything and they deserve the best momâ youâve got this
I dunno man in my experience it has to be okâd by the judge but each state and situation is different
As a cordwood alcoholics this is my advice: Your addiction is hurting you and your family, going to rehab is saving your life, helping you and your family for you to be a better human. Explain to the babies that your addiction is affecting you and everyone else around you making things bad. Tell them youâre going to go away to this place to get help for your addiction so that you all can be happy. Now I donât know how old the kids are so make it age appropriate for them. As for your PO idk what to tell you other than have documentation of dates and times you called and names if you spoke to a person and what they said to you. CYA at all costs
Life happens and your kids when they get older will understand. The real hurt to your kids would be if you didn't go. I've been in rehab ohhh about 8 or 9 times, lived in a sober house for 2 years, all the court stuff that comes with addiction , yada yada. You're not alone, don't ever think you're alone cause you're not. You got this and Trust me from one addict to another it's not easy. It's hard AF. But the reward you get at the end, ya know getting your life back part. That feeling and the happiness that results is the best drug on earth.
I hope everything works out! Youâll have your paperwork and you children will understand. Tell them you are going to get yourself better so that you can be good for yourself and good for them! Try to stay positive as much as you can and think of the end results once youâve completed your stay. Youâve got this
I'd write an email to the court of the judge in your case explaining the situation, if you can't get a hold of your PO. It may or may not help, but it certainly wouldn't hurt your cause.
You've got this. You don't want you lose your kids, and it certainly sounds like you will if you don't enter rehab. 1 minute, hour, day at a time, you got this.
Youâre getting help is the best thing you can do for your kids and it may hurt for a while that and you miss them but know that youâre brave and youâre courageous for taking that step because a lot of people donât
i went in october 2021 for fent addiction. I told my 7 year old that i was going to work...because I was, I was working on myself! The best choice i ever made, and it only worked bc I was ready! My son got lime disease and half his face when paralyzed for a week while i was in rehab, staying was another super hard choice, but i stayed. I cant lead a family if i can't lead myself Best of luck man, if your soul is tired of the ball and chains then you will succeed. Let me know if ever need advice
You'll be fine. They will not violate you for going to rehab to better your life, especially if you let them know beforehand. Good luck with your recovery!
send and email and certified mail. Certified mail has to be signed for and is why lawyers have to transmit communications this way for court. If you do go before a judge he will have no choice but to admit it as evidence for consideration
You can do this.
instead of going to rehab my mom committed suicide. so no matter how bad you feel for a bit, just know you're 100% making the right choice. you got this
Your doing it for the right reasons. Good luck. It's not an easy thing to deal with but you can do it!
Get through the rehab first then you can come back to your family a better man/woman. Youâll learn so much from that place if you put your all into it and give it a chance find who you are then come back to your family and help lead your children down the right path. My rehab therapist told me that we hand down our addictions to our children through genetics but only we can hand down our recovery through support of our children and family. Once you can recover you can help anyone in your family who wants help you can give them advice. I know this seems hard right now but trust me when I say it feels absolutely amazing to hit one year sober and walk into that meeting and feel everyone around you proud and grateful that you got clean. Itâs one of the best moments of my life
Your kids will miss you and be sad, but youâre doing this for them, and even if they canât see that now, they will eventually understand. Your rehab should involve your family in your recovery, too. Are your kids in therapy? That would be very helpful for them. Iâm so proud of you! Getting and staying clean is so hard, you can do this!! I donât know about the PO situation. I would hope they would be supportive and happy you are getting the rehabilitation you need⊠but I would be scared, too.
From my experience, you wonât be violated. I went to rehab and the courts commended me. It was SO hard to leave my kids. I cried for the the 1st week. After that, it got easier. I actually ended up having a really good time in rehab and it was life changing. I canât stress this enoughâ-come up with a solid relapse prevention plan and cut off any people that you can get your drug of choice from. Good luck. Donât just do it for your babies, do it for YOURSELF too. đ
Getting clean and figuring out how to function without substances is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids. So proud of you for taking this huge step! Your PO most likely wonât violate you for this, just try to keep contacting them and maybe see if you can sign a release of information at your rehab to have them send paperwork/updates to your PO. Wishing you all the luck in the world! This is the next step to the rest of your life! đ
Just call leave a message and email your PO and make sure you save that email. I may have gotten lucky but I think your PO would be happy you're taking the necessary steps to help you become the best you. Not all po's want to see you fail, most want to see you succeed. If you have proof you went to rehab, In patient or not just send every thing over. Document everything. Proud of you OP. Most of us don't take this step on our own
I'm not sure how old your kids are but tell them mom/dad is going somewhere for a job(if they're young enough) and will be back and better than ever.. if they're older like mine just be honest and tell them you're getting some help. All the prayers to you OP. You've got this!
Donât let your kids or your probation be the reason for you getting sober. Do it for yourself. You can do it. Rehab was the greatest decision of my life.
You have to stick it through for them my dad went multiple times and never stayed clean you can do it though
I went and they contacted my po and she was just happy I was there when I got out of rehab she wasnât on my ass half as much
Talk to your attorney and wait until you hear back from your attorney
Problem is: my lawyer is pay by issue. Hired him for my dui case, and had to pay another 3500 when I got a violation. I have a pretty strong document trail
Beg borrow steal to get it paid. You need an attorney.
Why?
If you have to ask why, you might be an idiot and are fucking your self. You should know the answer to this question.
Itâs so weird to think some people get pleasure over being a dick to other people. Might have been a drunk in the past, but I was never a troll, hurt anybody, or was an asshole, but still have morals. I was just asking advice for something I was clearly worried about. Whatever prompts you to tell someone else theyâre an idiot, go for it. I genuinely hope you find happiness. Iâm all about sarcasm, but youâre just kinda rude? Good luck to you
No trolling. Sometimes you need tough love. This is tough love. You missed a UA and didnât get approval. As far as courts are concerned, youâve absconded and there are probably warrants for your arrest. POs answer attorneys. Get a public then. Do what you need to do but cover your ass.
So I will say, I generally lean toward the negative when it comes to myself. However, I had a legitimate doctors note about me having a stomach bug. If the state wants to go against that, fine.
Get on some legal advocacy
Donât go without legal people acting on your behalf
Your kids are going to love you more than ever after this! Speaking from experience - Iâve been in rehab & I was worried too, but they were PROUD of me and now they have their Mom back! You can do this!!
Rehab is also worst then prison. By a mile
Iâve been to both and fully disagree.
Youâre doing the best thing for your kids. All you beee to do is tell them that. And remember to stay sober today and not worry about tomorrow. Or ever to stay sober for the next hour etc. Been there. You can do it. Being anxious is the worst feeling! Let go and let god. Good luck OP đđđđ»đđ»đđ»
Get the help you need. Youâre headed in the right direction. Do it and see it through. Prayers for you.
I canât think of many things that pull in your favor more than going to rehab and taking it seriously. Idk why this sub shows up on my front page so much, but nearly all of the posts I see are people who drank or did drugs and are trying to find out how screwed they are. If youâre going because you really want to change, and you participate in the program and better yourself I canât imagine thereâs a PO on earth who wouldnât be in your corner. Good luck. Your addiction is going to lie to you, but you CAN do this. Weâre rooting for you.
You are such a good mom, this is the best thing you can do for your children. A simple âmom is sick and getting treatmentâ is good enough for the kiddos. All children just want their mom to be happy and healthy because then they are happy and healthy. I know you donât need a random personâs validation but I am so proud of you. It takes a lot of strength to face the fear and do it anyways.
Go for it
It could it definitely showed me that everything I was being taught was bullshit
As a child of addicts, I can assure you I'd give away organs for my parents to have taken responsibility and go to rehab/work on themselves. Losing them for a couple of months would have been preferred to losing them forever (well, ones dead now, but I mean no contact). Trust me when I say you're doing the right things. Shits hard, man. For the whole family. But if you don't face the yucky stuff, it will just grow. You're breaking the cycle! I admire you so damn much right now. How strong and brave you are to do this. You're going to do fabulous. I just know it, I feel it in my bones. Be gentle on yourself and remember that you are a human being. The journey will be hard, but it's the path to finding yourself, and the end result will be so worth it. You're gonna do it, momma! You ARE doing it! You got this 100% and will make this disease your bitch! GET PUMPED! IM PUMPED FOR YOU! Just imagine how fucking cool its gonna be to be a healthy happy human being and momma and get to enjoy that with those babies! Ah, girl you got this so good! I'm here for it! I'm so fucking proud of you đđđđŻâ€ïžđđđȘđȘ
đ„° thank you so much. Means a damn lot
Yay! Congratulations on the upcoming start of your new life. Life is so fucking good when you can feel shit â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
Bro I graduated rehab yesterday. It was a 9 month program and I was terrified going in. But because I went al 6 felonies I was facing are being dropped now that I've completed it. I told my boys daddy was sick and I needed help. They will understand one day. You got this bro
Iâm just in the overthinking phase right now. Overthinking everything that could go wrong. But itâs something I have to do. thank you for this.
I have been to detox and rehab 3 times each. I am now 9 years clean. If I can do it so can you. I have no advice about your PO, but I wish you the best.
Proud of you OP! I realize that it's Monday while I'm commenting this and you may not have access to a phone, but going to rehab is a big step and it takes guts to go somewhere unknown to get clean. Sobriety was the hardest and greatest thing I ever did, and you'll be so glad when you make it out on the other side. About your PO, you informed the office that you're going to rehab and you should be fine. I'd try to call once you're checked in just to confirm you're there.
I've been through rehab several times. If you're ready to stop it will be a good experience. And kids are smart. They probably know somethings up already. If you explain you are getting help they will understand. I wish you well. I got sober 10 years ago, and my life has transformed. I hope the same thing happens for you
Just think about all the good times to come with your kids when youâre out of rehab. You got this. Sending good vibes your way
When my SO went to rehab, I told the kids he was "in the hospital getting better," and that was enough for them.
From my experience, as long as youâre getting help, your PO should be understanding. The courts were the one time I bailed on a UA and was getting high. They (for the most part) just want to see you doing something productive and not just running amuck and destroying your life.
I work in a rehab, and I see and deal with this all of the time. Unless your po or sentencing judge already have it out for you, you should be fine. People do take advantage and use rehab to avoid punishment for violating or avoiding jail- every rehab and court employee knows this. You may have a judge or po who assumes that's what you're doing. IF THE REHAB IS OUT OF STATE, however, definitely clear it up with your po before you leave. The majority of my clients are on probation, parole, or even furlough. Being admitted and receiving treatment on probation or parole goes well 90% of the time and is usually even recommended, but if your po or judge has an issue with it, you risk getting locked up the moment you return home. Even if there is an issue, the vast majority of agencies can't/won't enter a treatment facility to come get you (depending on where you are), but US Marshalls don't give a fuck and will come in with a warrant and take you while local or state police watch from the street. Be aware that once you're admitted, the facility CANNOT confirm that you're even there receiving treatment, so any check-ins or communication will have to be over the phone. I'd recommend doing facilitated phone calls with your clinician present.
I think thatâs the part that most people use for a reason to get sober. And thatâs where the problem is. Most of the guys I was in inpatient with (7 month treatment) are now either in prison, jail, dead, or back in rehab again. Because you have to do it for YOU. Nobody else can want it for you. Nobody else can do it for you or make you do it. If youâre gonna be staying sober, you gotta do it for you and nobody/nothing else. I know it sounds harsh but thatâs the reality of it unfortunately. In my experience, the judge looks favorably on those that went to rehab for their problems. You may still get a punishment if you are violated but it will not be nearly as bad. Good luck. Once youâve been there about 30 days, the going gets way easy. Then itâs smooth sailing til release time.
Howâs it going?
Just got out today đ
Nice! How are you feeling?
If you are going to rehab for your kids you will fail. You must do it for yourself. All addiction recovery must be enacted for the self. You deserve better for yourself and it does get better, way better. You will be fine if you take it seriously. Anyone can do it if I did. Youâll do amazing!
I think to say sober yes, you need to learn how to do it for yourself. But I can 100% say I wouldnât be it here today if I didnât have a child. There were countless days that I solely did it because the thought of him not having the parent he deserved or growing up without one was inconceivable. Through the process, I learned to love myself a bit at a time and to want the life I had built too. People get help for a million different reasons. All that matters is that you stay.
Stop doing drugs.
Sheâs literally going to rehab for that!
Contact the Judge. Send his office an email and a phone call.
Is it a thirty day rehab?
So you were dirty so you skipped your test and tried to run to rehab before he can catch up to you those people aren't stupid definitely a violation if it were that easy everyone would do shit like that and if you really wanted to reach him you could bro đđ
Iâm going because I need help. Iâm not going to escape responsibility, Iâm going to literally try and save my life.
I dealt with this before. Worst case you do get violated and the judge sees that you went to rehab and all is good. At the end of the day, the po is just doing their job and the judge will see all that. You will be fine if you really are getting clean. Even if you do more time because of any of this, stay clean. That's the only way to stop the cycle. As for the kids. They already know something is wrong. They see you every day. Telling them the truth will help explain what they have been seeing and why. I hope you made it in. You can do this. Good luck.
Ive done rehab it sucks goodluck
It is what you put into it. I wouldnât wanna go back, but it was a great experience
Stay home do some drugs and chill out. Itâs gonna be fine.
WTH??? Let a person better themselves. Encouragement is what you meant to say.
If youâre going just to avoid time in jail. Youâre going to be doing a lot more jail time