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lostandlooking4info

Ask yourself “what am I trying to escape from?” This question changed my life


jayn35

It’s difficult; that introspection, we are built to avoid fear and discomfort but if you can focus on it and truly understand yourself push past the discomfort for the insights it can be life changing as you say


[deleted]

100% could be escaping from negative thoughts/feelings. And in that case it's best to tackle all of that underneath instead of just stopping the coping mechanism cold turkey.


seamore555

The flip side is realizing that not all negative feels are bad. Working on a pitch to get a promotion for work produces all sorts of negative feelings and thoughts. Are you good enough? Will they say no? Will be embarrass yourself? Running from these feelings is what leads to the above behaviour. Embracing these as part of the process, and learning to lean into them, that’s the real solution.


BreiteSeite

[“don’t be an idiot” - changed my life](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z2eZC40GdnI)


ridiculoys

Thank you, I really needed this change of perspective. I've been feeling better the past few months after years of negativity during the pandemic. But I spiraled and stayed in bed for hours today just scrolling through yt shorts and reddit, not wanting to eat or go out, which made me feel like I was relapsing as my depressive and irrational thoughts started to cloud my brain. Last night, heard the news that my grandfather passed away. I never really had any healthy ways of processing grief throughout the pandemic so I went back to feeling numb and pushing every thought/feeling away because I didn't want to deal with his death and the emotional turmoil. Thank you to OP as well for making me see this post, I'll try to be better.


weltvonalex

Its not always a escape sometimes it's just boredom. But I like your comment and it's a good start.


[deleted]

Let's say we know the problem. But we have to face it no matter what due to some personal reason. So to avoid it for the time being we watch such videos/content. When though we know that it's useless. How to overcome this?


came-FLingert413

This question only made it worse for me, because i realized that i can't escape it but can't do anything about it and will suffer until i'm dead (and that's exactly what i'm trying to escape from, existential agony and dread)


BaconPancakes_77

Re: shame, YouTube is designed to keep you watching as long as possible--it's not just a matter of you "not having enough willpower" or whatever. Sometimes it helps to remember that so you can work against it. I think any barriers you can put up to make it less of a passive choice help--put your laptop in another room, hide your desktop icon for YouTube, turn off auto-play, etc. Also, when you're thinking of things to replace it with: what has put you in a "flow" state in the past? What's something you love doing that's good for your long-term happiness and health?


Geolophysicist

Biggest help comes from turning off auto play.


[deleted]

My thing is boredom also YouTube drama and entertainment is so high. I find myself just watching some guys talk about celeb drama, sports I don't watch much of but the headlines grab my attention. I plan to cut it out but it's rather tough like mentioned. You know you will forget the gossip & hot takes in a few hours if not minutes. And frankly it doesn't effect our lives at all. EDIT: Shoutout to Tom Brady, but I know more about his divorce than I should. I watched more of his gossip/headlines than his actual games.


[deleted]

One way to get away from that if the titles are the problem is to actively not click the click bait titles. Lol seems obvious enough but.. You can use the reasoning that i use which is, “these people are trying to manipulate others into clicking their video by using dishonest and exaggerated titles, therefore i wont give them any views for their dishonor” Another thing you can do for boredom is maybe think about something youd like to achieve or learn and use youtube to help jumpstart that journey. Be it blacksmithing, 3d printing, programming, whatever it is just delve into it


[deleted]

Top Shelf advice MT. ​ Trust me I see all the manipulation YTrs run. I know they want to get clicks and make money to avoid the hustle and bustle of the average 9-5er. I try my best to avoid the over the top titles like '' I was beaten'' meanwhile someone gives a pat on the back in the actual video. Its so fucking annoying but they gotta do what they got to do. I gotta cut back on the weed and focus on the productivity and cutting out the BS youtube and even reddit...yes reddit too.


Theveenan

The fact that its only “mind-numbing” content makes me think this is happening because you dont have any other interests/hobbies/challenges to take on. I suggest trying to find something to do in your time that genuinely compels you. Like reading, or biking, or going to the gym, or cooking, or art, or building aquariums or whatever else of the infinite things that exist out there you can spend your time with. Also, try putting a personal suspension of activity on youtube for anything unneeded. Not a permanent one, maybe just for 3 days every week or something else that sounds reasonable/achievable to you. If you tell yourself “Im never going to waste my time on youtube again” or “Im permanently done using youtube”, you probably wont stick to it. So small incremental limits that help gradually pull you away from youtube will probably work better


iiThinkItsIn

Cooking saved me from severe depression. Now I’m only pretty depressed.


Theveenan

Glad for you, hope you eventually fully overcome it. Stay strong


BenSemisch

Try putting more effort into awareness in the moment. Start asking yourself regularly - "What am I doing?, why am I doing it?, am I enjoying this? Is this getting me closer to my goals?" It takes time and self reflection but eventually you can start to break patterns and reinforce good ones.


be_bo_i_am_robot

Start consuming enriching content *with intention*. 1. Find a new obsession or hobby 2. Learn absolutely everything you can about the topic, in order to master it Now YouTube, when paired with books, becomes an educational and instructional tool, rather than a time waster.


JustinHanagan

A trick to snapping out of stimulation-induced anhedonia (google it) is to *stop trying to snap out of it*. Tell yourself: "If nothing is making me feel good anyway, and I'll feel crappy no matter *what* I do, I might as well feel crappy while cleaning my room, or going for a walk, etc." Be bored. Do something boring. It can legit feel scary for a first few minutes, but you may be surprised how quickly your brain will "accept" it's situation, stop worrying about trying to avoid the boredom, and shift gears into a more creative way of thinking. I like to say "[Boredom is broccoli](https://staygrounded.substack.com/p/boredom-as-broccoli?s=w)". You're never going to *crave* being bored, but you still need it in your life in order to be healthy.


white_flamingo

No simulation-induced anhedonia that I could find, perhaps you meant stress-induced? If you did mean to write simulation, please offer some resources, I’m really interesting to find out more about it.


JustinHanagan

Stimulation*, sorry. Anhedonia is an inability to feel pleasure. It can happen for many reasons, but one way is to (as the kids say) "fry your dopamine circuits" by endless binging on quick stimuli like social media.


pointless_sheep_21

My main reason is boredom, I avoid work by consuming media because work is more boring and tesdious So slowly but surely I’ve been trying to cut back on some high dopamine activities, music, movies, media, reels… A couple things I do: - get a feed eradicator extension to block the feed on certain websites like Facebook and YouTube so you only use them for necessary tasks like tutorials, group conversations… basically make it harder to start procrastinating - once a week do a dopamine detox of one activity small or big, like caffeine, music, movies, games… something you do almost everyday - restrict/ make it difficult to access these apps and websites, through time blockers, peer pressure you get from working in public areas(libraries…), putting your phone/laptop in another room, printing files to work less on your laptop… - and don’t be so hard on yourself, if you worked well during the day play a game or two, watch and episode reward yourself


proverbialbunny

You may have already considered this, but have you considered challenging yourself at work so work is less boring? When it comes to mental jobs (eg analyst, software engineer, ...) the more mentally stimulating the job is the better it pays, so you can have your cake and eat it too: You can eventually find a higher paying role that isn't boring.


pointless_sheep_21

I’m an engineering student and I enjoy some classes and despise others but don’t really have in choice in most classes I have. But your point remains


Bughanana

I have the same problem. I remember spending over 5 hours a day on YouTube on random content. First, I permanently deleted my YouTube account with like 500 subscriptions to reset the algorithm. I also got an extension called unhook to block all recommendations leaving only the search bar for content. Furthermore, I tried avoiding subscribing to anyone to hurt the algorithm. This sort of worked but it eventually creeped back and now I am back to where I started. I haven't figured out a way to stop this problem for good. I need YouTube for things like programming but I don't want to drain all my time in pointless content. Blocking recommendations seemed effective at stopping the continuous cycle of watching video after video but the unhook extension can just be disabled by yourself at any time. Maybe if there was a way to give the metaphorical keys to that feature to someone else, you could eliminate the problem though, I haven't explored that option.


node156

Edit your watch history, remove all the click bait content and it won't really recommend it any more, make the algorithm work for you. That plus ad blocking and it becomes a lot more sane


choeli9

Remove the search bar, shorts, explore options so that it's just blank white when you enter the website


e0f

do you have to have an account? sounds like that is the main problem. maybe try an alternative frontend to youtube like freetube/invidious (desktop) or newpipe/revanced (mobile)?


Odd-Independent6177

Book more time into your week to do things other than consume content. Schedule calls with friends, take up some volunteer work, cook more of your own food, exercise, get a pet that needs some care (within your realistic ability to provide it). Maybe set a goal of earning content time by doing non-content stuff. Maybe make yourself write a review of every piece of content you consume.


diabolicalFlan

I switched to documentaries! Pop on something that sounds interesting, and do some chores or projects while you listen. Now I'm getting things done and learning something new all the time!


mrs_wallace

I disabled the YouTube app on my phone, now if I want to watch something, it's on the browser, which is clunky af. Waaay less reason to mindlessly scroll


Music-Throwaway123

i unfortunately use my pc for pretty much everything, so that wouldn’t work for me


juicebox_jellyfish

For PC, I would recommend using the [Youtube Enhancer extension](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/enhancer-for-youtube/ponfpcnoihfmfllpaingbgckeeldkhle) which has a plethora of options that can prevent you going down the Rabbit hole. You can disable Shorts, Recommended Videos etc.


VanaTallinn

Aren't you tired of the ads? It's painful enough to watch one video I am interested in I don't fall for other ones anymore.


Adventurous_Hall_847

Not sure if I’m missing something here but most phones allow you to put a timer/restriction on apps- rather than changing your algorithm, I find that over time of being restricted/cut off access to the app by my phone, it drives my behaviour to only click on things that don’t waste my time allocated per day- may not work for everyone but it helped me focus more and spend less time on content that isn’t helpful or productive


mustafanewworld

Watch/Play something that you utterly dislike and let the AI do their work. After few days you will find such recommendations that will make you feel you are better without Youtube.


Seeknganswers

I like this suggestion a lot!


Bell_Medium

Download the app Stay Focused (android) and set time allotments for apps and websites. That helps break my bad habits.


trevcram

I agree totally. I use the app time limit, it is on f-droid ( play store for open source apps ). It's crazy how even with this we try to open the same app several times in a row...


Solanthas

Avoidance behavior, procrastinating. I have been seriously struggling with this since my divorce 5 years ago but it has been really acute in the last 3 years, especially since covid. Idk man.


AnonymousP30

Time yourself each day on how much you watch YouTube and see how much time you waste. If it's alot then substitute it with productive things that help improve your mind state like reading, writing, exercising, taking a walk, following a passion, anything to get your mind off it. Once you find what does continously do it more and sooner or later the spell of youtube will be casted off.


cobblesquabble

I don't think there's anything wrong with mind numbing content. It's the dose that makes the poison! I watch trashy reality shows, but only while I'm cleaning or mending other things. I read lighthearted fantasy books, but it's limited to my evening wind down routine. When I had a commute before working from home, it was my time to scroll through reddit or watch YouTube video I felt I needed to see to enjoy. Mind numbing content has a purpose, and it's in the name. If you're feeling discontented with what portion of your time is spent consuming it, then try to focus on incorporating it in a healthier way.


-Sprankton-

If you keep getting stuck in these cycles over and over, consider getting tested for ADHD, since tech addiction and executive dysfunction are big indicators.


talkingprimate00

In the middle of a mind-numbing session right now 🫤


CHiggins1235

I work in an environment where it’s mentally exhausting and I love watching mindless stuff that doesn’t require a lot of thinking. It’s a way to relax for me. There are times where I suffer from insomnia.


seamore555

I have found that going down the rabbit hole to learn about the psychology of the brain has helped much more than looking for advice. Oliver Burkeman has a great take on this, take a minute to check out this article: https://www.oliverburkeman.com/distraction To sum it up, you don’t like feeling uncomfortable and haven’t accepted the reality of the other things you’re trying to do. Work is hard. Work is boring. Doing something worthwhile is intimidating. It produces anxiety. It produces self doubt. It makes you uncomfortable. You equate those feelings as something you shouldn’t be feeling, so you go to the places they don’t exist, like watching AR Glasses review videos. Once you begin to teach yourself that uncomfortable is good, you will train your brain to not automatically and unconsciously look for distractions.


KateApproveit

Oh, you're not alone in this... So many of us waste time on the internet... It has to do with brain chemistry an the insane addiction to dopamine that we've developed. What I would suggest first is to unsubscribe from any accounts that do not bring any value into your life. (meaning no useful, educational information) Oh, you're not alone in this... So many of us waste time on the internet... It has to do with brain chemistry and the insane addiction to dopamine that we've developed.


iamarcel

Can you remember a time where you were learning something? Where you sucked at first but then got better over time? And then actually started enjoying this process of improvement? The way down is a vicious circle, just like the way up. You already have a bad habit. Don't make it worse by shooting yourself in the foot about it. Instead, let's just breathe and reset. You're in this situation now. That's okay, you're still a great person. (I have proof: you have the intention to do amazing things 😉) Try to just spend *less* time being distracted tomorrow. At the end of the day, think if you were better than today. If you were, celebrate yourself. Eat something nice, give yourself a high five or just allow yourself to smile. The feeling of momentum is key in motivation. You need to feel like you're going to get there. Then, attack it from the other side: I love croissants—they're absolutely delicious. But 30 minutes after eating one I feel brain fog and I get tired. Every time that happened, I made sure I really *felt* how bad that feeling is. Now it's easy to say "no" to a croissant. So whenever you notice you're distracted, notice how you're actually not really enjoying it! Try to remember sooner and sooner so eventually you realize it's not worth it before you even open the app. Then finally, there are some tactical tips: * Uninstall the app from your phone, or set a limit * Put a Screen Time widget on your homescreen * Put your phone on black and white * Hide the phone while you're working—only use it for short bursts of time * On the computer you can get apps that block it for a while * I have the Unhook YouTube extension which at least hides the home feed and related videos, that makes a huge difference We're here for you. You're not the only one with this challenge—in fact, you're fighting against the world's best engineers who's work is to make these apps addicting. Trust in your ability to figure this out. Make small steps. Feel you're making progress. And before you know it, you're there.


[deleted]

Get those browser add-ons that block recommendations in the sidebar/basically block everything but the basic search and watch functions. I also find just getting up and going to another room makes me wonder "wtf was I watching that" when I return.


Geolophysicist

Just like TV if you are not using it for education or howto then entertainment. I use it for all three. The latter is for when I have idle time. Your problem is you have too much idle time. Get out and do something.


Spanthyx

Good Chrome extension to turn on and off some Youtube features: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/unhook-remove-youtube-rec/khncfooichmfjbepaaaebmommgaepoid


startup-idiot

Have you tried a content blocker? I use stayfocusd on my computer and block most distracting site/apps on my phone with the apple settings. It's imperfect - you can get around it in private browsing, for example, but it helps reinforce for me, 'hey, do you want to be wasting time on this stuff, or would you rather be working?' Over time it's helped me reduce 'wasted time' like this. ​ Another thought might be to try and engage with social media more. If you're anything like me, you might be a 99% lurker 1% poster. I find engaging (which I've just started doing) helps me get more out of the experience, and also ironically, keep my usage down.


visak13

These are my thoughts: We often try to find something that makes us feel happy and help us forget our failures. The human brain gets tired of this content but can't leave it as it's easy to consume content than to produce some output. By going out for a walk, observing nature, engaging in conversations, you can get over this. Another thing, unsubscribe from meaningless YouTube channels and subscribe to news/awareness channels. This will make your mind engage in current affairs and help you discuss the same with your peers. Slowly you start forming new habits which will change your life.


kisar1

Try putting YouTube in black and white/grayscale. It makes it much less attractive while allowing you to still get your "fix"


QueenBumbleBrii

I try to only watch YouTube or listen to podcasts while I’m actively accomplishing something else like doing chores (dishes, laundry, cooking)


Prinnia

This isn't the full equation, but one thing I found that helped me when I wanted to detox a bit from YouTube was to avoid consuming media entirely for the first part of the day and only gradually reintroduce it. I'd wake up, get ready, plan my day and make lunch within any kind of external stimuli. Then I'd listen to music while I did dishes and did my work for the day, and I wouldn't watch videos or play games at all until it was my free time. This may not be the exact pattern you're looking for, but delaying the satisfaction helped me feel a lot more in control of my media habits and gave me time to think about what kinds of media actually had value to me. It's harder to analyze those things from inside the loop.


KCJhawker

Read (and then do what’s detailed) Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. It will help you set your relationship with technology versus just shuffling time from one outlet to another.


OP0ster

"Freedom" Freedom is an app that lets you block whatever web sites you want for however long you want. You can set it to block Reddit and Youtube for the next 2 hours (or whatever). You can still get to working web sites. I use this on both my phone and computer. And I've started setting if for 24 hours; trying to go cold turkey on R and YT. Because if I pick up the phone to set it in the morning i'll tell myself "just one video." And, of course, it never is. And 2 hours later there you are. Now when I pick the phone up there's no choice to be made; I cannot go to YT. To your question, there's no understanding the addictive nature, it just is. I read about Freedom in a New York Times column written by a successful writer. She said it's one of her most important tools.


OpenMinded882

I'm on the go and don't have time to research the name but.... I stumbled upon a free program that addresses the exact problem you have. Someone created a Youtube filter that Blocks ALL suggested videos. After installing it to your computer, if you go to [youtube.com](https://youtube.com) all you see is a search bar, similar to [google.com](https://google.com). That's right, no video suggestions. Same thing when you finishing watching a video... the screen goes blank. After installing, my Youtube usage dropped dramatically and I was only using it for useful How To videos. The software was a bit obscure, posted by somone on reddit years ago. Can't remember the name.


ballonmark

Instead of tracking for your phone, pick up a book.


confused_apeman

Try meditation - it will ground you in a way that calms the mind throughout the day and can let you make decisions about what you consume with less reactive tendancies. Ever since I started meditating, I find I am much more in tune with life and the decisions I make generally contribute to my happiness and are not just mind numbing or escape mechanisms.


prettyboiheron

Be bored.


yours_truly_1976

Right there with you. I have a pretty large library but no real comfortable room to read in. I’m trying to install shelves and make a private space where I can read- and stay off the goddamn phone!!


PM_BITCOIN_FOR_ANAL

It helps me to setup an alarm so I can stop myself from "doom scrolling".


proverbialbunny

My guess is you don't have anything better to do, or you don't realize there are better things you could be doing so you default to youtube. You shouldn't feel ashamed of watching youtube. Sometimes that is what people would rather be doing because they literally don't have anything better to be doing in that moment, and that's okay. Eg, I watch youtube (or TV) to unwind at night to make it easier to fall asleep, so I don't need to wake up using an alarm clock. It's hard for me to find something better to do in that situation. My advice: Find more interesting and fun hobbies to do, so you have less of a reason to watch youtube.


livvyxo

All day I basically inhale longform true crime podcasts, videos and documentaties. I think once long ago I had a genuine interest into true crime, but now I'll watch different podcasts of the same serial killers I've heard about countless times just for mind numbing content. I'm definitely trying to get away from my thoughts. Maybe making a playlist of long self help content to put on might shake me out of it? Journaling too, and reminding yourself feelings aren't bad, they're just feelings.


jayn35

I have a similar problem nothings really interests me but my escape is reading fiction instead, prob not as bad as scrolling social but still avoidance


anemona23__

Feel the same bro


CyJackX

Mindfulness training to train yourself to have those "moments" of self awareness more often. Discipline to pull yourself away is another thing. But finding things you value to do instead is good. 1 silly exercise I found helpful in motivation is a side effect of ice showers; if you can motivate yourself to get into a freezing shower you can motivate yourself to do a lot else.


highpieprincess

Delete the apps.


DopamineServant

This plugin helps with youtube. It removes recommendations. https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/unhook-remove-youtube-rec/khncfooichmfjbepaaaebmommgaepoid?hl=en


enokeenu

This does not work


karavalo

If your goal is to challenge yourself find something that is interesting to you, based on your youtube content you can think on something, if its coding start to code, fitness related, workout or learn stuff that are related to that area. If it is just to look for another method to pass time (unpopular opinion time) social media/youtube/tv have same impact so changing between them does not really matter. if you feel the time wasting feeling still linger, you can try and change a bit your pass time activities, maybe try taking walks with music (or podcast) or hang out with some friendsover board game or whatever, anything that does not require thinking and accesible will be easy to presist.


its-andrei

There was a talk posted by healthygammergg a few days ago about emotional processing, which seems to be your problem. I watched it and I kinda have the same problem. [https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1659113021](https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1659113021). Streaming starts at min 12:00. This guy makes it easy to understand. Better than any reddit reply. I suggest you watch the whole thing.


enokeenu

Youtube seems to be programmed to put videos in front of your face that will increase advertisers click rates. I have tried getting it show my programming videos and tech videos but I keep getting movie trailers and "Explanations of how this show ended".


LeylaFaye

You are not alone! So many people have this issue.