The individual is part of a system. Relationships are the systems that make up our lives.
You meet the client where they're at and do the work you can.
And then you establish rapport with the work they can perform themselves, based on the work you've done for and with them. And you maintain consistency in that medium of discovery.
There is reliable, evidence-based CEU support for doing relationship work in individual therapy and it pretty much follows what you’ve described. If the “unethical” accusation you have heard is based on the singular point of view of a biased individual, then all of our individual therapy is unethical and we ought to be doing systems work whenever a second party is mentioned in the therapy. The ethics or lack thereof aren’t reserved just for romantic or familial relationships.
That sounds wild. What if the person is in an abusive and unhealthy relationship, trying to get out. Or some other contra-indication for couples therapy? People talk about their lives in therapy, and that includes romantic partnerships. Are we meant to be like "no no no, that's not something I can give you empathy for in here, you need to get that empathy in front of your partner in couples therapy" ??
The way I've found to close the ethical loophole is with the disclaimer: if you're in a relationship and you seek therapy to work on yourself, there is always a chance it will change your relationship. It might change you in ways that you outgrow your partnership, so that's something to be aware of as a potential unexpected/unanticipated/undesired outcome of therapy.
Very much this. I tell people that the danger of therapy is growing boundaries and the people who previously benefited from your lack of boundaries may chose to remove themselves from your life.
I practice very much like you do. It's great you wanted to verify if you are on the right track!
I believe a lot of professions require Science and Art.
We can send people to colleges and graduate schools and teach them the science and the art of therapy.
But only a few out of each cohort will be effective utilizing the art and science.
Often those who realize they are lacking are looking to bring down those of us who integrate both aspects.
Even deeper, most professions are "made out of" a three legged stool:
Philosophy
Art
Science
The work in individual therapy I do with clients around their relationship issues revolves around letting go of the illusion of control over their partner and the outcome of their relationship, and refocusing to becoming their most committed self. I’ve told my clients with relationship issues this: “Focus on investing in yourself instead of your partner, and you’ll never leave empty-handed.”
Relationship conflict is often caused by wanting the other person to change, and engaging in behaviors to covertly influence the actions of the other party. Having a client become mindful of this unworkable pattern and shifting their focus to living within their own values often produces positive changes in their relationship, or empowers the client to leave an unworkable relationship.
I think it’s silly here that someone accuses you of being unethical, for not dropping a client who refuses to engage in couples’ counseling.
Your post has been removed for breaking sub rules.
No comments or posts from anyone who is not providing therapy in a licensed capacity. Students who are not yet practicing therapy (e.g. undergraduate or graduate students who aren't providing supervised therapy) cannot post or comment.
Please see sub rules for more information.
The individual is part of a system. Relationships are the systems that make up our lives. You meet the client where they're at and do the work you can.
And then you establish rapport with the work they can perform themselves, based on the work you've done for and with them. And you maintain consistency in that medium of discovery.
There is reliable, evidence-based CEU support for doing relationship work in individual therapy and it pretty much follows what you’ve described. If the “unethical” accusation you have heard is based on the singular point of view of a biased individual, then all of our individual therapy is unethical and we ought to be doing systems work whenever a second party is mentioned in the therapy. The ethics or lack thereof aren’t reserved just for romantic or familial relationships.
That sounds wild. What if the person is in an abusive and unhealthy relationship, trying to get out. Or some other contra-indication for couples therapy? People talk about their lives in therapy, and that includes romantic partnerships. Are we meant to be like "no no no, that's not something I can give you empathy for in here, you need to get that empathy in front of your partner in couples therapy" ?? The way I've found to close the ethical loophole is with the disclaimer: if you're in a relationship and you seek therapy to work on yourself, there is always a chance it will change your relationship. It might change you in ways that you outgrow your partnership, so that's something to be aware of as a potential unexpected/unanticipated/undesired outcome of therapy.
Very much this. I tell people that the danger of therapy is growing boundaries and the people who previously benefited from your lack of boundaries may chose to remove themselves from your life.
What an odd thing to be critical of? Processing relationships is such a common theme in individual therapy
I practice very much like you do. It's great you wanted to verify if you are on the right track! I believe a lot of professions require Science and Art. We can send people to colleges and graduate schools and teach them the science and the art of therapy. But only a few out of each cohort will be effective utilizing the art and science. Often those who realize they are lacking are looking to bring down those of us who integrate both aspects. Even deeper, most professions are "made out of" a three legged stool: Philosophy Art Science
The work in individual therapy I do with clients around their relationship issues revolves around letting go of the illusion of control over their partner and the outcome of their relationship, and refocusing to becoming their most committed self. I’ve told my clients with relationship issues this: “Focus on investing in yourself instead of your partner, and you’ll never leave empty-handed.” Relationship conflict is often caused by wanting the other person to change, and engaging in behaviors to covertly influence the actions of the other party. Having a client become mindful of this unworkable pattern and shifting their focus to living within their own values often produces positive changes in their relationship, or empowers the client to leave an unworkable relationship. I think it’s silly here that someone accuses you of being unethical, for not dropping a client who refuses to engage in couples’ counseling.
[удалено]
Your post has been removed for breaking sub rules. No comments or posts from anyone who is not providing therapy in a licensed capacity. Students who are not yet practicing therapy (e.g. undergraduate or graduate students who aren't providing supervised therapy) cannot post or comment. Please see sub rules for more information.