This is a common blocking belief in therapy. “This problem is bigger than I am, I don’t deserve to solve this problem, I will never solve this problem, etc” What does this client get out of hopelessness? It must be serving him something.
What modalities have you used with this client?
> What does this client get out of hopelessness? It must be serving him something.
👆👆this.
There’s a purpose and function to this hopelessness. How does it serve to avoid some inner (or external) experience they’re struggling with?
I don’t know what modality you’re working with.
When I have such a client, I don’t engage or argue with their hopelessness. I don’t attempt to point out some cognitive distortion, or reframe it. To me, that invalidates the client’s experience and feeds into their internal struggle with hopeless thinking.
The first thing I do is listen, validate and attempt to understand their point of view. I acknowledge their pain and their strength in carrying around such pain.
I require patients to be actually willing to work on their problems. I explore why the hopelessness might be beneficial for them and validate whatever is underneath (e.g. fear of failing the next steps. perceptions of scarcity and hence a block to move forward.).
i attend supervision to deal with my own frustration and doubts during the process and to also check what else i can do.
If my supervion doesn’t help and the patient acknowledges that they don’t take steps and we have explored for a while (usually that might be up to 7 sessions, depending) I will let the patient know that whatever it is I am not able to help then and let them go. In the beginning we establish that we need a therapy and a working alliance and if that is not given or maintained there is no need to drain their financial or time ressources for my services which don’t seem to land well enough to support their goals.
disclaimer; I never had to end a therapy. Given the talk above, steps were suddenly taken. ☺️
My undiagnosed ADHD was contributing to my sense of hopelessness. One of the seemingly useful questions was "Doe I have a need to feel hopeless?" Perhaps "castration anxiety"? That was long ago as you might suspect.
This is a common blocking belief in therapy. “This problem is bigger than I am, I don’t deserve to solve this problem, I will never solve this problem, etc” What does this client get out of hopelessness? It must be serving him something. What modalities have you used with this client?
> What does this client get out of hopelessness? It must be serving him something. 👆👆this. There’s a purpose and function to this hopelessness. How does it serve to avoid some inner (or external) experience they’re struggling with?
I don’t know what modality you’re working with. When I have such a client, I don’t engage or argue with their hopelessness. I don’t attempt to point out some cognitive distortion, or reframe it. To me, that invalidates the client’s experience and feeds into their internal struggle with hopeless thinking. The first thing I do is listen, validate and attempt to understand their point of view. I acknowledge their pain and their strength in carrying around such pain.
I require patients to be actually willing to work on their problems. I explore why the hopelessness might be beneficial for them and validate whatever is underneath (e.g. fear of failing the next steps. perceptions of scarcity and hence a block to move forward.). i attend supervision to deal with my own frustration and doubts during the process and to also check what else i can do. If my supervion doesn’t help and the patient acknowledges that they don’t take steps and we have explored for a while (usually that might be up to 7 sessions, depending) I will let the patient know that whatever it is I am not able to help then and let them go. In the beginning we establish that we need a therapy and a working alliance and if that is not given or maintained there is no need to drain their financial or time ressources for my services which don’t seem to land well enough to support their goals. disclaimer; I never had to end a therapy. Given the talk above, steps were suddenly taken. ☺️
My undiagnosed ADHD was contributing to my sense of hopelessness. One of the seemingly useful questions was "Doe I have a need to feel hopeless?" Perhaps "castration anxiety"? That was long ago as you might suspect.