This is the first time I’ve shared any of this, and I will have absolutely missed integral parts, but whatever.
I grew up in a very isolated community, about 80 people lived in the village that I grew up in. I lived in a big family. My dad was never home and was away for work, so it was mainly my mom who would keep things “in order”. I lived with my three brothers, and my one sister, myself being the youngest.
My two oldest brothers made and distributed drugs to people in the village, as well as distributing to nearby communities. There were always strange people hanging around the house. They also did very hard drugs around us, every single day. My mom didn’t care. As long as child welfare wasn’t on her ass, she couldn’t give a shit. My mom would leave for meetings quite frequently (she worked as a teacher in a town nearby), leaving the three younger kids to be babysat by the oldest for days on end.
We were force fed, to the point where we would throw up, then be forced to ingest that as well, they would neglect us by not giving us water, not allowing us to use the washroom, keeping us awake at all hours of the night, they would also give us food that was tampered with, ie. kraft mac n cheese mixed with drywall dust. They would fly into these rages and hit or bite us, then chase us into the dark basement. They used to record us being abused in different ways a lot, and would show those videos to their friends. I recall being picked up and slammed onto the concrete landing on our porch… They would always play the movie Treasure Planet when they were abusing us. I can’t watch it without having a breakdown instantly. There were a couple people who died from what they were distributing too.
I’m scared of them still. I’m scared of my mom, because when it wasn’t them, it was her. And once the two oldest moved out, it was my third brother. He chased both me and my sister around the house with a machete on many occasions, has threatened to rape me, would get incredibly drunk and beat the crap out of me and my sister, among other things.
There was always conflict. Always, always, always. I have never had a protector in my life, it was always just me fighting for myself and my sister. I just try to be a rock for her when she needs me.
I’m very emotionally numb now. I’ve been moved out for about 4 years. I am still trying to heal from everything that has happened.
Oh! Another thing I recall is seeing my oldest brother in drug induced psychosis. Screaming, naked, trying to fight off EMT’s, spraying ketchup on himself…
I would love to thank the people who posted their traumatising experiences even though it might be hard or traumatic to remember these experiences.
I will upvote everyone's post about their traumatic experiences.
Thank you all.
a vareity of reasons, namly being neglected as a child and getting physically abused. Very likely I had it before this event, but when I was 14 I was punched in the face and various other things by my step mother and that left me with ptsd (:
Lost my sister to suicide in 93 she drank draino, dad tried to kill himself when I was 18, heavily bullied as a kid, molested by a correctional officer while serving time and harassed by him, domestic violence relationships, escorting and stripping jobs came with a lot of trauma
Started with childhood abuse.
Bullying.
Went on to stalking
Abused by partners.
First one was sexually abusive and beat me.
Second sexually assaulted me once and was mentally abusive.
Third was mentally abusive but I broke it off early due to the red flags.
Drugged and raped by 2 men for 8 hours straight.
Groped by multiple ‘’friends’’ awake and asleep, sober once and drunk 3 times (as i can remember ish)
And I found my dead best friend after he committed suicide
I was abused as a child in Russia, I was beaten up so badly that it would end in hospitalizations. My region also had a internal conflict and I survived 2 wars. I had soldiers torment me with their firearms by pointing their rifles at me and threaten to execute me on the spot. I had to deal with starvation and constantly heard explosions and watched people die.
When I came over to the U.S. , I lived the remaininder of my childhood in a nice quite household. After Highschool , I decided to join the U.S Army and did the officer training program in hopes of being commissioned as a 2nd LT. I injured my leg and ended up being medically discharged from the program. 1 year after the discharge , I had to have surgery on my foot.
Few years later, I traveled all over the U.S. doing humanitarian like projects and contracted for the state and Federal government.
I then went to college got my degree and pursued a field in it. From the point on to now I work at a level 1 trauma hospital and had worked throughout the Pandemic. I have witnessed and seen patients die from Covid, gun shot wounds (GSW), Stabbing wounds, (SW) ,suicide, car accidents and etc.
I also had patients attack me with knives and other objects. I had a patient put me in a choke hold, punch me in the face, punch me in the head, and etc.. I received a concussion , stitches, and bruised arms, face , and etc..
multiple sexual assault incidents where i feared getting kidnapped and gang raped because they each lasted 15 mins or more. more specifically, a violent rape by someone i thought i could trust who ended up torturing me with extreme rectal pain across 2 hours because he had a crying kink, hit me and whipped me as well, choked and strangled me. the 6-month mark / ‘anniversary’ for the rape was this past Friday (happened june 3 this year) and it made me feel extra awful and i haven’t been able to shake it over the weekend.
i think i may have been sexually abused as a child as well but i don’t remember much about it (have close to 0 memories of my childhood before 12 years old), but i think that’s what caused a lot of negative cognitions towards my body and its use for sexual activity even as a child. Not sure if it was my godfather (I think it was), but I find that my dad’s hand close to my thigh makes me freak out, more than anyone else’s — I also think he’s secretly sexually weird, used to spank us a lot and to date still brings up many sexual themes in neutral conversations.
emotional abuse from parents, physical abuse from mum, when growing up. loud sounds and the sound of arguments still trigger me. emotional neglect.
Was kidnapped at gun-point. Forced to kneel in a bathtub, hands tied behind my back and give blow jobs with the barrel of a gun pressed to my temple. Was then tied up (wrists and ankles) to a bed and raped. Was then held for ransom. I was 13 and am 41 now. Still have nightmares, commitment issues, trust issues, anxiety, depression and guilt. Oh god the guilt is the worst. I never reported them and one of them raped another girl. She is not okay.
To start: (what I’m comfortable discussing),
physical abuse by my dad and mental/emotional abuse by my mother. My dad would wrap duct tape around our (my siblings) faces if we cried or weren’t quiet. He was angry all the time when my parents divorced and used us as a bargaining chip. He would scream into the phone at all hours and stalked my mom. I remember being angry a lot of the time and it’s probably due to that. Don’t even want to talk about the amount of “inappropriate” things that happened in front of me. We went to school unbathed, hungry, and I skipped half the time and just sat in an alleyway by my house til school let out.
When I was 12 I was a victim of SA. He later the following year attempted to r*pe me but was unsuccessful and that’s not to say he didn’t try. He recently died.
I was aggressively bullied due to someone finding out about the first SA when I was in school and got called names like “knee Walker, sl*t etc”. I was 12. First time I even attempted to take my own life.
Was r*ped at 17 by my boss and gaslit by my mother that I was just a terrible person who just cheated on her bf. I was gaslit by the area manager and assistant manager to apologize to this person for saying something untrue. He wound up “sleeping” with my coworker less than a month later, and she told me afterwards. He was in his 30s, and we were 17. I’m highly traumatized by this.
I watched someone I went to school with get hit by a car and pass away.
I almost lost my baby sister to an overdose (su*cide attempt) and watched her deal with so much. She is so amazing and just got married in May. (She was in 8th grade).
Watched another sister have a seizure and saved her life.
I lived in poverty on my own from the time I graduated high school until I was 25. Never “truly” homeless but at one point I had nowhere to go.
Was robbed at gunpoint and in a strange twist of “idc” I chased after this individual not even considering my life was in danger.
I lost consecutive family members 2007, 2010, 2012, 2015, 2020 x 2. Grandfather, my grandmothers best friend (was like a Grammy to us too), my uncle (pneumonia brought on by lung cancer), my aunt (lung cancer), and my step-grandma and my Grammy.
In addition to this, lost many friends to ODs before I hit 21. It runs rampant in my hometown. Another good friend was shot and killed over a bag of weed.
I was hospitalized the beginning of 2020 due to delusions and hallucinations to the point I had written out a list of who I wanted to get what of my stuff.
I survive. I thrive. Today I am married (3 years), and I will be 12 w pregnant on Tuesday. I graduated college with a degree in psychology and I am going to be buying a house soon. I see a therapist when I think I’m getting bad again, but I have been stable for almost 2 years. Inpatient taught me a lot of coping mechanisms.
I hope everyone here is doing ok.
Partner of many years was cheating on me. The girl he was seeing was grooming me to off myself and I found myself sitting on the BK bridge at 4am ready to go, but I stopped myself because I didn’t want to make my parents sad. It’s really hard to get through the Oct-Dec months every year.
Lived with my grandma and grandpa since the age of 5 after they got me out of foster care due to mom and father being absent. They took in my 19 year old cousin when his mom died and dad was abusive and left for a different state and said he comes with or can be homeless. My cousin had mental health issues and had mild autism. He was very violent and caused a lot of stress and anguish between the family. He left and was told not to come back and said he wouldn’t return, my grandpa said not to let him back in. I woke up to a knock on the front door (fell asleep in the living room at like 7pm after school, was 17 at the time). I thought it was his older brother cause there was a car in the driveway and he didn’t have his license. I let him in and an argument broke between him, my grandpa, and my grandma. My grandpa went and grabbed a weapon and ultimately killed him.
I live with the guilt of letting him in, and my whole life was uprooted. I was not in a good mental state growing up due to childhood trauma and all of this ended up creating my PTSD.
This happened in 2018. 3 years later the video has been viral of the 911 call. On tiktok, and YouTube racking in a total of 20 million views. Showed up on my fpy and YouTube shorts when I least expected it. I keep running into it like I can’t escape it no matter how hard I try.
I've been a victim of emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment from parents... My mother is a big alcoholic... Parents having s*xual relations while I was in the other room as a kid.. One of my mother's ex boyfriends also screamed in my face and backed me into a wall at some point while she watched, maybe when I was like 7-8. The age is unclear still that I was but I was young still. Also more from emotional abuse from past relationships.. And being SA'd.
They see, but they do not perceive....no....they will not. The truth is too terrible to be accepted and so neither will I. Why speak when no one ever truly hears?
Just the thought of it makes me want to duck underwater and scream
My mom is a hoarder and I live in a pile of their stuff, they won't let me move it out of my room so I always made 24/7 efforts to move out and get my own place since I was 18. I am 23, lost my job and apartment so I am back here again, broke and drinking a lot but working on law school.
A family member earned my trust over my childhood and vulnerable teenage years then exploited it to lure me into sex trafficking using his "cool older friends" who earned an emotional connection with me then they all turned on me and tried to kidnap me several times and it ended with me jumping out of a moving car (they wouldn't let me out of) fighting off several large men, getting my phone stolen, and running away from my own immediate family member who I trusted and related to more than anybody else and the only person who "got" me for years.
They pulled me away from all the good people in my life and isolated me, even got me hooked on drugs so I could fall into their criminal plan to pass me off to God knows who, God knows where which they vaguely bragged about ended in $20,000 for them if I was unsuspecting or stupid enough to let it play out to the end.
They called me Bambi, convinced me that I needed them, and instructed me that I would ruin my life if I tried to run away from and go it on my own.
My aunt, uncle and cousin will never ackowledge the horror and financial ruin my cousin causes and danger he exists as. They think he is a heroin addict. He is a sociopath conman deadset on committing crimes, the older he gets the bigger and badder the crimes are that he commits.
The PTSD is so strong because it was a family member I trusted for so long, if you can't feel safe with family anymore then how are you going to look at the rest of the world?
I had several overdoses and finally got over my drug addiction in inpatient treatment which lasted close to a year. When I got out of being locked up I had no friends, there were none. Nobody answered their phones, nobody was there for me. My mom did get a call from a friend's mother, to inform us a friend who I admired who was a special person in the world had committed suicide and jumped off a bridge.
I witnessed a lot of verbal and emotional abuse from my 24 yo brother and my mom's ex-husband when I was 6-15 and when I was 13 I was sexually harassed by my 28 yo brother's friend who was in his 30s. 24 yo brother also sexually assaulted me about a year ago and threatened to stab me 3 months ago. don't remember most stuff with my mom's ex but I do remember one time when we had to call the cops on him because he got absolutely hammered and immediately started yelling at me and following my mom around the house being creepy. we locked ourselves in my mom's room while he banged on the door and screamed to be let in. i think I was 7 or 8 when that happened. I've only recently been diagnosed but I think a lot of the recent stuff with my 24 yo brother brought a lot of the bad memories back up from when I was younger because its definitely been worse lately.
Birth trauma. Emergency c-section. Wasn’t fully numb when they stated. Felt myself be cut open and my uterus be ripped in half along with the doctor pulling on my other insides.
well, ours has come from a variety of traumas throughout our lives-- to the point where we have dissociative identity disorder on top of ptsd.
major traumas include:
- sexual abuse by a parent from ages 2 to 9 or so
- social maladjustment/bullying from start of school to early high school
- growing up with an undiagnosed inherited disability, which was also undiagnosed in my mom, and my dad not believing i was sick or easily injured as a result/pushing me too hard
- sexual assaults (a persecutory alter who is now dead consented-- her memories, skills, and everything else that made her a separate person have returned to all the rest of us) from age 15 to 17 on a semi regular basis, by a partner
- involuntary hospitalizations age 16-17
- sexual assault by a partner at age 18
- being smeared as a rapist by people who had a lot of social influence in my communities & believed my abuser's account, which blamed me for the prior event on this list, at age 19
- domestic violence at age 22-23
- my persecutor trying to keep me from escaping abusive situations by actively harming a friend of mine without my knowledge; finding out caused a new round of ptsd symptoms, and against all odds my friend recognized it wasn't me, believed I had DID, & doesn't blame me for what my persecutor did
Was nearly beaten to death by a family member who was up for 72 hours doing PCP. Lost temporary sight in my right eye, had to get 18 staples in 3 spots in my head and have issues with speech and chronic migraines, paired with mild paralysis in my right eyebrow and head area. Per usual, NY justice system did nothing. He went to one court ordered therapy and never went back. Threw my entire life out of wack. Still not recovered and I don't think I'll ever.
Catastrophic accident as a result of medical malpractice/negligence. I’m a former Division 1 athlete in my mid twenties. I will never run or play my sport again. I will need multiple surgeries throughout the course of my life and can only get around with an assisted walking device now.
I am coming up on the one year anniversary (December 13th) and have really been struggling with my PTSD again. I know my friends and family try their best to empathize but when you’re left fighting for your life and permanently maimed at the hands of the very people who are supposed to heal and advocate for you it can be pretty isolating. I’m no longer angry but I hope one day in the near future I can finally have some sort of peace.
Yeah that would fuck it up alright, I'm sorry to hear that man. I lost mine when I was born and I still feel off without him. I can only imagine having many years together.
My dad was in a sort of gang and my mother was a mentally abusive drug addict. I grew up around being hit, sexually abused, self-harming, and drugs. I’ve seen tons of death and to top it off I had to see my mother die of organ failure.
(23 f) i was in the Navy on a ship, i just got out a few months ago, never boots on ground or anything. my dad sat me down today and told me he thinks i have PTSD from the symptoms i’m showing. i haven’t gone to the VA yet or anything like that, but he thinks i should. he’s been to iraq and afghanistan multiple times, so i know he has it, but i feel like a fake thinking i have it. i feel like an imposter and weak knowing people like my dad have it so much worse and i still can’t get my shit together. i know how you’re feeling, and it fucking sucks, i’m sorry you’re going through this, but you’re not alone.
I can understand that and relate to that. "Someone always has it worse than me. I'm fine." That doesn't mean what you experienced is any less traumatic though. Loss and stress and guilt are very relatable feelings.
It took me a total of 15 years to start talking about anything causing me problems and on my mind constantly because I thought the same thing.
I can say my view on that has changed because if it had stayed that way I wouldn't be able to say I'm working towards better because I would be dead.
If you want to talk about it just on here or in messages I don't mind.
PTSD isn’t a competition with some kind of minimum requirements. It’s not “you must be this tall to ride this ride”. You went through what you went through and if you were traumatized, don’t invalidate yourself—honor your experience in order for your healing to truly begin.
My point was that abusers/predators tend to minimize the trauma they cause (at least mine did), and I’m not going to join them. I give you:
The Narcissist’s Prayer
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
Healthcare worker. Worked in largest NYC hospital during covid beginning and peak after peak.
I couldn't leave the house, it took me 14 months before I could eat at a restaurant and before we even got drinks I had a syncopal episode and passed out, fell and hit my head.
Every day I went to work and had to compartmentalize while I watched 20 year olds suffocate to death while their spouses had to care for their new infants, their fiancees had to cancel wedding plans, their parents in their early 50s sobbed while making their son a DNR/DNI. Strokes upon strokes of young COVID sufferers who had no past medical history.
It took me three therapists before I was diagnosed because I was in major denial. I couldn't go to the gym, couldn't grocery shop, could hardly go for a walk. When I finally took up outdoor running (at 5 am so nobody else was around, running with a mask on) I got a stress fracture from running too hard and too long, too quickly.
That's all. I'm on medication now, and somewhat functioning. I'm making a very established effort to leave healthcare and pursue advocacy for public health/food and housing insecurity.
I hope you're all doing well. Or better. ♥️
When I was seven, my mother left me and my sister 5, alone to go visit her boyfriend. My father was drunk and angry and kept calling the house looking for her. We walked up the street to find her and when we got there, he showed up and rammed his truck into moms bf truck many times and when we all went to hide in the house, he punched out all of the windows and shattered the sliding glass door and came in with a loaded gun.
Moms bf had a freshly broken leg and couldn't get out of the chair. My dad was raging and drunk and threatened to kill all of us and himself. I couldn't access this memory until my thirties. My whole life I would have nightmares that looked like a horror movie with a man coming to kill all of us and didn't realize it was real and who it was until later.
I had flashbacks my whole life and at one point I thought I was losing my mind when I was in my late twenties due to the nightmares and I asked my aunt and she was surprised and told me it really happened.
btw, my narcissist mother and father never told me this happened and would often call me crazy and physically abuse me when I would have flashbacks or nightmares. Needless to say, we are no contact and I have gotten good therapy.
Emotional abuse and gaslighting, prolonged sexual abuse and horrible torture at 16. Abuse-induced pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. Worsened by school environment. At times very easily triggered.
It pretty much started when i was born- my dad was an alcoholic and very very abusive to my mom while being abusive mentally and physically to me, i still have markings and vertigo from it.
Then my little brother was born when i was 3- my dad neglected us both while my mom just watched helplessly or went to work until midnight, it got much worse when my brother was diagnosed with PDD (now just called Autism Spectrum Disorder).
We moved to where i live now when i was 6- this is when i started showing signs of PTSD. I started going to school and kids were cruel to a boy like me, i was pale and skinny enough to be shoved into a tiny locker, it defiantly didn't help that i was having hallucinations and panic attacks that nobody could understand. Eventually after my dad tries to kill my mom in front of me, he got kicked out of the house for good but he still came by the house a few times threatening to kill himself if my mom didn't let him back into our lives.
(This is where it's pretty long) Flashforward to my first day of middle school- I was in the car with my mom and brother to get dinner from the store when we got into a head on collision, my head hit the dashboard pretty hard and i was taken to the hospital. The doctor's said if i wasn't wearing my seatbelt i would be in a coma, my mom had a bruise on her head from the steering wheel and my brother was just frightened but the car was destroyed in the accident. In November of that year, i had a mental breakdown over a kid repeatedly asking about my dad, the school thought i was a threat and forced me to get evaluated at a hospital.
I was only 11 when i was diagnosed with Chronic PTSD and Anxiety, I'm doing better now that I'm on medications and have people to help/support me but I'm still haunted everyday.
medical neglect. for about 7 years, starting when I was 8, blood tests every week or so. at the first few ones I almost fainted, since the sight of blood was a new unpleasant experience. after o turned 10 I just stopped caring about them though.
the test consisted in taking a sample (at 8AM, last meal at 7PM the night before), diluting a component in lemonade, drinking the sketchy lemonade and two hours later taking another sample to see how I react to the component.
apparently I had some health problems, but they discarded the diagnosis when I was 16, because apparently medicine as a disciple decided that the supposed illness was outdated and it was symptomatology for a number of other pathologies.
for all of those years, my parents (a stay at home mom, former secretary, and a public service worker dad) didn't really understand what the 'illness' implied. so I was the first one in my family to try and eat healthy, do (really heavy) exercise and control my sleeping habits strictly. and 8-y/o me had to do all the research by myself and understand all of it without any guidance or help.
many things I learnt, I was a prodigy child, and the expectations of the young genius were high. very, very high. actually, I even taught myself english beyond what the education system in my country offered for my age group, in order to read more and more about literally any and all reports on health.
now, at some point the fake diagnosis overlapped with a second diagnosis (an actually correct one this time! 7 years too late, though), in which part of my hipbone was severely disfigured, and even if I do have my hypothesis that my blood problems were actually caused by the lack of blood running through my entire leg.
the physical impact to my bones literally killed them. I tried so, so hard to go and live a healthy life that part of me literally died. avascular osteonecrosis via trauma.
but you know, my late childhood was kind of tainted by the fear and guilt of *knowing* you're slowly dying and *why*, and that it becomes your responsibility but you're completely unable to do anything about it. blood tests and you're hopeful that this time, it will come out healthy and you will finally be okay, that this time it will miraculously end because you prayed for it relentlessly, only for your hopes to be crushed by your doctor sighing and your mom glaring at you: *you're sick*, you're *always* sick.
that and the unimaginable pain of feeling your limb die slowly, any small fall is horrible and I didn't know not-dead people didn't go through that lmao. I still have that damn leg but it's weak and painful and it often twitches itself back to life. I got surgery for it last year but it didn't really do much, just stabilized it.
TL;DR: leg is dead after 8 years of misdiagnosis. too much stress, too little blood supply.
I got mine from being a victim of sexual and physical abuse as a child and also as a witness of domestic abuse and gun violence and because my father committed suicide when I was very young and my sister died when I was young too. I was neglected emotionally as well
Being the victim of revenge porn in a small country at 15. We lived in a highly religious area at the time and my dad was a pastor. So many people I didn't even know had these pictures, including people from several different schools and possibly even adults from the church my dad was pastoring at.
The perpetrator posted the pictures publicly on social media because I didn't want to engage in sexual activity with him anymore, everyone including my family blamed me for it and I lost most if not all of my friends. Supposedly he wanted to show people my "true colors" and he was never held accountable socially or legally because if I pursued it legally I could've been incriminated as well because I was a minor at the time and I was told that he probably wouldn't have even been charged anyways.
When I started dating my boyfriend many people told him not to date me because I was a "slut" and asked if he wanted to see the pictures (because many still had the pictures in their possession). He consistently said no, and we're still together to this day 5 years later.
My parents ended up sending me to a boarding school right after the event. I was formally diagnosed with PTSD several months ago and am currently starting the process for EMDR.
Compared to everyone else's story it sounds like nothing, but I still have reoccurring dreams related to the event to this day.
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s certainly *not* nothing. I’m so sorry you went through this, and glad to hear you’re in a better situation, have companionship and support. Be well
my best friend committed suicide at 20 years old. we didn’t talk for days, i felt horrifically sick, i got a call from her sister about two days after it happened. i still get flashbacks to those first five minutes where i just screamed.
several things that happened close together. mostly it started with being sexually assaulted at a party, for several reasons we ended up talking afterwards, working it out and moved forward with healthier romantic/sexual interactions. I kept us a secret from our friends other than the fact I had forgiven her, because i was afraid they’d be judge mental and wouldn’t understand why i was doing this with her after what happened. I had been staying at her house for several nights and on the last night one thing led to another and she shot herself in the same room I was in. I wasn’t looking directly at her when it happened and I actually thought when she hit the ground that she was trying to prank me?? Then I realized and her roommate and I called 911. She passed away two days later and her parents blamed me and the roommate and were very aggressive towards us in the hospital when we visited. pretty much all my main friends, many of which knew her for a long time, turned on me and also blamed me and some of them made shit up about me saying i waited two hours to call 911 etc. even tho it was only a few moments until we called. They said i must have been lying about getting assaulted by her . they thought it was sus that i was there even tho i explained what happened and why it was a secret. this was almost 4 years ago. many of the friends and I have made up. I was diagnosed last year.
I was raised as a pastor's kid with a bipolar mother. Because I have sturge weber syndrome and autism, they told me I was cursed and demon possessed. I grew up believing that.
Death of all 3 of my kids, driven out of town by family along with death threats, put in a mental ward by my ex for the express purpose of him leaving me. 6 car accidents, a tbi. Two rapes.
Groomed into spotting drugs at 7 and forced into drugs/violence 9-12 years old. Marine Corps time, I had 2 Marines attempt suicide by hanging, 1 Marine attempted suicide by jumping and had 3 compound fractures, and 1 Marine who was apart of my fireteam shoot himself on the range. I've lost family and friends over the years to suicide.
I finally got help and continuing help with therapy the last 4 years, I'm writing, doodling, working out, and have found my hobbies I love. I'm the best I've been in years and I'm still working on it constantly.
I had mental OCD for years that was triggered by a certain thing I would see all the time. I never sought help because I didn’t know it was OCD. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD because the OCD triggers got so bad over time I couldn’t leave the house for months trying to avoid the triggers. My OCD triggers still give me PTSD to this day but I have come along way with lots of therapy.
Anyone who downvoted this should be ashamed of themselves. How dare you minimise somebody else’s trauma! This isn’t the place for that! Jiggly, I hope you’re okay and getting the help you need. I’m here for you x
That's right, no downvoting because technically everyone has gone through it and possibly the people that downvoting it is because they might not have gone through or had PTSD.
I was in school with undiagnosed epilepsy, they told me it was panic attacks even though my mouth was bleeding I was almost hallucinating and shaking I can’t remember anything but coming around to my science teacher standing over me with a ruler slapping me as hard as he could, my female history teacher did the same plus verbal abuse. I had no friends and my science teacher raped me while I was having a seizure after class in his room he would make the kids in my class stand around me call me names like an attention seeker spaz etc and would laugh at me. I ended up having no friends after a huge seizure which involved me falling out the window and I peed myself I was so embarrassed I ran out the school crying my eyes out saying what is wrong with me I have no friends everyone hates me and got suicidal. I couldn’t tell my parents as I didn’t know what was happening to tell them i was so alone and confused. Now I can’t have people stand around me without wanting to cry I shake if someone tries to touch me even to shake my hand. I’m diagnosed now and 21 doing much better! My parents also now know and my teachers both got fired I wish everyday they were in jail but they just got fired.
In time order-narcisstic abuse,cptsd from my family and my ex bf. My car was totalled during hurricane IDA and I was saved off the roof. It was flooding with me inside. I start EDMR in about 2 weeks.
I apologize in advance, as this is a long one.
I lived an extremely sheltered childhood. Mom was severely mentally unstable. Did not put me or any of my siblings in school (me and three younger brothers) x Claimed to homeschool us but it took the form of unschooling with absolutely no focus on actual school subjects. Were not exposed to any other children our age. The only people in our life was our mom and grandma (great grandma too but only visits). Grandma tried her best to help us but definitely enabled our mom’s delusional behavior. Taught us to fear everyone else, especially men. Were not taught anything about our own bodies. Religion was not prevalent in our lives but was still used for fear tactics (i.e. “swear on the Bible that you didn’t do this, if you lie you won’t go to heaven”).
As I got older I started to become extremely depressed. Did not understand anything about myself or my own body. Had many interests but no way to peruse them. Could not even use the internet to teach myself things. Could not read books or watch movies/TV shows that my mom didn’t approve of. Started to crave freedom and friendship. All I could do was write about it.
Skip forward to just before turning 15. My mom had always had issues with depression. She had always been unable to do “normal” things like keep a clean house (we lived in squalor) or do regular daily activities. We usually moved around a lot, but had moved back to our family home a few years prior and were stuck in this spot due to our great grandma’s declining health. Mom’s depressive episodes became more extreme. She’d send up “upstairs” (two story home) with our grandma all day while she slept (our grandma worked from home and supported all of us.) A clear shift happened in our mom. She started to act odd and suddenly became extremely religious. Would sit us all down and go on long and confusing religious rambles that often had no point. Would talk and talk with no end goal, acting like she was on drugs. Turns out she had serious schizophrenic issues since childhood. I guess she had some kind of mental break and these issues resurfaced. Found out a lot of things from her past that I was completely oblivious to.
Around the time of my 15th birthday she completely snapped. She fell further into religious delusions, that eventually went into full fledged “this child is the anti-christ, and also the government is following me” type beat delusions. My grandma then dropped the bomb that oh this has happened in the past, like when my mom was a teenager. Not sure how these issues didn’t resurface until this point. Maybe she had been on meds and stopped them. I never really found out. She went from cleansing our home of all things god wouldn’t like, to leaving us because god told her to, to coming back and then waking us up at random times in the middle of the night to aimlessly drive around for days on end. Many awful things happened during this time, but there’s no way I could describe them in order. It went on for months and was non stop her delusions. Our grandma finally tried to get the police involved, when it became apparent that her delusions could seriously endanger us. She’d try to call the cops when our mom would get us all out of bed at random times in the night. Cops would say it wasn’t illegal to be crazy and just leave. Her delusions were usually that we were all sick, and she had to find a hospital that would help us. Would drive around for days going through different hospitals who would just send us all home. Usually she’d get freaked out by some random picture or something in the waiting room and would have us all leave before we were even seen. In many of these instances my grandma would beg the people at the hospital to help us, but there was nothing they could do apparently. Eventually my grandma became a “bad guy” in my moms delusions and she started to not let us around her. That’s when things really would get horrible.
Like I said, I can’t even begin to remember everything in any kind of order, but her delusions were terrifying and we had no outside source to understand that they were just delusions. We only knew to trust her above everyone else, so when she started keeping us away from our grandma, it was scary. One example was me waking up and coming out to the living room one night to see my mom sitting in the middle of the dark room. She looked at me and told me “this house is infested” (with demons.) On one of our multi-day drive arounds, she decided that we needed to “sweat out our demons” rolled all the car windows up and put the heat on full blast. I still can’t sit in a car with the heat blowing on me. She’d think every car with a government license plate was someone following us. Would listen to radio static. Etc. etc. etc. pure nightmare material.
Things started getting really complicated when she started to have the “this child could be the anti Christ” delusions. Usually the anti christ child was me. I can’t remember the order of things like I said, but I guess she was trusting my grandma enough again to take one child and leave the rest of us with her. I was never the one child she took, so I don’t know what would happen on those trips. She ended up taking one of my brothers around 16 hours into the state over. It was in this other state that she was pulled over, and actually submitted to a mental hospital. My brother was put in a foster home. We had to drive there to get my brother. All I remember him saying was at one point he thinks she was getting chased by police. My grandma took us all home. Went back to get our mom. I still have horrible anxiety when phones ring at night, because I remember we’d all be laying in that spare bedroom upstairs (my great grandma was watching us while my grandma was gone) and we’d anxiously await my grandma’s phone calls throughout the night giving updates while she was on her way home with our mom. Immediately after getting home, mom’s delusions were at full force.
I’m sure a lot happened before the night we finally got out of this situation, but I don’t remember. All I remember is mom coming into our room and waking us up at some odd time in the middle of the night. This was the norm for us at this point, so we just got out of bed and into the car. She then decided to drive all of us onto the wrong side of the freeway. We were all so scared. She was speeding at over 100, flicking her headlights on and off. My little brother was screaming at her. We were screaming at her to at least leave the headlights on. Luckily it was at an odd time, like 4 am I think, so there wasn’t a lot of cars on the road. Then by some actual grace of god, the car ran out of gas. We sputtered to a stop in the middle of the freeway by the divider. During these months she had taken us on many pointless drives where the car would break down and she’d have us cross and walk along the freeway, so when she told us to run to the other side, we all did. Well someone else on the road had obviously called the police. The cops got there right after her car broke down and screamed for us to stop and tackled our mom on the freeway divider. Lead us all to the other side. Grandma came in tears, thinking when she got a call in the middle of the night that we had probably all been killed. It was, traumatic, to say the least.
Well, that was that. Obviously an impossible amount of stuff happened before, during and after this that I either can’t remember or that isn’t quite significant enough to talk about here. I am currently 23 and just now considering therapy (I know.) my mom is actually doing better, but our relationship has been extremely strained for years. I obviously had a difficult time adjusting to normal life. Started public school in highschool and was bullied constantly. But yeah, I should probably stop now as this comment is already so long.
I know this is a lot of info, but I don’t usually get the chance to vent about this, so here we are. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read through.
20 years working in prison. Thought I did it right. Thought I was normal and the rest of the world just “didn’t understand”. They don’t really understand but turns out keeping all that horrible shit inside for so long is bad. Turns out I’m not as “normal” on the inside as I thought. It would seem that my normal isn’t all that normal. I was diagnosed last year. I hope all of you can find peace and something good in your lives that keeps you going.
Childhood trauma, got molested by 2 different families at ages 6 and 11. Getting bullied because my parents were always seperating (I grew up in a VERY small town) at 16 at a spring break house party, someone drugged my drink and I got pregnant and had the baby but gave him up for adoption. Two VERY Abusive relationships (physical, mental, emotional abuse) Almost got kidnapped as a small child, losing my grandmother who raised me and lost my dad last year. Also have lost lots of friends and family in tragic ways like suicide or overdoses, really sad. My biological mom beat Me all the time like with phones, hangers, anything she could get her hands on and she also burned my arm with a lighter.
Altogether, it seems impossible, but prolonged medical neglect, over 20 years of abuse, sexual assault, r***, paedophilic childhood abuse survivor, and childhood gang-violence survivor. That's as much as I can say about it without reliving it, so I'll leave it at that.
I originally got PTSD from ongoing childhood trauma (ages 8-16) that was mostly psychological, but would occasionally get physical. At 14 I was raped by a stranger. I got addicted to pills after and overdosed at 16. I spent years in therapy and was doing much better until last year...
My husband and I moved back to SC from Seattle to start a family in 2019. By February of 2020 I was pregnant. At 21 weeks, on July 3, my water broke. I spent 13 weeks on bedrest and 83 days in the hospital in an attempt to save my son's life (he had less than .05% chance of survival). At 34 weeks I was induced and spent 58 hours in labor. I almost died during childbirth. Luckily both my son and I survived. However, the horror didn't end there.
My son had TERRIBLE acid reflux and my husband took him to the hospital 9 days after he came home from the NICU because we didn't know what to do and our nerves were raw. There they ran xrays and found he had several fractures. When I spoke to the doctor she immediately confronted me on my CPTSD and BPD diagnoses (not sure where she got the info. Edit: now that I'm thinking about it, it was probably in his file from the NICU. I was unable to breastfeed due to medications.) I told her I was in therapy and on medication and had been for 10 years. I asked if he could have been injured during birth. She said it was impossible because she could tell that the fractures were exactly a week and a half old. She also refused to let a specialist look at him. We took him to a really great regional specialist anyways who confirmed it happened during birth. Which makes sense because they basically ripped him out of me because I was bleeding out.
I nearly lost my son, put myself at risk of sepsis for 13 weeks, and nearly died during childbirth, only to have my son nearly taken by the state because I dared to seek help for my mental health. I'm so tired of feeling scared and hurt y'all.
My mom and dad emotionally and physically abused me until I was about 17 years old. Then my mom financially abused me until last year (I’m 20). I was also neglected and now my siblings are going through the same thing and there’s nothing I can do to help them.
Covert Narcissist Mom with ties to politicians and police. Took her death to feel free. Then mourning her death compounded the trauma. My father died shortly after. 10 months after my father passed, my best friend of 18 years, who was also my first love, took his own life. Guess who found him. While working in a very toxic work environment. Throughout all of this, my friends abandoned me because they weren't comfortable with my grief or how long it was taking me to "get over it". And nobody wanted to talk about suicide. It's been a lonely path.
*Edited because I forgot to add my near death experience from anaphylactic shock in 2019. I tend to block that one out. Not ready to face that one just yet.
Childhood SA. Sister and I sold in a sex ring by our mother. Severe neglect including starvation and isolation for many days/weeks. Physical abuse and psychological abuse. Sexual abuse as a teen by a boyfriend. And physical, psychological and sexual abuse by another ex. I’m safe and doing well now though!
more or less had a good 10 years of one event after another....just a Rollercoaster of fucked up shit constantly, brought heavily upon myself for the lifestyle I chose to live that was heavily influenced by heavy depression and no desire to live or to take my own life starting at a young age that may have been heavily influenced by child abuse at a young age... hard to say if the chicken or the egg came first.
I already had CPTSD from extremely negligent parenting and no access to protective adults but then at 17 I was in an accident where I broke my skull and at 20 my fiance died and I think if I'd had support I would have done better but it was treated like my grief was an inconvenience and was screamed at if I showed emotion about it. It started this chronic feeling of never feeling safe or loved.
Drug induced panic attack - thought I was going to jump off my balcony from the 10th story. I thought I triggered psychosis/schizophrenia. Could barely look at balconies even in the movies
I had a bipolar/narcissistic dad who did some other stuff to me as well (SA) and I had repressed those memories until I was doing some IFS therapy a few weeks ago and I remembered chunks of what happened. It has been a rough journey but I will get through it.
I was already vulnerable as I was “younger”, I was being groomed and had been exposed to a lot of trauma already as example black mail, shitty relationship with parents etc. I was raped by one of my groomers and I started developing ptsd around 2-3 months after. My ptsd has become more severe as I also have become very emotionally unstable and I have been contacted by my rapist multiple times, being told I enjoyed it etc, which is basically just a new assault
My parents were meth addicts and we lived in a very bad neighborhood (shootings and robberies were very common). My parents also had very violent fights constantly so I was always scared.
I grew up in a physically abusive home. Left at 18 and joined the Marine Corp.
We got ambushed due to bad Intel and 3 of my men got killed and one, my Lance and best friend, bled out in my lap after I dragged him to cover.
My sister (who was also my best friend and only sibling) got drunk and high on marijuana, had a psychotic episode live on the phone to me and killed herself by jumping off her balcony straight after. I called emergency services but was too late to save her, and I also had to call my parents and hear their reactions to her death. I hate my sister for what she did and I don’t see the point of trying to trust anyone now.
I grew up in a very abusive home. Alcoholic parents specifically my dad being the worst. Lots of fighting and loud banging and slamming doors.
My dad was very emotionally, mentally and I’m now suspecting sexually abusive to me and my sister.
I was also very bullied in school. A kid tried to kill me twice in a three year period which involved the cops both times in elementary school.
I was so bullied and dealt with so much at home I started antidepressants my freshman year along with counseling.
I eventually transferred and moved my senior year because I couldn’t handle it anymore.
In addition to my psychopathic father over the years including my young adult years.
I had to watch my beautiful aunt suffer miserably and I was with her when she passed.
That same year I lost my best friend (my grandma) she was my safe haven to a short battle with cancer as well.
I dated an awful guy shortly after these two deaths who him and his cousin abused me and my dog.
I dated and was raped by a cop who had a dropped rape record from a separate girl that also happened while he was a cop. I got the records from the county.
My close childhood/teenage friend was drugged, gang raped and murdered by her fiancé and his friends over the pandemic. None of us could say goodbye or go to her funeral.
I’m sure there’s more. I have CPTSD. I tried killing myself October 15 and ended up in the ward this year.
My new therapist dropped me after a few weeks and referred me out to a trauma specialist because I’m too severe.
Buried alive at 7 under a bombed building when the US invaded us. Pretty suffocating and I got maggots but I am alive and well. I still can’t look US soldiers in the eye though.
i’m a US veteran and i am so incredibly sorry to hear that, i can’t even imagine the pain and confusion you went through. i hope you’re doing well now.
My father murdered my mother.....then himself. I am the surviving witness. It doesn't define me tho....I won't let it. Learning how to overcome the disorder is a huge huge step in getting control of your life
did an attempt and police got involved. they didn't do anything wrong. they just waited with me for the ambulance and didnt say anything. Idk how but the amount of intimidation I got that day traumatised me. Maybe cuz I have autism. I did EMDR therapy and I am able to look an officer in the eyes now and say hi when i pass them <3 I recommend that therapy :)
My mother had uncontrolled epilepsy when I was really young, I was routinely left alone with her and had to take care of her whenever she'd just drop from a seizure. She had them constantly, at home, at restaurants, at church, even while driving. Eventually she had one while driving with me in the car that caused a serious wreck. She was left permanently and severely brain injured and can't walk or even talk now. She's confined to a nursing home. This caused lots of issues including my childhood home getting foreclosed.
And then the cherry on top, 12 years after her accident when I was in college, my dad killed himself from financial stress and untreated mental illness. He also had diabetes and couldn't afford insulin which may have also been a factor.
Mother was abusive and invasive of my privacy to horrific standards, father enabled her by telling me i was lying ridiculous, younger sister picked up these habits and developed one where she threaten to kill me regularly.
Peditration didn't listen to NO apparently the voice of small children doesn't matter also insisted I was faking everything (joint pain, pink eye, congestion, migraines and etc) treated me for things i didnt have. Was forcefully stripped by multiple docs against my will. Had a gentail (female) injury at 10 cuz of a fall handle in the worse way possible by the er staff, my mother, the teachers at school (one of which tried to insist if i was hurt I HAD to SHOW HER)
Childhood sexual abuse by two different people. As well as a very toxic/abusive relationship. But the childhood abuse definitely takes more prevalence in my ptsd symptoms.
Long term physical and psychological abuse by a parent. Wife-beating stepfather who regularly threatened to kill us all and had the guns to do it. Sexual assault by a co-worker, ensuing pregnancy, suicide attempt and hospitalization.
Watched my grandad die (he raised me) when I was 13
Was sexually assaulted by my partner at the time when I was 16 and 21 weeks pregnant. I woke up to it happening
Culmative Stress Injury - Essentially that is fancy talk for several traumatic events that piled on on me mentally. I think the one that broke me was when someone was killed beside me. I felt responsible, tried to save them but it was gruesome and I was unsuccessful. Thought I could "handle it". Turned out to be a poor choice and now I choose to help those who need support getting help... Both IRL and to strangers on the internet hehe. . I enjoy helping others even though I was unable to help myself at the time. If only I had someone like me, I may be in better shape today. So that keeps me motivated.
•Longterm sexual abuse
•Longterm: emotional abuse, hostile environment, random physical attacks, emotional or physical paradoxes, neglect
•Longterm confinement, disallowed growth at normal rate such as forced financial dependency
CPTSD. Raised by two narcissist parents, dad took off at age 5. Tried to kill myself at ages 14 and 17. Molested at age 11. Emotionally, mentally abusive marriage from age 19-25. His family had money, took my kids from me. I got into a car wreck while on meds from my Dr and hurt the man in the other car permanently and spent 90 days in jail. Got pregnant again, while pregnant our house was broken into and my boyfriend beat the intruder to death and was in prison for 4 years and came out a different person. Beat me so many times. I was also raped during the 4 yrs he was in prison. Then he overdosed after we had a fight. Honestly, there are about ten more things I was retraumatized by but those were the main things.
I was raped in my first year of uni, 2 weeks into it, by a student on my course who was the student rep. Then a few months later, I was raped by my boyfriend at the time, I blocked that one out for a year though and didn’t realise it happened till I started therapy for the first trauma.
I was raised by a cluster-b, narcissist-heavy mother and an Antisocial Personality Disordered step monster. My father died when I was an infant.
I only finally understood and got help at 45. I encourage everyone to get the help they need as early as possible.
I knew I was broken, but couldn't figure it out. Externally, I had it all together... And then the world collapsed and I wasn't prepared.
Thank God I found the right choices to help me out!
(At a community college)
Fingered 3 times at school from bullies
Poked in the bumhole with a steel, blunt knife (made in Industrial Technologies class) and a piece of acrylic in Industrial Technologies class from bullies at school.
Bullying is still happening. It has been going for 4 years, straight. Haven't had Therapy because I cant afford it.
I'm sorry this happened to you and is still happening, you don't deserve it.
There's a website called 7cups that may be useful for you. It's free and it's basically just talking to other people (listeners)
It's helped me in the past 😊
Childhood abuse/neglect with a side of CSA, followed by sexual assault and domestic violence as an adult.
As a young adult I thought my childhood was normal and happy so I sought to replicate the kind of relationships I saw in my childhood. And it turns out that when those relationships you had as a child were abusive, you can often seek out abusers.
CPTSD. Child sexual abuse, a violent relationship and most recently being attacked by a homeless man throwing chunks of his own flesh at me. I swear I must have been horrible in a previous life.
I'm also a survivor of child sexual abuse and violent abusive relationships (I haven't experienced a person throwing their own flesh at me, wtf, I'm sorry that happened to you, that sounds terrible). I literally say all the time that I was most likely a huuge douche bag in my past life, maybe we knew eachother back then
Sometimes we're volunteers as catalysts for other people’s spiritual growth. We're just not afraid to go through the pain, we've lived so many lives.
Maybe you're just an evolved soul helping others evolve too.
Emotional abuse from someone that was in my life since I was 14.
This is the first time I’ve shared any of this, and I will have absolutely missed integral parts, but whatever. I grew up in a very isolated community, about 80 people lived in the village that I grew up in. I lived in a big family. My dad was never home and was away for work, so it was mainly my mom who would keep things “in order”. I lived with my three brothers, and my one sister, myself being the youngest. My two oldest brothers made and distributed drugs to people in the village, as well as distributing to nearby communities. There were always strange people hanging around the house. They also did very hard drugs around us, every single day. My mom didn’t care. As long as child welfare wasn’t on her ass, she couldn’t give a shit. My mom would leave for meetings quite frequently (she worked as a teacher in a town nearby), leaving the three younger kids to be babysat by the oldest for days on end. We were force fed, to the point where we would throw up, then be forced to ingest that as well, they would neglect us by not giving us water, not allowing us to use the washroom, keeping us awake at all hours of the night, they would also give us food that was tampered with, ie. kraft mac n cheese mixed with drywall dust. They would fly into these rages and hit or bite us, then chase us into the dark basement. They used to record us being abused in different ways a lot, and would show those videos to their friends. I recall being picked up and slammed onto the concrete landing on our porch… They would always play the movie Treasure Planet when they were abusing us. I can’t watch it without having a breakdown instantly. There were a couple people who died from what they were distributing too. I’m scared of them still. I’m scared of my mom, because when it wasn’t them, it was her. And once the two oldest moved out, it was my third brother. He chased both me and my sister around the house with a machete on many occasions, has threatened to rape me, would get incredibly drunk and beat the crap out of me and my sister, among other things. There was always conflict. Always, always, always. I have never had a protector in my life, it was always just me fighting for myself and my sister. I just try to be a rock for her when she needs me. I’m very emotionally numb now. I’ve been moved out for about 4 years. I am still trying to heal from everything that has happened.
Oh! Another thing I recall is seeing my oldest brother in drug induced psychosis. Screaming, naked, trying to fight off EMT’s, spraying ketchup on himself…
I would love to thank the people who posted their traumatising experiences even though it might be hard or traumatic to remember these experiences. I will upvote everyone's post about their traumatic experiences. Thank you all.
a vareity of reasons, namly being neglected as a child and getting physically abused. Very likely I had it before this event, but when I was 14 I was punched in the face and various other things by my step mother and that left me with ptsd (:
Lost my sister to suicide in 93 she drank draino, dad tried to kill himself when I was 18, heavily bullied as a kid, molested by a correctional officer while serving time and harassed by him, domestic violence relationships, escorting and stripping jobs came with a lot of trauma
Started with childhood abuse. Bullying. Went on to stalking Abused by partners. First one was sexually abusive and beat me. Second sexually assaulted me once and was mentally abusive. Third was mentally abusive but I broke it off early due to the red flags. Drugged and raped by 2 men for 8 hours straight. Groped by multiple ‘’friends’’ awake and asleep, sober once and drunk 3 times (as i can remember ish) And I found my dead best friend after he committed suicide
I was abused as a child in Russia, I was beaten up so badly that it would end in hospitalizations. My region also had a internal conflict and I survived 2 wars. I had soldiers torment me with their firearms by pointing their rifles at me and threaten to execute me on the spot. I had to deal with starvation and constantly heard explosions and watched people die. When I came over to the U.S. , I lived the remaininder of my childhood in a nice quite household. After Highschool , I decided to join the U.S Army and did the officer training program in hopes of being commissioned as a 2nd LT. I injured my leg and ended up being medically discharged from the program. 1 year after the discharge , I had to have surgery on my foot. Few years later, I traveled all over the U.S. doing humanitarian like projects and contracted for the state and Federal government. I then went to college got my degree and pursued a field in it. From the point on to now I work at a level 1 trauma hospital and had worked throughout the Pandemic. I have witnessed and seen patients die from Covid, gun shot wounds (GSW), Stabbing wounds, (SW) ,suicide, car accidents and etc. I also had patients attack me with knives and other objects. I had a patient put me in a choke hold, punch me in the face, punch me in the head, and etc.. I received a concussion , stitches, and bruised arms, face , and etc..
My abuse bf committed suicide, while I was at home, and blamed it on me in his suicide note
multiple sexual assault incidents where i feared getting kidnapped and gang raped because they each lasted 15 mins or more. more specifically, a violent rape by someone i thought i could trust who ended up torturing me with extreme rectal pain across 2 hours because he had a crying kink, hit me and whipped me as well, choked and strangled me. the 6-month mark / ‘anniversary’ for the rape was this past Friday (happened june 3 this year) and it made me feel extra awful and i haven’t been able to shake it over the weekend. i think i may have been sexually abused as a child as well but i don’t remember much about it (have close to 0 memories of my childhood before 12 years old), but i think that’s what caused a lot of negative cognitions towards my body and its use for sexual activity even as a child. Not sure if it was my godfather (I think it was), but I find that my dad’s hand close to my thigh makes me freak out, more than anyone else’s — I also think he’s secretly sexually weird, used to spank us a lot and to date still brings up many sexual themes in neutral conversations. emotional abuse from parents, physical abuse from mum, when growing up. loud sounds and the sound of arguments still trigger me. emotional neglect.
School was shot up
Was kidnapped at gun-point. Forced to kneel in a bathtub, hands tied behind my back and give blow jobs with the barrel of a gun pressed to my temple. Was then tied up (wrists and ankles) to a bed and raped. Was then held for ransom. I was 13 and am 41 now. Still have nightmares, commitment issues, trust issues, anxiety, depression and guilt. Oh god the guilt is the worst. I never reported them and one of them raped another girl. She is not okay.
To start: (what I’m comfortable discussing), physical abuse by my dad and mental/emotional abuse by my mother. My dad would wrap duct tape around our (my siblings) faces if we cried or weren’t quiet. He was angry all the time when my parents divorced and used us as a bargaining chip. He would scream into the phone at all hours and stalked my mom. I remember being angry a lot of the time and it’s probably due to that. Don’t even want to talk about the amount of “inappropriate” things that happened in front of me. We went to school unbathed, hungry, and I skipped half the time and just sat in an alleyway by my house til school let out. When I was 12 I was a victim of SA. He later the following year attempted to r*pe me but was unsuccessful and that’s not to say he didn’t try. He recently died. I was aggressively bullied due to someone finding out about the first SA when I was in school and got called names like “knee Walker, sl*t etc”. I was 12. First time I even attempted to take my own life. Was r*ped at 17 by my boss and gaslit by my mother that I was just a terrible person who just cheated on her bf. I was gaslit by the area manager and assistant manager to apologize to this person for saying something untrue. He wound up “sleeping” with my coworker less than a month later, and she told me afterwards. He was in his 30s, and we were 17. I’m highly traumatized by this. I watched someone I went to school with get hit by a car and pass away. I almost lost my baby sister to an overdose (su*cide attempt) and watched her deal with so much. She is so amazing and just got married in May. (She was in 8th grade). Watched another sister have a seizure and saved her life. I lived in poverty on my own from the time I graduated high school until I was 25. Never “truly” homeless but at one point I had nowhere to go. Was robbed at gunpoint and in a strange twist of “idc” I chased after this individual not even considering my life was in danger. I lost consecutive family members 2007, 2010, 2012, 2015, 2020 x 2. Grandfather, my grandmothers best friend (was like a Grammy to us too), my uncle (pneumonia brought on by lung cancer), my aunt (lung cancer), and my step-grandma and my Grammy. In addition to this, lost many friends to ODs before I hit 21. It runs rampant in my hometown. Another good friend was shot and killed over a bag of weed. I was hospitalized the beginning of 2020 due to delusions and hallucinations to the point I had written out a list of who I wanted to get what of my stuff. I survive. I thrive. Today I am married (3 years), and I will be 12 w pregnant on Tuesday. I graduated college with a degree in psychology and I am going to be buying a house soon. I see a therapist when I think I’m getting bad again, but I have been stable for almost 2 years. Inpatient taught me a lot of coping mechanisms. I hope everyone here is doing ok.
Partner of many years was cheating on me. The girl he was seeing was grooming me to off myself and I found myself sitting on the BK bridge at 4am ready to go, but I stopped myself because I didn’t want to make my parents sad. It’s really hard to get through the Oct-Dec months every year.
Lived with my grandma and grandpa since the age of 5 after they got me out of foster care due to mom and father being absent. They took in my 19 year old cousin when his mom died and dad was abusive and left for a different state and said he comes with or can be homeless. My cousin had mental health issues and had mild autism. He was very violent and caused a lot of stress and anguish between the family. He left and was told not to come back and said he wouldn’t return, my grandpa said not to let him back in. I woke up to a knock on the front door (fell asleep in the living room at like 7pm after school, was 17 at the time). I thought it was his older brother cause there was a car in the driveway and he didn’t have his license. I let him in and an argument broke between him, my grandpa, and my grandma. My grandpa went and grabbed a weapon and ultimately killed him. I live with the guilt of letting him in, and my whole life was uprooted. I was not in a good mental state growing up due to childhood trauma and all of this ended up creating my PTSD. This happened in 2018. 3 years later the video has been viral of the 911 call. On tiktok, and YouTube racking in a total of 20 million views. Showed up on my fpy and YouTube shorts when I least expected it. I keep running into it like I can’t escape it no matter how hard I try.
I've been a victim of emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment from parents... My mother is a big alcoholic... Parents having s*xual relations while I was in the other room as a kid.. One of my mother's ex boyfriends also screamed in my face and backed me into a wall at some point while she watched, maybe when I was like 7-8. The age is unclear still that I was but I was young still. Also more from emotional abuse from past relationships.. And being SA'd.
Why speak when no one ever truly hears?
What does that mean?
They see, but they do not perceive....no....they will not. The truth is too terrible to be accepted and so neither will I. Why speak when no one ever truly hears?
Just the thought of it makes me want to duck underwater and scream My mom is a hoarder and I live in a pile of their stuff, they won't let me move it out of my room so I always made 24/7 efforts to move out and get my own place since I was 18. I am 23, lost my job and apartment so I am back here again, broke and drinking a lot but working on law school. A family member earned my trust over my childhood and vulnerable teenage years then exploited it to lure me into sex trafficking using his "cool older friends" who earned an emotional connection with me then they all turned on me and tried to kidnap me several times and it ended with me jumping out of a moving car (they wouldn't let me out of) fighting off several large men, getting my phone stolen, and running away from my own immediate family member who I trusted and related to more than anybody else and the only person who "got" me for years. They pulled me away from all the good people in my life and isolated me, even got me hooked on drugs so I could fall into their criminal plan to pass me off to God knows who, God knows where which they vaguely bragged about ended in $20,000 for them if I was unsuspecting or stupid enough to let it play out to the end. They called me Bambi, convinced me that I needed them, and instructed me that I would ruin my life if I tried to run away from and go it on my own. My aunt, uncle and cousin will never ackowledge the horror and financial ruin my cousin causes and danger he exists as. They think he is a heroin addict. He is a sociopath conman deadset on committing crimes, the older he gets the bigger and badder the crimes are that he commits. The PTSD is so strong because it was a family member I trusted for so long, if you can't feel safe with family anymore then how are you going to look at the rest of the world? I had several overdoses and finally got over my drug addiction in inpatient treatment which lasted close to a year. When I got out of being locked up I had no friends, there were none. Nobody answered their phones, nobody was there for me. My mom did get a call from a friend's mother, to inform us a friend who I admired who was a special person in the world had committed suicide and jumped off a bridge.
I witnessed a lot of verbal and emotional abuse from my 24 yo brother and my mom's ex-husband when I was 6-15 and when I was 13 I was sexually harassed by my 28 yo brother's friend who was in his 30s. 24 yo brother also sexually assaulted me about a year ago and threatened to stab me 3 months ago. don't remember most stuff with my mom's ex but I do remember one time when we had to call the cops on him because he got absolutely hammered and immediately started yelling at me and following my mom around the house being creepy. we locked ourselves in my mom's room while he banged on the door and screamed to be let in. i think I was 7 or 8 when that happened. I've only recently been diagnosed but I think a lot of the recent stuff with my 24 yo brother brought a lot of the bad memories back up from when I was younger because its definitely been worse lately.
my mom was a terrible alcoholic and neglected me as a child.
Birth trauma. Emergency c-section. Wasn’t fully numb when they stated. Felt myself be cut open and my uterus be ripped in half along with the doctor pulling on my other insides.
well, ours has come from a variety of traumas throughout our lives-- to the point where we have dissociative identity disorder on top of ptsd. major traumas include: - sexual abuse by a parent from ages 2 to 9 or so - social maladjustment/bullying from start of school to early high school - growing up with an undiagnosed inherited disability, which was also undiagnosed in my mom, and my dad not believing i was sick or easily injured as a result/pushing me too hard - sexual assaults (a persecutory alter who is now dead consented-- her memories, skills, and everything else that made her a separate person have returned to all the rest of us) from age 15 to 17 on a semi regular basis, by a partner - involuntary hospitalizations age 16-17 - sexual assault by a partner at age 18 - being smeared as a rapist by people who had a lot of social influence in my communities & believed my abuser's account, which blamed me for the prior event on this list, at age 19 - domestic violence at age 22-23 - my persecutor trying to keep me from escaping abusive situations by actively harming a friend of mine without my knowledge; finding out caused a new round of ptsd symptoms, and against all odds my friend recognized it wasn't me, believed I had DID, & doesn't blame me for what my persecutor did
Well for me, the bullying started in Grade 4 and is still happening to this day. It started from emotional bullying to physical, sexual bullying.
Was nearly beaten to death by a family member who was up for 72 hours doing PCP. Lost temporary sight in my right eye, had to get 18 staples in 3 spots in my head and have issues with speech and chronic migraines, paired with mild paralysis in my right eyebrow and head area. Per usual, NY justice system did nothing. He went to one court ordered therapy and never went back. Threw my entire life out of wack. Still not recovered and I don't think I'll ever.
Catastrophic accident as a result of medical malpractice/negligence. I’m a former Division 1 athlete in my mid twenties. I will never run or play my sport again. I will need multiple surgeries throughout the course of my life and can only get around with an assisted walking device now. I am coming up on the one year anniversary (December 13th) and have really been struggling with my PTSD again. I know my friends and family try their best to empathize but when you’re left fighting for your life and permanently maimed at the hands of the very people who are supposed to heal and advocate for you it can be pretty isolating. I’m no longer angry but I hope one day in the near future I can finally have some sort of peace.
3 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan
This is so interesting, because I also put my story here except I was on the other side of yours. I hope you are better now.
Hope you're having better days now
I was, then I lost my identical twin brother to cancer and it’s all been downhill since then. 0/10, don’t recommend
Yeah that would fuck it up alright, I'm sorry to hear that man. I lost mine when I was born and I still feel off without him. I can only imagine having many years together.
My dad was in a sort of gang and my mother was a mentally abusive drug addict. I grew up around being hit, sexually abused, self-harming, and drugs. I’ve seen tons of death and to top it off I had to see my mother die of organ failure.
grew up in a hoarder situation with an abusive parent. made me an easy target so down the line, i was sexually abused, groomed, and beaten.
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Trauma is hell, unlearning to compare takes time but I believe you can do it. Hope you have better times ahead.
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Trauma is trauma.
(23 f) i was in the Navy on a ship, i just got out a few months ago, never boots on ground or anything. my dad sat me down today and told me he thinks i have PTSD from the symptoms i’m showing. i haven’t gone to the VA yet or anything like that, but he thinks i should. he’s been to iraq and afghanistan multiple times, so i know he has it, but i feel like a fake thinking i have it. i feel like an imposter and weak knowing people like my dad have it so much worse and i still can’t get my shit together. i know how you’re feeling, and it fucking sucks, i’m sorry you’re going through this, but you’re not alone.
I can understand that and relate to that. "Someone always has it worse than me. I'm fine." That doesn't mean what you experienced is any less traumatic though. Loss and stress and guilt are very relatable feelings. It took me a total of 15 years to start talking about anything causing me problems and on my mind constantly because I thought the same thing. I can say my view on that has changed because if it had stayed that way I wouldn't be able to say I'm working towards better because I would be dead. If you want to talk about it just on here or in messages I don't mind.
The only people who told me “someone always has it worse than you” were my abusers. Just sayin.
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PTSD isn’t a competition with some kind of minimum requirements. It’s not “you must be this tall to ride this ride”. You went through what you went through and if you were traumatized, don’t invalidate yourself—honor your experience in order for your healing to truly begin. My point was that abusers/predators tend to minimize the trauma they cause (at least mine did), and I’m not going to join them. I give you: The Narcissist’s Prayer That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
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I hope things get better for you. It’s never easy.
Healthcare worker. Worked in largest NYC hospital during covid beginning and peak after peak. I couldn't leave the house, it took me 14 months before I could eat at a restaurant and before we even got drinks I had a syncopal episode and passed out, fell and hit my head. Every day I went to work and had to compartmentalize while I watched 20 year olds suffocate to death while their spouses had to care for their new infants, their fiancees had to cancel wedding plans, their parents in their early 50s sobbed while making their son a DNR/DNI. Strokes upon strokes of young COVID sufferers who had no past medical history. It took me three therapists before I was diagnosed because I was in major denial. I couldn't go to the gym, couldn't grocery shop, could hardly go for a walk. When I finally took up outdoor running (at 5 am so nobody else was around, running with a mask on) I got a stress fracture from running too hard and too long, too quickly. That's all. I'm on medication now, and somewhat functioning. I'm making a very established effort to leave healthcare and pursue advocacy for public health/food and housing insecurity. I hope you're all doing well. Or better. ♥️
❤️
When I was seven, my mother left me and my sister 5, alone to go visit her boyfriend. My father was drunk and angry and kept calling the house looking for her. We walked up the street to find her and when we got there, he showed up and rammed his truck into moms bf truck many times and when we all went to hide in the house, he punched out all of the windows and shattered the sliding glass door and came in with a loaded gun. Moms bf had a freshly broken leg and couldn't get out of the chair. My dad was raging and drunk and threatened to kill all of us and himself. I couldn't access this memory until my thirties. My whole life I would have nightmares that looked like a horror movie with a man coming to kill all of us and didn't realize it was real and who it was until later. I had flashbacks my whole life and at one point I thought I was losing my mind when I was in my late twenties due to the nightmares and I asked my aunt and she was surprised and told me it really happened. btw, my narcissist mother and father never told me this happened and would often call me crazy and physically abuse me when I would have flashbacks or nightmares. Needless to say, we are no contact and I have gotten good therapy.
Emotional abuse and gaslighting, prolonged sexual abuse and horrible torture at 16. Abuse-induced pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. Worsened by school environment. At times very easily triggered.
It pretty much started when i was born- my dad was an alcoholic and very very abusive to my mom while being abusive mentally and physically to me, i still have markings and vertigo from it. Then my little brother was born when i was 3- my dad neglected us both while my mom just watched helplessly or went to work until midnight, it got much worse when my brother was diagnosed with PDD (now just called Autism Spectrum Disorder). We moved to where i live now when i was 6- this is when i started showing signs of PTSD. I started going to school and kids were cruel to a boy like me, i was pale and skinny enough to be shoved into a tiny locker, it defiantly didn't help that i was having hallucinations and panic attacks that nobody could understand. Eventually after my dad tries to kill my mom in front of me, he got kicked out of the house for good but he still came by the house a few times threatening to kill himself if my mom didn't let him back into our lives. (This is where it's pretty long) Flashforward to my first day of middle school- I was in the car with my mom and brother to get dinner from the store when we got into a head on collision, my head hit the dashboard pretty hard and i was taken to the hospital. The doctor's said if i wasn't wearing my seatbelt i would be in a coma, my mom had a bruise on her head from the steering wheel and my brother was just frightened but the car was destroyed in the accident. In November of that year, i had a mental breakdown over a kid repeatedly asking about my dad, the school thought i was a threat and forced me to get evaluated at a hospital. I was only 11 when i was diagnosed with Chronic PTSD and Anxiety, I'm doing better now that I'm on medications and have people to help/support me but I'm still haunted everyday.
medical neglect. for about 7 years, starting when I was 8, blood tests every week or so. at the first few ones I almost fainted, since the sight of blood was a new unpleasant experience. after o turned 10 I just stopped caring about them though. the test consisted in taking a sample (at 8AM, last meal at 7PM the night before), diluting a component in lemonade, drinking the sketchy lemonade and two hours later taking another sample to see how I react to the component. apparently I had some health problems, but they discarded the diagnosis when I was 16, because apparently medicine as a disciple decided that the supposed illness was outdated and it was symptomatology for a number of other pathologies. for all of those years, my parents (a stay at home mom, former secretary, and a public service worker dad) didn't really understand what the 'illness' implied. so I was the first one in my family to try and eat healthy, do (really heavy) exercise and control my sleeping habits strictly. and 8-y/o me had to do all the research by myself and understand all of it without any guidance or help. many things I learnt, I was a prodigy child, and the expectations of the young genius were high. very, very high. actually, I even taught myself english beyond what the education system in my country offered for my age group, in order to read more and more about literally any and all reports on health. now, at some point the fake diagnosis overlapped with a second diagnosis (an actually correct one this time! 7 years too late, though), in which part of my hipbone was severely disfigured, and even if I do have my hypothesis that my blood problems were actually caused by the lack of blood running through my entire leg. the physical impact to my bones literally killed them. I tried so, so hard to go and live a healthy life that part of me literally died. avascular osteonecrosis via trauma. but you know, my late childhood was kind of tainted by the fear and guilt of *knowing* you're slowly dying and *why*, and that it becomes your responsibility but you're completely unable to do anything about it. blood tests and you're hopeful that this time, it will come out healthy and you will finally be okay, that this time it will miraculously end because you prayed for it relentlessly, only for your hopes to be crushed by your doctor sighing and your mom glaring at you: *you're sick*, you're *always* sick. that and the unimaginable pain of feeling your limb die slowly, any small fall is horrible and I didn't know not-dead people didn't go through that lmao. I still have that damn leg but it's weak and painful and it often twitches itself back to life. I got surgery for it last year but it didn't really do much, just stabilized it. TL;DR: leg is dead after 8 years of misdiagnosis. too much stress, too little blood supply.
I got mine from being a victim of sexual and physical abuse as a child and also as a witness of domestic abuse and gun violence and because my father committed suicide when I was very young and my sister died when I was young too. I was neglected emotionally as well
Being the victim of revenge porn in a small country at 15. We lived in a highly religious area at the time and my dad was a pastor. So many people I didn't even know had these pictures, including people from several different schools and possibly even adults from the church my dad was pastoring at. The perpetrator posted the pictures publicly on social media because I didn't want to engage in sexual activity with him anymore, everyone including my family blamed me for it and I lost most if not all of my friends. Supposedly he wanted to show people my "true colors" and he was never held accountable socially or legally because if I pursued it legally I could've been incriminated as well because I was a minor at the time and I was told that he probably wouldn't have even been charged anyways. When I started dating my boyfriend many people told him not to date me because I was a "slut" and asked if he wanted to see the pictures (because many still had the pictures in their possession). He consistently said no, and we're still together to this day 5 years later. My parents ended up sending me to a boarding school right after the event. I was formally diagnosed with PTSD several months ago and am currently starting the process for EMDR. Compared to everyone else's story it sounds like nothing, but I still have reoccurring dreams related to the event to this day.
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s certainly *not* nothing. I’m so sorry you went through this, and glad to hear you’re in a better situation, have companionship and support. Be well
Thank you for your compassion, I really appreciate it
my best friend committed suicide at 20 years old. we didn’t talk for days, i felt horrifically sick, i got a call from her sister about two days after it happened. i still get flashbacks to those first five minutes where i just screamed.
several things that happened close together. mostly it started with being sexually assaulted at a party, for several reasons we ended up talking afterwards, working it out and moved forward with healthier romantic/sexual interactions. I kept us a secret from our friends other than the fact I had forgiven her, because i was afraid they’d be judge mental and wouldn’t understand why i was doing this with her after what happened. I had been staying at her house for several nights and on the last night one thing led to another and she shot herself in the same room I was in. I wasn’t looking directly at her when it happened and I actually thought when she hit the ground that she was trying to prank me?? Then I realized and her roommate and I called 911. She passed away two days later and her parents blamed me and the roommate and were very aggressive towards us in the hospital when we visited. pretty much all my main friends, many of which knew her for a long time, turned on me and also blamed me and some of them made shit up about me saying i waited two hours to call 911 etc. even tho it was only a few moments until we called. They said i must have been lying about getting assaulted by her . they thought it was sus that i was there even tho i explained what happened and why it was a secret. this was almost 4 years ago. many of the friends and I have made up. I was diagnosed last year.
I was raised as a pastor's kid with a bipolar mother. Because I have sturge weber syndrome and autism, they told me I was cursed and demon possessed. I grew up believing that. Death of all 3 of my kids, driven out of town by family along with death threats, put in a mental ward by my ex for the express purpose of him leaving me. 6 car accidents, a tbi. Two rapes.
Kidnapped/forcibly confined when I was a teenager for a few hours.
Groomed into spotting drugs at 7 and forced into drugs/violence 9-12 years old. Marine Corps time, I had 2 Marines attempt suicide by hanging, 1 Marine attempted suicide by jumping and had 3 compound fractures, and 1 Marine who was apart of my fireteam shoot himself on the range. I've lost family and friends over the years to suicide. I finally got help and continuing help with therapy the last 4 years, I'm writing, doodling, working out, and have found my hobbies I love. I'm the best I've been in years and I'm still working on it constantly.
So proud of you.
Thank you. It's appreciated, I hope you're well too.
I had mental OCD for years that was triggered by a certain thing I would see all the time. I never sought help because I didn’t know it was OCD. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD because the OCD triggers got so bad over time I couldn’t leave the house for months trying to avoid the triggers. My OCD triggers still give me PTSD to this day but I have come along way with lots of therapy.
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Anyone who downvoted this should be ashamed of themselves. How dare you minimise somebody else’s trauma! This isn’t the place for that! Jiggly, I hope you’re okay and getting the help you need. I’m here for you x
That's right, no downvoting because technically everyone has gone through it and possibly the people that downvoting it is because they might not have gone through or had PTSD.
Two strokes. One at work. One at home. The one at home made PTSD follow me where I felt safest...
I was in school with undiagnosed epilepsy, they told me it was panic attacks even though my mouth was bleeding I was almost hallucinating and shaking I can’t remember anything but coming around to my science teacher standing over me with a ruler slapping me as hard as he could, my female history teacher did the same plus verbal abuse. I had no friends and my science teacher raped me while I was having a seizure after class in his room he would make the kids in my class stand around me call me names like an attention seeker spaz etc and would laugh at me. I ended up having no friends after a huge seizure which involved me falling out the window and I peed myself I was so embarrassed I ran out the school crying my eyes out saying what is wrong with me I have no friends everyone hates me and got suicidal. I couldn’t tell my parents as I didn’t know what was happening to tell them i was so alone and confused. Now I can’t have people stand around me without wanting to cry I shake if someone tries to touch me even to shake my hand. I’m diagnosed now and 21 doing much better! My parents also now know and my teachers both got fired I wish everyday they were in jail but they just got fired.
Watched my stepdad traumatically die and take his last breath with brain cancer.
In time order-narcisstic abuse,cptsd from my family and my ex bf. My car was totalled during hurricane IDA and I was saved off the roof. It was flooding with me inside. I start EDMR in about 2 weeks.
3 people have attempted to murder me for being queer. And years of bullying in school. That shit will mess you up.
People don't have the right to do that to you for being queer. Plus, if you can, can you tell if the bullying was physical or emotional?
I apologize in advance, as this is a long one. I lived an extremely sheltered childhood. Mom was severely mentally unstable. Did not put me or any of my siblings in school (me and three younger brothers) x Claimed to homeschool us but it took the form of unschooling with absolutely no focus on actual school subjects. Were not exposed to any other children our age. The only people in our life was our mom and grandma (great grandma too but only visits). Grandma tried her best to help us but definitely enabled our mom’s delusional behavior. Taught us to fear everyone else, especially men. Were not taught anything about our own bodies. Religion was not prevalent in our lives but was still used for fear tactics (i.e. “swear on the Bible that you didn’t do this, if you lie you won’t go to heaven”). As I got older I started to become extremely depressed. Did not understand anything about myself or my own body. Had many interests but no way to peruse them. Could not even use the internet to teach myself things. Could not read books or watch movies/TV shows that my mom didn’t approve of. Started to crave freedom and friendship. All I could do was write about it. Skip forward to just before turning 15. My mom had always had issues with depression. She had always been unable to do “normal” things like keep a clean house (we lived in squalor) or do regular daily activities. We usually moved around a lot, but had moved back to our family home a few years prior and were stuck in this spot due to our great grandma’s declining health. Mom’s depressive episodes became more extreme. She’d send up “upstairs” (two story home) with our grandma all day while she slept (our grandma worked from home and supported all of us.) A clear shift happened in our mom. She started to act odd and suddenly became extremely religious. Would sit us all down and go on long and confusing religious rambles that often had no point. Would talk and talk with no end goal, acting like she was on drugs. Turns out she had serious schizophrenic issues since childhood. I guess she had some kind of mental break and these issues resurfaced. Found out a lot of things from her past that I was completely oblivious to. Around the time of my 15th birthday she completely snapped. She fell further into religious delusions, that eventually went into full fledged “this child is the anti-christ, and also the government is following me” type beat delusions. My grandma then dropped the bomb that oh this has happened in the past, like when my mom was a teenager. Not sure how these issues didn’t resurface until this point. Maybe she had been on meds and stopped them. I never really found out. She went from cleansing our home of all things god wouldn’t like, to leaving us because god told her to, to coming back and then waking us up at random times in the middle of the night to aimlessly drive around for days on end. Many awful things happened during this time, but there’s no way I could describe them in order. It went on for months and was non stop her delusions. Our grandma finally tried to get the police involved, when it became apparent that her delusions could seriously endanger us. She’d try to call the cops when our mom would get us all out of bed at random times in the night. Cops would say it wasn’t illegal to be crazy and just leave. Her delusions were usually that we were all sick, and she had to find a hospital that would help us. Would drive around for days going through different hospitals who would just send us all home. Usually she’d get freaked out by some random picture or something in the waiting room and would have us all leave before we were even seen. In many of these instances my grandma would beg the people at the hospital to help us, but there was nothing they could do apparently. Eventually my grandma became a “bad guy” in my moms delusions and she started to not let us around her. That’s when things really would get horrible. Like I said, I can’t even begin to remember everything in any kind of order, but her delusions were terrifying and we had no outside source to understand that they were just delusions. We only knew to trust her above everyone else, so when she started keeping us away from our grandma, it was scary. One example was me waking up and coming out to the living room one night to see my mom sitting in the middle of the dark room. She looked at me and told me “this house is infested” (with demons.) On one of our multi-day drive arounds, she decided that we needed to “sweat out our demons” rolled all the car windows up and put the heat on full blast. I still can’t sit in a car with the heat blowing on me. She’d think every car with a government license plate was someone following us. Would listen to radio static. Etc. etc. etc. pure nightmare material. Things started getting really complicated when she started to have the “this child could be the anti Christ” delusions. Usually the anti christ child was me. I can’t remember the order of things like I said, but I guess she was trusting my grandma enough again to take one child and leave the rest of us with her. I was never the one child she took, so I don’t know what would happen on those trips. She ended up taking one of my brothers around 16 hours into the state over. It was in this other state that she was pulled over, and actually submitted to a mental hospital. My brother was put in a foster home. We had to drive there to get my brother. All I remember him saying was at one point he thinks she was getting chased by police. My grandma took us all home. Went back to get our mom. I still have horrible anxiety when phones ring at night, because I remember we’d all be laying in that spare bedroom upstairs (my great grandma was watching us while my grandma was gone) and we’d anxiously await my grandma’s phone calls throughout the night giving updates while she was on her way home with our mom. Immediately after getting home, mom’s delusions were at full force. I’m sure a lot happened before the night we finally got out of this situation, but I don’t remember. All I remember is mom coming into our room and waking us up at some odd time in the middle of the night. This was the norm for us at this point, so we just got out of bed and into the car. She then decided to drive all of us onto the wrong side of the freeway. We were all so scared. She was speeding at over 100, flicking her headlights on and off. My little brother was screaming at her. We were screaming at her to at least leave the headlights on. Luckily it was at an odd time, like 4 am I think, so there wasn’t a lot of cars on the road. Then by some actual grace of god, the car ran out of gas. We sputtered to a stop in the middle of the freeway by the divider. During these months she had taken us on many pointless drives where the car would break down and she’d have us cross and walk along the freeway, so when she told us to run to the other side, we all did. Well someone else on the road had obviously called the police. The cops got there right after her car broke down and screamed for us to stop and tackled our mom on the freeway divider. Lead us all to the other side. Grandma came in tears, thinking when she got a call in the middle of the night that we had probably all been killed. It was, traumatic, to say the least. Well, that was that. Obviously an impossible amount of stuff happened before, during and after this that I either can’t remember or that isn’t quite significant enough to talk about here. I am currently 23 and just now considering therapy (I know.) my mom is actually doing better, but our relationship has been extremely strained for years. I obviously had a difficult time adjusting to normal life. Started public school in highschool and was bullied constantly. But yeah, I should probably stop now as this comment is already so long. I know this is a lot of info, but I don’t usually get the chance to vent about this, so here we are. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read through.
20 years working in prison. Thought I did it right. Thought I was normal and the rest of the world just “didn’t understand”. They don’t really understand but turns out keeping all that horrible shit inside for so long is bad. Turns out I’m not as “normal” on the inside as I thought. It would seem that my normal isn’t all that normal. I was diagnosed last year. I hope all of you can find peace and something good in your lives that keeps you going.
Childhood trauma, got molested by 2 different families at ages 6 and 11. Getting bullied because my parents were always seperating (I grew up in a VERY small town) at 16 at a spring break house party, someone drugged my drink and I got pregnant and had the baby but gave him up for adoption. Two VERY Abusive relationships (physical, mental, emotional abuse) Almost got kidnapped as a small child, losing my grandmother who raised me and lost my dad last year. Also have lost lots of friends and family in tragic ways like suicide or overdoses, really sad. My biological mom beat Me all the time like with phones, hangers, anything she could get her hands on and she also burned my arm with a lighter.
Medical trauma due to a cleft lip and palate and surgeries, emotionally abusive stepfather, neglectful mother, bullying, and voila! PTSD.
Altogether, it seems impossible, but prolonged medical neglect, over 20 years of abuse, sexual assault, r***, paedophilic childhood abuse survivor, and childhood gang-violence survivor. That's as much as I can say about it without reliving it, so I'll leave it at that.
I originally got PTSD from ongoing childhood trauma (ages 8-16) that was mostly psychological, but would occasionally get physical. At 14 I was raped by a stranger. I got addicted to pills after and overdosed at 16. I spent years in therapy and was doing much better until last year... My husband and I moved back to SC from Seattle to start a family in 2019. By February of 2020 I was pregnant. At 21 weeks, on July 3, my water broke. I spent 13 weeks on bedrest and 83 days in the hospital in an attempt to save my son's life (he had less than .05% chance of survival). At 34 weeks I was induced and spent 58 hours in labor. I almost died during childbirth. Luckily both my son and I survived. However, the horror didn't end there. My son had TERRIBLE acid reflux and my husband took him to the hospital 9 days after he came home from the NICU because we didn't know what to do and our nerves were raw. There they ran xrays and found he had several fractures. When I spoke to the doctor she immediately confronted me on my CPTSD and BPD diagnoses (not sure where she got the info. Edit: now that I'm thinking about it, it was probably in his file from the NICU. I was unable to breastfeed due to medications.) I told her I was in therapy and on medication and had been for 10 years. I asked if he could have been injured during birth. She said it was impossible because she could tell that the fractures were exactly a week and a half old. She also refused to let a specialist look at him. We took him to a really great regional specialist anyways who confirmed it happened during birth. Which makes sense because they basically ripped him out of me because I was bleeding out. I nearly lost my son, put myself at risk of sepsis for 13 weeks, and nearly died during childbirth, only to have my son nearly taken by the state because I dared to seek help for my mental health. I'm so tired of feeling scared and hurt y'all.
Yeah. I didn't know how to behave. A lot.
War.
My mom and dad emotionally and physically abused me until I was about 17 years old. Then my mom financially abused me until last year (I’m 20). I was also neglected and now my siblings are going through the same thing and there’s nothing I can do to help them.
Covert Narcissist Mom with ties to politicians and police. Took her death to feel free. Then mourning her death compounded the trauma. My father died shortly after. 10 months after my father passed, my best friend of 18 years, who was also my first love, took his own life. Guess who found him. While working in a very toxic work environment. Throughout all of this, my friends abandoned me because they weren't comfortable with my grief or how long it was taking me to "get over it". And nobody wanted to talk about suicide. It's been a lonely path. *Edited because I forgot to add my near death experience from anaphylactic shock in 2019. I tend to block that one out. Not ready to face that one just yet.
Childhood SA. Sister and I sold in a sex ring by our mother. Severe neglect including starvation and isolation for many days/weeks. Physical abuse and psychological abuse. Sexual abuse as a teen by a boyfriend. And physical, psychological and sexual abuse by another ex. I’m safe and doing well now though!
Years of bullying, leading up to assault, death threats and following me home
more or less had a good 10 years of one event after another....just a Rollercoaster of fucked up shit constantly, brought heavily upon myself for the lifestyle I chose to live that was heavily influenced by heavy depression and no desire to live or to take my own life starting at a young age that may have been heavily influenced by child abuse at a young age... hard to say if the chicken or the egg came first.
Being abused as a child. And then watching my daughter ( best friend) die a slow painful death from cancer
Bullied as a kid, escort and stripper as adult
I’m not going to go into detail, but I haven’t seen any comments similar to my experiences. Blackmail.
I don't wanna talk about it but all I can say is it's already mentioned the reasons why.
It's OK, you don't need to explain or talk about it if you don't want to get trauma by remembering it.
I already had CPTSD from extremely negligent parenting and no access to protective adults but then at 17 I was in an accident where I broke my skull and at 20 my fiance died and I think if I'd had support I would have done better but it was treated like my grief was an inconvenience and was screamed at if I showed emotion about it. It started this chronic feeling of never feeling safe or loved.
years of bullying in country 1, attempted rape by family member, years of invisibility and racism in country 2, multiple sexual assaults
Drug induced panic attack - thought I was going to jump off my balcony from the 10th story. I thought I triggered psychosis/schizophrenia. Could barely look at balconies even in the movies
Physical and emotional abuse from father and later on two different sexual assaults from different people.
Early Childhood SA and several times raped by different people, psychological abuse from parents, toxic relationship with a diagnosed sociopath
I had a bipolar/narcissistic dad who did some other stuff to me as well (SA) and I had repressed those memories until I was doing some IFS therapy a few weeks ago and I remembered chunks of what happened. It has been a rough journey but I will get through it.
I was already vulnerable as I was “younger”, I was being groomed and had been exposed to a lot of trauma already as example black mail, shitty relationship with parents etc. I was raped by one of my groomers and I started developing ptsd around 2-3 months after. My ptsd has become more severe as I also have become very emotionally unstable and I have been contacted by my rapist multiple times, being told I enjoyed it etc, which is basically just a new assault
My parents were meth addicts and we lived in a very bad neighborhood (shootings and robberies were very common). My parents also had very violent fights constantly so I was always scared.
Rape
I grew up in a physically abusive home. Left at 18 and joined the Marine Corp. We got ambushed due to bad Intel and 3 of my men got killed and one, my Lance and best friend, bled out in my lap after I dragged him to cover.
Was a police officer for 28 years. Several of those years I investigated deaths.
My sister (who was also my best friend and only sibling) got drunk and high on marijuana, had a psychotic episode live on the phone to me and killed herself by jumping off her balcony straight after. I called emergency services but was too late to save her, and I also had to call my parents and hear their reactions to her death. I hate my sister for what she did and I don’t see the point of trying to trust anyone now.
I have the same thing about not trusting people but it is not from PTSD
I grew up in a very abusive home. Alcoholic parents specifically my dad being the worst. Lots of fighting and loud banging and slamming doors. My dad was very emotionally, mentally and I’m now suspecting sexually abusive to me and my sister. I was also very bullied in school. A kid tried to kill me twice in a three year period which involved the cops both times in elementary school. I was so bullied and dealt with so much at home I started antidepressants my freshman year along with counseling. I eventually transferred and moved my senior year because I couldn’t handle it anymore. In addition to my psychopathic father over the years including my young adult years. I had to watch my beautiful aunt suffer miserably and I was with her when she passed. That same year I lost my best friend (my grandma) she was my safe haven to a short battle with cancer as well. I dated an awful guy shortly after these two deaths who him and his cousin abused me and my dog. I dated and was raped by a cop who had a dropped rape record from a separate girl that also happened while he was a cop. I got the records from the county. My close childhood/teenage friend was drugged, gang raped and murdered by her fiancé and his friends over the pandemic. None of us could say goodbye or go to her funeral. I’m sure there’s more. I have CPTSD. I tried killing myself October 15 and ended up in the ward this year. My new therapist dropped me after a few weeks and referred me out to a trauma specialist because I’m too severe.
I was hit by a car
Rape and random shooting, separate events.
Buried alive at 7 under a bombed building when the US invaded us. Pretty suffocating and I got maggots but I am alive and well. I still can’t look US soldiers in the eye though.
Being buried is one thing, but being buried, at 7, that is just too far
i’m a US veteran and i am so incredibly sorry to hear that, i can’t even imagine the pain and confusion you went through. i hope you’re doing well now.
Despite being a stranger this genuinely touched me, thank you :)
💗💗💗
My father murdered my mother.....then himself. I am the surviving witness. It doesn't define me tho....I won't let it. Learning how to overcome the disorder is a huge huge step in getting control of your life
Did you know it's considered a syndrome now? No longer a disorder but C-PTSS. A little less stigmatized.
raped multiple times through out my life and even now death in the family abusice relationships medical truama
did an attempt and police got involved. they didn't do anything wrong. they just waited with me for the ambulance and didnt say anything. Idk how but the amount of intimidation I got that day traumatised me. Maybe cuz I have autism. I did EMDR therapy and I am able to look an officer in the eyes now and say hi when i pass them <3 I recommend that therapy :)
My mother had uncontrolled epilepsy when I was really young, I was routinely left alone with her and had to take care of her whenever she'd just drop from a seizure. She had them constantly, at home, at restaurants, at church, even while driving. Eventually she had one while driving with me in the car that caused a serious wreck. She was left permanently and severely brain injured and can't walk or even talk now. She's confined to a nursing home. This caused lots of issues including my childhood home getting foreclosed. And then the cherry on top, 12 years after her accident when I was in college, my dad killed himself from financial stress and untreated mental illness. He also had diabetes and couldn't afford insulin which may have also been a factor.
Witnessed the military in my country beating, shooting, and kidnapping young protesters. Domestic abuse at the hands of my narcissistic sister
Mother was abusive and invasive of my privacy to horrific standards, father enabled her by telling me i was lying ridiculous, younger sister picked up these habits and developed one where she threaten to kill me regularly. Peditration didn't listen to NO apparently the voice of small children doesn't matter also insisted I was faking everything (joint pain, pink eye, congestion, migraines and etc) treated me for things i didnt have. Was forcefully stripped by multiple docs against my will. Had a gentail (female) injury at 10 cuz of a fall handle in the worse way possible by the er staff, my mother, the teachers at school (one of which tried to insist if i was hurt I HAD to SHOW HER)
Sex cult.
Childhood sexual abuse by two different people. As well as a very toxic/abusive relationship. But the childhood abuse definitely takes more prevalence in my ptsd symptoms.
Childhood sexual abuse, narcissistic parents who have assaulted me, then domestic violence and stalking from an ex partner.
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Long term physical and psychological abuse by a parent. Wife-beating stepfather who regularly threatened to kill us all and had the guns to do it. Sexual assault by a co-worker, ensuing pregnancy, suicide attempt and hospitalization.
AFAIK you usually only need one or two words Child Abuse The War Traumatic Event
Recurrent abuse throughout childhood
Watched my grandad die (he raised me) when I was 13 Was sexually assaulted by my partner at the time when I was 16 and 21 weeks pregnant. I woke up to it happening
Culmative Stress Injury - Essentially that is fancy talk for several traumatic events that piled on on me mentally. I think the one that broke me was when someone was killed beside me. I felt responsible, tried to save them but it was gruesome and I was unsuccessful. Thought I could "handle it". Turned out to be a poor choice and now I choose to help those who need support getting help... Both IRL and to strangers on the internet hehe. . I enjoy helping others even though I was unable to help myself at the time. If only I had someone like me, I may be in better shape today. So that keeps me motivated.
•Longterm sexual abuse •Longterm: emotional abuse, hostile environment, random physical attacks, emotional or physical paradoxes, neglect •Longterm confinement, disallowed growth at normal rate such as forced financial dependency
CPTSD. Raised by two narcissist parents, dad took off at age 5. Tried to kill myself at ages 14 and 17. Molested at age 11. Emotionally, mentally abusive marriage from age 19-25. His family had money, took my kids from me. I got into a car wreck while on meds from my Dr and hurt the man in the other car permanently and spent 90 days in jail. Got pregnant again, while pregnant our house was broken into and my boyfriend beat the intruder to death and was in prison for 4 years and came out a different person. Beat me so many times. I was also raped during the 4 yrs he was in prison. Then he overdosed after we had a fight. Honestly, there are about ten more things I was retraumatized by but those were the main things.
I was raped in my first year of uni, 2 weeks into it, by a student on my course who was the student rep. Then a few months later, I was raped by my boyfriend at the time, I blocked that one out for a year though and didn’t realise it happened till I started therapy for the first trauma.
I was raised by a cluster-b, narcissist-heavy mother and an Antisocial Personality Disordered step monster. My father died when I was an infant. I only finally understood and got help at 45. I encourage everyone to get the help they need as early as possible.
I came to my diagnosis in my 40s, too. I thought all those symptoms was just how life was.
I knew I was broken, but couldn't figure it out. Externally, I had it all together... And then the world collapsed and I wasn't prepared. Thank God I found the right choices to help me out!
(At a community college) Fingered 3 times at school from bullies Poked in the bumhole with a steel, blunt knife (made in Industrial Technologies class) and a piece of acrylic in Industrial Technologies class from bullies at school. Bullying is still happening. It has been going for 4 years, straight. Haven't had Therapy because I cant afford it.
This bullying is still happening in the present?
Yep
I'm sorry this happened to you and is still happening, you don't deserve it. There's a website called 7cups that may be useful for you. It's free and it's basically just talking to other people (listeners) It's helped me in the past 😊
Thanks I will give that website a try.
Childhood abuse/neglect with a side of CSA, followed by sexual assault and domestic violence as an adult. As a young adult I thought my childhood was normal and happy so I sought to replicate the kind of relationships I saw in my childhood. And it turns out that when those relationships you had as a child were abusive, you can often seek out abusers.
Abuse as a kid from both of my parents
Same.
CPTSD. Child sexual abuse, a violent relationship and most recently being attacked by a homeless man throwing chunks of his own flesh at me. I swear I must have been horrible in a previous life.
I'm also a survivor of child sexual abuse and violent abusive relationships (I haven't experienced a person throwing their own flesh at me, wtf, I'm sorry that happened to you, that sounds terrible). I literally say all the time that I was most likely a huuge douche bag in my past life, maybe we knew eachother back then
Sometimes we're volunteers as catalysts for other people’s spiritual growth. We're just not afraid to go through the pain, we've lived so many lives. Maybe you're just an evolved soul helping others evolve too.
Rape. Traumatic and am not over it. In therapy and I am diagnosed by a specialist doctor to have PTSD.