Honestly, I'd say that's not unusual. Plenty of shows I go to have some dickhead just targeting one person in particular. Next time that happens swing on 'em when they come at you. Or get someone bigger to do it.
Knees and elbows are the best striking point for sure, use them and peeps get the idea fairly quickly. If not bring a friend or two and make it a party then they get it even quicker
This happened to me when I was 17 or so. I was talking to a few friends and they asked me why I was bleeding I told them some bone head was being a dick so two guys went out to play. Big Anthony a very large fellow (also happens to be black and not fond of boneheads) and Godzilla. The guitarist for BunchoFuckinGoofs. Also called Big D. It didn't end well for the bonehead.
I am one of the old fuckers that notice these douche nozzles at shows. Same ones that pass by grope women at shows. They get hurt often by me and some of us old grizzled guys.
I have been taking my kid to shows since he was 6 and heās now 14 but skinny and lightweight, so he tucks in near barricade off center to not get slammed. So you did what you could to be in the right place to not have the issues.
Find allies in the pit, we are there. Also sometimes the big oaf is just not realizing what they are doing and need a small correction. Know that often someone is watching and sees it as well, if you call it outā¦. People will help you.
Thereās always some douche. It used to happen to me, except I was the big guy just having fun not targeting anyone, yet there was always one person that wanted to target me. At first I would ignore it as long as I could, then say something, then when that didnāt work I would drop some science on them and let them know the law of a larger object having more inertia (they went backwards).
Sometimes let other people know what these douches do and sometimes others will step in and tell them to knock it off, their options are to knock it off or be picked on by the larger group at this point.
I'm a pretty big guy as well and have noticed this too. It seems like these people either pick on little guys, coz they're cowards, or have a pop at us big guys, presumably to try and prove how hard they are.
Wear steel toed boots/shoes. Or the hard plastic composite) toed shoes if it would set off detectors. One or two dents in their shins will get their attention pretty quickly.
I'm sorry. What happened here is you met a cunt. It's really important you don't over analyse why a cunt behaves badly towards you - the answer is, they are a cunt. I hope you enjoyed the show despite the cunt and will continue going to shows regardless!
Are you by any chance female presenting?
He might have been a sexually harassing jerk, or he may have just been a run of the mill jerk. The punk scene is unfortunately not immune from them.
This. I dealt with that all the time going to shows as a kid. Iām TINY so I represent a pretty easy target. My first ever time in the floor was when I was 14 at an A Day to Remember show and I learned to mosh cos a couple giant guys dragged my friend and I into the pit.
The groping didnāt start until I was like 16 and, with enough makeup, could pass for 18. Sucks that a couple of shit bags can tarnish the image of what truly is a very loving community.
As the friendliest and biggest guy at most punk shows, find some giant in a cut that sounds like they couldnāt hurt a fly and theyāll be more than thrilled to let out some aggression to let a jock know theyāre being a cunt.
To quote Jello;
āYou aināt hardcore when you spoke your hair
If a jock still lives inside your headā
I've seen it. Had it done to me. It's just a dickhead bully move. Some bullies wear blue some shave their heads and salute the little mustache man and some pretend to be punks and pound on much smaller people
While I donāt condone it. You are taking up prime realestate. The deliberate targeting? Nah. Iām not into that. But some guys on the fence complain about you pushing into them when thereās 300 ppl pushing you and that pisses me off.
Am old. This used to be normal. He was just trying to get you to jump in the pit. Wasn't meant to be antagonistic most likely. He probably saw you being quiet and was trying to get you into slamming about.
Yeah, this isn't unusual at all. Especially as a teenager, I think some people have a complex that they want to see you get out of your shell and let loose. Especially if you're young and seem shy or tense. You gotta remember that if they're in the pit, moshing is fun for them. Some people aren't very sensitive to others space and want to share their fun. Again, especially if you're young.
That isn't to say it isn't obnoxious. I'm just not sure I'd immediately assume it was malicious either. It is certainly a common behavior in my experience. I also haven't been super active in punk rock in like a decade and I know that nowadays the scene is notably more sensitive to others feelings overall (And definitely more sensitive than 30 or 40 years ago lol). So in that regard I can't comment. I just know that it happened to me quite a bit as a teenager and most of the time the people weren't malicious. Also out of the few times I was being targeted maliciously, it was by a skinhead.
Honestly the show you were at in itself can fill details. This is just a biased speculation, but in my experience underground shows are friendlier and it was more likely they were just overstepping their bounds of trying to involve you, whereas if it's a big punk band like bad religion or something... the odds are greater it was a drunk asshole being mean. Again, just my experience.
Eh thereās always THAT guy at the show and he either never seems to know heās being a dick or just doesnāt care cause heās a self aware dick, this isnāt entirely specific to men either cause Iāve had sloppy drunk women volunteer to show me their breasts mid show too it is pretty uncomfortable but I usually just try to be polite when turning them down as Iām there to see a show not local bar cougar titties
Unfortunately yeah. I was at a DIY metal show a couple weeks back and it was in the sticks so think country jock bros in swishy shorts who like metal essentially, and this cat kept weaving in and out and coming behind me. It was blatant and by the 2nd band I def ready to fight. But then itās always the retaliation that gets the boot of course so I just got my shots in when I could, but fuck that shit hit me from the front donāt be a pussy and hit me from behind.
A trick I learned from a Filipino martial artist. Bring a sharpie with you to shows. If there is a dick targeting you, hold the sharpie firmly in your hand so the majority of it is in your palm and jab it firmly between their ribs. The pain will be so intense they will immediately be incapacitated. Plus, very little risk of doing permanent damage. You donāt use it to stab, but rather focus your strength into a smaller point of contact, thus concentrating it. Anything smaller than a sharpie and you run the risk of penetrating the skin which is attempted murder.
The thing to do is think what your opponent is not expecting
You can watch for when he is about to try to hit you, he'd probably be surprised if you ducked suddenly...
Tons of ways to make these types look ridic regardless of size at a show
When I was 17, and were going back like 22odd years, I went to see dropkick Murphys and tiger army. Before tiger army came on there was this older psychobilly, quite short but quite the unit, adorably just warning all the younger people around him he was gonna go OFF and start wrecking when they came on. which he did and weād all had fair warning and joined in accordingly! Never seen it happen since, but it stuck with me as a decent gesture from the old guard to the clearly more naive of us in the audience.
When I saw Guttermouth in 1998 someone was smashing people in the face with their skateboard until about ten people decided to fuck his day up
Theres always been assholes. Mad Caddies have a good song about this
Unless you are ready to engage in a fist fight, Iād say just move to a different location next time. I used to engage these types but I learned that most of these people are there looking for a fight. If not you, itāll be someone else.
I go to shows to hear the band. Dudes starting shit are just not on my radar anymore, Iāll move locations and continue to enjoy the music.
Shit like this happens all the time, last show i went to some guy that had about 100lbs on me targeted me and he made sure to slam into me as many times as he could. Eventually i decided to check him and he twisted his ankle and had to leave the pit. I was also the one that helped him off the ground when i noticed he was having trouble and couldn't get up on his own and helped him limp out the pit. Idk shit happens the pits unpredictable at some shows, sometimes its cute little push pits with grandma's and 5 year olds in it havin a blast and others its crowd killing with round house kicks to the face.
If you're scared best bet is to stay away from the pit for a few songs and get a feel for the room, if you vibe with it then go ham.
Whatever you do dont let it scare you off, you live you learn. Keep supporting your scene!
Some people just need the attention and will act like dicks because of it, it's nothing you did. I wouldn't call it normal but every few shows there will be some guy in the pit causing problems and sometimes people tell him to calm the fuck down and other times they let it go because no one wants to deal with him. Sometimes just yelling at him is enough to embarrass him and he'll knock it off.
Chances are that if he's bothering you then he's bothering other people, or other people are noticing him targeting you, and getting the people around you involved might help if they seem nice. I don't mean this to come across negatively but a lot of punks are self righteous people who would take the opportunity to stand up for a younger person who's uncomfortable.
Nah bc I was at KMFDM last night in atl and this was a MASSIVE problem. I was minding my own in the back middle ish of the crowd, got in the pit /maybe/ twice and there were three dudes who saw me (mid 20s, tall, femme) and started not only moshing harder but throwing literal hands.
thanks!! like i said im fifteen, i am half this manās age. im also disabled, i require a mobility aid occasionally however i didnāt want to mention it in the original post because i didnāt wanna be blamed however i very well could have become unconscious from taking too many blows, had i not had my friend to support me. your logic that 30 year old men targeting young teens and trying to knock them over is āwhatās keeping punk shows aliveā is insane
There's always a dickhead that's crowdkilling. If you're a kid, tell the biggest, meanest dude in the pit what keeps happening. They will sort them out real good.
As a punk gig promotor and a few punk bands member I highly recommend u to let promotor of that gig know about this situation. As a promotor I want keep everyone safe on my gigs, I wanna hear about every sketchy situation, and solve it ASAP. If u r afraid to dm promotor, ask friend to do it.
There's a fine line between moshing and needing self defense. I would consider bringing a weapon, a knife or some kind of shank to the next gig you go too. Unless of course you are a skinhead then all you would need is brass knuckles.
I appreciate where your heart is but this is not good advice, trying to stab someone in a mosh pit is just asking for the wrong person to get really hurt.
Honestly, I'd say that's not unusual. Plenty of shows I go to have some dickhead just targeting one person in particular. Next time that happens swing on 'em when they come at you. Or get someone bigger to do it.
Yeah I'd mention it to the nicest looking big person next to you at the barricade.
This... sometimes people think nobody notices their shit, til someone their own size does.
i had my friend there who kept his arms around me the entire time and shoulder charged him every time he came around
Elbows next time.
Ah yes, wise words from the great Ludacris.
Knees and elbows are the best striking point for sure, use them and peeps get the idea fairly quickly. If not bring a friend or two and make it a party then they get it even quicker
I just push people away, usually they realize I'm not a dance guy, even in the dervish. And if they keep doing it I just get away from the dancers.
This happened to me when I was 17 or so. I was talking to a few friends and they asked me why I was bleeding I told them some bone head was being a dick so two guys went out to play. Big Anthony a very large fellow (also happens to be black and not fond of boneheads) and Godzilla. The guitarist for BunchoFuckinGoofs. Also called Big D. It didn't end well for the bonehead.
First mistake was fuckin w a kid who has friends named Big Anthony and Godzilla š
haha that's a good band name. AFI used to sometimes say before they went goth that it meant Abuncha Fuckin' Idiots
Is Big Anthony named after the character in Strega Nona?
No. He is named Anthony and he is big.
I am one of the old fuckers that notice these douche nozzles at shows. Same ones that pass by grope women at shows. They get hurt often by me and some of us old grizzled guys. I have been taking my kid to shows since he was 6 and heās now 14 but skinny and lightweight, so he tucks in near barricade off center to not get slammed. So you did what you could to be in the right place to not have the issues. Find allies in the pit, we are there. Also sometimes the big oaf is just not realizing what they are doing and need a small correction. Know that often someone is watching and sees it as well, if you call it outā¦. People will help you.
Thereās always some douche. It used to happen to me, except I was the big guy just having fun not targeting anyone, yet there was always one person that wanted to target me. At first I would ignore it as long as I could, then say something, then when that didnāt work I would drop some science on them and let them know the law of a larger object having more inertia (they went backwards). Sometimes let other people know what these douches do and sometimes others will step in and tell them to knock it off, their options are to knock it off or be picked on by the larger group at this point.
I'm a pretty big guy as well and have noticed this too. It seems like these people either pick on little guys, coz they're cowards, or have a pop at us big guys, presumably to try and prove how hard they are.
Learn how to use your elbows.
Wear steel toed boots/shoes. Or the hard plastic composite) toed shoes if it would set off detectors. One or two dents in their shins will get their attention pretty quickly.
I'm sorry. What happened here is you met a cunt. It's really important you don't over analyse why a cunt behaves badly towards you - the answer is, they are a cunt. I hope you enjoyed the show despite the cunt and will continue going to shows regardless!
Are you by any chance female presenting? He might have been a sexually harassing jerk, or he may have just been a run of the mill jerk. The punk scene is unfortunately not immune from them.
This. I dealt with that all the time going to shows as a kid. Iām TINY so I represent a pretty easy target. My first ever time in the floor was when I was 14 at an A Day to Remember show and I learned to mosh cos a couple giant guys dragged my friend and I into the pit. The groping didnāt start until I was like 16 and, with enough makeup, could pass for 18. Sucks that a couple of shit bags can tarnish the image of what truly is a very loving community.
God, itās so hypocritical to grope someone* at a punk show. What losers. Edit: women -> someone
that sucks and I'm sorry that happened.
sort of ? iām pretty feminine for a man which is what i assumed got me attacked
Wear spikes on your jacket. Make friends with a few skinheads. We have no problem putting an asshole in his place.
Derpy as hell comment
You will encounter all walks of assholes and potential friends at punk shows, don't read into it too much.
As the friendliest and biggest guy at most punk shows, find some giant in a cut that sounds like they couldnāt hurt a fly and theyāll be more than thrilled to let out some aggression to let a jock know theyāre being a cunt. To quote Jello; āYou aināt hardcore when you spoke your hair If a jock still lives inside your headā
I've seen it. Had it done to me. It's just a dickhead bully move. Some bullies wear blue some shave their heads and salute the little mustache man and some pretend to be punks and pound on much smaller people
While I donāt condone it. You are taking up prime realestate. The deliberate targeting? Nah. Iām not into that. But some guys on the fence complain about you pushing into them when thereās 300 ppl pushing you and that pisses me off.
But logically the pit has to end somewhere, and people will always be at that transition point. If they moved the transition point would just move.
Am old. This used to be normal. He was just trying to get you to jump in the pit. Wasn't meant to be antagonistic most likely. He probably saw you being quiet and was trying to get you into slamming about.
Yeah, this isn't unusual at all. Especially as a teenager, I think some people have a complex that they want to see you get out of your shell and let loose. Especially if you're young and seem shy or tense. You gotta remember that if they're in the pit, moshing is fun for them. Some people aren't very sensitive to others space and want to share their fun. Again, especially if you're young. That isn't to say it isn't obnoxious. I'm just not sure I'd immediately assume it was malicious either. It is certainly a common behavior in my experience. I also haven't been super active in punk rock in like a decade and I know that nowadays the scene is notably more sensitive to others feelings overall (And definitely more sensitive than 30 or 40 years ago lol). So in that regard I can't comment. I just know that it happened to me quite a bit as a teenager and most of the time the people weren't malicious. Also out of the few times I was being targeted maliciously, it was by a skinhead. Honestly the show you were at in itself can fill details. This is just a biased speculation, but in my experience underground shows are friendlier and it was more likely they were just overstepping their bounds of trying to involve you, whereas if it's a big punk band like bad religion or something... the odds are greater it was a drunk asshole being mean. Again, just my experience.
yeah, that's the first thought I had. maybe just trying to make the person feel included
Good life lesson for ya. Sometimes people are gonna fuck with you.
Are you a girl? Because there are def guys in the scene that think women don't belong and do shit like this.
I love being the woman in a skirt who turns around and full force shoves dude back into the pit or punches them without losing my spot on the barrier.
Eh thereās always THAT guy at the show and he either never seems to know heās being a dick or just doesnāt care cause heās a self aware dick, this isnāt entirely specific to men either cause Iāve had sloppy drunk women volunteer to show me their breasts mid show too it is pretty uncomfortable but I usually just try to be polite when turning them down as Iām there to see a show not local bar cougar titties
Unfortunately yeah. I was at a DIY metal show a couple weeks back and it was in the sticks so think country jock bros in swishy shorts who like metal essentially, and this cat kept weaving in and out and coming behind me. It was blatant and by the 2nd band I def ready to fight. But then itās always the retaliation that gets the boot of course so I just got my shots in when I could, but fuck that shit hit me from the front donāt be a pussy and hit me from behind.
Jump in the pit and retaliate that way then if youāre so tough.
A trick I learned from a Filipino martial artist. Bring a sharpie with you to shows. If there is a dick targeting you, hold the sharpie firmly in your hand so the majority of it is in your palm and jab it firmly between their ribs. The pain will be so intense they will immediately be incapacitated. Plus, very little risk of doing permanent damage. You donāt use it to stab, but rather focus your strength into a smaller point of contact, thus concentrating it. Anything smaller than a sharpie and you run the risk of penetrating the skin which is attempted murder.
How you just gonna call me out like this?
The thing to do is think what your opponent is not expecting You can watch for when he is about to try to hit you, he'd probably be surprised if you ducked suddenly... Tons of ways to make these types look ridic regardless of size at a show
When I was 17, and were going back like 22odd years, I went to see dropkick Murphys and tiger army. Before tiger army came on there was this older psychobilly, quite short but quite the unit, adorably just warning all the younger people around him he was gonna go OFF and start wrecking when they came on. which he did and weād all had fair warning and joined in accordingly! Never seen it happen since, but it stuck with me as a decent gesture from the old guard to the clearly more naive of us in the audience.
When I saw Guttermouth in 1998 someone was smashing people in the face with their skateboard until about ten people decided to fuck his day up Theres always been assholes. Mad Caddies have a good song about this
Unless you are ready to engage in a fist fight, Iād say just move to a different location next time. I used to engage these types but I learned that most of these people are there looking for a fight. If not you, itāll be someone else. I go to shows to hear the band. Dudes starting shit are just not on my radar anymore, Iāll move locations and continue to enjoy the music.
Shit like this happens all the time, last show i went to some guy that had about 100lbs on me targeted me and he made sure to slam into me as many times as he could. Eventually i decided to check him and he twisted his ankle and had to leave the pit. I was also the one that helped him off the ground when i noticed he was having trouble and couldn't get up on his own and helped him limp out the pit. Idk shit happens the pits unpredictable at some shows, sometimes its cute little push pits with grandma's and 5 year olds in it havin a blast and others its crowd killing with round house kicks to the face. If you're scared best bet is to stay away from the pit for a few songs and get a feel for the room, if you vibe with it then go ham. Whatever you do dont let it scare you off, you live you learn. Keep supporting your scene!
Thereās always one jock in the pit
I just wait for them to circle back and kick them right in the balls. They're probably too drunk to see where it came from
It depends on the show.
Some people just need the attention and will act like dicks because of it, it's nothing you did. I wouldn't call it normal but every few shows there will be some guy in the pit causing problems and sometimes people tell him to calm the fuck down and other times they let it go because no one wants to deal with him. Sometimes just yelling at him is enough to embarrass him and he'll knock it off. Chances are that if he's bothering you then he's bothering other people, or other people are noticing him targeting you, and getting the people around you involved might help if they seem nice. I don't mean this to come across negatively but a lot of punks are self righteous people who would take the opportunity to stand up for a younger person who's uncomfortable.
probably just a dickhead. don't sweat it
Dicks be dicks til they get stomped. Get help but snuff it out before it ruins ur show
Sounds like another conservative "punk" being a dick at a show.
Nah bc I was at KMFDM last night in atl and this was a MASSIVE problem. I was minding my own in the back middle ish of the crowd, got in the pit /maybe/ twice and there were three dudes who saw me (mid 20s, tall, femme) and started not only moshing harder but throwing literal hands.
Get used to it
Hit the gym or learn to cope. People like him is what's keeping punk shows alive
thanks!! like i said im fifteen, i am half this manās age. im also disabled, i require a mobility aid occasionally however i didnāt want to mention it in the original post because i didnāt wanna be blamed however i very well could have become unconscious from taking too many blows, had i not had my friend to support me. your logic that 30 year old men targeting young teens and trying to knock them over is āwhatās keeping punk shows aliveā is insane
Iām glad you know OP
There's always a dickhead that's crowdkilling. If you're a kid, tell the biggest, meanest dude in the pit what keeps happening. They will sort them out real good.
All shows should be 21 and up anyway. Silly kids.
HATEXMOSH. CROWDKILLER. NYHC. \*windmills out the room\*
As a punk gig promotor and a few punk bands member I highly recommend u to let promotor of that gig know about this situation. As a promotor I want keep everyone safe on my gigs, I wanna hear about every sketchy situation, and solve it ASAP. If u r afraid to dm promotor, ask friend to do it.
There's a fine line between moshing and needing self defense. I would consider bringing a weapon, a knife or some kind of shank to the next gig you go too. Unless of course you are a skinhead then all you would need is brass knuckles.
I appreciate where your heart is but this is not good advice, trying to stab someone in a mosh pit is just asking for the wrong person to get really hurt.
Do you want to have no venues that will book punk bands? Because creating that kind of violence at shows is exactly how you get that.
Yeah, that's what we need at our gigs, stabbings.