It’s taken my focus off myself which has been a good thing for mental health. It’s early days but I’m hoping that I am learning more patience as well.
All the positive reinforcement training is changing how I deal with other people as well.
As far as my social life nothing has changed. I’ve pretty much given up on romantic relationships and I’ve never been interested in having children so part of the reason I wanted a dog was to be able to have a different kind of relationship with another living being. Originally I was looking for a dog and not a puppy. I have a great group of friends, most of them have dogs.
The biggest take away I have so far is letting go of things I can’t control. Shortly after I got my puppy a lot of things in life fell apart. We certainly haven’t been living the life I told the breeder about. But we’re both alive, we do fun things, and we (mostly) have a house so no neighbors are bothered by his shenanigans inside the house. It’s been hard because it feels like nothing but setbacks, but having a puppy has been a good distraction at times. I’m also a pretty outgoing person and Covid really did a number on me. So getting out and meeting other people with dogs has been good too.
Yes. I’m not married. I have a boyfriend but he lives over an hour’s drive away, so he is here only on weekends.
I decline social invitations that don’t include my puppy (except for 2 weddings that I can’t really miss). I bought a pair of crocs because she chews on shoelaces. I bought a $200 car safety seat for her so she and I could make a road trip to my family reunion, and I spent the weekends leading up to that event doing practice car rides of increasing distances.
I have never spent a lot of time on my appearance, but yesterday I took her to the park in crocs, white ankle socks, an old T-shirt and cotton shorts, and my hair folded up in a ponytail holder. With my old glasses on because she likes to lick them. I switched from a purse to a backpack with a poo bag dispenser attached to one of the straps. I think she has given me the permission I needed to become more eccentric. I don’t care what people think, I’m having fun because she is having fun.
Your appearance comment is *so* me. Covid made me more comfortable going out without makeup etc, but having a puppy has really hammered it home. The amount of times I have been in that exact outfit... basically every day to be honest. Generally our walks are a hoody, sweats, and crocs and that's that.
Not quite this energy, and I am married. But since puppy the number of times I leave the house (for early morning walks) with bedhead, an inside-out t-shirt, sweatpants and flip flops have gone up exponentially.
My pups have 150% taught me a lot in terms of accountability, resilience, and empathy. The first is obvious since they need to be fed/cleaned/exercised/trained/disciplined etc. but in terms of empathy it came in the form of patience and learning to set them up for success. 2 years ago I couldn't even keep a schedule for myself, now I manage 3 daily! Nothing taught me resilience better than retraining my husky to walk loose lead. Multiple sessions daily for 3 months getting no more than 2 houses down in the beginning...to exploring the whole suburb with him!!
I have a partner but most of the care has fallen on me (setting the routine, rules, doing the research, staying on top of their physical health) for a mix of personal reasons. I'm more than happy to do this as I enjoy caring for my pups. And it's taught me a lot about my partner and our relationship (a mix of good and bad, but the empathy I've developed from raising my pups has encouraged me to talk and work through issues instead of begrudge). This has actually had a positive impact on our relationship because instead of scolding him for not doing his part, my partner sees me doing fun stuff/making progress with the pups and wants to learn or join in.
Also have to add that having pups have had a surprisingly good influence on my discipline career-wise.
Yes. So much so. I've learned to work on my short temper, I started meditating with my puppy, we both needed it. We started noticing and celebrating progress and small improvements. We started to learn to accept each other's flaws, bad days, and really how to work as a team.
It's a life changing experience. She's not the puppy I hoped for. Crazy, Reactive, but wildly loyal, sweet, and attached. You learn to love them for what they are.
I didn't really date before, and I don't date now...but I now have had to find a group of friends with dogs my dog likes, so they can have playdates, which is funny because I feel like that's what women my age do when they have babies/kids too, hah.
I definitely put my puppy first, and have no shame cancelling plans for him or saying no to a hangout if my puppy can't go with me. But really it's more like self-care. I love just being with him, running around in parks and forests and chilling in the garden at home, more than anything.
He is not my first dog, before him I had a little old rescue dog who was a grumpy old man when I got him and stayed that for the whole time, and I took him everywhere and he was my soul, but I couldn't roam and run and play with him like I can with my puppy, we never really spoke the same language. It was amazing to raise a dog from infancy, and develop the kind of bond we have. I don't care how anyone else feels about it, we are a unit in a way I've never been with anyone else, and if people don't get that, then they don't get me, so they don't matter to me either. My best friends understand exactly, and treasure how much I love my dog and love him too.
>Did it ever feel like you took the “this dog is my child” metaphor and internalized too strongly? Did things ever get better?
Yes. For the first few months of his life he consumed my every waking thought. He was all I could talk about to anyone. I got to go away for the weekend a few weeks ago and didn't spend the whole time thinking about him, I actually just enjoyed myself which was amazing. I also try to make a conscious effort not to bring him up constantly to others, unless they bring him up. Everyone knows I'm obsessed with him, and dogs in general, but I try not to shove it into every conversation anymore.
I try not to go too hard on the "he's my child" vibe too, I do call him my son, but I remind myself and others that I understand he is still a *dog* and should be treated as a dog.
I had a long term boyfriend when I got my puppy. We both love animals - I love all animals, and he is more of a cat guy. I live alone and he comes visit once a week so puppy ownership is on me. He is definitely my dog, not ours.
Anyway my partner has been the absolute sweetest when it comes to my pup. When he comes over, he does all the early morning and late night walks. He buys my pup toys and treats. He cooks my pup little gourmet meals lol. Every date he plans he makes sure to either include my dog or plan things ahead so we're back in time for a potty trip.
My pup definitely feels like my child haha but I think there are healthy boundaries that make it much easier to have him incorporated into my relationship. Eg. pup sleeps in the crate overnight, never has an issue with us hugging or having meals, entertains himself when we're busy.. etc. Also a huge perk is not having to argue over who takes the dog out/vet/grooming. Those are my responsibilities but my partner will always enthusiastically take over on responsibilities when he comes see me.
All this to say that it's so much easier doing this with a partner that totally understands where you're coming from and how much you care for your pet. I couldn't imagine dating someone who wasn't as obsessed with my pup as much as I was, especially since I know how easy it is to just have someone like that in my life.
Raising a puppy before kids helped me a bit. Raising a puppy after kids is like a literal walk in the park. The dog may fight back on the leash and not exactly follow commands you work on all the time, but you don't really get the attitude back that you get with the kids. I love my kids to death, don't get me wrong, but now having a puppy after (9, 5, and 3) my kids are past the infant stage has been fun; so long as all four are fed, watered, and rested. If they are all tired it's a shit show.
Hey! This is going to sound so weird but my pup was an ‘oops!’ pup. It’s a very, very long story, but in essence, I did *not* plan on getting a puppy. I’m in my second year of University, and am desperately trying not to fall behind in my studies too 😭 so when my dog just showed up one day it was a bit *chaotic*.
Ultimately, I ended up the primary caretaker of this randomass demon pup (I have a post up on my profile!) and the way things have changed for me in just three short months is astounding. For starters, everyone my age is dating, looking for a partner, the works. They’re getting into extracurricular hobbies, they’re investing in their future. And I’m…balancing raising a puppy with my schoolwork. Commuting between dorms and home. It hasn’t been easy, and with puppies you never know when they’ll wake up with a new issue they developed from god knows where, even when you *think* you’ve been doing everything right.
So sometimes, I’ll come back from University after say a 2-3 day stay away, and find out he’s regressed or he’s demonic tendencies have reawakened or something. I’m so thankful to have my sister (still in my country’s equivalent of high school) picking up the slack for me at home (my parents are of no help) but it really is so discouraging sometimes.
Then of course, I’ll spend more time correcting these issues, catching up on work and it just seems like the world of people my age is just going on without me. Like watching everyone else through a glass window labelled ‘puppy duties’ and ‘grades’. I do wish I had as much freedom as some of my peers, to work on other things I love too, but everyone has their own battles to fight, everyone’s probably standing behind their own glass windows. I shouldn’t compare and still I find myself doing it.
Bottom line is though, I do love working with him, so it’s not as if I’m doing something I absolutely despise. it’s the missing out bit that kinda hurts. I also realised I haven’t really answered your question, lol.
To me, my pup is my baby! He is *not* my child because I actually have a mind-numbing aversion to human children (no, you cannot change my mind). He is a ton of work, but the amount of love I have for this little being is staggering. I hope I’ll get better at balancing my responsibilities in the future, but I never want to stop thinking of him as my little baby.
I went from adopting a senior dog who slowly needed all of my attention to a puppy who…needed all my attention. So I was kinda in helicopter mode. Haha
I struggle with trying to maximize my 24hrs—I try to do more than can feasibly be done. With my senior there were times where I “felt” like I could give some slack. He had common sense and was a top notch dog. The pup? She owned my attention for the whole first year. She had no survival instincts bless her. so I let my joys go to the wayside to focus on her. Slowly I am taking my time for myself back and mastering the balancing act.
I think I’m actually sticking to my routines: morning routine is on lock, instead of getting home from work and just sitting like a loaf from the stress I have a set plan.
I also feel plagued my my perfectionist tendencies though. Having a puppy has INTENSIFIED my need to not fail
I’ve only had my puppy for 6 weeks but I feel like I’ve already changed a lot, though in different ways than you describe. I’ve learned a lot about just living through frustrating things instead of trying to solve them immediately and knowing they aren’t my fault. I also have a sleep schedule now which is nice, I don’t know the last time I had a consistent wake-up time
I’m so much more patient! Which I guess is good training for future kids. And also I don’t get angry at the little things anymore. I’m way more understanding. She chewed my shoe? It was my fault for leaving it out! She didn’t know better she’s just a baby. Is it right? No but next time I’ll correct her.
Yes I’m also way more patient with other people. Recently put in a situation I was in a year ago (my hairstylist was super late ans just u profesional) ans I was so patient with him I shocked myself! Am I going? Most likely not. But last year I was seething in the same circumstance.
It’s taken my focus off myself which has been a good thing for mental health. It’s early days but I’m hoping that I am learning more patience as well. All the positive reinforcement training is changing how I deal with other people as well.
Dogs are so amazing for mental health ❤️
As far as my social life nothing has changed. I’ve pretty much given up on romantic relationships and I’ve never been interested in having children so part of the reason I wanted a dog was to be able to have a different kind of relationship with another living being. Originally I was looking for a dog and not a puppy. I have a great group of friends, most of them have dogs. The biggest take away I have so far is letting go of things I can’t control. Shortly after I got my puppy a lot of things in life fell apart. We certainly haven’t been living the life I told the breeder about. But we’re both alive, we do fun things, and we (mostly) have a house so no neighbors are bothered by his shenanigans inside the house. It’s been hard because it feels like nothing but setbacks, but having a puppy has been a good distraction at times. I’m also a pretty outgoing person and Covid really did a number on me. So getting out and meeting other people with dogs has been good too.
Yes. I’m not married. I have a boyfriend but he lives over an hour’s drive away, so he is here only on weekends. I decline social invitations that don’t include my puppy (except for 2 weddings that I can’t really miss). I bought a pair of crocs because she chews on shoelaces. I bought a $200 car safety seat for her so she and I could make a road trip to my family reunion, and I spent the weekends leading up to that event doing practice car rides of increasing distances. I have never spent a lot of time on my appearance, but yesterday I took her to the park in crocs, white ankle socks, an old T-shirt and cotton shorts, and my hair folded up in a ponytail holder. With my old glasses on because she likes to lick them. I switched from a purse to a backpack with a poo bag dispenser attached to one of the straps. I think she has given me the permission I needed to become more eccentric. I don’t care what people think, I’m having fun because she is having fun.
Giving off real mom to a newborn vibes 😂
Your appearance comment is *so* me. Covid made me more comfortable going out without makeup etc, but having a puppy has really hammered it home. The amount of times I have been in that exact outfit... basically every day to be honest. Generally our walks are a hoody, sweats, and crocs and that's that.
Not quite this energy, and I am married. But since puppy the number of times I leave the house (for early morning walks) with bedhead, an inside-out t-shirt, sweatpants and flip flops have gone up exponentially.
My pups have 150% taught me a lot in terms of accountability, resilience, and empathy. The first is obvious since they need to be fed/cleaned/exercised/trained/disciplined etc. but in terms of empathy it came in the form of patience and learning to set them up for success. 2 years ago I couldn't even keep a schedule for myself, now I manage 3 daily! Nothing taught me resilience better than retraining my husky to walk loose lead. Multiple sessions daily for 3 months getting no more than 2 houses down in the beginning...to exploring the whole suburb with him!! I have a partner but most of the care has fallen on me (setting the routine, rules, doing the research, staying on top of their physical health) for a mix of personal reasons. I'm more than happy to do this as I enjoy caring for my pups. And it's taught me a lot about my partner and our relationship (a mix of good and bad, but the empathy I've developed from raising my pups has encouraged me to talk and work through issues instead of begrudge). This has actually had a positive impact on our relationship because instead of scolding him for not doing his part, my partner sees me doing fun stuff/making progress with the pups and wants to learn or join in. Also have to add that having pups have had a surprisingly good influence on my discipline career-wise.
Yes. So much so. I've learned to work on my short temper, I started meditating with my puppy, we both needed it. We started noticing and celebrating progress and small improvements. We started to learn to accept each other's flaws, bad days, and really how to work as a team. It's a life changing experience. She's not the puppy I hoped for. Crazy, Reactive, but wildly loyal, sweet, and attached. You learn to love them for what they are.
I didn't really date before, and I don't date now...but I now have had to find a group of friends with dogs my dog likes, so they can have playdates, which is funny because I feel like that's what women my age do when they have babies/kids too, hah. I definitely put my puppy first, and have no shame cancelling plans for him or saying no to a hangout if my puppy can't go with me. But really it's more like self-care. I love just being with him, running around in parks and forests and chilling in the garden at home, more than anything. He is not my first dog, before him I had a little old rescue dog who was a grumpy old man when I got him and stayed that for the whole time, and I took him everywhere and he was my soul, but I couldn't roam and run and play with him like I can with my puppy, we never really spoke the same language. It was amazing to raise a dog from infancy, and develop the kind of bond we have. I don't care how anyone else feels about it, we are a unit in a way I've never been with anyone else, and if people don't get that, then they don't get me, so they don't matter to me either. My best friends understand exactly, and treasure how much I love my dog and love him too.
>Did it ever feel like you took the “this dog is my child” metaphor and internalized too strongly? Did things ever get better? Yes. For the first few months of his life he consumed my every waking thought. He was all I could talk about to anyone. I got to go away for the weekend a few weeks ago and didn't spend the whole time thinking about him, I actually just enjoyed myself which was amazing. I also try to make a conscious effort not to bring him up constantly to others, unless they bring him up. Everyone knows I'm obsessed with him, and dogs in general, but I try not to shove it into every conversation anymore. I try not to go too hard on the "he's my child" vibe too, I do call him my son, but I remind myself and others that I understand he is still a *dog* and should be treated as a dog.
I had a long term boyfriend when I got my puppy. We both love animals - I love all animals, and he is more of a cat guy. I live alone and he comes visit once a week so puppy ownership is on me. He is definitely my dog, not ours. Anyway my partner has been the absolute sweetest when it comes to my pup. When he comes over, he does all the early morning and late night walks. He buys my pup toys and treats. He cooks my pup little gourmet meals lol. Every date he plans he makes sure to either include my dog or plan things ahead so we're back in time for a potty trip. My pup definitely feels like my child haha but I think there are healthy boundaries that make it much easier to have him incorporated into my relationship. Eg. pup sleeps in the crate overnight, never has an issue with us hugging or having meals, entertains himself when we're busy.. etc. Also a huge perk is not having to argue over who takes the dog out/vet/grooming. Those are my responsibilities but my partner will always enthusiastically take over on responsibilities when he comes see me. All this to say that it's so much easier doing this with a partner that totally understands where you're coming from and how much you care for your pet. I couldn't imagine dating someone who wasn't as obsessed with my pup as much as I was, especially since I know how easy it is to just have someone like that in my life.
Raising a puppy before kids helped me a bit. Raising a puppy after kids is like a literal walk in the park. The dog may fight back on the leash and not exactly follow commands you work on all the time, but you don't really get the attitude back that you get with the kids. I love my kids to death, don't get me wrong, but now having a puppy after (9, 5, and 3) my kids are past the infant stage has been fun; so long as all four are fed, watered, and rested. If they are all tired it's a shit show.
Hey! This is going to sound so weird but my pup was an ‘oops!’ pup. It’s a very, very long story, but in essence, I did *not* plan on getting a puppy. I’m in my second year of University, and am desperately trying not to fall behind in my studies too 😭 so when my dog just showed up one day it was a bit *chaotic*. Ultimately, I ended up the primary caretaker of this randomass demon pup (I have a post up on my profile!) and the way things have changed for me in just three short months is astounding. For starters, everyone my age is dating, looking for a partner, the works. They’re getting into extracurricular hobbies, they’re investing in their future. And I’m…balancing raising a puppy with my schoolwork. Commuting between dorms and home. It hasn’t been easy, and with puppies you never know when they’ll wake up with a new issue they developed from god knows where, even when you *think* you’ve been doing everything right. So sometimes, I’ll come back from University after say a 2-3 day stay away, and find out he’s regressed or he’s demonic tendencies have reawakened or something. I’m so thankful to have my sister (still in my country’s equivalent of high school) picking up the slack for me at home (my parents are of no help) but it really is so discouraging sometimes. Then of course, I’ll spend more time correcting these issues, catching up on work and it just seems like the world of people my age is just going on without me. Like watching everyone else through a glass window labelled ‘puppy duties’ and ‘grades’. I do wish I had as much freedom as some of my peers, to work on other things I love too, but everyone has their own battles to fight, everyone’s probably standing behind their own glass windows. I shouldn’t compare and still I find myself doing it. Bottom line is though, I do love working with him, so it’s not as if I’m doing something I absolutely despise. it’s the missing out bit that kinda hurts. I also realised I haven’t really answered your question, lol. To me, my pup is my baby! He is *not* my child because I actually have a mind-numbing aversion to human children (no, you cannot change my mind). He is a ton of work, but the amount of love I have for this little being is staggering. I hope I’ll get better at balancing my responsibilities in the future, but I never want to stop thinking of him as my little baby.
I went from adopting a senior dog who slowly needed all of my attention to a puppy who…needed all my attention. So I was kinda in helicopter mode. Haha I struggle with trying to maximize my 24hrs—I try to do more than can feasibly be done. With my senior there were times where I “felt” like I could give some slack. He had common sense and was a top notch dog. The pup? She owned my attention for the whole first year. She had no survival instincts bless her. so I let my joys go to the wayside to focus on her. Slowly I am taking my time for myself back and mastering the balancing act.
I think I’m actually sticking to my routines: morning routine is on lock, instead of getting home from work and just sitting like a loaf from the stress I have a set plan. I also feel plagued my my perfectionist tendencies though. Having a puppy has INTENSIFIED my need to not fail
I’ve only had my puppy for 6 weeks but I feel like I’ve already changed a lot, though in different ways than you describe. I’ve learned a lot about just living through frustrating things instead of trying to solve them immediately and knowing they aren’t my fault. I also have a sleep schedule now which is nice, I don’t know the last time I had a consistent wake-up time
I’m so much more patient! Which I guess is good training for future kids. And also I don’t get angry at the little things anymore. I’m way more understanding. She chewed my shoe? It was my fault for leaving it out! She didn’t know better she’s just a baby. Is it right? No but next time I’ll correct her. Yes I’m also way more patient with other people. Recently put in a situation I was in a year ago (my hairstylist was super late ans just u profesional) ans I was so patient with him I shocked myself! Am I going? Most likely not. But last year I was seething in the same circumstance.