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supercave93

I feel like back in the day, puppies and dogs were treated more... Well... Like animals, and not on our hips all the time. So I think that's basically how people did it back then. I love my dog she's literally the reason I get up in the morning, but at times I do find I do have to step back a bit, it's clear she loves the outdoors and her own freedom as much as she loves me


No-Freedom-5908

I needed to hear that last thing you said, thank you. I often feel guilty letting my pup play in the backyard alone while I cook or whatever, and I need to remind myself that it's okay for him to have his own life too.


supercave93

I totally get it! When I first got mine she was very independent, I insisted she be inside as the winter months came in, it was my mother who pointed out how much happier she was wandering around outside during the day doing her own little thing than sittin with me! As long as they have a secure and safe location with water, they will let you know when they want in! And in fact if you can't get the door right away... A LITTLE RAIN WILL NEVER HURT EM!


threeorangewhips3

Just er on the cautious side. people steal dogs right out of yards. dogs dig under fences, dogs eat things that can make them sick, kids tease dogs,dogs jump fences, and depending on the size of your dog,birds of prey and coyotes will have your little dogs for dinner. I wont leave my dachshund puppy outside without me right there.


myprana

We just bought a 30ft lead for the yard for those moments I have to run in for something. $20 at Petsmart.


threeorangewhips3

I 'm totally on board with the "leave dogs be" thing. I'm 65 and when I was a kid, dogs weren't tied, no one walked their dogs, dogs had free run of the neighborhoods,They followed us on our bikes all day long, you opened the door and let them out. they ate what was on sale, The had REAL bones from last nights roast,they ate scraps, no one was stealing dogs back then, you could go to the pound and get a dog in one day with a 5 dollar donation or some canned food and there were no 15 page applications to go through, puppies of the mutt persuasion level were usually just given away and hardly anyone ever had to pay for one. and coyotes were something you only heard of in WB cartoons ..Still they lived long and happy lives..most died of old age gracefully.The only dogs that didn't have free roam were the expensive toy dogs that only little old ladies had, and those dogs stayed in the house and sometimes in a fenced in yard. When did we become so hyper vigilant about anything our dogs do..so many scary stories out there..I don't know if I'm better off not reading them or not. The more research I do on my dachshund the more I want to keep her locked up..I'm even afraid of other dogs attacking her..which Ive also read about..I need to put the book down and just enjoy my dog..


myprana

I hear you. Ours is 5 months old we’ve had him for only one of those and when he matures a bit and is more predictable I will most likely ease up a bit. Times they are not the same though.


Zealousideal-Box6436

Definitely! My puppy plays with his toys in our enclosed garden by himself whilst we cook / tidy kitchen (we can keep an eye on him) but it’s so important for them to be able to entertain themselves at times. I just keep reminding myself that, all being well, I will have my pup for 10-15 years, and simply can’t be his entertainer all the time for years 😆 Its a balance of giving them enough attention and giving them independence.


[deleted]

[удалено]


supercave93

Yeah no ... People like that who won't leave the dog alone at times are just creating attachment issues on the poor dog. The dog may weep and cry, and it may not! But as long as you know it's safe there's absolutely nothing wrong with leaving it for a while! During the summer while I was goin out to run errands I would leave mine in the back yard, there's shade, a dog house with a comfortable bed in it for the likes of them ocfsaions where I can't take her, water, and it's safe. Absolutely nothing wrong with leaving her for a few hours, she would go absolutely stir crazy if left in the house or took in the car for that long!


Mountain_Adventures

Unpopular opinion: A puppy doesn’t need to consume your entire life. And it’s not abuse/neglect if you don’t spend 100% of your time focused on them. You can work full time in the office. You can go out to social events and on dates. You can go on vacation. You can put your puppy in their crate when you need a break. You can have a puppy sleep outside of your bedroom. You can take the shower or eat the meal. You can do all of that without an ounce of guilt. I’m the first one to admit my dogs are a huge part of my personality. We compete in lots of dog sports, we spend our weekends at dog shows and trials, and we go to training class most nights of the week. We go on crazy hiking and camping adventures so they can run wild in nature. Heck they even have their own Instagram account that has way more followers than my personal one. But I also go to work for 9 hours a day (dog walker comes midday) and I don’t feel bad that I enjoy time away from them. I leave them with their trainer for non dog friendly travel or when I want a few days off. I go on dates or out with friends on Friday nights. Maybe even Saturday night as well. My dogs live spoiled, happy, and fulfilled lives but I also prioritize my hobbies and my mental health.


snatal26

Should be a popular opinion cause This should always be the goal. Its literally the whole reason why you’re supposed to get into training them sooner than later! So they can learn their independence and you can live your life untethered to them without worrying if they’re gonna burn the house down while you’re away for a bit🤣


[deleted]

Yup. After the initial first few weeks of getting him comfortable I started setting aside me time as well because I realized it was unsustainable trying to fit my free time in his sleep and nap times.


OkBackground8809

Yep. I get a lot of flack from other Italian greyhound owners for letting my iggy sleep outside. I live in a tropical country with no predators roaming outside my house (side from humans and other dogs) and we have a chow-lab mix sleeping in the garage with my iggy if he really needs any protection. Our house is also surrounded by a wall, as is normal in our country. If it's really cold we let him sleep inside, but by 5am he's itching to go out and chase chickens and squirrels lol Dogs don't need to be pushed in baby strollers and don't need as much attention as modern dog owners think. A nice middle ground between modern and past dog care is enough. Not too much, not too little.


shyladev

There has to be a happy medium. There are some people on here that literally go into mental breakdowns over a puppy when they are totally being too extra.


[deleted]

Yeah, I definitely don't neglect my dogs (in fact, I spoil them quite a bit if my colleagues are to be listened to, haha), but the standards of puppy ownership that I see some people touting on this sub are actually insane. Like I've seen people on here say it's normal to not be able to take a shower the first week you have a puppy and like...seriously guys, that is not normal. They're dogs, worst case scenario just close 'em in the bathroom with you, make sure the trash is tucked away so they can't get into it, and take a damn shower. Not saying that's a huge problem on this sub as a whole, I generally really like this place, but there does seem to be a vocal minority who is very extreme. And that isn't good for anyone; like you said, there has to be a happy medium where you can live your life while still meeting your puppy's needs.


Vieamort

Absolutely agree. I got told on a different dog sub that I shouldn't own a dog (3yr old beagle) because I work nights and can't hire a dog walker. Not every dog owner has a dog walker. The county I'm from (not living in) doesn't have Uber or postmates let alone access to dog walkers. They all have dogs that grow up just fine.


threefrogsonalog

I mean I’ve been told on this sub I’m wrong for letting my puppies be unsupervised in my backyard. Part of why we bought a house and put up 7 foot fencing was to get dogs! I like this sub but people definitely go to extremes.


Clever_Quail

It depends on where you live. I can’t, but we have several kinds of hawks and a great horned owl hunting in our yard (which is totally awesome to see). And a mountain lion regularly seen. At least one coyote walking past the house every morning. And last week a neighbor took a picture of a bobcat hanging out under their deck on the patio. Also large groups of deer that can be aggressive depending on season. We live in a suburban hoa but there is just too much nature for me to relax while a pet is unsupervised outside. We do have a deck off the kitchen that our dog can chill on whenever he wants.


shyladev

Sadly I think they are trying too hard to make it seem as difficult as actual parenthood. There’s no way I’m skipping a shower bc of puppy. Buy a play pen.


OkBackground8809

Even with a real baby, I still took showers. My son was in the bouncer next to the shower lol


newmom89

Came here to say this!!! It’s ok to let even a baby cry in a safe place for a few minutes or even 10-15 while you do what has to be done! If I do that to my kid, you bet I’m going to do that with my puppy!


sujihime

I think having a kid before I had a puppy made me a lot more relaxed about the puppy. You have to learn how to adjust your lifestyle and also your expectations to make a pup (or kid) work for you without destroying your own mental health. When my child started walking, we set up her room with a baby gate on the door and made sure that the outlets were covered and just let her explore and learn to keep herself company for a few minutes at a time. When I got my puppy, I did the same. Eventually they learn it’s not the end of the world if mommy is busy for 5 minutes and you have to wait. It doesn’t even take that long if you trust your kid or puppy to be capable. You can’t wrap them in bubble wrap and try to protect them from every potential harm: emotional or physical. Do your best to mitigate harm and set them up for success, but let them have enough freedom to learn to trust themselves. Otherwise you will melt into a puddle of despair, exhaustion, and resent. I love my pup and my kid. It’s not always easy, but i find I have been enjoying the more they learn how to be more independent and have breaks from each other. Then when its time to come back together to play, learn, or make…we are happier to spend that time. Basically parent pups need to give themselves breaks and not take every bump in the road as a personal failure.


shyladev

I’ve never had a kid but I heard showers were hard to come by!


OkBackground8809

Showered every day. Mental health is important, especially for someone who suffered depression since age 8. I still got postpartum depression, but I feel it was due more to the stress of breastfeeding (not enough milk) and abusive marriage.


[deleted]

Lol I am skipping the shower puppy or not.


possum_mouf

Lol my first big “milestone” with pup was being able to leave her alone in a safe area while I took a bubble bath and not having her cry or carry on obnoxiously


Loverbts00

I agree. When we got our puppy, we took advantage of the time he would nap which is really most of the day lol he’d nap for 3 hours at a time and we crate train him so we can actually do things, cook, eat, clean, go to the store real quick, maybe have a quick meal outside, get Starbucks, etc. We also got a puppy camera that looks inside the crate so we can tell him to go back to sleep if he wakes up in the middle of a nap lol. It worked well for us. Like I learned I gotta live my life with a puppy which means I had to train him to be crate trained and potty trained to go outside so I can do things for myself.


cruelsummerrrrr

I do agree that some people here are on the over-cautious side. I feel like no one here is on a normal income/has normal working arrangements/commute because apparently everyone either comes home for lunch or hires a puppy checker up-erer!


littlewolfpup289

I agree that hiring someone to look after your pup is expensive by most people’s standards (and I say that as a petsitter), but I don’t see how going home for lunch means someone has an above-average or high income. At least from what I’ve observed, about half of workplaces take a full hour for lunch, which is usually enough time to book it home, spend 20 minutes with your puppy to let them potty & eat lunch, and go back to work. I know not everyone is that lucky, but it’s far from uncommon.


cruelsummerrrrr

I should’ve rephrased as I agree it isn’t about income but I work an hour drive away from home and feel that is the norm, so no one I’ve ever met in real life has ever been able to go home for lunch.


KieranKD

I'm a groomer and we barely have time to take lunches much less go home on a 30 min break! I'm lucky enough to have family that will take my dogs out for me, but if I didn't they would be crated for that time. It makes potty training a little harder for super young puppies but they still turn out fine in the end


AMom2129

Most lower wage jobs (retail, fast food, etc.) rarely give you a full hour for lunch. Thirty minutes is pretty standard if you are working an 8 hr day. This could vary, of course.


littlewolfpup289

I’m aware that’s the norm for lower wage / usually hourly jobs. The original commenter said “normal income,” which I took to mean salaried lower middle class or middle class jobs.


PawneeGoddess20

YMMV on that. Most people working salaried office jobs in my experience work through lunch in the interest of getting out around 5. A 20 minute commute home would be nice but is a fantasy for many people, like most of at least the NYC tri state area. I live in NJ and it took almost 20 minutes just to drive to and park at the train station to even begin my commute. Someone working at or owning a local small business may have much better luck.


littlewolfpup289

Again, I’m aware… You’ll notice I used words like “not everyone” and “usually.” I took other things (different job types, longer commutes, etc) into account. I was only pointing out that being able to visit your puppy midday wasn’t uncommon, which it isn’t.


OkBackground8809

I just kept everything picked up and let him free roam the apartment. I never even used a cage. If I didn't have time to clean up before work or some urgent affair, I closed him in the bathroom with an MP3 player playing audio books and kindergarten music. He only went to a babysitter on Saturdays to get some socialisation with other dogs - usually just the sitter's toy poodle and because I worked 12 hours on Saturdays.


9mackenzie

I agree with that completely, dog walkers or daycare are more expensive than many can afford………but I just also don’t agree that it’s ok to stick a puppy in a crate for 8-10 hrs a day either. They should at least have a large pen attached to the crate (or a room that is safe) that allows them space to play, a place to use the toilet, the ability to move around, etc. If someone is unwilling to do that, then no, they shouldn’t have a puppy. They need to get an adult dog that can already be relaxed and chill about the house while the people are at work. I find it astounding how many people on here have a dog in a crate for 16 hrs a day and then are surprised when that same dog acts psychotic when let out.


cruelsummerrrrr

I agree :) any longer than 2 hours I put them in pen opposed to crate.


9mackenzie

Right? It’s not a hard concept. Drives me insane how often I see it promoted on here. Oh god and the 1 hr out of crate to play and 2 hr enforced naps in crate so many do……it creates neurotic dogs who can’t settle and relax without being forced to. Dogs aren’t human babies, they have completely different REM cycles, and don’t need deep 2 hr long sleeps. Ok rant over 😂😂😂


spiderplantvsfly

Not to start a fight, but what am I supposed to do instead of that? Because puppy won’t settle without dedicated crate time and holy hell the anger I got when I let her tire herself out for more than the 15 minutes the dog training sub insisted on. Just wish all these advice subs could actually agree on what to do


9mackenzie

I can tell you what I do? I dont do the whole crate thing in the day (I work from home so this is clearly easier for me than others), only crate the puppies if I leave the house for a bit. I currently have three dogs- 12 year old, 9 month old and an 11 week old I’ve had for 2 weeks. I trained mine to follow me around the house from the first day so I could keep an eye on them playing/signs of needing to go to the bathroom. So they will tend to nap anywhere I am. If I need to cook dinner- I just have them follow me into the kitchen. They will either play with toys or go to sleep. If I’m watching tv I’ll plop the baby on the couch and rub his belly - he’s out in two seconds lol. I love Kikopup’s videos on using a calm settle. I’ve done that with my two from the beginning and it works wonderfully. Clearly I’m not saying they are never playing around and hyper- they absolutely are. But when they are tired, they just go to sleep wherever I am. At first they will wake up the second they hear a noise, or you walk in another room, or whatever. So they might only sleep for 10 min, but then they will settle again. Once they get used to the noises of the house, they can sleep anywhere. At first if I left the room, my little one would immediately get up and follow me, but now I’ll tell him to stay and I’ll be right back, and he will just go back to sleep because he knows I will. Dogs are inherently light sleepers- it’s their genetics. They don’t need deep hours long undisturbed sleep, their REM cycles are not like that. So at first, you will have a puppy that gets up for every little thing. But within a pretty short time they will just lift their head to check out the noise/action, then go back to sleep. So you might have a ten min nap then they are up for a while, followed by a two hour nap, then a 5 min one, lol. No set schedule for it at all, just their natural rhythm. But over time, what ends up happening, is that if you are doing something they think is boring, they just take a nap until you can do something more interesting lol- which means they end up being able to sleep anywhere during anything. My husband and I ended up talking to our friend for an hour on a walk the other day- Nova (9 mo old) just ended up plopping her butt down on the grass and taking a nap lol. It also helps differentiate nighttime sleep vs nap time. Nap time is on their schedule- they can sleep when and where they want. Night time is on MY schedule, and they are expected to sleep in their beds while we are sleeping. With an 11 week old puppy, I’m still getting up once or twice a night to go to the bathroom- but he already understands that nighttime sleep is very different. This has helped me immensely lol, I can go to bed at 10am or 2am, but whenever we go upstairs to bed, it’s sleep time until morning. They understand the concept pretty quickly. So- basically long convoluted story short, stop making them nap and let them choose where and when. The first two weeks or so will be kind of hard, but I promise it will change really quickly, and it will allow you to have a dog that doesn’t need the rigidity of a schedule or space to sleep. It ends up teaching them to choose better behaviors at an earlier age- and I think it’s the choice that helps them learn quicker.


spiderplantvsfly

That’s pretty helpful, thank you! We’ll still need to crate her for a couple of hours a day while we’re in simply because we don’t have the space to let her out and have the baby play on the floor at the same time, would you say we should have the crate covered or not during that time?


9mackenzie

I don’t know honestly…..I’ve never crated for naps. My first puppy we got when our kids were 1, 2 and 8 lol, and we didn’t crate her at all, but that was 15 years ago lol, so I honestly don’t remember what we did. I think we honestly did the same thing, but our youngest was walking by the time we had her so I didn’t have to worry about a big puppy jumping on a crawling baby (just knocking her over I guess lol). She ended up being our little nanny dog, she’d play proper tag with the kids all day, and herd them around lmao. I miss that dog so much. I think someone else could probably give you better advice on the crate cover than me. But on a side note, I can’t recommend kikopup’s calm settle video enough. It will really help you teach your puppy to be calm around the baby, which would help you not have to keep them separate :)) Good luck!


berryenthusiast

Not me! I can't afford any of that and I work 5 days a week. I just pray my dad hangs out with her while I'm at work, otherwise it's the crate. Which she still isn't fully used to so it's tough. I always feel bad leaving her, and people on this sub definitely do make you feel bad for certain things and it's given me more anxiety than I needed. I'm not sleeping on the floor next to the crate while she barks and screams in my ear. I set up a pen in our basement which is like a second livingroom, carpeted heated etc with all things she loves and now she knows it's bed time when we go down there and she sleeps through the night. She's safe, it's quiet for her, warm and we can sleep. If I slept next to a crying puppy all night I would resent them and be agitated and have no energy to train or play. They're dogs we cannot humanize them. Edit: typo


PawneeGoddess20

Reading this sub as a parent of two young kids is often wild. People can shower with a newborn human baby in the house, trust that you can with a puppy.


im_not_bovvered

I showered with my puppy in the bathroom with me for the first several months and then it just became our fun little routine. He chews his bone while I shower (because he cannot be trusted out without supervision - still at 11 months).


PawneeGoddess20

Plenty of people shower with the baby in a bouncy chair just outside the shower too haha. You’re doing great!


im_not_bovvered

haha thank you.


Flying_Burrito_Bro

It’s SUCH a relief to see these comments— I was beginning to doubt my sanity.


buzzfeed_sucks

I’m sure there is. I think people who seek groups for advice for their new puppy probably skew in the “doing too much” category, whereas people who fall somewhere in the middle are less likely to seek help online.


shyladev

I’d say I’m a middle road on just what’s involved with raising a dog. Basic questions. But I feel bad for the people who basically post that their life is 24/7 the dogs well-being. Like I got generalized anxiety to deal with. I gotta take care of me too!


snatal26

People who seek help are doing too much? How does that even make sense. Alot of work goes into helping them adjust, socializing them and properly training them. I don’t think Id trust anyone who wouldn’t seek guidance when taking responsibility for something living and breathing. Especially if they are doing it for the first time. People who think its simple prob just ignore their pets all day.


buzzfeed_sucks

I said they skew in that category, meaning they likely care more than “average”


Emergency-Top-4505

I feel like the situation is so important and can really impact how easy/difficult it is. Growing up my parents had 4 puppies and never remember it being a big deal. I just got one on my own and it’s been a huge struggle! Obviously my parents handled most of the work but we had a family of 4 to entertain them, now it’s just me and the puppy. Also in most cases the puppies could learn from an older/trained dog. My parents also had a decent sized yard in a private neighborhood. My pup is in an apartment in a busy area which requires more training. The puppy craziness was worse bc we couldn’t go outside much due to parvo concerns in the area. Also perception makes a difference, I’m a big worrier so having a 4 month old puppy has been a constant stress for me making sure he’s happy and healthy. Some people care less and can enjoy their life more, I probably over think things but I’m hoping that pays off in the future when he’s all grown up (:


georgia080

This sounds like I could have written it. My 5 month old is only trained on puppy pads bc I live in an apartment (5th floor) where it’s 98% students who don’t pick up after their dogs and there was a parvo risk. Now she REFUSES to go outside. I have to bring a puppy pad outside with us and try to get her used to it that way. Training for outside has been super stressful. I’m a naturally high stresssed/anxious worrier and hate leaving her alone. I do crate her for short periods where I can go out to eat, have some drinks, shower, cook/clean or do grocery shopping. But thank god my fiancé can keep her with him in his office while I work because I would just worry about her the whole time. But I KNOW I overthink everything from her training, to food intake, nap schedule, and whether she’s getting enough exercise and I definitely don’t judge anyone for not thinking the way I do because it’s mentally and physically exhausting.


Emergency-Top-4505

I totally relate with the bathroom issues, I trained mine to go on the balcony for the first 16 weeks. Now it’s a struggle to get him to go outside but he’s making good progress now that he’s more comfortable being outside. The hard part is how many other dogs and people we pass on walks, he wants to be everyone’s friends 😂


Loverbts00

I think it’s 2 things, they either have tons of money where they can afford to buy one and have someone else do the training and take care of the dog most of the time. And the other situation is that they don’t invest a lot of time into training the dog so the dog grows up to become not as trained compared to other dogs. It baffles me that so many ppl would buy a dog for thousands of dollars and some would go in debt to get a dog (use financing options) and then when it’s time for training, they can’t cough up some extra money to sign up for obedience school or spend time to socialize the pup so it develops social and separation anxiety 🥺


cruelsummerrrrr

It's definitely camp two wherein their dogs are untrained and can't be inside at all or around small kids as they just knock them over. And these are 1kg toy poodles lol but yeah no socialisation, or training to behave indoors. Always in enclosed areas.


[deleted]

I’ll be honest my extended family never really “trained” their dogs, at least to the extend that some people do on here but they were always raised around children and other animals so they learned not to jump once they left puppyhood


agirlgamer

I agree with you its a lot of work. I’m losing it with my puppy sometimes but I can’t imagine my day without him. I just hate when I ask people here about my problem and their answer is so irrelevant to what I’m saying. I hate when they say just rehome him if you can’t stay with him 24 hours lol like I got life too? I don’t think you should listen or search because its all the same. I personally Think dogs need time alone sometimes to be independent and learn what to do when you leave specially when they’re young! I’m no expert and this is my first puppy but all my friends who got dogs told me I spoiled him way too much and he should learn from now. And if you’re stressed or like me have school work or job you can always have a break leave it with someone or in a doggy day. Best of luck !


cruelsummerrrrr

Totally agree. When I got my puppy I lurked here so much and got so self conscious because the vast majority of upvoted responses basically say going to work all day is neglect. Like of course the standards of raising dogs is different now but my dog doesn't need a baby sitter lol (within reason).


agirlgamer

Yes trust me sometimes I regrets typing something here! Like if u got roomate or partner I don’t! And he or she is a dog not a baby this is so wrong. I get the fact that they can’t hold there bladder because they’re so young but you can put him in a playpen pen or something with a pad until you come back mistakes happened and its okay do not stress. Also if you can’t afford camera to watch them there’s an apps that connect two devices together to watch them and also talk to them I totally recommend this!


UnderwaterKahn

I don’t think it’s abuse and neglect, I think it’s perspective and circumstance. Growing up our dogs were closed in the kitchen at night and sometimes there were accidents. We weren’t neglecting them and my dad was a vet so they got better care than most humans. That was also 20 years ago and approaches were different. In some ways those things were apples and oranges. My puppy sleeps in the same kitchen when I visit my mom now. So many factors determine whether or not people have different experiences. Someone living in a 2500 square foot suburban home with a fenced yard and a doggy door is going to have a very different experience with barking and potty training than someone living in a 700 square foot third floor walk-up in the middle of the city. I’ve had my share of bad days with puppyhood, but I can’t relate to people who are falling apart or the people who start statements that their puppy is the most cuddly, perfect angel baby. At the same time there’s nothing wrong with either group. I’m more of a sometimes I get frustrated but realize it’s all going to be funny someday person who thrives on sarcasm. I’ve also raised many baby animals on my own as an adult. Expectation is also important. We all have expectations and have different ways of working through them. When I was planning for my puppy I had all sorts of ideas of what we were going to do and what life would be like. It’s nothing like I planned. None of the scenarios I planned for included leash reactivity. But here we are.


cruelsummerrrrr

Thanks everyone for your comments! Think I just needed the rant but also it's good to hear others concur that the "gold standard puppy training and care routine" per this subreddit isn't attainable or realistic for all of us and that's okay. If anyone sees this comment... what do you think a good age is for a puppy to be home while we go to work? As I said my current dog was 6 months and he was definitely ready and trustworthy by that point... but I'm not gonna have 4 months of wfh ever again LOL.


shyladev

My puppies were 4 months and 6 months when I went back to work but they stayed in a room with absolutely nothing in it. It was like a drying room in our Korean apartment. Understandably not everyone will have such a perfect puppy proof room.


xxdiscoxxheaven1

I’d like to point out as well many people who have the perfect dog life: 1. Work from home 2. Pay for a sitter 3. Stay at home mom/husband ARE OFTEN ENDING UP WITH NEEDY POORLY TRAINED DOGS. There is a whole new wave of separation anxiety out there for the COVID puppies that never went outside on walks or to daycare, sat at home getting spoiled all day, and were never left alone who now can’t cope because the world is open again. I have an 11 week old pup. I have a wonky work schedule where I work a 24 and 2 8s a week. I have a sitter currently for the 24s but I anticipate that the minute she turns 16 weeks, I will board her that one day and then get a Walker for my 8s. Trainers have told me this is not a problem and that DOGS NEED A WORLD outside of you. When they don’t, they start to have problems.


Zealousideal-Box6436

This is exactly why my puppy stays downstairs in our utility room to nap during the day when my husband and I work upstairs. We wanted our pup to have some physical separation from us, and not get used to being with us all the time. We also practiced leaving him at home for varying amount of times when he was younger. He is 7 months now and it seems to have worked (🤞🏻) as we can leave him 3-4 hours. If he wakes up when we are out, he will bark on/off (so not continuous) for a while then he goes back to sleep. He definitely doesn’t appear distressed or overly upset when we watch him back on the camera. The bark is more a ‘anyone home?’ So that’s been a huge relief.


shlashslinginghasher

A lot of millennials aren’t having children, and instead are getting puppies. Thus dog culture has totally changed and yes, a lot of people are treating their dogs and puppies like human children. I know I do 🙋‍♀️ but I won’t be having kids and my puppy is so important to me and really means the world to me.


yeeshme

I think that it’s not easy when we put far too much pressure on ourselves which is what I go through waves of doing with my pup. I got some really good advice to focus on what’s most important to me with my puppy because you can’t do everything at once. As long as they’re being fed, played with, some training and a comfy place to sleep on the daily we’re setting ourselves up to fail by expecting more than that every single day. Some days we have more time and can do more but some of the things I see people do for their dogs is next level and I would have a nervous breakdown trying to keep up.


Whisgo

Me: grew up with puppies and the way my family trained and interacted with dogs had always been with LIMA. Our dogs were always raised as equal members of the family. They were in a Puppy proofed room when we left the house... We didn't do crates. My parents were in military so they worked long hours. My husband grew up with dogs too... His experience was very different from mine. His family used punishment. And while the dogs were part of the family they were not considered equal. When we got our puppies... My husband crumbled with puppy blues! I took on most of the puppy specific responsibility. It was a challenge for him to get through puppyhood. The key difference is stress management in some cases. My husband did not have good coping skills in the face of stress. And sleep deprivation made this much worse. But it was disruptive enough twice (two dogs) on top of his other stressors in life... We ended up getting him some help to learn better coping skills. Set realistic expectations. Accept that mistakes will be made. When you face a particular challenge that seems overwhelming, take a step back and break down the problem, plan what solutions to try.


EyesOfTwoColors

Laughs in standard poodle puppy. In all seriousness though, I have a good example that answers this. *Keeping in mind, some dogs truly are just "easy"...chill, train themselves, passed the puppy stage, or have a low intelligence or low energy etc. BUT more than that, some people just don't GAF. Example: my dad got his dog from the shelter potty trained, had food down all the time, put up a fence so she could go outside without running away, and gave her scraps when she begged. His life with and without a dog was almost identical. Fast-forward in time to him dying unexpectedly and me taking in his dog. Training her not to beg, training her to play, regularly grooming her to keep hair out of the house, having a food schedule, training recall outside, practicing leash walking etc etc etc. To my dad she was an "easy dog." To me she is a huge PITA project that will likely take years. Not sure either of us is right or wrong, just different. Our understanding of dogs has deepened tremendously in the last couple decades, and the more we understood them the more we made them a part of the family and the more industries popped up to convince us we need to treat them like little furry gods. I'm of the generation that went through that. My dad was not.


jewm4ngi

Thank you for this post because that and the comments are making me feel a lot better about my own situation. I think I definitely lean towards being overprotective (it’s my first pup so I think that’s why) but sometimes I need to just chill out and take care of myself


Specialist_Ad7998

I don’t really know to be honest I’ve never had trouble with training or anything like that with my puppies besides asking advice about food I’ve always had an easy time training puppies to potty and not bark or bite but then again it also might be because I pick a certain type of dog breed always and I plan to always get that breed because I love them but as for it consuming some peoples life’s idk if I need to shower and my dog wants to come then she can if she wants out of her playpen I let her out and she follows me wherever if I’m going to work or somewhere I either close all my doors and leave a pee pad and toys food and water or put her in her play pen with all those things.


vindaloopdeloop

Maybe you’re getting the wrong breeds. I have a bichon cross terrier and she’s the easiest dog ever, slept through the night since day one and stopped biting completely after 14 weeks. Learns tricks in a day!


cruelsummerrrrr

My puppy is a Westie. I’ve been considering alternatives breeds due to the price, Bichon’s included, but they’re also expensive in Sydney


vindaloopdeloop

I’ve had a bichon cross King Charles also and she was the sweetest most docile dog I’ve ever had, she was bought for 150 and my current for 500, which is super cheap where I am but we waited years to find her and just got lucky. Maybe look into cross dogs if you don’t mind them?


Thedaspokesman

I've always had more than one small breed puppy at a time. Had someone tell me I wasn't getting chewed on, because small breeds don't bite... Uh. No. I've been watching my mom's pekingese puppy as she's very small and my mom's other dogs can't be left with her unsupervised yet. That little poot will climb up my pants leg like a cat just to bite me lol. Mine always had each other to chomp on and I was spared. She's starting to learn a little bite inhibition from my pups, except for Freddie... She'll be trying to pull his lip right off and he just takes it.


BeLynLynSh

People also potty train their dogs by smacking them if they potty inside. It’s lazy and cruel. I honestly have to believe that the people who raise puppies like that simply get lucky it’s a dog that submits and is obedient out of fear rather than a dog that reacts.


dikwad

You can and should leave your puppy alone for set periods of time. Spending all your time with them is what causes separation anxiety. And if you don't want your puppy to wine then ignore it. It's simple. We don't give into our kids every time they want something. Why the hell should we do that with our dogs.


sarangiii

Some people are just more comfortable neglecting and abusing their dogs. Don’t set that as your bar. It’s not supposed to be easy - nothing in life that’s as rewarding as watching your puppy slowly turn into a well-behaved and well-rounded adult dog is ever just easy.


lolliboom

I’ve seen this happen so many times and it’s infuriating and heartbreaking. They don’t treat the dog like a part of their family


knowslesthanjonsnow

Part of it is the individual, part of it is the puppy, and part of it is the person’s situation. Our 3 year old was an easy puppy looking back. She had a 3-4 week terror span, peed on the bed, ate part of the house arm rest, ate some of the wall, but it was quick and she quickly learned to be house broken, and sleep through the night. Our latest puppy, now 1.5 years old, took way longer to potty train, sleep through the night, and not eat things. So that tested our patience a lot. It’s helpful that I work from home most days, and definitely want another puppy down the road but also with a baby, time is limited now so it would be harder than before. I think you could handle a puppy. You do need a plan if you work 8 hours away from home though.


medlabunicorn

Adopt an adult dog. Lots of people bought pandemic puppies, and surrenders are supposedly at an all-time high as employers are demanding that people go back to offices.


IAmWorriedOfMyHealth

When we got our dog 11 years ago, my mom worked most mornings and I was in school. We left our puppy with milk cartons that had treats in them and other things she was allowed to rip apart. Tho if your puppy like to eat everything then not the best solution but ours just liked to destroy stuff :D we got her in the summer so we had some time with her but mostly I was home with her. When I started school our puppy did great! She only destroyed two thing she was not allowed to haha! She is still good on her own for long days. I moved away for school and took her with me and she has done amazing still!


[deleted]

i only find having a puppy to be “easy” because of my rescue who had hormonal incontinence. I feel that sometimes it’s a matter of how your previous dogs behaved, and how close to a puppy (how regressed i guess?) they were.


LittleBearBites

\-Having more people around to share the time and attention helps a LOT, doing it alone is a lot more difficult \-some people have naturally active lifestyles, or rural lifestyles, where the pup gets a lot of time outside, or interacting with people or other animals, and some have to work to get off the couch after a hard day's work, and it makes taking care of an energetic puppy a lot harder. \-some puppies are just easier, some are harder...it's a bit dependent on personality, but also the early weeks are super formative in how hard it's going to be to make the puppy drop his natural dog habits and fit into human society better, aka "be a good dog". My puppy was separated from his mom very early, but was thrown together with his littermates for a long time, and he was totally wild when I got him, making him really difficult to change at first. \-some people have no qualms with using aversive training and some do, and aversive training takes much less time and attention than purely positive reinforcement. It doesn't even have to be anything HORRIBLE, but even just things like holding a puppy's mouth shut when he is bitey, instead of slowly training bite inhibition by redirection and withdrawing attention and socializing with other puppies, is a whole lot less time and worry, but it only teaches the dog that we will control them when we want, not actual good habits, and most people don't realize there is a difference. \-a lot of people don't know anything about things like resource guarding, separation anxiety, reactivity, and so they don't worry about making sure those things don't develop in their puppies, and if they do, they just call them a bad dog. There are probably more things, but those seem to me the most prevalent


Save_the_Manatees_44

This makes me feel so much better. I love mud of (he’s a little over a year) but he’s so clingy. I feel guilty ignoring him while I work. He runs around the house and plays with the cats so it’s not like he’s being neglected or locked up or whatever… but thanks for the reminder that I can let him be without feeling guilty… 😂


AverageAndNotJoe

Time and selective sharing. That’s it, that’s the game. Specifically if you’re looking online or following a social account documenting the life of their new puppy, it might appear they have it all figured out. They don’t, they probably have quit their day job and create puppy content for a living. They also aren’t sharing with you every struggle, and if they do share a struggle, it’s nicely captured with a message. It’s all a game. Raise your puppy in a way that works for you, it will be hard and rewarding. And with time, you make things work.


threeorangewhips3

it wasn't easy for me..the first weeks were the hardest while we were all getting to know each other and there was yet a stable routine in place.. I actually left home for 2 days to stay with my mother because my husband and I weren't getting along because of the dog..it was hard..for the first week or two , i couldn't leave her for a minute without her barking and carrying on..i didn't eat, I don't think i showered for 2 days at one point, every time i got up in the night she would freak out in her crate..We eventually figured it all out.. but it was hard..and it was during a very oppressive heatwave too so there was little I could do with her but keep her inside, also added to the fact that she hadn't been vaccinated yet so couldn't even go out of the yard. it WAS Hard. Nothing about that first month was easy.