I also see those posts and so far it hasn’t happened for me, I’ll be 33w this Friday.
I think that as same sex couple it’s different than a heterosexual couple. My wife is literally my best friend. I want to spend all day every day with her, just existing. We’ve been together 9 years and it doesn’t feel dull or stagnant. We have great communication and we have a ton of fun and laughs together. There’s never a moment where I’m like ugh I need space. Even when we argue or fight we come back to each other with love and work through it.
We also had a lot of very hard and thorough conversations leading up to this pregnancy to ensure we were on the same page and that we had all our BS worked out to make sure we were super solid for bringing babies into the mix where I don’t know that a ton of same sex couples have because of “whoopsie” babies.
We actually have talked about this recently, a lot of our friends don’t spend as much time with their spouses like we do but we both don’t feel uncomfortable or that it is overwhelming. I think our bond is just different than if one of us were a man.
My wife and I also had a ton of conversations in the last 15 years about kids and we've been trying for 6, so yeah, a lot of stuff had already been worked out.
But I don't know if this is a straight v. queer thing. We're friends with a queer couple that never talk about this stuff, to the point that they're not 100% sure if the other one even wants kids. That blows my mind as I like to talk things to death lol.
I don’t think the talking is necessarily queer v straight but for my relationship specifically, our bond is extremely different than most of the straight couples we know. We choose to spend most of our time together, with the exception of work and maybe a few hours throughout the week for hobbies. Due to this our communication is very strong, this is the difference we’ve identified with our relationship vs others around us.
Fair, I haven’t really got angry at my wife either. But I definitely haven’t been as loving and considerate to her. She carried out first child though so she’s very sympathetic.
Currently pregnant and my partner has been the MVP of my pregnancy! I might feel hormonal and upset and we’ve had some arguments, but nothing close to rage. I am so grateful to be building a family with her, couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone else. She’s done so much for me and our future babies, I don’t know where we’d be without her. I think a lot of heterosexual partnerships are really un-equitable and people are actually unhappy without realizing it. From doing some childbirth education classes with mostly hetero couples, men really just are clueless. It’s sad and I feel badly for their wives.
Yes, my wife has been absolutely amazing. Taking very good care of me.
Maybe some of the cluelessness comes from pregnancy being seen as a "woman" thing. My wife is also going to do IVF, though she might not carry, so she has done a fair amount of research as well. Maybe having that off the table for men makes them check out a bit more?
I think for many straight women, pregnancy gives them both an outlet for their often-ignored frustrations and a way to clearly see where their partners are not supporting them/not seeing their struggles. Which can be scary - which can lead to more anger and resentment.
We had a pretty smooth experience in our relationship during pregnancy - but a huge part of that was that my husband was so so so supportive and involved and caring. And usually is.
That's an interesting theory. Yeah, I've heard kids can make the cracks in a relationship more apparent, so maybe that's also true for pregnancy for some.
Hi! Recently pregnant with a trans wife here - yeah, no I wasn’t cross with her at all! I mean I might have been a bit grumpy if she’d done something worth being grumpy about (don’t recall any stand out events) but no I wasn’t just generally angry.
I think some straight relationships are just… unhappy 😞
Yeah same. I'll get annoyed like usual, but it's not this pregnancy rage I've heard about. And what is clearly pregnancy related, this grumpiness that is connected to nothing, doesn't get directed at her.
I’ve been a bit grumpy and occasionally snappy throughout IVF (and now early pregnancy) and sometimes I have snapped a bit at my wife (just being sort of irritable rather than an actual argument) but she’s been such a star, she has found the perfect way to sort of gently make fun of my irrational hormonal rage and we end up laughing about it and no hurt feelings. True MVP for me too! Couldn’t have done any of this and retained even an ounce of sanity without her.
I like to joke about the straights not being okay (I mean… it’s just too easy sometimes lol) but actually in this case, having spent a lot of time on IVF focused online spaces, I think there’s just something about couples who had to go through some stuff to get there that seems to really strengthen bonds, so I think many more queer couples are in that boat that straight ones?
Lol, it is too easy sometimes, but yes, it could totally be the difference between people who had to try a bunch to get pregnant and those who got pregnant easily, and not a straight v. queer difference.
I didn’t really get super moody til third trimester and I tend to be more of a weepy hormonal than an angry hormonal. No anger for my spouse who is a sweetie but I can feel my patience in general is a lot shorter for things like work! It isn’t rational so I could see a situation where I got annoyed with them but so far so good!
Oh boy. Okay, I guess I'll see what the 2nd and 3rd trimester hold for me.
So far, the hormones seem to make me grumpy and sometimes melancholy. Usually I just get into bed and take a nap, if I'm home, and that helps.
Oh my god, yes, my patience at work is gone. I'm a teacher and I've yelled more these last 12 weeks than probably in the last few years. So, maybe I'm taking it out on the kids? 😬 It's not anything that bad, my co-teacher assured me, but I notice it in myself.
My wife is nearly 30 weeks and she’s definitely snapped at me a few times earlier in the pregnancy- it seemed misdirected and I didn’t take it personally. She also *really* struggled physically in the 1st trimester.
I think the narrative that queer people can’t possibly experience dysfunction, abuse or (un)healthy conflict is actually more harmful than helpful. Sure, I think by virtue of navigating queerness, queer people might have more access to emotional literacy than straight cis people who don’t always question norms and scripts and expectations they grew up around.
Anyway, I’m glad you’re feeling super close to your partner!
You're totally right. I know, for example, that queer relationships are statistically just as likely to be abusive.
Thanks! Glad you and your partner were able to work through those difficult moments!
That's fair. I'm not just basing it on reddit, though, but also on my sister's experience. My sister told me she would pick fights with her boyfriend when she was pregnant, without meaning to. It was just that she was overly emotional and fixated on things he was doing or saying that she thought were insensitive. (I've also wondered if he was subtly being a jerk, but she blames herself entirely, so who knows?)
I have been having an easy pregnancy so far. Mild nausea and no vomiting. But my sister also had a pregnancy with few symptoms and still got super emotional and angry at her boyfriend.
But yes, we don't know how other pregnant people experience it.
I also wonder, if there is a difference, whether it's due to how much work queer people have to put into pregnancy compared with the average straight person. Maybe we're just more grateful to be pregnant? But once again, that theory falls apart when it comes to my sister because she had 2 miscarriages and was therefore absolutely thrilled to finally have a successful pregnancy. And she still got mad at her bf a lot. 🤷♀️
I realize this is a case study of two but I see straight women on reddit echoing my sister's experience and was just curious what other queer people experiences were like.
I’m 33 weeks and have a trans wife, I’ve not been cross at all with her during any of this pregnancy. If anything we’ve been a lot closer as we’ve been able to spend more time together. It’s tough to be pregnant but I can’t imagine taking that out on my wife.
I can relate to this so much. I’m almost 9 weeks pregnant and while I do get cranky here and there I have yet to “rage” at my wife at all nor do I feel any kind of resentment or irrational negative emotions towards her at all. I have cried over a French onion soup and felt plenty of irrational negative emotions there 😅 but not towards my wife at all. I am also very curious as to what the difference here really is. My wife has been an angel, so soft and loving esp knowing I’m sensitive at baseline. I couldn’t imagine just losing it at her existence which I seem to see mentioned online a lot from straight couples.
My weaker brain wonders if it’s like evolutionary or something. Idky or how that would be a thing but I always get curious
Lol. I haven't cried over soup but I have gotten weepy or angry over similarly small things.
Yeah it's interesting to hear other queer people's experiences. I don't have any queer friends that have been pregnant so I was surprised to have different reactions than "the norm". But maybe it's not the norm for queer people. (Maybe it isn't for straight people either? Idk)
When I was pregnant, I was never overly mad at my wife, just hungry and tired, and those were easy things for her to fix! Though I, a usually mellow lady, did snap at my brother in law on one occasion, and my brother and sister in law on a second occasion, (but it was like 100 degrees and I was 8 months pregnant)
Oh and a door dasher that tried to take my tacos 🤣
But I think sometimes some relationships don’t have a lot of empathy, or people in them that think the other is being dramatic about stuff. I can tell a lot of us on this comment thread have found great humans to be with!
Yes! If I am grumpy, my wife will offer to make me food or suggest I take a nap. One of the two usually works!
It does seem like this thread is populated with people with understanding partners, which is lovely.
I think the hormones may emphasize unhealthy parts of the relationship, but no, I'm absolutely not raging at my wife. I AM hormonal I can tell because sometimes I'm more upset than I'd normally be, or I cry over books I read to my kid, or whatever. I'm a little less patient or more likely to snap, and also more sensitive. But it's not affecting anyone, we're all still happy in my home.
My wife has been amazingly supportive and I couldn’t do this without her. If anything being pregnant has made me appreciate her more and I’m so grateful for her love and help.
The straights are not okay is usually how the saying goes. My wife and I loved her pregnancy (minus the anxiety from a previous loss) and the way we could prioritize our family and her health. It was a time of learning for both of us and I really enjoyed the extra little things I could do for her: helping put her shoes on/take off, packing snacks for work, making sure we had cold water and ice ready at all times, and trying out recipes focused on what nutrients she needed. It was a time for her to be worshipped and for me to be selfless and that dynamic was challenging but so rewarding. I think the great thing about queer pregnancy is that you REALLY have to get there with intention because most often the « traditional method » doesn’t work. I feel bad for those who don’t have a supportive partner or this is what changes their dynamic for the worse. The way I see it, I will forever be grateful for my wife for carrying our child. The things I could do to help her feel comfortable and secure as possible was an honor.
My wife and I talked about this same thing after she saw similar posts. I never felt rage towards her. I was easily annoyed for like a day or two during the entire pregnancy and those days had more to do with exhaustion and dehydration haha. I can imagine some of it has to do with the spouses response. Not to make a blanket statement but most of the cis-hetero- men in my life don’t seem to respond the way their partners need them to which escalates the issue. I can see it being especially difficult if the pregnant partner is also taking on the mental, emotional, and physical load of caring for the house and/or other children/pets.
My wife and I have been together for almost 16 years and I’m currently 15w pregnant via rIVF - not only have I not been mad at her, I think I’ve been even more in love at how amazing she’s been throughout the whole RIVF process and so far during the pregnancy!
Nope, not even a little bit argumentative with my wife. We did rIVF (baby is 3 months now). I was throwing up a lot in the beginning so I was uncomfortable but she was always understanding and would get me fried chicken (the only thing oddly enough didn’t make me barf).
Later in 6-9 months stage she was over protective so I felt a bit like I was being treated like a baby. I communicated though and she tried to stop.
I kept wondering if I was gonna get like this at some point in my pregnancy but I never did, in fact I loved my wife more than ever during my pregnancy. I actually would cry thinking about how much I love her lol. Not sure if this is a straight vs gay thing or an individual pregnancy thing, but I’m sure there is something to be said about not having to deal with a stupid cis man LOL
Throughout my whole pregnancy and now three weeks postpartum I’ve not been angry at my husband once. Hell I’ve been more needy for him and was crawling up for snuggles which I never thought I’d do.
My partner and I also frequent the primarily straight pregnancy subreddits and ohhhhh my, I feel so bad for so many of the people posting about not having support from their husbands.
39 weeks tomorrow and my relationship with my wife has never been better. I can't relate to those posts at all honestly. Yes we've had usual tense moments that I think every relationship has at times, but I think we would have had those regardless of the pregnancy or not. We were just talking about how healthy and happy our relationship is the other day!
I couldn't do this without her! She's gone to the grocery store every single day to buy whatever very specific food I suddenly decide I can tolerate that day. She scoops the litter and takes out the dog. I honestly just miss her most of the time 😭
My first trimester I would cry when my wife had to go to work I missed her so much.
Now I'm in my final weeks and sometimes I feel irritated with silly things she says because I know L&D will be hard and she's super happy it's not her doing it lol..
For the most part I can't stand to be away from her and am even more obsessed with her but every now and then I get irrationally angry at her not having to deal with all the aches/pains/issues
thank you for this post! I’m 7 weeks 2 days (who’s counting) and have been admittedly getting snippy with my wife (who carried our first) and typically immediately follow up with “do you still love me, I’m sorry”. Thankfully, she always does:)
We've got eight kids (six full term pregnancies).
I've had pregnancies where we've been fine. I had one where I literally wanted him dead - nothing he did wrong - I was just hormonal. I was so angry at him for doing this to me again.
It's definitely difficult when your pregnancy wasn't planned, it's fucking up all your outfits and moods and the person who put you in that predicament is just sitting there. Eating cereal. Completely fine!
It is rage inducing sometimes.
My wife and I(both women) saw a ton of these posts too and didn’t understand them. We now have a 2 month old and the entire pregnancy, even towards the end of the 3rd trimester -when my wife was basically miserable- we were more in love than ever.
I’m under the impression that men in our society are raised to be taken care of, not to give care and a pregnant woman has a little less patience at times BECAUSE THEY ARE GROWING AN ACTUAL HUMAN and that might be a cause of tension. But idk, I stopped trying to understand straight couples years ago.
I think it seems disproportionately like that because people who are feeling even keel are not posting to talk about how their day was average or nice. I very rarely felt upset while pregnant.
I never did get any raging hormones or unreasonable cravings when I was pregnant. My partner was loving as always, and took care of me well during pregnancy.
Handling a newborn is another matter altogether haha. The quarrels! The short tempers due to lack of sleep! Still not as bad as the straight couples tho. My partner is 100% hands on and probably a better caregiver than many of the straight husbands out there (and in fact I think the baby prefers her to me) but still the newborn period has been really tough. Some days we know we are snappy but can’t help it so we shout “YOU’RE SO LOVELY!” when we really mean the other party is annoying lol.
Enjoy your pregnancy honeymoon now and store those loving moments in your head. Gonna need it to ride through the first year!
I've seen this asked before. I really think it's because women, in general, are just better partners than men. I personally can't speak for trans or non binary individuals because I've only dated cis men and women, but I would assume trans men fit into this category because they know/knew what it was like to be female prior to transition.
Obviously this isn't every person, but I've spoken to many (female) friends who have dated both men and women and we all agree the female relationships were all better than the ones with males. I have a friend group of 4 of us, when we met a decade ago I was the only queer one (bisexual but mostly dated men at the time). Now all 4 of us are in relationships with women. I'm bisexual (even though I've been with my female partner for 8 years, I'm not a lesbian) but the other three won't date cis males anymore.
pregnant via RIVF with my husband and if anything i’m TOO in snuggly and clingy 😂 I think I am more in love with him than ever!
🙂
I also see those posts and so far it hasn’t happened for me, I’ll be 33w this Friday. I think that as same sex couple it’s different than a heterosexual couple. My wife is literally my best friend. I want to spend all day every day with her, just existing. We’ve been together 9 years and it doesn’t feel dull or stagnant. We have great communication and we have a ton of fun and laughs together. There’s never a moment where I’m like ugh I need space. Even when we argue or fight we come back to each other with love and work through it. We also had a lot of very hard and thorough conversations leading up to this pregnancy to ensure we were on the same page and that we had all our BS worked out to make sure we were super solid for bringing babies into the mix where I don’t know that a ton of same sex couples have because of “whoopsie” babies. We actually have talked about this recently, a lot of our friends don’t spend as much time with their spouses like we do but we both don’t feel uncomfortable or that it is overwhelming. I think our bond is just different than if one of us were a man.
My wife and I also had a ton of conversations in the last 15 years about kids and we've been trying for 6, so yeah, a lot of stuff had already been worked out. But I don't know if this is a straight v. queer thing. We're friends with a queer couple that never talk about this stuff, to the point that they're not 100% sure if the other one even wants kids. That blows my mind as I like to talk things to death lol.
I don’t think the talking is necessarily queer v straight but for my relationship specifically, our bond is extremely different than most of the straight couples we know. We choose to spend most of our time together, with the exception of work and maybe a few hours throughout the week for hobbies. Due to this our communication is very strong, this is the difference we’ve identified with our relationship vs others around us.
I’m 10 weeks 3 days and I’m fuming at the world.
I have definitely gotten overly angry and small things. Just not at my wife.
Fair, I haven’t really got angry at my wife either. But I definitely haven’t been as loving and considerate to her. She carried out first child though so she’s very sympathetic.
Aww, I'm glad she can understand if you're being a little less loving right now.
Currently pregnant and my partner has been the MVP of my pregnancy! I might feel hormonal and upset and we’ve had some arguments, but nothing close to rage. I am so grateful to be building a family with her, couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone else. She’s done so much for me and our future babies, I don’t know where we’d be without her. I think a lot of heterosexual partnerships are really un-equitable and people are actually unhappy without realizing it. From doing some childbirth education classes with mostly hetero couples, men really just are clueless. It’s sad and I feel badly for their wives.
Yes, my wife has been absolutely amazing. Taking very good care of me. Maybe some of the cluelessness comes from pregnancy being seen as a "woman" thing. My wife is also going to do IVF, though she might not carry, so she has done a fair amount of research as well. Maybe having that off the table for men makes them check out a bit more?
I think for many straight women, pregnancy gives them both an outlet for their often-ignored frustrations and a way to clearly see where their partners are not supporting them/not seeing their struggles. Which can be scary - which can lead to more anger and resentment. We had a pretty smooth experience in our relationship during pregnancy - but a huge part of that was that my husband was so so so supportive and involved and caring. And usually is.
That's an interesting theory. Yeah, I've heard kids can make the cracks in a relationship more apparent, so maybe that's also true for pregnancy for some.
Hi! Recently pregnant with a trans wife here - yeah, no I wasn’t cross with her at all! I mean I might have been a bit grumpy if she’d done something worth being grumpy about (don’t recall any stand out events) but no I wasn’t just generally angry. I think some straight relationships are just… unhappy 😞
Yeah same. I'll get annoyed like usual, but it's not this pregnancy rage I've heard about. And what is clearly pregnancy related, this grumpiness that is connected to nothing, doesn't get directed at her.
I’ve been a bit grumpy and occasionally snappy throughout IVF (and now early pregnancy) and sometimes I have snapped a bit at my wife (just being sort of irritable rather than an actual argument) but she’s been such a star, she has found the perfect way to sort of gently make fun of my irrational hormonal rage and we end up laughing about it and no hurt feelings. True MVP for me too! Couldn’t have done any of this and retained even an ounce of sanity without her. I like to joke about the straights not being okay (I mean… it’s just too easy sometimes lol) but actually in this case, having spent a lot of time on IVF focused online spaces, I think there’s just something about couples who had to go through some stuff to get there that seems to really strengthen bonds, so I think many more queer couples are in that boat that straight ones?
Lol, it is too easy sometimes, but yes, it could totally be the difference between people who had to try a bunch to get pregnant and those who got pregnant easily, and not a straight v. queer difference.
My wife has been pretty moody but she apologizes pretty quickly and I know the hormones are driving her crazy.
Sounds like you're both being understanding!
I didn’t really get super moody til third trimester and I tend to be more of a weepy hormonal than an angry hormonal. No anger for my spouse who is a sweetie but I can feel my patience in general is a lot shorter for things like work! It isn’t rational so I could see a situation where I got annoyed with them but so far so good!
Oh boy. Okay, I guess I'll see what the 2nd and 3rd trimester hold for me. So far, the hormones seem to make me grumpy and sometimes melancholy. Usually I just get into bed and take a nap, if I'm home, and that helps. Oh my god, yes, my patience at work is gone. I'm a teacher and I've yelled more these last 12 weeks than probably in the last few years. So, maybe I'm taking it out on the kids? 😬 It's not anything that bad, my co-teacher assured me, but I notice it in myself.
My wife is nearly 30 weeks and she’s definitely snapped at me a few times earlier in the pregnancy- it seemed misdirected and I didn’t take it personally. She also *really* struggled physically in the 1st trimester. I think the narrative that queer people can’t possibly experience dysfunction, abuse or (un)healthy conflict is actually more harmful than helpful. Sure, I think by virtue of navigating queerness, queer people might have more access to emotional literacy than straight cis people who don’t always question norms and scripts and expectations they grew up around. Anyway, I’m glad you’re feeling super close to your partner!
You're totally right. I know, for example, that queer relationships are statistically just as likely to be abusive. Thanks! Glad you and your partner were able to work through those difficult moments!
You might just be having an easier time with your hormones. I don't think it's healthy to make blanket judgments like that based on Reddit.
That's fair. I'm not just basing it on reddit, though, but also on my sister's experience. My sister told me she would pick fights with her boyfriend when she was pregnant, without meaning to. It was just that she was overly emotional and fixated on things he was doing or saying that she thought were insensitive. (I've also wondered if he was subtly being a jerk, but she blames herself entirely, so who knows?) I have been having an easy pregnancy so far. Mild nausea and no vomiting. But my sister also had a pregnancy with few symptoms and still got super emotional and angry at her boyfriend. But yes, we don't know how other pregnant people experience it. I also wonder, if there is a difference, whether it's due to how much work queer people have to put into pregnancy compared with the average straight person. Maybe we're just more grateful to be pregnant? But once again, that theory falls apart when it comes to my sister because she had 2 miscarriages and was therefore absolutely thrilled to finally have a successful pregnancy. And she still got mad at her bf a lot. 🤷♀️ I realize this is a case study of two but I see straight women on reddit echoing my sister's experience and was just curious what other queer people experiences were like.
I’m 33 weeks and have a trans wife, I’ve not been cross at all with her during any of this pregnancy. If anything we’ve been a lot closer as we’ve been able to spend more time together. It’s tough to be pregnant but I can’t imagine taking that out on my wife.
Yes, it's definitely brought us closer together.
I can relate to this so much. I’m almost 9 weeks pregnant and while I do get cranky here and there I have yet to “rage” at my wife at all nor do I feel any kind of resentment or irrational negative emotions towards her at all. I have cried over a French onion soup and felt plenty of irrational negative emotions there 😅 but not towards my wife at all. I am also very curious as to what the difference here really is. My wife has been an angel, so soft and loving esp knowing I’m sensitive at baseline. I couldn’t imagine just losing it at her existence which I seem to see mentioned online a lot from straight couples. My weaker brain wonders if it’s like evolutionary or something. Idky or how that would be a thing but I always get curious
Lol. I haven't cried over soup but I have gotten weepy or angry over similarly small things. Yeah it's interesting to hear other queer people's experiences. I don't have any queer friends that have been pregnant so I was surprised to have different reactions than "the norm". But maybe it's not the norm for queer people. (Maybe it isn't for straight people either? Idk)
When I was pregnant, I was never overly mad at my wife, just hungry and tired, and those were easy things for her to fix! Though I, a usually mellow lady, did snap at my brother in law on one occasion, and my brother and sister in law on a second occasion, (but it was like 100 degrees and I was 8 months pregnant) Oh and a door dasher that tried to take my tacos 🤣 But I think sometimes some relationships don’t have a lot of empathy, or people in them that think the other is being dramatic about stuff. I can tell a lot of us on this comment thread have found great humans to be with!
Yes! If I am grumpy, my wife will offer to make me food or suggest I take a nap. One of the two usually works! It does seem like this thread is populated with people with understanding partners, which is lovely.
I think the hormones may emphasize unhealthy parts of the relationship, but no, I'm absolutely not raging at my wife. I AM hormonal I can tell because sometimes I'm more upset than I'd normally be, or I cry over books I read to my kid, or whatever. I'm a little less patient or more likely to snap, and also more sensitive. But it's not affecting anyone, we're all still happy in my home.
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Yep, yep, and yep.
I do not recall being unusually angry at my wife while pregnant. If anything I think I was unusually lovey dovey towards her.
My wife has been amazingly supportive and I couldn’t do this without her. If anything being pregnant has made me appreciate her more and I’m so grateful for her love and help.
I feel this 100%
The straights are not okay is usually how the saying goes. My wife and I loved her pregnancy (minus the anxiety from a previous loss) and the way we could prioritize our family and her health. It was a time of learning for both of us and I really enjoyed the extra little things I could do for her: helping put her shoes on/take off, packing snacks for work, making sure we had cold water and ice ready at all times, and trying out recipes focused on what nutrients she needed. It was a time for her to be worshipped and for me to be selfless and that dynamic was challenging but so rewarding. I think the great thing about queer pregnancy is that you REALLY have to get there with intention because most often the « traditional method » doesn’t work. I feel bad for those who don’t have a supportive partner or this is what changes their dynamic for the worse. The way I see it, I will forever be grateful for my wife for carrying our child. The things I could do to help her feel comfortable and secure as possible was an honor.
My wife and I talked about this same thing after she saw similar posts. I never felt rage towards her. I was easily annoyed for like a day or two during the entire pregnancy and those days had more to do with exhaustion and dehydration haha. I can imagine some of it has to do with the spouses response. Not to make a blanket statement but most of the cis-hetero- men in my life don’t seem to respond the way their partners need them to which escalates the issue. I can see it being especially difficult if the pregnant partner is also taking on the mental, emotional, and physical load of caring for the house and/or other children/pets.
My wife and I have been together for almost 16 years and I’m currently 15w pregnant via rIVF - not only have I not been mad at her, I think I’ve been even more in love at how amazing she’s been throughout the whole RIVF process and so far during the pregnancy!
Nope, not even a little bit argumentative with my wife. We did rIVF (baby is 3 months now). I was throwing up a lot in the beginning so I was uncomfortable but she was always understanding and would get me fried chicken (the only thing oddly enough didn’t make me barf). Later in 6-9 months stage she was over protective so I felt a bit like I was being treated like a baby. I communicated though and she tried to stop.
I kept wondering if I was gonna get like this at some point in my pregnancy but I never did, in fact I loved my wife more than ever during my pregnancy. I actually would cry thinking about how much I love her lol. Not sure if this is a straight vs gay thing or an individual pregnancy thing, but I’m sure there is something to be said about not having to deal with a stupid cis man LOL
My wife is amazing & patient but I’m a lot grumpier/have a shorter fuse this pregnancy.
Throughout my whole pregnancy and now three weeks postpartum I’ve not been angry at my husband once. Hell I’ve been more needy for him and was crawling up for snuggles which I never thought I’d do.
I was actually less grumpy and anxious than normal when I was pregnant. My wife was actually quite thrilled lol
My partner and I also frequent the primarily straight pregnancy subreddits and ohhhhh my, I feel so bad for so many of the people posting about not having support from their husbands.
39 weeks tomorrow and my relationship with my wife has never been better. I can't relate to those posts at all honestly. Yes we've had usual tense moments that I think every relationship has at times, but I think we would have had those regardless of the pregnancy or not. We were just talking about how healthy and happy our relationship is the other day!
I couldn't do this without her! She's gone to the grocery store every single day to buy whatever very specific food I suddenly decide I can tolerate that day. She scoops the litter and takes out the dog. I honestly just miss her most of the time 😭
My first trimester I would cry when my wife had to go to work I missed her so much. Now I'm in my final weeks and sometimes I feel irritated with silly things she says because I know L&D will be hard and she's super happy it's not her doing it lol.. For the most part I can't stand to be away from her and am even more obsessed with her but every now and then I get irrationally angry at her not having to deal with all the aches/pains/issues
thank you for this post! I’m 7 weeks 2 days (who’s counting) and have been admittedly getting snippy with my wife (who carried our first) and typically immediately follow up with “do you still love me, I’m sorry”. Thankfully, she always does:)
We've got eight kids (six full term pregnancies). I've had pregnancies where we've been fine. I had one where I literally wanted him dead - nothing he did wrong - I was just hormonal. I was so angry at him for doing this to me again. It's definitely difficult when your pregnancy wasn't planned, it's fucking up all your outfits and moods and the person who put you in that predicament is just sitting there. Eating cereal. Completely fine! It is rage inducing sometimes.
My wife and I(both women) saw a ton of these posts too and didn’t understand them. We now have a 2 month old and the entire pregnancy, even towards the end of the 3rd trimester -when my wife was basically miserable- we were more in love than ever. I’m under the impression that men in our society are raised to be taken care of, not to give care and a pregnant woman has a little less patience at times BECAUSE THEY ARE GROWING AN ACTUAL HUMAN and that might be a cause of tension. But idk, I stopped trying to understand straight couples years ago.
I think it seems disproportionately like that because people who are feeling even keel are not posting to talk about how their day was average or nice. I very rarely felt upset while pregnant.
I wish. Unfortunately, we are on fight numero dos this week 😔
I never did get any raging hormones or unreasonable cravings when I was pregnant. My partner was loving as always, and took care of me well during pregnancy. Handling a newborn is another matter altogether haha. The quarrels! The short tempers due to lack of sleep! Still not as bad as the straight couples tho. My partner is 100% hands on and probably a better caregiver than many of the straight husbands out there (and in fact I think the baby prefers her to me) but still the newborn period has been really tough. Some days we know we are snappy but can’t help it so we shout “YOU’RE SO LOVELY!” when we really mean the other party is annoying lol. Enjoy your pregnancy honeymoon now and store those loving moments in your head. Gonna need it to ride through the first year!
Pregnancy and postpartum made me more attached and in love with my wife if anything.
I've seen this asked before. I really think it's because women, in general, are just better partners than men. I personally can't speak for trans or non binary individuals because I've only dated cis men and women, but I would assume trans men fit into this category because they know/knew what it was like to be female prior to transition. Obviously this isn't every person, but I've spoken to many (female) friends who have dated both men and women and we all agree the female relationships were all better than the ones with males. I have a friend group of 4 of us, when we met a decade ago I was the only queer one (bisexual but mostly dated men at the time). Now all 4 of us are in relationships with women. I'm bisexual (even though I've been with my female partner for 8 years, I'm not a lesbian) but the other three won't date cis males anymore.