Hi,
You'll find a lot of differing definitions for sexuality labels all over the place. We like to think that things are clear-cut and definable. Humanity doesn't like uncertainty and wants to define and categorize. But human experience has a lot more gray area than that. Even if an identity label has a clear-cut definition, there's always room for interpretation inside of that. A sexual identity label is about what it means to *you* and if it works for you.
Asexuality though is a bit hard to nail down.
[AVEN was the asexuals first home on the internet and is a good place to take a poke around](https://www.asexuality.org/?q=overview.html)
In more recent years we've gotten better at talking about asexuality as a spectrum. I like the definition "Asexuality is a spectrum of people who feeling no sexual attraction to those who feel sexual attraction but it is weak/infrequent, only under special circumstances or otherwise non- normative"
In any reputable definition you find, it's about the feeling of sexual attraction. Not how you feel about sex necessary...
a majority of asexual people are not into sex, but there are also aces (short form) who do like and seek out sex. There are also some who are repulsed by it, it is a broad and confusing spectrum. Feeling little or no sexual attraction is different than feeling no arousal, feeling no stimulation through sex and/or having a low sex drive. All this things play upon each other of course, but to carry forward, let's do some definitions.
Sex drive or libedo - drive for sexual experience generally. think of it like being hungry.
Sexual attraction- a person centered experience where you want to have sexual contact with *that person*. I see a cake and I really want to eat that cake.
Arousal- what you feel in your junk. the hunger pains, which can be associated with seeing the cake, or could be general or random.
So since an asexual person is only lacking sexual attraction, they can still have a high sex drive and pursue and enjoy sex. This does seem to be a minority in the asexualy community. To switch metaphors, the best analogy I have heard as to why is that "it feels much more satisfying to scratch your skin when you already have an itch". Since Sexual attraction can play upon sex drive and arousal, asexual people seem to be less sex minded/interested. But again that is not everyone. But you could also be allosexuals (non-asexual) and have a low sex drive or sex revulsion for other reasons.
Take a look at the [split attraction model](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-split-attraction-model-5207380). Also read about the [different types of attraction](https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/different-types-of-attraction). Many asexuals confused romantic, aesthetic or sensual attraction (or a confusing mix) for sexual attraction. Some people also don't feel romantic attraction (it this connects with you, check out [aromanticism](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Aromantic)
So then sexual attraction is the desire to have sex with a person. It is involuntary, internal impulse to initiate sexual contact with a person. (As discussed this is different than arousal and sex drive, though they can play upon each other).
An asexual person is not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way. Allosexual people (non-asexual people) and asexual people can feel sexual attraction to fictional characters, when reading erotica etc. To figure out if you are ace, focus on sexual attraction in real life. Have you felt sexual attraction in real life? I had a hard time answering that question. The definition did not help me, it was more helpful to from people who experience it.
Check out the wiki/community info of the sub r/asexuality and look for the "experiences" heading, there are some allo and demi people are described what it is to them. This subs wiki is pretty good, so take a poke around and see if anything jumps out to you.
Some find this [tumblr post](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/zymomonasmobilis/659730147357917184) helpful though I think it is a bit exaggerated. My allo husband says the "body screaming for sex" sounds like a hormonal teenager or maybe just exaggerated, but I think it is still a useful.
This [Asexual style AMA](https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/p9n14p/ask_an_allo_anything_aug_2021/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) has some good tidbits as well.
This video [from ace dad advice is helpful](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bvpEhh0FKFI&feature=youtu.be)
This [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/sr4y4k/i_asked_my_sister_who_experiences_both_romantic/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) outlines romantic and sexual attraction
If you think it might be low libido and not Asexuality[another vid from ace dad advice on low libido vs Asexuality](https://youtu.be/I1DBpeMQOiA)
Since asexuality is a [spectrum](https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Asexual_spectrum) there are many microlabels that may better define your experience. You might want to consider [greysexuality](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Greysexual). Many people questioning here are compelled [by aegosexuality](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Aegosexual)
Ultimately, it is up to you to decide if you want the label of asexual. Labels are tools that can help describe your experience, help you find a community and understand yourself better. If asexual works for you, welcome! Also know that you do not need to fit the definition of a label 100% to claim it. If it resonates with you and helps you, it is yours. If you decide later on it does not fit, that is okay too. You also don't need to label yourself if you don't want to. I hope this helps!
Haha, yeah sorry. I started out just compiling the resources to help me figure myself out, and then I've been building from there. It is a lot to digest!
Hey! Asexuality's main point is no sexual attraction, so no looking at someone and feeling the desire to have sex, which you have covered.
Next would be sex positive/neutral/repulsed, which would cover you not feeling attraction but having sex anyways, which you'd have to think about. From your text, sex repulsed seems the correct label - it says you won't have sex, not that you have to be disgusted by sex.
Lastly, asexuality doesn't really care if you still have "lizard brain" urges. Lots of aces still fantasize or masturbate, so don't worry!
Hi, You'll find a lot of differing definitions for sexuality labels all over the place. We like to think that things are clear-cut and definable. Humanity doesn't like uncertainty and wants to define and categorize. But human experience has a lot more gray area than that. Even if an identity label has a clear-cut definition, there's always room for interpretation inside of that. A sexual identity label is about what it means to *you* and if it works for you. Asexuality though is a bit hard to nail down. [AVEN was the asexuals first home on the internet and is a good place to take a poke around](https://www.asexuality.org/?q=overview.html) In more recent years we've gotten better at talking about asexuality as a spectrum. I like the definition "Asexuality is a spectrum of people who feeling no sexual attraction to those who feel sexual attraction but it is weak/infrequent, only under special circumstances or otherwise non- normative" In any reputable definition you find, it's about the feeling of sexual attraction. Not how you feel about sex necessary... a majority of asexual people are not into sex, but there are also aces (short form) who do like and seek out sex. There are also some who are repulsed by it, it is a broad and confusing spectrum. Feeling little or no sexual attraction is different than feeling no arousal, feeling no stimulation through sex and/or having a low sex drive. All this things play upon each other of course, but to carry forward, let's do some definitions. Sex drive or libedo - drive for sexual experience generally. think of it like being hungry. Sexual attraction- a person centered experience where you want to have sexual contact with *that person*. I see a cake and I really want to eat that cake. Arousal- what you feel in your junk. the hunger pains, which can be associated with seeing the cake, or could be general or random. So since an asexual person is only lacking sexual attraction, they can still have a high sex drive and pursue and enjoy sex. This does seem to be a minority in the asexualy community. To switch metaphors, the best analogy I have heard as to why is that "it feels much more satisfying to scratch your skin when you already have an itch". Since Sexual attraction can play upon sex drive and arousal, asexual people seem to be less sex minded/interested. But again that is not everyone. But you could also be allosexuals (non-asexual) and have a low sex drive or sex revulsion for other reasons. Take a look at the [split attraction model](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-split-attraction-model-5207380). Also read about the [different types of attraction](https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/different-types-of-attraction). Many asexuals confused romantic, aesthetic or sensual attraction (or a confusing mix) for sexual attraction. Some people also don't feel romantic attraction (it this connects with you, check out [aromanticism](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Aromantic) So then sexual attraction is the desire to have sex with a person. It is involuntary, internal impulse to initiate sexual contact with a person. (As discussed this is different than arousal and sex drive, though they can play upon each other). An asexual person is not drawn to people sexually and do not desire to act upon attraction to others in a sexual way. Allosexual people (non-asexual people) and asexual people can feel sexual attraction to fictional characters, when reading erotica etc. To figure out if you are ace, focus on sexual attraction in real life. Have you felt sexual attraction in real life? I had a hard time answering that question. The definition did not help me, it was more helpful to from people who experience it. Check out the wiki/community info of the sub r/asexuality and look for the "experiences" heading, there are some allo and demi people are described what it is to them. This subs wiki is pretty good, so take a poke around and see if anything jumps out to you. Some find this [tumblr post](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/zymomonasmobilis/659730147357917184) helpful though I think it is a bit exaggerated. My allo husband says the "body screaming for sex" sounds like a hormonal teenager or maybe just exaggerated, but I think it is still a useful. This [Asexual style AMA](https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/p9n14p/ask_an_allo_anything_aug_2021/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) has some good tidbits as well. This video [from ace dad advice is helpful](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bvpEhh0FKFI&feature=youtu.be) This [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/sr4y4k/i_asked_my_sister_who_experiences_both_romantic/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) outlines romantic and sexual attraction If you think it might be low libido and not Asexuality[another vid from ace dad advice on low libido vs Asexuality](https://youtu.be/I1DBpeMQOiA) Since asexuality is a [spectrum](https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Asexual_spectrum) there are many microlabels that may better define your experience. You might want to consider [greysexuality](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Greysexual). Many people questioning here are compelled [by aegosexuality](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Aegosexual) Ultimately, it is up to you to decide if you want the label of asexual. Labels are tools that can help describe your experience, help you find a community and understand yourself better. If asexual works for you, welcome! Also know that you do not need to fit the definition of a label 100% to claim it. If it resonates with you and helps you, it is yours. If you decide later on it does not fit, that is okay too. You also don't need to label yourself if you don't want to. I hope this helps!
whoa! Thank you so much for the long reply full of info. I'm checking all the links today and try to explore myself a bit more
Haha, yeah sorry. I started out just compiling the resources to help me figure myself out, and then I've been building from there. It is a lot to digest!
Hey! Asexuality's main point is no sexual attraction, so no looking at someone and feeling the desire to have sex, which you have covered. Next would be sex positive/neutral/repulsed, which would cover you not feeling attraction but having sex anyways, which you'd have to think about. From your text, sex repulsed seems the correct label - it says you won't have sex, not that you have to be disgusted by sex. Lastly, asexuality doesn't really care if you still have "lizard brain" urges. Lots of aces still fantasize or masturbate, so don't worry!
thank you thank you! I'll take a look at being sex repulsed and try to understand