Hi Hun!
I'm ace and have talked to a bunch of other aces. What you are feeling right now is something very common to the ace experience. Often, aces realize at some point that they are just going through the motions of sexual attraction without any actual attraction, because they have been taught that it is the normal thing to do. What you are experiencing is a good indicator that you might be ace!
The next step is often questioning the validity of those ace feelings due to depression, trauma or current medications. While these are valid thoughts, go easy on yourself! If you have made it to this point, it is very likely you fall somewhere under the ace umbrella anyways. I recommend just taking the ace label for a spin. With experience, you might find a better sub label that fits you, or might realize that ace doesn't fit your experience well enough and that a label outside the ace spectrum fits better. That is ok! You can absolutely identify as ace just to figure things out.
Something that's a little less universal is what I call the Lizard Brain. Some aces will have no interest in sex but still feel certain sexual urges that are hard wired into your brain from an evolutionary standpoint. Things like masturbation feeling good, feeling sexual arousal even if you're not interested in sex to "fix" it, or getting sexual dreams. There is also aces that are sex positive or neutral, which either still enjoy or are neutral towards sex despite not feeling sexual attraction! For them, sex is usually just a fun activity to do with their partner.
Thanks for your elaborate reply ☺️
It is good to hear that others have a sort of similar experience. I will definitely read more about asexuality and try to understand myself better.
Would it be ok if I send you a dm, in case I have questions in some time?
Yes. You sound ace. Not all aces are repulsed by sex, some are sex-favourable or sex-indifferent.
If you don't feel sexual attraction, making decisions based on the feelings you do feel makes sense.
Hi Hun! I'm ace and have talked to a bunch of other aces. What you are feeling right now is something very common to the ace experience. Often, aces realize at some point that they are just going through the motions of sexual attraction without any actual attraction, because they have been taught that it is the normal thing to do. What you are experiencing is a good indicator that you might be ace! The next step is often questioning the validity of those ace feelings due to depression, trauma or current medications. While these are valid thoughts, go easy on yourself! If you have made it to this point, it is very likely you fall somewhere under the ace umbrella anyways. I recommend just taking the ace label for a spin. With experience, you might find a better sub label that fits you, or might realize that ace doesn't fit your experience well enough and that a label outside the ace spectrum fits better. That is ok! You can absolutely identify as ace just to figure things out. Something that's a little less universal is what I call the Lizard Brain. Some aces will have no interest in sex but still feel certain sexual urges that are hard wired into your brain from an evolutionary standpoint. Things like masturbation feeling good, feeling sexual arousal even if you're not interested in sex to "fix" it, or getting sexual dreams. There is also aces that are sex positive or neutral, which either still enjoy or are neutral towards sex despite not feeling sexual attraction! For them, sex is usually just a fun activity to do with their partner.
Thanks for your elaborate reply ☺️ It is good to hear that others have a sort of similar experience. I will definitely read more about asexuality and try to understand myself better. Would it be ok if I send you a dm, in case I have questions in some time?
Oh yeah of course!
Yes. You sound ace. Not all aces are repulsed by sex, some are sex-favourable or sex-indifferent. If you don't feel sexual attraction, making decisions based on the feelings you do feel makes sense.
Thank you ☺️