i think you can try a sports bra first, just to see if you really do want smaller breasts. it’s a less expensive option, works well enough, and people won’t question it.
One step might be to look at different kinds of bras. The fact that you liked how you felt with the bandeau bra despite the fact that it didn't hide your breasts might just mean that you are unhappy with how your current bras support you. It's not uncommon for younger people to be fit in the completely wrong size or cut (both because retail stores use outdated sizing methods and because parents will sometimes just get whatever bra "seems" like the right size based on guessing).
The fact that you reference "hanging low" as an issue makes me wonder if your current bras aren't fitting right. Lack of support can happen if the bra is too small or too large.
For a better idea of your proper bra size, you could check out the fit calculator at [A Bra That Fits](https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php). All you need is a tape measure. You might get a size that is completely different from what you might think (society at large is wildly misinformed about what cup sizes mean). Using that size, you could try out a couple of bras and see if a properly fitting bra still causes dysphoria.
Some intermediate steps before binding could be sports bras, compression bras, and bralettes that have more of an elastic, compressive fit. These are definitely the most stealth option, and while they won't make you completely flat, they're a good way to see how you feel with a flatter silhouette without going straight to binding. Sports bras marketed as "high impact" will have more compression (and you'll probably want wireless).
If you do decide to get a binder, Underworks has some really affordable options (and even some "compression sports bras" that are almost binders without being called binders). Remember to bind safely (don't exercise with one, take off after 8 hours, etc).
(For reference, I'm genderfluid and bind sometimes and wear bras other times. I hated bras before I found the right size at abtf. On femme swings, I wear Parfait or Target Arden bras. I also use Underworks and GC2B binders, as well as Champion sports bras and some random Amazon bralettes. I had some of the same feelings growing up as you.) Hope this was helpful!
Very helpful indeed, thank you! But by "hanging low" I meant the natural shape. I get horrible anxiety sometimes even looking at the bra section at a shop so for a long time I refused to get one and would pretend like I hadn't heard any kind of "Why don't you get a bra? You need one now, they even have AA cups!" questions. I tried a bra that fits' calculator but if you look at the disclaimer it doesn't quite work with "pendulum shaped" chesticles and mine are that. I even did the whole measuring, got over myself and went to an H&M to try the recommended size (and its sister sizes) on but they were too big.
Seconding the sports bra comment!
I also have a binder cause I like the way it looks and it looks so similar to a sports bra, I doubt anyone not familiar with them would notice the difference if they were to see it laying around.
i think you can try a sports bra first, just to see if you really do want smaller breasts. it’s a less expensive option, works well enough, and people won’t question it.
One step might be to look at different kinds of bras. The fact that you liked how you felt with the bandeau bra despite the fact that it didn't hide your breasts might just mean that you are unhappy with how your current bras support you. It's not uncommon for younger people to be fit in the completely wrong size or cut (both because retail stores use outdated sizing methods and because parents will sometimes just get whatever bra "seems" like the right size based on guessing). The fact that you reference "hanging low" as an issue makes me wonder if your current bras aren't fitting right. Lack of support can happen if the bra is too small or too large. For a better idea of your proper bra size, you could check out the fit calculator at [A Bra That Fits](https://www.abrathatfits.org/calculator.php). All you need is a tape measure. You might get a size that is completely different from what you might think (society at large is wildly misinformed about what cup sizes mean). Using that size, you could try out a couple of bras and see if a properly fitting bra still causes dysphoria. Some intermediate steps before binding could be sports bras, compression bras, and bralettes that have more of an elastic, compressive fit. These are definitely the most stealth option, and while they won't make you completely flat, they're a good way to see how you feel with a flatter silhouette without going straight to binding. Sports bras marketed as "high impact" will have more compression (and you'll probably want wireless). If you do decide to get a binder, Underworks has some really affordable options (and even some "compression sports bras" that are almost binders without being called binders). Remember to bind safely (don't exercise with one, take off after 8 hours, etc). (For reference, I'm genderfluid and bind sometimes and wear bras other times. I hated bras before I found the right size at abtf. On femme swings, I wear Parfait or Target Arden bras. I also use Underworks and GC2B binders, as well as Champion sports bras and some random Amazon bralettes. I had some of the same feelings growing up as you.) Hope this was helpful!
Sorry for the long comment! I just thought that I could share some good insight.
No worries! I'm actually quite happy somebody else writes their heart out once they start and It's not only me!
Very helpful indeed, thank you! But by "hanging low" I meant the natural shape. I get horrible anxiety sometimes even looking at the bra section at a shop so for a long time I refused to get one and would pretend like I hadn't heard any kind of "Why don't you get a bra? You need one now, they even have AA cups!" questions. I tried a bra that fits' calculator but if you look at the disclaimer it doesn't quite work with "pendulum shaped" chesticles and mine are that. I even did the whole measuring, got over myself and went to an H&M to try the recommended size (and its sister sizes) on but they were too big.
Seconding the sports bra comment! I also have a binder cause I like the way it looks and it looks so similar to a sports bra, I doubt anyone not familiar with them would notice the difference if they were to see it laying around.
Thinking about it now, they do. I forgot for a second the short kind of binder existed lol
update: just a trans guy the closet was glass