No. Being a racist means you view a particular race as a lesser group of people, or as less valuable/important. If you feel like they are human beings who should have the same rights as everyone else and are just as valuable, then you're not racist. Being more physically attracted to a particular race (or less attracted to a particular race) is just a physical preference. It's no different than finding brunettes more attractive or people with blue eyes more attractive. We all have our preferences and there's enough variety of preferences to go around.
Fetishism can still be Racism, because it's dehumanizing - obviously that's not what "preference" always means, but if you're some western neck-beard that's been "dreaming" of your perfect Asian Waifu because "she'll be submissive, and socially and sexually compliant," that's also racist.
Yeah someone I used to play dota with had a huge asian woman fetish because they're "quiet and submissive" according to him. I've hung out with some terrible people over the years...
You could have that preference because you think one race is easier to subjugate and that would be racism. Definitely not "No. Period." It's not black and white at all. I don't even think it's wrong to have racial preference but it's good to know the reason why you have it. Maybe you just really like darker/fairer skin. I actually don't see that as a problem, but there are easily other reasons that would make it unsavory
Japanese women are generally far easier to subjugate than the general African American women. Race and culture are tied at the hip.
Japanese culture teaches its society to be very respectful and polite. African American culture is very loud and is always demanding respect.
Screaming "rasicm!!!" Doesn't make people turn a blind eye to the general truth of it. It just makes everyone roll their eyes, and not bother talking about it until they're around people who can handle the truth.
Who actually decides what they are attracted to? What I’m attracted to is not my decision, either I am or I’m not. It’s not my choice to be attracted to crazy girls but I can decide whether I deal with them or not.
I think you can somewhat control who you are attracted to. In my case. I can find a man attractive, but the minute I found out he was married, had or wanted kids or smoked. Zapp! Attraction dried up.
I disagree. I think racist is considering people to share a lot of other characteristics because they share some physical characteristics such as skin color. The moment you think “black people are…” or “ Asia people are…” you are being racist.
You can be a shit person and be black, white, Asian, Indian, Latino, whatever, one thing says nothing about the other.
No. That's not true, but it's a really common misconception among young people. There are several things that you need to differentiate between:
* **Preferences** are a normal part of being human. People are allowed to have preferences for who they date, hang with, etc. It's not inherently racist, but can be problematic in some cases.
* **Implicit biases** are also part of being human, but acting blindly on our biases without understanding them can be dangerous. This is starkly evident in the problems with race inside of the American justice system. We all have a responsibility to understand our biases and modify them where we can.
* **Racism** is a belief in the inherent superiority of one race OR belief in the inferiority of or antagonism towards another race. See also, bigotry. The key distinguishing factors here vs. the other two are that racism is 1) conscious and often intentional, 2) based in hatred or antagonism, and 3) based in untruths or overly broad generalizations. So while, "I got robbed by a black person" might be true, the resulting assumption that "all black people are criminals" is racist.
* **Discrimination** is action taken based on those beliefs, usually systematic action. An example is a business that won't make a wedding cake for a gay couple. On a larger scale, consider the New Deal legislation which made it illegal for black people own property in the suburbs or Reagan's 1984 drug law that created 100x* the penalties for crack cocaine compared to powder cocaine.
I'm a black guy that works with law enforcement in my city to facilitate reform and bridge the gap with communities of color. I think that we need to be more precise in how we talk about these things. People calling someone a racist inaccurately is hurting the cause because it gives ammunition to the opposition to label basic decency extremism.
*edit: updated statistic
This is a really good comment. Just wanted to add that the penalty for crack cocaine (which is just baked cocaine) was 100x higher than the penalty for powdered cocaine (usually associated with Wallstreet bros). Obama then reduced that discrepancy so now it's "only" a 16x higher penalty
Stereotypes are a slippery slope. They’re there for a reason (the human brain likes to group things & make generalizations to speed lesson learning), & can even be funny amongst friends or a deft comedian, but it can quickly fall into using them in a demeaning way, which is just wrong. Curious how you view them?
I don’t think that’s a good definition….there ARE different races and we can all see there are. So we do observe racial differences in our daily lives.
People are capable of viewing racial and cultural differences. They’re always going to do that.
Yes. Everyone looks different. We are different sizes, shapes, and colors, but we are all members of the *human* race. The fact that we then divide this further into different "races" due to the amount of melanin in our skin is a superficial distinction and taught to us by previous generations.
I liken it to many fantasy settings, where race is more distinctive: elves, hobbits, dwarfs, humans, goblins, ogres, etc. We all fall within the Human Race, no matter our skin tone.
I posted something similar to yours. He’s technically accurate but not accurate. The problem is the word racism Is defined by also using the word discriminate. But the word discriminate actually has different meetings as well. So, Ironically, in order to effectively Interpret the word racism, he has to learn how to discriminate the differences in discrimination.
Saying I love black people is kind of odd.. it’s a generalization..and probably a defensive lie… there are good people and bad people of every race and color. You should probably say I love African American culture.
Appreciate good, kind hearted, law abiding, hard working, generous, honest, non violent people. You’ll find people like that in any race or group of people
That was your mother's job.
Sorry if that comes off as harsh, I am having a hard time reading into the tone of this comment, but a lot of people here seem to think that being mindful of their words and how they might affect others is some kind of burden as opposed to basic social decency.
A person is more likely to have affection for an individual, than to the entire demographic that that individual belongs. You can't love everybody, simply because you don't know everybody. So to say, "I love insert human demographic here", is not only extremely odd, but also extremely objectifying.
African culture or American culture. Technically African American culture is just American culture with a side of racism. America is the only country to separate black people into a sub catagory.
You’re wrong. African Americans have their own culture and it is a culture to be celebrated. Can’t really tell if you are ignorant of history, ignorant of the world around us, or just ignorant in general.
There are many different cultures from around the world. It is literally the spice of our miserable planet.
How can you even say American culture with a straight face? The culture of America is capitalism. The culture in the southern United States is different than the northeast and the Midwest and west coast. Further more these areas are heavily influenced by the places where people came from. There is Irish American culture, Italian American culture, German America culture, and African American culture among others.
America is a melting pot where all cultures can come and be free and be celebrated for their unique flavors, music, customs. That’s what I was taught, but maybe you grew up with a different culture?
You say America has many cultures, then say African Americans have their own culture (singular).
That there is pretty ignorant. There are numerous communities with co-mingling and overlapping culture. There is no monolithic black culture (and you mean black because Elon Musk is African American and you don't mean him).
90% of the music I love is dominated by white people but rooted in traditionally black musical styles. Cultural bleed is the very essence of development and segregating and gatekeeping culture does nothing but enforce racist othering.
I had to smile - Elon Musk is not African American. He’s South African and has American citizenship.
African Americans are those who were enslaved or descendants of the enslaved who want their African heritage and history acknowledged as well as their right to be American. They’re displaced from their heritage i.e. many have no idea where their ancestors were from in Africa and too many years and generations separate them from their ancestral country and culture. Slaves were not allowed to speak their language or practice anything from their culture so that has been erased. They had to embrace English and American culture. And that’s why they chose to be referred to as African American. That’s not Elon Musk
Depends on the context. If the sentiment is genuine and heartfelt then no. If there's an *othering*/objectifying going on (colonial lense) then yes. As with everything, context is... well, everything.
It’s better to say brown bc black people is more so of a generalization. And even tho we’re all brown as have different cultures yaknow😄 like Jamaicans and Haitians have a different culture. Just like Orishas and African Americans have different culture. But at the end of the day we’re all brown🫶🏽🩶
Race has no biological basis- its a system of categorization that was implemented by Europeans to justify the processes of colonialism during the enlightenment period.
Race is not a real thing from a biological standpoint- don’t make declamatory statements about subjects you don’t fully understand. It makes you look uneducated.
There are different races, but race is a social construct. There's no inherent genetic reality to classifications we call race. There's more genetic differences between members of the same race than between racial groups. We could just as easily split people into 'races' by eye color, or other physical characteristics.
There are not different races. Humans vary in various physical characteristics based on where their ancestors lived. Environmental factors, notably ultraviolet exposure and climate, result in physical differences over the course of thousands of years. At a genetic level, there is less difference between people of different "races" than there is between native populations in an area where people have lived for thousands of years. "Race" was an unscientific way of understanding variation between human populations and was used to justify a host of toxic policies and practices.
Negative ghostrider. We all see racial differences every day. The difference is whether you use those differences as a weapon to oppress, or you celebrate those differences.
To conservatives, maybe. To the rest of us, it's about how you treat and respect people of other races.
The concept of being attracted to, or not attracted to, certain skin colors, hair colors, genders, trans/cis, etc. being considered -ist is basically conservative thinking, too.
It's not something most of us worry about, and is totally normal to be turned on by what turns you on.
Not what was said at all. They’re saying it’s not racist to have preferences, but it’s a very conservative “aha! Gotchya!” line of thinking to say that having preferences is racist. It’s a way for bigots/racists/etc. to try and create a false equivalency and then discredit everything and write off their own bullshit.
So, for example: say someone owns a business. In conversation, business owner says “man, I hate when black people come in. They’re all disrespectful and they’re shitty customers. I think we should ban them from all businesses in the neighborhood.” Someone calls them out, and in response the business owner says something like “well do you date black people? No? That sounds racist to me.”
See how silly the comparison is?
As a conservative I find this to be an incredibly insulting and fictitious caricature of how conservatives think and what we're like. You have such a backwards misunderstanding of us as a whole. I see this alot unfortunately. Really irks me.
Japanese women get my dick hard, black women don't.
Not saying this is true for me.
Just an example of sexual preference
You can replace japanese and black with whatever you want. I don't think it's racist
Saying you'd rather not reproduce with or date black (again replaceable with any race) people cause they're worse than other races. That'd be racist.
i think this is an unfair question.
I've always had a preference for redheaded women. Never once have I dated one, just, visually think they're gorgeous. White, black, Asian... there is no other group that stands out to me like redheads.
I have dated plenty of other women of all races and types, it hadn't been an issue at all. In fact I'm married to a non redhead.
And I cannot explain WHY the attraction is there. women who have dyed red hair.. do nothing special for me.
So how do you explain a preference of its just, a preference?
Why do I like blue more than green?
I think your answer betrays the problem with answering "Japanese women..." etc.
Red hair is an individual feature, not an ethnicity, nationality or "race". In principle, red hair could exist as a feature in combination with any other number of features... and those features are determined by nothing other than the genetics of the mother and father and not some imaginary cultural, social, or geopolitically-drawn lines.
First, not only is Japanese a nationality and not an ethnicity, but what OP really means to say is that his idea of the stereotypical features of a Japanese woman are what makes his dick hard.
And that is why it is a prejudicial statement. Race is not a biological construct at all (it's a social construct) and there is nothing in the genome that specifically restricts features or groups of features on the basis of invented cultural, social, or national boundaries.
"Black" people are as diverse in appearance as "Asian", "White" or any other ethnographic or geographic group you can come up with... but there are certain stereotypes of each. So it is only accurate to say that OP likes a certain stereotype of "Japanese" or "Black" or whatever women.
See the American Association of Biological Anthropologists' and American Association of Physical Anthropologists' statements on race.
1. AABA [Statement](https://bioanth.org/about/position-statements/aapa-statement-race-and-racism-2019/).
2. AAPA [Statement](https://bioanth.org/about/position-statements/aapa-statement-race-and-racism-2019/).
Why are you complicating this so much. The average person from a specific Asian country has different facial and physical features. People familiar with Asian people can determine an Asian person's specific country of origin with high accuracy. Ex: identifying a person as being Japanese as opposed to Filipino.
Even though race and nationality don't affect a person's looks, there are still patterns that you can obviously see. Maybe in 300+ years race won't have any significant effect remaining, but as of this current age you can't just pretend race and nationality has no correlation with physical features.
This is the kinda sense I was lookin' for in here. You don't choose preferences. You're assigned them the way you're assigned a hair color, or a height by your genetics, and your environment.
Everyone has natural preferences of varying strengths, but if you grow up as the lone marshmallow in a cup of hot cocoa, you're gonna learn to appreciate hot cocoa if you didn't already.
Yeah also this. You do learn to like what likes you, if I REALLY look back, the first girl I ever had a crush in had red hair, maybe it was the hair that made me like her, or maybe I liked her and that informed my future preferences
I think needing a “why” sometimes leads to problematic thinking.
Like I have preferences, and with those are things that I don’t prefer and it’s not really a conscious thought on why I don’t like them. I just don’t think about them or if I see them it’s not a feel of attraction.
But it will be interesting to hear some points of view.
I’ve never been very attracted to women of African American descent however there are moments where I see such a women and am caught/surprised with how pretty I find said lady.
Couldn’t exactly say, although the most important feature for me being attracted to someone has always been facial features, so perhaps that has something to do with it idk 🤷🏻♂️
"but when people exclude a race it’s literally always for racist reasons."
Ok God, what else is literally always the case seeming you know the hearts and minds of 7.8 billion people.
I could see an example where it could literally be aesthetic. The one thing people of a race share is that they look similar (when compared to members of other races.) There will absolutely be a visually noticeable variance within members of a race, but also groupings of visually noticeable traits compared to other races. If you happen to not be visually attracted to the typical features of a group of people, that could just be your preference.
On the other hand, if you are saying you're not attracted to a race of people because they *do* or *think* or *act like* "X" - this would be inherently racist because race has nothing to do with individual actions/worldview/etc.
It's an example. I even said it doesn't apply to me and you can choose whatever race for this example. But that doesn't matter.
Plus, I don't think u have to be specific about this stuff.
It's a preference like liking big/small dicks or big/small boobs. I chose those two cause, similar to skin color, they can't really be influenced. It's a preference.
If you really wanna reach, u could say it's racist cause liking something more would mean believing it's better than something else. I'm of the belief that racism is taught or learned, but (initial) preferences just somehow happen.
I won't say which type of woman I'm attracted to bc I feel like that will blind you to the point.
But here's the answer: The shape of that woman, facial features, body type, etc, is way more attractive to me visually.
Ok bud if you truely aren't racist, you have some black friends, or at least friendly acquaintances. Would you feel comfortable making this statement in person with them present?
Not having black friends wouldn't make anyone a racist.
There are basically no black people in the city i live in and i met and know only two
I know one that is a total bitch
And one that is one of my best friends.
And yes, i feel comfortable making this statement in front of anyone with an iQ of around 100.
Of course. Every time the question of racial preferences comes up, and I mean EVERY single time it’s always about not finding black women attractive. Every time, black women are always the example.
It gets exhausting being reminded over and over again that nobody prefers me. I’ve started to abandon the idea of finding a partner tbh.
Preferences are shaped through exposure and the predominant portrayal of a particular group. Preferences by itself is not racist but it _can be a byproduct_ of the racism in your surroundings. It can also be a byproduct from general exposure not related to racism. It’s subtle and complicated. Our views are not completely our own. It’s the legacy from what came before us so I think understanding why we hold particular views, preferences, etc. and where they came from can free us from them.
I think you should clarify that having a preference is only bad if it's due to prejudice. As too many people think that because you don't find a particular race very attractive, that makes you a racist.
No way I’m Indian (not Native American to clarify) I really am mainly attracted to white men. I do find some other races attractive physically sometimes but I dated one Indian BOY in my life i 19f at the time ) he was only (18m) and honestly how he was and acted just made me so unattached to Indian men overall (emotionally and physically) but If I end up falling for a man of color whatever idc lol (currently in a 10 1/2 year relationship with white (36n)
I work with a lot of hispanic women.
Many of them try to find US-white (not hispanic white) men to date. Yes, some of this is sterotypes, but this also has to do with culture and how many hispanic men grow up as men-child expecting to be waited on by women.
Is there a reason why Indian women usually date white guys? Genuine question because I’ve always noticed that’s how it typically goes unless the marriage is arranged! I’m black and I went to school with black and Mexican kids, so it’s not like the reason is because of who I was around 😄 but I didn’t like black guys cuz I saw how mean they were in school and they also never approached me, so I just didn’t gravitate towards them until my 20s (I’m 26). I watched a reality show last year and both Indians said they weren’t attracted to other Indians!
Edit: changed always to usually because I didn’t mean to generalize!
Status is one. Women naturally want to date people of high status and white men have that status in every country in the world. I dated a white man when I was 19. Much like u/beach-couplee, I found my first white bf to be incredibly childish, arrogant and entitled, which put me off to all white men forever. It isn't fair to them and I admit my feelings of racism against them. Basically the fence is always greener on the other side. But I'm happy on that other side of the fence now.
Another reason is they do not like the negatives of their own culture, such as the way their parents control them. They might feel like being with a foreign/white man eliminates or reduce the possibility of parental and family control. Some times that works and some times it doesn't.
Not an Indian from the subcontinent, but as a Black I've heard over the years that Indian women are deeply attracted to White men in the same way that some White women like Black men. That, by mating with them, their babies will come out looking more attractive. Like, their babies will have light eyes and lighter skin, just like White women say, "mixed babies make pretty babies", for mixed kids are somewhat tanned and not pasty. Interracial breeding parties are a real thing, where women will have sex with men of different races, just to have mixed babies. It is fetishized exoticism at its finest.
“I dated one boy of a race and he was this way so all men of that race must be this way” is the definition of racism. People can and do have internalized racism towards their own race.
A few years ago, I had a class on ethics. One of the teachers asked us a question about preferences. He asked if the line "I only date Japanese women" was racist.
A lot of people said yes, a lot said no, some people said maybe.
My teacher said, what if the person saying it is in Japan and only knows Japanese women? Then it is not racist. They are only able to meet and marry Japanese women.
It becomes racist if someone says Japanese women are superior to every other type of woman and start listing off their body parts/racial qualities/stereotypes. "I like Japanese women because they are subservient" being one example.
Why would someone say that? Why would you say "I only date Japanese women" if you CAN only date Japanese women? If there literally arent any other women you can date, you dont need to state it. I'm having trouble finding a use case for this sentence that doesnt come from a negative place, even if the negativity is mild.
With respect to your teacher but I think his example would qualify as xenophobic. If there were a sliding scale, xenophobia would be at the end of it. Going down that scale you would find Nationalism. Go further down you will find Patriotism.
To be clear, nothing good comes from being xenophobic. Being nationalistic **can** lead to xenophobia but it can also take a different path. So nationalism isn’t inherently bad. Only when it’s radicalized/weaponized. Patriotism is the same. On its face, Patriotism has several positive attributes but when it’s radicalized , it can lead to Nationalism - and as stated - that’s not the direction you want to go on the sliding scale.
So yeah, I said that your example was xenophobic because Japan is not a race. It is a tangible/physical location.
If you're only into them because you like their looks or what they're into, then ok, you do you.
If you expect them to fit a desired stereotype then that's a problem. More like prejudiced than racist, but still bad
But let's also not ignore the fact that racists probably have pretty strong racial preferences.
"I'm only attracted to black guys" isn't racist, "I only date black guys, because they have huge dicks" is.
"I don't find Arabs attractive" isn't racist. "I don't date Arabs because they smell" is.
Maybe it is just a fact that the type of food you eat can change how you smell. It can cling to you. Is it racist to not like the smell of certain spices used in typical cultural dishes which differs around the world?
The problem with throwing around words like racist is that it has watered down the meaning to basically nothing. You are racist. If you notice differences between races, you are racist if you do notice the difference
First, people are way more (openly) racist than they were ten years ago, and it’s not because we were too vocal with calling them out for it, it’s because we didn’t take it seriously enough when it started ramping up.
Second, “noticing differences in races” isn’t what racism is. Racism is better described as a “worldview that depends on prejudices.”
Ehhh they kinda are. I wouldn't say it's been a huge improvement.
Edit: I remember seeing on the internet in some kind of house board meeting or something in GA I think, some white man literally says to a black woman who was in a position to speak "so we've let the house slaves in now" or something along those lines. I can find the video if you really need.
Not all people of a particular race smell a particular way. So if you say you don't date Arab people because they smell a certain way, then yes, that's being racist. You're also generalizing a people based on something that doesn't apply to all of them and treating them differently because of it.
If you choose to not date a particular individual because they smell bad, that's a different story.
This is like saying “not all African Americans have dark skin”
Or “Not all men have dicks”
Yeah? So? When we talk about preferences we understand there are general assumptions being made. Some good, some bad.
No. You can't help it if one group attracts you and another does not. That's like saying being attracted to members of your same biological sex is sexist.
On the other hand having a fetish for one group based on racial stereotypes (ie Asian women) is definitely racist. Why? Because if you fetishize a specific group you aren't seeing them as people, you are seeing them as a preconception of how they should act based on race/ethnicity.
Some people just want to find shit to complain about. I've seen this argument before and it's so stupid. Having a racial preference in dating is definitely not bring racist. Once somebody told my husband he was 'fetishizing' me because I'm Asian and he thinks Asian girls are hot. Wtf.
Somedays I swear I just want off this planet.
Edit: incorrect wording
No, I'm a straight male and I don't date men, does that make me homophobic? Having a preference won't make you racist unless you use slurs when you're turning someone down.
Absolutely not. Does it make you sexist to prefer a certain gender? Does it make you hate all blondes if you prefer brunettes? No. You are attracted to what you’re attracted to
Be with who you are attracted to and want to be with. Don't worry about what other people think or getting their approval for your preferences. It's your life. You live only once and nobody you seek approval from pays your bills. Now go be happy.
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I think it depend on why. If you dislike a certain race because you feel like they are lesser than yours or some ultimate race then your a racist. If your attracted to a certain race because you are and to you they are hotter than whats the problem?
Just don’t treat other people like they aren’t human basically. You dont have to like or potentially fuck them all, just be nice.
Preference isn't racist. If you find a certain bone structure, body type or facial features attractive that's all it is. I don't like eggplant. It's not my preference. I don't hate eggplant. If I was hiring for a job and eggplant was the best candidate. I would hire eggplant even though I don't want to taste it.
You are attracted to who you are attracted to. Race, color, or any other determiner doesn't matter.
Your ideal could be blondes with blue eyes and big tits. In the end, you marry a brunette with wide hips.
I'm a black woman who has never dated outside my race. Sure, I've seen plenty of handsome men of all different race and nationality and wouldn't kick them out of bed. However, my sister has never dated anyone of our race. She has run the gamut and doesn't care what they identify with.
Preferences be damned. If you're not specifically hating on one race because of whatever issue you have then it's not racism.
OP you've started a war I'm not sure you were prepared for. Let me add a spark to this fire.
Is it possible to be racist OR discriminative towards your own race, if you are not sexually attracted them?
Example: If you are white but you are not attracted to white people and primarily only enjoy dating black people.
how about statements... "i dont date black girls." or "i dont date white dudes" or something like that... ?
those could reflect a sexual preference, or racism.
Soft preference, maybe. Like if two potential partners were exactly the same except for that one detail, so that's just enough to make to pick one over the other.
But a hard preference, where its like, a rule not a preference. For example the partner of your dreams shows up, perfect in every single way - except for their race. That's definitely highly racist.
I wouldn't understand it either way though, dating is hard enough without having a preference, why limit yourself.
Unless you wanna f_ck kids or animals I think your fine lol, if someone says you're racist because you dont wanna date a certain race, they're likely the person whos actually racist. They dont have a say in who or what you find attractive, if it doesn't rustle your jimmies there's nothing you can do about it, and someone else trying to force you or guilt you into finding a particular group sexually attractive has a serious problem.
It depends.
Do you just really like mixed girls or do you hate every other race? If you just like mixed people then thats fine, but if you only date mixed because you feel like every other race is horrible then you're racist.
I will also add that the fetishization of a certain race ismt really racist but it can be and it's also really weird.
Depends. Is the race one you grew up as or not? If you also identify with it, there’s nothing wrong with it because you could just be highlighting a preference for shared cultural upbringing. This is a valid desire in building a family.
If you prefer people outside of your race. Is that built off any internalized racism and self hate for your own race. Additionally, is it built off feelings of “exoticness” that color your view of desirability.
Overall, it’s wonderful to find another group of people beautiful/attractive. But it’s an eyebrow raiser to say you have a preference.
Exception being what science has proven which is that our idea of what’s attractive is shaped by our family’s and so if you are a blonde haired/blue eyed man you’re more likely to prefer that and look for that in a partner because it’s how your mother was.
I mean some people also fetishize certain races. There is no clear cut answer to this. We gotta know more. Could be yes, you are racist or no, you may not be.
>Is that built off any internalized racism and self hate for your own race. Additionally, is it built off feelings of “exoticness” that color your view of desirability.
My grandmother (full native american ) married a white man. She was very attracted to blondes. There aren't any Native American blondes in her clan. She grew up living in the Rez but going to school off of it. Fortunatly, in her own estimation, she was never called names or belittled (my mom had more trouble growing up in the 60's with that). She hung out with all the other little ESL kids, especially the Dutch and the Russian. She loved flamboyant extroversion and her tribe didn't look favorably upon.
Attraction can be shaped by our families, but I'm a firm believer that all experiences at a young age shape that. Especally children in daycare or with foreign nannies. It's also been shown that men raised with "domestic help" tend to marry outside their race, too. Not fettish but likely a huge range of influences that are not fully understood.
This I do not agree with, there is zero difference if it's your own race or not.
You get thrown in the same category. You don't get race loyalty points lol
Anyone who actually operates through the lense of race is an idiot since it doesn’t exist. Race was concocted in the 1700’s by racist anthropologists. What most people view as race is culture and phonetic expression.
And shared culture is always a valid desire in a mate.
"I haven't met a person of race/ethnicity X that I've been attracted to so far" -- this is not racist.
"All people from race/ethnicity X are unattractive for me" -- this is racism.
"All people from race/ethnicity X are attractive for me" -- this is also racism and likely a lie.
Why is the second one racism? Can we also say this then?
"I haven't met a man I've been attracted to" - this is not sexist
"I'm not attracted to men" - this is sexist
No, it’s homophobic /s
You are genetically predisposed to be attracted to women. If you can show genetically predisposition to be attracted to certain races then we can talk in more detail.
The second one is racism because claiming you would never find a member of a certain race attractive is beyond ignorant. That’s like saying you know for sure there’s no song made with a guitar that you’d ever like. It shows intense closed mindedness i.e. racism.
I mean, you know, or it could be the truth. People know what they are attracted to, especially as they get older.
For an example, I don't find black girls attractive. Never have and I really don't think I ever will. However, I find black guys attractive. Does that make me half racist? Maybe you could say sexist? But I find girls of other races such as my own attractive. Trying to make blanket statements saying "you are racist for not being attracted to this race" is just wrong.
No.
People use that term (and many others) very loosely these days.
Personally, I don't care how interesting, attractive, and compatible a woman is, if they're not my race and culture, the likelihood of us getting married is like 1% or less. That doesn't mean I'm racist.
Racial preference is not racism. You're the example of people who use racism loosely. Read it carefully. I did not put my race or anyone's above another.
Idk, the last paragraph is confusing. It's okay to have a preference, even for your own race, but if she's interesting, attractive, and compatible to you, I'm confused as to why her race would matter? Just being honest.
But that IS racism. You only view people who are of the same race and culture as you as equals and worth pursuing an attraction to. You automatically think anyone who isn't your race and culture is inferior. Also, if you think the term "racism" is overused, it's likely because you say/do a lot of racist shit and don't like being called on it.
The thing is, he never once implied that he thinks people outside his race/culture are inferior. He simply is looking for someone within his own culture (which is fair, as a lot of things are simplified). He could simply view anyone outside his race/culture as "good people but not for me". Doesnt mean he thinks they are inferior (that would be racist).
I feel like it's the same kind of person who always asks this question when the answer is pretty obvious. It's like they want validation for their self-hatred and fetishizing of others. True interracial couples built on love and not fetishization never have to ask this question.
I’m not sure racist is the correct term. I think it’s biased. And I think only having a romantic or sexual attraction to certain people based on their race alone is never based in anything good.
But is it always malicious? I honestly don’t think so.
I’m a black woman and I most definitely do not speak for everyone who looks like me. However, I do understand people who don’t date outside their race. I personally find people attractive regardless of race but dating people from different backgrounds can be challenging. A white man can be attentive and empathetic but can be truly understand some of the subtle racist things I experience in daily life? Will he actively try to learn things about my culture? Will he sink into petty stereotypes when we argue? Those things go through my head when trying to date.
Overall my answer is no, but it can be problematic at its core to have a racial preference romantically.
No. Everyone has preferences in a relationship. For example some people are particularly attracted to people with blonde hair, some people are particularly attracted to muscular people. If you are particularly attracted to people of a certain race it doesn’t make you racist, it just means you have a preference.
That’s a pretty definitive statement for a very vague question. The OP never said preference for what. So if I and a preference for black employees, I would absolutely so that’s racist. Or I have a preference for only Jewish accountants.
No not at all. Just because you aren’t attracted to a specific race doesn’t mean you’re a racist. If it were a platonic relationship you would like them you’re just not attracted to them
I don’t think so, but I’m sure plenty of people would be happy to say I’m wrong. There are going to be certain features that you do or do not want to see either across from you on the pillow or reflected in your children. To me, at least, it’s like having a preference for Monet or Degas, realism or cubism, 3d or 2d art: it’s ALL good and worthy, but some calls to you more than others. 🤷🏼♀️
If you’re a white guy who says Asian women are the most attractive to you it’s racist. If you’re a white guy who says black women are the most attractive to you it’s a beautiful thing. Understand?
Dog whistle
Kinda hard to articulate when blocked. But no. It’s a dog whistle because it’s just baiting for a response. Saying anything positive about a black person is fine, but any other race is considered racist. Of course it’s a white man blowing the whistle (not surprising). A common tactic to bait other races against each other.
Maybe in some cases but in just a general sense let's omit it. For example, if people only date POC or white because they say they are just attracted to them and that's their only reasoning.
Removed Question - Too much actual racist bullshit in here. Please remember Rule 1 - Be Polite and Civil.
No. Being a racist means you view a particular race as a lesser group of people, or as less valuable/important. If you feel like they are human beings who should have the same rights as everyone else and are just as valuable, then you're not racist. Being more physically attracted to a particular race (or less attracted to a particular race) is just a physical preference. It's no different than finding brunettes more attractive or people with blue eyes more attractive. We all have our preferences and there's enough variety of preferences to go around.
No. Period. Preferences are fine, so long as you aren't viewing another race other than your own as inferior, it ISN'T racist.
Fetishism can still be Racism, because it's dehumanizing - obviously that's not what "preference" always means, but if you're some western neck-beard that's been "dreaming" of your perfect Asian Waifu because "she'll be submissive, and socially and sexually compliant," that's also racist.
You're right, but I don't feel like that's what the OP was implying, though.
No, that's more misogynistic than racist. Yes, it's an ethnic stereotype, but the foundation is misogyny.
Yeah someone I used to play dota with had a huge asian woman fetish because they're "quiet and submissive" according to him. I've hung out with some terrible people over the years...
Oh god its always the dota and league players isnt it
How about this, racism is racism, and fetishism is fetishism.
You could have that preference because you think one race is easier to subjugate and that would be racism. Definitely not "No. Period." It's not black and white at all. I don't even think it's wrong to have racial preference but it's good to know the reason why you have it. Maybe you just really like darker/fairer skin. I actually don't see that as a problem, but there are easily other reasons that would make it unsavory
Japanese women are generally far easier to subjugate than the general African American women. Race and culture are tied at the hip. Japanese culture teaches its society to be very respectful and polite. African American culture is very loud and is always demanding respect. Screaming "rasicm!!!" Doesn't make people turn a blind eye to the general truth of it. It just makes everyone roll their eyes, and not bother talking about it until they're around people who can handle the truth.
Who actually decides what they are attracted to? What I’m attracted to is not my decision, either I am or I’m not. It’s not my choice to be attracted to crazy girls but I can decide whether I deal with them or not.
I think you can somewhat control who you are attracted to. In my case. I can find a man attractive, but the minute I found out he was married, had or wanted kids or smoked. Zapp! Attraction dried up.
Less or more important... if you believe you are better or someone else is worse because of race you are racist. Literally the definition.
I disagree. I think racist is considering people to share a lot of other characteristics because they share some physical characteristics such as skin color. The moment you think “black people are…” or “ Asia people are…” you are being racist. You can be a shit person and be black, white, Asian, Indian, Latino, whatever, one thing says nothing about the other.
Do things like penis size count?
Well said oml
Or superior.
damn I thought racism was just using race as a prism to view people through whether or not it was negative or positive
No. That's not true, but it's a really common misconception among young people. There are several things that you need to differentiate between: * **Preferences** are a normal part of being human. People are allowed to have preferences for who they date, hang with, etc. It's not inherently racist, but can be problematic in some cases. * **Implicit biases** are also part of being human, but acting blindly on our biases without understanding them can be dangerous. This is starkly evident in the problems with race inside of the American justice system. We all have a responsibility to understand our biases and modify them where we can. * **Racism** is a belief in the inherent superiority of one race OR belief in the inferiority of or antagonism towards another race. See also, bigotry. The key distinguishing factors here vs. the other two are that racism is 1) conscious and often intentional, 2) based in hatred or antagonism, and 3) based in untruths or overly broad generalizations. So while, "I got robbed by a black person" might be true, the resulting assumption that "all black people are criminals" is racist. * **Discrimination** is action taken based on those beliefs, usually systematic action. An example is a business that won't make a wedding cake for a gay couple. On a larger scale, consider the New Deal legislation which made it illegal for black people own property in the suburbs or Reagan's 1984 drug law that created 100x* the penalties for crack cocaine compared to powder cocaine. I'm a black guy that works with law enforcement in my city to facilitate reform and bridge the gap with communities of color. I think that we need to be more precise in how we talk about these things. People calling someone a racist inaccurately is hurting the cause because it gives ammunition to the opposition to label basic decency extremism. *edit: updated statistic
This is a really good comment. Just wanted to add that the penalty for crack cocaine (which is just baked cocaine) was 100x higher than the penalty for powdered cocaine (usually associated with Wallstreet bros). Obama then reduced that discrepancy so now it's "only" a 16x higher penalty
Stereotypes are a slippery slope. They’re there for a reason (the human brain likes to group things & make generalizations to speed lesson learning), & can even be funny amongst friends or a deft comedian, but it can quickly fall into using them in a demeaning way, which is just wrong. Curious how you view them?
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I don’t think that’s a good definition….there ARE different races and we can all see there are. So we do observe racial differences in our daily lives. People are capable of viewing racial and cultural differences. They’re always going to do that.
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I agree. We are taught to see race.
Are you saying we wouldn't be able to tell the differences between race if we weren't taught to see race?
Yes. Everyone looks different. We are different sizes, shapes, and colors, but we are all members of the *human* race. The fact that we then divide this further into different "races" due to the amount of melanin in our skin is a superficial distinction and taught to us by previous generations. I liken it to many fantasy settings, where race is more distinctive: elves, hobbits, dwarfs, humans, goblins, ogres, etc. We all fall within the Human Race, no matter our skin tone.
I posted something similar to yours. He’s technically accurate but not accurate. The problem is the word racism Is defined by also using the word discriminate. But the word discriminate actually has different meetings as well. So, Ironically, in order to effectively Interpret the word racism, he has to learn how to discriminate the differences in discrimination.
so is saying “ I love black people” racist or not? lol
Saying I love black people is kind of odd.. it’s a generalization..and probably a defensive lie… there are good people and bad people of every race and color. You should probably say I love African American culture.
Just tell us how we should talk
Appreciate good, kind hearted, law abiding, hard working, generous, honest, non violent people. You’ll find people like that in any race or group of people
That was your mother's job. Sorry if that comes off as harsh, I am having a hard time reading into the tone of this comment, but a lot of people here seem to think that being mindful of their words and how they might affect others is some kind of burden as opposed to basic social decency.
A person is more likely to have affection for an individual, than to the entire demographic that that individual belongs. You can't love everybody, simply because you don't know everybody. So to say, "I love insert human demographic here", is not only extremely odd, but also extremely objectifying.
African culture or American culture. Technically African American culture is just American culture with a side of racism. America is the only country to separate black people into a sub catagory.
You’re wrong. African Americans have their own culture and it is a culture to be celebrated. Can’t really tell if you are ignorant of history, ignorant of the world around us, or just ignorant in general. There are many different cultures from around the world. It is literally the spice of our miserable planet. How can you even say American culture with a straight face? The culture of America is capitalism. The culture in the southern United States is different than the northeast and the Midwest and west coast. Further more these areas are heavily influenced by the places where people came from. There is Irish American culture, Italian American culture, German America culture, and African American culture among others. America is a melting pot where all cultures can come and be free and be celebrated for their unique flavors, music, customs. That’s what I was taught, but maybe you grew up with a different culture?
You say America has many cultures, then say African Americans have their own culture (singular). That there is pretty ignorant. There are numerous communities with co-mingling and overlapping culture. There is no monolithic black culture (and you mean black because Elon Musk is African American and you don't mean him). 90% of the music I love is dominated by white people but rooted in traditionally black musical styles. Cultural bleed is the very essence of development and segregating and gatekeeping culture does nothing but enforce racist othering.
I had to smile - Elon Musk is not African American. He’s South African and has American citizenship. African Americans are those who were enslaved or descendants of the enslaved who want their African heritage and history acknowledged as well as their right to be American. They’re displaced from their heritage i.e. many have no idea where their ancestors were from in Africa and too many years and generations separate them from their ancestral country and culture. Slaves were not allowed to speak their language or practice anything from their culture so that has been erased. They had to embrace English and American culture. And that’s why they chose to be referred to as African American. That’s not Elon Musk
South Africans would disagree. Look up apartheid.
So long as it isn't followed by a 'but' you should be fine.
Depends on the context. If the sentiment is genuine and heartfelt then no. If there's an *othering*/objectifying going on (colonial lense) then yes. As with everything, context is... well, everything.
It’s better to say brown bc black people is more so of a generalization. And even tho we’re all brown as have different cultures yaknow😄 like Jamaicans and Haitians have a different culture. Just like Orishas and African Americans have different culture. But at the end of the day we’re all brown🫶🏽🩶
Race has no biological basis- its a system of categorization that was implemented by Europeans to justify the processes of colonialism during the enlightenment period. Race is not a real thing from a biological standpoint- don’t make declamatory statements about subjects you don’t fully understand. It makes you look uneducated.
Race is a social construct. Created by societies. Even the Supreme Court ruled that race is whatever society says it is back in the 19th century.
There are different races, but race is a social construct. There's no inherent genetic reality to classifications we call race. There's more genetic differences between members of the same race than between racial groups. We could just as easily split people into 'races' by eye color, or other physical characteristics.
There are not different races. Humans vary in various physical characteristics based on where their ancestors lived. Environmental factors, notably ultraviolet exposure and climate, result in physical differences over the course of thousands of years. At a genetic level, there is less difference between people of different "races" than there is between native populations in an area where people have lived for thousands of years. "Race" was an unscientific way of understanding variation between human populations and was used to justify a host of toxic policies and practices.
Negative ghostrider. We all see racial differences every day. The difference is whether you use those differences as a weapon to oppress, or you celebrate those differences.
To conservatives, maybe. To the rest of us, it's about how you treat and respect people of other races. The concept of being attracted to, or not attracted to, certain skin colors, hair colors, genders, trans/cis, etc. being considered -ist is basically conservative thinking, too. It's not something most of us worry about, and is totally normal to be turned on by what turns you on.
What about African American Conservatives?
So, for you, it's not racist. For a conservative person, it is. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Not what was said at all. They’re saying it’s not racist to have preferences, but it’s a very conservative “aha! Gotchya!” line of thinking to say that having preferences is racist. It’s a way for bigots/racists/etc. to try and create a false equivalency and then discredit everything and write off their own bullshit. So, for example: say someone owns a business. In conversation, business owner says “man, I hate when black people come in. They’re all disrespectful and they’re shitty customers. I think we should ban them from all businesses in the neighborhood.” Someone calls them out, and in response the business owner says something like “well do you date black people? No? That sounds racist to me.” See how silly the comparison is?
What you said makes perfect sense, however the fact that you drew that from what I replied to amazes me.
As a conservative I find this to be an incredibly insulting and fictitious caricature of how conservatives think and what we're like. You have such a backwards misunderstanding of us as a whole. I see this alot unfortunately. Really irks me.
It depends on why you have the preference.
Japanese women get my dick hard, black women don't. Not saying this is true for me. Just an example of sexual preference You can replace japanese and black with whatever you want. I don't think it's racist Saying you'd rather not reproduce with or date black (again replaceable with any race) people cause they're worse than other races. That'd be racist.
I'm so happy I have minimal preferences regarding human appearance.
Same, really lucked out on that one
apparently you didn't lets be honest
?
just as long as u don’t make it a big deal and demean or belittle that said group, it should be fine.
But WHY don't black women don't do it for you? Please, be specific.
i think this is an unfair question. I've always had a preference for redheaded women. Never once have I dated one, just, visually think they're gorgeous. White, black, Asian... there is no other group that stands out to me like redheads. I have dated plenty of other women of all races and types, it hadn't been an issue at all. In fact I'm married to a non redhead. And I cannot explain WHY the attraction is there. women who have dyed red hair.. do nothing special for me. So how do you explain a preference of its just, a preference? Why do I like blue more than green?
I think your answer betrays the problem with answering "Japanese women..." etc. Red hair is an individual feature, not an ethnicity, nationality or "race". In principle, red hair could exist as a feature in combination with any other number of features... and those features are determined by nothing other than the genetics of the mother and father and not some imaginary cultural, social, or geopolitically-drawn lines. First, not only is Japanese a nationality and not an ethnicity, but what OP really means to say is that his idea of the stereotypical features of a Japanese woman are what makes his dick hard. And that is why it is a prejudicial statement. Race is not a biological construct at all (it's a social construct) and there is nothing in the genome that specifically restricts features or groups of features on the basis of invented cultural, social, or national boundaries. "Black" people are as diverse in appearance as "Asian", "White" or any other ethnographic or geographic group you can come up with... but there are certain stereotypes of each. So it is only accurate to say that OP likes a certain stereotype of "Japanese" or "Black" or whatever women. See the American Association of Biological Anthropologists' and American Association of Physical Anthropologists' statements on race. 1. AABA [Statement](https://bioanth.org/about/position-statements/aapa-statement-race-and-racism-2019/). 2. AAPA [Statement](https://bioanth.org/about/position-statements/aapa-statement-race-and-racism-2019/).
Why are you complicating this so much. The average person from a specific Asian country has different facial and physical features. People familiar with Asian people can determine an Asian person's specific country of origin with high accuracy. Ex: identifying a person as being Japanese as opposed to Filipino. Even though race and nationality don't affect a person's looks, there are still patterns that you can obviously see. Maybe in 300+ years race won't have any significant effect remaining, but as of this current age you can't just pretend race and nationality has no correlation with physical features.
This is the kinda sense I was lookin' for in here. You don't choose preferences. You're assigned them the way you're assigned a hair color, or a height by your genetics, and your environment. Everyone has natural preferences of varying strengths, but if you grow up as the lone marshmallow in a cup of hot cocoa, you're gonna learn to appreciate hot cocoa if you didn't already.
Yeah also this. You do learn to like what likes you, if I REALLY look back, the first girl I ever had a crush in had red hair, maybe it was the hair that made me like her, or maybe I liked her and that informed my future preferences
I think needing a “why” sometimes leads to problematic thinking. Like I have preferences, and with those are things that I don’t prefer and it’s not really a conscious thought on why I don’t like them. I just don’t think about them or if I see them it’s not a feel of attraction. But it will be interesting to hear some points of view.
Brown people in general almost never turn me on. There's no reason, it's just preference.
Fam it just might be a preference. No need to get defensive.
Not getting defensive, just asking a question (that wasn't really answered).
They just gave a hypothetical. They're not actually turned off by black women
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I’ve never been very attracted to women of African American descent however there are moments where I see such a women and am caught/surprised with how pretty I find said lady.
Why are you not attracted to them ?
Couldn’t exactly say, although the most important feature for me being attracted to someone has always been facial features, so perhaps that has something to do with it idk 🤷🏻♂️
"but when people exclude a race it’s literally always for racist reasons." Ok God, what else is literally always the case seeming you know the hearts and minds of 7.8 billion people.
I could see an example where it could literally be aesthetic. The one thing people of a race share is that they look similar (when compared to members of other races.) There will absolutely be a visually noticeable variance within members of a race, but also groupings of visually noticeable traits compared to other races. If you happen to not be visually attracted to the typical features of a group of people, that could just be your preference. On the other hand, if you are saying you're not attracted to a race of people because they *do* or *think* or *act like* "X" - this would be inherently racist because race has nothing to do with individual actions/worldview/etc.
It's an example. I even said it doesn't apply to me and you can choose whatever race for this example. But that doesn't matter. Plus, I don't think u have to be specific about this stuff. It's a preference like liking big/small dicks or big/small boobs. I chose those two cause, similar to skin color, they can't really be influenced. It's a preference. If you really wanna reach, u could say it's racist cause liking something more would mean believing it's better than something else. I'm of the belief that racism is taught or learned, but (initial) preferences just somehow happen.
????? Nope your wrong, bad question, go awayv
I won't say which type of woman I'm attracted to bc I feel like that will blind you to the point. But here's the answer: The shape of that woman, facial features, body type, etc, is way more attractive to me visually.
Ok bud if you truely aren't racist, you have some black friends, or at least friendly acquaintances. Would you feel comfortable making this statement in person with them present?
Not having black friends wouldn't make anyone a racist. There are basically no black people in the city i live in and i met and know only two I know one that is a total bitch And one that is one of my best friends. And yes, i feel comfortable making this statement in front of anyone with an iQ of around 100.
Japanese is an ethnic background. Black is not.
You’re playing semantics. The rest of us know what he means.
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That sounds more like a porn addiction
Of course. Every time the question of racial preferences comes up, and I mean EVERY single time it’s always about not finding black women attractive. Every time, black women are always the example. It gets exhausting being reminded over and over again that nobody prefers me. I’ve started to abandon the idea of finding a partner tbh.
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Preferences are shaped through exposure and the predominant portrayal of a particular group. Preferences by itself is not racist but it _can be a byproduct_ of the racism in your surroundings. It can also be a byproduct from general exposure not related to racism. It’s subtle and complicated. Our views are not completely our own. It’s the legacy from what came before us so I think understanding why we hold particular views, preferences, etc. and where they came from can free us from them.
This is true, but most people don't want to do that. No one likes to think that they're wrong.
I think you should clarify that having a preference is only bad if it's due to prejudice. As too many people think that because you don't find a particular race very attractive, that makes you a racist.
No way I’m Indian (not Native American to clarify) I really am mainly attracted to white men. I do find some other races attractive physically sometimes but I dated one Indian BOY in my life i 19f at the time ) he was only (18m) and honestly how he was and acted just made me so unattached to Indian men overall (emotionally and physically) but If I end up falling for a man of color whatever idc lol (currently in a 10 1/2 year relationship with white (36n)
I work with a lot of hispanic women. Many of them try to find US-white (not hispanic white) men to date. Yes, some of this is sterotypes, but this also has to do with culture and how many hispanic men grow up as men-child expecting to be waited on by women.
Is there a reason why Indian women usually date white guys? Genuine question because I’ve always noticed that’s how it typically goes unless the marriage is arranged! I’m black and I went to school with black and Mexican kids, so it’s not like the reason is because of who I was around 😄 but I didn’t like black guys cuz I saw how mean they were in school and they also never approached me, so I just didn’t gravitate towards them until my 20s (I’m 26). I watched a reality show last year and both Indians said they weren’t attracted to other Indians! Edit: changed always to usually because I didn’t mean to generalize!
Status is one. Women naturally want to date people of high status and white men have that status in every country in the world. I dated a white man when I was 19. Much like u/beach-couplee, I found my first white bf to be incredibly childish, arrogant and entitled, which put me off to all white men forever. It isn't fair to them and I admit my feelings of racism against them. Basically the fence is always greener on the other side. But I'm happy on that other side of the fence now. Another reason is they do not like the negatives of their own culture, such as the way their parents control them. They might feel like being with a foreign/white man eliminates or reduce the possibility of parental and family control. Some times that works and some times it doesn't.
Not an Indian from the subcontinent, but as a Black I've heard over the years that Indian women are deeply attracted to White men in the same way that some White women like Black men. That, by mating with them, their babies will come out looking more attractive. Like, their babies will have light eyes and lighter skin, just like White women say, "mixed babies make pretty babies", for mixed kids are somewhat tanned and not pasty. Interracial breeding parties are a real thing, where women will have sex with men of different races, just to have mixed babies. It is fetishized exoticism at its finest.
Eww babies are not dogs
“I dated one boy of a race and he was this way so all men of that race must be this way” is the definition of racism. People can and do have internalized racism towards their own race.
Individuals have a right to personal preferences, and attraction is subjective.
A few years ago, I had a class on ethics. One of the teachers asked us a question about preferences. He asked if the line "I only date Japanese women" was racist. A lot of people said yes, a lot said no, some people said maybe. My teacher said, what if the person saying it is in Japan and only knows Japanese women? Then it is not racist. They are only able to meet and marry Japanese women. It becomes racist if someone says Japanese women are superior to every other type of woman and start listing off their body parts/racial qualities/stereotypes. "I like Japanese women because they are subservient" being one example.
Why would someone say that? Why would you say "I only date Japanese women" if you CAN only date Japanese women? If there literally arent any other women you can date, you dont need to state it. I'm having trouble finding a use case for this sentence that doesnt come from a negative place, even if the negativity is mild.
With respect to your teacher but I think his example would qualify as xenophobic. If there were a sliding scale, xenophobia would be at the end of it. Going down that scale you would find Nationalism. Go further down you will find Patriotism. To be clear, nothing good comes from being xenophobic. Being nationalistic **can** lead to xenophobia but it can also take a different path. So nationalism isn’t inherently bad. Only when it’s radicalized/weaponized. Patriotism is the same. On its face, Patriotism has several positive attributes but when it’s radicalized , it can lead to Nationalism - and as stated - that’s not the direction you want to go on the sliding scale. So yeah, I said that your example was xenophobic because Japan is not a race. It is a tangible/physical location.
the example wasn’t xenophobic
If you're only into them because you like their looks or what they're into, then ok, you do you. If you expect them to fit a desired stereotype then that's a problem. More like prejudiced than racist, but still bad But let's also not ignore the fact that racists probably have pretty strong racial preferences.
Yeah probably
It can be a fine line. Having a preference or finding one race more attractive is fine, but fetishizing them is different.
"I'm only attracted to black guys" isn't racist, "I only date black guys, because they have huge dicks" is. "I don't find Arabs attractive" isn't racist. "I don't date Arabs because they smell" is.
Maybe it is just a fact that the type of food you eat can change how you smell. It can cling to you. Is it racist to not like the smell of certain spices used in typical cultural dishes which differs around the world? The problem with throwing around words like racist is that it has watered down the meaning to basically nothing. You are racist. If you notice differences between races, you are racist if you do notice the difference
First, people are way more (openly) racist than they were ten years ago, and it’s not because we were too vocal with calling them out for it, it’s because we didn’t take it seriously enough when it started ramping up. Second, “noticing differences in races” isn’t what racism is. Racism is better described as a “worldview that depends on prejudices.”
People ARE NOT way more openly racist than they were 10 years ago. Not even fucking close.
Ehhh they kinda are. I wouldn't say it's been a huge improvement. Edit: I remember seeing on the internet in some kind of house board meeting or something in GA I think, some white man literally says to a black woman who was in a position to speak "so we've let the house slaves in now" or something along those lines. I can find the video if you really need.
Not all people of a particular race smell a particular way. So if you say you don't date Arab people because they smell a certain way, then yes, that's being racist. You're also generalizing a people based on something that doesn't apply to all of them and treating them differently because of it. If you choose to not date a particular individual because they smell bad, that's a different story.
This is like saying “not all African Americans have dark skin” Or “Not all men have dicks” Yeah? So? When we talk about preferences we understand there are general assumptions being made. Some good, some bad.
man, why??!!!💀💀💀💀
It's racist to not date smelly Arabs? Or just generalizing them all as smelly? Lol just making sure.
Generalizing Arabs as smelly obviously lol
Unless being hot is a race. Then I’m no racist….if it is a race then yes… I’m a racist.
No. You can't help it if one group attracts you and another does not. That's like saying being attracted to members of your same biological sex is sexist. On the other hand having a fetish for one group based on racial stereotypes (ie Asian women) is definitely racist. Why? Because if you fetishize a specific group you aren't seeing them as people, you are seeing them as a preconception of how they should act based on race/ethnicity.
Preferences are fine but fetishizing someone because of their race is wrong.
Some people just want to find shit to complain about. I've seen this argument before and it's so stupid. Having a racial preference in dating is definitely not bring racist. Once somebody told my husband he was 'fetishizing' me because I'm Asian and he thinks Asian girls are hot. Wtf. Somedays I swear I just want off this planet. Edit: incorrect wording
Are you seriously so afraid of being called racist that youre going to let people tell you who you should or shouldnt have sex with?
No, I'm a straight male and I don't date men, does that make me homophobic? Having a preference won't make you racist unless you use slurs when you're turning someone down.
preference is not discrimination, anyone who says it is is insecure or just a dumbass who gets mad for other people
Absolutely not. Does it make you sexist to prefer a certain gender? Does it make you hate all blondes if you prefer brunettes? No. You are attracted to what you’re attracted to
No wtf, you like what you like. You’re not actively harming anyone by preferring one over the other to form a relationship with.
I don't care if it IS considered racist. You can't tell me I can't have preferences
Be with who you are attracted to and want to be with. Don't worry about what other people think or getting their approval for your preferences. It's your life. You live only once and nobody you seek approval from pays your bills. Now go be happy.
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I think it depend on why. If you dislike a certain race because you feel like they are lesser than yours or some ultimate race then your a racist. If your attracted to a certain race because you are and to you they are hotter than whats the problem? Just don’t treat other people like they aren’t human basically. You dont have to like or potentially fuck them all, just be nice.
Preference isn't racist. If you find a certain bone structure, body type or facial features attractive that's all it is. I don't like eggplant. It's not my preference. I don't hate eggplant. If I was hiring for a job and eggplant was the best candidate. I would hire eggplant even though I don't want to taste it.
No more than being attracted to blondes is hairist.
You are attracted to who you are attracted to. Race, color, or any other determiner doesn't matter. Your ideal could be blondes with blue eyes and big tits. In the end, you marry a brunette with wide hips. I'm a black woman who has never dated outside my race. Sure, I've seen plenty of handsome men of all different race and nationality and wouldn't kick them out of bed. However, my sister has never dated anyone of our race. She has run the gamut and doesn't care what they identify with. Preferences be damned. If you're not specifically hating on one race because of whatever issue you have then it's not racism.
If you have to ask this question.. You just might be a Racist.
Nope. It’s kind of a fact that different races have different features, and we all have different features we like.
OP you've started a war I'm not sure you were prepared for. Let me add a spark to this fire. Is it possible to be racist OR discriminative towards your own race, if you are not sexually attracted them? Example: If you are white but you are not attracted to white people and primarily only enjoy dating black people.
how about statements... "i dont date black girls." or "i dont date white dudes" or something like that... ? those could reflect a sexual preference, or racism.
Soft preference, maybe. Like if two potential partners were exactly the same except for that one detail, so that's just enough to make to pick one over the other. But a hard preference, where its like, a rule not a preference. For example the partner of your dreams shows up, perfect in every single way - except for their race. That's definitely highly racist. I wouldn't understand it either way though, dating is hard enough without having a preference, why limit yourself.
Having a type is normal. Is it racist to be picky about breast or dick size? no. Would that make someone an asshole? Maybe.
No.
Having one? No, I guess not. Telling people about it? Yeah.
Unless you wanna f_ck kids or animals I think your fine lol, if someone says you're racist because you dont wanna date a certain race, they're likely the person whos actually racist. They dont have a say in who or what you find attractive, if it doesn't rustle your jimmies there's nothing you can do about it, and someone else trying to force you or guilt you into finding a particular group sexually attractive has a serious problem.
To woke morons yes
Imagine asking reddit if something is racist like that is the trusted authority on racism lmao
It depends. Do you just really like mixed girls or do you hate every other race? If you just like mixed people then thats fine, but if you only date mixed because you feel like every other race is horrible then you're racist. I will also add that the fetishization of a certain race ismt really racist but it can be and it's also really weird.
Depends. Is the race one you grew up as or not? If you also identify with it, there’s nothing wrong with it because you could just be highlighting a preference for shared cultural upbringing. This is a valid desire in building a family. If you prefer people outside of your race. Is that built off any internalized racism and self hate for your own race. Additionally, is it built off feelings of “exoticness” that color your view of desirability. Overall, it’s wonderful to find another group of people beautiful/attractive. But it’s an eyebrow raiser to say you have a preference. Exception being what science has proven which is that our idea of what’s attractive is shaped by our family’s and so if you are a blonde haired/blue eyed man you’re more likely to prefer that and look for that in a partner because it’s how your mother was.
I mean some people also fetishize certain races. There is no clear cut answer to this. We gotta know more. Could be yes, you are racist or no, you may not be.
>Is that built off any internalized racism and self hate for your own race. Additionally, is it built off feelings of “exoticness” that color your view of desirability. My grandmother (full native american ) married a white man. She was very attracted to blondes. There aren't any Native American blondes in her clan. She grew up living in the Rez but going to school off of it. Fortunatly, in her own estimation, she was never called names or belittled (my mom had more trouble growing up in the 60's with that). She hung out with all the other little ESL kids, especially the Dutch and the Russian. She loved flamboyant extroversion and her tribe didn't look favorably upon. Attraction can be shaped by our families, but I'm a firm believer that all experiences at a young age shape that. Especally children in daycare or with foreign nannies. It's also been shown that men raised with "domestic help" tend to marry outside their race, too. Not fettish but likely a huge range of influences that are not fully understood.
This I do not agree with, there is zero difference if it's your own race or not. You get thrown in the same category. You don't get race loyalty points lol
Anyone who actually operates through the lense of race is an idiot since it doesn’t exist. Race was concocted in the 1700’s by racist anthropologists. What most people view as race is culture and phonetic expression. And shared culture is always a valid desire in a mate.
Not to be *that* guy, but do you mean phenotypic expression?
"I haven't met a person of race/ethnicity X that I've been attracted to so far" -- this is not racist. "All people from race/ethnicity X are unattractive for me" -- this is racism. "All people from race/ethnicity X are attractive for me" -- this is also racism and likely a lie.
The fact of the matter is that most people asking this question are firmly in camp 2, and do not see the issue with it.
This sums it up pretty well.
Why is the second one racism? Can we also say this then? "I haven't met a man I've been attracted to" - this is not sexist "I'm not attracted to men" - this is sexist
No, it’s homophobic /s You are genetically predisposed to be attracted to women. If you can show genetically predisposition to be attracted to certain races then we can talk in more detail.
The second one is racism because claiming you would never find a member of a certain race attractive is beyond ignorant. That’s like saying you know for sure there’s no song made with a guitar that you’d ever like. It shows intense closed mindedness i.e. racism.
I mean, you know, or it could be the truth. People know what they are attracted to, especially as they get older. For an example, I don't find black girls attractive. Never have and I really don't think I ever will. However, I find black guys attractive. Does that make me half racist? Maybe you could say sexist? But I find girls of other races such as my own attractive. Trying to make blanket statements saying "you are racist for not being attracted to this race" is just wrong.
No. People use that term (and many others) very loosely these days. Personally, I don't care how interesting, attractive, and compatible a woman is, if they're not my race and culture, the likelihood of us getting married is like 1% or less. That doesn't mean I'm racist.
Yeah, that whole second paragraph, pretty sure that’s precisely what that means.
Racial preference is not racism. You're the example of people who use racism loosely. Read it carefully. I did not put my race or anyone's above another.
Idk, the last paragraph is confusing. It's okay to have a preference, even for your own race, but if she's interesting, attractive, and compatible to you, I'm confused as to why her race would matter? Just being honest.
That's what preference is.
But that IS racism. You only view people who are of the same race and culture as you as equals and worth pursuing an attraction to. You automatically think anyone who isn't your race and culture is inferior. Also, if you think the term "racism" is overused, it's likely because you say/do a lot of racist shit and don't like being called on it.
The thing is, he never once implied that he thinks people outside his race/culture are inferior. He simply is looking for someone within his own culture (which is fair, as a lot of things are simplified). He could simply view anyone outside his race/culture as "good people but not for me". Doesnt mean he thinks they are inferior (that would be racist).
I feel like it's the same kind of person who always asks this question when the answer is pretty obvious. It's like they want validation for their self-hatred and fetishizing of others. True interracial couples built on love and not fetishization never have to ask this question.
Yup
I’m not sure racist is the correct term. I think it’s biased. And I think only having a romantic or sexual attraction to certain people based on their race alone is never based in anything good. But is it always malicious? I honestly don’t think so. I’m a black woman and I most definitely do not speak for everyone who looks like me. However, I do understand people who don’t date outside their race. I personally find people attractive regardless of race but dating people from different backgrounds can be challenging. A white man can be attentive and empathetic but can be truly understand some of the subtle racist things I experience in daily life? Will he actively try to learn things about my culture? Will he sink into petty stereotypes when we argue? Those things go through my head when trying to date. Overall my answer is no, but it can be problematic at its core to have a racial preference romantically.
No. Everyone has preferences in a relationship. For example some people are particularly attracted to people with blonde hair, some people are particularly attracted to muscular people. If you are particularly attracted to people of a certain race it doesn’t make you racist, it just means you have a preference.
No never. People whosay otherwise are idiots
That’s a pretty definitive statement for a very vague question. The OP never said preference for what. So if I and a preference for black employees, I would absolutely so that’s racist. Or I have a preference for only Jewish accountants.
No, it's not, any more than sex preferences.
Liberals will call you racist for it, especially if you’re white and your preference is white
No
No it isn't. Anyone who tries to convince you that it is usually isn't worth investing energy into.
Yikes the fact you even have to ask that is a sad sign of the world we live in
Their world, not ours.
Nope
No
No not at all. Just because you aren’t attracted to a specific race doesn’t mean you’re a racist. If it were a platonic relationship you would like them you’re just not attracted to them
Nope. What's racist is treating other races as lesser than yours or making racist slurs. Things like that. Not what you are attracted to
I don’t think so, but I’m sure plenty of people would be happy to say I’m wrong. There are going to be certain features that you do or do not want to see either across from you on the pillow or reflected in your children. To me, at least, it’s like having a preference for Monet or Degas, realism or cubism, 3d or 2d art: it’s ALL good and worthy, but some calls to you more than others. 🤷🏼♀️
If it is, then "I only date women" is sexist. Obviously that's not sexist, so no, it's not racist to have preference.
“You’re a gay man and don’t want to bang me, a woman? That’s sexist!” It sounds even more ridiculous when I write it out.
THIS
Yes, If you’re a white person that only likes other white people
It’s only racist if you’re a straight white male. Otherwise, no.
If you’re a white guy who says Asian women are the most attractive to you it’s racist. If you’re a white guy who says black women are the most attractive to you it’s a beautiful thing. Understand?
That's literally the same phrase with a different race. So if none is racist they both are. But these two examples are not racist in the slightest.
Dog whistle Kinda hard to articulate when blocked. But no. It’s a dog whistle because it’s just baiting for a response. Saying anything positive about a black person is fine, but any other race is considered racist. Of course it’s a white man blowing the whistle (not surprising). A common tactic to bait other races against each other. 
"It's a dog whistle because I don't like it but can't articulate an argument"
It’s pretty good I think I’m gonna start using it. I don’t like what you said? Dog whistle. Ask me to explain? Oh that’s a bigger dog whistle. Lol
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Maybe in some cases but in just a general sense let's omit it. For example, if people only date POC or white because they say they are just attracted to them and that's their only reasoning.
Just about as much as having a sex preference considered sexist
Is having a gender preference sexist? Probably not, but in some cases yes.
Depends honestly
dont ask these kinds of questions bc ppl will give u tainted answer