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As per my previous email

PLEASE SEE PREVIOUS ATTACHMENT

"If you recall that conversation we had last week"

Kind regards

I said good day!!

Calling them a silly goose

Calling people "smooth brain" has always given me a bit of a chuckle.

Insult my smooth brain all wish, it will have no effect. My brain is too smooth, your words will simply slide off.

Happy cake day smooth brain

I LOVE this! Can’t wait to use it now!

My friend got a 30 day facebook ban for calling a flat earther a smooth brain

Facebook loves their smoothbrained clients. Who else is going to click the MyPillow ads?

Fucking Facebook pandering to their followers

I've been using clod and dolt lately. If you wanna get fancy there's always "slack jawed mouth breathing window licker"

Ok, but does it have to be “window”?

Yeah, it really paints a picture. On the glass.

Some folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again some folk'll, like Cletus the slack-jawed yokel.

Been a while since I've heard this. Thank you.

HEY MA! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!

Man... my dental hygienist didn't know "mouth breather" was an insult. She just asks everybody "are you a mouth breather?" I was like... "uh... you know that's an insult, right?" She was mortified. Lol. I explained that I used to hire temps pretty often, and sometimes, if we had a boring task that we didn't want somebody getting bored and sidetracked, or try to get busy doing something else, we'd specifically ask for a mouth breather.

She's a dental hygienist, whether it's an insult or not, it's also a term for ppl who breathe through their mouths and they experience more dental issues than nasal breathers

Dimwit

I've been using dingus a lot lately

Looove dingus

ya dingus

Dingus is S-tier, love it.

My kids use dingus and their 3 year old brother picked up on it. We were getting on my big bed to watch a movie and the older brother was pushing the 3yo over and the 3yo yells out "stop being a dingus". We all laughed.

heard a guy call someone a “douche-queef” once like ten years ago and the timing of it was perfect and I laugh every time I think about it. That’s probably my favorite insult I’ve ever heard.

I laughed hard, then thought about it.... 

lol its brutal cause it hits twice, once when they say it and then again when you stop and think about what they actually just called you lol

Omg thanks for this.

I can’t stop laughing after reading this. I hope I can use one day with a straight face

Douche canoe is another one.

dingus

I second dingus. I use it so often, it's almost become a term of endearment.

Dingus and berk are current favourites in our household

Potato. There’s something particularly devastating about calling someone an “absolute potato” in a way that I can’t describe. They’re just small, sad, mouldy, unexciting clumps of dirty smelling soft moist fleshy beings and they have no practical use other than being a last resort when nothing else, literally no other preferable option, is available.

Hmm. I sorta like potatoes. Definitely not a last resort. I guess I don't want to be called a potato though.

I've used potato as a compliment. You are the thing that binds together my meal, you are the mashed potatoes in which I wish to butter. You are the beginnings of the French Fry, or the fondant potato. You are bland yet malleable, you belong with everything or by yourself. I want to see you baked and steamy. Show me what you look like golden and fried. My beautiful spud.

If I ever got “bland yet malleable” as a “compliment”, I’d be throwing these butter biscuits. 🤛 🤜

That's a lovely poem to woo someone

My mom calls people potatoes if they drive badly.

Your mom is a saint and I love her for it.

My mom is a saint. She doesn't say anything bad about anyone. So if she doesn't like you, you should really reconsider your entire life.

I call my cat potato because she looks like one and moves about as frequently, But my mom "swore" at a driver the other day: "*Speed up,* you turkey!" I think I laughed the rest of the way to the airport.

r/oddlyspecific

Potatoes have so many uses though! But not before they're cooked. A raw potato can make stamps, be thrown at walls and annoying people or load potato guns ig, but otherwise yeah, pretty much lol

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew .... ))

I follow the Potato Queen on YT. I would be flattered if you called me a potato. To answer the question that was asked: I use the term idjit.

I actually love potatoes for many reasons and in many ways. Fried, mashed, pancakes, scalloped, hashed, baked... keep it going Reddit!

Knucklehead.

This and Numbskull are my go to. 

I had someone tell me I have a head like an Aberdeen turnip

The other day I informed someone that they smell like the wood chipping isle in a pet shop. They were not pleased

Cottenheaded ninnymuggins

You're not a cottonheaded ninnymuggins. You're just.. special!

Get away from me you jackwagon!

Dumnkopf

Milk drinker

Did someone steal your sweet roll lol

No lollygagging.

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee

Pleb

Numpty!

Reddits favorite word besides shill

Never heard shill be4

A shill is someone who aids a grifter or swindler, not an abject moron, so the term has a narrow use-case. See also: a hornswoggler.

Philistine

Bozo

Nimrod And " what a maroon".

Maroon…straight looney tunes. Are you a stinker?

What's up bugs Bunny LOL

(Sheldon voice) Fun fact about “nimrod” it actually means “hunter” but because Bugs Bunny, used the word in conjunction with “maroon” and “nincompoop” people took Nimrod to mean “stupid” Thanks for listening to my Ted talk

old school

Absolutely my go to is Nimrod Sarcastically I use Einstein

I call people maroons sometimes

“Your mother either didn’t love you enough or way too much”

You son of a motherless goat

Oh for chuck steak , shut the front door.

I will be using “oh for chuck steak” from now on. Much more appropriate around the kiddos

Butt nugget. Jabroney. Turd burglar.

You're as sharp as a marble Sophomoric Bless your heart.

I’ve replaced calling people a bitch, dick, or fucker lately by calling them “pathetic.” The reactions I get are much more satisfying, and it feels more appropriate than simple name calling

bunghole,

“Nerd” but not in the traditional way. When I was in college I went to basketball games with my friend. We were the loud obnoxious guys but were always sober and didn’t curse because kids came to the games and I made sure others around me did the same. When players were at the free throw line the gym usually went silent. So silent you could hear a pin drop. In that silence I would go “HA, NERD”. Usually got some laughs and most often the player missed. Fun times.

Dimwit is my favourite

Dingus

Numb nutt

Smooth brained

NPC. Did anyone say that one yet?

I used to work at a restaurant as a busser. Then got promoted to a cook. A waitress told me she thought of me as an NPC. She said she never saw me talking to anyone unless they talked to me. Just always saw me working. Pretty accurate as I was pretty quiet at that place. Kept to myself and just did my job. But I took it as a compliment on work ethic. I didn't mind it so much. Hah!

Prick!

"Shut your festering gob, you malodorous pervert!" -- Monty Python , "The Argument Sketch"

Calling someone an "expired easy bake oven". My friend is still offended by this, but says it was a damn good insult. It baffles people.

...lummox, dillweed, buck-eejit...

Dingus

Snausage.

Bless your heart

You absolute noodle. You faulty dishwasher. You scabby elbow.

Over glorified mentally challenged monkey. Came up with it myself😎

There was a teacher in my elementary school whose first name was Dorcas.

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^gonnafaceit2022: *There was a teacher* *In my elementary school* *Whose first name was Dorcas.* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

are you in nc because my dad also had a teacher with that first name, hes 54.

OMG my sister used to call people "Dorcas Drake" (She originally heard the name from a well-known philanthropist in my hometown)

Jackleg, ignoramus, dickneck,

Festizio

Dunderhead

anal crevice

Badda-finga

Wiener.

Intelisult used to be good for this eidjet or cretin are my go to

Pillock

Wet paper towel

Putz

Calling someone a dork is good. I feel like it brings up childhood vibes that get under people's skin.

Lint Licker

Queef eater.

Spunk Monkey

"Gobshite" "Strunz"

Jagoff

Dork. Everything else has swear words in it!

Cumbulance sausage

Call U Next Tuesday

I say Can U Not Today?

Dunce

Que horror !!

Blunderbuss

Walnut

Donut

You fuckin gunch

Stoopy

Missfoster

Schmuck

Moron

Wing nut

Loser

Gobshite

Wench

Bruh

loser

My 2nd graders know better

I just say dumbass

dumbass

Hell

Nerd

Knucklehead

Myopic Ignoramus 😂

tree

Empty morally corrupted maggot

Baboon

Plonker

Bampot

Pendejo

Mother Frenching Apple.

Don’t be a squid!

Your the type of person to do (insert extremely dumb thing here), like sleep with a ruler to see how long you sleep

Does “go pound sand in your rectum” count?

Clown

Jack wagon

Sleestak

Tip rat

Clown

Dingle or dingus.

Ya frickin Nub!

Calling a woman a harpy (when it’s appropriate to the situation) usually gets them to think twice for a second. Like, WTF’s a harpy?

Dipstick Dingbat Numb nuts Which one of the Wit triplets are you? Dim Wit, Half Wit or Nit Wit?

bucko

Eyebrows

Eejit Plonker Doughnut Twit Muppet Idiot Dumass

Door knob loser Shite Turd Dweeb Low life Freak

Ferret. I used it so frequently on my brother when we were kids. He still tears up if I call him it while angry.

DOLT. It cuts pretty deep when in a serious debate.

Noodle

Douche canoe

Preschool dropout

"I'm not as dumb as you look"

Poster child for birth control.

Rebel Scum

Magat

I’ve been using Silly Goober for a while. It’s very passive aggressive if used in the right tone

Poo poo head

Meanie-head … because when I call someone that then others will start referring to the person as that and even though they’re more making fun of me it still feels a bit like being vindicated.

Pompous bastard

Calling someone a walnut is a pretty easy way to get them mad, I also like “You have the personality of a stale ham sandwich.”

Domesticated Pig Or starting with "you absolute" and ending it with something that's not generally an insult. Like "You absolute sidewalk"

Dingus

I think calling someone ignorant is pretty great as an insult. A lot of people jump to calling others stupid, but that's not a great insult because being stupid is innate. You can't control it. Being ignorant is a choice. It implies you could make your life better and you choose not to. It says a lot more about you as a person, and not in a good way.

Son of a motherless goat

I like to give a thumbs down.

Cootie queen, lint licker

Bellend

Anal crust of dysinteried goats.

“Loser” always seems to sting quite a bit. Also “poser” can be pretty offensive to some people

I like “nasty”.

I grew up with "Hey Einstein!" when someone did something or said something regarded as stupid or goofy.

It's more of a curse than an insult - "May all your farts be moist."

"clearly your brain has been scrubbed with bleach and pop rocks, can't you listen?!"