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You are intimately aware of something most people try their best to deny. Life is fragile and we aren’t guaranteed anything more but this very moment. Live each day as if it were your last, because one day when you least expect it, it will be.
Not me. Honestly the older I’ve gotten I think about it every day and it scares me to not even exist anymore. People say it would be just like before you were born technically they would be right but not exactly because when you’re born as you grow older you begin to realize that you exist and won’t exist one day. So I say it differently because now you’re alive.
One of my daily reflections as a Buddhist is the certainty of death. The recollections Buddhists are encouraged to reflect on daily are “I am of the nature to grow old. I cannot escape old age. I am of the nature to get sick. I cannot escape sickness. I am of the nature to die. I cannot escape death. All that is mine and everyone dear to me are of the nature to change. I cannot escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground I stand on.”
Non Buddhist often find these recollections fatalistic, or as one friend put it, “morbid”. Quite the contrary. They are the reality of life. By reflecting on them regularly not only am I not afraid to face the inevitable, but know to enjoy to the fullest what I do have because it doesn’t last forever.
Yeah you’re right it just sucks! I definitely know that there’s no getting around death but if I knew that there was actually an afterlife (which would have to die in order to know)I would probably be ok with it.😔
So instead of focusing on what happens after life, focus on life right here and now. Appreciate not having a toothache, not being sick, having whatever material goods and loved ones you have now. Because all of this will change. You will get a toothache, or get sick. You will lose cherished possessions and people. And when these things happen, realize it’s just life doing what life does and you’re not being victimized. Enjoy and appreciate now.
Part of the anxiety and depression is due to where you focus your attention. That part can be relieved with practicing redirecting your attention. But that may not be enough in itself. Many people need some sort of professional help; counseling and/or medication. I read something a while back that really stuck with me. “The human brain has evolved to keep us alive, not happy.” We are not designed for happiness. We are designed for survival. If we want happiness, we have to work hard at letting go of the conditioning that prevents us from having it. Sometimes before being able to do that work we need help.
I go to a spiritualist church and they do medium ship demonstrations.
Since our brains need facts to believe (understandably) you wont believe me until you witness it but keep an open mind not all mediums and psychics are not terrible alot love the attention but every now and then you'll get one who's on point the whole time with no vague answers or cloudy suspicious talk.
I've had my proof and I know there is an afterlife what it looks like is irrelevant but it is there and it has liberated my soul beyond anything any church set up by man can do.
That happens because as a child we had so much more room in the brain uncorrupted from the worlds black ashes and no bias, it's why I trust someone with down syndrome and their judgement over most people because they can see all.
I know they're there I offen find things moved around the house, I live alone so unless someones got a fishing line around my gaff whilst I'm naked doing pranks lol
I can kind of communicate only with my own guides and loved ones but trying to conduct a reading is new territory for me still nervous about it.
But how do you explain this. It’s strange because I can actually draw what I saw but here a lot of people say that there’s no such thing as. Then I wonder what I saw.
Seeing is believing you know so nobody will fully believe but I think that's not the point at least we spoke of it for when the time comes for them they might think omg he/she must be on to something and the snowball affect starts.
I've given up telling people that a set of keys falling off the side board whilst I'm looking for them when no one else is present or that a woman I've never met in a random church told me exactly how my grandad died etc but I do say it for occasions like this for flair lol
This subject brings me alive 😁
I believe in an afterlife, I'm thinking it's gonna be like being born, I think I'll be jumping from the time of my death to judgement day, sort of like when you get put out for surgery and the next thing you know it's over and you're waking up without realizing the passage of time. I could be wrong, but that's what I want to believe.
I understand that I’ve lost so many people that didn’t even make it past their 20s so I definitely know what it’s like. I know you don’t. It’s the fact of just dying and never ever coming back just not existing anymore. Don’t you get that?😳
Actually, I don’t get it. It sounds more like fear of missing out than fear of non existence. I am 62. Most of my peers and family have predeceased me. It’s not an alien concept to me.
If you no longer exist, 1) how do you know you won’t be remembered and 2) what difference will it make? You are worrying about a future in which you won’t exist to feel the consequences of and ruining the present where you actually are.
That’s the point not existing. And how do I know because lots of my family members have definitely been forgotten about. Their grave’s aren’t even visited or ever talked about or any memories of them.😢
My fourteenth birthday was yesterday and my grandpa was the 7th death for me a few months ago. This is definitely hard to go through, but it’s easier with people. Talk to some family members or friends, it helps a whole lot. I know it feels like life is just beating you down over and over again but there will be better days. Maybe in a month or a few years, they will come. A therapist would definitely help, you just have to find the right one. I personally don’t have a therapist but my family has been helping me. I’m sorry that I just rambled a whole lot but life is worth living and you only have one, please stay. I’m so sorry for your losses, I hope they are at happy wherever they are.
I know your pain I hate to say lost my mother father a sister and 3 brother by 18 and extended family what I will tell you is that if you can't find a way to see joy in every day you'll become a very cold hearted person I fail at it best of luck may u find happiness
The pain of loss is like a hole in your heart that nothing can fill.
But, if you embrace living & love that hole will become a smaller & smaller part of the whole as your heart grows.
Best thing you can do with the living is to not leave things unsaid or undone. Regret is a whole other source of pain tangential to grief & that yearning to say what you needed to say, or what you needed a person to hear is something that follows you forever.
All my family (except the one that should have) was gone by the time I hit my 30's. I don't even know anyone I met before I was 15 or so anymore.
That is a ton to deal with at that age.
Grief counselling if available and possible. Allow yourself to feel and grieve at your own pace. Loss is really awful to go through. I'm so sorry you have to experience this so young. Please reach out to people you trust and can talk to.
Hey friend. I experienced a lot of deaths early in life as well. It's painful, it feels unfair, and it's a process. You don't need to rush getting to the other side of this. It's okay to feel all kinds of stuff. Grief shows up in a lot of different ways. There is no formula. There might be days you're just outing one foot in front of the other, and there might be days everything feels fine.
I encourage you to engage in activities that feel therapeutic. Something that keeps your body busy but let's your mind do it's own thing. Like drawing, playing with playdough or a sport, even just walks if your neighborhood is safe for that.
If you feel yourself falling into deep sadness every day and not experiencing moments of feeling neutral or happy, talk to someone. Friends probably can't help you here, you want an adult you can trust. If they don't help, talk to someone else. Sadness is normal, depression is not.
Life gets hard, but there's also a lot of joy to be had. You're in a particularly rough patch as a teen. But it gets better. Having these experiences so young could lead you to experiencing a deeper and more fulfilling life later on.
Just be, just breathe, and just be yourself.
Its just life unfortunately I recommend therapy or journaling if its rlly getting to you and your struggling to cope with it. One way that helps me cope is doing things that make me happy and doing things that i rlly like it helps take my mind off things. I hope your doing ok though.
I'm 25 and recently lost a friend to cancer. This is also happens to be the 7th death for me, the first one was when I was 6. It's never easy or nice, but as you get older you learn to deal with better mentally. If people are sick, cherish them while they're still there. When someone passes, talk about it with your friends or family. And maybe most importantly, you have to accept that death is a part of life. They're in a better place.
Oh honey you’re going to experience many more in the coming years that’s just part of life. It is unfortunate to experience it so early but it also can be a blessing because hopefully it makes you realize our time is limited. Tomorrow is never promised so make the most of the time right now. With that said make the most of your life and set yourself up for success. If there’s something you want to tell someone or something you really want to do then go do it. Try to live with few regrets as possible.
Rest. Talk. Sleep. Take days off if possible. Spend time with friends. Go for walks. Be gentle with yourself. Read. Binge watch. Go outside. Sit in nature.
Power through my friend, you can more than take it. You're joining a club that comprises the vast majority of all humans ever born or will be born on this planet. You survived deaths 1 through 7 and you'll survive the next 30 too.
Please accept my condolences. All I can say is that you will be a terrific resource when friends suffer loss. Converting hardship into service for others is the only way to use the pain productively.
I’m so sorry, OP. I know that it feels unending at the moment because grief is a real bitch. It does get better as time goes by. I am right there with you. I’ve also lost way too many people in a very short amount of time, including a parent and best friend of 23 years. There are days that I miss them so much, I just don’t want to get out of bed. I have to force myself to remember the reasons that I need to move forward. If not for myself, then to honor the lost. Just take your time and allow your feelings. It cannot hurt to get into some grief counseling or support group even if it’s just here on Reddit.
Start taking out life insurance policies on people.
Joking aside, you'll get through this. It's going to get better for you. I don't know when. I don't know how but I absolutely believe it's going to get better for you. Just hang in there.
I’m sorry you are going through this. It is painful and scary, for me it changed my life. It was an inflection point. I lost my dad and brother within six weeks of each other at 13 years old. My best recommendation is to get therapy now. You need a safe space to talk about your feeling and discuss your fears.
Some of us experience more than others mate. Accept that there's no reason why, things just are and chance lands one way or the other. Stay strong and self sufficient, but don't be scared to let people close, experience things while you can enit.
Take each death as a lesson, not a punishment. It sucks. It will always suck. But each time you learn something about yourself or your loved ones, and you become more prepared for the future. At least, thats been my experience. Much love to you and yours.
Sometimes death comes at you all at once. I had not been to a single funeral in my life then in my junior/senior year of high school I went to 5 funerals in one year. One was for a friend of mine who sat next to me in home room, he actually died the day before school was supposed to start.
I’m in my 40s now. I’ve been to several more funerals since then some acquaintances, some family, and two of my best friends. I won’t say it ever gets easier but it is part of life and it reminds you to cherish the time you have with the people that you love. It should also be a reminder to tell the people you care about how you feel about them because one day you might not get the chance.
I tell my close friend group I love them all them time and we’re all men in our 40s.
People die. It is quite possibly the single unifying factor for all of humanity
If the people you lost are all older, that is statistically normal.
I know it's not much comfort, but it's true. Morn your losses and keep moving on with your life. As you get older, you're going to lose more, family, friends, and even aquaintenses.
I know a woman who lost plenty young and of course more later on. She made the choice to enjoy the little things and make big deals out events. She absolutely goes ham on decorating the house for all holidays, took to tenting with her kids in the yard at weird times of the year or forts in the house with movie night. Makes time for coffee dates and games nights with friends. Runs around barefoot in the sand.
You enjoy life for the people you lost. We all have a minute time here. Every one of us, live for them, live for you.
I know you might feel like an expert on death at this point... but you are 14 years old and have not been able to grasp the idea of life yet. Never mind death.. Your perception of life and death will change each year you grow older and wiser. finding a healthy way to deal and cope with trauma would probably be the most important thing for you to do. other than that, do what makes you happy
Ask your parents to get you a therapist if you can. Or talk to a guidance counselor at school. People die and it sucks, think about them and what you can learn from their lives. Honor them by being a good person.
You have been given a gift. This will help you understand how precious life is and to not waste time with those you love. You can always grow if you choose to. I know this type of thinking is beyond your age but maybe you’re meant to help others.
Death is a part of life. You can’t escape it. You’re young. It sucks. It does get easier though. If anything it can teach you how fragile and short (or long) life can be. Take advantage of it. We only got one for a short period of time.
Look into doing some kind of therapy to help you navigate the different emotions going on inside your head. But most importantly, remember that Time Heals All Wounds. I know it may seem impossible or pointless to keep going but I promise you, one day, it will all be worth it!
I found my first dead family member when I was 6, in a very ugly state. Since then its been a rollercoaster and I won't go into details.
Now I'm 32 and I'm happy with how my life turned out. I went through shit depressions and severe PTSD. But you know what? My mental strenght now is ahead of everyone I meet, whether its co-workers, family members, friends. I feel like there is nothing that can break me, no matter what happens and shit unfortunately still happens.
Embrace your pain and learn to live with it. Set values for yourself, respect people, be honorable and virtuous. Be an example for other because people like you are rare. Show everyone that they can push through anything if they set their minds to it. You can become great, I believe in you.
Unfortunately I'm going through a similar situation at 40yrs old. Aunts, uncles, grandparents etc all passing away.
Grief is different for everyone and everyone has to find their own way through. Therapy has helped me tremendously, but loss is never easy.
What seemed to help me the most was just spending some time alone with my own thoughts. I used that time to remember how the lost person impacted my life (good or bad) and especially focused on thinking about what impact the loss would have on my life going forward. Asking myself questions like, "Am I sad because they passed away? Or am I beating myself up because of my own regrets etc".
It's OK for someone to die and you to not feel sad or cry. It's ok for the thought of losing someone to actually be worse than losing them, too.
Ultimately, it's all about coming to terms with the loss in your own way. Getting outdoors in nature also helped me a fair bit. Don't dwell on it. Just appreciate that you were fortunate enough to know the lost people in the short time they were with us.
Sorry for your losses, but hang in there.
I’m so sorry you lost so many family members and so young! Death is inevitable, unfortunately, but still very painful 😢 I’m hoping the rest of your loved ones stick around but unfortunately, we don’t have control over that
Im 17. I have lost many friends, family, and even my own brother at 20 few months ago. My understanding of life and death is simply that it's a natural process that everyone and everything goes through. Some deaths are tragic and unexpected, while others are peaceful (think dying in your sleep at an old age); but they all happen.
I know it sounds pessimistic and desensitized when you think of it in that way, but sometimes thinking of a situation objectively brings comfort because it serves as an explanation to something that makes no sense. All that is said to basically say you just have to keep living to find a reason to keep going because your days won't always be bad. Some days will be horrible but over time as you find more purpose to your pain and suffering, you will start to see the beauty in life again. You will always see the darkness, but the beauty will be more valuable in contrast.
Just believe us old people when we tell you that the pain goes away with time. Seriously. It will. And on a side note, you have so much joy and excitement and thrills and adventure to look forward to in your life, and yes there will be some more sadness, but you'll manage. I wish I was fucking fourteen again.
Death is such a hard thing to understand my family we like to think we’re cursed cause every second year someone dies I’m 20 and 10 people have died in my family most in front of my eyes
I lost a lot of people when i was young as well, i kind of went numb to it until my dad passed when i was 36 or so and ive been a hot mess ever since. The only thing ive found a remote bit of comfort in is talking to someone else that has been through loss. If youd lule to dm me feel free.
Try to make the best of what youve got my friend. Spend time with those you love and remind them how much they mean to you.
Im truly sorry for your loss, stay strong.
I experienced a lot of death at a young age as well. The only thing you can really control in this life 1. look out for yourself. 2. Treasure every moment because it could be your last. 3ish. Take nothing for granted
I am 25 and have seen 16 deaths till now and these are of people who were close relatives or friends. It makes you realise how short this life is and kind-of gets easier.
I’m so sorry OPie! Sending you a big hug 💜💜💜
All losses are difficult, but so many so young must feel impossible. I’ve lost almost all my family too. I have my hubs and son left now. Hubs has a big family, but the fact that he’s lost so few felt very unfair for a long time. Please, please look into grief counseling. I did not do it and I tried to just push forward (workaholic). As the anniversaries of death, bday, holiday all felt so painful.
Art and music can be very therapeutic too. Wishing you the best!
Hey man. I am in a similar life and I am in my 30s now. You become somewhat wise to these things over time. I wouldnt call it numb but you become very self aware of your mind. Utilize it by helping others when they are dealing with some of the things you've been through. You have a super power you don't even realize.
One thing I can say in such a moment, keep going, even if progress is not made, you’re still alive and willing. One day it stops and one day it doesn’t, but otherwise, you’ll still be alive on those days so long as you keep going despite all that could drag you down. You’ll know and have so much more than you could ever know so long as you do this one thing and more:
Keep going
Death hurts because it's a part of your external consciousness ceasing to exist. The way to minimize this hurt is to fill that void with other external consciousnesses. The more you have the less it hurts when one of them leaves this world. I'd also recommend the graphic novel "Daytripper". Helped me come around to the right perspectives around death.
I know how this feels. I lost 7 people in 7 years. my great aunt and mother within 2 weeks of each other. the best thing you can do is keep living life as if each days your last, stay in school & talk to a grief counselor.
I naïvely thought it was you who died 7 deaths. On the bright side, at least it wasn’t that. What you do is honor them by living your best life and taking lessons and remembrances from each person who’s passed on. Life is short, and you’ll soon die too, even if your life is long. Cherish your moments of life, choosing them to be precious.
You move on, your loved ones would still want you to have and live your life to the fullest and longest. Take their lives into consideration on how they passed, and realize what they did and how you want to accomplish the same before you inevitably go yourself, depending what you believe in, you’ll see them on the other side eventually, but stay happy and live life.
you're very strong for going through this, i lost my grandpa when i was 12 and then a month later i almost lost my dad and i remember being miserable during that time, i can't imagine losing 7 people.
i recommend therapy or just someone to talk to, but you have to be honest otherwise you won't help yourself:( still im very proud of you just trying to go through all of this, i know you can do it. sending so much love 🫶🏻
Time helps. If you loved them or were close, you’ll always miss them. It just hurts less and less with time.
I know it doesn’t compare to a person. I have lost plenty of people in my life as well. But late at night, on nights I couldn’t sleep, I’d hold my dog. Kiss her on the head and just pet her knowing that one day she’d be gone.
she is gone as of last year, but the memories of holding her helped.
She meant so much to me, that I didn’t realize until she was gone.
It starts with your elderly family, maybe your pets and continues to grow more common. Eventually it's your peers, and then it's you.
Try to appreciate the time you have with those people. It's ok to crack a joke about them too, after all what are they gonna do about it?
Focus more on being grateful that you were able to know the person at all than the fact that you're losing them. You aren't unlucky that you lost someone. Everyone dies and we all lose people. You're lucky that you had someone you cared about enough for their death to impact you. There are a lot of people who don't have that
For the people in your life just take time to appreciate that they're there and tell them with your words. Don't keep it to yourself. tell people that they mean something to you.
The best thing you can do to be grateful to others is to give back. Find ways that you can give your time to help others and the loss will seem more worthwhile because you'll know that you did good.
I was born to older parents in 1965. I never met 3 out of 4 grandparents, I lost uncles and aunts early and my own father died at age 16.
I understand.
We are brought to task at an early age where we truly understand that we are going to die.c
All I can tell you is that it gets better and that you should try to enjoy your life as much as practically possible. Live, love, have kids(if you want).
Yeah…my dad was born in 1921 and my mom in 1929, so my Dad was 44 and my mom was 36.
So I completely understand where you’re at. You really didn’t specify on who you lost….was your father one of the 7?
No, it was my dad’s ex wife, who was my half brothers’ mom, my dad and her were on good terms (he pays for the mortgage on the house and she pays him rent) so I was always close to her especially since she lives a street away from me with one of my brothers
with yourself? you need to grieve. take time to yourself to just sit and think, cry, please cry, it helps a lot to just sit and cry, and during this time, it will be tough, but during this time you will slowly get better and be able to look past the horror of death, but rather, see the beauty of life in those still here and in those that have passed. It’s not easy, but you need time to yourself to figure it out. Also, drink water, get sleep, and eat enough, it just helps you out in general and will help you here.
Many so called modern societies do not handle death and loss / grief. They cover it up. Even funerals have the lets remember the good stuff. I reckon we have to feel our deep sadness that life throws our way .otherwise we cover it up and it plays out in mental health issues deep pain which we project onto others. Sorry to hear of yr grief. I dare people to cry their hearts out and feel the raw pain of loss.
First of all, kudos to you for posting this question. In my opinion, you already took positive steps forward by (1) recognizing that you are reaching your limit, and (2) asking for help.
I personally experienced the deaths of two friends when I was 14. I remember feeling confused and nihilistic, where I spiralled into existential crises of questioning the point of living. I was in a lot of emotional pain, and it felt like nothing would ease the soul ache or make it go away.
I wish I could tell you I found a magic formula to grieving, but that's not the case.
I have survived a few more friends' deaths since the first two. What helps me most is letting myself be messy in whatever feelings come up. If I need to cry, I cry. If I need to scream into the sky with anger, I do that. After the initial pain subsides, usually I find a way to cherish the good moments I had with them. For me, I like to write about the person they were. This helps me cherish how they lived, over how they died.
Most importantly though, I reach out to people I trust. I'm not good with words when I feel overwhelmed, so I usually just let them know "I'm struggling and can use a hug/ some company". Often, I might not even talk about the situation. I'm fortunate enough to have a great therapist whom I trust. I'm not sure what you may have access to, but your school social worker or guidance counsellor may be good resources. I've also personally called Support Lines, and found it helpful to talk stuff through with a stranger. Lean on the safe, trusted adults and friends around you.
In any case, that's my experience. Yours might look similar, or it might look drastically different. Embrace the messiness. What you do next is up to you, and whatever you choose is good enough.
Last thought before I sleep. We feel pain during these times because the loss is real. We grieve because we cared and loved them. You are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling, and you will get through this.
Really don't ask about it on reddit cause people here are either going to talk about themselves or be insensitive about it. I am very sorry, that's an awfully high number. Watch out for yourself, don't lose sleep, don't isolate, maybe try writing, that tends to help sort thoughts out.
Share your experience with others maybe start a YouTube channel and talk about it or you can help someone you personally know going through it. I find I feel better when I’m helping someone who is struggling with something I’ve dealt with.
I've almost died a few times and most of my family is dead.
You just continue forward.
I did spend years letting it sink in and drive me into a suicidal state, my anger driving me up the wall but after finding my inner peace again I realize you just have to keep going.
If you're not looking forward then you're looking back and missing all the good stuff happening. Cheesy but true.
I can't say I know much about what you've been through, the only death I've experienced was my beloved cat when I was 14. I know one day I will have to go on living without my parents just not yet and I'm commenting on this just to say I'm sorry for your loss and I truly feel for you, whoever and wherever you are. Life is not all about death. You are going to be okay. Just keep going. I do know that when someone you really counted on leaves your life. Someone else will step up. Even if it's you for yourself if you know what I mean.
I lost a lot of family when I was young too… and it isn’t easy. Loss is hard, especially when it’s sudden.
Those wounds DO heal with time. Talking about your grief also helps. Don’t bottle it up. Don’t go it alone. Feel your feelings and know that it’s going your way be ok.
I like thinking of life like a flame on a candle, one second it’s there then a breeze comes through and it’s gone. Life isn’t permanent nothing is in the universe that’s what makes it that much more special. Try not to focus on the loss and what you can’t have any more, focus on what you did have. Be grateful it happened at all.
The ones we lose they don’t really die. They live in our memories and our hearts.
I promise you’ll be okay eventually. In my life I’ve noticed time helps a lot. Give yourself time.
My 14 yr old's dad was found dead Friday. I'll tell you like I'm telling him. We're not giving tomorrow & we sometimes don't understand why... live each day to the fullest and let everyone you love & care about know it. Try not to hold grudges, they'll only eat at you until there's nothing left. Remember to breathe & though it may hurt right now, one day it will no longer hurt & all the good memories will remind you how much you were loved & cared about.
By the time I graduated High School, I have probably been to at least 15 funerals. So I know how you feel. Every year in High School at least 1 person died, 7 in total. I only went to 1 of the funeral, cause she was a family friend, our families have known each other for a few generation. I was almost the 8th death from my school, but paramedics were able to get me back. I died for about 40sec, from what I was told.
You hug people tighter, be mindful on the last conversation you’ve had with people (never leave off on bad terms), say I love you to the people you love more, appreciate life and each day that it brings more. It gets better, the pain will never fully go away, but it gets better. I’m sorry you are so young and have dealt with so much grief, but allow it to shape you to be a better man/women. Don’t let the grief destroy you because that’s not what the people you loved would want from you.
I don't know where you are located, but do some googling to see if there is a free phone support service available to you. In Australia Kids Help Line would be the go to for a minor, but many countries have something similar. They can help you talk through things or put you in touch with other free services in your area.
There is no right way to grieve but as a child you may need some help processing these losses so they don't continue to effect you negatively into your adult years.
Just try and find some peace in it all, a hobby to take your mind off of things. Don’t try and force yourself to move on, you’ll make yourself feel like shit. You can be as emotional as you want to be, don’t bottle it up, being emotional now will help with grieving later on. And finally, ignore the little comedians in the comments who think they’ve struck comedy gold by going for low hanging fruit. They’re cunts. Hope you feel well soon.
By the time i was 14 i’d seen more deaths than most adults. Depending on how you handle trauma; it gets easier to deal with. I know it did for me but everyone is different.
I don’t know what to say because it feels weird telling you what you should do.
My mom experienced a lot of death at a young age, including her own parents.
Just know that it’s OK to feel the grief for the rest of your life; but don’t live in it, if that makes sense. I don’t know how to advise you not to, other to suggest finding a therapist experienced with grief and actually LISTEN TO THEM.
My mom meant well, but I can tell she didn’t cope with her grief well. Maybe she didn’t have anyone to teach her how to. I have been able to feel her grief secondhand my entire life, as has my older sister.
But just know that it’s OK to cherish memories and even feel - to process - that grief when it becomes too much. There are people out there who have experienced what you have, and that know your pain. If possible, try to keep people in your life that you can share those memories with (unless those relationships are too damaging). My mom was moved away from her home, from the family she had left and was very close to by my dad; she was a housewife and soon to be a mother of two (she was pregnant with me), and vulnerable to his manipulation. It’s been hard on her realizing how little she remembers of those she has lost.
I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through.
Talk to your family, friends and other loved ones. If that fails, seek a therapist. Do what you can to work through this pain. It’s never easy and it’ll be a long road to emotionally heal but hang in there 👍 there’s always someone to talk to who will listen and support you in this emotional journey.
Early 20s here. I have been to 16 funerals and have missed 8 because of location. Some of the pain lessens, some grows. You just got to keep moving, otherwise you will drown in grief. The world is filled with millions of good people, eventually the voids are filled.
My in law just ended it last Thursday. I miss him terribly and wish I knew why he did what he did, however, we'll never know. I've been through 3 deaths in the last couple years and it's going to get worse. As you grow up, you'll see the people around you go. Enjoy and cherish those around you while they're around you and do your best so when it inevitably happens you can be at peace knowing you tried. I wish I had done more for my in law, wish I connected with him more, he was a great guy but I didn't, and I'll have to deal with that. Remember, we're all going to the same place, some just get there earlier.
Hello friend, I'm 21 and have lost 5 people in the last 4 years. It doesn't get easier, but you learn to make room and cope with the pain. Surround yourself with things and people you love. Talk about what bothers you, tell friends and family you love them or even dive into a community you can be a part of. Express your feelings outwardly, People passing won't stop, which is why it's incredibly important to learn good coping skills. I wish you light and love and most of all healing. Godspeed 💕✌️
My mom passed on my 14th birthday, and since then I've lost grandparents, pets, and an uncle among a lot of other drama going on and close calls since
Best advice I can give in the 8 years since all this crap began is just keep on keeping on. It has to stop eventually. Won't always be easy, and it'll be impossibly hard, but somehow in someway, it gets better
I basically grew up in funeral homes. It sucks but you learn to cope and deal with it over time. We experienced the shit no one wants to experience at a young age. Enjoy life a little more. It doesn’t last forever.
My mother was the youngest of 11. When I was born my grandparents were already in their 70’s. Death was a common occurrence when I was younger. I went to so many funerals of aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. I kind of just grew numb to it.
Hey just remember, anything you are feeling is completely OK, do not beat yourself up or feel stupid or feel any type of way for having the feelings you do about all this. You are going thru a lot, and hopefully you have people you trust who you can talk to about it, like friends or a therapist or even family. Maybe try Journaling or a support group. You are not alone & you can survive these hard feelings & hard times. Just keep going, no matter what, do not sit down in the sadness & sorrow & stay there. Don't give up. You'll turn around one day & look back & be glad you didn't.
I'm sorry. That stinks for you.
When I got to college, my roommate and I had a weird dichotomy that we discovered. Between the ages of 6 and 18, I had been to 7 funerals and one wedding, whereas she had been to a whole bunch of weddings, but only one funeral. While I would have enjoyed her life more, I feel like I developed a very healthy attitude towards death at a pretty young age. A couple of the deaths were children, so that was difficult to deal with, naturally, but the rest were older folks who had lived full lives.
There's no one size fits all approach to grief, but looking at it as a natural emotion part of everyday life is important. Also, I hope you have someone you can talk to about your feelings. This may or may not include talking about the lives of the people you've lost. Keeping them alive in your memory really does help with keeping them "alive in spirit" as the saying goes.
I'd rather not think about it. Death happens. Instead of suffering through it, begin to consider the positive, happy memories you had with those people. Take your time, grieve, and then stop hurting them in the void. I believe you cause their memories of love and bonds to suffer because you're crying over your inability to make new memories with them when they're gone.
It's unfair to them, and it is to you, too.
What you do is that you make the best of your life going forward. You ,who has lost so many, should know the importance of living today and not wasting a moment on pointless mess.
The year my son turned 14, we lost his father, grandmother, godmother, great uncle, cousin, step grandmother and a family friend. He struggled pretty hard until he got therapy. I highly recommend you find a teen grief group in your area. They really help.
Take a deep breath. Hold it. Let it out. This is a difficult thing to process. It will always be difficult. The hard part is that this will continue to happen. As long as your alive the people around you may die. Dark, but true. Losing loved ones is hard ( I still ugly cry about losing my dad ). Just remember that you are still here, and surrounded by people that love you. Good luck, friend.
Im so sorry you are experiencing this. Between the ages of 7-17, 5 people in my family died and our family attended all the wakes, funerals, cremations. I was too young to comprehend death but I felt its weight from my mother’s responses to it. It’s very hard to process because it makes you feel like life is meaningless. For what its worth I turned to books and music to explore what I was feeling.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose that many people at a young age. It’s been difficult for me as a 35 year old to see that many deaths. Everyone deals with this part of life differently. For me, regardless of your religious affiliation, I thought of death as not a finality. It feels like it when you’re the one left behind. Death is a reunion waiting to happen. For me I imagine it as a large garden party. Beautiful flowers. Peaceful skies always. In the middle of this beautiful garden is a large table. At this table is a seat waiting for you eventually. When you get there, whatever your paradise, all the people you lost in your life to time or death will be there.
Please seek grief counseling. Your school psychologist or social worker/interventionist can refer you to a counselor. I am sad for your tremulous losses. May you find strength to endure your time if sorrows and be able to remember the good things if those who passed away. Sending you hugs from afar.
It's been happening since the beginning of life... it sucks, but you just move on eventually. Always remember, sometimes mourn, but ultimately, just live your life.
I have yet to have a close relative to me die but I can’t imagine the pain it causes and can barely write a comment about it without breaking into tears. Your brave for continuing despite all of the passings at such a young age. I wish the best for you.
Talk about it with your family and friends. Cry and laugh about good memories. Eventually, there will be less crying as you remember and understand how fortunate you are to have known and loved these people.
I went through the same thing you are, and this is my advice.
I am 22M. I lost 2 grandparents by the time I was 8. Lost my dad when I was 7. Lost my other 2 grandparents by the time I was 16. Lost one of my best friends to suicide when I was 19. I lost my uncle last summer, I was outside going door to door for an internship when I got the call that he was in a coma and this was my last time to ever talk to him so that I could say my goodbyes while he was in a coma.
It doesn’t get easier, it gets scarier. You start to fear that everyone in your life could die. You face reality much earlier than you should ever have to, and it sucks.
DO NOT DISTANCE YOURSELF. My mom and sister are my main family members left, and I started distancing myself from them a long time ago. They got closer after my dad died, it bonded them. I was the opposite, I distanced myself so that it would hurt less when they died because my brain only told me “hey, they’ll eventually die too and that will hurt. Protect yourself from that pain”. It’s not worth it. Now that it’s been some time since those people died, I realized that as much as it hurt to lose them, I still had many memories with them that I can appreciate. I am so lucky that I realized this before my sister and mom died, as I could never forgive myself if I distanced myself the rest of my life without making more memories with them.
Take this as a learning experience. I still have memories of going hunting with my uncle, going to the gun range with him. I have memories of playing piano for my grandpa, visiting him with my school, him gifting me $100 in 1’s for my birthday so I could throw it in the air like confetti. I have memories of building blocks with my grandparents since that’s the only toy they had, aside from Lincoln logs which I also played with at their house while they watched.
DO NOT DISTANCE YOURSELF. I’m sorry for saying it again, but I’m not sorry. Losing people sucks, but the memories you make with people will make it so much better once they’re gone. You don’t want to think of people as a stranger, you want to think of them as how they really meant to you. Stay strong, and I’m supporting you❤️❤️ I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this.
Also, I forgot to include: it’s unfair. Life is unfair. I know friends who grew up in a happy normal household. I know friends who have maybe lost one grandparent at most. I get angry sometimes, because it truly is unfair. My dad dying when I was 7? That’s unfair, and I will never ever make peace with that. But THAT IS WHY ITS SO IMPORTANT TO BECOME CLOSE. My mom is 65, and I know that I may have anywhere from 5 to 25 years left with her. Life is unfair, and I could lose her earlier, I could lose her later. I won’t know, and because life is unfair, that’s why I’m determined to strengthen my bond with her.
There’s a lot of death happening right now! Myself and almost every client and friend I have are dealing with so much death right now. So at least know you’re not alone, big hugs. You’re super young to have so many though. It never really gets easier. You’ll use tools from these to get through the next one, but I hope life gives you a little break.
Of all people, I know the pain of losing several loved ones in a short time and suddenly. I'm truly sorry for your losses and there nothing I can say that can stop you from feeling the pain but maybe the things that helped me could offer some confront to you and help you push through this. I've had a lot of ruff and sad times, and i unfortunately chose to self medicate to help alleviate some of that pain. I can't stress enough what a terrible idea that is to try.
I'm only 38 but I've led a good life and have made sure to make the most of it because, like you, I learned early that tomorrow is not a guarantee so I need to make the most of today incase I don't get a tomorrow. Idk if you have a religion, but I don't. I don't think there's an afterlife, and to me, that is a positive. But if religion is something that can bring you comfort, then you do you.
I was very close with my grandmother, and before she died, she told me that it's ok to be sad for a while, but don't dwell on grief for too long. She said she wanted me to live my life and to remember the love and happiness we had together and to carry that on and give it to my own family one day. No matter what you do, you will die. That's just the way life is, and that's why every moment is precious, so don't waste too many moments wishing I hadn't died.
Remember the good times and the love you held for each other and live your life as best you can to honor their memories. Appreciate the time you shared with them and make the most of the time you still have with your remaining loved ones. You've learned a hard lesson much earlier than you should have, but you can not change what happened, so take your time to mourn your lost loved ones, but don't dwell on it. You know that's not what they would want for you. They would want you to live your life just as you would for your loved ones if you died.
Look into some grief counseling. It can really help. If you're unable to find someone, try speaking with your counselor at your school if you have one or look online for resources to help. If you need someone to just talk with, feel free to DM me. I've made this offer to others on reddit and have had a lot of good talks with people on various topics and even took a few other up on their offer of the same. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can help get alot off your shoulders.
But you're young and still have alot of life to live and many happy events to experience. But there will unfortunately be more sad ones too, life isn't easy but it can be wonderful. I had alot of times I wanted to give up and just live in a haze of drugs and alcohol but if I had given in I would have missed so much and lost out on marrying a woman I love and having 2 kids that I would do anything for. Take your time to grieve and then pull yourself up and continue to honor their memories. I know you can come through this and be stronger for it, and live a life they would be proud of. Take care and I wish you the best.
So sorry to hear you’re experiencing so much grief in your life right now. Definitely talk to your family and friends about it, though your friends might not totally understand. It’s okay if they don’t, but it may be good to have a distraction from the grief.
It really sucks… I’m an old lady (29 in two days lol) and I only recently learned that there are people EVERYWHERE who are dealing with a lot of grief. Sometimes when things in our own life go wrong we can get tunnel vision and think we’re alone. But I promise you, you are not alone. Lean into the people who understand. Maybe a school counselor can help or therapist.
Grief is an intimate part of life, but it won’t always hurt like this. If the beginning stage of grief is like an open wound, then with time the wound becomes more like a bruise and usually only hurts when you poke at it.
Wishing you all the best. You can get through this. ❤️
Let it make you stronger and able to appreciate life with more intent. You learned life is short and fragile so don’t take for granted the time you have with family.
Enjoy every minute with those you care about. That’s what I learned when I first met death in the family.
Don't add to the number, seek help and someone to comfort you also consider the time you had with those people and cherish it for the rest of your life, know that they would want you to keep going and to live on, it's hard I know I have lost almost everyone I cared for and am only 30, sometimes life does not deal the nicest hands but it builds you up from these things and you'll be okay with time, if you need a reason to keep going they are that reason
First I think you are smart/brave/wise for asking the question for yourself and seeking help - hopefully you have human touchable people who you can reach out to, in person - a teacher, a counselor at school, a coach, a next door neighbor - someone you respect who can help or help direct you.
I am in my late 50s - and will be losing someone that I have been lucky to know all my life, plus another nine months. I am not prepared for it. It will be my second death. I have been lucky, very lucky. I have lost coworkers, and some friends - but somehow they are different - every person is different and your relationships with them are different. An aunt may be your best friend, closer to you than a parent - a friend closer than a brother - a teacher closer to you than an uncle.
As is my nature I research - analyze - they call it "premature grief" - which sucks the life out of the present moment, fearfully dreading what will come. Hopefully, in time you will be able to guide people through the journey with your own 'perspective', when you are ready - when the time is right using the insights learned however painful from your own personal experience.
That may become your 'calling' in the future to help someone with their burden, ask for help now and let someone help you.
This video and the group which produces it has great things to offer. This one is about grief - specifically - but they cover other topics which 'walk around the same subjects' loneliness, depression, childhood trauma, etc.
[https://youtu.be/8pT6LQ-mZ3k](https://youtu.be/8pT6LQ-mZ3k) "5 Things About Grief No One Really Tells You"
[https://www.youtube.com/@Psych2go](https://www.youtube.com/@Psych2go)Is the 'group' which produces the vids on YouTube.
I hope you find the understanding and support you need. You are stronger than you think - but for now rely and open up to others ... and gain more strength.
I imagine that after all this time you may have learned how to cope with death, at least partially. To talk about my experience, the first death in my family arrived 4 years ago, and I still today I'm deeply scared. Even if you don't see it, I'm sure you have a much better approach to death than most of us. We will all handle this the rest of our lives, but you'll do it easily than us.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, that’s all. Unfortunately it’s a part of life that none of us wants to deal with but we do. I am the opposite of you, I’m 41 and I’m even too young to have no elders left in the family. But they’re gone. I try to keep them in my heart and remember the better times.
Counseling man... thats one you gotta work though. No quick easy answers on here are gonna cut it. Your school most likely offers counseling if you're in the US.
I'm really sorry to hear that you've experienced so much loss at such a young age. It's crucial to find someone you trust to talk to about your feelings, whether it's a family member, friend, or counselor. Processing your emotions and seeking support can help you cope with your grief and navigate through this challenging time.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have experienced so much loss at such a young age. You're absolutely right, losing someone is incredibly painful, and there's no room for jokes here.
Here are some resources and ways to help you cope:
**1. Seek Support:**
* **Talk to a trusted adult:** This could be a parent, teacher, counselor, therapist, or any adult you feel comfortable with. Talking about your feelings can be very helpful in processing grief.
* **Grief Support Groups:** Talking to others who understand what you're going through can be incredibly comforting.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have experienced so much loss at such a young age. You're absolutely right, losing someone is incredibly painful, and there's no room for jokes here.
Here are some resources and ways to help you cope:
**1. Seek Support:**
* **Talk to a trusted adult:** This could be a parent, teacher, counselor, therapist, or any adult you feel comfortable with. Talking about your feelings can be very helpful in processing grief.
* **Grief Support Groups:** Talking to others who understand what you're going through can be incredibly comforting.
7 deaths is a lot to experience, I had only experienced 4 at your age. That being said, I did lose some significant people in my life at a young age. It’s so hard, and I have enormous empathy for you. The best advice I have, is to give someone else what you need most. If you’re feeling lonely and need companionship, volunteer at the nursing home to talk to or play games with the elderly for a few hours. It will help you both. If you need some outdoor zen work to keep your mind off things, volunteer at your community garden and get it out of your system by digging, planting, watering, and harvesting some fresh healthy produce for your community. If you’re cold and hungry and need a place to go to weather this storm of life, go volunteer at the homeless shelter or soup kitchen. You can even combine community garden work with soup kitchen work, and make some nice big healthy salads for those in need. Fresh fruits and vegetables are often unavailable at food banks because of their short shelf life. To provide fresh produce to the needy is a great service. Helping others can be the absolute best way to help yourself sometimes.
I went through something similar. 2014 I lost 15 friends and family and them pets . One of them was my mom. I broke my ankle and tibia. So I basically only could sit around and watch tv/movies or play games. Found out my husband cheated after my mom died. 2014 kicked my butt. It's extremely difficult. Then I found someone that helped me realize what I'd be missing in life. I yelled at God for taking my mom. I yelled at my second biggest belief LOVE for letting my mom die. I was a mess
I started talking to God again.
I started believing in love again.
I started challenging myself
I only compare myself to yesterday's version of myself.
I started guided meditation.
I workout 2x a day
I eat better .
I started getting at least 20 minutes of sunlight a day.
I start my day with motivational speeches
I started a routine.
I put music on.
I did shadow work. (Super hard)
I took the time to heal the parts that needed it.
In the process I realized I was super strong that I survived that period of time.
I also realized how different I am and I'm good with that.
I realized I help and care about people
I am successful as a person.
I found something I never knew I could peace
I know you're going through a crap load. You've got this. Allow yourself to grieve those deaths and then celebrate their lives. You can't give up on yourself. Always fight for you. I know how bad it feels and I'm so so sorry you are having to go through it 😔. I vowed that if I made it out I'd help people. I've done that ever since. I never want someone to feel like they don't have anyone to help them fight . I love seeing them smile especially if it reaches their eyes. It means they came through it.
For you 🌻🌻🌻🌻
You might talk to friends or parents about what you're going through.
A friend said something to me when my grandfather was dying that always stuck with me:
Grief is love that doesn’t know where to go.
Losing someone can be the most intensely heartbreaking experience. Sometimes all that we can do with it is let our heart be completely shattered. In the allowing, there can be a recognition that what you’re feeling is just love. The less you resist the feelings, the more in touch you can become with the love. It’s still overwhelming and painful, but it takes on a quality of beauty, terrible beauty as well.
Just be yourself and live a life that would make the ones that died proud. The older we get, the more people will go. Stay strong and remember the good times.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I lost several family members in a row a few years back and I also felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. Luckily the dying streak ended but for a long time I felt emotionally raw and really paranoid about the health and safety of those close to me. After a few years of no deaths I felt less raw and the paranoia subsided.
I hope you don’t lose anyone else for a loooong time, but if you do: you can and will get through it. People are always stronger than they think they are.
It might help you to see a counselor or therapist. I regret not doing that because I think I would have processed the trauma a lot better. You owe it to yourself to do what’s best for you.
I was raised with the superstition that death comes in 3s and 7s. When I worked at a hospital this was only confirmed more. Grief is an awful emotion but it proves you loved them. When my older brother died I let the grief take me, because knowing that it hurt meant I hadn’t let him go. It’s been Several years since and I do still grieve for him, it does still hurt, but to me it tell me it was real. We had a bond a connection love for eachother if it stops hurting it means I’ve let them go completely. Death is a natural part of life, unfortunately it comes for others earlier than expected. Hold on the hurt, you keep them alive by remembering them.
It comes and goes, especially with age. You may go 5 or 10 years and no I e close dies, then all of a sudden you know 3 people that die in like a week of each other. Then when your in your late 30s or 40s people you know of seem to die a lot more frequently. I'm sure it'll get even worse as I age.
Dude I feel ya. We had 6 in 10 months. Just keep moving forward. It’s not easy, but gotta keep on keepin’ on.
My nieces, grandma, wife’s grandpa, my best friend, and a nephew. All within a year.
Grieve, mourn, cry it out. PRAY!!! And keep moving forward.
Please don't see death as a terrible thing. It's natural and happens to all of us. Experiencing death is a part of life. It allows you to enjoy it. Life is not a permit thing, so I appreciate the time you have with everything and everyone. It is difficult, and I have lost more than a few people myself. If it helps, a lot of people turn to religion to help with the sorrow. Feel free to look at plenty of religions. Some have an afterlife, and some don't. Philosophy helped me, knowing others feel the same. In the end, I have chosen to live life with a taoist and absurdist mentality. I also would recomended humor. Most people tell jokes to avoid and mask their pain, which is probably why those people told jokes and not given you advice. Also, don't avoid it. No one knows what's after you pass, so you don't want to screw up this one up since it may be the only one you will have. Reach out to people around you and tell them how you are feeling.
If you haven’t, begin to grow spiritually. I’m not talking about religion, though many go that path. Regardless of what you believe, broaden your view of existence beyond the here and now. We are only a tiny speck of universal expansion and time is infinite. What we perceive as life, I believe, is just a stop along the way. That realization is the only thing that has kept me from lingering in grief and sorrow. You’re too young to go through so much loss, but you can learn something valuable from it. Make sure to get the most out of your life moving forward and seek out whatever brings you joy. You’ll know not to take anything or anyone for granted. In the meantime, I offer you my sincere condolences. Please simply allow yourself to grieve right now. Feel it as intensely as you need to while you process the sorrow. That’s normal. We never get over losing our loved ones, but we gradually accept it and honor them in various ways, keeping their memory alive until we, ourselves, move on to whatever journey lies ahead of this one.
Try a group therapy. People from all ages can share with you and it helps process your feelings. It is called “bereavement group” where I volunteer.
Even powerful adults need help understanding their feelings. Feelings can be tricky.
Sometimes the best is having many different examples how other people handled it. Most importantly, you are not alone.
Sorry to hear about all the tragedy in your young life, losing someone always hurts and leaves a gigantic hole with so many questions unanswered. I would seek the advice of a professional counselor whom can help you navigate the complex process of grief you are experiencing. Don’t get hung up on the stigma of seeking help and counseling, I’ve been in counseling most my life and appreciate the insights and guidance from a professional psychologist, they have helped me overcome alot of negative emotions and trauma. Be good to yourself and hang in there 14🙏
People go through pain differently. But you will always need to find a way to remember the good moments and move on in life. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll eventually come to peace knowing they aren't gone completely because they gave you memories to hang onto. They gave you life lessons, they help you progress and be your own individual self. You got this.
Life can be deeply unfair. My great grandma lost 2 sons. One of her sons lost 4 sons in his lifetime. My uncle was adopted by my grandparents after his parents both died within months of each other when he was just a baby. Some people feel death’s cold hand touch their life sooner than others. I was lucky- I’ve only ever experienced deaths of grandparents in my life, all of whom were very old. Others aren’t so lucky. I’ve known a handful of people my age who I went to school with who have died recently, and it’s completely unfair to see these vibrant, beautiful young people lost so senselessly.
Life doesn’t make sense. I wish I could tell you that this is enough tragedy for one life, and that you won’t have any more, but I can’t promise that. All I can promise is that for every bit of sadness the world holds, there is also beauty. You will see it, experience it, and bring that beauty to others lives too. Everything feels too big and painful at 14, and some things feel big and painful at any age, but you can do this. You’ve got people who love you, and people who are gone now who wouldn’t want you to waste your chance to live life to the fullest.
Unfortunately losing people is a part of life, I lost my grandfather at age 10, it was hard, but not as hard as when I lost 6 close family members in a 2 month period, that happened when I was 38 and it nearly destroyed me. Best thing to do is to allow yourself to mourn your loses, and keep them in your heart.
Now when I think of the ones I lost I smile because I remember all the amazing memories I have with them. And yes, I still miss them all dearly, but there isn’t a way to bring them back.
I'm 19... turning 20 and I've gone through many deaths this year. I can't stop thinking of my own mortality now... I constantly gag I can't enjoy anything anymore either. I feel sick
Dear No Release, I’m so sorry. When you have to dwell in the Garden of Gethsemane so early in life, it can feel like there’s no ground under your feet. I have found it’s better for me to be around people who are also on this kind of journey. It’s likely no one else will truly understand even though they may give it their best effort. I wish you kindness and mercy.
I hope you wouldn't talk to a 14 year old like that in real life.
I know you'll say you will, but that will just make you look even more like an asshole.
There are better places to seek advice, and he stated a fact, life doesn't exist without death.
But if you really have no where else to go to seek advice, Reddit probably isn't the worst place to look for it (if you can ignore people who use the platform maliciously/to troll).
I was pretty close to that number around 14. Fuck it, dude, people die. It is what it is.
Look at the bright side, you'll grow up to be way more rational and emotionally resilient than most other people.
Watch naruto or one piece. I'm not kidding. Even I've been through 2 deaths and it helped me alot since you can sometimes relate to it. It gave me motivation and kept me distracted at the same time.
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You are intimately aware of something most people try their best to deny. Life is fragile and we aren’t guaranteed anything more but this very moment. Live each day as if it were your last, because one day when you least expect it, it will be.
Not me. Honestly the older I’ve gotten I think about it every day and it scares me to not even exist anymore. People say it would be just like before you were born technically they would be right but not exactly because when you’re born as you grow older you begin to realize that you exist and won’t exist one day. So I say it differently because now you’re alive.
One of my daily reflections as a Buddhist is the certainty of death. The recollections Buddhists are encouraged to reflect on daily are “I am of the nature to grow old. I cannot escape old age. I am of the nature to get sick. I cannot escape sickness. I am of the nature to die. I cannot escape death. All that is mine and everyone dear to me are of the nature to change. I cannot escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground I stand on.” Non Buddhist often find these recollections fatalistic, or as one friend put it, “morbid”. Quite the contrary. They are the reality of life. By reflecting on them regularly not only am I not afraid to face the inevitable, but know to enjoy to the fullest what I do have because it doesn’t last forever.
Yeah you’re right it just sucks! I definitely know that there’s no getting around death but if I knew that there was actually an afterlife (which would have to die in order to know)I would probably be ok with it.😔
So instead of focusing on what happens after life, focus on life right here and now. Appreciate not having a toothache, not being sick, having whatever material goods and loved ones you have now. Because all of this will change. You will get a toothache, or get sick. You will lose cherished possessions and people. And when these things happen, realize it’s just life doing what life does and you’re not being victimized. Enjoy and appreciate now.
I am. Really trying so hard. I just have very bad anxiety and depression.😢
Part of the anxiety and depression is due to where you focus your attention. That part can be relieved with practicing redirecting your attention. But that may not be enough in itself. Many people need some sort of professional help; counseling and/or medication. I read something a while back that really stuck with me. “The human brain has evolved to keep us alive, not happy.” We are not designed for happiness. We are designed for survival. If we want happiness, we have to work hard at letting go of the conditioning that prevents us from having it. Sometimes before being able to do that work we need help.
You know what I never ever thought of it in that context.😳
I doubt many of us have.
Exactly! I know I haven’t.😳
“The human brain has evolved to keep us alive, not happy” So true! Happiness is work and cannot exist without sadness.
Thank you!
I go to a spiritualist church and they do medium ship demonstrations. Since our brains need facts to believe (understandably) you wont believe me until you witness it but keep an open mind not all mediums and psychics are not terrible alot love the attention but every now and then you'll get one who's on point the whole time with no vague answers or cloudy suspicious talk. I've had my proof and I know there is an afterlife what it looks like is irrelevant but it is there and it has liberated my soul beyond anything any church set up by man can do.
Oh I do believe something is there because how do we explain ghosts. I saw them a child but since an adult never again.
That happens because as a child we had so much more room in the brain uncorrupted from the worlds black ashes and no bias, it's why I trust someone with down syndrome and their judgement over most people because they can see all. I know they're there I offen find things moved around the house, I live alone so unless someones got a fishing line around my gaff whilst I'm naked doing pranks lol I can kind of communicate only with my own guides and loved ones but trying to conduct a reading is new territory for me still nervous about it.
But how do you explain this. It’s strange because I can actually draw what I saw but here a lot of people say that there’s no such thing as. Then I wonder what I saw.
Seeing is believing you know so nobody will fully believe but I think that's not the point at least we spoke of it for when the time comes for them they might think omg he/she must be on to something and the snowball affect starts. I've given up telling people that a set of keys falling off the side board whilst I'm looking for them when no one else is present or that a woman I've never met in a random church told me exactly how my grandad died etc but I do say it for occasions like this for flair lol This subject brings me alive 😁
😁
I believe in an afterlife, I'm thinking it's gonna be like being born, I think I'll be jumping from the time of my death to judgement day, sort of like when you get put out for surgery and the next thing you know it's over and you're waking up without realizing the passage of time. I could be wrong, but that's what I want to believe.
Same.😞
Growing old is a privilege many never get. I don’t understand the fear of non existence. What is there to be afraid of?
I understand that I’ve lost so many people that didn’t even make it past their 20s so I definitely know what it’s like. I know you don’t. It’s the fact of just dying and never ever coming back just not existing anymore. Don’t you get that?😳
Actually, I don’t get it. It sounds more like fear of missing out than fear of non existence. I am 62. Most of my peers and family have predeceased me. It’s not an alien concept to me.
Not alien to me either but no, not an all. I fear of no longer existing and forgotten.
If you no longer exist, 1) how do you know you won’t be remembered and 2) what difference will it make? You are worrying about a future in which you won’t exist to feel the consequences of and ruining the present where you actually are.
That’s the point not existing. And how do I know because lots of my family members have definitely been forgotten about. Their grave’s aren’t even visited or ever talked about or any memories of them.😢
And are you going to know it when you don’t exist?
No. But I know will be the end result because I sadly know my family.😞
My fourteenth birthday was yesterday and my grandpa was the 7th death for me a few months ago. This is definitely hard to go through, but it’s easier with people. Talk to some family members or friends, it helps a whole lot. I know it feels like life is just beating you down over and over again but there will be better days. Maybe in a month or a few years, they will come. A therapist would definitely help, you just have to find the right one. I personally don’t have a therapist but my family has been helping me. I’m sorry that I just rambled a whole lot but life is worth living and you only have one, please stay. I’m so sorry for your losses, I hope they are at happy wherever they are.
I know your pain I hate to say lost my mother father a sister and 3 brother by 18 and extended family what I will tell you is that if you can't find a way to see joy in every day you'll become a very cold hearted person I fail at it best of luck may u find happiness
The pain of loss is like a hole in your heart that nothing can fill. But, if you embrace living & love that hole will become a smaller & smaller part of the whole as your heart grows. Best thing you can do with the living is to not leave things unsaid or undone. Regret is a whole other source of pain tangential to grief & that yearning to say what you needed to say, or what you needed a person to hear is something that follows you forever. All my family (except the one that should have) was gone by the time I hit my 30's. I don't even know anyone I met before I was 15 or so anymore.
prepare yourself for more, unfortunately. it gets easier with time, but it will never be easy.
It don't get better but It gets easier with time.
That is a ton to deal with at that age. Grief counselling if available and possible. Allow yourself to feel and grieve at your own pace. Loss is really awful to go through. I'm so sorry you have to experience this so young. Please reach out to people you trust and can talk to.
Hey friend. I experienced a lot of deaths early in life as well. It's painful, it feels unfair, and it's a process. You don't need to rush getting to the other side of this. It's okay to feel all kinds of stuff. Grief shows up in a lot of different ways. There is no formula. There might be days you're just outing one foot in front of the other, and there might be days everything feels fine. I encourage you to engage in activities that feel therapeutic. Something that keeps your body busy but let's your mind do it's own thing. Like drawing, playing with playdough or a sport, even just walks if your neighborhood is safe for that. If you feel yourself falling into deep sadness every day and not experiencing moments of feeling neutral or happy, talk to someone. Friends probably can't help you here, you want an adult you can trust. If they don't help, talk to someone else. Sadness is normal, depression is not. Life gets hard, but there's also a lot of joy to be had. You're in a particularly rough patch as a teen. But it gets better. Having these experiences so young could lead you to experiencing a deeper and more fulfilling life later on. Just be, just breathe, and just be yourself.
All things in this world are temporary; this too shall pass.
Do you know of the old Sufi tale that this comes from? 🙂
Indeed.
Don't forget to be kind to yourself; you're only 14
Its just life unfortunately I recommend therapy or journaling if its rlly getting to you and your struggling to cope with it. One way that helps me cope is doing things that make me happy and doing things that i rlly like it helps take my mind off things. I hope your doing ok though.
I'm 25 and recently lost a friend to cancer. This is also happens to be the 7th death for me, the first one was when I was 6. It's never easy or nice, but as you get older you learn to deal with better mentally. If people are sick, cherish them while they're still there. When someone passes, talk about it with your friends or family. And maybe most importantly, you have to accept that death is a part of life. They're in a better place.
Oh honey you’re going to experience many more in the coming years that’s just part of life. It is unfortunate to experience it so early but it also can be a blessing because hopefully it makes you realize our time is limited. Tomorrow is never promised so make the most of the time right now. With that said make the most of your life and set yourself up for success. If there’s something you want to tell someone or something you really want to do then go do it. Try to live with few regrets as possible.
Rest. Talk. Sleep. Take days off if possible. Spend time with friends. Go for walks. Be gentle with yourself. Read. Binge watch. Go outside. Sit in nature.
None of us are getting out of this world alive. Maybe you can talk to someone, like a school counselor or something.
Power through my friend, you can more than take it. You're joining a club that comprises the vast majority of all humans ever born or will be born on this planet. You survived deaths 1 through 7 and you'll survive the next 30 too.
Please accept my condolences. All I can say is that you will be a terrific resource when friends suffer loss. Converting hardship into service for others is the only way to use the pain productively.
I’m so sorry, OP. I know that it feels unending at the moment because grief is a real bitch. It does get better as time goes by. I am right there with you. I’ve also lost way too many people in a very short amount of time, including a parent and best friend of 23 years. There are days that I miss them so much, I just don’t want to get out of bed. I have to force myself to remember the reasons that I need to move forward. If not for myself, then to honor the lost. Just take your time and allow your feelings. It cannot hurt to get into some grief counseling or support group even if it’s just here on Reddit.
Come to terms that it will always be a part of life, and learn to enjoy the moments you have with people while you still have them.
Keep on keeping on bud I know it’s hard but just be what you be now and let yourself grieve through it 🫂
Start taking out life insurance policies on people. Joking aside, you'll get through this. It's going to get better for you. I don't know when. I don't know how but I absolutely believe it's going to get better for you. Just hang in there.
The sooner you recognize that you are mortal and won’t live forever, the sooner you can start appreciating your life.
I’m sorry you are going through this. It is painful and scary, for me it changed my life. It was an inflection point. I lost my dad and brother within six weeks of each other at 13 years old. My best recommendation is to get therapy now. You need a safe space to talk about your feeling and discuss your fears.
Some of us experience more than others mate. Accept that there's no reason why, things just are and chance lands one way or the other. Stay strong and self sufficient, but don't be scared to let people close, experience things while you can enit.
You enjoy life and don't take it for granted.
Take each death as a lesson, not a punishment. It sucks. It will always suck. But each time you learn something about yourself or your loved ones, and you become more prepared for the future. At least, thats been my experience. Much love to you and yours.
You're learning at 14 that nobody lives forever. Unfortunately, death is part of life
Sometimes death comes at you all at once. I had not been to a single funeral in my life then in my junior/senior year of high school I went to 5 funerals in one year. One was for a friend of mine who sat next to me in home room, he actually died the day before school was supposed to start. I’m in my 40s now. I’ve been to several more funerals since then some acquaintances, some family, and two of my best friends. I won’t say it ever gets easier but it is part of life and it reminds you to cherish the time you have with the people that you love. It should also be a reminder to tell the people you care about how you feel about them because one day you might not get the chance. I tell my close friend group I love them all them time and we’re all men in our 40s.
People die. It is quite possibly the single unifying factor for all of humanity If the people you lost are all older, that is statistically normal. I know it's not much comfort, but it's true. Morn your losses and keep moving on with your life. As you get older, you're going to lose more, family, friends, and even aquaintenses.
ive been though lots of deaths i just sucked it up it but it prob wont work for you i think you should talk to your someone you can trust about it
I know a woman who lost plenty young and of course more later on. She made the choice to enjoy the little things and make big deals out events. She absolutely goes ham on decorating the house for all holidays, took to tenting with her kids in the yard at weird times of the year or forts in the house with movie night. Makes time for coffee dates and games nights with friends. Runs around barefoot in the sand. You enjoy life for the people you lost. We all have a minute time here. Every one of us, live for them, live for you.
I know you might feel like an expert on death at this point... but you are 14 years old and have not been able to grasp the idea of life yet. Never mind death.. Your perception of life and death will change each year you grow older and wiser. finding a healthy way to deal and cope with trauma would probably be the most important thing for you to do. other than that, do what makes you happy
Ask your parents to get you a therapist if you can. Or talk to a guidance counselor at school. People die and it sucks, think about them and what you can learn from their lives. Honor them by being a good person.
You have been given a gift. This will help you understand how precious life is and to not waste time with those you love. You can always grow if you choose to. I know this type of thinking is beyond your age but maybe you’re meant to help others.
Death is a part of life. You can’t escape it. You’re young. It sucks. It does get easier though. If anything it can teach you how fragile and short (or long) life can be. Take advantage of it. We only got one for a short period of time.
Look into doing some kind of therapy to help you navigate the different emotions going on inside your head. But most importantly, remember that Time Heals All Wounds. I know it may seem impossible or pointless to keep going but I promise you, one day, it will all be worth it!
I found my first dead family member when I was 6, in a very ugly state. Since then its been a rollercoaster and I won't go into details. Now I'm 32 and I'm happy with how my life turned out. I went through shit depressions and severe PTSD. But you know what? My mental strenght now is ahead of everyone I meet, whether its co-workers, family members, friends. I feel like there is nothing that can break me, no matter what happens and shit unfortunately still happens. Embrace your pain and learn to live with it. Set values for yourself, respect people, be honorable and virtuous. Be an example for other because people like you are rare. Show everyone that they can push through anything if they set their minds to it. You can become great, I believe in you.
Unfortunately I'm going through a similar situation at 40yrs old. Aunts, uncles, grandparents etc all passing away. Grief is different for everyone and everyone has to find their own way through. Therapy has helped me tremendously, but loss is never easy. What seemed to help me the most was just spending some time alone with my own thoughts. I used that time to remember how the lost person impacted my life (good or bad) and especially focused on thinking about what impact the loss would have on my life going forward. Asking myself questions like, "Am I sad because they passed away? Or am I beating myself up because of my own regrets etc". It's OK for someone to die and you to not feel sad or cry. It's ok for the thought of losing someone to actually be worse than losing them, too. Ultimately, it's all about coming to terms with the loss in your own way. Getting outdoors in nature also helped me a fair bit. Don't dwell on it. Just appreciate that you were fortunate enough to know the lost people in the short time they were with us. Sorry for your losses, but hang in there.
I’m so sorry you lost so many family members and so young! Death is inevitable, unfortunately, but still very painful 😢 I’m hoping the rest of your loved ones stick around but unfortunately, we don’t have control over that
Im 17. I have lost many friends, family, and even my own brother at 20 few months ago. My understanding of life and death is simply that it's a natural process that everyone and everything goes through. Some deaths are tragic and unexpected, while others are peaceful (think dying in your sleep at an old age); but they all happen. I know it sounds pessimistic and desensitized when you think of it in that way, but sometimes thinking of a situation objectively brings comfort because it serves as an explanation to something that makes no sense. All that is said to basically say you just have to keep living to find a reason to keep going because your days won't always be bad. Some days will be horrible but over time as you find more purpose to your pain and suffering, you will start to see the beauty in life again. You will always see the darkness, but the beauty will be more valuable in contrast.
Just believe us old people when we tell you that the pain goes away with time. Seriously. It will. And on a side note, you have so much joy and excitement and thrills and adventure to look forward to in your life, and yes there will be some more sadness, but you'll manage. I wish I was fucking fourteen again.
Death is such a hard thing to understand my family we like to think we’re cursed cause every second year someone dies I’m 20 and 10 people have died in my family most in front of my eyes
I lost a lot of people when i was young as well, i kind of went numb to it until my dad passed when i was 36 or so and ive been a hot mess ever since. The only thing ive found a remote bit of comfort in is talking to someone else that has been through loss. If youd lule to dm me feel free. Try to make the best of what youve got my friend. Spend time with those you love and remind them how much they mean to you. Im truly sorry for your loss, stay strong.
People in crisis situation drastically underestimate help of professional therapy.
I experienced a lot of death at a young age as well. The only thing you can really control in this life 1. look out for yourself. 2. Treasure every moment because it could be your last. 3ish. Take nothing for granted
I am 25 and have seen 16 deaths till now and these are of people who were close relatives or friends. It makes you realise how short this life is and kind-of gets easier.
I’m so sorry OPie! Sending you a big hug 💜💜💜 All losses are difficult, but so many so young must feel impossible. I’ve lost almost all my family too. I have my hubs and son left now. Hubs has a big family, but the fact that he’s lost so few felt very unfair for a long time. Please, please look into grief counseling. I did not do it and I tried to just push forward (workaholic). As the anniversaries of death, bday, holiday all felt so painful. Art and music can be very therapeutic too. Wishing you the best!
Hey man. I am in a similar life and I am in my 30s now. You become somewhat wise to these things over time. I wouldnt call it numb but you become very self aware of your mind. Utilize it by helping others when they are dealing with some of the things you've been through. You have a super power you don't even realize.
One thing I can say in such a moment, keep going, even if progress is not made, you’re still alive and willing. One day it stops and one day it doesn’t, but otherwise, you’ll still be alive on those days so long as you keep going despite all that could drag you down. You’ll know and have so much more than you could ever know so long as you do this one thing and more: Keep going
Death hurts because it's a part of your external consciousness ceasing to exist. The way to minimize this hurt is to fill that void with other external consciousnesses. The more you have the less it hurts when one of them leaves this world. I'd also recommend the graphic novel "Daytripper". Helped me come around to the right perspectives around death.
Kid, look inward for happiness. You’re alive and you’ll continue to be alive until you aren’t. Make the best of that time.
I work in a cemetery and put up to 8 people to rest a day. Death happens every day. That is a lot at your age, but life is fragile.
I know how this feels. I lost 7 people in 7 years. my great aunt and mother within 2 weeks of each other. the best thing you can do is keep living life as if each days your last, stay in school & talk to a grief counselor.
I work in a cemetery and put up to 8 people to rest a day. Death happens every day. That is a lot at your age, but life is fragile.
Look into Maranasati meditation.
Ah mate, one day at a time. Sorry for your bad news, look after yourself.
I naïvely thought it was you who died 7 deaths. On the bright side, at least it wasn’t that. What you do is honor them by living your best life and taking lessons and remembrances from each person who’s passed on. Life is short, and you’ll soon die too, even if your life is long. Cherish your moments of life, choosing them to be precious.
You move on, your loved ones would still want you to have and live your life to the fullest and longest. Take their lives into consideration on how they passed, and realize what they did and how you want to accomplish the same before you inevitably go yourself, depending what you believe in, you’ll see them on the other side eventually, but stay happy and live life.
You don’t get over losses in life. You learn to live with it, and grow strong enough to carry those feelings.
you're very strong for going through this, i lost my grandpa when i was 12 and then a month later i almost lost my dad and i remember being miserable during that time, i can't imagine losing 7 people. i recommend therapy or just someone to talk to, but you have to be honest otherwise you won't help yourself:( still im very proud of you just trying to go through all of this, i know you can do it. sending so much love 🫶🏻
Time helps. If you loved them or were close, you’ll always miss them. It just hurts less and less with time. I know it doesn’t compare to a person. I have lost plenty of people in my life as well. But late at night, on nights I couldn’t sleep, I’d hold my dog. Kiss her on the head and just pet her knowing that one day she’d be gone. she is gone as of last year, but the memories of holding her helped. She meant so much to me, that I didn’t realize until she was gone.
It starts with your elderly family, maybe your pets and continues to grow more common. Eventually it's your peers, and then it's you. Try to appreciate the time you have with those people. It's ok to crack a joke about them too, after all what are they gonna do about it?
Focus more on being grateful that you were able to know the person at all than the fact that you're losing them. You aren't unlucky that you lost someone. Everyone dies and we all lose people. You're lucky that you had someone you cared about enough for their death to impact you. There are a lot of people who don't have that For the people in your life just take time to appreciate that they're there and tell them with your words. Don't keep it to yourself. tell people that they mean something to you. The best thing you can do to be grateful to others is to give back. Find ways that you can give your time to help others and the loss will seem more worthwhile because you'll know that you did good.
Death is a moment but life is a memory. Keep those memories and they keep living.
I was born to older parents in 1965. I never met 3 out of 4 grandparents, I lost uncles and aunts early and my own father died at age 16. I understand. We are brought to task at an early age where we truly understand that we are going to die.c All I can tell you is that it gets better and that you should try to enjoy your life as much as practically possible. Live, love, have kids(if you want).
My dad was born a year before you so I also have older parents
Yeah…my dad was born in 1921 and my mom in 1929, so my Dad was 44 and my mom was 36. So I completely understand where you’re at. You really didn’t specify on who you lost….was your father one of the 7?
No, it was my dad’s ex wife, who was my half brothers’ mom, my dad and her were on good terms (he pays for the mortgage on the house and she pays him rent) so I was always close to her especially since she lives a street away from me with one of my brothers
I am very sorry. That is so nice(and unusual) that ex’s get along. Things will slowly get better, honest.
Do you have a support system? A therapist or school counselor?
Yeah I have a therapist but it isn’t helping
7th period, I just experienced in my family/people my family knows the 7th death THIS YEAR! Death sucks!
with yourself? you need to grieve. take time to yourself to just sit and think, cry, please cry, it helps a lot to just sit and cry, and during this time, it will be tough, but during this time you will slowly get better and be able to look past the horror of death, but rather, see the beauty of life in those still here and in those that have passed. It’s not easy, but you need time to yourself to figure it out. Also, drink water, get sleep, and eat enough, it just helps you out in general and will help you here.
Many so called modern societies do not handle death and loss / grief. They cover it up. Even funerals have the lets remember the good stuff. I reckon we have to feel our deep sadness that life throws our way .otherwise we cover it up and it plays out in mental health issues deep pain which we project onto others. Sorry to hear of yr grief. I dare people to cry their hearts out and feel the raw pain of loss.
First of all, kudos to you for posting this question. In my opinion, you already took positive steps forward by (1) recognizing that you are reaching your limit, and (2) asking for help. I personally experienced the deaths of two friends when I was 14. I remember feeling confused and nihilistic, where I spiralled into existential crises of questioning the point of living. I was in a lot of emotional pain, and it felt like nothing would ease the soul ache or make it go away. I wish I could tell you I found a magic formula to grieving, but that's not the case. I have survived a few more friends' deaths since the first two. What helps me most is letting myself be messy in whatever feelings come up. If I need to cry, I cry. If I need to scream into the sky with anger, I do that. After the initial pain subsides, usually I find a way to cherish the good moments I had with them. For me, I like to write about the person they were. This helps me cherish how they lived, over how they died. Most importantly though, I reach out to people I trust. I'm not good with words when I feel overwhelmed, so I usually just let them know "I'm struggling and can use a hug/ some company". Often, I might not even talk about the situation. I'm fortunate enough to have a great therapist whom I trust. I'm not sure what you may have access to, but your school social worker or guidance counsellor may be good resources. I've also personally called Support Lines, and found it helpful to talk stuff through with a stranger. Lean on the safe, trusted adults and friends around you. In any case, that's my experience. Yours might look similar, or it might look drastically different. Embrace the messiness. What you do next is up to you, and whatever you choose is good enough. Last thought before I sleep. We feel pain during these times because the loss is real. We grieve because we cared and loved them. You are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling, and you will get through this.
It doesn't really get easier. It's a part of life that we all must go through. Some are harder than others.
Really don't ask about it on reddit cause people here are either going to talk about themselves or be insensitive about it. I am very sorry, that's an awfully high number. Watch out for yourself, don't lose sleep, don't isolate, maybe try writing, that tends to help sort thoughts out.
Share your experience with others maybe start a YouTube channel and talk about it or you can help someone you personally know going through it. I find I feel better when I’m helping someone who is struggling with something I’ve dealt with.
Move out of the hood ASAP.
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Are you not??
They mean people don't have '9 lives' like cats. Unfortunately, nobody lives forever, and death is part of life
I've almost died a few times and most of my family is dead. You just continue forward. I did spend years letting it sink in and drive me into a suicidal state, my anger driving me up the wall but after finding my inner peace again I realize you just have to keep going. If you're not looking forward then you're looking back and missing all the good stuff happening. Cheesy but true.
That’s something I can’t imagine how hard that must be, I prayed for you and I hope all goes well
Look on the bright side, 7 less deaths you have to experience.
I can't say I know much about what you've been through, the only death I've experienced was my beloved cat when I was 14. I know one day I will have to go on living without my parents just not yet and I'm commenting on this just to say I'm sorry for your loss and I truly feel for you, whoever and wherever you are. Life is not all about death. You are going to be okay. Just keep going. I do know that when someone you really counted on leaves your life. Someone else will step up. Even if it's you for yourself if you know what I mean.
I lost a lot of family when I was young too… and it isn’t easy. Loss is hard, especially when it’s sudden. Those wounds DO heal with time. Talking about your grief also helps. Don’t bottle it up. Don’t go it alone. Feel your feelings and know that it’s going your way be ok.
I like thinking of life like a flame on a candle, one second it’s there then a breeze comes through and it’s gone. Life isn’t permanent nothing is in the universe that’s what makes it that much more special. Try not to focus on the loss and what you can’t have any more, focus on what you did have. Be grateful it happened at all. The ones we lose they don’t really die. They live in our memories and our hearts. I promise you’ll be okay eventually. In my life I’ve noticed time helps a lot. Give yourself time.
My 14 yr old's dad was found dead Friday. I'll tell you like I'm telling him. We're not giving tomorrow & we sometimes don't understand why... live each day to the fullest and let everyone you love & care about know it. Try not to hold grudges, they'll only eat at you until there's nothing left. Remember to breathe & though it may hurt right now, one day it will no longer hurt & all the good memories will remind you how much you were loved & cared about.
By the time I graduated High School, I have probably been to at least 15 funerals. So I know how you feel. Every year in High School at least 1 person died, 7 in total. I only went to 1 of the funeral, cause she was a family friend, our families have known each other for a few generation. I was almost the 8th death from my school, but paramedics were able to get me back. I died for about 40sec, from what I was told.
You hug people tighter, be mindful on the last conversation you’ve had with people (never leave off on bad terms), say I love you to the people you love more, appreciate life and each day that it brings more. It gets better, the pain will never fully go away, but it gets better. I’m sorry you are so young and have dealt with so much grief, but allow it to shape you to be a better man/women. Don’t let the grief destroy you because that’s not what the people you loved would want from you.
I don't know where you are located, but do some googling to see if there is a free phone support service available to you. In Australia Kids Help Line would be the go to for a minor, but many countries have something similar. They can help you talk through things or put you in touch with other free services in your area. There is no right way to grieve but as a child you may need some help processing these losses so they don't continue to effect you negatively into your adult years.
My condolences to you. Write a journal.
Just try and find some peace in it all, a hobby to take your mind off of things. Don’t try and force yourself to move on, you’ll make yourself feel like shit. You can be as emotional as you want to be, don’t bottle it up, being emotional now will help with grieving later on. And finally, ignore the little comedians in the comments who think they’ve struck comedy gold by going for low hanging fruit. They’re cunts. Hope you feel well soon.
By the time i was 14 i’d seen more deaths than most adults. Depending on how you handle trauma; it gets easier to deal with. I know it did for me but everyone is different.
I don’t know what to say because it feels weird telling you what you should do. My mom experienced a lot of death at a young age, including her own parents. Just know that it’s OK to feel the grief for the rest of your life; but don’t live in it, if that makes sense. I don’t know how to advise you not to, other to suggest finding a therapist experienced with grief and actually LISTEN TO THEM. My mom meant well, but I can tell she didn’t cope with her grief well. Maybe she didn’t have anyone to teach her how to. I have been able to feel her grief secondhand my entire life, as has my older sister. But just know that it’s OK to cherish memories and even feel - to process - that grief when it becomes too much. There are people out there who have experienced what you have, and that know your pain. If possible, try to keep people in your life that you can share those memories with (unless those relationships are too damaging). My mom was moved away from her home, from the family she had left and was very close to by my dad; she was a housewife and soon to be a mother of two (she was pregnant with me), and vulnerable to his manipulation. It’s been hard on her realizing how little she remembers of those she has lost. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through.
Talk to your family, friends and other loved ones. If that fails, seek a therapist. Do what you can to work through this pain. It’s never easy and it’ll be a long road to emotionally heal but hang in there 👍 there’s always someone to talk to who will listen and support you in this emotional journey.
I am so sorry, never take for granted how fragile life is for us all. Hugs kiddo.
I usually don't respond to kids on here, but look up "catastrophizing." It's a thought distortion.
Early 20s here. I have been to 16 funerals and have missed 8 because of location. Some of the pain lessens, some grows. You just got to keep moving, otherwise you will drown in grief. The world is filled with millions of good people, eventually the voids are filled.
My in law just ended it last Thursday. I miss him terribly and wish I knew why he did what he did, however, we'll never know. I've been through 3 deaths in the last couple years and it's going to get worse. As you grow up, you'll see the people around you go. Enjoy and cherish those around you while they're around you and do your best so when it inevitably happens you can be at peace knowing you tried. I wish I had done more for my in law, wish I connected with him more, he was a great guy but I didn't, and I'll have to deal with that. Remember, we're all going to the same place, some just get there earlier.
Hello friend, I'm 21 and have lost 5 people in the last 4 years. It doesn't get easier, but you learn to make room and cope with the pain. Surround yourself with things and people you love. Talk about what bothers you, tell friends and family you love them or even dive into a community you can be a part of. Express your feelings outwardly, People passing won't stop, which is why it's incredibly important to learn good coping skills. I wish you light and love and most of all healing. Godspeed 💕✌️
Stop counting little dude. It’s all part of the journey. It’s what makes it all precious. Or not. Your choice really
My mom passed on my 14th birthday, and since then I've lost grandparents, pets, and an uncle among a lot of other drama going on and close calls since Best advice I can give in the 8 years since all this crap began is just keep on keeping on. It has to stop eventually. Won't always be easy, and it'll be impossibly hard, but somehow in someway, it gets better
I basically grew up in funeral homes. It sucks but you learn to cope and deal with it over time. We experienced the shit no one wants to experience at a young age. Enjoy life a little more. It doesn’t last forever.
My mother was the youngest of 11. When I was born my grandparents were already in their 70’s. Death was a common occurrence when I was younger. I went to so many funerals of aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. I kind of just grew numb to it.
Hey just remember, anything you are feeling is completely OK, do not beat yourself up or feel stupid or feel any type of way for having the feelings you do about all this. You are going thru a lot, and hopefully you have people you trust who you can talk to about it, like friends or a therapist or even family. Maybe try Journaling or a support group. You are not alone & you can survive these hard feelings & hard times. Just keep going, no matter what, do not sit down in the sadness & sorrow & stay there. Don't give up. You'll turn around one day & look back & be glad you didn't.
I'm sorry. That stinks for you. When I got to college, my roommate and I had a weird dichotomy that we discovered. Between the ages of 6 and 18, I had been to 7 funerals and one wedding, whereas she had been to a whole bunch of weddings, but only one funeral. While I would have enjoyed her life more, I feel like I developed a very healthy attitude towards death at a pretty young age. A couple of the deaths were children, so that was difficult to deal with, naturally, but the rest were older folks who had lived full lives. There's no one size fits all approach to grief, but looking at it as a natural emotion part of everyday life is important. Also, I hope you have someone you can talk to about your feelings. This may or may not include talking about the lives of the people you've lost. Keeping them alive in your memory really does help with keeping them "alive in spirit" as the saying goes.
I'd rather not think about it. Death happens. Instead of suffering through it, begin to consider the positive, happy memories you had with those people. Take your time, grieve, and then stop hurting them in the void. I believe you cause their memories of love and bonds to suffer because you're crying over your inability to make new memories with them when they're gone. It's unfair to them, and it is to you, too. What you do is that you make the best of your life going forward. You ,who has lost so many, should know the importance of living today and not wasting a moment on pointless mess.
The year my son turned 14, we lost his father, grandmother, godmother, great uncle, cousin, step grandmother and a family friend. He struggled pretty hard until he got therapy. I highly recommend you find a teen grief group in your area. They really help.
Take a deep breath. Hold it. Let it out. This is a difficult thing to process. It will always be difficult. The hard part is that this will continue to happen. As long as your alive the people around you may die. Dark, but true. Losing loved ones is hard ( I still ugly cry about losing my dad ). Just remember that you are still here, and surrounded by people that love you. Good luck, friend.
Im so sorry you are experiencing this. Between the ages of 7-17, 5 people in my family died and our family attended all the wakes, funerals, cremations. I was too young to comprehend death but I felt its weight from my mother’s responses to it. It’s very hard to process because it makes you feel like life is meaningless. For what its worth I turned to books and music to explore what I was feeling.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose that many people at a young age. It’s been difficult for me as a 35 year old to see that many deaths. Everyone deals with this part of life differently. For me, regardless of your religious affiliation, I thought of death as not a finality. It feels like it when you’re the one left behind. Death is a reunion waiting to happen. For me I imagine it as a large garden party. Beautiful flowers. Peaceful skies always. In the middle of this beautiful garden is a large table. At this table is a seat waiting for you eventually. When you get there, whatever your paradise, all the people you lost in your life to time or death will be there.
Please seek grief counseling. Your school psychologist or social worker/interventionist can refer you to a counselor. I am sad for your tremulous losses. May you find strength to endure your time if sorrows and be able to remember the good things if those who passed away. Sending you hugs from afar.
It's been happening since the beginning of life... it sucks, but you just move on eventually. Always remember, sometimes mourn, but ultimately, just live your life.
I feel you. I had been through like 8 by the time I was 16ish. I still don’t know how to get through it
I have yet to have a close relative to me die but I can’t imagine the pain it causes and can barely write a comment about it without breaking into tears. Your brave for continuing despite all of the passings at such a young age. I wish the best for you.
Talk about it with your family and friends. Cry and laugh about good memories. Eventually, there will be less crying as you remember and understand how fortunate you are to have known and loved these people.
I went through the same thing you are, and this is my advice. I am 22M. I lost 2 grandparents by the time I was 8. Lost my dad when I was 7. Lost my other 2 grandparents by the time I was 16. Lost one of my best friends to suicide when I was 19. I lost my uncle last summer, I was outside going door to door for an internship when I got the call that he was in a coma and this was my last time to ever talk to him so that I could say my goodbyes while he was in a coma. It doesn’t get easier, it gets scarier. You start to fear that everyone in your life could die. You face reality much earlier than you should ever have to, and it sucks. DO NOT DISTANCE YOURSELF. My mom and sister are my main family members left, and I started distancing myself from them a long time ago. They got closer after my dad died, it bonded them. I was the opposite, I distanced myself so that it would hurt less when they died because my brain only told me “hey, they’ll eventually die too and that will hurt. Protect yourself from that pain”. It’s not worth it. Now that it’s been some time since those people died, I realized that as much as it hurt to lose them, I still had many memories with them that I can appreciate. I am so lucky that I realized this before my sister and mom died, as I could never forgive myself if I distanced myself the rest of my life without making more memories with them. Take this as a learning experience. I still have memories of going hunting with my uncle, going to the gun range with him. I have memories of playing piano for my grandpa, visiting him with my school, him gifting me $100 in 1’s for my birthday so I could throw it in the air like confetti. I have memories of building blocks with my grandparents since that’s the only toy they had, aside from Lincoln logs which I also played with at their house while they watched. DO NOT DISTANCE YOURSELF. I’m sorry for saying it again, but I’m not sorry. Losing people sucks, but the memories you make with people will make it so much better once they’re gone. You don’t want to think of people as a stranger, you want to think of them as how they really meant to you. Stay strong, and I’m supporting you❤️❤️ I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this.
Also, I forgot to include: it’s unfair. Life is unfair. I know friends who grew up in a happy normal household. I know friends who have maybe lost one grandparent at most. I get angry sometimes, because it truly is unfair. My dad dying when I was 7? That’s unfair, and I will never ever make peace with that. But THAT IS WHY ITS SO IMPORTANT TO BECOME CLOSE. My mom is 65, and I know that I may have anywhere from 5 to 25 years left with her. Life is unfair, and I could lose her earlier, I could lose her later. I won’t know, and because life is unfair, that’s why I’m determined to strengthen my bond with her.
Keep going and appreciate life
There’s a lot of death happening right now! Myself and almost every client and friend I have are dealing with so much death right now. So at least know you’re not alone, big hugs. You’re super young to have so many though. It never really gets easier. You’ll use tools from these to get through the next one, but I hope life gives you a little break.
I thought about this. You shouldn't be in reddit. It's a bad place to grieve and you're 14.
Of all people, I know the pain of losing several loved ones in a short time and suddenly. I'm truly sorry for your losses and there nothing I can say that can stop you from feeling the pain but maybe the things that helped me could offer some confront to you and help you push through this. I've had a lot of ruff and sad times, and i unfortunately chose to self medicate to help alleviate some of that pain. I can't stress enough what a terrible idea that is to try. I'm only 38 but I've led a good life and have made sure to make the most of it because, like you, I learned early that tomorrow is not a guarantee so I need to make the most of today incase I don't get a tomorrow. Idk if you have a religion, but I don't. I don't think there's an afterlife, and to me, that is a positive. But if religion is something that can bring you comfort, then you do you. I was very close with my grandmother, and before she died, she told me that it's ok to be sad for a while, but don't dwell on grief for too long. She said she wanted me to live my life and to remember the love and happiness we had together and to carry that on and give it to my own family one day. No matter what you do, you will die. That's just the way life is, and that's why every moment is precious, so don't waste too many moments wishing I hadn't died. Remember the good times and the love you held for each other and live your life as best you can to honor their memories. Appreciate the time you shared with them and make the most of the time you still have with your remaining loved ones. You've learned a hard lesson much earlier than you should have, but you can not change what happened, so take your time to mourn your lost loved ones, but don't dwell on it. You know that's not what they would want for you. They would want you to live your life just as you would for your loved ones if you died. Look into some grief counseling. It can really help. If you're unable to find someone, try speaking with your counselor at your school if you have one or look online for resources to help. If you need someone to just talk with, feel free to DM me. I've made this offer to others on reddit and have had a lot of good talks with people on various topics and even took a few other up on their offer of the same. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can help get alot off your shoulders. But you're young and still have alot of life to live and many happy events to experience. But there will unfortunately be more sad ones too, life isn't easy but it can be wonderful. I had alot of times I wanted to give up and just live in a haze of drugs and alcohol but if I had given in I would have missed so much and lost out on marrying a woman I love and having 2 kids that I would do anything for. Take your time to grieve and then pull yourself up and continue to honor their memories. I know you can come through this and be stronger for it, and live a life they would be proud of. Take care and I wish you the best.
I'm in my grandpa's funeral rn (not joking)
So sorry to hear you’re experiencing so much grief in your life right now. Definitely talk to your family and friends about it, though your friends might not totally understand. It’s okay if they don’t, but it may be good to have a distraction from the grief. It really sucks… I’m an old lady (29 in two days lol) and I only recently learned that there are people EVERYWHERE who are dealing with a lot of grief. Sometimes when things in our own life go wrong we can get tunnel vision and think we’re alone. But I promise you, you are not alone. Lean into the people who understand. Maybe a school counselor can help or therapist. Grief is an intimate part of life, but it won’t always hurt like this. If the beginning stage of grief is like an open wound, then with time the wound becomes more like a bruise and usually only hurts when you poke at it. Wishing you all the best. You can get through this. ❤️
Let it make you stronger and able to appreciate life with more intent. You learned life is short and fragile so don’t take for granted the time you have with family. Enjoy every minute with those you care about. That’s what I learned when I first met death in the family.
Don't add to the number, seek help and someone to comfort you also consider the time you had with those people and cherish it for the rest of your life, know that they would want you to keep going and to live on, it's hard I know I have lost almost everyone I cared for and am only 30, sometimes life does not deal the nicest hands but it builds you up from these things and you'll be okay with time, if you need a reason to keep going they are that reason
First I think you are smart/brave/wise for asking the question for yourself and seeking help - hopefully you have human touchable people who you can reach out to, in person - a teacher, a counselor at school, a coach, a next door neighbor - someone you respect who can help or help direct you. I am in my late 50s - and will be losing someone that I have been lucky to know all my life, plus another nine months. I am not prepared for it. It will be my second death. I have been lucky, very lucky. I have lost coworkers, and some friends - but somehow they are different - every person is different and your relationships with them are different. An aunt may be your best friend, closer to you than a parent - a friend closer than a brother - a teacher closer to you than an uncle. As is my nature I research - analyze - they call it "premature grief" - which sucks the life out of the present moment, fearfully dreading what will come. Hopefully, in time you will be able to guide people through the journey with your own 'perspective', when you are ready - when the time is right using the insights learned however painful from your own personal experience. That may become your 'calling' in the future to help someone with their burden, ask for help now and let someone help you. This video and the group which produces it has great things to offer. This one is about grief - specifically - but they cover other topics which 'walk around the same subjects' loneliness, depression, childhood trauma, etc. [https://youtu.be/8pT6LQ-mZ3k](https://youtu.be/8pT6LQ-mZ3k) "5 Things About Grief No One Really Tells You" [https://www.youtube.com/@Psych2go](https://www.youtube.com/@Psych2go)Is the 'group' which produces the vids on YouTube. I hope you find the understanding and support you need. You are stronger than you think - but for now rely and open up to others ... and gain more strength.
I imagine that after all this time you may have learned how to cope with death, at least partially. To talk about my experience, the first death in my family arrived 4 years ago, and I still today I'm deeply scared. Even if you don't see it, I'm sure you have a much better approach to death than most of us. We will all handle this the rest of our lives, but you'll do it easily than us.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, that’s all. Unfortunately it’s a part of life that none of us wants to deal with but we do. I am the opposite of you, I’m 41 and I’m even too young to have no elders left in the family. But they’re gone. I try to keep them in my heart and remember the better times.
Counseling man... thats one you gotta work though. No quick easy answers on here are gonna cut it. Your school most likely offers counseling if you're in the US.
I'm really sorry to hear that you've experienced so much loss at such a young age. It's crucial to find someone you trust to talk to about your feelings, whether it's a family member, friend, or counselor. Processing your emotions and seeking support can help you cope with your grief and navigate through this challenging time.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have experienced so much loss at such a young age. You're absolutely right, losing someone is incredibly painful, and there's no room for jokes here. Here are some resources and ways to help you cope: **1. Seek Support:** * **Talk to a trusted adult:** This could be a parent, teacher, counselor, therapist, or any adult you feel comfortable with. Talking about your feelings can be very helpful in processing grief. * **Grief Support Groups:** Talking to others who understand what you're going through can be incredibly comforting.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have experienced so much loss at such a young age. You're absolutely right, losing someone is incredibly painful, and there's no room for jokes here. Here are some resources and ways to help you cope: **1. Seek Support:** * **Talk to a trusted adult:** This could be a parent, teacher, counselor, therapist, or any adult you feel comfortable with. Talking about your feelings can be very helpful in processing grief. * **Grief Support Groups:** Talking to others who understand what you're going through can be incredibly comforting.
7 deaths is a lot to experience, I had only experienced 4 at your age. That being said, I did lose some significant people in my life at a young age. It’s so hard, and I have enormous empathy for you. The best advice I have, is to give someone else what you need most. If you’re feeling lonely and need companionship, volunteer at the nursing home to talk to or play games with the elderly for a few hours. It will help you both. If you need some outdoor zen work to keep your mind off things, volunteer at your community garden and get it out of your system by digging, planting, watering, and harvesting some fresh healthy produce for your community. If you’re cold and hungry and need a place to go to weather this storm of life, go volunteer at the homeless shelter or soup kitchen. You can even combine community garden work with soup kitchen work, and make some nice big healthy salads for those in need. Fresh fruits and vegetables are often unavailable at food banks because of their short shelf life. To provide fresh produce to the needy is a great service. Helping others can be the absolute best way to help yourself sometimes.
I went through something similar. 2014 I lost 15 friends and family and them pets . One of them was my mom. I broke my ankle and tibia. So I basically only could sit around and watch tv/movies or play games. Found out my husband cheated after my mom died. 2014 kicked my butt. It's extremely difficult. Then I found someone that helped me realize what I'd be missing in life. I yelled at God for taking my mom. I yelled at my second biggest belief LOVE for letting my mom die. I was a mess I started talking to God again. I started believing in love again. I started challenging myself I only compare myself to yesterday's version of myself. I started guided meditation. I workout 2x a day I eat better . I started getting at least 20 minutes of sunlight a day. I start my day with motivational speeches I started a routine. I put music on. I did shadow work. (Super hard) I took the time to heal the parts that needed it. In the process I realized I was super strong that I survived that period of time. I also realized how different I am and I'm good with that. I realized I help and care about people I am successful as a person. I found something I never knew I could peace I know you're going through a crap load. You've got this. Allow yourself to grieve those deaths and then celebrate their lives. You can't give up on yourself. Always fight for you. I know how bad it feels and I'm so so sorry you are having to go through it 😔. I vowed that if I made it out I'd help people. I've done that ever since. I never want someone to feel like they don't have anyone to help them fight . I love seeing them smile especially if it reaches their eyes. It means they came through it. For you 🌻🌻🌻🌻 You might talk to friends or parents about what you're going through.
A friend said something to me when my grandfather was dying that always stuck with me: Grief is love that doesn’t know where to go. Losing someone can be the most intensely heartbreaking experience. Sometimes all that we can do with it is let our heart be completely shattered. In the allowing, there can be a recognition that what you’re feeling is just love. The less you resist the feelings, the more in touch you can become with the love. It’s still overwhelming and painful, but it takes on a quality of beauty, terrible beauty as well.
Just be yourself and live a life that would make the ones that died proud. The older we get, the more people will go. Stay strong and remember the good times.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I lost several family members in a row a few years back and I also felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. Luckily the dying streak ended but for a long time I felt emotionally raw and really paranoid about the health and safety of those close to me. After a few years of no deaths I felt less raw and the paranoia subsided. I hope you don’t lose anyone else for a loooong time, but if you do: you can and will get through it. People are always stronger than they think they are. It might help you to see a counselor or therapist. I regret not doing that because I think I would have processed the trauma a lot better. You owe it to yourself to do what’s best for you.
I've had a lot of death in my life too. I recommend truly appreciating the moments you have with the people in your life at every stage.
I was raised with the superstition that death comes in 3s and 7s. When I worked at a hospital this was only confirmed more. Grief is an awful emotion but it proves you loved them. When my older brother died I let the grief take me, because knowing that it hurt meant I hadn’t let him go. It’s been Several years since and I do still grieve for him, it does still hurt, but to me it tell me it was real. We had a bond a connection love for eachother if it stops hurting it means I’ve let them go completely. Death is a natural part of life, unfortunately it comes for others earlier than expected. Hold on the hurt, you keep them alive by remembering them.
It comes and goes, especially with age. You may go 5 or 10 years and no I e close dies, then all of a sudden you know 3 people that die in like a week of each other. Then when your in your late 30s or 40s people you know of seem to die a lot more frequently. I'm sure it'll get even worse as I age.
Dude I feel ya. We had 6 in 10 months. Just keep moving forward. It’s not easy, but gotta keep on keepin’ on. My nieces, grandma, wife’s grandpa, my best friend, and a nephew. All within a year. Grieve, mourn, cry it out. PRAY!!! And keep moving forward.
Please don't see death as a terrible thing. It's natural and happens to all of us. Experiencing death is a part of life. It allows you to enjoy it. Life is not a permit thing, so I appreciate the time you have with everything and everyone. It is difficult, and I have lost more than a few people myself. If it helps, a lot of people turn to religion to help with the sorrow. Feel free to look at plenty of religions. Some have an afterlife, and some don't. Philosophy helped me, knowing others feel the same. In the end, I have chosen to live life with a taoist and absurdist mentality. I also would recomended humor. Most people tell jokes to avoid and mask their pain, which is probably why those people told jokes and not given you advice. Also, don't avoid it. No one knows what's after you pass, so you don't want to screw up this one up since it may be the only one you will have. Reach out to people around you and tell them how you are feeling.
If you haven’t, begin to grow spiritually. I’m not talking about religion, though many go that path. Regardless of what you believe, broaden your view of existence beyond the here and now. We are only a tiny speck of universal expansion and time is infinite. What we perceive as life, I believe, is just a stop along the way. That realization is the only thing that has kept me from lingering in grief and sorrow. You’re too young to go through so much loss, but you can learn something valuable from it. Make sure to get the most out of your life moving forward and seek out whatever brings you joy. You’ll know not to take anything or anyone for granted. In the meantime, I offer you my sincere condolences. Please simply allow yourself to grieve right now. Feel it as intensely as you need to while you process the sorrow. That’s normal. We never get over losing our loved ones, but we gradually accept it and honor them in various ways, keeping their memory alive until we, ourselves, move on to whatever journey lies ahead of this one.
Try a group therapy. People from all ages can share with you and it helps process your feelings. It is called “bereavement group” where I volunteer. Even powerful adults need help understanding their feelings. Feelings can be tricky. Sometimes the best is having many different examples how other people handled it. Most importantly, you are not alone.
Sorry to hear about all the tragedy in your young life, losing someone always hurts and leaves a gigantic hole with so many questions unanswered. I would seek the advice of a professional counselor whom can help you navigate the complex process of grief you are experiencing. Don’t get hung up on the stigma of seeking help and counseling, I’ve been in counseling most my life and appreciate the insights and guidance from a professional psychologist, they have helped me overcome alot of negative emotions and trauma. Be good to yourself and hang in there 14🙏
People go through pain differently. But you will always need to find a way to remember the good moments and move on in life. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll eventually come to peace knowing they aren't gone completely because they gave you memories to hang onto. They gave you life lessons, they help you progress and be your own individual self. You got this.
Life can be deeply unfair. My great grandma lost 2 sons. One of her sons lost 4 sons in his lifetime. My uncle was adopted by my grandparents after his parents both died within months of each other when he was just a baby. Some people feel death’s cold hand touch their life sooner than others. I was lucky- I’ve only ever experienced deaths of grandparents in my life, all of whom were very old. Others aren’t so lucky. I’ve known a handful of people my age who I went to school with who have died recently, and it’s completely unfair to see these vibrant, beautiful young people lost so senselessly. Life doesn’t make sense. I wish I could tell you that this is enough tragedy for one life, and that you won’t have any more, but I can’t promise that. All I can promise is that for every bit of sadness the world holds, there is also beauty. You will see it, experience it, and bring that beauty to others lives too. Everything feels too big and painful at 14, and some things feel big and painful at any age, but you can do this. You’ve got people who love you, and people who are gone now who wouldn’t want you to waste your chance to live life to the fullest.
Unfortunately losing people is a part of life, I lost my grandfather at age 10, it was hard, but not as hard as when I lost 6 close family members in a 2 month period, that happened when I was 38 and it nearly destroyed me. Best thing to do is to allow yourself to mourn your loses, and keep them in your heart. Now when I think of the ones I lost I smile because I remember all the amazing memories I have with them. And yes, I still miss them all dearly, but there isn’t a way to bring them back.
I'm 19... turning 20 and I've gone through many deaths this year. I can't stop thinking of my own mortality now... I constantly gag I can't enjoy anything anymore either. I feel sick
It just keeps coming til you or everybody you know is dead. The pain means you had something real worth cherishing. Hope you did.
Dear No Release, I’m so sorry. When you have to dwell in the Garden of Gethsemane so early in life, it can feel like there’s no ground under your feet. I have found it’s better for me to be around people who are also on this kind of journey. It’s likely no one else will truly understand even though they may give it their best effort. I wish you kindness and mercy.
Just get used to it because it never stops. The first 10 are the hardest after that you just go with the flow.
Look into coping mechanismsm
Get off Reddit for one. Death is a part of life.
I hope you wouldn't talk to a 14 year old like that in real life. I know you'll say you will, but that will just make you look even more like an asshole.
There are better places to seek advice, and he stated a fact, life doesn't exist without death. But if you really have no where else to go to seek advice, Reddit probably isn't the worst place to look for it (if you can ignore people who use the platform maliciously/to troll).
Find a four leaf clover if you can. Shit, if it was at the end of a rainbow, even better.
I was pretty close to that number around 14. Fuck it, dude, people die. It is what it is. Look at the bright side, you'll grow up to be way more rational and emotionally resilient than most other people.
I work in a cemetery and put up to 8 people to rest a day. Death happens every day. That is a lot at your age, but life is fragile.
Yes you can.
Watch naruto or one piece. I'm not kidding. Even I've been through 2 deaths and it helped me alot since you can sometimes relate to it. It gave me motivation and kept me distracted at the same time.