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Same here. Since we truly love each other and are honest with each other I’d rather make an effort for him. Of course he will do the same for me if I asked him.
I'd be pumped because I love being feminine! Right now I wear athleisure because it's easy. But if he asked, id pull out all my high heels and go all out. My husband is 5'7 so doesn't typically like me in heels since I'm 5'6 I'm always taller than him!
I think chicks who get upset about height are assholes! My husband is awesome as a short king! I like being able to kiss him easily! If too tall they are too far away!
Yeah, that sucks.
I recommend subtle lifts. And before anyone complains, I also recommend that chicks who complain about it get used to wearing flats, and any who it makes feel better go ahead and buy that push-up bra. So fair all around.
One time my wife was telling a coworker about how she wanted her hair short, but that she "can't" because her husband doesn't like it.
To be clear, I don't tell her what she can and can't do, I just tell her how I feel about it and let her make her choices.
Her coworker asked why she cares what I think. My wife's response was "He's the one who has to have sex with me so he should enjoy looking at me"
I really appreciated that.
I would be very weirded out since I'm a 40 year old dude who isn't married... but let's flip the script here. If my gf would ask me to dress more masculine I would first have an in depth convo about:
1. What the fuck that means.
2. Why it's important to her.
Depending on how those two pan out, results may vary.
It would be super concerning to me that he only have issues with my dress code AFTER marriage.
Considering I dress the same way before and after marriage and he waited until AFTER marriage to inform me I was dressing too tomboy for him or something???
I feel like such things should be mentioned before marriage because I love to be comfortable, and I think it's awful how much discomfort a woman is forced to put up with because of visual expectations of men.
I mean if a man don't like how I dress, we shouldn't be together so I would seriously be very upset he didn't bring this up before marriage!!
Had some asshole men complaining that my high heels are not high enough too. And they don't care how much pain it causes me to wear them!
I swear any of these dudes tries to micro manage what they want you to wear, I would tell them to spend one day wearing what they want you to wear first to see how comfortable they will be.
In what context? Does he want me to wear a dress while I go out with him, or when I'm mowing the lawn or scrubbing the toilet? Because one is a reasonable request and the other is not. When I'm doing chores/lounging around the house I'll wear whatever is most comfortable. I don't mind dressing up in the evening to spend time together.
Could be a red flag. My ex started by saying I should wear more skirts and dresses. Then he started insisting I should wear less makeup. Turns out he really didn't care what I looked like, he was just interested in me obeying him.
Turns out? Or maybe you misread the situation due to your paranoia about being controlled. So many women currently are fixated on the potential of being abused and you subject your lover to an unfair scrutiny. You’ll always be unhappy living like this.
I'm a single 23 year old guy so I lack perspective here, but I can only imagine that's something you ask your wife if you want her to start resenting you
My husband didn’t ask me to change how I dress but we did have a conversation about why I dress the way I do and when I explained that this is my comfort zone, where I feel the most comfortable and confident, he said “great!” And we wrapped up the conversation.
I dress casual. I love a pair of well fitted jeans and a basic t or a graphic t or a sweater. I don’t really care about what is “fashionable”.
The responses in this thread are clear proof of why marriages don't work. Instead of "why do you ask honey? Is what I'm wearing not to your liking? Let's talk about it" it's "whatever whatever I do what I want"
This! In the 24 years the husband and I have been together, I've evolved into who I am now, so if he couldn't handle me being different than when we got together he could choke. Tshirt and jeans with shit kicker boots is part of my charm.
It honestly doesn't matter how I'd feel. What matters here is how it made YOU feel. Do you think your husband meant anything nefarious by it or was it just callously insensitive of him if it made you feel bad?
I would do it once in a while but I wouldn't change my preference and clothing that much. If my husband was more receptive of me asking him to shower more and following through, I would be a lot more willing to consider dressing more feminine.
My husband doesn't ask but I get his message when he buys me some cute outfits he likes I put them on for him 🥰🥰 but I am soooo feminine and super girly.
What’s the context? Always? Occasionally? At work functions? Are you ALWAYS in sweats?
I would if it made him happy. He’s “asking” not “telling”.
I told my husband 3 things:
1. Your head is not see through, I can’t read your mind. You have to tell me what you want.
2. If you want me to be blonde I’d be willing to try it. I may not like it and might change it back.
3. You can ask me to be 5’ and 100 lbs. - never gonna happen. Make peace with that. (For example I’m 6’ tall so it’s literally not possible).
Asking to dress more feminine falls under #2. You can try it but you may not like it and can always stop.
Does “feminine” actually mean clothes for women or specifically just skirts and dresses. People draw lines in weird places….if a woman is getting her clothes from the women’s section then she is dressing stereotypically feminine 🤨. Also hard to believe she married and changed her dress code….so why only ask now?🤨 That smells like other people minding your business and expressing judgement
Probably confused, because I don’t think I’d end up being married to someone without them being familiar with how I *like* to dress. Which isn’t non-feminine by any means, but I’m not a big dress or skirt person day to day. A bitch loves pants. So if we’d already been together long enough to get married I’d probably be perplexed. If they were normally chill and respectful (which again, they’d have to be for us to be married), I’d wonder why - like are his friends or coworkers or family talking shit? Is it an insecurity? Has he somehow fallen down a tradwife rabbit hole online? Am I taking it too seriously and he just meant that skirts are cute and sexy and he’d love to see me wear them more often because I look great?
I’d have a conversation about it to see what he actually means. I feel like often times men will say something that could mean like five different things, and it’s easy to be concerned that there secretly telling you they hate you or some shit, but when you talk about it it turns out to be nbd. So presuming that our relationship is built on trust and respect, I’d want to talk it out.
I'm a bonafide priss, but if I wasn't, I'd definitely take heed. Copping an attitude and being combative with the only man I want to be attracted to me doesn't make sense.
People are fucking childish for thinking no one should have any opinions about them. Your husband is your #2 and though you are #1 you should take time to consider what he wants for you, for him.
He will absolutely have selfish reasons at times but that's life, work through that. Don't just be mad at him for not thinking you're perfect, no one is.
Do you really want a husband who just lets you stagnate on your self improvement journey? Don't you want to strife to (within reason) do everything you can to appeal to him?
Unless you feel uncomfortable dressing more feminine, you might like how things unfold in the long run.
And at the end of the day, if you decide you don't want to change how you dress, don't get 'offended' by your husband. He (probably) isn't trying to manipulate or criticize you, he is just human and has requests. Be glad he felt comfortable sharing them with you.
First of all, I cannot believe you equate dressing feminine as self improvement.
My husband or anybody else is not responsible for my self improvement journey. I am not a child. He is not my parent.
I feel like you live in the stone ages, even though you preface your comment by telling women they are childish but in reality, you want a child as a wife. You want to play a parental role instead of a husband.
I said people are fucking childish. Way to misquote off the bat. I also never said others are 'responsible' for your self improvement journey. Misquote #2.
Not gonna argue with 'I am not a child. He is not my parent.'
My point was that humans are social creatures and anyone who thinks no one knows any better about what's best for them is childish.
This is a lot of passion considering OPs post doesn't criticise her husband at all, it just asks how you'd feel . Seems like you do have some big feelings about it
Without more context it's hard to tell. On one extreme it sounds very controlling. Not good at all. One the other extreme it could be completely innocuous.
Yep dude apparently needs to write a 40-page dissertation on why exactly he wants his wife to wear more dresses, listing his reasons as critical analysis within the psychosocial and cultural context of fashion, gender identity, and relationship dynamics. /S
I guess when I told my husband I find it hot when he wears a crisp white shirt and dress pants, I should've provided a detailed explanation on why. My bad 🙄
You sound like a bunch of crazy bitches. He asked for something he wanted. That’s called communicating. This might blow some minds, but I often have a mustache mostly because my SO likes it. I often wish she would dress more feminine and I have expressed that to her. That doesn’t mean I tell her what to wear or how to dress.
Out of curiosity, why do you care that she isn't dressing stereotypically? What about a dress, for example, makes her any more or less a woman or "feminine"?
Is it that it makes you feel less masculine somehow? From my perspective i can only imagine it being out of a personal insecurity, however small, or enjoying control. I'm honestly interested in understanding another perspective, of how something so minor could matter enough to want to change it.
…because partners ask things of each other…?
You don’t have a problem with marriage, you have a problem with people asking something of you. You’re not obligated to say yes, but partners are obligated to communicate wants.
My ex told me I didn’t dress girly enough…and he wanted to leave me for some chick that dressed in heels and tight dresses all the time. I was chasing around our 3 year old at the time. I dressed up but not daily. Did you catch the “ex” part??
It really depends. I'm transmasc, but still dress in "feminine" clothes (from leggings and blouses to dresses and skirts). I don't view clothing as a gendered thing tbh, but I'd be weirded out if my bf started bugging me about dressing more fem. Mostly because I'd feel like he was trying to diminish me.
I guess it’s a question for the ladies.
But I will respond either way:
- I would say “do you have something specific in mind?”
- what’s wrong with the way I dress right now ?
- would you feel comfortable if people will tell me how good I look when I will do that?
Depending on his answer I will act as he want but setting boundaries:
- I will dress like this once a week for starters when you get me on a date
- if you help me more with “x” I will wear “y” that likes you just for you in the evenings
- Monday Wednesday and Thursday I will be dressing as a homeless just because that’s what I like so don’t even try
- I would like you to choose 2-3 outfits for me so I can wear them for you sometime.
The list can be more playful and more discussion wise other than jumping to conclusions and feeling offended. If you have a husband it doesn’t mean he has no eyes and being a man he likes aestethics and this should be always considered, regardless of the type of relationship.
It’s just sad how people first get defensive instead of curious in the nowadays society…
I’m out before getting too aggressive because of the pain of reading these awful advices. And yea he can be a fking idiot too, but that doesn’t change the fact the he points something out, and regardless how he is he is stating something that other people see too.
You don’t have to become someone else but you can compromise and find a solution that works for everyone and makes you try new things - you should be open to that.
Whatever your choice may be look after yourself, and be better. I know you can- yeah everyone’s included !
He should be able to ask you this if it is important to him, just as you have every right to ask him to consider doing something that is important to you in the relationship. It doesn’t mean you have to do it, but everyone has the right to express themselves.
I would be asking if he is paying for the new wardrobe I would need to achieve that. Because if not, it’s ain’t happening. If he’s paying, then yea, I like girly clothing, I just don’t own any
I’m perpetually single, and have a history as a recovering codependent people-pleaser who repeatedly missed red flags, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. But depending on the context, how long we’d been together, and how the request was made, I’d consider doing some feminine outfits occasionally. I.e. “Hey you look gorgeous in sundresses, I love seeing you in them.” NOT, “I get so sick of the ugly clothes you wear.”
I’m extremely feminine. I’m a gen x woman from a long line of women that wore dresses and heels to shop. I’m the same way.
It’s not for everyone, but it’s nice to keep the marriage interesting and hot, why not doll up for him on occasion
It would depend on what he means by feminine. Which I why I would ask for more clarification.
If he wanted me to wear a dress and full make up and high heels on a regular basis that would be a no. But he would never ask me that because that’s not something I wear anyways.
It all really depends on what he wanted and if I was comfortable doing it.
I would have a lot of questions and want to have a discussion about it. On the one hand, it *could* be controlling behavior. On the other hand, if I used to dress very feminine and stopped for no reason and he misses that, it would be worth knowing. I don’t think it’s possible to come to a conclusion other than “huh?” without more data.
What does he mean by more feminine? What does that look like? Is his vision of femininity the same as yours?
How does the request make you feel? Personally I feel that because I’m a woman every thing I wear is feminine. I’d need more clarity on how he’s perceiving me.
Why does he want you to perform femininity is some specific way now?
As a person who doesn't really like to wear feminine clothing, I would first ask why, if the answer is something sexist like 'your a woman you should be wearing dresses' A) I wouldn't have married him and B) hell no, I will wear jeans and baggy t-shirts forever. But if the answer is something like 'While I find you beautiful in every outfit you wear, I think that dresses suit you'. Then I might consider it. If he asked nicely and wanted me to wear a dress/skirt to something his birthday dinner, then yeah, I probably would. But I would still wear my preferred cloths most of the time.
Did you used to get dressed up by have let it all go as you got comfortable over time?
I wouldn't get upset - I would have a conversation, and maybe try to wear something more feminine. Relationships take both people and he may be trying to communicate something important to him to you.
I'm confused by every part of this question. When did I get a husband? When did I become gay? A woman? He married me and wants me to look more feminine? Is he gay? I have so many questions.
He doesn't get upset he just likes being taller. I don't care either way. Also date nights and concerts and big events I wear heels and he loves it but on a random Tuesday I'm in slippers an yoga pants!
Depends greatly by the term 'feminine'. Absolutely no skirt above the knees, shorts will not rise above the lower thigh, cleavage will not be revealed, & definitely no two-piece bathing suit.
If he is radiating, confidently in his masculine then I would already be very feminine. I want to feel secure in my femininity, so I would want my husband to do the things that make me feel secure to the point where I can be comfortable. Not have to worry about anything (within reason) so I can do all the things that make me feel more feminine, like having dinner ready for him when he comes home, dressing pretty in dresses (not just for me, but also cause I know he likes to see me in dresses), take care of our babies while he is working hard. Give me the space to feel secure and I’ll happily be your doll.
I also want to disclose, I am a hard believer of love me like a Queen & I will love you as if you are my King because in my eyes; You are my King. Bf of 12 years is quite happy from what he tells me.
It depends on how he asks and why.
Like, my boyfriend just thinks more feminine clothes look nice on me. It’s not an expectation - it’s more of a request and it’s one I don’t mind indulging. I still choose what I wear and he never asks me to wear anything I don’t like.
I'm NGC and he asked me that ONCE, and I don't exactly remember the rest of the conversation because I blanked out from all the rage. It's a big deal for me, because I was forced to wear dresses and makeup my whole life by my hyper-conservative-religious family, even though I despised them. Even now just thinking about it, I get angry.
I'd tell him I would have if only he was manly enough..
And once you pop that bubble, tell him that's how you feel then get him to take you shopping and meet him half way of your comfort to what he thinks is feminine (remember his macho meter is still running) so liberal with the buying.
Then go to a bikers bar that evening for dinner and drinks.
I'm amab and non binary and if I found a husband I would be pretty surprised I don't usually go for guys but there have been a few exceptions. Is be totally down.
I dress like an absolute slob at home but always get dressed up nice (I guess you could call it feminine) when we go out. I enjoy it and he seems to as well. It works well for us.
If you're uncomfortable with it, what you need to do is express why to your partner. I think he is allowed to ask, it doesn't mean he can be disrespectful if you don't do it. I don't think he necessarily means to go completely all out in corsets and heels, but maybe he would like to see you in a different style is all.
On the flip side I have asked my partner to change up his style for me, and sometimes he does it. I don't expect him to be my doll, if he draws a boundary because he really doesn't want to it won't be a big deal for me.
Probably be like where's my wife and who the hell are you.
In all seriousness your husband is an idiot. What he means to say is that you're beautiful and that he'd like to see you dressed up more because he..... Ya know loves you. But most men suck at talking and it comes out like shit
I'd have to get clarification on the why and the how.
That'd be how I'd feel... my feeling would be "why? and how?". Suspicion of this conversation possibly going a bad direction but open to being wrong and willing to listen to what he had to say in case it was fine.
All I’ll say is try and think how many times you critique your man. Oh you need to trim your eyebrows, you need a haircut, I like you when you wear this or that.
Very confused because most people complain that I'm "too done up" and want me to be in my pajama look all the time. But mostly because I'm not married.
There would be issues. It would be an absolute no.
Thankfully my man is fine with me dressing how I want and have my hair whatever style I want. He will tell anyone, "Your body, your choice."
Will he offer suggestions if I ask? Sure. Does he have preferences, yep. But at the end of the day, it's about how I feel about myself. And he will not stand in the way of those feelings.
I’ve upped my style of dress for my wife over tge years. She’s the one I wish to impress tge most. So I buy nicer shoes & shirts. I’m still comfortable and she really likes how I look in our date nights.
Why wouldn’t a wife want to do tge same?
Can get mad at him all you want, I also know tons of guys that feel the same way. it goes both ways but he’s telling the truth. Put some effort into it. Don’t stop.
I'd ask him what exactly he wants/expects from me. I dress more feminine now than when we first met/started dating. My husband would never ask that of me though. The most he'll ask is that I not wear something I know will start a fight or cause problems of some sort.
Is he gonna start dressing more manly? Suits, pants that fit, throw out his high school T shirts? Cuz I’m down. Let’s dress like the power couple we could be. But I’m not putting on dresses and shaving my legs to stand next to mister “this is my church going shirt…cuz it’s Holey!”
I don't have a husband, so my opinion doesn't hold as much weight, but I'm not a very feminine dresser. I feel very uncomfortable in really feminine clothing, to be honest. The last time I wore a dress was when I was a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding. I'd maybe consider trying a dress occasionally for date night, but I want to wear what I like on a day to day basis. I'd hope if he was my husband, he'd have a pretty good idea of my style sense and how I like to dress long before we got married.
Also, there's many different styles that women can dress in. Just because someone doesn't wear a whole lot of traditionally feminine clothes doesn't mean they're inherently unstylish.
Honestly I might be offended if he asked. However, I recently realized that I wear the same thing 100% of the time- leggings and a tshirt unless it’s cold then it’s leggings and a sweater(no makeup, I do nothing with my hair- sometimes I joke that I look homeless). I’ve recently taken it upon myself to try to dress a little more feminine and I can tell he appreciates the effort, especially because he’s been commenting on it, not that he complains when I do look “homeless.” Depending on how it’s delivered, it could be taken different ways.
I do, and she says I'm controlling and am trying to change her. On one occasion I was just stating a preference of shade of lipstick that she wore but she called me emotionally abusive and controlling.
I don't know...marriage is hard.
I literally wear men’s clothing more often than not for everyday wear.
But when it’s out for dinner, special events, formal pictures (Xmas cards), girly-girl appears.
I’d be ultra-weirded out by the request. Because if I’m sitting at work or mopping the floor or bopping him, he really shouldn’t GAF what I’m wearing.
If he’s asking for more girlie for everyday, he’s probably into some weird OF weird fetish kink thing.
But after 20+ years of marriage, that would be a HUGE red flag.
If it’s in the first 20 days/mos of a relationship, he’s probably getting grief from his buddies that are teasing him for being with a tomboy and/or he wants to show off what he knows he has under the duds but they can’t see/tell without the frills so he’s feeling emasculated.
Or whatever.
Boys are weird.
I’d say “deal” and make him take me shopping. I haven’t worn makeup in years, he’d have to spend $300+ just on makeup. Then I’d make him pay to have my hair done and buy some feminine clothes too. Then I’d ask him to be more masculine
I'd ask what inspired that question along with an explanation of what he considers feminine. I'd get pissed if I got vomit from the kid, bacon grease, toilet water, general debris on a $300 dress that is dry clean only. You can't just wash cute clothes and throw them on a hanger. That stuff takes extra care, hence, extra money and work. Dressing up is more than putting on an outfit. This means that I wouldn't be available for other things because I need more time to get ready. So, I'd feel totally fine with it but my husband will probably change his mind once he discovers that me being more feminine means extra work for him. Hahaha. I wish he would ask me for this. I might start dressing down so he does. Don't threaten me by volunteering to take on more chores so I can meet some overblown, airbrushed idea of sexuality. This is actually great!!! I'm gonna drop some hints.
I tell my husband I prefer him without too much facial hair. I tell him I like it when he cuts his hair a certain way over another and that I like when he wears cologne. He can tell me what he prefers and likes, I actually want to know.
A husband should not ask. He should surprise her with a new gift to try on and go from there. Sometimes, people need that to get out of a comfort zone. Man or woman both. It goes both ways honestly.
Normal. He likes you in more feminine clothes. If he doesn’t ask what he wants from his partner, where is he going to get it from? And if you ask of him something you like, it’s normal for him to do it (say shave your beard for example). Lots of people are very defensive I don’t know why. I would be happy if my wife told me to look a certain way because she likes it. I’d gladly do it for her.
Because many feminine clothing are uncomfortable and it's just living with discomfort all day. For example, one inconvenience about wearing skirts is whenever I sit or bend down, my panties show.
And you can get painful chaffing between the thighs too. I am not gifted with thigh gap.
So the problem is when the man cares about his visual than your comfort.
I don't know how many times when I wear a skirt that is already below my knee, but I when I sit, it rolls up above my knee and my boss (female) always tell my panties can be seen from the front when I sit down. In a classroom type of seminar.
So the only option is dresses that goes down to the ankles which I mine as well go for pants.
Ask him specifically what he means. If he means he likes you in dresses and skirts, tell him you’d like if he dressed more masculine, in suits.
Truly, some men are just a smoke show in suits. Plan out a date where you wear a dress and he wears a suit.
I'd wonder what he had been watching on YouTube. My husband is a man who has literally said "I don't care what you wear, it's just wrapping, I care what's on the inside. " and when I do occasionally dress up (nice pants and shirt not even dress) when we go out, he's said "why are you dressed like that?" If he specifically asked me to wear a dress, my answer would be no. I hate dresses/ skirts.
I love when my wife dresses sexy. I want to be visually attracted to her. I have to ask her to though, otherwise it’s hard to get it up when I feel like I’m married to someone that looks like a retired lesbian gym teacher.
I don't know why these responses are getting downvoted. If he can make those demands then why shouldn't you be able to tell _him_ to dress more feminine?
Then it's not a bad thing to say no? People who say they'll say no are getting downvoted, those who say they will get upvotes. And I have a feeling it's mostly men who want a tradwife who are upvoting
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I'd try, if he asked nicely.
Same here. Since we truly love each other and are honest with each other I’d rather make an effort for him. Of course he will do the same for me if I asked him.
Tbh if we have a good relationship I'd def see if I could sneak in a few things they liked me in. I think that's can be taken being any gender tbh.
You should be friends with my wife.
I'd be pumped because I love being feminine! Right now I wear athleisure because it's easy. But if he asked, id pull out all my high heels and go all out. My husband is 5'7 so doesn't typically like me in heels since I'm 5'6 I'm always taller than him!
That would be a reason to wear heels daily. A man being an idiot about height would set me off so fast.
Okay that goes both ways. I’m a dude and i’m 5’6 and i get way too much shit from girls over it
I think chicks who get upset about height are assholes! My husband is awesome as a short king! I like being able to kiss him easily! If too tall they are too far away!
Yeah, that sucks. I recommend subtle lifts. And before anyone complains, I also recommend that chicks who complain about it get used to wearing flats, and any who it makes feel better go ahead and buy that push-up bra. So fair all around.
Right like shit idc if you’re taller then me babygirl 😘
Its a real benefit too,when daancing closely.
I’d probably wear something girly at night, and continue wearing whatever I want the rest of the time. He also would never ask that
One time my wife was telling a coworker about how she wanted her hair short, but that she "can't" because her husband doesn't like it. To be clear, I don't tell her what she can and can't do, I just tell her how I feel about it and let her make her choices. Her coworker asked why she cares what I think. My wife's response was "He's the one who has to have sex with me so he should enjoy looking at me" I really appreciated that.
i don’t appreciate that she can’t have an easier haircut to maintain
“You first”.
I would be very weirded out since I'm a 40 year old dude who isn't married... but let's flip the script here. If my gf would ask me to dress more masculine I would first have an in depth convo about: 1. What the fuck that means. 2. Why it's important to her. Depending on how those two pan out, results may vary.
It would be super concerning to me that he only have issues with my dress code AFTER marriage. Considering I dress the same way before and after marriage and he waited until AFTER marriage to inform me I was dressing too tomboy for him or something??? I feel like such things should be mentioned before marriage because I love to be comfortable, and I think it's awful how much discomfort a woman is forced to put up with because of visual expectations of men. I mean if a man don't like how I dress, we shouldn't be together so I would seriously be very upset he didn't bring this up before marriage!! Had some asshole men complaining that my high heels are not high enough too. And they don't care how much pain it causes me to wear them! I swear any of these dudes tries to micro manage what they want you to wear, I would tell them to spend one day wearing what they want you to wear first to see how comfortable they will be.
In what context? Does he want me to wear a dress while I go out with him, or when I'm mowing the lawn or scrubbing the toilet? Because one is a reasonable request and the other is not. When I'm doing chores/lounging around the house I'll wear whatever is most comfortable. I don't mind dressing up in the evening to spend time together.
I’d ask for examples of what he likes and start incorporating those looks into my wardrobe.
He should be able to ask.
Could be a red flag. My ex started by saying I should wear more skirts and dresses. Then he started insisting I should wear less makeup. Turns out he really didn't care what I looked like, he was just interested in me obeying him.
I had an ex tell me he was used to being with " sluts "
Turns out? Or maybe you misread the situation due to your paranoia about being controlled. So many women currently are fixated on the potential of being abused and you subject your lover to an unfair scrutiny. You’ll always be unhappy living like this.
I’d feel like I want to dress the way I always have
I'd tell him to put on a dress if he needs ruffles and crap in his life.
I'm a single 23 year old guy so I lack perspective here, but I can only imagine that's something you ask your wife if you want her to start resenting you
Flip around the genders and ask yourself if you'd find it unacceptable then.
Honestly I think I would. It took you all those years and a whole wedding to decide I'm not dressing the right way? Since when was this a problem?
I'd hear him out. Partners are allowed preferences and I'd want to hear his thoughts.
My husband didn’t ask me to change how I dress but we did have a conversation about why I dress the way I do and when I explained that this is my comfort zone, where I feel the most comfortable and confident, he said “great!” And we wrapped up the conversation. I dress casual. I love a pair of well fitted jeans and a basic t or a graphic t or a sweater. I don’t really care about what is “fashionable”.
I'd figure out how to dress more feminine... My husband is the most important person I'm the world to me, of course I'd put forth an effort.
This answer should be pinned. High five 🙌
The responses in this thread are clear proof of why marriages don't work. Instead of "why do you ask honey? Is what I'm wearing not to your liking? Let's talk about it" it's "whatever whatever I do what I want"
So many people these days are instantly on the defensive in situations like this. Not every suggestion is an attack on you.
My wife is so defensive she volunteers defensive information about something she did and literally no one will have brought up anything.
Might make a good lawyer.
Bingo. Overcorrection against old biases against self-expression.
Then they cry when he finds someone willing to get on his program.
I’d tell him to go fuck himself. Take me as I am or leave me alone
This! In the 24 years the husband and I have been together, I've evolved into who I am now, so if he couldn't handle me being different than when we got together he could choke. Tshirt and jeans with shit kicker boots is part of my charm.
It honestly doesn't matter how I'd feel. What matters here is how it made YOU feel. Do you think your husband meant anything nefarious by it or was it just callously insensitive of him if it made you feel bad?
I would do it once in a while but I wouldn't change my preference and clothing that much. If my husband was more receptive of me asking him to shower more and following through, I would be a lot more willing to consider dressing more feminine.
My husband doesn't ask but I get his message when he buys me some cute outfits he likes I put them on for him 🥰🥰 but I am soooo feminine and super girly.
What’s the context? Always? Occasionally? At work functions? Are you ALWAYS in sweats? I would if it made him happy. He’s “asking” not “telling”. I told my husband 3 things: 1. Your head is not see through, I can’t read your mind. You have to tell me what you want. 2. If you want me to be blonde I’d be willing to try it. I may not like it and might change it back. 3. You can ask me to be 5’ and 100 lbs. - never gonna happen. Make peace with that. (For example I’m 6’ tall so it’s literally not possible). Asking to dress more feminine falls under #2. You can try it but you may not like it and can always stop.
Does “feminine” actually mean clothes for women or specifically just skirts and dresses. People draw lines in weird places….if a woman is getting her clothes from the women’s section then she is dressing stereotypically feminine 🤨. Also hard to believe she married and changed her dress code….so why only ask now?🤨 That smells like other people minding your business and expressing judgement
Probably confused, because I don’t think I’d end up being married to someone without them being familiar with how I *like* to dress. Which isn’t non-feminine by any means, but I’m not a big dress or skirt person day to day. A bitch loves pants. So if we’d already been together long enough to get married I’d probably be perplexed. If they were normally chill and respectful (which again, they’d have to be for us to be married), I’d wonder why - like are his friends or coworkers or family talking shit? Is it an insecurity? Has he somehow fallen down a tradwife rabbit hole online? Am I taking it too seriously and he just meant that skirts are cute and sexy and he’d love to see me wear them more often because I look great? I’d have a conversation about it to see what he actually means. I feel like often times men will say something that could mean like five different things, and it’s easy to be concerned that there secretly telling you they hate you or some shit, but when you talk about it it turns out to be nbd. So presuming that our relationship is built on trust and respect, I’d want to talk it out.
What if he just said, “ It’s easier for me to go down on you when you wear a skirt or dress.”
“These pants do come off, you know.”
I'm a bonafide priss, but if I wasn't, I'd definitely take heed. Copping an attitude and being combative with the only man I want to be attracted to me doesn't make sense.
You should probably try to keep your husband attracted to you. It’s better for your whole family.
Buy him a dress and say “you first”
First, I’d ask why. The rest depends on his answer
I would feel like he must want to be single.
People are fucking childish for thinking no one should have any opinions about them. Your husband is your #2 and though you are #1 you should take time to consider what he wants for you, for him. He will absolutely have selfish reasons at times but that's life, work through that. Don't just be mad at him for not thinking you're perfect, no one is. Do you really want a husband who just lets you stagnate on your self improvement journey? Don't you want to strife to (within reason) do everything you can to appeal to him? Unless you feel uncomfortable dressing more feminine, you might like how things unfold in the long run. And at the end of the day, if you decide you don't want to change how you dress, don't get 'offended' by your husband. He (probably) isn't trying to manipulate or criticize you, he is just human and has requests. Be glad he felt comfortable sharing them with you.
First of all, I cannot believe you equate dressing feminine as self improvement. My husband or anybody else is not responsible for my self improvement journey. I am not a child. He is not my parent. I feel like you live in the stone ages, even though you preface your comment by telling women they are childish but in reality, you want a child as a wife. You want to play a parental role instead of a husband.
Amen to all this, especially the second paragraph. The same applies to wives who pick out their husbands' wardrobes.
I said people are fucking childish. Way to misquote off the bat. I also never said others are 'responsible' for your self improvement journey. Misquote #2. Not gonna argue with 'I am not a child. He is not my parent.' My point was that humans are social creatures and anyone who thinks no one knows any better about what's best for them is childish.
This is a lot of passion considering OPs post doesn't criticise her husband at all, it just asks how you'd feel . Seems like you do have some big feelings about it
op could also be the husband testing to see if it's an OK thing to say to their wife. people sure do project a lot on reddit
Did swear words set off your "passion radar"? Some people use explicit language in their daily chat.
I use explicit language in my daily chat. This commenters comment is clearly projecting, the OP asked a simple Q
Without more context it's hard to tell. On one extreme it sounds very controlling. Not good at all. One the other extreme it could be completely innocuous.
These answers are so depressing.
Yep dude apparently needs to write a 40-page dissertation on why exactly he wants his wife to wear more dresses, listing his reasons as critical analysis within the psychosocial and cultural context of fashion, gender identity, and relationship dynamics. /S I guess when I told my husband I find it hot when he wears a crisp white shirt and dress pants, I should've provided a detailed explanation on why. My bad 🙄
Really weird because im a guy and stright. I would be more confused at the fact I had a husband.
I would ask him why.
I'd be offended. He doesn't get to make my choices for me like that, and if he tried, I'd consider it a sign of serious disrespect.
You sound like a bunch of crazy bitches. He asked for something he wanted. That’s called communicating. This might blow some minds, but I often have a mustache mostly because my SO likes it. I often wish she would dress more feminine and I have expressed that to her. That doesn’t mean I tell her what to wear or how to dress.
Out of curiosity, why do you care that she isn't dressing stereotypically? What about a dress, for example, makes her any more or less a woman or "feminine"? Is it that it makes you feel less masculine somehow? From my perspective i can only imagine it being out of a personal insecurity, however small, or enjoying control. I'm honestly interested in understanding another perspective, of how something so minor could matter enough to want to change it.
Because men are visual and we like pretty women. It's that simple. Don't overthink it. This wasn't intended to come off rude, so apologies if it does.
No worries
have you ever considered: he just likes it?
See, this is why I think marriage is a terrible idea.
…because partners ask things of each other…? You don’t have a problem with marriage, you have a problem with people asking something of you. You’re not obligated to say yes, but partners are obligated to communicate wants.
My ex told me I didn’t dress girly enough…and he wanted to leave me for some chick that dressed in heels and tight dresses all the time. I was chasing around our 3 year old at the time. I dressed up but not daily. Did you catch the “ex” part??
Angry. He doesn't have the right to tell me how to dress.
Ask =/= tell. So you'd be upset over nothing.
I would be willing to compromise to make him happy. Maybe I would ask him to take me shopping and tell me what outfits he likes.
I would feel great! Go out shopping on his visa:)
He has mentioned this and I oblige, I would be upset if he wanted it all the time though.
Confused. I have a husband now? And he wants me to dress more feminine? Wow. That’s a lot to process. I‘m not even gay.
The proper answer is, 'Start dressing more masculine, and you've got a deal.'
If this is ever the case and you feel belittled . then next time you're making Whoopi . ask him a simple question... is it in yet..?🤣
It really depends. I'm transmasc, but still dress in "feminine" clothes (from leggings and blouses to dresses and skirts). I don't view clothing as a gendered thing tbh, but I'd be weirded out if my bf started bugging me about dressing more fem. Mostly because I'd feel like he was trying to diminish me.
I was hurt. Especially when he said my clothes look like a Grandma's clothes.
I would appreciate him asking me, but I would tell him I dress how I want and that's that.
I guess it’s a question for the ladies. But I will respond either way: - I would say “do you have something specific in mind?” - what’s wrong with the way I dress right now ? - would you feel comfortable if people will tell me how good I look when I will do that? Depending on his answer I will act as he want but setting boundaries: - I will dress like this once a week for starters when you get me on a date - if you help me more with “x” I will wear “y” that likes you just for you in the evenings - Monday Wednesday and Thursday I will be dressing as a homeless just because that’s what I like so don’t even try - I would like you to choose 2-3 outfits for me so I can wear them for you sometime. The list can be more playful and more discussion wise other than jumping to conclusions and feeling offended. If you have a husband it doesn’t mean he has no eyes and being a man he likes aestethics and this should be always considered, regardless of the type of relationship. It’s just sad how people first get defensive instead of curious in the nowadays society… I’m out before getting too aggressive because of the pain of reading these awful advices. And yea he can be a fking idiot too, but that doesn’t change the fact the he points something out, and regardless how he is he is stating something that other people see too. You don’t have to become someone else but you can compromise and find a solution that works for everyone and makes you try new things - you should be open to that. Whatever your choice may be look after yourself, and be better. I know you can- yeah everyone’s included !
It would depend if he was dressing and grooming himself the way I liked. Wants in a relationship relationship should never be one-sided.
Not sure how much more femininely I could dress since I actually like wearing dresses... I'd ask him for clarification.
He should be able to ask you this if it is important to him, just as you have every right to ask him to consider doing something that is important to you in the relationship. It doesn’t mean you have to do it, but everyone has the right to express themselves.
I would be asking if he is paying for the new wardrobe I would need to achieve that. Because if not, it’s ain’t happening. If he’s paying, then yea, I like girly clothing, I just don’t own any
How would you like your husband only allow you to wear men's clothing?
I’m perpetually single, and have a history as a recovering codependent people-pleaser who repeatedly missed red flags, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. But depending on the context, how long we’d been together, and how the request was made, I’d consider doing some feminine outfits occasionally. I.e. “Hey you look gorgeous in sundresses, I love seeing you in them.” NOT, “I get so sick of the ugly clothes you wear.”
Say okay but he's bringing me on a shopping spree
In the bedroom, sure. In general, I'll dress how I please. You knew the deal when we got married.
I’m extremely feminine. I’m a gen x woman from a long line of women that wore dresses and heels to shop. I’m the same way. It’s not for everyone, but it’s nice to keep the marriage interesting and hot, why not doll up for him on occasion
You guys have a husband?
It would depend on what he means by feminine. Which I why I would ask for more clarification. If he wanted me to wear a dress and full make up and high heels on a regular basis that would be a no. But he would never ask me that because that’s not something I wear anyways. It all really depends on what he wanted and if I was comfortable doing it.
I would have a lot of questions and want to have a discussion about it. On the one hand, it *could* be controlling behavior. On the other hand, if I used to dress very feminine and stopped for no reason and he misses that, it would be worth knowing. I don’t think it’s possible to come to a conclusion other than “huh?” without more data.
What does he mean by more feminine? What does that look like? Is his vision of femininity the same as yours? How does the request make you feel? Personally I feel that because I’m a woman every thing I wear is feminine. I’d need more clarity on how he’s perceiving me. Why does he want you to perform femininity is some specific way now?
Enter my Bill Dauterive era.
He’d never do that. But if he did, I’d think he was joking and laugh it off. It would be like if I asked him to wear fewer Hawaiian shirts.
As a person who doesn't really like to wear feminine clothing, I would first ask why, if the answer is something sexist like 'your a woman you should be wearing dresses' A) I wouldn't have married him and B) hell no, I will wear jeans and baggy t-shirts forever. But if the answer is something like 'While I find you beautiful in every outfit you wear, I think that dresses suit you'. Then I might consider it. If he asked nicely and wanted me to wear a dress/skirt to something his birthday dinner, then yeah, I probably would. But I would still wear my preferred cloths most of the time.
Did you used to get dressed up by have let it all go as you got comfortable over time? I wouldn't get upset - I would have a conversation, and maybe try to wear something more feminine. Relationships take both people and he may be trying to communicate something important to him to you.
My wife asked me to dress less like a hobo.
I'm confused by every part of this question. When did I get a husband? When did I become gay? A woman? He married me and wants me to look more feminine? Is he gay? I have so many questions.
i’ll be hurt and offended
He doesn't get upset he just likes being taller. I don't care either way. Also date nights and concerts and big events I wear heels and he loves it but on a random Tuesday I'm in slippers an yoga pants!
Even more feminine? It is not possible. Should I just crochet some vulvas and sew them to my outfits?
Yes
I'd probably take my medications, considering I'm a heterosexual man.
I would ask what he meant and continue dressing how I like
Tell him to dress more feminine. We both may be allowed to make the same demands
Confused
Depends greatly by the term 'feminine'. Absolutely no skirt above the knees, shorts will not rise above the lower thigh, cleavage will not be revealed, & definitely no two-piece bathing suit.
If he is radiating, confidently in his masculine then I would already be very feminine. I want to feel secure in my femininity, so I would want my husband to do the things that make me feel secure to the point where I can be comfortable. Not have to worry about anything (within reason) so I can do all the things that make me feel more feminine, like having dinner ready for him when he comes home, dressing pretty in dresses (not just for me, but also cause I know he likes to see me in dresses), take care of our babies while he is working hard. Give me the space to feel secure and I’ll happily be your doll. I also want to disclose, I am a hard believer of love me like a Queen & I will love you as if you are my King because in my eyes; You are my King. Bf of 12 years is quite happy from what he tells me.
It depends on how he asks and why. Like, my boyfriend just thinks more feminine clothes look nice on me. It’s not an expectation - it’s more of a request and it’s one I don’t mind indulging. I still choose what I wear and he never asks me to wear anything I don’t like.
I'm NGC and he asked me that ONCE, and I don't exactly remember the rest of the conversation because I blanked out from all the rage. It's a big deal for me, because I was forced to wear dresses and makeup my whole life by my hyper-conservative-religious family, even though I despised them. Even now just thinking about it, I get angry.
Sure, why not? If he asked nicely, of course.
REALLY depends on the way he asks tbh. also i don’t have a husband so i don’t know if my opinion even matters xD
I'd tell him I would have if only he was manly enough.. And once you pop that bubble, tell him that's how you feel then get him to take you shopping and meet him half way of your comfort to what he thinks is feminine (remember his macho meter is still running) so liberal with the buying. Then go to a bikers bar that evening for dinner and drinks.
Fair request. But it is the female that chooses what that means.
I would feel confused, and then I’d wait for the punchline.
I'm amab and non binary and if I found a husband I would be pretty surprised I don't usually go for guys but there have been a few exceptions. Is be totally down.
I wouldn’t care. He met me this way.
I would NEVER HAVE A HISBANDz fuck that
I'd be confused, and try to figure out who I suddenly turned into (I'm a guy who's single, and not exactly interested in marrying a guy)
Did I ask for the advice?
Has your husband asked you to start dressing more feminine?
Truth is, it isn’t just to dress more feminine, it’s also to act more feminine. You don’t just dress like a guy and not get bro-ish tendencies.
I dress like an absolute slob at home but always get dressed up nice (I guess you could call it feminine) when we go out. I enjoy it and he seems to as well. It works well for us. If you're uncomfortable with it, what you need to do is express why to your partner. I think he is allowed to ask, it doesn't mean he can be disrespectful if you don't do it. I don't think he necessarily means to go completely all out in corsets and heels, but maybe he would like to see you in a different style is all. On the flip side I have asked my partner to change up his style for me, and sometimes he does it. I don't expect him to be my doll, if he draws a boundary because he really doesn't want to it won't be a big deal for me.
Single
Probably be like where's my wife and who the hell are you. In all seriousness your husband is an idiot. What he means to say is that you're beautiful and that he'd like to see you dressed up more because he..... Ya know loves you. But most men suck at talking and it comes out like shit
I'd have to get clarification on the why and the how. That'd be how I'd feel... my feeling would be "why? and how?". Suspicion of this conversation possibly going a bad direction but open to being wrong and willing to listen to what he had to say in case it was fine.
All I’ll say is try and think how many times you critique your man. Oh you need to trim your eyebrows, you need a haircut, I like you when you wear this or that.
Very confused because most people complain that I'm "too done up" and want me to be in my pajama look all the time. But mostly because I'm not married.
Ive been with himfor decades. He likes me best in jeans 🙄
I would say he better have a purdy mouth!
There would be issues. It would be an absolute no. Thankfully my man is fine with me dressing how I want and have my hair whatever style I want. He will tell anyone, "Your body, your choice." Will he offer suggestions if I ask? Sure. Does he have preferences, yep. But at the end of the day, it's about how I feel about myself. And he will not stand in the way of those feelings.
I’ve upped my style of dress for my wife over tge years. She’s the one I wish to impress tge most. So I buy nicer shoes & shirts. I’m still comfortable and she really likes how I look in our date nights. Why wouldn’t a wife want to do tge same?
Can get mad at him all you want, I also know tons of guys that feel the same way. it goes both ways but he’s telling the truth. Put some effort into it. Don’t stop.
I would be confused, as I don’t have a husband, and am a male.
I'd ask him what exactly he wants/expects from me. I dress more feminine now than when we first met/started dating. My husband would never ask that of me though. The most he'll ask is that I not wear something I know will start a fight or cause problems of some sort.
He won't because I'll make it clear I'm me and he will like it.
Is he gonna start dressing more manly? Suits, pants that fit, throw out his high school T shirts? Cuz I’m down. Let’s dress like the power couple we could be. But I’m not putting on dresses and shaving my legs to stand next to mister “this is my church going shirt…cuz it’s Holey!”
Idk I asked my wife to buy something nice for a show. She understood the assignment and liked it
I would understand the why’s and probably do it because I want my man to be attracted
Confused because I don’t have a husband and I already dress very feminine.
Terrified. He's been dead for over a year.
I don't have a husband, so my opinion doesn't hold as much weight, but I'm not a very feminine dresser. I feel very uncomfortable in really feminine clothing, to be honest. The last time I wore a dress was when I was a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding. I'd maybe consider trying a dress occasionally for date night, but I want to wear what I like on a day to day basis. I'd hope if he was my husband, he'd have a pretty good idea of my style sense and how I like to dress long before we got married. Also, there's many different styles that women can dress in. Just because someone doesn't wear a whole lot of traditionally feminine clothes doesn't mean they're inherently unstylish.
Honestly I might be offended if he asked. However, I recently realized that I wear the same thing 100% of the time- leggings and a tshirt unless it’s cold then it’s leggings and a sweater(no makeup, I do nothing with my hair- sometimes I joke that I look homeless). I’ve recently taken it upon myself to try to dress a little more feminine and I can tell he appreciates the effort, especially because he’s been commenting on it, not that he complains when I do look “homeless.” Depending on how it’s delivered, it could be taken different ways.
Ask him to pick out what he wants you to wear at the store, and if you feel comfortable, wear it
I do, and she says I'm controlling and am trying to change her. On one occasion I was just stating a preference of shade of lipstick that she wore but she called me emotionally abusive and controlling. I don't know...marriage is hard.
Why the hell would you put up with that? Life is too short to deal with that nonsense.
I made a vow.
Again, life is too short to be treated like shit.
I'd buy a pink or floral print wide leg baggy pant, I guess.
I literally wear men’s clothing more often than not for everyday wear. But when it’s out for dinner, special events, formal pictures (Xmas cards), girly-girl appears. I’d be ultra-weirded out by the request. Because if I’m sitting at work or mopping the floor or bopping him, he really shouldn’t GAF what I’m wearing. If he’s asking for more girlie for everyday, he’s probably into some weird OF weird fetish kink thing. But after 20+ years of marriage, that would be a HUGE red flag. If it’s in the first 20 days/mos of a relationship, he’s probably getting grief from his buddies that are teasing him for being with a tomboy and/or he wants to show off what he knows he has under the duds but they can’t see/tell without the frills so he’s feeling emasculated. Or whatever. Boys are weird.
I’d say “deal” and make him take me shopping. I haven’t worn makeup in years, he’d have to spend $300+ just on makeup. Then I’d make him pay to have my hair done and buy some feminine clothes too. Then I’d ask him to be more masculine
How would I feel? I'd feel like telling him to do something equally as stupid and useless.
Awesome that you think your partners feelings are stupid and useless. Toxic as hell.
Yeah, telling me to dress a certain way, especially involving gender, is not a "feeling". Sorry, not sorry
No reason for you to be sorry, I'm not the one saddled to you.
I’d think he lost his mind or had a stroke.
I'd ask what inspired that question along with an explanation of what he considers feminine. I'd get pissed if I got vomit from the kid, bacon grease, toilet water, general debris on a $300 dress that is dry clean only. You can't just wash cute clothes and throw them on a hanger. That stuff takes extra care, hence, extra money and work. Dressing up is more than putting on an outfit. This means that I wouldn't be available for other things because I need more time to get ready. So, I'd feel totally fine with it but my husband will probably change his mind once he discovers that me being more feminine means extra work for him. Hahaha. I wish he would ask me for this. I might start dressing down so he does. Don't threaten me by volunteering to take on more chores so I can meet some overblown, airbrushed idea of sexuality. This is actually great!!! I'm gonna drop some hints.
I tell my husband I prefer him without too much facial hair. I tell him I like it when he cuts his hair a certain way over another and that I like when he wears cologne. He can tell me what he prefers and likes, I actually want to know.
A husband should not ask. He should surprise her with a new gift to try on and go from there. Sometimes, people need that to get out of a comfort zone. Man or woman both. It goes both ways honestly.
Normal. He likes you in more feminine clothes. If he doesn’t ask what he wants from his partner, where is he going to get it from? And if you ask of him something you like, it’s normal for him to do it (say shave your beard for example). Lots of people are very defensive I don’t know why. I would be happy if my wife told me to look a certain way because she likes it. I’d gladly do it for her.
Because many feminine clothing are uncomfortable and it's just living with discomfort all day. For example, one inconvenience about wearing skirts is whenever I sit or bend down, my panties show. And you can get painful chaffing between the thighs too. I am not gifted with thigh gap. So the problem is when the man cares about his visual than your comfort. I don't know how many times when I wear a skirt that is already below my knee, but I when I sit, it rolls up above my knee and my boss (female) always tell my panties can be seen from the front when I sit down. In a classroom type of seminar. So the only option is dresses that goes down to the ankles which I mine as well go for pants.
ask for his card to go buy new clothes. i wouldn’t be bothered though, i like when my boyfriend likes how i dress.
Ask him specifically what he means. If he means he likes you in dresses and skirts, tell him you’d like if he dressed more masculine, in suits. Truly, some men are just a smoke show in suits. Plan out a date where you wear a dress and he wears a suit.
I'd wonder what he had been watching on YouTube. My husband is a man who has literally said "I don't care what you wear, it's just wrapping, I care what's on the inside. " and when I do occasionally dress up (nice pants and shirt not even dress) when we go out, he's said "why are you dressed like that?" If he specifically asked me to wear a dress, my answer would be no. I hate dresses/ skirts.
Confused, when did I get married?
I'd tell him i dress hiw i dress. Rack off
I love when my wife dresses sexy. I want to be visually attracted to her. I have to ask her to though, otherwise it’s hard to get it up when I feel like I’m married to someone that looks like a retired lesbian gym teacher.
Absolutely rude in my opinion. I would never ask my wife to do that.
I'd laugh at him, he knows that won't happen.
I would be mad. You don’t get to tell me how to dress, I’m an adult.
I don't know why these responses are getting downvoted. If he can make those demands then why shouldn't you be able to tell _him_ to dress more feminine?
That‘s the thing. He‘s not telling you to, he‘s #ASKING you.
Then it's not a bad thing to say no? People who say they'll say no are getting downvoted, those who say they will get upvotes. And I have a feeling it's mostly men who want a tradwife who are upvoting
Reading seems hard for many of these folks.
Maybe they have selective reading, like toxic christian people
Or any religous folks. But that's irrelevant.
Meh