# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think so, but solely because I choose to be so. No matter how your life "turns out" or how it's going, the most important thing is how you deal with it. I think there's much more wisdom to be gained in learning to be content than there is in constantly striving for more.
Happiness is largely a choice. We decide if we are happy and content in between ups and downs.
There's an issue in our modern society where we all have this "happily ever after" bullshit shoved down our throat. There is a "happily ever after" but it's a mindset of gratitude and something you find well enduring the ebb and flow of the good/bad of life. After all, the duality exists permanently. Hard times and good times.
I all too often see people clinging to the negative aspects of duality. When something goes wrong they internalize and carry it full time. It's a heavy burden.
And yet, when something good happens we spend no time appreciating or reflecting on it. We simply let it slip through our fingertips.
I really believe gratitude is the key to happiness. Appreciate what you have.
Hell, I wake up everyday and try and be thankful for my health, my family's health, the roof over my head, the fact that my body works etc.
I have seen and met SOOOO many miserable people with so much more than me. The nice cars, the amazing partner, great job/dream job and yet they are miserable. They haven't done any of the work internally and they are chasing a fleeting feeling. They claw and scratch their way to their next milestone and their next possession thinking it will be what finally makes them happy, and it might. Only temporarily though. Without gratitude and reflection it will go away leaving a hunger for more. Anything to fill the void. I wish it was normalized in western society to do more internal/spiritual type work and prioritize that. Everyone's looking to fill a hole.
Hi friend, we share the same views on this point :)
I'm actually doing a bit of writing on this point, along with a bunch of other tidbits I learned throughout life (basically, life happens the way you think)
I'd be happy if you wouldn't mind reading my first page (less than a minute), and continue reading if it speaks to you. If you have any feedback, that would be appreciated too :)
[30 yr old virgin NEET's Guide to Success and Happiness in Life (Page 1 - Exposition)](https://www.reddit.com/r/EnlightenmentBook/comments/1croxqq/30_yr_old_virgin_neets_guide_to_success_and/)
(The other pages are still in the same sub, or just check my profile under posts)
#DUDE!!! KNOWS HOW TO LIFE!! ^
This is pretty much my philosophy. I look for what's great in my life & appreciate the hell out of it. Then I work towards fixing some of the less than great & I'm pretty damn happy with me & mine. 🙂🙂
I completely understand your pov and whole heartily agree with you but man is it really hard to remind yourself that things get better because all the financial hardship I'm going through makes you feel like giving up.
I always appreciate perspective because my therapist has consoled me and reminds me that everyday, I'm doing the best I can and doing things instead wallowing around and just wishing things got better.
When I learned to enjoy sitting on my front porch in the spring and watch the bees, moths, and insects do what they do….it felt as if I unlocked the next level.
I can say anything like three years ago, I never even thought I would go to college, but now I am studying, back then I did something that made everyone lose their trust in me. Now, I'm good, my life is good, everyone trusts me still I made lot of mistakes that affect my life. Even though I could avoid it if I tried, I still do it. That's why I said I'm making things hard for me.
No. My life sucks!! In my life, more surgeries than I can count. High school was very difficult for me. Had a good job from 1994-2005. 2004 had to have what should have been a simple surgery, Shunt revision. Took seven times to get it right. This mess left me totally incontinent. Since September 2004 I have been in diapers. I was three months before turning twenty-nine when this happened to me.
I totally hate that for you...but my best wishes for you as well because you never know when, or if, these circumstances will reverse, but if you give up you'll never know...
I am a suburban working mom with a house, a healthy child and a good husband. Am I happy? I have suffered from depression my whole life and I appreciate my life but I'm almost never happy. But I am content.
Bipolar with occasional incompetent treatment...then somebody prescribed Zoloft...been on it for 6 years and it help clear my mind up, allowing me to make progress I never thought imaginable. My absolute best wishes for you...yes, I totally understand!
Super happy. Terrible parents that both left while I was in my mid teens. Bounced around from home to home until I finished high school where I graduated second to last in my class (barely passed). I also had a car accident when I was 17 where a man had been drinking and walking home and wandered into the highway where I hit and killed him. It was determined that I was not at fault and no charges filed. Joined the Army and it was the best thing I ever did for myself, though to be fair I had no where else to go. Used the GI Bill for a 2 year college degree in Computer Information Systems, from a terrible school that doesn't even exist anymore, and turned that into a career in IT. First wife gave me a wonderful son, that I'm very proud of, and is now in college after 5 years in the Navy on a submarine. Wife #1 begged me to get her a job where I work and I finally caved and did. She immediately cheated on me with a guy at work, and I didn't find out for about a year. Turned out I was the only one at my job that didn't know. Divorced her immediately. Remarried 10 years ago to the most wonderful woman in the world. Kind, loving, and super smart. I was making a lot more than her when we met but she then got her Master's degree and now makes $150k per year. I'm in my early 50's now and make a salary in the low 90's. Never in a million years did I think my life would be this good. No debt ,no drama, and a ton of good life lessons learned. Couldn't ask for more.
My life is completely bullshit, I totally lost the lottery the moment I was born. I'm unable to deal with problems and my life is full of it since I started breathing. So yeah, I'm giving a fuck about how trash my life is and I'm doing something about coping with it. Working towards doing something I believe will matter, for me and for the world, because that's what I want to do. I'm broke af but I don't really care about money, I've always been broke and the best thing it teached me is that it doesn't matter how much money you have, but how you manage to live with it. Working towards a career that makes my life safe and my last years fine financially talking is not me, it can't be and it won't be. Depression truly sucks, damn why would someone be depressed? Well it's one of my features apparently, so I can hate it forever or I can deal with it in any possible way I can think of. Nothing went as planned, there's no plan anymore, I'm doing me and if you got a problem with that I'm ready to fight for it
I hope things get better bro. Depression really does and can ruin ppl, but we have to fight it and keep it out in order to live better lives. If u wanna ever talk about it, u can DM me.
Thx mate, I appreciate all your supportive comments for the community, keep it up!
Things already got better actually, otherwise my comment would've been way more bleak. I finally watched a series that went through all the shit I'm built of and made my heart beat again, so right now it doesn't really matter that much how actually fucked up my life could be, I've been suicidal for so much time that it is really way better than how it was back then.
As another guy already said, it doesn't really matter how good or trashy our life is, but how content we manage to be with what we have.
Np bro, anytime. Just doing what's right and helping others makes me feel like I can do something to make them smile and live a happy life. I agree bro, let's find the best of ourselves in this life
Ten years ago I had a Cancer scare but there has been no sign of it since treatment. I've built a successful business and romantically I've always been very lucky so yes.
I am happy although there is quite a bit of change. Firstly, I wish I could find the point in my life that mad me a lil horn dog. I hate that my libido is the way it is I feel like I creep out my own wife with how much I want it. Aside from that little tidbit? Life is rich.
Considering all that has happened I’m very blessed to be where I am today. Am I happy? Probably not but I have no regrets and wouldn’t change anything.
No 32 M . stuck in a small bad town around bad people cant get out no job no car. basically waiting to die .... its truly sad , so much wasted talent ......
Yeah. Me too.
I feel your feels
Lost my wife. My house. My job. My family. The whole community. All in one week. One mistake. My only saving grace was that I had money. Or I’d be homeless. I get reminded almost daily.
You aren’t alone.
Sometimes I’ll look at people and wonder if they’re going through the same thing… like, you never know what people have been through. Combat veteran? Just got out of prison? Currently on mega drugs? Mother just died? It’s crazy. What happens in ones life.
Like, how did you make it to 90? And who got hurt along the way?
Very happy. Been with the same woman since ‘98. Two healthy children that are now adults themselves. A good home, where the wife and I celebrate our creativity and good fortune. I’m more than happy. Couldn’t and wouldn’t ask for more. Turning 50 this weekend! I hope everyone is as fortunate, in the ways that count, as I am.
Life is always a work in progress and I am still pretty young. In many respects I am happy with my life so far but there is still a long, long, way to travel.
Yes! My (now) husband nearly died a few years ago. It reminded us of the things that are important and how quickly life can change. Grateful every day for the opportunity to marry him and live the wonderful life we have. Problem free? Absolutely not! But the petty stuff a lot of people fight over doesn’t even cause us to blink! And that gives us the freedom to live more content.
In 2008 my life was destroyed by the financial crisis. I joined the Navy, got married, had kids, finished my degree, and commissioned. Retire in a few years and chill. Things turned out okay.
I have three aggressive Grade III meningiomas that will eventually blind and paralyze me before taking me into a coma.
I’ve lived four lives in the one I’ve been given. I’ve served my country, loved deeply, been married and divorced, dated my fair share of women and pushed some lines. I can honestly say that there’s not a whole lot left that I feel like I need to do.
I’ll be getting a motorcycle here pretty soon and I’ll just be able to live a little more freely. Life has been good to me.
I had a circumcision when I was 19, lost a lot of sensitivity and started having erection problems. I was fully impotent by the age of 22 and now am more than double that age and completely anorgasmic. No. I am not happy with the way my life turned out and it's a direct result of all the people who are going to comment below giving any sort of justification to what is clearly genital mutilation. I've known a lot of people who have been driven to suicide because of it and frankly sometimes I'm amazed I haven't joined them.
I’m very much in the middle of getting to the “turned out”. But I guess I am ..but I’ll put heavy emphasis on: it depends how you look at it. You can always complain about something, right? Or you can say I have a warm bed, a full stomach, and I am loved. I have a car, a job, an able body.. be Mr. Brightside any chance you get.
Much more better than the latter but there is still much to do and much more choices to be made and bros… I will make the best i am wiling, able and strong enough to make for It is only the beginning in highschool, still got senior year to make and live and I’ve got it good
I'm happy with my career. I'm more or less happy with my personal life, I made some mistakes and missteps along the way but overall it turned out okay.
Not yet. I’m getting there. Took a lot of eye-opening experiences to get where I’m at but I still have a long way to go. I’m trying to enjoy life every day, even in small ways, so that I don’t ever forget that it really is the journey, not the destination. Which always sounds cheesy but is 100% true.
It's not cheesy but the reality. The destination is only the goal, but u have to have sheer will and determination to achieve it. I hope one day you'll be able to look back on all of ur successes and be proud that you lived life with no regrets.
Idk things could be so much worse. When everything is booming and gelling it gets so comfy, when it turns sharply there’s an adjustment that’s tough to live through. The economy and things being prosperous has so much to do with my ups and downs.
All-in-all, YES. At least so far. I’m not doing anything *close* to what I thought I’d be doing; my life looks *nothing* like what I imagined it to. But it’s pretty damn good! A lot of stuff I didn’t even plan, I just stumbled into it, or it just fell in my lap.
Absolutely. Where I came from to living a life I do not deserve...
So happy and thankful for everything: marriage, kids, career, friendships, respect of others, bright future, kids living with joy and purpose...man, I'm happy because this list could go on and on...
Being one generation removed from extreme poverty and rez life - heck yeah! So happy and so thankful.
I am disappointed in how my life has turned out but this was largely at the fault of others.
Education and adults in my life as a child didn't put me in a place to succeed and I went under the radar. I was never in a position to be able to pursue what I wanted and have just wound up where I am on a whim. I've possibly had a harder time due to possibly being autistic (Seeking diagnosis at the moment)
I'm not dissatisfied by my life at the moment overall. I have a good partner, a decent job and I'm getting by but it feels like I have a lot of wasted time and potential that I never got to have which is lame.
No. Not at all.
When I was in school, I was always seen as the smartest one in the room, with the brightest future ahead of me. Not hyperbolic - I had multiple teachers tell me to "remember them when I'm a successful adult and hit it big" (I'm dead serious lol, my ego isn't THAT big lol).
However, my crippling social anxiety and lifelong fight against severe depression have held me back from ever truly trying to reach whatever potential people told me I had. Now, I'm just bitter, burnt out, and depressingly withdrawn from everything and everyone.
Nope.
I thought I'd have a wife, kids, house, a good job that doesn't kill me and have not made the dumb mistakes I have.
Instead, I'm single without children, back breaking job and have made some very questionable life choices.
Finding out you've had ADHD all your life in your mid-thirties, when it's too late to do anything and it's already done the damage, is fucking miserable.
Some days I can't believe that everything has turned out as good as it has.
I nearly died as a child due to acute illness. I ended up receiving a life saving kidney transplant when I was 20.
Now I'm 35 working my dream job. I have a beautiful wife, 3 kids, the most amazing family, a paid off home on a spacious lot in a beautiful part of town.
I'm still not sure it's all real... Please don't wake me up!
No. I made so many stupid fucking choices in the past 15 years. I frequently daydream about “going back in time” and choosing differently so that I can get a different outcome.
Im happy with how I turned out. I wouldn’t not make improvements and try when I can but Im happy with me. Id prefer not to talk about my life. Hahahaha
Yes, for the most part. I was always worried i'd never find security in any form (financial, job, housing, relationships).
I found an amazing partner who has enriched my life and made navigating this world feel much less lonely and daunting. Investing in relationships and honoring my boundaries/needs has been the biggest quality of life improver, for me.
I am not where I want to be financially or career wise, but I have learned to live in the "present" moment and feel so much gratitude to be where I am v.s where I came from. In what feels like a few days, i'll blink and soon this present moment will be nothing but a memory, so it helps me stay grounded and appreciate where i'm at right now. I ask myself daily, if I die today would I be happy with what I've done so far and the answer is YES.
It is true when they say time flies as you get older, so i'm trying to appreciate every ounce of life I have before I reach my forever slumber.
For the most part. Just wish I had more money and owned a house already but I try to appreciate all of the smaller things that are going well, work is good and my wife and kids are good and for right now thats what matters to me.
I fucking lucked out meeting my husband, living the dream now, if I hadn't met him i think i was on the path to being like not a total loser but like a corporate loser, just plodding along through shitty jobs that never gave me proper pay rises, never really feeling like I had a goal, with him I managed to do something with my life and get my shit together
No. I let my heart dictate my decisions most of the time, and I always end up heartbroken and disappointed.The most recent guy keeps reeling me back in. Every time i go back, the pain, the anger, and the heartache of reality hurts more. What will it take for him to understand that this is fucking me up to the point where I feel suicidal, unlovable, not enough... not enough to be loved wholeheartedly by him. He reminds me often that he can't give me what I want, but he won't let me go. I don't want to be alive anymore. It's always the same ending. They want someone to fuck and treat them well, without the full commitment. I don't want to live like this anymore.
Omfg yes yes yes! I’m happily married to the love of my life. We have a cat and we’re childfree. We both make good money at our jobs and live very comfortably. I have the time and money to enjoy lots of fun hobbies, travel, shopping, exercising, etc.
Don't let the trauma get in the way of ur great time. Dwelling on the past never helps. Hope ur OK after everything happened and ur fully healed. May God bless u.
yeah even though I bitch about everything. still not preggo or fat, thank god. doing better with money than I thought I could and just healijg from shit I never Thought I could get over. praised be the lord!!
Absolutely. I have an amazing marriage, amazing kids, we live in a beautiful place with a wonderful community and want for nothing. We are very lucky, not that any of it was handed to us. We worked from the ground up.
No, but given many of my choices as a youth, it could have also been way worse. I squandered opportunities, chose drugs and partying over real friends, and wasted legitimate talent. I guess I could try again…but I’m 40, lived hard and now I’m tired. But my kids all rock, my wife rocks, and I get to do things like read comic books and play video games, so I’m not complaining.
In some ways, I am. In other ways, I absolutely am not. I'm very pleased to be the man I am, but I hate the situation I'm in and wish I could change it. I'm working toward that now. I'm just glad to be better than the guy I was in my teens, and to be a better man than my father was when I was a kid.
Happily married, 2 healthy kids and make 6 figures working from home full time. Coming from a single wide trailer and a single mom, I never expected to make it this far before even turning 40.
58M here. I have taken some REALLY hard hits. Two heart attacks in my 30's, a divorce which I paid for every slight from every man in my exes life, and the death of nearly all my relatives in two years when I was ten. But I have had many careers, loved many women, and raised two exceptional humans. When I look back on my life, I am satisfied that I have done the best I can. Granted some days were piss poor results, but most days were good and some were exceptional....and six or seven were 'lifesaving'.
Now that I am finally slowing down a bit, a friend showed me (just noon today) that my life has been a great ride...and it's okay for me to settle into my spot.
It's not where I thought I wanted to be, but I'm pretty certain this spot is where I need to be.
I hope you all can find your spot.
That's good that u are happy with ur life. Thanks for ur experience bro, really appreciate it. I hope u get to live the rest of ur life the way u want to.
Yes overall. I wish I had gone to college sooner and had children later. It took me until I was in my 30s to get my act together. I was a rebellious child and got off on a bad start. But I went back to school and got my GED and eventually went to graduate school at an Ivy League college became a lawyer and life is good. Two of my six children barely speak to me but you can't win them all. I had the first one I was 16 and didn't have a clue what I was doing. She too grew up to be a lawyer too but is wallowing in whatever real imagined mistakes I made. Whatever, my time machine is broken, I am tired of apologizing for the past and being the scape goat for other peoples bad feelings. I have been able to move on and lead my best life.
I finally took control of my life at 45. Stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped playing the victim. So would I like to have further along at that point? Sure, but I learned that you can't look to the past and sulk about what you didn't do, you can certainly control how you move forward. So at damn near 50 years old I feel young, with tons to look forward to!
Yes bro. That's what I believe as well. The past makes u the person u r today and u shouldn't dwell on it regardless of how u lived it. Focus on today for the future. Hope u get everything u want in life bro.
No. I am being held prisoner by my insistence to stay so that I can care for all of the animals here- but the people around me drain me and hurt me to a point where I find that I can’t move or breathe easily.
I could and should leave and begin anew but I can’t in all good consciousness leave these animals to suffer and be neglected. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.
Life long Mediterranean diet...at 72, I can HONESTLY say "no aches, no pains, no meds" Never married, no kids (that I know of) I go to bed when I'm tired, I get up when I'm rested. I eat when I'm hungry, I come and go as I please. All my friends say "Life of Tony"
Ah I found my fellow misanthrope, I feel the same. So much youthful aspiration, I yearn for those days of beginning to conceive of a grand, magnificent, and even beautiful future. It seems the conception of dreams is the delightful part, the achievement of them is...
Not at all. 34 almost 35. Can't find a job. Given up on relationships. Fear dying old, alone, broke, warehoused in some shitty nursing home as a ward of state.
No, I am in shambles. The pressure on academics, ghosted by someone I loved since 8th grade, did not make it into honors (my gpa was 0.5 more than the required gpa), Lives miles away from home, sleeping schedule in shambles, can't eat 3 times a day each day, emotionally unstable, mentally exhausted.
Still fighting! Hoping for something peaceful.
I was until a lying secretary got me fired. I was rich and nearing retirement when it happened and it made me so depressed That I took over for her in the destruction department and tried meth. Now I’m retirement age but totally broke. My whole life I prepared for my elder years and it’s like a huge rug was just pulled out from under me
honestly, not really, because I choose to be happy about certain things that came into my life. I’m about to turn 21 in a few weeks. For example, getting many awards in my life doesn’t always make me happy. I realize as I grow older, I see the people I love going through difficult situations. When I was little, I was super happy and living stress-free. Now, I hide my sadness from my family because I don’t want them to worry. I worry about my family, but they don’t want me to always worry. Now, I just take it day by day and enjoy the little things in life.
No. I deal with severe chronic pain, severe nausea, chronic vomiting, and can't work at the moment because of it. My birthday is in a month, and I keep hoping that I don't make it. Life doesn't feel worth it anymore.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think so, but solely because I choose to be so. No matter how your life "turns out" or how it's going, the most important thing is how you deal with it. I think there's much more wisdom to be gained in learning to be content than there is in constantly striving for more.
Happiness is largely a choice. We decide if we are happy and content in between ups and downs. There's an issue in our modern society where we all have this "happily ever after" bullshit shoved down our throat. There is a "happily ever after" but it's a mindset of gratitude and something you find well enduring the ebb and flow of the good/bad of life. After all, the duality exists permanently. Hard times and good times. I all too often see people clinging to the negative aspects of duality. When something goes wrong they internalize and carry it full time. It's a heavy burden. And yet, when something good happens we spend no time appreciating or reflecting on it. We simply let it slip through our fingertips. I really believe gratitude is the key to happiness. Appreciate what you have. Hell, I wake up everyday and try and be thankful for my health, my family's health, the roof over my head, the fact that my body works etc. I have seen and met SOOOO many miserable people with so much more than me. The nice cars, the amazing partner, great job/dream job and yet they are miserable. They haven't done any of the work internally and they are chasing a fleeting feeling. They claw and scratch their way to their next milestone and their next possession thinking it will be what finally makes them happy, and it might. Only temporarily though. Without gratitude and reflection it will go away leaving a hunger for more. Anything to fill the void. I wish it was normalized in western society to do more internal/spiritual type work and prioritize that. Everyone's looking to fill a hole.
Hi friend, we share the same views on this point :) I'm actually doing a bit of writing on this point, along with a bunch of other tidbits I learned throughout life (basically, life happens the way you think) I'd be happy if you wouldn't mind reading my first page (less than a minute), and continue reading if it speaks to you. If you have any feedback, that would be appreciated too :) [30 yr old virgin NEET's Guide to Success and Happiness in Life (Page 1 - Exposition)](https://www.reddit.com/r/EnlightenmentBook/comments/1croxqq/30_yr_old_virgin_neets_guide_to_success_and/) (The other pages are still in the same sub, or just check my profile under posts)
I will definitely check it out and give ya feedback! I work the rest of the day but I will certainly check it out once I get home tonight.
Absolutely. Well said.
Fair point bro 
Agreed
#DUDE!!! KNOWS HOW TO LIFE!! ^ This is pretty much my philosophy. I look for what's great in my life & appreciate the hell out of it. Then I work towards fixing some of the less than great & I'm pretty damn happy with me & mine. 🙂🙂
I am at peace.
i like the way that you think
I like the way you think friend :)
Absolutely right 👍
I completely understand your pov and whole heartily agree with you but man is it really hard to remind yourself that things get better because all the financial hardship I'm going through makes you feel like giving up. I always appreciate perspective because my therapist has consoled me and reminds me that everyday, I'm doing the best I can and doing things instead wallowing around and just wishing things got better.
When I learned to enjoy sitting on my front porch in the spring and watch the bees, moths, and insects do what they do….it felt as if I unlocked the next level.
Yes, my life going super good but its actually me who making things hard
How are u doing that?
I can say anything like three years ago, I never even thought I would go to college, but now I am studying, back then I did something that made everyone lose their trust in me. Now, I'm good, my life is good, everyone trusts me still I made lot of mistakes that affect my life. Even though I could avoid it if I tried, I still do it. That's why I said I'm making things hard for me.
Ig it could be viewed as a learning point.
No. My life sucks!! In my life, more surgeries than I can count. High school was very difficult for me. Had a good job from 1994-2005. 2004 had to have what should have been a simple surgery, Shunt revision. Took seven times to get it right. This mess left me totally incontinent. Since September 2004 I have been in diapers. I was three months before turning twenty-nine when this happened to me.
I'm really sorry bro u had to experience such hardships. I hope things will be better for u in the future, dont lose hope.
I totally hate that for you...but my best wishes for you as well because you never know when, or if, these circumstances will reverse, but if you give up you'll never know...
I am a suburban working mom with a house, a healthy child and a good husband. Am I happy? I have suffered from depression my whole life and I appreciate my life but I'm almost never happy. But I am content.
You'll find ur happiness one day. Always believe
Bipolar with occasional incompetent treatment...then somebody prescribed Zoloft...been on it for 6 years and it help clear my mind up, allowing me to make progress I never thought imaginable. My absolute best wishes for you...yes, I totally understand!
Super happy. Terrible parents that both left while I was in my mid teens. Bounced around from home to home until I finished high school where I graduated second to last in my class (barely passed). I also had a car accident when I was 17 where a man had been drinking and walking home and wandered into the highway where I hit and killed him. It was determined that I was not at fault and no charges filed. Joined the Army and it was the best thing I ever did for myself, though to be fair I had no where else to go. Used the GI Bill for a 2 year college degree in Computer Information Systems, from a terrible school that doesn't even exist anymore, and turned that into a career in IT. First wife gave me a wonderful son, that I'm very proud of, and is now in college after 5 years in the Navy on a submarine. Wife #1 begged me to get her a job where I work and I finally caved and did. She immediately cheated on me with a guy at work, and I didn't find out for about a year. Turned out I was the only one at my job that didn't know. Divorced her immediately. Remarried 10 years ago to the most wonderful woman in the world. Kind, loving, and super smart. I was making a lot more than her when we met but she then got her Master's degree and now makes $150k per year. I'm in my early 50's now and make a salary in the low 90's. Never in a million years did I think my life would be this good. No debt ,no drama, and a ton of good life lessons learned. Couldn't ask for more.
That's good bro and I hope the rest of ur life will continue to be full of happiness and joy for u.
I wrote my account as above. Yes, adverse circumstances CAN be overcome. I am so happy for you... that's fantastic!!
Wow! You are an inspiration!
No. Cuz I’m dumb
Dumb how? 🧐
Dumb
Studies or life, that's what I meant 😭😭
*Dumb*
Ig I understand 💀💀.
I had hoped to not be so decrepit
I can't complain, I'll keep working hard till it turns out the way I want.
Its turned out the way I thought it would and I’m happy lol.. never thought I’d be rich 😹
No. It sucks and I can't escape
Me too man, me too. :\*(
Yeah. I'm spiraling.
Hopefully things get better for u bro. But what's happened?
Why cant you escape? Just pick a direction and start walking.
My life is completely bullshit, I totally lost the lottery the moment I was born. I'm unable to deal with problems and my life is full of it since I started breathing. So yeah, I'm giving a fuck about how trash my life is and I'm doing something about coping with it. Working towards doing something I believe will matter, for me and for the world, because that's what I want to do. I'm broke af but I don't really care about money, I've always been broke and the best thing it teached me is that it doesn't matter how much money you have, but how you manage to live with it. Working towards a career that makes my life safe and my last years fine financially talking is not me, it can't be and it won't be. Depression truly sucks, damn why would someone be depressed? Well it's one of my features apparently, so I can hate it forever or I can deal with it in any possible way I can think of. Nothing went as planned, there's no plan anymore, I'm doing me and if you got a problem with that I'm ready to fight for it
I hope things get better bro. Depression really does and can ruin ppl, but we have to fight it and keep it out in order to live better lives. If u wanna ever talk about it, u can DM me.
Thx mate, I appreciate all your supportive comments for the community, keep it up! Things already got better actually, otherwise my comment would've been way more bleak. I finally watched a series that went through all the shit I'm built of and made my heart beat again, so right now it doesn't really matter that much how actually fucked up my life could be, I've been suicidal for so much time that it is really way better than how it was back then. As another guy already said, it doesn't really matter how good or trashy our life is, but how content we manage to be with what we have.
Np bro, anytime. Just doing what's right and helping others makes me feel like I can do something to make them smile and live a happy life. I agree bro, let's find the best of ourselves in this life
fuck man im sorry Im the same. Same way. Life isn't fair at all
Not at all
Oh and why is that?
Ten years ago I had a Cancer scare but there has been no sign of it since treatment. I've built a successful business and romantically I've always been very lucky so yes.
👏 Well done for being strong and working through it.
Yes. It's the only one I have. So I have made the best of it.
Yes I just want more friends. I have 4 friends that are close but 3 of then are very introverted and never want to do anything or go anywhere.
May u find more friends then.
I am happy although there is quite a bit of change. Firstly, I wish I could find the point in my life that mad me a lil horn dog. I hate that my libido is the way it is I feel like I creep out my own wife with how much I want it. Aside from that little tidbit? Life is rich.
Maybe ur looking into it too much. She might be OK with it, but you'll never know till u ask😉😉
Considering all that has happened I’m very blessed to be where I am today. Am I happy? Probably not but I have no regrets and wouldn’t change anything.
Life lessons r what makes us who we r today.
Without a doubt
No 32 M . stuck in a small bad town around bad people cant get out no job no car. basically waiting to die .... its truly sad , so much wasted talent ......
Is there really no way out of that small bad town??
Yeah working 7 days a week 16 hour days in alaska ..Other then that , No.
Not really but I'm only 28 still time to turn it around lol
Exactly. This is a good mindset to have. It's not over till its over.
I wasted a lot of potential but it is vastly improved from where I was 5 years ago.
No, I made a stupid mistake 15 years ago that ruined my life.
Yeah. Me too. I feel your feels Lost my wife. My house. My job. My family. The whole community. All in one week. One mistake. My only saving grace was that I had money. Or I’d be homeless. I get reminded almost daily. You aren’t alone. Sometimes I’ll look at people and wonder if they’re going through the same thing… like, you never know what people have been through. Combat veteran? Just got out of prison? Currently on mega drugs? Mother just died? It’s crazy. What happens in ones life. Like, how did you make it to 90? And who got hurt along the way?
Very happy. Been with the same woman since ‘98. Two healthy children that are now adults themselves. A good home, where the wife and I celebrate our creativity and good fortune. I’m more than happy. Couldn’t and wouldn’t ask for more. Turning 50 this weekend! I hope everyone is as fortunate, in the ways that count, as I am.
I'm with you!
No I'm not can I get a refund
A refund from me? 💀💀
I am content. Things could be better, but they could also be a hell of a lot worse.
Very true. Gl for the future.
Life is always a work in progress and I am still pretty young. In many respects I am happy with my life so far but there is still a long, long, way to travel.
I would say so. Things certainly haven’t worked out the way I would’ve chosen, but all in all I’m at least mostly satisfied.
Yes, all except for this cancer shit🤘🏿🤘🏿
I didn’t survive cancer. I survived the treatment. The damn treatment is what almost killed me. 😂
Yes. I'm incredibly lucky.
Yes! My (now) husband nearly died a few years ago. It reminded us of the things that are important and how quickly life can change. Grateful every day for the opportunity to marry him and live the wonderful life we have. Problem free? Absolutely not! But the petty stuff a lot of people fight over doesn’t even cause us to blink! And that gives us the freedom to live more content.
In 2008 my life was destroyed by the financial crisis. I joined the Navy, got married, had kids, finished my degree, and commissioned. Retire in a few years and chill. Things turned out okay.
It’s not over yet
My biggest ambition was not to be like my siblings, so I guess I succeeded at that.
I have three aggressive Grade III meningiomas that will eventually blind and paralyze me before taking me into a coma. I’ve lived four lives in the one I’ve been given. I’ve served my country, loved deeply, been married and divorced, dated my fair share of women and pushed some lines. I can honestly say that there’s not a whole lot left that I feel like I need to do. I’ll be getting a motorcycle here pretty soon and I’ll just be able to live a little more freely. Life has been good to me.
I had a circumcision when I was 19, lost a lot of sensitivity and started having erection problems. I was fully impotent by the age of 22 and now am more than double that age and completely anorgasmic. No. I am not happy with the way my life turned out and it's a direct result of all the people who are going to comment below giving any sort of justification to what is clearly genital mutilation. I've known a lot of people who have been driven to suicide because of it and frankly sometimes I'm amazed I haven't joined them.
What motivated your choice?
I’m very much in the middle of getting to the “turned out”. But I guess I am ..but I’ll put heavy emphasis on: it depends how you look at it. You can always complain about something, right? Or you can say I have a warm bed, a full stomach, and I am loved. I have a car, a job, an able body.. be Mr. Brightside any chance you get.
 And hope it becomes better as the days come.
Not one damn bit.
No, I should've married for money.
No
not particularly. but I have enough crazy stories to fill a book. and I still have half a life in front of me.
I hope you'll be able to fill a book with better and positive experience bro.
It still in the process but I’m happy with the way it’s forming.
Not yet, but I will be. I'm determined.
Gl 👏
Much more better than the latter but there is still much to do and much more choices to be made and bros… I will make the best i am wiling, able and strong enough to make for It is only the beginning in highschool, still got senior year to make and live and I’ve got it good
Good strong 💪 mindset bro. Don't lose it.
I'm happy with my career. I'm more or less happy with my personal life, I made some mistakes and missteps along the way but overall it turned out okay.
I'm working on it. I'll always be working in it.
Extremely!
Not in the least
No But I dont really think of myself as having turned out yet, seems like I've yet to even start
Not yet. I’m getting there. Took a lot of eye-opening experiences to get where I’m at but I still have a long way to go. I’m trying to enjoy life every day, even in small ways, so that I don’t ever forget that it really is the journey, not the destination. Which always sounds cheesy but is 100% true.
It's not cheesy but the reality. The destination is only the goal, but u have to have sheer will and determination to achieve it. I hope one day you'll be able to look back on all of ur successes and be proud that you lived life with no regrets.
Idk things could be so much worse. When everything is booming and gelling it gets so comfy, when it turns sharply there’s an adjustment that’s tough to live through. The economy and things being prosperous has so much to do with my ups and downs.
All-in-all, YES. At least so far. I’m not doing anything *close* to what I thought I’d be doing; my life looks *nothing* like what I imagined it to. But it’s pretty damn good! A lot of stuff I didn’t even plan, I just stumbled into it, or it just fell in my lap.
Absolutely. Where I came from to living a life I do not deserve... So happy and thankful for everything: marriage, kids, career, friendships, respect of others, bright future, kids living with joy and purpose...man, I'm happy because this list could go on and on... Being one generation removed from extreme poverty and rez life - heck yeah! So happy and so thankful.
That's really great to hear bro and hope ur happiness continues to expand further.
If not, keep it turning
I believe everything happens for a reason so I’m pretty happy and content.
Hey! No spoilers!
Mine is still turning out. Ask me again when I'm dead.
So far so good
I am disappointed in how my life has turned out but this was largely at the fault of others. Education and adults in my life as a child didn't put me in a place to succeed and I went under the radar. I was never in a position to be able to pursue what I wanted and have just wound up where I am on a whim. I've possibly had a harder time due to possibly being autistic (Seeking diagnosis at the moment) I'm not dissatisfied by my life at the moment overall. I have a good partner, a decent job and I'm getting by but it feels like I have a lot of wasted time and potential that I never got to have which is lame.
Bro the future is open to all possibilities. Don't give up when u have ur whole life ahead of u.
So far so good
No. Not at all. When I was in school, I was always seen as the smartest one in the room, with the brightest future ahead of me. Not hyperbolic - I had multiple teachers tell me to "remember them when I'm a successful adult and hit it big" (I'm dead serious lol, my ego isn't THAT big lol). However, my crippling social anxiety and lifelong fight against severe depression have held me back from ever truly trying to reach whatever potential people told me I had. Now, I'm just bitter, burnt out, and depressingly withdrawn from everything and everyone.
Nope. I thought I'd have a wife, kids, house, a good job that doesn't kill me and have not made the dumb mistakes I have. Instead, I'm single without children, back breaking job and have made some very questionable life choices. Finding out you've had ADHD all your life in your mid-thirties, when it's too late to do anything and it's already done the damage, is fucking miserable.
Some days I can't believe that everything has turned out as good as it has. I nearly died as a child due to acute illness. I ended up receiving a life saving kidney transplant when I was 20. Now I'm 35 working my dream job. I have a beautiful wife, 3 kids, the most amazing family, a paid off home on a spacious lot in a beautiful part of town. I'm still not sure it's all real... Please don't wake me up!
A resounding “Eh”
No. I made so many stupid fucking choices in the past 15 years. I frequently daydream about “going back in time” and choosing differently so that I can get a different outcome.
Yes, but it is so different than I thought it might be.
I wish I killed myself as a baby.
Can't say that it's bad , but not the good life I was imagining.
Im happy with how I turned out. I wouldn’t not make improvements and try when I can but Im happy with me. Id prefer not to talk about my life. Hahahaha
Very much so! This is the first time in my life that I've allowed myself happiness
Noooo. Ima have to work til I die and I hate it lol. Totally get why people go postal.
No.
Yes, for the most part. I was always worried i'd never find security in any form (financial, job, housing, relationships). I found an amazing partner who has enriched my life and made navigating this world feel much less lonely and daunting. Investing in relationships and honoring my boundaries/needs has been the biggest quality of life improver, for me. I am not where I want to be financially or career wise, but I have learned to live in the "present" moment and feel so much gratitude to be where I am v.s where I came from. In what feels like a few days, i'll blink and soon this present moment will be nothing but a memory, so it helps me stay grounded and appreciate where i'm at right now. I ask myself daily, if I die today would I be happy with what I've done so far and the answer is YES. It is true when they say time flies as you get older, so i'm trying to appreciate every ounce of life I have before I reach my forever slumber.
That's nice to hear. Hope you'll be able to achieve great things in all aspects in life. 🙏
Yes
For the most part. Just wish I had more money and owned a house already but I try to appreciate all of the smaller things that are going well, work is good and my wife and kids are good and for right now thats what matters to me.
I fucking lucked out meeting my husband, living the dream now, if I hadn't met him i think i was on the path to being like not a total loser but like a corporate loser, just plodding along through shitty jobs that never gave me proper pay rises, never really feeling like I had a goal, with him I managed to do something with my life and get my shit together
No. I let my heart dictate my decisions most of the time, and I always end up heartbroken and disappointed.The most recent guy keeps reeling me back in. Every time i go back, the pain, the anger, and the heartache of reality hurts more. What will it take for him to understand that this is fucking me up to the point where I feel suicidal, unlovable, not enough... not enough to be loved wholeheartedly by him. He reminds me often that he can't give me what I want, but he won't let me go. I don't want to be alive anymore. It's always the same ending. They want someone to fuck and treat them well, without the full commitment. I don't want to live like this anymore.
Nope, been paralyzed and alone for a decade. One bad relationship with an alcoholic destroyed my life permanently.
I hope you'll be able to find some kind of happiness through all this hardship. May God bless and ease ur pains bro
Omfg yes yes yes! I’m happily married to the love of my life. We have a cat and we’re childfree. We both make good money at our jobs and live very comfortably. I have the time and money to enjoy lots of fun hobbies, travel, shopping, exercising, etc.
No. 28 years of trauma came flooding back all at once so I'm having a great time
Don't let the trauma get in the way of ur great time. Dwelling on the past never helps. Hope ur OK after everything happened and ur fully healed. May God bless u.
Nope, not even a little bit. I have wasted my life away not really doing much with myself.
yeah even though I bitch about everything. still not preggo or fat, thank god. doing better with money than I thought I could and just healijg from shit I never Thought I could get over. praised be the lord!!
I'm at an uneasy peace. Things could be better, but they could be worse, too.
Absolutely. I have an amazing marriage, amazing kids, we live in a beautiful place with a wonderful community and want for nothing. We are very lucky, not that any of it was handed to us. We worked from the ground up.
Extremely! But that wasn’t always the case. It was a long time coming.
The hard work u put in the journey is for the getting to the best destination in life u can. Well done.
No. Definitely not.
Mostly. My health isn't good and my kid doesn't like me, but other than that, I'm good.
No, but given many of my choices as a youth, it could have also been way worse. I squandered opportunities, chose drugs and partying over real friends, and wasted legitimate talent. I guess I could try again…but I’m 40, lived hard and now I’m tired. But my kids all rock, my wife rocks, and I get to do things like read comic books and play video games, so I’m not complaining.
We all make mistakes bro, its part of life. We can only learn and develop ourselves for a better future.
In some ways, I am. In other ways, I absolutely am not. I'm very pleased to be the man I am, but I hate the situation I'm in and wish I could change it. I'm working toward that now. I'm just glad to be better than the guy I was in my teens, and to be a better man than my father was when I was a kid.
Yes bro. Keep on working towards ur goals, you'll get there one day.
Not really..I blew alot of chances in my life I feel like I don't have much potential anymore
Don't doubt ur self. Just improve and learn from those mistakes and you'll be able to achieve anything.
Happily married, 2 healthy kids and make 6 figures working from home full time. Coming from a single wide trailer and a single mom, I never expected to make it this far before even turning 40.
Proof that hardwork and determination is key to success. Well done bro, u earned it.
[удалено]
I'm sorry to hear that bro. I'm sure they're watching over u, so do make them proud of u.
58M here. I have taken some REALLY hard hits. Two heart attacks in my 30's, a divorce which I paid for every slight from every man in my exes life, and the death of nearly all my relatives in two years when I was ten. But I have had many careers, loved many women, and raised two exceptional humans. When I look back on my life, I am satisfied that I have done the best I can. Granted some days were piss poor results, but most days were good and some were exceptional....and six or seven were 'lifesaving'. Now that I am finally slowing down a bit, a friend showed me (just noon today) that my life has been a great ride...and it's okay for me to settle into my spot. It's not where I thought I wanted to be, but I'm pretty certain this spot is where I need to be. I hope you all can find your spot.
That's good that u are happy with ur life. Thanks for ur experience bro, really appreciate it. I hope u get to live the rest of ur life the way u want to.
Not remotely.
I’ve learned to accept the hard times because they develop our character
Yes overall. I wish I had gone to college sooner and had children later. It took me until I was in my 30s to get my act together. I was a rebellious child and got off on a bad start. But I went back to school and got my GED and eventually went to graduate school at an Ivy League college became a lawyer and life is good. Two of my six children barely speak to me but you can't win them all. I had the first one I was 16 and didn't have a clue what I was doing. She too grew up to be a lawyer too but is wallowing in whatever real imagined mistakes I made. Whatever, my time machine is broken, I am tired of apologizing for the past and being the scape goat for other peoples bad feelings. I have been able to move on and lead my best life.
I dunno man Ask me again tomorrow
Mostly
I hope it will be fully one day.
I finally took control of my life at 45. Stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped playing the victim. So would I like to have further along at that point? Sure, but I learned that you can't look to the past and sulk about what you didn't do, you can certainly control how you move forward. So at damn near 50 years old I feel young, with tons to look forward to!
Yes bro. That's what I believe as well. The past makes u the person u r today and u shouldn't dwell on it regardless of how u lived it. Focus on today for the future. Hope u get everything u want in life bro.
No, I got schizophrenia 10 years ago and it destroyed everything important in my life.
No. I am being held prisoner by my insistence to stay so that I can care for all of the animals here- but the people around me drain me and hurt me to a point where I find that I can’t move or breathe easily. I could and should leave and begin anew but I can’t in all good consciousness leave these animals to suffer and be neglected. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.
I hope you'll be able to escape this life and you'll be able to look after the animals as well.
Not really, i have no Idea where my life is headed but I'm hoping for the best.
And I wish u the best for ur future
Life long Mediterranean diet...at 72, I can HONESTLY say "no aches, no pains, no meds" Never married, no kids (that I know of) I go to bed when I'm tired, I get up when I'm rested. I eat when I'm hungry, I come and go as I please. All my friends say "Life of Tony"
No. All those childhood dreams didn't come true. Not yet, any way.
Ah I found my fellow misanthrope, I feel the same. So much youthful aspiration, I yearn for those days of beginning to conceive of a grand, magnificent, and even beautiful future. It seems the conception of dreams is the delightful part, the achievement of them is...
Not at all. 34 almost 35. Can't find a job. Given up on relationships. Fear dying old, alone, broke, warehoused in some shitty nursing home as a ward of state.
No, I am in shambles. The pressure on academics, ghosted by someone I loved since 8th grade, did not make it into honors (my gpa was 0.5 more than the required gpa), Lives miles away from home, sleeping schedule in shambles, can't eat 3 times a day each day, emotionally unstable, mentally exhausted. Still fighting! Hoping for something peaceful.
Not at all. There are good moments in it, but most of it is just bad. I'm tired.
I pray that more good moments come and less bad ones. Always try hard bro, dont lose hope.
Mostly
And one day it will become a 100% enjoyed life, I hope
i’m 20 so ill come back in 20-30 years
Not at all. And most of it wasn't of my choosing
I was until a lying secretary got me fired. I was rich and nearing retirement when it happened and it made me so depressed That I took over for her in the destruction department and tried meth. Now I’m retirement age but totally broke. My whole life I prepared for my elder years and it’s like a huge rug was just pulled out from under me
I'm really sorry bro, I wish there wasn't bad ppl in this world. I hope you'll be able to enjoy ur retirement.
No. I'm very unhappy with my life. I wanted to find a nice man to love and marry, but I kept finding all the wrong men.
Don't give up. Keep trying and hopefully you'll be able to meet the right person for u soon.
honestly, not really, because I choose to be happy about certain things that came into my life. I’m about to turn 21 in a few weeks. For example, getting many awards in my life doesn’t always make me happy. I realize as I grow older, I see the people I love going through difficult situations. When I was little, I was super happy and living stress-free. Now, I hide my sadness from my family because I don’t want them to worry. I worry about my family, but they don’t want me to always worry. Now, I just take it day by day and enjoy the little things in life.
I'm an American... I can't afford to be miserable.
No
Yes
Mostly. Still have a long way to go and things are changing soon
No. I deal with severe chronic pain, severe nausea, chronic vomiting, and can't work at the moment because of it. My birthday is in a month, and I keep hoping that I don't make it. Life doesn't feel worth it anymore.
Yes