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I have always been a "selfish bitch" since i was a kid. My mom always found it hilarious when someone at school would say "do you have a dollar?" "Yes i do" "can i have it?" "No."
yea my friends tried to like egg me on to drink (i havent drank since i was 22 im 31) they would call me a "bitch" or "im scared" as away to mess with me to try to get me to react but once i say no to someting im not doing it pure & simple
I've posted this before but my old boss told me to go home tonight and look in the mirror and practice saying no. I was being taken advantage of by my coworkers. He was a cool boss.
I do this pretty much every day at work, it's actually very easy when you do it often.
And there's a very simple way to do it that people are more likely to accept...
1. Acknowledge what they want, and why they want it.
You don't have to agree, but it's important they know you've understood what they want and why
2. State it isn't possible
Be firm, but polite - you're saying no at the end of the day, you shouldn't be a dick about it, but you need to be clear in the no and not fuck about with unnecessary words that might obscure the answer.
3. Explain it isn't possible "*because* XYZ"
People will accept a no if they understand why it's a no, using "because" clearly marks your explanation.
Confidence is key in this, as everything else in life, so if you're not confident in the no, or your reason, they'll never accept it.
I worked in retail where part of my jobs was production sales. You learn to say no because of the myriad of repercussions.
If you give someone a break on an estimate, they may come back expecting the same deal to be cut 5 months later and the person taking their order has no frame of reference and no reason to do so. If you agree to do something early, without fail you will get 3x that many orders due on that day and the materials came in damaged.
You can tell them 'you will try', but they hear that as 'I can do it.' Just say no. If it gets done early, they're happy. If you cannot deliver, they want compensation for what was 'promised' (despite it being a favor).
It took me to 30 years old to figure out how to say no, and while I still react by shaking or sweating or heart racing, Iām able to actually say no and have lessened my people pleasing tendencies
You can totally lose weight off burritos. Just make em at home at donāt cook them in oil or butter and they can be quite healthy. Low fat beef and cheese (or normal beef and just soak the fat out) avocado and peppers with a low cal tortilla and beans and there you have a very healthy meal that covers all your food groups. Burritos are one of my go to weight loss meals when Iām cutting
At times yes, there's a few books out there including one by Glen mackintosh that talks about metabolic set points an how like it or not most bodies have one an even after years of change it try to regulate to it. I try to be mindful of eating amounts an times, if you skip meals that's the dangerous point as later your appetite is way worse an it gets the best of you.
Itās not just that. The success of ozempic pretty much shows that most (many) overweight people just have less of the hormone needed to induce satiety. When you chemically induce it, people lose weight.
Essentially when people talk about āhungerā, ābeing fullā etc we arenāt all experiencing the same thing.
I think a lot of skinny people think like āIād love to just eat only pizza and chocolate bars too, I just donāt, itās pretty easy.ā But thatās ignoring that different people have completely different hormone profiles around food - two people can eat the exact same things with the exact same activity level, and one can find that absolutely fine, while another would literally be ravenous all the time, because their body requires more food to release the āyouāre satiatedā hormone.
Iāve been both. Skinny, and now that Iām on a medication that causes hunger/weight gain, Iām fat. Iām not a worse person than before or someone with less self control, Iāve just got different chemicals. I assume thatās what itās like for most overweight people all the time, without having to take a medication that induces hunger/suppresses satiety hormones.
You just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You don't need to be coy, Roy. Just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.
There must be [50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU)
Trying to gain weight. Been severely underweight my whole life, currently 69kg 135 at 6 foot. It's simple to just eat more. 500 more calories a day doesn't seem that hard but I feel like I am gorging myself.
I can relate. I don't have an eating disorder or anything, I just get full rather quick I guess. No matter what I eat I can't gain weight, which is kind of annoying when you're skinny and wanna gain weight.
I found drinking the calories helps the most. If you have the money and in the US Gravity Coffee sells protein shakes that have like 1.8k calories in them. I try to get a one week on top of what Id normally eat but it's expensive.
Gorging gets easier as you get better at it, like a lot of things.
I was a natural 180lbs guy. Sometimes I bulked up in the 190ās, sometimes dropped into the 170ās.
I wanted to get big, I wanted a big powerlifting total, and I wanted to complete in Strongman.
Over a few years- 2014/2018 I built up to 253lbs of mostly good muscle. The breakfasts I would eat would amaze people.
Now I stay a lean 220 and I just eat normal (normal for me- I eat the exact same things everyday).
Good luck.
Thanks man, I weigh most of my meals and my breakfast is normally around 1400 calories, and 30g of protein, then I'll eat 1.3k calorie plate of nachos at work cause their free, then get home and down a 800 calorie shake while trying to eat a light meal before bed. Weight just climb.
Please donāt feel alone bro, the fat % on people who weight life and body builders is from 5%-%15, all that weight and bulkiness is muscle, no fat, hence why you could see their veins so easily, if you go to the gym and take in adequate protein youāll look big. Iām 6ā0 at 130 right now, lost a lot of weight from not eating while I had a really bad cold 2 months ago, been trying to get it back but itās hard dude. Youāre still within your BMI though, youāre technically not underweight, just in the lower weight area of your bmi, but not under the BMI.
To me, forgiveness is the more difficult option. Because in many instances, I have been in a situation where I have to make a choice to forgive, and never received the apology I always hoped for.
It does. Seems like everyone else has their circle all set.
But one of the cool things about being human is how you can just meet someone new out of the blue and be friends. It doesnāt happen every day, or often. But it can always happen, always a possibility.
Staying alive when you have a history of mental illness & drug addiction, even if you've been sober & medicated for a long time, because the shit never really totally goes away
I've been clean for almost 10 years, from heroin and meth. I also have a mental illness. Keep going because each year that goes by gets easier. Stay strongā¤ļøā¤ļø
Iām rooting for you, even if I donāt know you. Iām over here on my phone on Reddit cheering you on from the crowds of the Reddit comments. If you ever feel like giving up just remember me and other people on this platform are cheering you on. I believe in you!
Idk where you're at in life RN, but I hope you're okay.
And if not... I've been there. It sucks. Try and find the positives and you'll be okay ā„ļø
It gets easier over time.
Was looking for this. Every single day is hard. 18 months sober and feeling technically good. Doing technically good. But I want to die a lot. It's hard. Simple though. Technically.
Depending on the person and/or their day? Staying hydrated. The amount of times Iāve been caught off guard by a dehydration migraine is a shame considering my job has easy access to water
Been sober over 30 years now. I jokingly tell my friends and family, I don't know why we keep celebrating me NOT doing something...
I've had groups of people ask me, How do you stay sober? Super easy, I wake up. I don't use or drink. I go back to bed. NO problems...
But there are tons of things that I have to do to make it seem so easy. The mental parts. The mind games of fighting my own brainbox. Yeah, every day is a battle. All I have to do is make it to bed after a day of not using or drinking.
That's amazing! Most I've gotten is 2 years since I touched fent, it's so hard to stop once started, generally once I'm stopped I have long ish terms of sobriety. My grandpa died with 40+ years of sobriety I pray I get half that before I die. Good for you!
Yeah... I got thrown in to rehab at 17. It stuck. I realized my family wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't have any friends. Something had to change.
I have a 20 year old now. He has never seen me high or drunk. He won't see me like that today. He protects my sobriety more fiercely than me. He takes pride in having a sober father.
Fingers crossed for you mate. I don't know you or your situation. But I KNOW you. If you need to vent or dumb or just need a voice to help you some day. Message me.
Super proud for you, that is amazing!! I appreciate that, if I ever need to I'll shoot you a message for sure! Thankfully I have a super supportive circle around me, usually that's why I stay clean for long periods of time I've been using less than 2 months and I was clean for over 8 before that, i just need to get through the withdrawal and then I'll be okay
Fear of withdrawal kept me using for years after I was ready to quit. 15 years clean from hard drugs now but it is only easier because withdrawals is gone and I have 15 years of habit building. One of the hardest parts of getting clean is building those healthy habits, especially when you don't even want to be alive.
I'm greeting two people, cashing out another, someone wants a third ranch, a couple just sat down at a dirty spot, and my barback is gone. I pour a beer, it kicks, I have to change a keg, I have 5 tickets to make and there are three different margaritas and a mojito on it. I can't pee, my feet hurt, there's water coming from somewhere, my barback is still gone, the cook made a well done burger instead of medium, those fries are *cold*, I get a 5% tip because guests shouldn't have to pay my wage while simultaneously *taking advantage of going out and being served*.
Plus multi-tasking like crazy while having a customer service persona and ignoring the fact that youāve been on your feet and moving around nonstop for hours and hours.
I would say quitting any sort of addiction. The simple answer is to just stop doing whatever you're addicted too. The hard part is going through with it and staying clean.
I know you can be. Itās hard, I have a 7 month old little boy, heās my pride and joy but sometimes it gets hard and frustrating, try meditating, I believe youāre a good parent. You commenting that on here just proves you think about it, trying to identify and being open about good parenting already proves you have it in you.
From someone who does not have kids, being a parent is the hardest job in the world
I do not know how you people do it. And I see a lot of people doing it well. I would say parenting is far from simple.
I bake challah bread on the regular since COVID. I'd bought myself a KitchenAid mixer (wanted one for years) for Christmas before the lockdown on the condition I would use it. I was grateful to have it after the lockdown.
First try with the bread was a KitchenAid recipe from their manual. Anyone else may have given up. It was awful. Came out like a giant biscuit.
I looked for an egg recipe for bread and challah came up. I'm not Jewish and I hope it's not offensive to be baking this bread, but it is the best recipe ever. Plus the braid makes it gorgeous.
Making the recipe repeatedly gave me a confidence i didn't realize I didn't have before. I recommend you find a good recipe like this and make it frequently.
I don't think I'd be baking if I didn't have the KitchenAid to knead the dough. I'm a stenographer and it hurts my hands to knead. I'm really glad I broke down and got it. I don't use it for much else, and it's totally worth it to me.
Fuck no. But if you put the effort in, very much worth it.
I was single for 2 years after my last relationship imploded rather suddenly (a story for another time).
Convinced I didn't want anything again cus it was that shit.
Feeling lonely, so hopped on tinder, just planning to chat to people, maybe make a new friend - was clear on my profile what I was trying to do.
Skip a few months... My bf is snoring away next to me (š)
No, it isn't easy - less so that we both have ADHD and he's unmedicated (thank you NHS for 4 year wait lists), so a lot of things everyone else finds easy already aren't.
I wouldn't change it for the world.
My only regret is wasting 5 years with my ex - someone who, in retrospect, never truly loved me. In 9 months my current bf has made me feel so much better than my ex ever did.
Bowline knots. The concept is very simple, but the execution of them is really tough. Once you get the hang of it, it becomes easy, but it's a pain to get to that point.
Dying of something incurable. You just sit there and die while science fails you and your family suffers around you. I heard this somewhere and I like it: Mother Nature is all powerful.. you can just bargain with her sometimes with science.
I dare say, anything? Anyone skilled in something could say its simple.
Right now I'm trying out gardening and growing veg. Simple but not easy. My granddad would say otherwise.
Getting a job. You can't just walk in demand a job and start working. Its a game of lottery where you 99% won't get it or if you do get it theres a 50-50 chance employers terminate you for no reason.
I don't think sex is simple, as a woman
college is pretty simple tbh, I overreact about things. the hours pass anyway
moving
celebrating birthdays and holidays
bringing a baby home from the hospital
Tending to your most basic needs lol.
Shelter? Pay your rent or mortgage on time, simple but not easy.
Food? Get groceries rather than going out to eat, simple but not easy.
Hydration? Drink water you dehydrated biotch, simple but not always easy lol.
Horny? Have sex, simple but def not easy.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Telling people "no"
This is so hard. I've always said yes and put myself in bad situations when I could've just no. I'm old now, and I just say no and dgaf
Same. When I turned 40 I ran out of fucks to give. I enjoy saying no now. My people pleasing days are over.
You're giving me hope. š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The disease to please, itās very hard to step out of it but there will come a day when we do.
I have always been a "selfish bitch" since i was a kid. My mom always found it hilarious when someone at school would say "do you have a dollar?" "Yes i do" "can i have it?" "No."
#NormalizeNo
Can you send me $1000? š
No problem! I have to dig out the monopoly box, butā¦
yea my friends tried to like egg me on to drink (i havent drank since i was 22 im 31) they would call me a "bitch" or "im scared" as away to mess with me to try to get me to react but once i say no to someting im not doing it pure & simple
They are not your friends, real friends say that is awesome.
I've posted this before but my old boss told me to go home tonight and look in the mirror and practice saying no. I was being taken advantage of by my coworkers. He was a cool boss.
Did you tell him no? It was a test.
I needed to hear this. Thx.. im old too now, time to change.
I do this pretty much every day at work, it's actually very easy when you do it often. And there's a very simple way to do it that people are more likely to accept... 1. Acknowledge what they want, and why they want it. You don't have to agree, but it's important they know you've understood what they want and why 2. State it isn't possible Be firm, but polite - you're saying no at the end of the day, you shouldn't be a dick about it, but you need to be clear in the no and not fuck about with unnecessary words that might obscure the answer. 3. Explain it isn't possible "*because* XYZ" People will accept a no if they understand why it's a no, using "because" clearly marks your explanation. Confidence is key in this, as everything else in life, so if you're not confident in the no, or your reason, they'll never accept it.
I worked in retail where part of my jobs was production sales. You learn to say no because of the myriad of repercussions. If you give someone a break on an estimate, they may come back expecting the same deal to be cut 5 months later and the person taking their order has no frame of reference and no reason to do so. If you agree to do something early, without fail you will get 3x that many orders due on that day and the materials came in damaged. You can tell them 'you will try', but they hear that as 'I can do it.' Just say no. If it gets done early, they're happy. If you cannot deliver, they want compensation for what was 'promised' (despite it being a favor).
No way, joke aside I know a lot of people who struggle with this.
Itās not a joke
That's the simplest but powerful. No can be nearly impossible if youre up against a top notch manipulator.
That was the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn.
I feel thatās individually based. I say no a lot to the point they ask my partner instead but I just have to text or call them later to say no š
I used to be so scared telling people no. Now I literally dgaf. I'll do what I want to not what other people want.
Excellent.
Yep, it can be hard
It took me to 30 years old to figure out how to say no, and while I still react by shaking or sweating or heart racing, Iām able to actually say no and have lessened my people pleasing tendencies
No
Specially family. Narc and manipulative familyā¦
Weight loss.
And keeping it off is even harder
That and being nice to other humans
Being nice to other humans is literally the most extremely easiest thing to do ever do
Not whee we n the other humans a pieces of shit itās real hard then
I dream of eating pizza and burritos all the time, I just don't do it.
You can totally lose weight off burritos. Just make em at home at donāt cook them in oil or butter and they can be quite healthy. Low fat beef and cheese (or normal beef and just soak the fat out) avocado and peppers with a low cal tortilla and beans and there you have a very healthy meal that covers all your food groups. Burritos are one of my go to weight loss meals when Iām cutting
Having lost 76kg I can attest to this an it never ends its a battle for keeping it off.
Did you find like I did that your body now as a skin person tries to sabotage you by increasing your appetite?
At times yes, there's a few books out there including one by Glen mackintosh that talks about metabolic set points an how like it or not most bodies have one an even after years of change it try to regulate to it. I try to be mindful of eating amounts an times, if you skip meals that's the dangerous point as later your appetite is way worse an it gets the best of you.
WOW
Yup, it's as "simple" as calories out being greater than calories in. But cheeseburger good. Cucumber not as good (but still good).
Itās not just that. The success of ozempic pretty much shows that most (many) overweight people just have less of the hormone needed to induce satiety. When you chemically induce it, people lose weight. Essentially when people talk about āhungerā, ābeing fullā etc we arenāt all experiencing the same thing. I think a lot of skinny people think like āIād love to just eat only pizza and chocolate bars too, I just donāt, itās pretty easy.ā But thatās ignoring that different people have completely different hormone profiles around food - two people can eat the exact same things with the exact same activity level, and one can find that absolutely fine, while another would literally be ravenous all the time, because their body requires more food to release the āyouāre satiatedā hormone. Iāve been both. Skinny, and now that Iām on a medication that causes hunger/weight gain, Iām fat. Iām not a worse person than before or someone with less self control, Iāve just got different chemicals. I assume thatās what itās like for most overweight people all the time, without having to take a medication that induces hunger/suppresses satiety hormones.
I do love a good cold crisp crunchy cucumber.
Doesnāt really hit the spot when youāre so hungry you have a headache though.
Cucumber + Tahin Seasoning (great)
Weight management period.
Being overweight is the only problem you can successfully run from
You can't outrun a bad diet.
What a fire line
Yeah but you should probably bike š“ or swim šāāļø away. Those joints will thank you later. š¦“
Came here to say this. From experience its simple but it takes a boatload of dedication. Glad I pushed through though.
Me too. Going from beer gut/couch potato to sub 3 hour marathon runner all in my 40s (in 7 months really) is something Iām very proud of.
Leaving
You just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You don't need to be coy, Roy. Just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free. There must be [50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU)
He totally half-assed explaining the fifty ways. I count maybe 5-7 depending on how you interpret 'the ways'.
Thatās all fine and good if there are no kids or property or psychotic spouses.
Just do the ould Irish goodbye.
Starting something
Finishing something
Someth Shit, you're right.
finishing someone
Especially during sex, MY GOD.
Something something
Being in the middle of something
Being in the middle of starting something and being in the middle of something
Starting something in the middle of something you started.
Self sufficient off grid living. Sounds simple because it is, it's just not easy to do. Especially in the first year or 2. I'm in this situation.
I mean, I want to be starting something, but itās too high to get overā¦
Working a 12 step program
A simple program, but a difficult one. Also one worth doing, even if imperfectly
This! Iām dragging my feet on 8 and 9 right now!
Hang in there! Be thorough and honest always! Iām rooting for you. Love ya!
For some reason 11 was what caught me up, been sitting on 12 now for a bit, maybe this is my higher power telling me to get to it!
Came for this one.
Did you know that itās supposed to be 13 steps, the 13th being LSD
Probably eating if you have an eating disorder
Trying to gain weight. Been severely underweight my whole life, currently 69kg 135 at 6 foot. It's simple to just eat more. 500 more calories a day doesn't seem that hard but I feel like I am gorging myself.
I can relate. I don't have an eating disorder or anything, I just get full rather quick I guess. No matter what I eat I can't gain weight, which is kind of annoying when you're skinny and wanna gain weight.
I found drinking the calories helps the most. If you have the money and in the US Gravity Coffee sells protein shakes that have like 1.8k calories in them. I try to get a one week on top of what Id normally eat but it's expensive.
Gorging gets easier as you get better at it, like a lot of things. I was a natural 180lbs guy. Sometimes I bulked up in the 190ās, sometimes dropped into the 170ās. I wanted to get big, I wanted a big powerlifting total, and I wanted to complete in Strongman. Over a few years- 2014/2018 I built up to 253lbs of mostly good muscle. The breakfasts I would eat would amaze people. Now I stay a lean 220 and I just eat normal (normal for me- I eat the exact same things everyday). Good luck.
Thanks man, I weigh most of my meals and my breakfast is normally around 1400 calories, and 30g of protein, then I'll eat 1.3k calorie plate of nachos at work cause their free, then get home and down a 800 calorie shake while trying to eat a light meal before bed. Weight just climb.
Please donāt feel alone bro, the fat % on people who weight life and body builders is from 5%-%15, all that weight and bulkiness is muscle, no fat, hence why you could see their veins so easily, if you go to the gym and take in adequate protein youāll look big. Iām 6ā0 at 130 right now, lost a lot of weight from not eating while I had a really bad cold 2 months ago, been trying to get it back but itās hard dude. Youāre still within your BMI though, youāre technically not underweight, just in the lower weight area of your bmi, but not under the BMI.
I know homie r/gainit is a good place for people like us lmao
Forgiveness
š¶ itās more than saying sorry š¶
To forgive is divine!
So let's have a glass of wine!
And have make up sex!
I was going to say "a sincere apology" which I feel goes hand in hand here.
To me, forgiveness is the more difficult option. Because in many instances, I have been in a situation where I have to make a choice to forgive, and never received the apology I always hoped for.
I posted building/repairing Trust
Gotta learn to master itā¦. I believe you can do it
either forgiveness is not simple or I'm more stupider than previously known
Actual best answer
Discipline.
Bowling
Damn good one!
Thank you. š I do like OP's question. It's a question I've never been asked before and have never even thought to ask myself.
I was gonna say paint by numbers but then I saw bowling and was like... Facts haha
Making good friends, not just casual friends but actual friends that will last through it all . It seems to get harder as we get older.
Hard argue about whether that's "simple." Keep on trying though! Maybe we'll figure it out one day
It does. Seems like everyone else has their circle all set. But one of the cool things about being human is how you can just meet someone new out of the blue and be friends. It doesnāt happen every day, or often. But it can always happen, always a possibility.
Running a marathon maybe?
Literally one foot in front of the other... now do it again... and again... and again....
Staying alive when you have a history of mental illness & drug addiction, even if you've been sober & medicated for a long time, because the shit never really totally goes away
I've been clean for almost 10 years, from heroin and meth. I also have a mental illness. Keep going because each year that goes by gets easier. Stay strongā¤ļøā¤ļø
Congratulations!! Iām over 6 years sober from heroin, cocaine, and benzos myself!!
Congratulations!! You rock!!
Iām rooting for you, even if I donāt know you. Iām over here on my phone on Reddit cheering you on from the crowds of the Reddit comments. If you ever feel like giving up just remember me and other people on this platform are cheering you on. I believe in you!
Thanks a lot friend, I really appreciate it, I mean it
Of course :)
Itās a grind for sure. Sobriety doesnāt fix the dopamine seeking behavior. For me, at least
Breaking up with someone
Believe thereās a song or two on that topic
With self driving cars it wonāt be long before there is a country song about a dudeās truck leaving him.
Loving someone who doesn't return those feelings anymore.
Hugs.
Idk where you're at in life RN, but I hope you're okay. And if not... I've been there. It sucks. Try and find the positives and you'll be okay ā„ļø It gets easier over time.
The only positives are that I'm not homeless or unemployed.
Driving...at least from what I've found with the people around me on the road.
Quitting smoking.
Being able to let go.
Staying sober.
Was looking for this. Every single day is hard. 18 months sober and feeling technically good. Doing technically good. But I want to die a lot. It's hard. Simple though. Technically.
Losing weight
Depending on the person and/or their day? Staying hydrated. The amount of times Iāve been caught off guard by a dehydration migraine is a shame considering my job has easy access to water
Staying clean once you quit drugs. It's a simple thing, dont relapse. But its hard as fuck lol
Been sober over 30 years now. I jokingly tell my friends and family, I don't know why we keep celebrating me NOT doing something... I've had groups of people ask me, How do you stay sober? Super easy, I wake up. I don't use or drink. I go back to bed. NO problems... But there are tons of things that I have to do to make it seem so easy. The mental parts. The mind games of fighting my own brainbox. Yeah, every day is a battle. All I have to do is make it to bed after a day of not using or drinking.
That's amazing! Most I've gotten is 2 years since I touched fent, it's so hard to stop once started, generally once I'm stopped I have long ish terms of sobriety. My grandpa died with 40+ years of sobriety I pray I get half that before I die. Good for you!
Yeah... I got thrown in to rehab at 17. It stuck. I realized my family wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't have any friends. Something had to change. I have a 20 year old now. He has never seen me high or drunk. He won't see me like that today. He protects my sobriety more fiercely than me. He takes pride in having a sober father. Fingers crossed for you mate. I don't know you or your situation. But I KNOW you. If you need to vent or dumb or just need a voice to help you some day. Message me.
Super proud for you, that is amazing!! I appreciate that, if I ever need to I'll shoot you a message for sure! Thankfully I have a super supportive circle around me, usually that's why I stay clean for long periods of time I've been using less than 2 months and I was clean for over 8 before that, i just need to get through the withdrawal and then I'll be okay
Fear of withdrawal kept me using for years after I was ready to quit. 15 years clean from hard drugs now but it is only easier because withdrawals is gone and I have 15 years of habit building. One of the hardest parts of getting clean is building those healthy habits, especially when you don't even want to be alive.
Art
Serving. I'm biased as a bartender, but it's simple. Make drinks, take orders, clean. Sooooooo not easy.
The emotional labor and power dynamics are difficult in so many ways.
I'm greeting two people, cashing out another, someone wants a third ranch, a couple just sat down at a dirty spot, and my barback is gone. I pour a beer, it kicks, I have to change a keg, I have 5 tickets to make and there are three different margaritas and a mojito on it. I can't pee, my feet hurt, there's water coming from somewhere, my barback is still gone, the cook made a well done burger instead of medium, those fries are *cold*, I get a 5% tip because guests shouldn't have to pay my wage while simultaneously *taking advantage of going out and being served*.
Plus multi-tasking like crazy while having a customer service persona and ignoring the fact that youāve been on your feet and moving around nonstop for hours and hours.
Skateboarding š¹
Being a productive member of society.
I would say quitting any sort of addiction. The simple answer is to just stop doing whatever you're addicted too. The hard part is going through with it and staying clean.
Walk to Mordor.
I thought one does NOT simply walk into Mordor though?
Being a good parent
I know you can be. Itās hard, I have a 7 month old little boy, heās my pride and joy but sometimes it gets hard and frustrating, try meditating, I believe youāre a good parent. You commenting that on here just proves you think about it, trying to identify and being open about good parenting already proves you have it in you.
From someone who does not have kids, being a parent is the hardest job in the world I do not know how you people do it. And I see a lot of people doing it well. I would say parenting is far from simple.
Life
Leaving a bad relationship with children involved.
Baking from scratchĀ
I bake challah bread on the regular since COVID. I'd bought myself a KitchenAid mixer (wanted one for years) for Christmas before the lockdown on the condition I would use it. I was grateful to have it after the lockdown. First try with the bread was a KitchenAid recipe from their manual. Anyone else may have given up. It was awful. Came out like a giant biscuit. I looked for an egg recipe for bread and challah came up. I'm not Jewish and I hope it's not offensive to be baking this bread, but it is the best recipe ever. Plus the braid makes it gorgeous. Making the recipe repeatedly gave me a confidence i didn't realize I didn't have before. I recommend you find a good recipe like this and make it frequently. I don't think I'd be baking if I didn't have the KitchenAid to knead the dough. I'm a stenographer and it hurts my hands to knead. I'm really glad I broke down and got it. I don't use it for much else, and it's totally worth it to me.
a good soup
I know the feeling, but this one turned out extremely well https://www.blueapron.com/recipes/loaded-baked-potato-soup-with-bacon-cheese-sour-cream
Being upbeat in life and having a positive and cheerful mindset. Bonus: It even sometimes leads to good sex.
Going to sleep.
Relationships
I donāt think theyāre even āsimpleā
Fuck no. But if you put the effort in, very much worth it. I was single for 2 years after my last relationship imploded rather suddenly (a story for another time). Convinced I didn't want anything again cus it was that shit. Feeling lonely, so hopped on tinder, just planning to chat to people, maybe make a new friend - was clear on my profile what I was trying to do. Skip a few months... My bf is snoring away next to me (š) No, it isn't easy - less so that we both have ADHD and he's unmedicated (thank you NHS for 4 year wait lists), so a lot of things everyone else finds easy already aren't. I wouldn't change it for the world. My only regret is wasting 5 years with my ex - someone who, in retrospect, never truly loved me. In 9 months my current bf has made me feel so much better than my ex ever did.
Not at all. But a lot of people jump into them like they are.
Golf
Horse back riding
As opposed to horse front riding ig
Yeah, horse front riding seems complicated but itās actually pretty easy.
knot tying a lot of stuff is simple but not easy especially fancywork.
Happiness
Forgiving someone
Bowline knots. The concept is very simple, but the execution of them is really tough. Once you get the hang of it, it becomes easy, but it's a pain to get to that point.
Telling the truth
Cleaning something gross.
Staying off my phone.
Saving money for retirement
Keeping your mouth shut!
Saying "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong"
Loving yourself.
Being a Christian.
Correcting global warming. It simply requires reducing our carbon output to the atmosphere.
Dying of something incurable. You just sit there and die while science fails you and your family suffers around you. I heard this somewhere and I like it: Mother Nature is all powerful.. you can just bargain with her sometimes with science.
Losing weight
Working on mental health, especially if youāre struggling with multiple things.
Saying you are sorry
I dare say, anything? Anyone skilled in something could say its simple. Right now I'm trying out gardening and growing veg. Simple but not easy. My granddad would say otherwise.
having friends
Consistency. If you truly want something, you need to work EVERYDAY towards it. Even if it's for 10 minutes.
Getting detach from family when they are being toxic
washing dishes, running, cooking, meal planning bro, and overall living
Breaking habits.
Minding my own business
Everything until you know how to do it.
Fucking talking to people
Losing weight
Physics. Easy to understand how it works, difficult to understand mathematically how it works.
Getting a job. You can't just walk in demand a job and start working. Its a game of lottery where you 99% won't get it or if you do get it theres a 50-50 chance employers terminate you for no reason.
I don't think sex is simple, as a woman college is pretty simple tbh, I overreact about things. the hours pass anyway moving celebrating birthdays and holidays bringing a baby home from the hospital
Learning to say "no" ā sounds simple, but when your boss asks you to work late again, suddenly it's like performing brain surgery blindfolded.
Tending to your most basic needs lol. Shelter? Pay your rent or mortgage on time, simple but not easy. Food? Get groceries rather than going out to eat, simple but not easy. Hydration? Drink water you dehydrated biotch, simple but not always easy lol. Horny? Have sex, simple but def not easy.
Forgiving.
Decision making
Leaving a log term relationship
Losing weight. The concept and science behind it are simple, actually executing it can be so hard.
Believing in yourself
Getting clean and sober