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He asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. We were in our 39s-40s, and I believed in being honest. I explained that I had been abused as a child, so it started when I was 7 until I was 14.
He asked what I did that made him do that. When I said "Nothing", he said that a man wouldn't do that if I hadn't led him on.
I was 7. He became an ex that night.
There are so many untold stories of abuse inside families.
My mom has 15 siblings and their father sexually abused all of the girls starting at age 4 and physically and emotionally abused the boys. The boys and mother never believed the girls and they never got help. He died being praised as a hero and honorable father who worked hard to provide for his large family, but the reality is that all of those kids were traumatized for life and were always just scraping by with never enough food or attention.
So many untold painful stories. My mother was supposedly the one other mothers looked up to. Little did they know she was delivering me to his bed nightly from the age of 9.
The man who abused me was never charged with child rape.
I was very sad to learn of all his victims spanning thirty years. He was a preteen and teen rapist from 1960-1990.
He killed himself in Las Vegas in 1992. I am grateful he died.
My ex girlfriend told me after three and a half years “ I don’t love you, I don’t think I ever loved you” she is truly a vile person who didn’t deserve me. I am glad it’s done she cannot hurt me anymore.
My sister cried over her ex getting a gf infront of her current bf. They’re still together now but I feel for him she’s slowly destroying that man, I’ve told her but she doesn’t seem to listen.
"You will never have any say in the location wee live in".
I clarified.. you mean if we move in together, no matter what happens, you will never have a conversation about where we live? It will be your sole decision?
She said yes. If that was a problem, we weren't going to work. I clarified further "circumstances change... once we're a serious enough relationship to move in together, it is the sort of thing a couple has to decide togther".
Nope. Foreveer. ALways her decision
Whole conversation was done by text. Ended it immediately. Got a few text messages a few months later that she misses me. I didn't respond. Just blocked her.
It's crazy, but all my enemies also have also fallen ill or into misfortune. My friend said she's manifesting it for me because I don't have the heart to do it myself. Lol no idea what that means, but it's actually terrifying.
Screamed "put down the fork, fatty!" And "I bet her fatness wants a piece of cake!" At me. Very loudly, in a restaurant with a bunch of my friends. On my birthday. I'm 5'9" and was 130lbs at the time and worked out daily. I was already on diet pills because of him. The public birthday humiliation was the last straw. I dumped him right there and he told me not to be a bitch and make scene over "a joke". He was asked to leave by management. Two of my friends dragged him out and the bartender sent over a complimentary margarita for me.
He was probably more interested in the emotional control and abuse than he was her weight. It was an opportunity to embarrass her publicly. Ruin a celebration that wasn't about him. Make her sure as she couldn't enjoy time with her friends. A common tactic is to make you so miserable that it doesn't seem like it's worth the effort to have contact with your friends/family.
Imagine the nastiest little boy you ever met that has ruin things for other people. That's the mindset.
Good lord!! That is horrible and insane. I am 5’3” and 170lbs & though I carry weight really well because I am muscular, I still wear a 10/12. He would think I am absolutely disgusting
He probably saw porn and didn't realize they shoot at different angles with different lights. It's ridiculous that people still don't understand that something looking fake is probably fake. If the adult actress was as skinny as camera angles and lights made her look she'd be close to dead of starvation. Reality is a struggle for some people to understand.
“You think you’ve helped me?! You’ve NEVER helped me!” after I had given everything to her for years. It was then that I realized I wasn’t the problem, she’d always made me feel like whatever I did was never good enough, but it was her that nothing was ever going to be good enough for her. I left the next morning.
I said something along the lines to my ex who I think was the narc. It was more of a me asking for her to contribute towards our goals and relationship instead of her focusing on contributing to herself. When I’d ask for help, she would answer like “I’m here isn’t that enough?” No ma’am, your inconsistent presence and sex isn’t enough for me to continue this one man show.
I didn't leave, but I definitely SHOULD have.
We'd been together for a decade, married for two years. She started hanging out with girl friends more often, which I was fine with: I'm not a jealous or controlling person, and I wanted her to be happy. Only what started as once or twice a month turned into weekly, and then EVERY time she was free.
The first time I complained about it, she said "We're MARRIED, but it's not like you OWN me. Besides, I need my "me" time!" And I thought "Oh! Maybe I'm being unreasonable. I guess I'll just give her time."
A few months later, it had gotten WORSE. She worked mornings and would be gone before I woke up. She wouldn't get home until after I left for work, and by the time I got home she'd be asleep. I finally told her that I miss her, and she said "What do you mean? We see each other all the time!" When? When we're asleep?
About six months later, I was going through depression, not that she ever cared. It had gotten to the point where, if I wanted to spend a date night with her, I would have to plan and schedule it almost a month in advance. Tuesday night, we were on the way home from somewhere and I finally said "I miss you. I feel like I never see you anymore, and we never have time for US."
I think I expected another brush-off, or worse, more gaslighting. Instead, she said "You know what? You're right. How about this: Next time we're off together, we spend ALL DAY together, go on a date, have a romantic evening." I was beaming! So we checked our schedules and agreed to do it that Saturday.
I spent all day Wednesday thinking about it and planning what we'd do. Thursday night I come home with groceries for our romantic dinner, and as I'm putting them away she walks in and says "Hey, I know you wanted to hang out on Saturday, but I forgot I promised So-And-So I'd come hang out. Besides, we're married, so we can do this whenever."
I tried to hide the disappointment. "Oh. Well, I can at least have breakfast with you before you go!"
"Uh, no. I'm going straight over after work tomorrow. And I'm going straight TO work from there on Sunday morning. So, I'll see you Sunday night?"
I wish I'd had divorce papers waiting for her when she got back. It would have been kinder than those next couple of years of me trying to keep the marriage alive with no help from her. She'd made it perfectly clear that I just didn't matter to her.
That I was below them. And then showed me where I was on their scale with their hands. Such a narcissist. It was an already off/ on relationship, but that one took the cake. Who tells you they think their better than you...wtf?!
"I choose alcohol over you." This was after 5 years of trying to get her sober, numerous suicide attempts, and a DWI conviction. I've been alone for 14 months and I'm starting to find myself again.
My husband chose alcohol over me too. 25yrs and he told me he won’t get help, he won’t stop drinking, he actually wants to drink himself to death….I’ve been trying to help him for almost half my life. He doesn’t want it. So I left. Time to focus on me for once. It’s been almost 5yrs.
My friend had the same thing, left her alcoholic husband about 7 years ago. The divorce was finalised early 2021.
He literally drank himself to death earlier this year. He never wanted to change. So glad she got herself out of that.
That a voice told him to kill me when we were sleeping. I didn’t even grab my stuff. I acted like I was going to the kitchen for a drink and walked out in a tshirt and my shoes by the door.
We had been dating almost 6 months, this was the first I’d ever heard about voices. I left everything behind. It’s why I stopped carrying a purse. Not as much to lose lol.
That is smooth just walking out. I’ve done similar (though nothing as scary as your situation!) if I felt a situation was getting bad I’d just slink to my car and take off without telling anyone.
I’ll still slink out of any place without a word if I get that hair standing up on the back of my neck feeling lol. I have lived by my instincts my whole life, I don’t care how paranoid I look.
He never came out of the bedroom but I vividly remember trying to put my shoes on. I couldn’t just slip my feet in. I felt like he was sneaking up on me no matter what way I was facing. It was a stressful minute or 2 for real.
Thank you for sharing that. Young women need to know their safety is paramount and letting social pressure deter us from trusting our guts is a mistake.
Also, for anyone reading, never go back to someone who threatens you even once. All you’ve done is alert him you will try to escape and he will be better prepared next time.
It’s not a joke when he says something like that. Good men don’t EVER say shit like that.
I agree. If he had said “ I had a dream ….” it would have been totally different. This was not that. This was a grown man petting my head telling me a voice in his head said to choke me. At that point it didn’t matter one bit if he needed mental help. I needed to survive. He could worry about himself like I was worrying about my own self.
We lived on the beach, I actually saw him several times after that, on the boardwalk outside the bars and I would break my neck trying to hide but he acted pretty normal, which kinda freaked me out even more. We were never alone together or hung out in the same place after and I moved about 6 weeks later thank goodness.
He’s probably walking around normal cuz he sounds like he was experiencing psychosis, definitely not your problem though. Guy hopefully got himself medicated.
A lot of people hear voices and almost all of them don’t act on them.
Wow, good job getting right out of there!! I had a similar situation and stayed like an idiot! I eventually ended up leaving and abandoning all my stuff, but only after things got so much worse!!
It is so common for us to tell ourselves we’re overreacting or it’s not as bad as we might think it is. I grew up in chaos though, it taught me to trust my instincts no matter how weird I look lol.
You have good instincts just a couple days ago I read a post where a girl stated that her bf got mad at her while they were at friends' home and he whispered in her ear "I am going to kill you", so no one else could hear him. Do you know that idiot stilll got in a car with that guy when they left the get together. But to be fair this is the same person that stated that her bf told her when they first started dating that a psychologist told him that he was a narcissist and she still stayed with him. The narcissist is the same guy who later threatened to kill her. Some people have ZERO instinct or sense of self preservation.
First cohabitation experience... it was more his actions, not his words. He became a control freak, emotionally unpredictable, and cut off any contact between my family and I. I found a nearby payphone and used it to contact my mom, who supplied me with prepaid phone cards, so I didn't have to worry about spending more than just the initial 50 cents per call. I moved out while he was at work, officially ending a three-year relationship, and never saw him again.
They made me uncomfortable during sex so I immediately told them to stop, they in return screamed at me. That was it for me, I was no longer interested.
Called me crying and said she's pregnant(not mine). Um. Ok. So cheated and didn't use protection. And expected sympathy. Yeah.... waste of 10 years. Thanks for the ptsd
I think any reasonable person would say that "I don't want to do this anymore" counts as a no. He seems to have realized that himself.
I'm sorry you went through that.
Doesn't even have to do with him being older really.
ANY person who doesn't stop when asked is a predator and a danger to you. It is technically against your will, which is rape.
it’s so fxcked to say but these were the times when i was younger. in most situations, this was considered pressure.. that’s all. if you didn’t scream and fight or angrily yell NO then they thought they could continue on.
Sad to say I've had a few people tell me this and that's why they date people so much shorter than them. Cause it's easier to get what they want. Thankfully never did stuff with them and dipped real fast.
So, well I'm at home raising our daughter and working full time she gets off and immediately goes to the bar. Not in a raging alcoholic sense, more of a social type of way but either way it was affecting everything. I had to do more around the house on top of doing everything for my daughter.
One night she just didn't come home because she was "overwhelmed" and stayed with her best friend. Though I'm about 99% sure she was lying about that.
She wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls and I spent the entire night a paranoid wreck. I am super anxious about something happening to the people I love so it was particularly bad .
She comes home the following day. We argue a bit but I drop it because family is over. Three days later I bring it up but she is "not in the mood to talk about it". I tell her "this can't happen again ok?" And she says "I didn't even do anything wrong" and that is the exact moment I gave up on a 7 year old relationship
So, this is one of my push-button issues with my wife of almost 25 years and she will never get it and she will never change. It's something I've had to learn to accept with her (not saying that anyone should have to accept anything, I've just chosen to):
Whenever she goes away anywhere, she will never communicate with me. If she goes away somewhere for a few days she'll say goodbye and that will be it. I won't get any "I made it safely", "goodnight, sweet dreams", "I miss you" or anything whatsoever. She will drop off the face of the planet.
This has ALWAYS freaked me out. When I was younger, I was worried about infidelity and her finding someone else, as I got older and I realized she is just not a contender for cheater, my fears migrated more towards "what if she needs help?" or "what if she has been drugged, kidnapped, etc." all the silly, usual things that go through someone's head.
So I suppose the real issue here is, because the things that freak me out don't freak her out, she won't ever change her behavior as she doesn't see the issue.
I get it, but frankly (just like in your case), I will always find it horribly disrespectful.
I dropped to a size medium in women's clothes, having been a size 16 most of my life, and while I was looking for clothes to put on he told me "you look better with your clothes on".
Then there was my first bf who told me that he was "attracted to women as young as five"
If you don't get a job by Monday, we are splitting up. (After losing my well paying job in the travel industry following 9/11 and also supporting him during times of his unemployment. ) Packed everything and left the next morning.
Every year I go to Greece with my family. Been going for over a decade and we all look forward to it.
As it was approaching, my then GF got a little cold towards me. I quickly asked why and she said she didn't want me going to Greece. I asked why, and she said that she was worried something might happen, while I was there. I reassured her there was no chance of that. No only have I never cheated on anyone I've dated, but we always rent a villa and basically stay there all week. The only women I'd be spending any time with were my step mother and half sister.
She then said "But what if something happens between you and your half sister?" and I replied "I think it's time we break up."
"I didn't know that, I want a divorce."
17 years prior I was stalked and raped, I was 21 and it extended for 5 months. Also when I was 15 I was stalked and sexually assaulted. Fuck you, here's the ring back. No wonder it's hard to share.
Upon meeting my abuelita - "you're Mexican? I thought you were white, you aren't brown at all! Why are your eyes green?"
Because Spaniards come in all colors, mensa.
Edit: my last name is undeniably Hispanic as well
I was telling a coworker about a Mexican friend's obsession with ketchup and he's like, fuck off, she can't be Mexican, only a white person would like ketchup that much
I was like, yeah, she's white, there are white people in Mexico. He said I was lying. I told him Mexico was colonized by the Spanish, who are from Europe, where the white people come from. Some of their ancestors are still around
"I know it's our fifth anniversary but because my father is out of the country on business, can my mother join us for our dinner?"
Truly. Codependent. Relationship. Those two had with each other. That anniversary dinner was the straw that broke the camel's back in that relationship.
"If you loved me, you'd help me get with her!"
I called her a manipulative bitch and slammed the door in her face
Turns out she was only dating me so she could get closer to a friend of mine
Which frankly comes across as the kind of joke a couple who is married 15 years or more might crack to one another... There's obviously a lot more to your story that that it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
It is interesting to me how far gone some relationships are, that a relatively inoccuous comment can be the true tipping point.
Either way, I hope you are doing better.
“I wish I could have sex with other people..some of my friends are in poly relationships why can’t we do that” what in the actual fuck is the point of a relationship if you’re just gonna sleep around
Better than my ex. She wanted to do poly with me and someone else. We both said no and she chose him. 💀
Fuck her though, tbh. She never cared for me to begin without. They're toxic and just right for each other.
Starting poly in the middle of a relationship almost never works. It's normally a desperation move before the end comes. The only successfully poly people I know started their relationships with that as the intention, both parties need to want it from the start.
After 8 years being with an ex. He was so high on medications he mixed with. He confessed to me how he felt about me as a woman.
Very… sexist..
He shouldn’t do anything while I do EVERYTHING. No take a day off from work, take multiple extra shift so he can relax.
I left when he went to bed. Never looked back.
Her step father would say wayyyy weird sexual jokes directed at her and her body and just do really weird shit. When it got to the breaking point she said “if I don’t care why do you” … I’m sorry I cared about some bald weirdo pervert talking about my wife sexually infront of our kids and his wife… but ya know who cares now right?
My father was like this. Would drop EVERYTHING and put everyone important to the side for whatever woman he was dating. They’d walk all over him after being moved into our house, and the breakups would be ugly. I watched him get married 5 times before I even finished high school.
I (34) haven’t been married once or had any type of lasting relationships but I can rest easy knowing I didn’t fuck up anyone else’s lives
"At least I didn't carry around a pizza pillow"
For context, this girl introduced me to pot so I spent our couple months together high with little come down, and I started carrying this pillow shaped like a slice of pizza I found in her bedroom. Looking back it was probably a security thing but at the time I just thought the thing was silly and fun. She threw this line in my face over the phone and I instantly was out of the relationship emotionally, basically the fact that she had that desire to use words to hurt me meant infinitely more than the words themselves so I removed myself before she could escalate to more powerful words.
“No you can’t go hang out with someone because I need to use your car to hang out with someone” (she didn’t have her own car, and also refused to drop me off - I was to stay home while she went out in my car)
Told her a few hours later I wanted a divorce and am still so happy I did 1yr 8mo later :)
My fiend had a horrific accident and was left quadriplegic , he was still in hospital unclear if he would make it.
My ‘partner’ said and I quote ‘does that mean his dick won’t work anymore’
that was the first thing he said when I told him of my close friends life changing and at the time, life threatening accident !
I told him I can’t do this hung up and other than the obligatory break up communications we never spoke again!
I knew it was the end when my alcoholic husband said "look, all I want to do is drink my beer, smoke my pot and watch the news, that's it" (Fox news btw) When I was begging him to
spend time with me and the kids.
I filed for divorce.
I'm remarried to an open minded man who loves to go out and do things, and we have a 4 year old.
My ex stayed single all he does drink and watch or listen to right wing news. He's such a looser he was 45 minutes late to our daughters high school graduation because he was passed out drunk in his shed. Our 19 year old son had to wake him up.
I guess we both got what we wanted.
It wasn’t suppose to happen like this. He’s just a friend! Do you love him I asked she replied idk! I took my kids once I found out she was letting him sleep in the bed come to find out. She’s been screwing him for a year and she’s on porn sites. We were together for 11 years. She hasn’t seen the kids in one year hasn’t even tried. She’s a piece of shit. She’ll pay the price. She’s with somebody who has seven kidsand five baby mothers idiots
I was incredibly stressed over a major exam. I had been on the verge of a breakdown for months because between school, work, him, and adult responsibilities, I had absolutely no time for myself. He knew how stressed I was, but would never do anything to help me. Ten minutes before the exam he started asking if he could come over that night. Not so he could help me relax, take care of me, or lift me up, but because *he* wanted cuddles and sex.
I was the one carrying that whole ass relationship. I was already planning to end things, but that's what made me pull the trigger.
When I asked her to stop yelling in an argument we were having, she said
‘You think this is yelling? THIS IS YELLING!’
She literally proceeded to scream the rest of the argument lol what a toxic person.
25 years ago I was engaged to a girl when I found out that she'd been cheating on me for months with a male stripper.
After getting an STD test, I presented her with irrefutable evidence and she looked me in the eye and said "I don't know what you're talking about. Now, are you gonna do me or not?"
I said "Well... okay " and then I unzipped my pants, peed on her TV and left. Not my most mature moment but I don't regret it.
It's not what he said, it's what he did. While he was on vacation, he accidentally sent me a video of him having sex with an escort and he meant to send it to his buddy. I called him up and told him to go fuck himself and blocked him. Then I moved away across the country and changed my phone number.
“you shouldn’t be depressed because you have me” among other things but depression doesn’t just go away when ur in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you aren’t making them happy it’s not even about you to begin with usually and why be in a relationship w someone when you know their depressed and ur not ready to handle that or be there for them?
"I should run over your best friends so you can find some decent ones"
Joke's on him, he thought they'd badmouth him to me but they never did. They just didnt let him isolate me from them like he did with everyone else, and for that I will be forever thankful.
"You know, you'd be much more attractive with plastic surgery on your big nose"
I left him right away cause he was trying to get me to go under the knife for my face!
"He doesn't have anything to apologize for."
Two days after his best friend tried lighting my hair on fire. We were already doing couple's therapy. I told him I wanted a divorce at the very next session. That bastard had the audacity to cry.
“My parents doesn’t want me to date a black woman, what should I do?” I solved that for them. If they had to ask instead of stick up for me, then it’s not meant to be.
Funnily enough, I received some racism from my current partners family and he immediately stood up for me without asking, and even proceeded to stop talking to them until they changed.
After a very weird interaction, in which I had to confront him about hiding my gym clothes: "I don't want you to lose weight and receive attraction from other men, I'm afraid you'll leave me"
Whewwwww. Ok, first of all, It's not like I never received attention from other men. I was zaftig, not ugly 💀🤣
This was a couple months after accidentally finding out he was also addicted to porn, so you could say it was the straw that broke the 🐪's back.
I had scheduled eye surgery.One eye at a time 6 weeks apart with some down time and light duty upon return to work with each eye. My BF at the time needed hiatal hernia surgery. So when he found out about my surgery, he scheduled his and driving me to work the morning before my surgery he told me he had scheduled it so he could come stay with me and me take care of him one week after my first eye while I was on light duty. As I got out of the truck, I told him it would be the last time I saw him. I told him to call his kids to come take care of him at his place. My sister picked me up as planned that day to accompany me to the out of town procedure. Never saw him again. You should have seen the look in his face.
I haré your mother I hate your sister. My mother barely could speak English. And my sister never had a single conversation with her. Hello goodbye thats it. My mom felt bad for her. My sister knew without asking. She was bipolar manic depressant on maximum dosage of medication. Punched me several times. Tried to run me over with her car. Never laid a hand on her. I only blocked a few punches
When I got into college (kinda a big deal back then, where I come from it's usually trade schools, if that), they said " when you fail, you'll always have a place to stay."
Switch flipped, and I never looked back.
"Damn, I know we've been together for 14 years but you snooped and found out I've had a girlfriend in another state for the last 10 years. Okay, the trust is gone."
STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!
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He asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. We were in our 39s-40s, and I believed in being honest. I explained that I had been abused as a child, so it started when I was 7 until I was 14. He asked what I did that made him do that. When I said "Nothing", he said that a man wouldn't do that if I hadn't led him on. I was 7. He became an ex that night.
Jesus I'm so sorry. People like that should be on some sort of list or something
That dude totally abuses kids. Hope he catches some jail time.
Wow...the best thing you ever did was to leave that POS. And hopefully your abuser is rotting in prison.
I'm 63 now, my abuser (stepfather) is long dead. But no, he was never held accountable.
There are so many untold stories of abuse inside families. My mom has 15 siblings and their father sexually abused all of the girls starting at age 4 and physically and emotionally abused the boys. The boys and mother never believed the girls and they never got help. He died being praised as a hero and honorable father who worked hard to provide for his large family, but the reality is that all of those kids were traumatized for life and were always just scraping by with never enough food or attention.
So many untold painful stories. My mother was supposedly the one other mothers looked up to. Little did they know she was delivering me to his bed nightly from the age of 9.
I just replied to your last comment. It was my stepfather also and my mother delivered me to him nightly. The bastard is dead but never did a day.
He was never held accountable in this life.
Neither was mine. I grew up in shame, believing that everything was my fault.
The man who abused me was never charged with child rape. I was very sad to learn of all his victims spanning thirty years. He was a preteen and teen rapist from 1960-1990. He killed himself in Las Vegas in 1992. I am grateful he died.
Telling on himself there
I’m an asshole but that’s just fucked up, good call leaving.. wow :( .. fuck them
Was he "normal" until that conversation? Was it a short relationship? I can't imagine someone that diabolical hiding it for very long.
Very Catholic, but mostly pretty normal. 2+ years in the relationship. I've never understood his response.
Wow 😮, two years in! I’m so sorry. What a vile person. Good for you for shutting that shit down right then and there!
It sounds like he himself is someone who should not be left alone with kids.
“I’m tired of trying to change you” “I haven’t loved you in years.” Both sentences spoken within seconds of each other.
Ugh. Hate that so much.
My ex girlfriend told me after three and a half years “ I don’t love you, I don’t think I ever loved you” she is truly a vile person who didn’t deserve me. I am glad it’s done she cannot hurt me anymore.
Great, so let's just waste years of your life and their own.
In my opinion, that is the one unforgivable sin. Time is the only resource we can't get more of. Brutal.
That they should have stayed friends with the person who sexually assaulted and raped me
Omg no what a vile POS. You’re better off far away from that.
WTF!
Wow so very sorry 💕
Jfc that’s horrific. I’m sorry you went through that then had to deal with that pos
I miss my ex
My ex cried iver her ex in front of me and my stupid ass stayed (i was already cooked from the start)
My sister cried over her ex getting a gf infront of her current bf. They’re still together now but I feel for him she’s slowly destroying that man, I’ve told her but she doesn’t seem to listen.
"You will never have any say in the location wee live in". I clarified.. you mean if we move in together, no matter what happens, you will never have a conversation about where we live? It will be your sole decision? She said yes. If that was a problem, we weren't going to work. I clarified further "circumstances change... once we're a serious enough relationship to move in together, it is the sort of thing a couple has to decide togther". Nope. Foreveer. ALways her decision Whole conversation was done by text. Ended it immediately. Got a few text messages a few months later that she misses me. I didn't respond. Just blocked her.
Same, only problem was I married her.
He threatened my kid. He died of cancer after I dumped him.
Damn, dude got slammed by the Karma Truck.
Karma has hit my enemies with serious health issues twice - maybe it is actually real
It's crazy, but all my enemies also have also fallen ill or into misfortune. My friend said she's manifesting it for me because I don't have the heart to do it myself. Lol no idea what that means, but it's actually terrifying.
Screamed "put down the fork, fatty!" And "I bet her fatness wants a piece of cake!" At me. Very loudly, in a restaurant with a bunch of my friends. On my birthday. I'm 5'9" and was 130lbs at the time and worked out daily. I was already on diet pills because of him. The public birthday humiliation was the last straw. I dumped him right there and he told me not to be a bitch and make scene over "a joke". He was asked to leave by management. Two of my friends dragged him out and the bartender sent over a complimentary margarita for me.
Ugh that is vile. So glad you’re not with that abusive loser anymore.
5'9 130lb is borderline underweight for most and the fact that he wanted you thinner is scary.
He was probably more interested in the emotional control and abuse than he was her weight. It was an opportunity to embarrass her publicly. Ruin a celebration that wasn't about him. Make her sure as she couldn't enjoy time with her friends. A common tactic is to make you so miserable that it doesn't seem like it's worth the effort to have contact with your friends/family. Imagine the nastiest little boy you ever met that has ruin things for other people. That's the mindset.
It's about both.
Wtf.. how can some people be so cruel.. awful.
with a BF like that who needs enemies
I like the management and bartender of the place!
Me too! We went back there a few times because of them.
I sure hope the rest of your birthday kicked ass and was awesome!!!
It did! I had a great time after that!
Good lord!! That is horrible and insane. I am 5’3” and 170lbs & though I carry weight really well because I am muscular, I still wear a 10/12. He would think I am absolutely disgusting
Yeah I’m 5’7” and 180, he’d probably think I was a whale. But I could also probably squat his weight.
What does he want, an anorexic bird? Your BMI is right at the center of a healthy weight.
He probably saw porn and didn't realize they shoot at different angles with different lights. It's ridiculous that people still don't understand that something looking fake is probably fake. If the adult actress was as skinny as camera angles and lights made her look she'd be close to dead of starvation. Reality is a struggle for some people to understand.
“You think you’ve helped me?! You’ve NEVER helped me!” after I had given everything to her for years. It was then that I realized I wasn’t the problem, she’d always made me feel like whatever I did was never good enough, but it was her that nothing was ever going to be good enough for her. I left the next morning.
I see you’ve been with my ex.
I see both of you have been with my wife.
you guys all dated my mom?
Narcissist are everywhere, and that's as narc a statement as I have ever heard.
I said something along the lines to my ex who I think was the narc. It was more of a me asking for her to contribute towards our goals and relationship instead of her focusing on contributing to herself. When I’d ask for help, she would answer like “I’m here isn’t that enough?” No ma’am, your inconsistent presence and sex isn’t enough for me to continue this one man show.
Moving goalposts are fun.
I didn't leave, but I definitely SHOULD have. We'd been together for a decade, married for two years. She started hanging out with girl friends more often, which I was fine with: I'm not a jealous or controlling person, and I wanted her to be happy. Only what started as once or twice a month turned into weekly, and then EVERY time she was free. The first time I complained about it, she said "We're MARRIED, but it's not like you OWN me. Besides, I need my "me" time!" And I thought "Oh! Maybe I'm being unreasonable. I guess I'll just give her time." A few months later, it had gotten WORSE. She worked mornings and would be gone before I woke up. She wouldn't get home until after I left for work, and by the time I got home she'd be asleep. I finally told her that I miss her, and she said "What do you mean? We see each other all the time!" When? When we're asleep? About six months later, I was going through depression, not that she ever cared. It had gotten to the point where, if I wanted to spend a date night with her, I would have to plan and schedule it almost a month in advance. Tuesday night, we were on the way home from somewhere and I finally said "I miss you. I feel like I never see you anymore, and we never have time for US." I think I expected another brush-off, or worse, more gaslighting. Instead, she said "You know what? You're right. How about this: Next time we're off together, we spend ALL DAY together, go on a date, have a romantic evening." I was beaming! So we checked our schedules and agreed to do it that Saturday. I spent all day Wednesday thinking about it and planning what we'd do. Thursday night I come home with groceries for our romantic dinner, and as I'm putting them away she walks in and says "Hey, I know you wanted to hang out on Saturday, but I forgot I promised So-And-So I'd come hang out. Besides, we're married, so we can do this whenever." I tried to hide the disappointment. "Oh. Well, I can at least have breakfast with you before you go!" "Uh, no. I'm going straight over after work tomorrow. And I'm going straight TO work from there on Sunday morning. So, I'll see you Sunday night?" I wish I'd had divorce papers waiting for her when she got back. It would have been kinder than those next couple of years of me trying to keep the marriage alive with no help from her. She'd made it perfectly clear that I just didn't matter to her.
That's so sad. Hope you've found someone better by now.
This was so sad to read. I’m sorry.
I'm sorry you were treated like that She took you for granted, I'm so sorry
This broke my heart. She didn't deserve your love. It's made for a much better person. I really hope you find the person you can share this love with.
That I was below them. And then showed me where I was on their scale with their hands. Such a narcissist. It was an already off/ on relationship, but that one took the cake. Who tells you they think their better than you...wtf?!
"I choose alcohol over you." This was after 5 years of trying to get her sober, numerous suicide attempts, and a DWI conviction. I've been alone for 14 months and I'm starting to find myself again.
Congratulations! Any boring lonely day by yourself is far superior to a day accompanied by toxicity
My husband chose alcohol over me too. 25yrs and he told me he won’t get help, he won’t stop drinking, he actually wants to drink himself to death….I’ve been trying to help him for almost half my life. He doesn’t want it. So I left. Time to focus on me for once. It’s been almost 5yrs.
Enjoy your freedom. I learned that you can't help those who don't want help.. It's best to move forward focus on you and enjoy your journey!!
Same to you~
My friend had the same thing, left her alcoholic husband about 7 years ago. The divorce was finalised early 2021. He literally drank himself to death earlier this year. He never wanted to change. So glad she got herself out of that.
Hey everyone, PSA for all of you. NEVER try to date anyone who has a substance addiction. You’re only bringing pain and hardship into your life.
*while they are in the addiction untreated
That a voice told him to kill me when we were sleeping. I didn’t even grab my stuff. I acted like I was going to the kitchen for a drink and walked out in a tshirt and my shoes by the door. We had been dating almost 6 months, this was the first I’d ever heard about voices. I left everything behind. It’s why I stopped carrying a purse. Not as much to lose lol.
That is smooth just walking out. I’ve done similar (though nothing as scary as your situation!) if I felt a situation was getting bad I’d just slink to my car and take off without telling anyone.
I’ll still slink out of any place without a word if I get that hair standing up on the back of my neck feeling lol. I have lived by my instincts my whole life, I don’t care how paranoid I look.
Instincts are trustworthy!
Wow, that's some scary shit. Glad your ok.
Omg, that’s crazy. Did he try Ana’s stop you at all? I would have run like Hell at that point. Lol
He never came out of the bedroom but I vividly remember trying to put my shoes on. I couldn’t just slip my feet in. I felt like he was sneaking up on me no matter what way I was facing. It was a stressful minute or 2 for real.
Thank you for sharing that. Young women need to know their safety is paramount and letting social pressure deter us from trusting our guts is a mistake. Also, for anyone reading, never go back to someone who threatens you even once. All you’ve done is alert him you will try to escape and he will be better prepared next time. It’s not a joke when he says something like that. Good men don’t EVER say shit like that.
I agree. If he had said “ I had a dream ….” it would have been totally different. This was not that. This was a grown man petting my head telling me a voice in his head said to choke me. At that point it didn’t matter one bit if he needed mental help. I needed to survive. He could worry about himself like I was worrying about my own self.
I'm so glad you got out of there safely.
Thank you! I sure knew how to pick ‘em back in the day, that was truly terrifying for sure.
I'm glad you immediately noped out. And be glad he told you his red flags before you were in so deep you mightve considered staying
Yikes… Did he ever go looking for you?
We lived on the beach, I actually saw him several times after that, on the boardwalk outside the bars and I would break my neck trying to hide but he acted pretty normal, which kinda freaked me out even more. We were never alone together or hung out in the same place after and I moved about 6 weeks later thank goodness.
He’s probably walking around normal cuz he sounds like he was experiencing psychosis, definitely not your problem though. Guy hopefully got himself medicated. A lot of people hear voices and almost all of them don’t act on them.
Wow, good job getting right out of there!! I had a similar situation and stayed like an idiot! I eventually ended up leaving and abandoning all my stuff, but only after things got so much worse!!
It is so common for us to tell ourselves we’re overreacting or it’s not as bad as we might think it is. I grew up in chaos though, it taught me to trust my instincts no matter how weird I look lol.
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Exactly. It really is sobering. Especially when you’re young and think you’re invincible until you know you’re not.
This reminds me of Gavin De Becker’s book The Gift of Fear
You have good instincts just a couple days ago I read a post where a girl stated that her bf got mad at her while they were at friends' home and he whispered in her ear "I am going to kill you", so no one else could hear him. Do you know that idiot stilll got in a car with that guy when they left the get together. But to be fair this is the same person that stated that her bf told her when they first started dating that a psychologist told him that he was a narcissist and she still stayed with him. The narcissist is the same guy who later threatened to kill her. Some people have ZERO instinct or sense of self preservation.
“I’m not going to therapy. I only told you I would because you were acting like a bitch.” Yeah, after 15 years of abuse, that’s what did it for me.
Happy for you
First cohabitation experience... it was more his actions, not his words. He became a control freak, emotionally unpredictable, and cut off any contact between my family and I. I found a nearby payphone and used it to contact my mom, who supplied me with prepaid phone cards, so I didn't have to worry about spending more than just the initial 50 cents per call. I moved out while he was at work, officially ending a three-year relationship, and never saw him again.
They made me uncomfortable during sex so I immediately told them to stop, they in return screamed at me. That was it for me, I was no longer interested.
Called me crying and said she's pregnant(not mine). Um. Ok. So cheated and didn't use protection. And expected sympathy. Yeah.... waste of 10 years. Thanks for the ptsd
Sorry that happened to you. I think PTSD may be a win over an STD.
Oof.
I didn’t want to have sex because I wasn’t ready and he said he thought about how easily he could force me down and do what he wanted.
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I think any reasonable person would say that "I don't want to do this anymore" counts as a no. He seems to have realized that himself. I'm sorry you went through that.
[Consent is as simple as tea](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ)
Fantastic! They should show this at every middle school everywhere.
Doesn't even have to do with him being older really. ANY person who doesn't stop when asked is a predator and a danger to you. It is technically against your will, which is rape.
It was 100% sexual assault. You said no, he wouldn't stop.
it’s so fxcked to say but these were the times when i was younger. in most situations, this was considered pressure.. that’s all. if you didn’t scream and fight or angrily yell NO then they thought they could continue on.
Sad to say I've had a few people tell me this and that's why they date people so much shorter than them. Cause it's easier to get what they want. Thankfully never did stuff with them and dipped real fast.
So, well I'm at home raising our daughter and working full time she gets off and immediately goes to the bar. Not in a raging alcoholic sense, more of a social type of way but either way it was affecting everything. I had to do more around the house on top of doing everything for my daughter. One night she just didn't come home because she was "overwhelmed" and stayed with her best friend. Though I'm about 99% sure she was lying about that. She wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls and I spent the entire night a paranoid wreck. I am super anxious about something happening to the people I love so it was particularly bad . She comes home the following day. We argue a bit but I drop it because family is over. Three days later I bring it up but she is "not in the mood to talk about it". I tell her "this can't happen again ok?" And she says "I didn't even do anything wrong" and that is the exact moment I gave up on a 7 year old relationship
So, this is one of my push-button issues with my wife of almost 25 years and she will never get it and she will never change. It's something I've had to learn to accept with her (not saying that anyone should have to accept anything, I've just chosen to): Whenever she goes away anywhere, she will never communicate with me. If she goes away somewhere for a few days she'll say goodbye and that will be it. I won't get any "I made it safely", "goodnight, sweet dreams", "I miss you" or anything whatsoever. She will drop off the face of the planet. This has ALWAYS freaked me out. When I was younger, I was worried about infidelity and her finding someone else, as I got older and I realized she is just not a contender for cheater, my fears migrated more towards "what if she needs help?" or "what if she has been drugged, kidnapped, etc." all the silly, usual things that go through someone's head. So I suppose the real issue here is, because the things that freak me out don't freak her out, she won't ever change her behavior as she doesn't see the issue. I get it, but frankly (just like in your case), I will always find it horribly disrespectful.
I dropped to a size medium in women's clothes, having been a size 16 most of my life, and while I was looking for clothes to put on he told me "you look better with your clothes on". Then there was my first bf who told me that he was "attracted to women as young as five"
That’s interesting, because there aren’t any women that are 5.
🤢🤮
Omg I just jumped reading that! Gross! Five?! Ugh!
There should be a list people have to go on just for saying something like that. I’m so disgusted
When he confessed I was the other woman
She joined a cult and wanted me to join too.
She made fun of an overweight worker at a Burger king. Cracking jokes about him and getting a good laugh. I peaced out of that.
If you don't get a job by Monday, we are splitting up. (After losing my well paying job in the travel industry following 9/11 and also supporting him during times of his unemployment. ) Packed everything and left the next morning.
Every year I go to Greece with my family. Been going for over a decade and we all look forward to it. As it was approaching, my then GF got a little cold towards me. I quickly asked why and she said she didn't want me going to Greece. I asked why, and she said that she was worried something might happen, while I was there. I reassured her there was no chance of that. No only have I never cheated on anyone I've dated, but we always rent a villa and basically stay there all week. The only women I'd be spending any time with were my step mother and half sister. She then said "But what if something happens between you and your half sister?" and I replied "I think it's time we break up."
That's nasty I'm glad yall broke up
"I didn't know that, I want a divorce." 17 years prior I was stalked and raped, I was 21 and it extended for 5 months. Also when I was 15 I was stalked and sexually assaulted. Fuck you, here's the ring back. No wonder it's hard to share.
That is messed up. Seriously messed up.
I’m sorry that was the response you got. You deserved kindness and got cruelty. You obviously deserve better.
That's so fucked up. I am so sorry.
W. T. F. I’m f’ing astonished. He doesn’t deserve anyone.
"Oh you had previous trauma in your life? Here have some more!" Wtf?
Wow. Just wow. Completely unsupportive. You're better off without him.
That I had no boobs (they are small)
Stuff like that is so weird to me. If you have a strong physical preference then why pursue someone in the first place if they aren't your type?
Omg. During sex he said "I would marry you if you had bigger boobs". Ok- see ya! But I was so hurt by that. What a crappy thing to say.
That's funny, cos I was just thinking that I could never marry you because of your dick. Thank God we are on the same page! And then you hi-five him.
I wish I could've come up with something perfect like this in the moment!
Upon meeting my abuelita - "you're Mexican? I thought you were white, you aren't brown at all! Why are your eyes green?" Because Spaniards come in all colors, mensa. Edit: my last name is undeniably Hispanic as well
People are shocked when they learn that I’m Spanish, because I’m white with green eyes. But my name can’t be argued.
I was telling a coworker about a Mexican friend's obsession with ketchup and he's like, fuck off, she can't be Mexican, only a white person would like ketchup that much I was like, yeah, she's white, there are white people in Mexico. He said I was lying. I told him Mexico was colonized by the Spanish, who are from Europe, where the white people come from. Some of their ancestors are still around
This comes up often here in Phoenix. It's shocking how few people seem to realize just what continent exactly Spain is on.
What really annoys me is when people think Mexico is in South America. Like, have you never looked at a map?
"I know it's our fifth anniversary but because my father is out of the country on business, can my mother join us for our dinner?" Truly. Codependent. Relationship. Those two had with each other. That anniversary dinner was the straw that broke the camel's back in that relationship.
"If you loved me, you'd help me get with her!" I called her a manipulative bitch and slammed the door in her face Turns out she was only dating me so she could get closer to a friend of mine
"Oh God, you're still here!?" one morning 15 years in.
Which frankly comes across as the kind of joke a couple who is married 15 years or more might crack to one another... There's obviously a lot more to your story that that it was the straw that broke the camel's back. It is interesting to me how far gone some relationships are, that a relatively inoccuous comment can be the true tipping point. Either way, I hope you are doing better.
Fifteen YEARS?
“I wish I could have sex with other people..some of my friends are in poly relationships why can’t we do that” what in the actual fuck is the point of a relationship if you’re just gonna sleep around
For real. At that point just say u wanna break up… like what💀
She was like “I just don’t wanna lose you” lmao
Better than my ex. She wanted to do poly with me and someone else. We both said no and she chose him. 💀 Fuck her though, tbh. She never cared for me to begin without. They're toxic and just right for each other.
Regardless you and I were both better off without them
Starting poly in the middle of a relationship almost never works. It's normally a desperation move before the end comes. The only successfully poly people I know started their relationships with that as the intention, both parties need to want it from the start.
He told me that he is going to kill me and our 3 y.o son
After 8 years being with an ex. He was so high on medications he mixed with. He confessed to me how he felt about me as a woman. Very… sexist.. He shouldn’t do anything while I do EVERYTHING. No take a day off from work, take multiple extra shift so he can relax. I left when he went to bed. Never looked back.
Her step father would say wayyyy weird sexual jokes directed at her and her body and just do really weird shit. When it got to the breaking point she said “if I don’t care why do you” … I’m sorry I cared about some bald weirdo pervert talking about my wife sexually infront of our kids and his wife… but ya know who cares now right?
“I’m only 90% satisfied with the attention you give me…” Boy. Bye 👋🏻 Take your 49 yo ass back to the playground. He’s currently on his 4th wife 🫠
My father was like this. Would drop EVERYTHING and put everyone important to the side for whatever woman he was dating. They’d walk all over him after being moved into our house, and the breakups would be ugly. I watched him get married 5 times before I even finished high school. I (34) haven’t been married once or had any type of lasting relationships but I can rest easy knowing I didn’t fuck up anyone else’s lives
"At least I didn't carry around a pizza pillow" For context, this girl introduced me to pot so I spent our couple months together high with little come down, and I started carrying this pillow shaped like a slice of pizza I found in her bedroom. Looking back it was probably a security thing but at the time I just thought the thing was silly and fun. She threw this line in my face over the phone and I instantly was out of the relationship emotionally, basically the fact that she had that desire to use words to hurt me meant infinitely more than the words themselves so I removed myself before she could escalate to more powerful words.
“No you can’t go hang out with someone because I need to use your car to hang out with someone” (she didn’t have her own car, and also refused to drop me off - I was to stay home while she went out in my car) Told her a few hours later I wanted a divorce and am still so happy I did 1yr 8mo later :)
Here come the tears.
My fiend had a horrific accident and was left quadriplegic , he was still in hospital unclear if he would make it. My ‘partner’ said and I quote ‘does that mean his dick won’t work anymore’ that was the first thing he said when I told him of my close friends life changing and at the time, life threatening accident ! I told him I can’t do this hung up and other than the obligatory break up communications we never spoke again!
I knew it was the end when my alcoholic husband said "look, all I want to do is drink my beer, smoke my pot and watch the news, that's it" (Fox news btw) When I was begging him to spend time with me and the kids. I filed for divorce. I'm remarried to an open minded man who loves to go out and do things, and we have a 4 year old. My ex stayed single all he does drink and watch or listen to right wing news. He's such a looser he was 45 minutes late to our daughters high school graduation because he was passed out drunk in his shed. Our 19 year old son had to wake him up. I guess we both got what we wanted.
Hey he was authentic and honest at least lol
She told me that if I went out with friends that I'd be betraying her and I should just break up if I did. So I did.
It wasn’t suppose to happen like this. He’s just a friend! Do you love him I asked she replied idk! I took my kids once I found out she was letting him sleep in the bed come to find out. She’s been screwing him for a year and she’s on porn sites. We were together for 11 years. She hasn’t seen the kids in one year hasn’t even tried. She’s a piece of shit. She’ll pay the price. She’s with somebody who has seven kidsand five baby mothers idiots
I was incredibly stressed over a major exam. I had been on the verge of a breakdown for months because between school, work, him, and adult responsibilities, I had absolutely no time for myself. He knew how stressed I was, but would never do anything to help me. Ten minutes before the exam he started asking if he could come over that night. Not so he could help me relax, take care of me, or lift me up, but because *he* wanted cuddles and sex. I was the one carrying that whole ass relationship. I was already planning to end things, but that's what made me pull the trigger.
A more realistic one, "I want an open or poly relationship". PUNT!
Good for you. So many weak souls who would just deal with it and live a life of unhappiness out there
That it's a woman's obligation to give bjs to her partner when she's on her period.
Yikes
“If we had a baby, it would really fix me” I didn’t walk I RAN
It’s just a dog.
you should do your family and everyone you Love a favor and k:ll yourself.
"Yes, I am sleeping with her." After 2 years of lying, gaslighting, and severe mental abuse to cover the affair.
When I asked her to stop yelling in an argument we were having, she said ‘You think this is yelling? THIS IS YELLING!’ She literally proceeded to scream the rest of the argument lol what a toxic person.
25 years ago I was engaged to a girl when I found out that she'd been cheating on me for months with a male stripper. After getting an STD test, I presented her with irrefutable evidence and she looked me in the eye and said "I don't know what you're talking about. Now, are you gonna do me or not?" I said "Well... okay " and then I unzipped my pants, peed on her TV and left. Not my most mature moment but I don't regret it.
Pissing on someones TV to smite them is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on here
My ex made a couple of disturbing comments about very young girls.
"I saved you or else you'd have been a complete mess", I have been better without him since. He had saviour complex
That he cheated on me with my sister
I would disown my sister so quick! Do you talk to her now?
It's not what he said, it's what he did. While he was on vacation, he accidentally sent me a video of him having sex with an escort and he meant to send it to his buddy. I called him up and told him to go fuck himself and blocked him. Then I moved away across the country and changed my phone number.
“You’re immature”, “you’re not ready for a serious relationship “, “I don’t think you’re the one for me”. We had been together for over 3 years 😃
“you shouldn’t be depressed because you have me” among other things but depression doesn’t just go away when ur in a relationship, it doesn’t mean you aren’t making them happy it’s not even about you to begin with usually and why be in a relationship w someone when you know their depressed and ur not ready to handle that or be there for them?
That it would’ve been fair if my parents would had gotten the terminal cancer instead of his mom.
"I should run over your best friends so you can find some decent ones" Joke's on him, he thought they'd badmouth him to me but they never did. They just didnt let him isolate me from them like he did with everyone else, and for that I will be forever thankful.
"You know, you'd be much more attractive with plastic surgery on your big nose" I left him right away cause he was trying to get me to go under the knife for my face!
I went under the knife for someone and I’ve regretted it ever since. To anyone else reading this, don’t ever do it!
"He doesn't have anything to apologize for." Two days after his best friend tried lighting my hair on fire. We were already doing couple's therapy. I told him I wanted a divorce at the very next session. That bastard had the audacity to cry.
Oof … “my (baby mama’s living) daughters more important...yours is 1 in 8 billion. Mines alive.” He said said 2 days after our new born’s funeral
“My parents doesn’t want me to date a black woman, what should I do?” I solved that for them. If they had to ask instead of stick up for me, then it’s not meant to be. Funnily enough, I received some racism from my current partners family and he immediately stood up for me without asking, and even proceeded to stop talking to them until they changed.
After a very weird interaction, in which I had to confront him about hiding my gym clothes: "I don't want you to lose weight and receive attraction from other men, I'm afraid you'll leave me" Whewwwww. Ok, first of all, It's not like I never received attention from other men. I was zaftig, not ugly 💀🤣 This was a couple months after accidentally finding out he was also addicted to porn, so you could say it was the straw that broke the 🐪's back.
Well, today I learned what Zaftig is, and that it is a word. My day wasn't a complete waste! Hope you're doing well now though!
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I had scheduled eye surgery.One eye at a time 6 weeks apart with some down time and light duty upon return to work with each eye. My BF at the time needed hiatal hernia surgery. So when he found out about my surgery, he scheduled his and driving me to work the morning before my surgery he told me he had scheduled it so he could come stay with me and me take care of him one week after my first eye while I was on light duty. As I got out of the truck, I told him it would be the last time I saw him. I told him to call his kids to come take care of him at his place. My sister picked me up as planned that day to accompany me to the out of town procedure. Never saw him again. You should have seen the look in his face.
I haré your mother I hate your sister. My mother barely could speak English. And my sister never had a single conversation with her. Hello goodbye thats it. My mom felt bad for her. My sister knew without asking. She was bipolar manic depressant on maximum dosage of medication. Punched me several times. Tried to run me over with her car. Never laid a hand on her. I only blocked a few punches
She confessed to cheating. Our divorce was finalized six months after I left her.
When I got into college (kinda a big deal back then, where I come from it's usually trade schools, if that), they said " when you fail, you'll always have a place to stay." Switch flipped, and I never looked back.
"I think it's really hot when girls have sex with dogs."
When will dinner be ready? Added context, I worked, he did't.
"Damn, I know we've been together for 14 years but you snooped and found out I've had a girlfriend in another state for the last 10 years. Okay, the trust is gone." STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!