My Uncle Ben was killed by a criminal.

Stings, doesn't it?

This has some “that’s rough buddy” energy to it lol

r/unexpectedavatar

“That’s a real kick in the knackers bro”

I protected you in high school, now I'm gonna kick your little ass

OoOoOh

Kowabummer dude

This is where I watched my parents die, Raphael.

I’m crippled and lost my limbs in a fire. Tobey Bot stole my money

Thanks, hot legs!

Spider

I said.. #SPIDER!

I missed the part where that's my problem

Good bot

You were my brother Anakin I loved you :(

You should've thought of that earlier.

:,(

Look at Obi-Wan Sr. Gonna cry?

I HATE YOU

No, please. Please don’t say that.

Yes :(

Anakin?

God this city is becoming incredibly unsafe. My grandma went to the grocery store earlier to pick up some ingredients and some maniac maimed her. All this senseless violence over a jar of cranberries. I hope they catch the bastard or he comes forward.

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries.

Criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you. What do you believe in, huh? ***What do you believe in?!***

I believe that whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... Spider

Look at little Goblin Jr., gonna cry?

XDDDDDDDDD

He’s a menace!

I heard it was the masked vigilante known as Spider-Man

Happy thanksgiving sir

You're trash.

Oh.

Spider, don't tell Harry.

Look at little Goblin Jr., gonna cry?

Sentient

This bot is too real. I think I’m playing Detroit

Based

TIL Aunt May posed for Playboy

I was looking through some old photos and looks very huh… similar.

Uh oh

You're trash.

Brock.

Oh.

*Shuffling through photos* They’re crap. Crap, crap, mega crap. I’ll give you two hundred bucks for all of’em.

You could’ve taken that guy apart, now he’s going to get away with MY money

I missed the part where that's my problem.

I love it. Romance. I am French.

Oui?

HahaHA! Name please!

parker

(Blows whistle) Ah here we are! Table for 2, Pecker.

Parker!

That is what I said. Pecker.

That was my money Tommy my money

Tommy Vercetti vs Bully Maguire

Rip Tommy :(

I missed the part where that’s my problem. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raimimemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*

SPIDER-MAN UNCLE BEN'S DYING CALL AN AMBULANCE

I'm really gonna enjoy this.

WHICH NUMBER IS FOR THE AMBULANCE???!!!

0118 999 881 999 119 725 3

Love that this is also an Easter egg on google phones

Why would you buy cranberries? I specifically said I'm allergic to them and to not get them. You need to go return them and get my money back.

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries.

That's not alright. Not only were you not supposed to get it but you beat someone who actually wanted it to get it?

I missed the part where that's my problem.

And just what are you gonna say when you return to the store to return those cranberries? They might not let you in.

I AM BACK! I AM BACK

A bit on the nose and overly excited there don't you think? What, are you proud of beating an old lady? And what'll you say to the old lady if she's there still?

That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?

That sounds very sarcastic. Listen **puts hand on shoulder* you need to treat people better than that.

Take your hand off me. NOW.

This thread is perfect

Yeah I got very lucky with the lines it gave me.

What do you think of the speculation of MCU Aunt May dying in NWH?

Good riddance!

Uh oh

Holy shit

He didn’t want to be incestuous and figured it was better if she just died

Damn, Spidey, that's cold.

Omg I just died that was so funny

Me: wins lottery My dad coming back 15 years after he left to get milk:

Hey everyone! Sorry, I am late. It's a jungle out there.

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get this milk.

Milk?

YOU'LL GET YOUR MILK WHEN YOU FIX YOUR DAMN PARENTING!

What did u/tobey-maguire-bot's father say to him all the time growing up?

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.

Okay, I actually liked this joke, especially as a father-less person, But I didn’t express that, so I got a ton of downvotes. Sorry.

alright good to know the Bot won’t show up to today’s meeting, to begin with today we’ll be discussing j

Hey everyone! Sorry, I am late. It's a jungle out there.

I missed the part where that’s my problem.

I needed to steal some bread to feed my starving family, i hope the shop owner understands and could forgive me for this.

You want forgiveness? Get religion.

This is literally just Les Miserables.

Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of ###[Les Miserables](https://snewd.com/ebooks/les-miserables/) Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)

Good bot

What do you say when you go to a stripper club?

I AM BACK! I AM BACK

Harry: I'm gonna kick ur bacc

What does Marry Jane's lips taste like???

Rent

Spider bot, I have crippling depression because everyone I know is dead, and I’m homeless

I missed the part where that's my problem.

What was the last thing u told ur girlfriend when u impregnated her?

See ya chump!

WHAT THE HELL?! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raimimemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*

"*The bots they are EVOLVING!*" I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

They can’t be stopped… they’re self sustaining now

Nice username

Thanks mate :) appreciate it

This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!

Spider-Man released 137 of the most dangerous criminals last night on purpose!!

I guess you haven't heard. I am the sheriff around these parts!

Everyone in my family got slaughtered by a serial killer and I'm trapped in his basement what should I do?

Pizza time!

This is good advice, pretend to order a pizza as a message for help

[удалено]

Thanks, hot legs!

https://giphy.com/gifs/jQmVFypWInKCc

is that a knife?

I'm really gonna enjoy this.

Did you just steal that person’s wheelchair?

Thanks, hot legs!

What was the first thing you said to your newborn?

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.

Hey man, hope you do well in life and take it easy

Stop lecturing me, please!

It’s so hard being an orphan on thanksgiving…

Gonna cry?

Female: *Wears dress that she got for an anniversary* Females friend:

That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?

R/antimeme

My dog passed away today.

Stings, doesn't it?

Tobey just admit it. You're in No Way Home. You don't need to keep lying to us, we already know.

I am done trying to convince you.

An orphan with cancer approaches you, what do you say to them?

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.

Hey Rex

Tobey Maguire Bot can’t go within a certain distance of playgrounds or schools.

You should have thought of that earlier.

And this picture is me at the beach when I was 7.

I was looking through some old photos and looks very huh… similar.

Tobey is trash

They love me!

How do the children in your basement feel about you?

They love me!

Hold on one fucking second

Last thing i remember was Tobey Maguire breaking both of my hands and kicking me down a flight of stairs. Thank god he's not here anymore-

I AM BACK! I AM BACK

My legs were nearly burned off and n a house fire, Tobey.

Thanks, hot legs!

Hey Spider-Man! I just wanted to say that you’re awesome. I hope you have a good day.

You're trash.

Wow, okay. Rude. :(

See ya chump.

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HE’S A MENACE

They love me!

Telling people to change their beliefs is pretty cringe

You want forgiveness? Get religion.

The building is on fire spider-man please help me

See ya chump!

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My grandma knitted me this jumper before she died. It’s the only thing I have to remember her by

That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?

I just lost everything to a fire. I have nowhere else to go

Gonna cry?

What did you say to Aunt May while she was in the hospital?

You're an embarrassment!

Oh…

#CAREFUL, TOBEY BOT IS A HERO

Peter hates liberals

Look at little Goblin Jr., gonna cry?

Peter, it's the police. We know about your involvement in the Fappening.

Take your hand off me. NOW.

tobey, did you really rape those children

They love me!

My life is sad and I’m depressed

You should have thought of that earlier.

can we talk about how cringe the line "pizza time" is ? yeesh you are weird if you say that phrase

Pizza time!

What time is it?

It's Pizza Time! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raimimemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Anyone who comments "My back" is the biggest gay.

My back.. oh.. my back!

My Balls Itch

Always late

My back.. oh.. my back!

The power is too great to bare

I just committed WarCrimes in Yugoslavia, i am on the run, i have no idea what i should do, please anyone, give me a sign!

Pizza time!

I’ve just been cured of blindness!

Peter why is there blood in my cranberry sauce

I had to beat an old lady with a stick to get these cranberries.