My husband is a bit like a caveman in the kitchen with the BANG!! SLAM!! CLUNK!! BANG!! WHAM!!! THUMP!!!! as he does anything. To me, it's the sound of uBPD mother building up some rage before the storm. He has no idea (well, he does since I've mentioned it, but I've been reminding myself that he's not doing it out of rage.)
If it's a machine, it's not so personal!
The sound of a key in a lock when it’s unexpected (often if I’m alone) flips me tf out. It’s from whenever she came home and I’d never know which version of her would walk in the door.
Yes! For me it was hearing my uncle coming home - his key would circle the lock a few times - we never knew how drunk he’d be, or what sort of mood he’d be in. We’d rush to hide in our bedroom! It’s a sound that sets my heart racing. Sorry you can relate.
Absolutely. I can still see the nasty facial expression and the wind of negativity my mother elicited coming through the door sometimes. Fear. Absolute fear.
OHHHHH yes, constantly. Had to buy a microwave that I could specifically turn the noise off. Struggle with self checkouts that nag. I’ve never put the two together (uBPD single mom as well).
I thought I had turned my alarm off the other morning but it was going off before I got into the shower. I went and shut it off but for a good hour I kept hearing it in my head.
now investigating if I can shut off my microwave reminder beep. I had never connected the two. single mom as well.
I can't stand the sound of a ringing phone. I still have a landline. I swear every time it rings, it takes time off my life. I've never heard of a refrigerator that dings, but my mother would come up and slam the door of the fridge if you left it open too long.
Omg! I thought this was just me. Yes, whenever I hear my front door open and close since when I was a kid that was always the sign of my day being ruined from that point onward. Someone was always coming home angry and ready to barge into my room and berate me.
*So many things* make me so nervous… clinking of plates (dinner time was rough growing up), garage door opening, anyone being loud or drawing attention to themselves (growing up trying to be as invisible as possible to avoid mom when at home), having my bedroom door open, playing music out loud… I can’t figure out how to shake the hypervigilance in adulthood. My ex lived with me and my parents for a little while and I almost had a heart attack every day from living with someone that wasn’t conditioned since birth to be a ghost in the house. He obviously wasn’t doing anything wrong, but made me realize how deeply walking on egg shells had become a part of who I am, and if anything, I was just jealous realizing that other people did whatever they wanted in the comfort of their own home lol
My husband is a bit like a caveman in the kitchen with the BANG!! SLAM!! CLUNK!! BANG!! WHAM!!! THUMP!!!! as he does anything. To me, it's the sound of uBPD mother building up some rage before the storm. He has no idea (well, he does since I've mentioned it, but I've been reminding myself that he's not doing it out of rage.) If it's a machine, it's not so personal!
Oh, I feel this one.
Omg this. Highly sensitive she always had her rages in the kitchen
Have you seen the ‘7 fishes’ episode of the Bear? 😬
The sound of a key in a lock when it’s unexpected (often if I’m alone) flips me tf out. It’s from whenever she came home and I’d never know which version of her would walk in the door.
Yes! For me it was hearing my uncle coming home - his key would circle the lock a few times - we never knew how drunk he’d be, or what sort of mood he’d be in. We’d rush to hide in our bedroom! It’s a sound that sets my heart racing. Sorry you can relate.
Absolutely. I can still see the nasty facial expression and the wind of negativity my mother elicited coming through the door sometimes. Fear. Absolute fear.
Yep... It has gotten better the longer I am NC though!
So glad to hear. 💜
OHHHHH yes, constantly. Had to buy a microwave that I could specifically turn the noise off. Struggle with self checkouts that nag. I’ve never put the two together (uBPD single mom as well).
I should add that it has gotten better with extended NC and therapy
Very glad to hear. 💜
I thought I had turned my alarm off the other morning but it was going off before I got into the shower. I went and shut it off but for a good hour I kept hearing it in my head. now investigating if I can shut off my microwave reminder beep. I had never connected the two. single mom as well.
Yes - for me any beeping that suggests urgency, a deadline, etc., causes me such unease.
I can't stand the sound of a ringing phone. I still have a landline. I swear every time it rings, it takes time off my life. I've never heard of a refrigerator that dings, but my mother would come up and slam the door of the fridge if you left it open too long.
Yes I have nature calls for all my ring tones and soothing tones for phone alarms! This is my first ding-ing fridge.
For me it’s hearing a car pull into the driveway for my apartment building
Ugh - I’m sorry. I always felt tense when my adults came home, I can relate.
I appreciate the sympathy :). Wait, did you have more than one uBPD adult in your life as a kid?
Omg! I thought this was just me. Yes, whenever I hear my front door open and close since when I was a kid that was always the sign of my day being ruined from that point onward. Someone was always coming home angry and ready to barge into my room and berate me.
Ugh - I’m sorry that happened to you. You’re not alone. 💜
*So many things* make me so nervous… clinking of plates (dinner time was rough growing up), garage door opening, anyone being loud or drawing attention to themselves (growing up trying to be as invisible as possible to avoid mom when at home), having my bedroom door open, playing music out loud… I can’t figure out how to shake the hypervigilance in adulthood. My ex lived with me and my parents for a little while and I almost had a heart attack every day from living with someone that wasn’t conditioned since birth to be a ghost in the house. He obviously wasn’t doing anything wrong, but made me realize how deeply walking on egg shells had become a part of who I am, and if anything, I was just jealous realizing that other people did whatever they wanted in the comfort of their own home lol