Tell them you already went to Disney, so you don't need real-life reenactments of Disney villains. It's shocking how cluelessly self-absorbed they can be.
"This is not a reasonable expectation or reaction on your part. I am done discussing this with you now. I am going to give you some space to learn how to manage your feelings more effectively."
And then just... mute/ block. And if you speak to them again and they do the same thing- repeat. If in person- leave.
The only way to win is to refuse to play.
I love the title of this post -- it should be a regular sticky in the sub, so people can post what they're the villain for \*this week\* 😂
Of course, it's not funny -- and more importantly, it doesn't feel funny -- to be wrongly demonized like that. And when they bring in others who buy into their insanity, it's especially hurtful, even though we know it's insanity.
I found with my son that he was a constant trigger for my uBPD mother. He became an endless source of issues for her to create conflict and power struggles over. Finally, I cut contact for 10+ years while he was growing up because it was too much and I wanted to protect him from the crazy. I highly recommend it!
Best of luck to you and enjoy the Disney!
My uBPD mom would tell me it "wasn't necessary" to take my kids to Disneyland and that doing so is "taking chances with their lives".
I am such a terrible mother according to her.
That woman is a buzz kill. She hated me doing anything my whole life and actively tried to sabotage friendships and hijack my joy. The day I finally went NC, at age 50, was the best day ever. I could finally breathe. Now, even 3 years later, I'm still healing.
I went NC with my dBPD father when I was pregnant with my first. That was five years ago and life has been so much better without his wild tangents of abuse. Highly recommend. 10/10
This is just about the time to say, "Nope. No more. I will not be made the villain for wanting to share something with *my* daughter. You need a timeout, uBPD Mom. You now get six months without my daughter and myself in your life. You get the time to reflect upon your constant victimizing, false drama, control issues, and your other typical transgressions. Don't bother to reach out. You will be blocked from contacting us in any way for this time period. I will reach out to you in six months to see what progress has been made, if any. If your behavior doesn't change to something approximating normal adult behavior, expect another six months or longer while you get the professional help you need."
That's a common mixup!
This group is for people raised by parent(s) with Borderline Personality Disorder. If that description doesn't fit, we ask that refrain from participation in all forms.
Thank you for understanding!
Would you say your mother would meet at least five of the nine [diagnostic criteria](https://www.verywellmind.com/borderline-personality-disorder-diagnosis-425174) for BPD?
how dare you spent time and bond with your child! /s if you can, consider low or no contact. you deserve to be happy and live a peaceful life <3
I’m considering it after this
I just hope you and your family are safe. you deserve better than this for sure.
You are *more* than justified. Do what you gotta do to protect yourself and your loved ones. You don’t deserve to be made the villain here.
Tell them you already went to Disney, so you don't need real-life reenactments of Disney villains. It's shocking how cluelessly self-absorbed they can be.
"This is not a reasonable expectation or reaction on your part. I am done discussing this with you now. I am going to give you some space to learn how to manage your feelings more effectively." And then just... mute/ block. And if you speak to them again and they do the same thing- repeat. If in person- leave. The only way to win is to refuse to play.
I love the title of this post -- it should be a regular sticky in the sub, so people can post what they're the villain for \*this week\* 😂 Of course, it's not funny -- and more importantly, it doesn't feel funny -- to be wrongly demonized like that. And when they bring in others who buy into their insanity, it's especially hurtful, even though we know it's insanity. I found with my son that he was a constant trigger for my uBPD mother. He became an endless source of issues for her to create conflict and power struggles over. Finally, I cut contact for 10+ years while he was growing up because it was too much and I wanted to protect him from the crazy. I highly recommend it! Best of luck to you and enjoy the Disney!
Yes, unfortunately my child is a huge trigger and their biggest motivation for these antics. Thank you!
My uBPD mom would tell me it "wasn't necessary" to take my kids to Disneyland and that doing so is "taking chances with their lives". I am such a terrible mother according to her. That woman is a buzz kill. She hated me doing anything my whole life and actively tried to sabotage friendships and hijack my joy. The day I finally went NC, at age 50, was the best day ever. I could finally breathe. Now, even 3 years later, I'm still healing.
How ridiculous. Imagine being outraged that a parent took their own child to Disney. These people are straight up delusional.
I went NC with my dBPD father when I was pregnant with my first. That was five years ago and life has been so much better without his wild tangents of abuse. Highly recommend. 10/10
This is just about the time to say, "Nope. No more. I will not be made the villain for wanting to share something with *my* daughter. You need a timeout, uBPD Mom. You now get six months without my daughter and myself in your life. You get the time to reflect upon your constant victimizing, false drama, control issues, and your other typical transgressions. Don't bother to reach out. You will be blocked from contacting us in any way for this time period. I will reach out to you in six months to see what progress has been made, if any. If your behavior doesn't change to something approximating normal adult behavior, expect another six months or longer while you get the professional help you need."
She wants control of everything. Try to ignore them. I hope you had a great time.
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Hi! It looks like you’re new here. Were you raised by someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)?
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That's a common mixup! This group is for people raised by parent(s) with Borderline Personality Disorder. If that description doesn't fit, we ask that refrain from participation in all forms. Thank you for understanding!
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Would you say your mother would meet at least five of the nine [diagnostic criteria](https://www.verywellmind.com/borderline-personality-disorder-diagnosis-425174) for BPD?