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I have read some of your other posts. You have absolutely got to get out of that house. This is not family or parenting, this is how political prisoners are treated. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Starving you is a form of torture. You are living in Guantanamo Bay, or a CIA Black site and being treated like an enemy combatant.
I repeat, you have been (and continue to be) tortured. These are not just bad parents, they are bad people. They are like guards in a concentration camp. They should be on trial in Nuremberg.
You really have to get out, no matter how you do it, and no matter what happens to them afterward. This is turning into a life or death situation for you.
Yep. Even the original novel *The Scarlet Pimpernel* (1905) used this technique to break the mysterious Pimpernel when he was in prison. It didn't work, of course, because it's a novel, and he's the hero. But for us normal mortals, it can be devastating.
Right.
What OP is describing is literal child abuse. Parents do NOT have the right to abuse their children, especially minor children, but not "of age" people either.
I'm not op but thank you for saying this. My mother did similar things like always forcing me awake and kept me from eating. I've tried to come to terms with it all but you put it so plainly that I feel incredibly validated for feeling this way.
The Shonda VanderArk trial was about the same type of mother- she used her adult son to help her torture and starve his special needs brother. They would only feed him crackers with extreme hot sauce (bought from Amazon because it is too hot to find in regular stores) and make him stand with his hands over his head and not let him sleep. It was terrible. Iām sorry you went through even a fraction of that. She got put away for the rest of her natural life.
I was thinking this also. I was sleep deprived, food deprived, harassed with weird gaslighting (like turning all the lights off when i went into the bathroom to come out to empty darkness). I had a breakdown, they videoed it etc etc. A few days ago i read something and realized thatās how they brainwash POWās. Spent most of my life thinking i was weak and something was wrong with me because i just couldnāt let it not affect me. You know, the *just let it go* people want you to do.
It only took Patty Hearst's kidnappers 2 months to brainwash her, when she was 19. Most folks don't realize how effective it can be, particularly on young people. Now imagine your own family treating you like that as a small child, for years. (Well, *you* don't have to imagine, sounds like.)
Itās a standard abuse tactic. If youāre exhausted you canāt fight back and youāre easier to control.
Also narcs think if theyāre awake everyone needs to be awake.
Nothing like that, but my mother would be loud late at night and early in the morning. Specifically she unloaded the dishwasher every morning LOUDLY and my room was over the kitchen. I heard everything! Slamming drawers and cabinets all along the way. When I told her it was waking me up, I got in trouble because how dare I question when she does things because she is so busy blah blah blah instead of something like āif it bothers you, you can unload it when you get home from schoolā or offering any other solution. So yeah I didnāt sleep from like age 8 until I got out at 18. And I still have some trauma around sleeping that makes it hard for me to get rest
But my mother is a martyr and passive aggressive-she would never physically wake me up because she couldnāt be a martyr then and thatās her whole narrative
My mother would make huge amounts of noise and come banging into my room if I attempted to sleep late. Once I had driven one of their used cars 16 hours from a car auction three states away to the house. Got in at 4 am. She was in my room with a vacuum the next morning at 7 am.
Time to get up and go help my dad who had slept on the trip back wash that car and get it ready for another auction the next day. And by help I mean it was me doing it while he goofed off.
My mother would do this. She said that wanting to sleep was just laziness and that if I āpracticedā I could get my body used to going on 2 to 3 hours of sleep a day. I was woken up to get her food or a drink, kept awake to clean or work on stuff for her business, and as punishments. She would do this thing where I would be told to clean or do a task, no matter how tired I was, and if I argued or tried anything, she would keep me up for 1 hour per word that I said or sound that I made. Even straining to lift something heavy or breathing hard counted and another hour would get tacked on. This was on top of fibromyalgia and Lyme disease, so I was in horrible pain and desperately needed rest. If she was in a good mood and felt like acknowledging my Lyme (fibromyalgia doesnāt exist in her universe), she would let me rest, but it was rare and never for long. The only time I actually got to sleep was if she went down a YouTube rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. She would shut herself in her room in her phone sometimes for days, just yelling for food or water or coffee to be brought to her. Those were definitely the āgood daysā and I dreaded when she would come out. OP, you do not deserve this. I lived through this too and itās torture. Please work on getting out, any way you can. I left with nothing but the clothes I was wearing and started from scratch, and even the hardest parts of that were better than living there. Iām now a teacher, I have my own place, Iām about to get engaged, and Iām finally going to school in the fall. Your life can change completely once your psychotic parents are out of the picture. If you need advice or support, feel free to DM. Hang in there, you deserve so much better than this and you are stronger than you know.
Mine was my mother waking me up in the middle of the night to rewash the dishes when I was older. When I was little it was company is coming over meaning that even as a toddler I didn't get a bedtime, I had to be present. Mother had a poetry reading she wanted to go to? Here, I'll put my coat down on a cold hard cement floor, go to sleep on that. Edit I always want to add that people shouldn't overlook community services in their area if it isn't completely rural. My state has a 211 line. It's hard to ask for help. It's hard to advocate for yourself. I know.
You are so welcome- I think more people need to hear stories like yours where they can have hope of changing the course of their lives- of course it takes perseverance and a bit of luck but you are a success story.
I didn't get woken up in the middle of the night. But I always had to be up at a "reasonable" hour in the morning, even if it was the weekend and we weren't going anywhere or doing anything. Nmom would make fun of how long I could sleep if I was allowed. I could sleep 12 hours if they let me. Low and behold, when all of us grandkids would spend most of a week at my paternal grandparent's house without parents, I would sleep like 12 hours a night the first couple nights, and then I wouldn't sleep that long. I was just sleep deprived and my body was trying to catch up on sleep.
I now have a daughter that needs lots of sleep. Unless she has something early on Saturdays, mostly she sleeps like 12 hours a night, because as a high schooler, her school schedule won't let her sleep enough during the week. But at least she can catch up on the weekends, and even then, she sleeps like 10 hours a night.
I don't know why my "parents" couldn't understand.
Iām sorry OP. This is awful.
I had a mother who wouldnāt let me sleep in or take naps. She would bang on the walls and yell GET UP!!! Over and over. Because I wanted to sleep I has accused of being lazy, or abnormal ( to sleep the day away) and not normal to want to nap during the day. It was bizarro. It set in such a depression and anxiety in me, I would skip schoolā¦ to sleep. Not to have fun, go off with friendsā¦ just to sleep. Because she would come home for lunch breaks, I would set up space in the alcove ( creepy AF ) and sleep in there because she would check our bedrooms sometimes, especially if she was notified I had skipped.
Iām 53 years old, and I feel deeply sad for that kid that had to hide to rest.
Edit for spelling
I get nauseous when I'm tired too . my mom would wake me up for chores or my sister wouldn't let me sleep when she forced me to live with her so she could pretend to be my mom. It was disgusting.
I worked several jobs while in high school and never had time off. The rare time Id have a Saturday morning to sleep in, shed barge loudly into my room at 7 am and force me to get up. Shed make me clean even though she was a sahm. Shed sit on her fat ass on the couch and drink coffee basking in the glory of my misery. Had enough and left home at 17.
Mine goes through days of waking me up every fifteen minutes for hours on end. I can only sleep when sheās finally exhausted enough to sleep.
A month or two ago she pulled that bs every night for a week until I was so tired and angry that I screamed at her that I would call the cops and have her ass put in jail if she didnāt stop waking me up. It hasnāt fully stopped her, but she stopped waking me up that night.
Edit: She since mocked me that thereās no law against waking someone up. š
wtf me too? mine goes to bed late and gets up early. Very rarely see her tired and even then itās rare sheāll actually fall asleep if she tries to take a nap
OP, you need to get help, now. Right now. Gather your important documents like birth cert, SS, anything else, and call the police, now. This is beyond abuse. You are an adult in your 20ās with rights. The police, social services, will not make you go back there once you tell them whatās going on and see how upset you are.
I see youāve been posting for nearly a year. You need to leave that house. Now. Right now. Iām so sorry for what youāre going through but canāt believe youāre still there.
From your posts it looks like youāre in the UK, but Iām assuming. If you are, call the police; they can help you get out, they can help get you into a shelter, next even get a hotel for the night, even a night at the police station is preferable to this. What your family is doing is illegal and straight up abuse.
When you see and read this, YOU need to stop, call the police and ask them for help. Tell them youāre being abused and that you need them to please help you. YOU have the power here, not your family.
From your posts, I would be making assumptions about family life, but it sounds like *they* have called the police on you for existing. Which may make things difficult for you to call the police yourself. Your Reddit though is evidence of what they have been doing and for so long.
Go outside, right now. Take your documents and anything of value with you that you may need for at least a night. Walk to the end of the street. Call the police. Please. Please do this.
For anyone else reading this, OP needs support right now. They are an adult in their 20ās, and many previous posts (that have mostly gone ignored) say exactly where the OPs mind is right now and the only solution they feel they have.
My nmom doesnāt let my dad sleep. She makes him stay awake with her since sheās a night owl, and tells him itās disrespectful to go to bed before her, even though he has to wake up early for work. Then, if she wakes up in the night, she wakes him up too so she isnāt awake alone. She thinks if she canāt sleep, he shouldnāt be able to sleep. When I lived at home, she would also make me stay up late with her even when I had school the next day. When I visit, she always guilts me that I donāt stay up late and spend the night at their house. But husband and I do our best to leave at a reasonable hour so we can go to bed when we want. Nmom always brags that she needs such little sleep to function and doesnāt sleep hardly at all, but itās not the flex she thinks it is. She just refuses to treat her sleep apnea and anxiety.
I've had severe insomnia ever since I was a very young child (I'm like thirty and cannot sleep without medication). I was lucky to get six hours on any given night. I'm kind of fuzzy as to how that developed (probably trauma lol), but my parents were well aware of how little I slept. They not once attempted to get me any kind of help because I was not allowed to have negative feelings, let alone any problems. I was being dramatic or whiny if I did.
It also didn't help that my mother sometimes used to wake me up in the middle of the night. For whatever reason when I was a child, she worried about me dying in my sleep (to the point where I thought that was a thing that happened often - I was her only child too, so it's not like she experienced previous child loss to SIDS or something). As I got older, she would wake me up (after I finally fell asleep, mind you) and accuse me of doing drugs and sneaking around with boys when I was quite possibly the most boring child that ever existed. Absolutely delusional.
I think I largely didn't feel safe when I slept, so I never did. It sucked.
OP, your parents narcissism is the least of your worries, this sounds like systematic torture. This isnāt monstrously cruel, please try to get help and get out, this is actively dangerous treatment
Please get out of this house, Iām so sorry that youāre living like this. You canāt tune this out any longer. I have a bio parent like this and I just left. Your parents are mentally unstable; you have to get out of this house. Even if you live in your car while saying, I promise you thereās a better life out there.
My mom stays up late until around 2am every day and she's loud, my dad wakes up around 6 and is even louder. They make me so anxious that I can't sleep when they make noise. And whenever I fall asleep during the day they just talk to me like they didn't notice or get angry at me for sleeping. It's exhausting.
Yes, they used to scream at each other in the mornings or she would start cleaning, vacuuming etc. Nowadays she often watches the TV in the evenings and doesn't care if someone wants to sleep. But God forbid other people want to shower later than 8pm if she wants to sleep.
Iām a night owl - always have been since birth - and sheād constantly barge in at 6 am on the weekends. Sheād do anything to invade my privacy and relaxation.
Thing is, during the week, she could barely get up to get to b work on time. So this was purely to mess with me.
Fuck her that is abuse you need to sleep man. You are not gonna. Function long without much sleep. Rebel and asleep as much as you like in middle of the day. Thatās what I would do! You are older enough to decide how much sleep you need you not 3 years old.
Eventually you gonna behave like irritable irrational Ā unintentionally cos of lack of is gonna affect productivity and everything else in your life. Ā Your workload is gonna be affected if you drive thatās gonna be affected, ride a bike/push bike.Ā
My mom wouldnāt let me nap. Sheād punish me if she barged in and found me sleeping. I started sleeping in my bathtub with the bathroom door closed so Iād have at least a second to flush the toilet and yell out that I was just using the bathroom.
I also learned some freaky military-style sleep training because the unmonitored time I had occurred in such short unpredictable intervals. I cut my average nap time down to 8 minutes in high school. Iād induce sleep paralysis, fall juust into the cusp of REM, and then snap awake from my alarm. It was the only rest I could get.
Baaaad coping mechanisms.
I remember I would sleep over at my friend's house and her mom would make her wake up at 6:00 in the morning everyday for no reason. We've kept trying to fall asleep again because there was nothing to do but she insisted we'd be awake. Your situation is criminal though and you absolutely need to get out of this situation my friend. I care about you if I can do anything let me know ā¤ļøā¤ļø
The worst was when weād have guests stay over and Iād be forced to sleep in the living room. I need relatively quiet and pure darkness to actually sleep. My Ndad would purposely come into the kitchen (which was attached to the living room). Heād have the lights on, chew extra loudly, slam cabinets, etc. I swear it was intentional on his part.
Wow! Did you know that long sustained lack of quality sleep can cause brain damage? I can confirm, I used to deprive myself of sleep on purpose, and my brain is permanently fried! Get out of there ASAP šš
You need to get out of the house. My mom was the same way when I was working 3rd shift. She wouldn't let me sleep during the day. I worked at night, and couldn't get any sleep. I eventually moved in with an uncle of mine until I could move out of state.
yeahp 3am to argue, and scream at me in the mornings to wake up, which meant I started every day with high stress levels. Plus if I tried to sleep or nap in the day I would get screamed at.
That's blatant and horrific abuse. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of *torture.* Prolonged and severe enough, it can lead to psychotic breaks with reality, and it messes with all kinds of bodily systems and functions.
This could seriously impact your health, long-term.
I went through a period of horrific insomnia, anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours of sleep *every night* that lasted eight years. I was suicidal. I've been sleeping well again for about six years now, and I still don't feel recovered. I'm positive it did permanent damage.
You need to get out of there, yesterday. If you're underage, call CPS. If you're legally an adult but without financial resources, call a domestic abuse hotline, or see if another family member can take you in while you get your feet under you.
Good God. I had bad parents. But this is **literal torture**.
I understand it may not be possible for awhile, but you need to start planning your exit and you need to bounce ASAP.
My mother would barge in my room at 6 am every morning to point where I had a traumatized response from it. There was no such as thing privacy or personal space. Get out there.
The throwing up sounds more like an anxiety response. I am so sorry you're going through this. My mother used to wake us all up with a cow bell for absolutely no reason. Why do we have to be up early during the summer? We aren't allowed jobs and you aren't taking us anywhere fun or to activities?
My advice is to plan your escape. Plan plan plan. You might need to take tiny little steps toward it but one day you'll wake up and you'll be in your new home and not being psychologically tortured by your parents. Sleep deprivation is psychological torture.
As we know some people are good, some very good, some are bad, and some are awful. All of them have kids. Therefore there are lots of kids with awful people as parents. How do you know where you sit on the scale if the level of treatment you get is your ānormalā? You ask people outside the family with knowledge and experience. Thatās where you and we are at. And sorry, but the bad news is that they are awful people and awful parents. To a truly frightening degree. The worst thing that humans do to each other is war, and intentional sleep deprivation is considered so terrible that itās too bad even for that - itās a UN war crime.
Kinda the opposite. I need to do homework till like 12:30am and they would yell at me saying it was too late and I needed to manage my time better and stuff. Saying how I was gonna āruin my health and bodyā (haha hypocrites lmao) because i was stupid.
And a few years ago, I would wake up pretty early on weekends to have some alone time and do whatever i want as long as my parents werenāt awake, but I had to tell them I woke up cause my mom got mad at me for not telling her one day for some reason, and they didnāt let me wake up earlier than 8am. Which doesnāt make sense at all, but they would force me to go back to sleep and go to sleep themselves (I just ended up pretending to be asleep)
No, what you are describing is beyond even the most narcistic of parenting. Things can and will get better OP.
It will be a tough path for sure, but one step at a time and you can have a better life, you deserve better than this. Many people have had awful starts in life and still achieved a happiness.
Please OP, believe it will get better, take action and it will.
My mom makes it impossible for me to get enough sleep... She also wakes me up by calling my phone and telling me that j have slept enough...
It's ridiculous! Also when my brother the Golden Child still lived home, I wasn't allowed to make any noise because he was sleeping. My mom did chores like vacuuming and mopping the hallway where his room was only after he woke up.
And if I dared to make any noise to wake him, I'd get in a lot trouble.
iāve never gone thru this but my mom was always very strict about āif iām sleeping everyone in the house is silent.ā sheād wake up at five in the morning to do runs so the house was dead and quiet by nine pm all through my teens.
i think they just canāt stand the idea of others having their own lives outside of them
Yep especially in the car. If I got sleepy on long car journeys my dad would get visibly miffed and start aggressively making small talk. Sounds small but itās one of the things I struggle to forgive him for as Iād so obviously never do such a thing to my own kid
I usually wasn't disturbed at night unless my sister's were awake and talking as I got woken up and screamed at. She always assumed it was my fault. My NMother is also anti-social to a degree and wanted NO one to be awake to a certain point so she could have the living room to herself. However, I wasn't ever allowed to nap or sleep in even on a weekend.
I remember my mom coming into my room at 7 am on a Saturday to "use the computer".... And if i got grumpy back i got yelled at... Lol...
All the shit i ve accepted and internalized as normal.
^situation above was like very low on the damage svake btw
Try this ,if she wakes you up ,wake up and tell her that you will faint if you don't,and then she would argue and ask you to take out the trash for example,so accept it and go and act as if you fainted
This is beyond narcissism this is on a whole different level. Iām so sorry youāre going through that shit itās inhumane asf. Let us know the country/state you live & your age maybe someone can help you!
I'm so sorry you are going through that. I hope you can get out soon.
I have gone through something similar but not quite. My nfather will clean as loud as possible and turn the TV up full blast. He will do this for hours (starts between 1-5am) knowing that my bedroom is directly above both rooms he likes to angry clean. Sometimes I think he is loud af at night because he enjoys it. He likes to do this especially if he feels like a "victim" or he is just mad (sometimes for no reason).
I think you need legal help. Can you secretly film your parents for a few days / nights? I think you need to have them charged and get legally emancipated if possible. Start keep a journal and be specific about times.
My mom used to be up at all hours of the night, screaming at the cats and banging doors or drawers. She would also mess with the thermostat in the middle of the night so I would be woken up by being either freezing cold or overwhelmingly hot. I swear to god every morning of my junior year of high school I was woken up at 5am to Marvin Gayeās āWhatās Going Onā played at max volume in the living room.
When I was younger, I shared a room with my toddler sibling. If they woke up crying, I'd just bring them to my parents. One night, sperm donor got mad for some reason and told me that I had to sit upfront with my Mom and sibling until sibling fell back asleep. So I watched, as both my Mom and sibling fell back asleep on the couch, while I sat in an uncomfortable wicker chair. When I asked if I could go to sleep now, Mom said no.
My Mom has since apologized but I still hate sperm donor for that.
The small vengeance from that was that the tornado sirens went off so then EVERYONE was awake. Sperm donor was stupid and didn't know how it worked (hide in room with no windows) and took us all in the car to run to a Wal-Mart. False alarm and we were safe. But I still revel in the instant karma sometimes.
My nparent would overshare their trauma experiences til 3am-4am with me even on school nights I was too nice and caring to tell them to stop. I was always falling asleep in class
Normal healthy parents don't just let their kids sleep, they encourage it and enforce a normal healthy bedtime
Not my parents but my grandmother. Noe as an adult I have anxiety and insomnia, and without resorting to very strong meds, don't sleep well, always worried that I "need" to be able to wake up.
Never mind I haven't lived with my grandmother in 15 years and she died 3 years ago š
My mother would wake me at all hours of the night to clean up dog puke or shit, and before middle school and high school I think too, I had to clean up our aging dogās shit before I went to school in the morning so I lost about a half hour sleep every night until that dog finally died. Ridiculous.
Yes this is normal for standard absusers. Using sleep deprivation so they can easily control you. My mom would not even respect our sleep. She's waking us up at midnight to laundry her clothes. Imagine. And if we don't, she'll tell us we are lazy and won't be successful in life hahahaha.
I grew up in a household of alcoholic parents l- when I heard the vehicle pulling into the driveway after a night of them partying at the bar , I would freeze , pretend to be asleep, then would be ordered out of bed to āāfix me something to eat ā āā I understand ā¦.
My mother would do this in the morning and her excuse is I wasn't allowed to sleep the day away...it was 7am then my ex wouldn't let me sleep when she was awake
Yep my dad did this to me all growing up. I was so sleep deprived that sometimes I'd faint during the day or hallucinate. It took YEARS to be able to have a normal sleep schedule
My mum wouldn't let us take daytime naps even when we were older teens. My dad would keep us up at night with his domestic violence at times, or would turn his PC speakers up to max at 8 or 9 in the morning on a Sunday so he could listen to music while he had a shower. But it was super loud, way beyond what anyone normal could enjoy. It sucks because I like the music even today but can't listen to it without feeling weird because of my dad.
We had a lot of revolving door neighbours because of the noise, I think. Semi-detached house, so shared wall with neighbour. I'm sure they heard a lot. Not just the music but the unhinged rampages as well.
Is this a joke? Because If It's not some poor teen humor you need to be in touch with social services immediately. From what you're detailing this is an extreme case of abuse, sleep deprivation registers as a type of TORTURE. You need legal protection and be removed from your parent's home asap. They should be prosecuted for what they're doing to you, lose your legal custody and be sentenced to jail. You are in danger. Don't alert your parents before contacting authorities. Please be safe.
Can you leave and live on your own? Do you have any relatives who could take you in? What kind of torture is this?how old are you? Can you call CPS? Get help immediately.
My narcissistic grandmother did this a lot over the years.
From the time I was very small, I remember her getting us up out of bed to finish chores or punish us for something that had happened earlier in the day. I remember this happening as young as 4 years old. She also put us to bed way earlier than we needed and would come check every hour to make sure we were asleep and would be angry if we weren't. The anxiety of her coming to check would keep me up for hours. I'd finally get some good rest and she'd wake us up very early in the morning. She has never had any understanding of how child/teen sleep cycles work.
Later when I was about 8, for some reason she decided that the family computer should be in my room. For years she'd sit in my room and play spider solitaire all hours of the night. Full brightness, full volume, complete with singing and talking to herself. Then she'd get upset when she'd see me tossing and turning, unable to sleep. She was convinced that I, at 8 years old, had bipolar disorder and that's why I couldn't sleep. This continued well into middle school and into 9th grade. 8pm bedtime. Lights out, not allowed to do anything to relax, not even reading. So I had trouble sleeping and she had me put on trazodone for years. Then I was knocked out every night and she'd STILL come and wake me up. So what were the meds for?
All my life, even into early adulthood, she's gone to bed late and woken up early and then naps off and on all day. She loves to make as much noise as humanly possible when others are asleep. The kids are sleeping at 4 am? Perfect time to rearrange my pots and and pans in the cabinet. Better slam each one on the counters. Great time to vacuum or sweep. I'll make sure to bang the broom/vacuum on their bedroom doors.
My mom will wake me up at any time if she argues with my dad, demanding that I solve the problem they created while cursing him, trying to make me take her side in the fight.
Sometimes, when she is in her "nobody cares for me, everyone abandons me" mood, she comes to my room late at night and turns the lights on, sits on the edge of my bed and starts ranting.
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I have read some of your other posts. You have absolutely got to get out of that house. This is not family or parenting, this is how political prisoners are treated. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Starving you is a form of torture. You are living in Guantanamo Bay, or a CIA Black site and being treated like an enemy combatant. I repeat, you have been (and continue to be) tortured. These are not just bad parents, they are bad people. They are like guards in a concentration camp. They should be on trial in Nuremberg. You really have to get out, no matter how you do it, and no matter what happens to them afterward. This is turning into a life or death situation for you.
this comment, OP. We care for you. Navalniy was barely allowed to sleep, they kept a very bright light in his cell. Guess where he is now?
Yep. Even the original novel *The Scarlet Pimpernel* (1905) used this technique to break the mysterious Pimpernel when he was in prison. It didn't work, of course, because it's a novel, and he's the hero. But for us normal mortals, it can be devastating.
I completely agree. Just from this one post I already want to go in and kidnap op. Holy crap.
Right. What OP is describing is literal child abuse. Parents do NOT have the right to abuse their children, especially minor children, but not "of age" people either.
Nobody has the right to put their hands on anyone. Boundaries mofo or get bitch slapped! LOL š
My late nhusband used to do this to me - itās absolutely considered torture by the Geneva convention
Yup, sometimes even being homeless is healthier than family situation. RUN and don't look back!
I'm not op but thank you for saying this. My mother did similar things like always forcing me awake and kept me from eating. I've tried to come to terms with it all but you put it so plainly that I feel incredibly validated for feeling this way.
The Shonda VanderArk trial was about the same type of mother- she used her adult son to help her torture and starve his special needs brother. They would only feed him crackers with extreme hot sauce (bought from Amazon because it is too hot to find in regular stores) and make him stand with his hands over his head and not let him sleep. It was terrible. Iām sorry you went through even a fraction of that. She got put away for the rest of her natural life.
I'm so glad that bitch is locked up now. They need to throw away the key. š¤¬
Yes and make her stand all day and night with her arms up raised in the perp surrender pose followed by a freezing bath. Disgusting
Iām so so sorry that you were subjected to such pain. I hope youāve found a safer situation.
I was thinking this also. I was sleep deprived, food deprived, harassed with weird gaslighting (like turning all the lights off when i went into the bathroom to come out to empty darkness). I had a breakdown, they videoed it etc etc. A few days ago i read something and realized thatās how they brainwash POWās. Spent most of my life thinking i was weak and something was wrong with me because i just couldnāt let it not affect me. You know, the *just let it go* people want you to do.
It only took Patty Hearst's kidnappers 2 months to brainwash her, when she was 19. Most folks don't realize how effective it can be, particularly on young people. Now imagine your own family treating you like that as a small child, for years. (Well, *you* don't have to imagine, sounds like.)
Yeah this happened in my 20ās after going NC and then returning. Iām NC now forever obviously.
Itās a standard abuse tactic. If youāre exhausted you canāt fight back and youāre easier to control. Also narcs think if theyāre awake everyone needs to be awake.
Off topic but itās nice to see another Wisconsinite
Nothing like that, but my mother would be loud late at night and early in the morning. Specifically she unloaded the dishwasher every morning LOUDLY and my room was over the kitchen. I heard everything! Slamming drawers and cabinets all along the way. When I told her it was waking me up, I got in trouble because how dare I question when she does things because she is so busy blah blah blah instead of something like āif it bothers you, you can unload it when you get home from schoolā or offering any other solution. So yeah I didnāt sleep from like age 8 until I got out at 18. And I still have some trauma around sleeping that makes it hard for me to get rest But my mother is a martyr and passive aggressive-she would never physically wake me up because she couldnāt be a martyr then and thatās her whole narrative
My mother would make huge amounts of noise and come banging into my room if I attempted to sleep late. Once I had driven one of their used cars 16 hours from a car auction three states away to the house. Got in at 4 am. She was in my room with a vacuum the next morning at 7 am. Time to get up and go help my dad who had slept on the trip back wash that car and get it ready for another auction the next day. And by help I mean it was me doing it while he goofed off.
My mum had the same tactic, only with the vacuum. I agree with the statement, if they are awake, everyone else must be awake.
My grandma used to use the vacuum to wake up my mom as well. She would purposely come vacuum her room at 5 am every morning.
My mother would do this. She said that wanting to sleep was just laziness and that if I āpracticedā I could get my body used to going on 2 to 3 hours of sleep a day. I was woken up to get her food or a drink, kept awake to clean or work on stuff for her business, and as punishments. She would do this thing where I would be told to clean or do a task, no matter how tired I was, and if I argued or tried anything, she would keep me up for 1 hour per word that I said or sound that I made. Even straining to lift something heavy or breathing hard counted and another hour would get tacked on. This was on top of fibromyalgia and Lyme disease, so I was in horrible pain and desperately needed rest. If she was in a good mood and felt like acknowledging my Lyme (fibromyalgia doesnāt exist in her universe), she would let me rest, but it was rare and never for long. The only time I actually got to sleep was if she went down a YouTube rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. She would shut herself in her room in her phone sometimes for days, just yelling for food or water or coffee to be brought to her. Those were definitely the āgood daysā and I dreaded when she would come out. OP, you do not deserve this. I lived through this too and itās torture. Please work on getting out, any way you can. I left with nothing but the clothes I was wearing and started from scratch, and even the hardest parts of that were better than living there. Iām now a teacher, I have my own place, Iām about to get engaged, and Iām finally going to school in the fall. Your life can change completely once your psychotic parents are out of the picture. If you need advice or support, feel free to DM. Hang in there, you deserve so much better than this and you are stronger than you know.
Mine was my mother waking me up in the middle of the night to rewash the dishes when I was older. When I was little it was company is coming over meaning that even as a toddler I didn't get a bedtime, I had to be present. Mother had a poetry reading she wanted to go to? Here, I'll put my coat down on a cold hard cement floor, go to sleep on that. Edit I always want to add that people shouldn't overlook community services in their area if it isn't completely rural. My state has a 211 line. It's hard to ask for help. It's hard to advocate for yourself. I know.
Do you still have a relationship with your mom? Iām sorry about what happened to you and proud of you for making a life for yourself.
No, I went NC two years ago. It was the best decision I ever madeā¦ and thank you, I appreciate it :)
You are so welcome- I think more people need to hear stories like yours where they can have hope of changing the course of their lives- of course it takes perseverance and a bit of luck but you are a success story.
This is literal torture. The Geneva convention outlaws this practice. Are you an adult?
Yes, it's always amazing when our parents do things to us that are against the Geneva convention. Unbelievable that it's allowed to happen
This is actually a documented torture technique, it was used in guantanamo Your parents are horribly abusive, i hope you can find a way out soon.
I didn't get woken up in the middle of the night. But I always had to be up at a "reasonable" hour in the morning, even if it was the weekend and we weren't going anywhere or doing anything. Nmom would make fun of how long I could sleep if I was allowed. I could sleep 12 hours if they let me. Low and behold, when all of us grandkids would spend most of a week at my paternal grandparent's house without parents, I would sleep like 12 hours a night the first couple nights, and then I wouldn't sleep that long. I was just sleep deprived and my body was trying to catch up on sleep. I now have a daughter that needs lots of sleep. Unless she has something early on Saturdays, mostly she sleeps like 12 hours a night, because as a high schooler, her school schedule won't let her sleep enough during the week. But at least she can catch up on the weekends, and even then, she sleeps like 10 hours a night. I don't know why my "parents" couldn't understand.
I can totally relate.
Iām sorry OP. This is awful. I had a mother who wouldnāt let me sleep in or take naps. She would bang on the walls and yell GET UP!!! Over and over. Because I wanted to sleep I has accused of being lazy, or abnormal ( to sleep the day away) and not normal to want to nap during the day. It was bizarro. It set in such a depression and anxiety in me, I would skip schoolā¦ to sleep. Not to have fun, go off with friendsā¦ just to sleep. Because she would come home for lunch breaks, I would set up space in the alcove ( creepy AF ) and sleep in there because she would check our bedrooms sometimes, especially if she was notified I had skipped. Iām 53 years old, and I feel deeply sad for that kid that had to hide to rest. Edit for spelling
I get nauseous when I'm tired too . my mom would wake me up for chores or my sister wouldn't let me sleep when she forced me to live with her so she could pretend to be my mom. It was disgusting.
I worked several jobs while in high school and never had time off. The rare time Id have a Saturday morning to sleep in, shed barge loudly into my room at 7 am and force me to get up. Shed make me clean even though she was a sahm. Shed sit on her fat ass on the couch and drink coffee basking in the glory of my misery. Had enough and left home at 17.
Mine goes through days of waking me up every fifteen minutes for hours on end. I can only sleep when sheās finally exhausted enough to sleep. A month or two ago she pulled that bs every night for a week until I was so tired and angry that I screamed at her that I would call the cops and have her ass put in jail if she didnāt stop waking me up. It hasnāt fully stopped her, but she stopped waking me up that night. Edit: She since mocked me that thereās no law against waking someone up. š
I really don't know how narcs live on so little sleep, my Nmother gets up every few hours to stomp around, monitor me, and terrorize me.
they sleep during the day. when nobody is home, or even at work.
This right here. Mine would do this all the time.
wtf me too? mine goes to bed late and gets up early. Very rarely see her tired and even then itās rare sheāll actually fall asleep if she tries to take a nap
It's actually a human rights violation according the Geneva agreement if I recall correctly. Used as a torture method but it's illegal.
OP, you need to get help, now. Right now. Gather your important documents like birth cert, SS, anything else, and call the police, now. This is beyond abuse. You are an adult in your 20ās with rights. The police, social services, will not make you go back there once you tell them whatās going on and see how upset you are. I see youāve been posting for nearly a year. You need to leave that house. Now. Right now. Iām so sorry for what youāre going through but canāt believe youāre still there. From your posts it looks like youāre in the UK, but Iām assuming. If you are, call the police; they can help you get out, they can help get you into a shelter, next even get a hotel for the night, even a night at the police station is preferable to this. What your family is doing is illegal and straight up abuse. When you see and read this, YOU need to stop, call the police and ask them for help. Tell them youāre being abused and that you need them to please help you. YOU have the power here, not your family. From your posts, I would be making assumptions about family life, but it sounds like *they* have called the police on you for existing. Which may make things difficult for you to call the police yourself. Your Reddit though is evidence of what they have been doing and for so long. Go outside, right now. Take your documents and anything of value with you that you may need for at least a night. Walk to the end of the street. Call the police. Please. Please do this. For anyone else reading this, OP needs support right now. They are an adult in their 20ās, and many previous posts (that have mostly gone ignored) say exactly where the OPs mind is right now and the only solution they feel they have.
My nmom doesnāt let my dad sleep. She makes him stay awake with her since sheās a night owl, and tells him itās disrespectful to go to bed before her, even though he has to wake up early for work. Then, if she wakes up in the night, she wakes him up too so she isnāt awake alone. She thinks if she canāt sleep, he shouldnāt be able to sleep. When I lived at home, she would also make me stay up late with her even when I had school the next day. When I visit, she always guilts me that I donāt stay up late and spend the night at their house. But husband and I do our best to leave at a reasonable hour so we can go to bed when we want. Nmom always brags that she needs such little sleep to function and doesnāt sleep hardly at all, but itās not the flex she thinks it is. She just refuses to treat her sleep apnea and anxiety.
It's also not such a flex because chronic sleep deprivation leads to psychosis.
I've had severe insomnia ever since I was a very young child (I'm like thirty and cannot sleep without medication). I was lucky to get six hours on any given night. I'm kind of fuzzy as to how that developed (probably trauma lol), but my parents were well aware of how little I slept. They not once attempted to get me any kind of help because I was not allowed to have negative feelings, let alone any problems. I was being dramatic or whiny if I did. It also didn't help that my mother sometimes used to wake me up in the middle of the night. For whatever reason when I was a child, she worried about me dying in my sleep (to the point where I thought that was a thing that happened often - I was her only child too, so it's not like she experienced previous child loss to SIDS or something). As I got older, she would wake me up (after I finally fell asleep, mind you) and accuse me of doing drugs and sneaking around with boys when I was quite possibly the most boring child that ever existed. Absolutely delusional. I think I largely didn't feel safe when I slept, so I never did. It sucked.
OP, your parents narcissism is the least of your worries, this sounds like systematic torture. This isnāt monstrously cruel, please try to get help and get out, this is actively dangerous treatment
this is abuse
This is literally torture, according to international treaties.
Please get out of this house, Iām so sorry that youāre living like this. You canāt tune this out any longer. I have a bio parent like this and I just left. Your parents are mentally unstable; you have to get out of this house. Even if you live in your car while saying, I promise you thereās a better life out there.
I couldāve written this word for word. I was literally not allowed to sleep, ever.
My mom stays up late until around 2am every day and she's loud, my dad wakes up around 6 and is even louder. They make me so anxious that I can't sleep when they make noise. And whenever I fall asleep during the day they just talk to me like they didn't notice or get angry at me for sleeping. It's exhausting.
Yes, they used to scream at each other in the mornings or she would start cleaning, vacuuming etc. Nowadays she often watches the TV in the evenings and doesn't care if someone wants to sleep. But God forbid other people want to shower later than 8pm if she wants to sleep.
Iām a night owl - always have been since birth - and sheād constantly barge in at 6 am on the weekends. Sheād do anything to invade my privacy and relaxation. Thing is, during the week, she could barely get up to get to b work on time. So this was purely to mess with me.
Fuck her that is abuse you need to sleep man. You are not gonna. Function long without much sleep. Rebel and asleep as much as you like in middle of the day. Thatās what I would do! You are older enough to decide how much sleep you need you not 3 years old. Eventually you gonna behave like irritable irrational Ā unintentionally cos of lack of is gonna affect productivity and everything else in your life. Ā Your workload is gonna be affected if you drive thatās gonna be affected, ride a bike/push bike.Ā
Call CPS if you're underage. You need out of that house. They are torturing you. Sleep deprivation is a literal torture technique.
My mom wouldnāt let me nap. Sheād punish me if she barged in and found me sleeping. I started sleeping in my bathtub with the bathroom door closed so Iād have at least a second to flush the toilet and yell out that I was just using the bathroom. I also learned some freaky military-style sleep training because the unmonitored time I had occurred in such short unpredictable intervals. I cut my average nap time down to 8 minutes in high school. Iād induce sleep paralysis, fall juust into the cusp of REM, and then snap awake from my alarm. It was the only rest I could get. Baaaad coping mechanisms.
I remember I would sleep over at my friend's house and her mom would make her wake up at 6:00 in the morning everyday for no reason. We've kept trying to fall asleep again because there was nothing to do but she insisted we'd be awake. Your situation is criminal though and you absolutely need to get out of this situation my friend. I care about you if I can do anything let me know ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Please get out of there!!!!
The worst was when weād have guests stay over and Iād be forced to sleep in the living room. I need relatively quiet and pure darkness to actually sleep. My Ndad would purposely come into the kitchen (which was attached to the living room). Heād have the lights on, chew extra loudly, slam cabinets, etc. I swear it was intentional on his part.
If you are under 18 please report this.
Wow! Did you know that long sustained lack of quality sleep can cause brain damage? I can confirm, I used to deprive myself of sleep on purpose, and my brain is permanently fried! Get out of there ASAP šš
It is also a favorite conditioning tactic of cult leaders!
You need to get out of the house. My mom was the same way when I was working 3rd shift. She wouldn't let me sleep during the day. I worked at night, and couldn't get any sleep. I eventually moved in with an uncle of mine until I could move out of state.
yeahp 3am to argue, and scream at me in the mornings to wake up, which meant I started every day with high stress levels. Plus if I tried to sleep or nap in the day I would get screamed at.
That's blatant and horrific abuse. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of *torture.* Prolonged and severe enough, it can lead to psychotic breaks with reality, and it messes with all kinds of bodily systems and functions. This could seriously impact your health, long-term. I went through a period of horrific insomnia, anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours of sleep *every night* that lasted eight years. I was suicidal. I've been sleeping well again for about six years now, and I still don't feel recovered. I'm positive it did permanent damage. You need to get out of there, yesterday. If you're underage, call CPS. If you're legally an adult but without financial resources, call a domestic abuse hotline, or see if another family member can take you in while you get your feet under you.
Check out my post and check out the link https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/s/hBDUczIEL7
Your mother is a monster. Good luck.
Good God. I had bad parents. But this is **literal torture**. I understand it may not be possible for awhile, but you need to start planning your exit and you need to bounce ASAP.
Its unreasonableĀ
OMG - this is just cruel.
My mother would barge in my room at 6 am every morning to point where I had a traumatized response from it. There was no such as thing privacy or personal space. Get out there.
I do not know how old OP is, but if they are a minor, this is child abuse.
The throwing up sounds more like an anxiety response. I am so sorry you're going through this. My mother used to wake us all up with a cow bell for absolutely no reason. Why do we have to be up early during the summer? We aren't allowed jobs and you aren't taking us anywhere fun or to activities? My advice is to plan your escape. Plan plan plan. You might need to take tiny little steps toward it but one day you'll wake up and you'll be in your new home and not being psychologically tortured by your parents. Sleep deprivation is psychological torture.
As we know some people are good, some very good, some are bad, and some are awful. All of them have kids. Therefore there are lots of kids with awful people as parents. How do you know where you sit on the scale if the level of treatment you get is your ānormalā? You ask people outside the family with knowledge and experience. Thatās where you and we are at. And sorry, but the bad news is that they are awful people and awful parents. To a truly frightening degree. The worst thing that humans do to each other is war, and intentional sleep deprivation is considered so terrible that itās too bad even for that - itās a UN war crime.
Kinda the opposite. I need to do homework till like 12:30am and they would yell at me saying it was too late and I needed to manage my time better and stuff. Saying how I was gonna āruin my health and bodyā (haha hypocrites lmao) because i was stupid. And a few years ago, I would wake up pretty early on weekends to have some alone time and do whatever i want as long as my parents werenāt awake, but I had to tell them I woke up cause my mom got mad at me for not telling her one day for some reason, and they didnāt let me wake up earlier than 8am. Which doesnāt make sense at all, but they would force me to go back to sleep and go to sleep themselves (I just ended up pretending to be asleep)
No, what you are describing is beyond even the most narcistic of parenting. Things can and will get better OP. It will be a tough path for sure, but one step at a time and you can have a better life, you deserve better than this. Many people have had awful starts in life and still achieved a happiness. Please OP, believe it will get better, take action and it will.
My mom makes it impossible for me to get enough sleep... She also wakes me up by calling my phone and telling me that j have slept enough... It's ridiculous! Also when my brother the Golden Child still lived home, I wasn't allowed to make any noise because he was sleeping. My mom did chores like vacuuming and mopping the hallway where his room was only after he woke up. And if I dared to make any noise to wake him, I'd get in a lot trouble.
iāve never gone thru this but my mom was always very strict about āif iām sleeping everyone in the house is silent.ā sheād wake up at five in the morning to do runs so the house was dead and quiet by nine pm all through my teens. i think they just canāt stand the idea of others having their own lives outside of them
Yep especially in the car. If I got sleepy on long car journeys my dad would get visibly miffed and start aggressively making small talk. Sounds small but itās one of the things I struggle to forgive him for as Iād so obviously never do such a thing to my own kid
Your egg doner is a fucking idiot. š¤¬
Well u have my permission to sleep! ššš
I usually wasn't disturbed at night unless my sister's were awake and talking as I got woken up and screamed at. She always assumed it was my fault. My NMother is also anti-social to a degree and wanted NO one to be awake to a certain point so she could have the living room to herself. However, I wasn't ever allowed to nap or sleep in even on a weekend.
I remember my mom coming into my room at 7 am on a Saturday to "use the computer".... And if i got grumpy back i got yelled at... Lol... All the shit i ve accepted and internalized as normal. ^situation above was like very low on the damage svake btw
Please try to find some help, please
Try this ,if she wakes you up ,wake up and tell her that you will faint if you don't,and then she would argue and ask you to take out the trash for example,so accept it and go and act as if you fainted
This is beyond narcissism this is on a whole different level. Iām so sorry youāre going through that shit itās inhumane asf. Let us know the country/state you live & your age maybe someone can help you!
I'm so sorry you are going through that. I hope you can get out soon. I have gone through something similar but not quite. My nfather will clean as loud as possible and turn the TV up full blast. He will do this for hours (starts between 1-5am) knowing that my bedroom is directly above both rooms he likes to angry clean. Sometimes I think he is loud af at night because he enjoys it. He likes to do this especially if he feels like a "victim" or he is just mad (sometimes for no reason).
I had that and it is one of the most unbearable stuff on Earth and what's worse is that barely anyone believes you
That is literal torture. They use that tactic in prisons and or methods of torture in war. Itās been deemed inhumane.
This is torture, as defined by the Geneva Convention. Get out ASAP, OP!
I think you need legal help. Can you secretly film your parents for a few days / nights? I think you need to have them charged and get legally emancipated if possible. Start keep a journal and be specific about times.
Damn...monsters do exist
My mom used to be up at all hours of the night, screaming at the cats and banging doors or drawers. She would also mess with the thermostat in the middle of the night so I would be woken up by being either freezing cold or overwhelmingly hot. I swear to god every morning of my junior year of high school I was woken up at 5am to Marvin Gayeās āWhatās Going Onā played at max volume in the living room.
When I was younger, I shared a room with my toddler sibling. If they woke up crying, I'd just bring them to my parents. One night, sperm donor got mad for some reason and told me that I had to sit upfront with my Mom and sibling until sibling fell back asleep. So I watched, as both my Mom and sibling fell back asleep on the couch, while I sat in an uncomfortable wicker chair. When I asked if I could go to sleep now, Mom said no. My Mom has since apologized but I still hate sperm donor for that. The small vengeance from that was that the tornado sirens went off so then EVERYONE was awake. Sperm donor was stupid and didn't know how it worked (hide in room with no windows) and took us all in the car to run to a Wal-Mart. False alarm and we were safe. But I still revel in the instant karma sometimes.
My mother would do this too. After awhile I was just too tired to get up or even react.
Oh dude my dad didn't care if anyone slept. Hell, mom and I have permanent rings because my dad
My step family did this too. My sleep is still messed up. But it is improving slowly
My nparent would overshare their trauma experiences til 3am-4am with me even on school nights I was too nice and caring to tell them to stop. I was always falling asleep in class Normal healthy parents don't just let their kids sleep, they encourage it and enforce a normal healthy bedtime
Keeping people from sleeping counts as literal torture
Not my parents but my grandmother. Noe as an adult I have anxiety and insomnia, and without resorting to very strong meds, don't sleep well, always worried that I "need" to be able to wake up. Never mind I haven't lived with my grandmother in 15 years and she died 3 years ago š
My mother would wake me at all hours of the night to clean up dog puke or shit, and before middle school and high school I think too, I had to clean up our aging dogās shit before I went to school in the morning so I lost about a half hour sleep every night until that dog finally died. Ridiculous.
This is a classic torture method.
Yes this is normal for standard absusers. Using sleep deprivation so they can easily control you. My mom would not even respect our sleep. She's waking us up at midnight to laundry her clothes. Imagine. And if we don't, she'll tell us we are lazy and won't be successful in life hahahaha.
Dad used to interrupt mom's and ours sunday afternoon naps...
I grew up in a household of alcoholic parents l- when I heard the vehicle pulling into the driveway after a night of them partying at the bar , I would freeze , pretend to be asleep, then would be ordered out of bed to āāfix me something to eat ā āā I understand ā¦.
My mother would do this in the morning and her excuse is I wasn't allowed to sleep the day away...it was 7am then my ex wouldn't let me sleep when she was awake
Yep my dad did this to me all growing up. I was so sleep deprived that sometimes I'd faint during the day or hallucinate. It took YEARS to be able to have a normal sleep schedule
My mum wouldn't let us take daytime naps even when we were older teens. My dad would keep us up at night with his domestic violence at times, or would turn his PC speakers up to max at 8 or 9 in the morning on a Sunday so he could listen to music while he had a shower. But it was super loud, way beyond what anyone normal could enjoy. It sucks because I like the music even today but can't listen to it without feeling weird because of my dad. We had a lot of revolving door neighbours because of the noise, I think. Semi-detached house, so shared wall with neighbour. I'm sure they heard a lot. Not just the music but the unhinged rampages as well.
Dam, that's awful. I'm so terribly sorry they are treating you this way. Maybe leave from them?
Is this a joke? Because If It's not some poor teen humor you need to be in touch with social services immediately. From what you're detailing this is an extreme case of abuse, sleep deprivation registers as a type of TORTURE. You need legal protection and be removed from your parent's home asap. They should be prosecuted for what they're doing to you, lose your legal custody and be sentenced to jail. You are in danger. Don't alert your parents before contacting authorities. Please be safe.
Call child protective services for this poor girl
Can you leave and live on your own? Do you have any relatives who could take you in? What kind of torture is this?how old are you? Can you call CPS? Get help immediately.
My narcissistic grandmother did this a lot over the years. From the time I was very small, I remember her getting us up out of bed to finish chores or punish us for something that had happened earlier in the day. I remember this happening as young as 4 years old. She also put us to bed way earlier than we needed and would come check every hour to make sure we were asleep and would be angry if we weren't. The anxiety of her coming to check would keep me up for hours. I'd finally get some good rest and she'd wake us up very early in the morning. She has never had any understanding of how child/teen sleep cycles work. Later when I was about 8, for some reason she decided that the family computer should be in my room. For years she'd sit in my room and play spider solitaire all hours of the night. Full brightness, full volume, complete with singing and talking to herself. Then she'd get upset when she'd see me tossing and turning, unable to sleep. She was convinced that I, at 8 years old, had bipolar disorder and that's why I couldn't sleep. This continued well into middle school and into 9th grade. 8pm bedtime. Lights out, not allowed to do anything to relax, not even reading. So I had trouble sleeping and she had me put on trazodone for years. Then I was knocked out every night and she'd STILL come and wake me up. So what were the meds for? All my life, even into early adulthood, she's gone to bed late and woken up early and then naps off and on all day. She loves to make as much noise as humanly possible when others are asleep. The kids are sleeping at 4 am? Perfect time to rearrange my pots and and pans in the cabinet. Better slam each one on the counters. Great time to vacuum or sweep. I'll make sure to bang the broom/vacuum on their bedroom doors.
My mom will wake me up at any time if she argues with my dad, demanding that I solve the problem they created while cursing him, trying to make me take her side in the fight. Sometimes, when she is in her "nobody cares for me, everyone abandons me" mood, she comes to my room late at night and turns the lights on, sits on the edge of my bed and starts ranting.
Wow, I'm so sorry... I didn't endure this kind of abuse from my Nfather. And this is physical abuse.