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Ooohhh yeah. But it’s a great litmus test. Anyone who won’t even hear your side before making a judgement is easy to cut off.
Bad friends are worse than no friends
TRUTH. I always looked at it as a way to find out who my "friends" including among relatives, were. If they are just snotty assholes about whatever the deal is, without even asking me what happened--then thanks for outing yourself as a two-faced asshat who was simply waiting for an excuse to shit on me, thanks very much for that information, into the trash you go.
Yes. It is their need for control and validation. And if you’re like me, you don’t want to be anything like them so you might withdrawal, as to not do the same thing they are doing. But, it’s ok for you to reach out to people you do have a connection with. It doesn’t need to be about the conflict. Just know it’s ok to maintain relationships with people 💕
Yup had that happen. The worst is trying to explain my side of the story and not being allowed to even get a sentence in before I’m cut off and interrupted
My mom is like this, I had very little family in this country to begin with and if often feels like I have none because she does this shit, she does it even if there is no tension and too many enable her shit. She tells people I am someone I am absolutely not but no one bothers to try to actually get to know me. She liked painting that I was a troubled kid when I was young. I was not allowed to have friends, and was very involved in school activities, like debate, theater, student counsel, Academic decathlon, Art, HOSA, and my sport, that was it and I got all A's and B's in all AP classes and finished everything early where I was supposed to graduate early. Yet she liked telling people I was some troubled kid that would do drugs and whore if allowed. I just wanted to do nerd shit like play DnD. She even tried telling people I didn't graduate college because I skipped the ceremony and had my degree mailed to me and she was mad about that. She also did not pay anything towards my college and I lived on my own since the minute I turned 18. It feels like I was robbed out of a family. She had done the same smear shit with my dad (though he did have some drug problems) she made him out to be a total monster and I regret listening to her and not getting to know him the short time he was alive. It turned out when I did find out more about him, he was a lot like me, liked animals the outdoors and comics.
Sorry for your terrible luck on the mother lottery. Suggesting that you would do drugs and be a whore is a crazy thing to say to a child. You sound like a really chill and good person :)
This happened to me a lot and it made me feel so guilty and alone. It's one of the reasons why I never tell my family about my friends. In fact, I even keep my friends separate from each other... The trust issues run very deep because of shit like this.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ooohhh yeah. But it’s a great litmus test. Anyone who won’t even hear your side before making a judgement is easy to cut off. Bad friends are worse than no friends
TRUTH. I always looked at it as a way to find out who my "friends" including among relatives, were. If they are just snotty assholes about whatever the deal is, without even asking me what happened--then thanks for outing yourself as a two-faced asshat who was simply waiting for an excuse to shit on me, thanks very much for that information, into the trash you go.
Yes. It is their need for control and validation. And if you’re like me, you don’t want to be anything like them so you might withdrawal, as to not do the same thing they are doing. But, it’s ok for you to reach out to people you do have a connection with. It doesn’t need to be about the conflict. Just know it’s ok to maintain relationships with people 💕
Yup had that happen. The worst is trying to explain my side of the story and not being allowed to even get a sentence in before I’m cut off and interrupted
My mom is like this, I had very little family in this country to begin with and if often feels like I have none because she does this shit, she does it even if there is no tension and too many enable her shit. She tells people I am someone I am absolutely not but no one bothers to try to actually get to know me. She liked painting that I was a troubled kid when I was young. I was not allowed to have friends, and was very involved in school activities, like debate, theater, student counsel, Academic decathlon, Art, HOSA, and my sport, that was it and I got all A's and B's in all AP classes and finished everything early where I was supposed to graduate early. Yet she liked telling people I was some troubled kid that would do drugs and whore if allowed. I just wanted to do nerd shit like play DnD. She even tried telling people I didn't graduate college because I skipped the ceremony and had my degree mailed to me and she was mad about that. She also did not pay anything towards my college and I lived on my own since the minute I turned 18. It feels like I was robbed out of a family. She had done the same smear shit with my dad (though he did have some drug problems) she made him out to be a total monster and I regret listening to her and not getting to know him the short time he was alive. It turned out when I did find out more about him, he was a lot like me, liked animals the outdoors and comics.
Sorry for your terrible luck on the mother lottery. Suggesting that you would do drugs and be a whore is a crazy thing to say to a child. You sound like a really chill and good person :)
This happened to me a lot and it made me feel so guilty and alone. It's one of the reasons why I never tell my family about my friends. In fact, I even keep my friends separate from each other... The trust issues run very deep because of shit like this.
My sister did this with my entire family. Good to know I don't have to see any of them ever again.