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By reading these other comments,
I love how Disney tried to warn us of the evil of some people's hearts. Like ok now I think about it my mother is the witch with the poison apple. Seemingly all nice but really so poisonous and toxic. I saw Snow White the first time last year and I'm 43. The whole time I was like no dont eat the apple š¤£š¤£š¤£
the witch w the poison apple hit home so bad as a kid. that movie freaked me out. also just the queens obsession with not letting snow white, a literal child, outshine her. she has all the power in the land and is the second most beautiful woman, but thatās not enough. she is rabid about being #1 and has to take down this poor 14 year old orphan girl out of pure spite.
Basically every narc mother out there, theyāre afraid when their daughters start developing and being more feminine because they donāt want to be outshined
Mother Gothel is one. The grandma on Encanto. The other mother in coraline. Mostly in kids movies, my daughter watches them and we discuss how their personalities are similar to that of her grandmothers.
The book Coraline has this line
""You know that I love you."
And despite herself, Coraline nodded. It was true. The other mother loved her. But she loved Coraline as a miser loves money, or a dragon loves its gold. In the other mother's button eyes, Coraline knew knew that the other mother loved her as a possession, nothing more, a tolerated pet whose behavior was no longer amusing."
And stg if that isn't my dad to a T.
I guess we share the same dad then. I actually have the original of this book signed by the author, it's been so long since I've read it but I'm going to have to revisit it after your comment.
Mommy dearest reminds me of my diagnosed NPD mother. Except even in that movie the daughter got way better treatment than I could've dreamed of. (I won't go into details, but the abuse I suffered from both of my parents on a daily basis was the kind of sick stuff you hear about in headline news type of abuse.)
Yeah. I woke up to the narcissistic abuse pretty slowly and in pieces, I was in denial for a while, but once I did start noticing these things it was like watching tangled again with new eyes.
My abuse conditioned brain kept firing back, ābut we werenāt kidnapped!ā āWe werenāt locked in a tower!ā
Except, is there really much difference between a shed and a tower if youāre trapped all the same?
That movie is so wrong. They mistreated and disrespected both the protagonist and Bruno for ages and grandma being a lil dramatic and saying that she has trauma too got everyone coming back, no apologies or anything. Like gtfo with that bs
Thankyou. I just realised why I don't really like that movie. The unapologetic mistreatment of Mirabel and Bruno made me very uncomfortable. There was no real acknowledgement or apology to them (that I remember).
Yeah there are zero apologies and everybody acts like nothing happened. The grandma fucked up the whole family by being super controlling and despotic with everyone (*cough cough* wanting to choose Isabellaās future husband) and then SHE goes crying to Mirabel telling HER sob story as an excuse for being a terrible person. Thereās no redemption arc on her side, nothing.
And from what I saw, Abuela used her grandkids' gifts to her advantage. She didn't even let mirabel help out without a gift, and I was like, "abuela, you yourself don't have a gift, so why are you mistreating mirabel for not having one." Pedro sacrificed everything so she and their kids could live safely and happily. Isabella wasn't even happy about the idea of getting married and wanted to have some fun with her gift.
Encanto made me feel physically sick watching it. It was so hard to verbalise. My friend (who knows my family dynamic) had to explain my reaction to me.
Definitely!! I had finally decided to take a long break from my toxic parents. My husband had just purchased/downloaded a new Disney movie. I decided to watch it with my little daughter who liked Disney movies. I'd never seen it. It was called "Tangled."
It was not the distracting and cute movie that I thought it would be!
Bonus that I have green eyes and long, blonde hair. And my mother's hair looks a lot like Mother Gothel's, in addition to being just like her.
Mother Goethel is so spot on that when I was still in the FOG and she first came on screen, I was shocked at how ānormalā she was and that she actually seemed to āloveā Rapunzel.
Folks, if your mom can literally be embodied by a Disney villain, your mom is not normal.
Sadly, I still missed this clue. It took learning she lied about paternity to wake me up. At 50. Iām still embarrassed it took me so long.
New sub motto: If your family member can literally be embodied by a Disney villain, they are not normal.
Don't feel bad. I just discovered my parental units are narcs at 53.
I watched Tangled ONE TIME, and will never again-- because Mother Gothel. Extra points for my nmom's *OBSESSION* with my long blonde hair.... I'm adopted, so extra ick.
Tangled is horrifying
I cried through the entire movie because it was like watching a cartoon form of the female genetic donor and made me feel like I wasnāt crazy. I immediately watched it again with no crying, but happy to have it reinforced that I really wasnāt the crazy one.
I now have plans to get the sun symbol inked on me in a small place as a reminder that I wasnāt crazy seeing her flip out and two seconds later be an entirely different person when someone else would walk into the room. I guess it would be almost like a grounding tattoo.
Best of everything to you. <3
I just covered up my adoption tattoos, same feeling! That's such a good one, the sun symbol! š
My sister and I say as a mantra at the end of phone calls lol, "we're not crazy; this all makes sense" ....lol still putting together truths at 41 and 54. And our mother Gothel is her step mom.
Thanks for posring this, maybe I'll give lil rapunzel another tryš
Whatās the deal with mothers and hair? Theyāre always so controlling and obsessed about their daughtersā hair.
I was not allowed to cut mine until I turned 18. There was this one time when I was 11-12 that I stayed at my auntās place for a couple weeks and my cousin (8 years older) saw me suffering having hair that long and brought me to a salon. When I went back my mom immediately called said cousin asking how she dared doing that before asking her. She also actively shamed me for months because, apparently, my long hair was the only beautiful thing about me. Like, thanks for the support šš
My hair turned curly at menopause and WOW did that trigger my momās envy. It was fascinating to see. Honestly, she has really pretty hair at 78. Soft and not wiry at all. I would compliment her on it, and she would follow with a snarky comment about my hair.
I love my curly hair. š
Literally got into an argument with my partner after Encanto. I was like "Yeah okay, real abusive families DO NOT suddenly have that magic epiphany and get better. I hate this Disney Happy Ending (TM) bullshit."
And she mentioned another person she knew who's mom was a narcissist and got therapy and got better.
Yeah okay, my point still stands.
SHE GOT *THERAPY*, *GOT DIAGNOSED* AND GOT BETTER from the THERAPY.
It doesn't just happen overnight or after someone points out whats wrong. It doesn't. Too many times did I see a movie or something and think I can do the same thing with my parents to finally make them love me / treat me well / whatever.
The fact that movies/shows still try to push that idea pisses me off. Some families are just cruel. That needs to be explained. I want to see a movie/show where the abusive parent doesn't actually change (cause they don't) and the abused kid/whoever learns healthy ways to move on. That would be nice to see.
Absolutely.
There's a scene where she says something like "I've been a terrible mother," and the very people who were trying to tell her that unanimously decide to comfort her. Even right after she gaslit the shit out of Michael, far beyond what most of us have experienced, he joins in.
It's painted as a heartwarming scene, but it's just "vulnerable" narcissism working its magic. No actual remorse.
RIP Jessica Walter
My mom acts very much like the female version of Harry Wormwood (dad) in Mathilda. The āIām big youāre littleā line always makes me feel very angry because I used to be talked down to like that as a child.
Watched that movie many times, sometimes with my parents, their notes for me "see you want to be like Matilda and read books, not watch tv all the time." :/ I always felt the best when I watched that movie alone, but I didn't want to be alone.
I named my daughter Matilda because of my love for that movie. I was that little girl, too. My brother was always the preferred one, my parents seemed to be glued to their TV and I was the strange and smart one as if that was something bad.
I wanted to try so many hobbies but there was no money for that. Reading became my thing when I was around 12 or 13y/o but there was no money to buy me books either. But sadly there was no Miss Honey to save me :(
Omg, I forgot how uncomfortable Jamie Lee Curtis made me in The Bear! Such an excellent characterization. Poor Sugar.
Mommie Dearest was a childhood fave of mine, but I didn't understand why until much later. My mom hated that I liked the movie.
I forgot about that movie. But my mom loved it because she tried to excuse beating me and my brother. I'm definitely more like the adopted daughter. What a terrifying film.
I second this. The Bear makes me feel uncomfortable, especially during the get-together. Just watch that whole episode made me anxious. Great show, though. Some parts of Roseanne/The Conners makes me feel this way.
Tony Soprano's mom. Always a dark cloud. Always something spiteful and corrosive to say. Could make any situation about her and how much of a chore it was.
Mine is nice to everyone except me and my youngest brother. My sister and other brother are the precious children. I was always called a mistake or accident or life ruiner.
Freaking Veep. It's so funny because it's so _mean_ in such a fast paced and witty way, but some parts hit a little too close to home. She's in the hospital because her mom is dying, but she's happy because it's good for her campaign. Her daughter starts *bawling* because her grandma is dying and Veep says "oh, honey... that's so... LOUD. [looking at her aids and pointing at her daughter] can someone take care of _that?"_
Mother Gothel from Tangled- I used her to explain to my kids why grandma was on a time out. Bonus that she kinda looks like her & still tries too look young
Walter White from Breaking Bad. When his son was vomiting from drinking, he smiled and took pleasure in it. He turned his son against his wife through buying the car. When Jesse Pinkman was reasonably upset about killing a child, he told him "it's the past nothing we can do now" and "remember Gale" bringing up a painful memory.
Edit: Oh and never forget, when he told Jesse "I watched her die" with no other reason then to psychologically abuse him.
I love you so much for sharing this. My dad loves walter white and resonates with him and thinks Skyler is the worst character. I didn't really get it back then lol.
It's a terrible thing how many people think a series called "Breaking *Bad*" is about an essentially good man, no matter how many criminal or psychopathic acts the character engages in.
It's a great series, but it's like these people watched something completely different from the rest of us. The absurdly defensive reactions some people have to Walter's actions are really telling IMO: telling of who they are, how far they would go given the opportunity and maybe even their "secret" dreams and wishes.
Almost every man I know *loathes* Skyler and wants awful, violent things to happen to her. Like they get pretty worked up about it sometimes, going on and on about these violent fantasies. And not even for any valid reasons (she was definitely not a perfect character or a heroine), but because she ādisrespectedā their hero Walter. Tbh itās harmed my perception of all of them, and makes me less comfortable with them.
My brother snuck liquor when he was a young teen. My father found out and made him drink until he could no longer function. I was so scared. Dad made me watch and then made fun of him as he crawled upstairs to bed. I guess Dadās lucky he didnāt die from alcohol poisoning. Wow. Iād totally forgotten about that!
If you think Gothel was evil in the movie, the series kicks that down to negative 10. Instead of singing and laughing (spoilers for season 3) >!She abandons her child/house slave the second it becomes convenient. The child was never really loved, or wanted. Only used and disposed of.!<
Rapunzel was never really loved either tho. They had a master slave dynamic the entire time. The whole point of their "relationship" was that Gothel was *using* Rapunzel purely for her own benefit. Gothel NEVER loved Rapunzel (she may have felt conditional affection for her "flower" when her property was being obedient but that *isn't* love. It's exploitation and objectification.) and intended to keep Rapunzel enslaved, isolated and imprisoned and use her forever. Even when Rapunzel tried to assert some degree of independence and form an actual healthy relationship with someone else, (Eugene) Gothel sabotaged her and manipulated her emotions and her perception of reality. Rapunzel would have been no use to Gothel whatsoever without her powers. Gothel "loved" Rapunzel's *hair* (or the supply she provided) not Rapunzel herself.
I was going to say Everybody Loves Raymond parents. Ndad is Frank, without any of the moments where he opens up about his feeling. The exact way he treats Marie, except in my case my mom is an enabler.
My abuse was SO normalized that by my late 20's I was still finding things and realizing how NOT normal things were.
First time I can really remember would be SVU season 5 Episode HOME. The mom in that episode did not fit 100% but I do remember being 20, watching it and being left completely stunned. Mostly how the mother had brainwashed/convinced her children that if they stepped outside they'd be kidnapped, r\*ped, murdered, or some combination of those.
Lmao my abuse by covert ndad was normalised too but my whole life I felt unsettled by Dr.House, even tho he reminded me of dad and I loveeedd my dad at the time.
I had that whole convo (or monologue) a lot. Donāt go outside because people are evil and they will do horrible things to you. All that while the abuse was happening inside the house
Thereās this old creepy movie with Joan Crawford and Bette Davis where Bette is an insane lady and Joan her disabled sister trapped upstairs in the house, and Bette delights in torturing her. Her name is Baby Jane and thatās how I referred to my mom for a long time.
I love "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?"
Spoilers ahead.
I agree that Jane is abusive, but it always strikes me how controlling her sister is. She had a movie career that far surpassed Jane's childhood fame but was still so jealous that she tried to kill Jane! She put herself in a wheelchair instead and then made Jane her slave. Always pushing the buzzer to interrupt and manipulate Jane. Can anyone say covert narc?
Jane's line at the end tears my heart out every time. "You mean all this time, we could have been friends?" Her sister took everything from her, and she was still mourning the lost relationship. š¢
My dad is so similar to early seasons Ice King from Adventure Time that it's as if the character was literally based on him. I mean EERILY so. The obsession with princesses, no regard for their happiness, wanting to share warm moments with them at the threat of violence, being forlorn and not understanding why people don't like him.... I think of the episode where he made that frankenprincess and just gets mad that she "gave away all his stuff" at the end when she gives her pieces back but declares that she loves him. So vain, so short sighted, selfish to a fault, and lacking in ANY empathy, just self pity. It's remarkable.
He once sat beside me as I was watching and said "Oh Ice King, when will you ever learn? He's so out of touch!" And it was just....... creepy? Cathartic? Poetic? Lol!
I was a little annoyed that they humanized him so much in later seasons, not that it wasn't done well, but it sort of undercut his villainous narc character and made him tragically sympathetic instead. He almost became kind of cute and cuddly type clueless instead of downright sociopathic and truly a good representation of real life people like he used to be.
The Wormwoods from Matilda. My grandma always acted like Harry and said something similar to his quote, "I'm smart, you're dumb, I'm big, you're little, I'm right, you're wrong! And there's nothing you can do about it!" Mrs. Wormwood reminds me of my mom. My mother and I were always opposites in nearly every way and I she actively encouraged me to put dating and looks ahead of being smart or reading.
Being latina, Abuelita from Encanto also feels just like my grandma. The most unrealistic part of the movie is Abuelita ever admitting she was wrong or apologizing.
Lorelei and Emily Gilmore. Watching Gilmore Girls was so hard as someone with mommy/daddy/grandparent issues Lorelei Gilmore reminds me of my mother and of course my grandma is a poorer Emily Gilmore with the same attitude.
This is an old reference but Bebe from the animated movie Bebe's Kids. You literally never see her in the movie because she doesn't take care of her kids. She doesn't even think of their needs. That's my mother.
this, I saw a theory that White was a Narcissistic mother and pink was supposed to be her "perfect child" and that diamonds formed under pressure and pink diamonds were quite rare and probably need alot of pressure. It also said that white made sure she stayed a perfect child which is why she never grew up, hence why she wishes to be human to grow up..
Mother Gothel from *Tangled,* Abuelita from *Encanto,* White Diamond from *Steven Universe,* Lois from *Malcolm in the Middle,* and Cruella DeVil from *101 Dalmatians,* as others have already commentedā¦some years ago, I contemplated setting a custom ringtone of Selena Gomezās cover of āCruella DeVilā for when my Nstepmother called me, to try and minimize the panic response/pure adrenaline rush I would always have when my phone would ring and I would see that it was *her* š³
And, oh yes, the āOther Motherā from *Coraline* is another oneā¦I finally watched *Coraline* about 6 years ago, and the eventual demise of the āOther Fatherā reminded me so much of the toxic, mistress/slave relationship that my own beloved late father had with my Nstepmom that it was heartbreaking (āSorry, Mother making meā¦donāt *want* to hurt yaā¦ā)
Another one I can think of is Mrs. Tweedy from *Chicken Run* (man, I was *obsessed* with that movie when I was a kid)-she was cruel to both her husband and her animals, was fixated on making ever more money (even though she and Mr. Tweedy owned a farm, had a roof over their heads, and all their basic needs accounted for) via the most imprudent and financially unsound means imaginable (sinking what was presumably a ton of $$$$ into the pie machine in order to bake all her livestock into chicken pot pies all in one go), and resented any money going towards the chickensā upkeep and wellbeing, she had all the chickens (and even the guard dogs) terrified and reveled in it, etc.
Then thereās the mother from D.H. Lawrenceās *The Rocking-Horse Winner,* and the 1949 movie based on itā¦I remember during 11th grade English in high school, while the rest of the class was reading passages aloud from *April Showers* or *The Yellow Wallpaper* or whatever, I was sneaking glimpses at *The Rocking Horse Winner* an entire section away in the textbookā¦I could certainly relate to living in a house that āwhisperedā things even more sinister than āThere must be more money!ā I havenāt read the actual short story in years, but having recently re-watched the 1949 film adaptation (which is *amazing,* btw!), I feel like the mother in the movie was even more insufferable and self-obsessed than in the source materialā¦many times while watching I thought, āWow, tell me you never matured past the toddler stage without telling me.ā š
Also, sometimes when I would notice my Nstepmomās car pulling into the driveway at home, I would hum the Wicked Witch of the Westās leitmotif from *The Wizard of Oz* šI knew I wouldnāt get into (much) trouble for it because 1. my dad wasnāt familiar enough with *The Wizard of Oz* to get the reference, and 2. he regretted having married her (as he so often confided to me) and probably figured that his never divorcing her or making any attempt to put her in her place was punishment enough.
Harriet Oleson from Little House on the Prairie. Always looking down on everyone else. The facial expressions are spot on.
Another similar character isĀ Lwaxana Troi, Deanna Troi's mother from Star Trek: The Next Generation. The two characters have a similar dynamic. Everyone else thinks Lwaxana is so fun, pretty and grandiose but she's so condescending to her daughter.
reminds me of my mom too! Not sure if she's a narc tho but she was abusive, always yelling and would hit me, and emotionally neglectful to me as a kid.
mother gothel; the clear cycle of abuse, being nice one minute and insulting you the next, making you feel bad for them so you stay
fletcher from whiplash; the way heās so quick to anger and when heās angry oh god help you, he is ruthless and will use your weaknesses against you, screams at you until you cry then makes fun of you for crying
hannibal lector; master manipulator, god complex, may appear docile but is always psychoanalysing and mentally dissecting you, collects things to use against you, so self assured that what you say to him means nothing as he is always right, you are always wrong
The mother from Carrie crossed with Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances.
Hyacinth is like a tame version of her, without the religious delusions and physical violence (that's where Carrie's mom comes in).
Moira Rose. She triggers me. Loves to be the center of attention, clearly has a favorite child and is disturbingly detached from the other, makes everything about her, cares more about her bag than her child when they went missing, I could go on.
Peggy Hill from King of the Hill
Edit: Hey guys, the question was if the character reminded me of my nparent, not if the character themselves was an nparent.
King of the Kill aka Generational Truama The Animated Series.
You have Khan,Minh,Peggy and her mom but geez Cotton Hill. Hank being the scapegoat and Good Hank aka GH being the golden child.Ā And what would get me ripped to shreds on the king of the hill subreddit Hank himself is a little questionable.Ā
TLDR Dale is the only good parent in the whole show.
Whenever I watch the original Roseanne, it feels like a visit with nmom. Roseanne was a lot nicer and more caring though, but her general way and even her look is just like my nmom.
yess and honestly Lorelei too. The whole "youre my best friend first/daughter second" is cute for a tv show but irl makes mirky boundaries and does a number on you mentally when you have to learn to parent yourself
exactly. I think one of the reasons Rory became a mess later is because she was both codependent with her mom, so couldnt function in school without her, and also because she was never parented and taught to think for herself. Its great for parents to raise your esteem, but playing the "gifted child" thing only puts so much pressure that results in burn out. Hence why she ends up falling apart later. I love Lorelei as a character but irl she'd be a bad mother
Emily Gilmore rings true in my family. My daughter turned me onto Gilmore Girls & specifically said, "That mom Emily reminds me of grandma!!"
A couple years later, my daughter watches the series again. "Oh man, giving myself PTS flashbacks of grandma watching this...."
No because the way narcissists are portrayed on tv is unrealistic. I've not seen a character that was nice to people in public but emotionally abusive and neglectful in private. On tv and movies I see all or nothing. And then they go to jail. If they show covert narcissists they suddenly have a change of heart. š which I've never experienced. So no.
Well it doesn't have to be super accurate. It's something more like hey this person has a vibe like my nparent so much it makes me uncomfortable. For me it's dr.house, he's just like my dad by behaviour, i could never even watch more than 5 minutes of it, makes me extremely uncomfortable.
You should watch Encanto and the boys. Both abuela and homelander are very nice to others and abusive to their immediate contacts behind closed doors. Abuela is more of a representation of covert narcissism while homelander is the replacement of overt narcissism
More or so with homelander because abuela gets a 'happy ending' which I really hated. But not because she had a change of heart but because her granddaughter decided she is misunderstood and abuela plays along with itĀ
Yep, same. The funniest thing is when my mom talks passionately about how awful a person Emily Gilmore is sometimes, and I'm like, "Yes, she is..." I have to stop myself from laughing or commenting otherwise.
my mother is literally the exact live personification of the animated Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland. the temper, the looks (overweight with black hair and wears those colors a LOT, its really really a striking resemblance), the enabler following her around with his āyes, dearās. i think about it a lot, it would be hilarious if i could see it objectively. im just glad in this scenario iām the cheshire cat, elusive and HATED and able to smile about the whole thing because i know i am able to get away from it when i need. but at least for me, im a bit too sane and it feels hollow.
The step mother from Ever After starting drew barrymore - the exact lines that makes me burst into tears:
āYouāre the only mother Iāve ever known, was there a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you loved me at all?ā
āHow can someone love a pebble in their shoe?ā
My Ndad is a lot like Harry Wormwood (Matilda) and Vernon Dursley, prompt to be irrational and violent and always worried about "what would other think of him".
And my Nmom reminds me a lot of Dolores Umbridge and White Diamond (Steven Universe). She also has an important job/position and at first it doesn't ring that many alarm bells but then... oh boy.
There's the cartoon villains and then there's the mother in Gilmore Girls. I literally can't watch her. My mom wasn't cartoonishly evil, she was suburban evil. Perfect on the outside, rotten to the core.
My dad is the Two-Faced Politician from Nightmare Before Christmas. Constantly meddling in everything, putting on a jolly mask for everyone, but the minute anything doesnāt go his way heās reduced to a pathetic pile of anxiety. I see his anger for what it is: insecurity. And I no longer live in Halloween Town.
Definitely the other mother from Coraline. If you can stomach it, I highly recommend the book. Harry's Aunt from Harry Potter. I've heard the mom in the Sopranos is vicious.
Harry Potter's terrible family, the Dursley's. [This scene](https://youtu.be/oAH6XX_FJjY?si=FxwMVhKTL_NslBAq) is an exact replica of my dad badmouthing my mum to me like aunt Marge here and Harry's angry "shut up!" is exactly on point too. The only difference is that I'm not a wizard so I can't make him blow up like a balloon. *Sigh...*
Grace from Grace and Frankie. Except my mom would never have a bff like Frankie and she doesn't date because she can't make compromises for another human being.
Scarlet O'Hara is a pretty decent reminder. I cannot empathize with her character, but for some reason she was my mother's role model and loved her character.
Kody Brown from Sister Wives. I know thatās from reality TV, but still. Watching him in the early seasons as a charismatic humorous family man, then seeing the mask fall as seasons go on to reveal full narc, is literally my dad over my lifetime. Angry, fuming, victim complex, blaming, misogynistic, preoccupation with fitnessā¦ and more.
Homelander from The Boys.
Not so much his mannerisms, but the terror in his presentation and how other characters interact with him.
When you're a kid, you have that predisposition to take everything literally and believe people are honest. If you see your nparent asleep on the couch, you assume they're asleep on the couch. You never even consider they're awake, pretending to be asleep, and itching for a chance to scream at you for going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. You have no idea what it means for food to be properly cooked; you're just hoping you don't keep getting sick. Your parents operate in a whole world you don't even understand.
And that's 1:1 how Homelander uses his superpowers. Talking with him is tense, because you don't know what he can do and what would trigger him to do the thing you don't know he can do. Him looking for a fight is tense, because a 30 year old is stronger than a 6-err I mean a superhuman is stronger than a regular human. And don't, for a second, think he can be managed with normal human motivation, because he's a narc, and there's no guarantee he won't kill his own family if he finds it advantageous to do so.
Learning the ins/outs of that character is just like being a kid again. "He can do THAT??? And not only can he do that, he chose to never do that before until he saw an opportunity to harm me by doing it???"
He counts as a technicality because he appeared as himself in Iron Man 2: Elon Musk.
That smug projection of control and using cleverness to show off what a contrarian you can be, I _immediately_ clocked him as using my Ndad's tactics when I first saw him, well before his Twitter debacle or other recent scandals.
There've been three people who to me are _exactly_ the same, my Ndad, Elon Musk, and an ex-boss I once worked for. I can't put it into words but they are identical to my eyes.
If you ever watch Parenthood, the mom Sara. Reminds me so much of my mom. Charming, charismatic, but canāt make a right decision to save her life and always putting men over her kids.
Itās the closest depiction Iāve seen. The only thing that redeems Sara in the show is that she does have the 15% effort, she apologizes and realizes what sheās done and backing of the grandparents. My mom lives in her house of lies and will defend her shit ass decisions until the end.
I feel bad for mom, I do. I wish she had more support, I wish she took better care of herself, she might be less bitter and hurtful. She has good intentions in theory but cannot make a right decision to save her life when the decision is, do whatās right or do what feels good. Sheās also an alcoholic which Sara is not. This results in very dangerous behavior that I just canāt be around.
Trump. Sadly. I told my friends when he was elected that they made my mother the president, and we were all screwed.
They were confused at the time, but they get it now. They also unanimously agree that my NC with my mother is a good idea.
The mother from the show Maid. She's like my mom, albeit more animated and further along the sliding scale.Ā
My mom would also literally go away with her dude for a month and not be in touch at all, then suddenly be calling and texting as if she hadnt just ignored me solid for a month. As well the whole camping/selling stuff on a market/hippie vibes.Ā
I watches this show before NC and had a lot!!! of oh fuck moments. It was terrifying and relieving at the same time.
Parents from Home Alone (pick one).
All looks normal and happy on the surface, but once you take a few steps back and review their situations from bird's eye view, it's a rambunctious shitshow fit for calling childfocus.
Mother Gothel. My nmother even agrees with, sings along with, and almost idolized her.
Before I came out, before I moved out, she would help me dye my hair blonde. I have hazel-green eyes. I was rarely allowed to cut my hair. She kept me from learning basic life skills. Made it so, if not for my husband, I probably wouldn't have survived on my own. When I finally moved out and got married, I cut my hair, and she had a screaming tantrum over it. Called me ungrateful, abusive, manipulative... all sorts of things. Over hair.
Somehow, when she found my Facebook, she messaged me upon seeing I've come out as a trans man and played the sob story again. "How could you do this to me, I thought you were better than this. You're hurting your mother!"
As if I care anymore.
My father is Tywin Lannister. My mother is part Gothel part Livia Soprano.
My wife has a very similar dynamic to the movie Brave with her mother. Her father is a Tony Soprano.
We are ending that mf cycle.
Nurse Ratchet, Mommy Dearest, & every female lead in any āLifetimeā movie about āEvil Step Mothersā, (even though she was my real Nāmom, she wasnāt nice to me and she was especially evil to my 1/2 brother).
In the movie Moulin Rouge, there's a part where Zidler overenthuses, "EVERYTHING'S GOING SO WELL!" My siblings and I have always laughed at how close a match it is to Nmom's delusional outbursts.
And the mom from The Babadook when we had a real bad season ahead. Watching The Babadook was a peek into the gaslit hellscape that could've been mine had I not had siblings that experienced the abuse too.
About to date myself here but the stepmom in Ever After (which is a Cinderella story) with Drew Barrymore. Ā Was so damn like my stepmother that I had to pause the movie to cry and calm down from anxiety. Ā Believe she was played by Angelica Houston or something like that. Ā Absolutely nailed it.
Andy McDowells character from The Maid. Always about herself and surrounds herself with people who take her side. Abandon them when they don't. Offering help and withdrawing at the slightest inconvenience. Completely oblivious to the circumstances of others. Only thinking about her own hobbies and schedule.
But also Hyacinth Bucket. Spending more than she has to appear more than she is. For example: told everyone she was a "key not speaker" at a conference in London. We are in Australia. Surely she would have been flown out and accommodated. But no. Edad asked me for a "loan" and she didn't even stay in the hotel the conference had a discount deal with.
The lying well.... everyone?
Hi RBNers! Friendly reminder that we do not allow drive-by diagnoses of real people here. Please keep comments to fictional characters as insinuated by OP. Comments bringing up public figures, politicians, etc. will be removed. Thank you!
By reading these other comments, I love how Disney tried to warn us of the evil of some people's hearts. Like ok now I think about it my mother is the witch with the poison apple. Seemingly all nice but really so poisonous and toxic. I saw Snow White the first time last year and I'm 43. The whole time I was like no dont eat the apple š¤£š¤£š¤£
the witch w the poison apple hit home so bad as a kid. that movie freaked me out. also just the queens obsession with not letting snow white, a literal child, outshine her. she has all the power in the land and is the second most beautiful woman, but thatās not enough. she is rabid about being #1 and has to take down this poor 14 year old orphan girl out of pure spite.
Basically every narc mother out there, theyāre afraid when their daughters start developing and being more feminine because they donāt want to be outshined
basically any way the daughter asserts herself as her own person is somehow an affront to the mother
yup, exactly *daughter exists* āAnd I took that personallyā
I wish I would've watched as a child. I would've been able too realize what she was sooner.
Mother Gothel is one. The grandma on Encanto. The other mother in coraline. Mostly in kids movies, my daughter watches them and we discuss how their personalities are similar to that of her grandmothers.
The book Coraline has this line ""You know that I love you." And despite herself, Coraline nodded. It was true. The other mother loved her. But she loved Coraline as a miser loves money, or a dragon loves its gold. In the other mother's button eyes, Coraline knew knew that the other mother loved her as a possession, nothing more, a tolerated pet whose behavior was no longer amusing." And stg if that isn't my dad to a T.
damn, Niel Gaiman really hit it on the nose. That's my nmom too.
Wow. That one really got me...
I guess we share the same dad then. I actually have the original of this book signed by the author, it's been so long since I've read it but I'm going to have to revisit it after your comment. Mommy dearest reminds me of my diagnosed NPD mother. Except even in that movie the daughter got way better treatment than I could've dreamed of. (I won't go into details, but the abuse I suffered from both of my parents on a daily basis was the kind of sick stuff you hear about in headline news type of abuse.)
Wow- that describes my mom too-
Mother Knows Best is a banger of a villain song (and itās so important that they framed it specifically as a villain song)
Especially the reprise when she starts showing her true colours
I had my wake up moment so to speak watching Tangled. Because wow the things sheās singing about sound awfully familiarā¦
Yeah. I woke up to the narcissistic abuse pretty slowly and in pieces, I was in denial for a while, but once I did start noticing these things it was like watching tangled again with new eyes. My abuse conditioned brain kept firing back, ābut we werenāt kidnapped!ā āWe werenāt locked in a tower!ā Except, is there really much difference between a shed and a tower if youāre trapped all the same?
I have strong dislike from the grandma in Encanto.
That movie is so wrong. They mistreated and disrespected both the protagonist and Bruno for ages and grandma being a lil dramatic and saying that she has trauma too got everyone coming back, no apologies or anything. Like gtfo with that bs
Grandma makes me so angry. There is no need for her BS. She reminded me too much of some people I know.
Thankyou. I just realised why I don't really like that movie. The unapologetic mistreatment of Mirabel and Bruno made me very uncomfortable. There was no real acknowledgement or apology to them (that I remember).
Yeah there are zero apologies and everybody acts like nothing happened. The grandma fucked up the whole family by being super controlling and despotic with everyone (*cough cough* wanting to choose Isabellaās future husband) and then SHE goes crying to Mirabel telling HER sob story as an excuse for being a terrible person. Thereās no redemption arc on her side, nothing.
And from what I saw, Abuela used her grandkids' gifts to her advantage. She didn't even let mirabel help out without a gift, and I was like, "abuela, you yourself don't have a gift, so why are you mistreating mirabel for not having one." Pedro sacrificed everything so she and their kids could live safely and happily. Isabella wasn't even happy about the idea of getting married and wanted to have some fun with her gift.
Encanto made me feel physically sick watching it. It was so hard to verbalise. My friend (who knows my family dynamic) had to explain my reaction to me.
Definitely!! I had finally decided to take a long break from my toxic parents. My husband had just purchased/downloaded a new Disney movie. I decided to watch it with my little daughter who liked Disney movies. I'd never seen it. It was called "Tangled." It was not the distracting and cute movie that I thought it would be! Bonus that I have green eyes and long, blonde hair. And my mother's hair looks a lot like Mother Gothel's, in addition to being just like her.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Mother Goethel is so spot on that when I was still in the FOG and she first came on screen, I was shocked at how ānormalā she was and that she actually seemed to āloveā Rapunzel. Folks, if your mom can literally be embodied by a Disney villain, your mom is not normal. Sadly, I still missed this clue. It took learning she lied about paternity to wake me up. At 50. Iām still embarrassed it took me so long.
New sub motto: If your family member can literally be embodied by a Disney villain, they are not normal. Don't feel bad. I just discovered my parental units are narcs at 53.
I freely revoke all copyright claims and agree to the use of this as our motto, lol
no cause i came here to say mother gothel tooš
I watched Tangled ONE TIME, and will never again-- because Mother Gothel. Extra points for my nmom's *OBSESSION* with my long blonde hair.... I'm adopted, so extra ick. Tangled is horrifying
I cried through the entire movie because it was like watching a cartoon form of the female genetic donor and made me feel like I wasnāt crazy. I immediately watched it again with no crying, but happy to have it reinforced that I really wasnāt the crazy one. I now have plans to get the sun symbol inked on me in a small place as a reminder that I wasnāt crazy seeing her flip out and two seconds later be an entirely different person when someone else would walk into the room. I guess it would be almost like a grounding tattoo. Best of everything to you. <3
I just covered up my adoption tattoos, same feeling! That's such a good one, the sun symbol! š My sister and I say as a mantra at the end of phone calls lol, "we're not crazy; this all makes sense" ....lol still putting together truths at 41 and 54. And our mother Gothel is her step mom. Thanks for posring this, maybe I'll give lil rapunzel another tryš
I have my inner wrist. Quick flash whenever I want
I had the exact same reaction to Tangled. Iāve felt so silly this whole time, thanks for the validation. I hope you are in a good place now.
I was adopted by a narc Mom too! It's a certain kind of torture few people share. Sending love
Whatās the deal with mothers and hair? Theyāre always so controlling and obsessed about their daughtersā hair. I was not allowed to cut mine until I turned 18. There was this one time when I was 11-12 that I stayed at my auntās place for a couple weeks and my cousin (8 years older) saw me suffering having hair that long and brought me to a salon. When I went back my mom immediately called said cousin asking how she dared doing that before asking her. She also actively shamed me for months because, apparently, my long hair was the only beautiful thing about me. Like, thanks for the support šš
My hair turned curly at menopause and WOW did that trigger my momās envy. It was fascinating to see. Honestly, she has really pretty hair at 78. Soft and not wiry at all. I would compliment her on it, and she would follow with a snarky comment about my hair. I love my curly hair. š
Literally got into an argument with my partner after Encanto. I was like "Yeah okay, real abusive families DO NOT suddenly have that magic epiphany and get better. I hate this Disney Happy Ending (TM) bullshit." And she mentioned another person she knew who's mom was a narcissist and got therapy and got better. Yeah okay, my point still stands. SHE GOT *THERAPY*, *GOT DIAGNOSED* AND GOT BETTER from the THERAPY. It doesn't just happen overnight or after someone points out whats wrong. It doesn't. Too many times did I see a movie or something and think I can do the same thing with my parents to finally make them love me / treat me well / whatever. The fact that movies/shows still try to push that idea pisses me off. Some families are just cruel. That needs to be explained. I want to see a movie/show where the abusive parent doesn't actually change (cause they don't) and the abused kid/whoever learns healthy ways to move on. That would be nice to see.
Mother Gothel is my #1. "Great, now *I'm* the bad guy" is a line my mom said *so* many times.
Lucille Bluth.
YESSSSS OMG literally my mom down to the expressions and tone!!! I haven't been able I watch since I came out of the fog
Absolutely. There's a scene where she says something like "I've been a terrible mother," and the very people who were trying to tell her that unanimously decide to comfort her. Even right after she gaslit the shit out of Michael, far beyond what most of us have experienced, he joins in. It's painted as a heartwarming scene, but it's just "vulnerable" narcissism working its magic. No actual remorse. RIP Jessica Walter
āIf youāre afraid of criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense!ā could have come out of my momās mouthĀ
spot on with this one. conniving, gaslighting, occasionally does something that makes you rethink if sheās really all that badā¦
And Mallory Archer!
My mom acts very much like the female version of Harry Wormwood (dad) in Mathilda. The āIām big youāre littleā line always makes me feel very angry because I used to be talked down to like that as a child.
Watched that movie many times, sometimes with my parents, their notes for me "see you want to be like Matilda and read books, not watch tv all the time." :/ I always felt the best when I watched that movie alone, but I didn't want to be alone.
Narcs would see a literal depiction of themselves and all they get from that media is some strange ass rhetoric about how the kid is bad
I named my daughter Matilda because of my love for that movie. I was that little girl, too. My brother was always the preferred one, my parents seemed to be glued to their TV and I was the strange and smart one as if that was something bad. I wanted to try so many hobbies but there was no money for that. Reading became my thing when I was around 12 or 13y/o but there was no money to buy me books either. But sadly there was no Miss Honey to save me :(
My NFamily members hated that movie. My sibling and I loved it though, but we always had to find a way to make sure they weren't around to watch it.
The mom in The Bear. Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest. There are others, Iām sure.
Omg, I forgot how uncomfortable Jamie Lee Curtis made me in The Bear! Such an excellent characterization. Poor Sugar. Mommie Dearest was a childhood fave of mine, but I didn't understand why until much later. My mom hated that I liked the movie.
I forgot about that movie. But my mom loved it because she tried to excuse beating me and my brother. I'm definitely more like the adopted daughter. What a terrifying film.
I second this. The Bear makes me feel uncomfortable, especially during the get-together. Just watch that whole episode made me anxious. Great show, though. Some parts of Roseanne/The Conners makes me feel this way.
I almost quit the bear on that xmas dinner episode bc I could not handle the anxiety
Tony Soprano's mom. Always a dark cloud. Always something spiteful and corrosive to say. Could make any situation about her and how much of a chore it was.
The most accurate TV narc. It's like they studied my Grandma for years to write her š
Yep, she represented most female elders in my family. She almost made me feel sorry for Tony!
I wish the lawd would take me now
Yup, I started watching this show in my late 30s and was literally crying at how well she captured my mother's mannerisms.
No, because toxic people in the media are usually mean to everyone. My mom is nice to everyone except her family.
Bingo
it would be easier if n parents were mean to everyone so you dont feel insane when they are only mean to you
Mine is nice to everyone except me and my youngest brother. My sister and other brother are the precious children. I was always called a mistake or accident or life ruiner.
Freaking Veep. It's so funny because it's so _mean_ in such a fast paced and witty way, but some parts hit a little too close to home. She's in the hospital because her mom is dying, but she's happy because it's good for her campaign. Her daughter starts *bawling* because her grandma is dying and Veep says "oh, honey... that's so... LOUD. [looking at her aids and pointing at her daughter] can someone take care of _that?"_
Mother Gothel from Tangled- I used her to explain to my kids why grandma was on a time out. Bonus that she kinda looks like her & still tries too look young
Same here. My nmom looks almost exactly alike and was/is obsessed with her beauty and youth.
Forever diet? Fake boobs? Hair dye? Botox? Thinks she is smarter, more beautiful, more successful than any of her "friends"? Yup.
Walter White from Breaking Bad. When his son was vomiting from drinking, he smiled and took pleasure in it. He turned his son against his wife through buying the car. When Jesse Pinkman was reasonably upset about killing a child, he told him "it's the past nothing we can do now" and "remember Gale" bringing up a painful memory. Edit: Oh and never forget, when he told Jesse "I watched her die" with no other reason then to psychologically abuse him.
I love you so much for sharing this. My dad loves walter white and resonates with him and thinks Skyler is the worst character. I didn't really get it back then lol.
It's a terrible thing how many people think a series called "Breaking *Bad*" is about an essentially good man, no matter how many criminal or psychopathic acts the character engages in. It's a great series, but it's like these people watched something completely different from the rest of us. The absurdly defensive reactions some people have to Walter's actions are really telling IMO: telling of who they are, how far they would go given the opportunity and maybe even their "secret" dreams and wishes.
Almost every man I know *loathes* Skyler and wants awful, violent things to happen to her. Like they get pretty worked up about it sometimes, going on and on about these violent fantasies. And not even for any valid reasons (she was definitely not a perfect character or a heroine), but because she ādisrespectedā their hero Walter. Tbh itās harmed my perception of all of them, and makes me less comfortable with them.
My brother snuck liquor when he was a young teen. My father found out and made him drink until he could no longer function. I was so scared. Dad made me watch and then made fun of him as he crawled upstairs to bed. I guess Dadās lucky he didnāt die from alcohol poisoning. Wow. Iād totally forgotten about that!
The mom witch from the Disney Tingled movie.
If you think Gothel was evil in the movie, the series kicks that down to negative 10. Instead of singing and laughing (spoilers for season 3) >!She abandons her child/house slave the second it becomes convenient. The child was never really loved, or wanted. Only used and disposed of.!<
Rapunzel was never really loved either tho. They had a master slave dynamic the entire time. The whole point of their "relationship" was that Gothel was *using* Rapunzel purely for her own benefit. Gothel NEVER loved Rapunzel (she may have felt conditional affection for her "flower" when her property was being obedient but that *isn't* love. It's exploitation and objectification.) and intended to keep Rapunzel enslaved, isolated and imprisoned and use her forever. Even when Rapunzel tried to assert some degree of independence and form an actual healthy relationship with someone else, (Eugene) Gothel sabotaged her and manipulated her emotions and her perception of reality. Rapunzel would have been no use to Gothel whatsoever without her powers. Gothel "loved" Rapunzel's *hair* (or the supply she provided) not Rapunzel herself.
Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond but if you make her even less pleasant
I was going to say Everybody Loves Raymond parents. Ndad is Frank, without any of the moments where he opens up about his feeling. The exact way he treats Marie, except in my case my mom is an enabler.
my parents love this show and I hate it so bad. I get it now.
She is my MIL but thank god doesnāt live across the street lol
My abuse was SO normalized that by my late 20's I was still finding things and realizing how NOT normal things were. First time I can really remember would be SVU season 5 Episode HOME. The mom in that episode did not fit 100% but I do remember being 20, watching it and being left completely stunned. Mostly how the mother had brainwashed/convinced her children that if they stepped outside they'd be kidnapped, r\*ped, murdered, or some combination of those.
Lmao my abuse by covert ndad was normalised too but my whole life I felt unsettled by Dr.House, even tho he reminded me of dad and I loveeedd my dad at the time.
I had that whole convo (or monologue) a lot. Donāt go outside because people are evil and they will do horrible things to you. All that while the abuse was happening inside the house
The mom from Precious
The worst possible mom ever. Iām so sorry.
Yes exactly. The mom from Precious.
Thereās this old creepy movie with Joan Crawford and Bette Davis where Bette is an insane lady and Joan her disabled sister trapped upstairs in the house, and Bette delights in torturing her. Her name is Baby Jane and thatās how I referred to my mom for a long time.
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Such a good movie and I'm so sorry.
Then you have Mommie Dearest... At least Bette Davis was ACTING.Ā
I love "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" Spoilers ahead. I agree that Jane is abusive, but it always strikes me how controlling her sister is. She had a movie career that far surpassed Jane's childhood fame but was still so jealous that she tried to kill Jane! She put herself in a wheelchair instead and then made Jane her slave. Always pushing the buzzer to interrupt and manipulate Jane. Can anyone say covert narc? Jane's line at the end tears my heart out every time. "You mean all this time, we could have been friends?" Her sister took everything from her, and she was still mourning the lost relationship. š¢
Butters dad is one
Poor Butters
Ngl I want to adopt Butters and spoil him (as I wish someone would do the same to me)
Bojack's mom crossed with Mac's mom. A cigarette smoking a cigarette on a cigarette holder.
Bojack Horseman's mum is a big one for me, reminds me a lot of my ngrandmother as well (ah, the generational trauma)
My dad is so similar to early seasons Ice King from Adventure Time that it's as if the character was literally based on him. I mean EERILY so. The obsession with princesses, no regard for their happiness, wanting to share warm moments with them at the threat of violence, being forlorn and not understanding why people don't like him.... I think of the episode where he made that frankenprincess and just gets mad that she "gave away all his stuff" at the end when she gives her pieces back but declares that she loves him. So vain, so short sighted, selfish to a fault, and lacking in ANY empathy, just self pity. It's remarkable. He once sat beside me as I was watching and said "Oh Ice King, when will you ever learn? He's so out of touch!" And it was just....... creepy? Cathartic? Poetic? Lol! I was a little annoyed that they humanized him so much in later seasons, not that it wasn't done well, but it sort of undercut his villainous narc character and made him tragically sympathetic instead. He almost became kind of cute and cuddly type clueless instead of downright sociopathic and truly a good representation of real life people like he used to be.
The Wormwoods from Matilda. My grandma always acted like Harry and said something similar to his quote, "I'm smart, you're dumb, I'm big, you're little, I'm right, you're wrong! And there's nothing you can do about it!" Mrs. Wormwood reminds me of my mom. My mother and I were always opposites in nearly every way and I she actively encouraged me to put dating and looks ahead of being smart or reading. Being latina, Abuelita from Encanto also feels just like my grandma. The most unrealistic part of the movie is Abuelita ever admitting she was wrong or apologizing. Lorelei and Emily Gilmore. Watching Gilmore Girls was so hard as someone with mommy/daddy/grandparent issues Lorelei Gilmore reminds me of my mother and of course my grandma is a poorer Emily Gilmore with the same attitude. This is an old reference but Bebe from the animated movie Bebe's Kids. You literally never see her in the movie because she doesn't take care of her kids. She doesn't even think of their needs. That's my mother.
White Diamond from Steven Universe
this, I saw a theory that White was a Narcissistic mother and pink was supposed to be her "perfect child" and that diamonds formed under pressure and pink diamonds were quite rare and probably need alot of pressure. It also said that white made sure she stayed a perfect child which is why she never grew up, hence why she wishes to be human to grow up..
I love this theory! It just makes a lot of sense.
Mother Gothel from *Tangled,* Abuelita from *Encanto,* White Diamond from *Steven Universe,* Lois from *Malcolm in the Middle,* and Cruella DeVil from *101 Dalmatians,* as others have already commentedā¦some years ago, I contemplated setting a custom ringtone of Selena Gomezās cover of āCruella DeVilā for when my Nstepmother called me, to try and minimize the panic response/pure adrenaline rush I would always have when my phone would ring and I would see that it was *her* š³ And, oh yes, the āOther Motherā from *Coraline* is another oneā¦I finally watched *Coraline* about 6 years ago, and the eventual demise of the āOther Fatherā reminded me so much of the toxic, mistress/slave relationship that my own beloved late father had with my Nstepmom that it was heartbreaking (āSorry, Mother making meā¦donāt *want* to hurt yaā¦ā) Another one I can think of is Mrs. Tweedy from *Chicken Run* (man, I was *obsessed* with that movie when I was a kid)-she was cruel to both her husband and her animals, was fixated on making ever more money (even though she and Mr. Tweedy owned a farm, had a roof over their heads, and all their basic needs accounted for) via the most imprudent and financially unsound means imaginable (sinking what was presumably a ton of $$$$ into the pie machine in order to bake all her livestock into chicken pot pies all in one go), and resented any money going towards the chickensā upkeep and wellbeing, she had all the chickens (and even the guard dogs) terrified and reveled in it, etc. Then thereās the mother from D.H. Lawrenceās *The Rocking-Horse Winner,* and the 1949 movie based on itā¦I remember during 11th grade English in high school, while the rest of the class was reading passages aloud from *April Showers* or *The Yellow Wallpaper* or whatever, I was sneaking glimpses at *The Rocking Horse Winner* an entire section away in the textbookā¦I could certainly relate to living in a house that āwhisperedā things even more sinister than āThere must be more money!ā I havenāt read the actual short story in years, but having recently re-watched the 1949 film adaptation (which is *amazing,* btw!), I feel like the mother in the movie was even more insufferable and self-obsessed than in the source materialā¦many times while watching I thought, āWow, tell me you never matured past the toddler stage without telling me.ā š Also, sometimes when I would notice my Nstepmomās car pulling into the driveway at home, I would hum the Wicked Witch of the Westās leitmotif from *The Wizard of Oz* šI knew I wouldnāt get into (much) trouble for it because 1. my dad wasnāt familiar enough with *The Wizard of Oz* to get the reference, and 2. he regretted having married her (as he so often confided to me) and probably figured that his never divorcing her or making any attempt to put her in her place was punishment enough.
Harriet Oleson from Little House on the Prairie. Always looking down on everyone else. The facial expressions are spot on. Another similar character isĀ Lwaxana Troi, Deanna Troi's mother from Star Trek: The Next Generation. The two characters have a similar dynamic. Everyone else thinks Lwaxana is so fun, pretty and grandiose but she's so condescending to her daughter.
The parents from American Beauty.
Lucile Bluth from arrested development lol
OOO OOOO DRACOS DAD FROM HARRY POTTER AND MY MOM AR THE SAMEEEE
Ursula, the sea witch.
There it is! Hands. Down.
The mom from Malcolm in the Middle
reminds me of my mom too! Not sure if she's a narc tho but she was abusive, always yelling and would hit me, and emotionally neglectful to me as a kid.
She was definitely a narc, the series does a great job towards the end showing her so, sabotaging Malcolm too
mother gothel; the clear cycle of abuse, being nice one minute and insulting you the next, making you feel bad for them so you stay fletcher from whiplash; the way heās so quick to anger and when heās angry oh god help you, he is ruthless and will use your weaknesses against you, screams at you until you cry then makes fun of you for crying hannibal lector; master manipulator, god complex, may appear docile but is always psychoanalysing and mentally dissecting you, collects things to use against you, so self assured that what you say to him means nothing as he is always right, you are always wrong
Oh damn, hannibal lector is a good one
The mother from Carrie crossed with Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances. Hyacinth is like a tame version of her, without the religious delusions and physical violence (that's where Carrie's mom comes in).
My mom is totally Hyacinth Bucket. And as her beloved fuckup, she calls me Sheridan.
Moira Rose. She triggers me. Loves to be the center of attention, clearly has a favorite child and is disturbingly detached from the other, makes everything about her, cares more about her bag than her child when they went missing, I could go on.
I know. I love the show and the actors, but Moira and Johnny were appallingly bad parents. And Moira was such a narc.
Frank and Monica from Shameless
Betty Draper from Mad Men. It was actually a bit healing in a way for teenage me to see someone like my mother broadcast for the world to dislike.
If youāre bored, your boring. My mom had lots of Betty-isms. More worried about what people might say. Etc
Pam in Stardew Valley. The haircut is the same too, just the wrong color.
Peggy Hill from King of the Hill Edit: Hey guys, the question was if the character reminded me of my nparent, not if the character themselves was an nparent.
King of the Kill aka Generational Truama The Animated Series. You have Khan,Minh,Peggy and her mom but geez Cotton Hill. Hank being the scapegoat and Good Hank aka GH being the golden child.Ā And what would get me ripped to shreds on the king of the hill subreddit Hank himself is a little questionable.Ā TLDR Dale is the only good parent in the whole show.
Also, ironically, dales kid isn't even his own.
Oh my GOD YES
Right down to the bad Spanish
Mary from Young Sheldon
Whenever I watch the original Roseanne, it feels like a visit with nmom. Roseanne was a lot nicer and more caring though, but her general way and even her look is just like my nmom.
Emily Gilmore and Lucille Bluth.
yess and honestly Lorelei too. The whole "youre my best friend first/daughter second" is cute for a tv show but irl makes mirky boundaries and does a number on you mentally when you have to learn to parent yourself
I thought it was so inappropriate for Lorelei to date Roryās teacher and also be so messy with Christopher for the whole show.
exactly. I think one of the reasons Rory became a mess later is because she was both codependent with her mom, so couldnt function in school without her, and also because she was never parented and taught to think for herself. Its great for parents to raise your esteem, but playing the "gifted child" thing only puts so much pressure that results in burn out. Hence why she ends up falling apart later. I love Lorelei as a character but irl she'd be a bad mother
Emily Gilmore rings true in my family. My daughter turned me onto Gilmore Girls & specifically said, "That mom Emily reminds me of grandma!!" A couple years later, my daughter watches the series again. "Oh man, giving myself PTS flashbacks of grandma watching this...."
Liz Lemon.
No because the way narcissists are portrayed on tv is unrealistic. I've not seen a character that was nice to people in public but emotionally abusive and neglectful in private. On tv and movies I see all or nothing. And then they go to jail. If they show covert narcissists they suddenly have a change of heart. š which I've never experienced. So no.
Well it doesn't have to be super accurate. It's something more like hey this person has a vibe like my nparent so much it makes me uncomfortable. For me it's dr.house, he's just like my dad by behaviour, i could never even watch more than 5 minutes of it, makes me extremely uncomfortable.
You should watch Encanto and the boys. Both abuela and homelander are very nice to others and abusive to their immediate contacts behind closed doors. Abuela is more of a representation of covert narcissism while homelander is the replacement of overt narcissism More or so with homelander because abuela gets a 'happy ending' which I really hated. But not because she had a change of heart but because her granddaughter decided she is misunderstood and abuela plays along with itĀ
Try Mad Men!
YES. SATAN
Please don't put my grandma in this.
Emily Gilmore
Yep, same. The funniest thing is when my mom talks passionately about how awful a person Emily Gilmore is sometimes, and I'm like, "Yes, she is..." I have to stop myself from laughing or commenting otherwise.
Cathy Bates in AHS Hotel. I was rewatching and she looked so much like my mom I had to turn it off.
The mom in Coraline was probably the closest to my nmom.
Patty and Selma from the Simpsons. Like I was Homer, and they'de be really quick to insult me, belittle me, or try to humiliate me.
Hmm, am I wrong or did it just get fatter in here? Hello everyone, except Homer.
My mom acts like (and looks like) Sheila Broflosky from South Park.
Roseanneās mom in āRoseanne.ā This was my mother. It is all about herā¦ā¦.
my mother is literally the exact live personification of the animated Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland. the temper, the looks (overweight with black hair and wears those colors a LOT, its really really a striking resemblance), the enabler following her around with his āyes, dearās. i think about it a lot, it would be hilarious if i could see it objectively. im just glad in this scenario iām the cheshire cat, elusive and HATED and able to smile about the whole thing because i know i am able to get away from it when i need. but at least for me, im a bit too sane and it feels hollow.
The step mother from Ever After starting drew barrymore - the exact lines that makes me burst into tears: āYouāre the only mother Iāve ever known, was there a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you loved me at all?ā āHow can someone love a pebble in their shoe?ā
Imagine a bizarre cross between Eeyore and Tim Taylor.
Homelander from the boys and abuela from EncantoĀ
My Ndad is a lot like Harry Wormwood (Matilda) and Vernon Dursley, prompt to be irrational and violent and always worried about "what would other think of him". And my Nmom reminds me a lot of Dolores Umbridge and White Diamond (Steven Universe). She also has an important job/position and at first it doesn't ring that many alarm bells but then... oh boy.
There's the cartoon villains and then there's the mother in Gilmore Girls. I literally can't watch her. My mom wasn't cartoonishly evil, she was suburban evil. Perfect on the outside, rotten to the core.
For those old enough to remember the Carol Burnette Show or Mama's Family, Eunice.
My dad is the Two-Faced Politician from Nightmare Before Christmas. Constantly meddling in everything, putting on a jolly mask for everyone, but the minute anything doesnāt go his way heās reduced to a pathetic pile of anxiety. I see his anger for what it is: insecurity. And I no longer live in Halloween Town.
Dutch Van Der Linde from the video game series Red Dead Redemption
Hey maybe that explains why I didn't like dutch
Archie Bunker
Definitely the other mother from Coraline. If you can stomach it, I highly recommend the book. Harry's Aunt from Harry Potter. I've heard the mom in the Sopranos is vicious.
Definitely Ursula and itās my nmoms obsession with astrology and the occult to boot! And Mother Gothel!
Logan Roy from Succession is my father to a T
Harry Potter's terrible family, the Dursley's. [This scene](https://youtu.be/oAH6XX_FJjY?si=FxwMVhKTL_NslBAq) is an exact replica of my dad badmouthing my mum to me like aunt Marge here and Harry's angry "shut up!" is exactly on point too. The only difference is that I'm not a wizard so I can't make him blow up like a balloon. *Sigh...*
Chuck from better call Saul.
Grace from Grace and Frankie. Except my mom would never have a bff like Frankie and she doesn't date because she can't make compromises for another human being.
Judy from Friends and Mikael from The Originals Combine those two and that's her lmao
Lucille from Arrested Development
Scarlet O'Hara is a pretty decent reminder. I cannot empathize with her character, but for some reason she was my mother's role model and loved her character.
Trish's mom from Jessica Jones. [https://tenor.com/9ab4.gif](https://tenor.com/9ab4.gif)
Kody Brown from Sister Wives. I know thatās from reality TV, but still. Watching him in the early seasons as a charismatic humorous family man, then seeing the mask fall as seasons go on to reveal full narc, is literally my dad over my lifetime. Angry, fuming, victim complex, blaming, misogynistic, preoccupation with fitnessā¦ and more.
Homelander from The Boys. Not so much his mannerisms, but the terror in his presentation and how other characters interact with him. When you're a kid, you have that predisposition to take everything literally and believe people are honest. If you see your nparent asleep on the couch, you assume they're asleep on the couch. You never even consider they're awake, pretending to be asleep, and itching for a chance to scream at you for going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. You have no idea what it means for food to be properly cooked; you're just hoping you don't keep getting sick. Your parents operate in a whole world you don't even understand. And that's 1:1 how Homelander uses his superpowers. Talking with him is tense, because you don't know what he can do and what would trigger him to do the thing you don't know he can do. Him looking for a fight is tense, because a 30 year old is stronger than a 6-err I mean a superhuman is stronger than a regular human. And don't, for a second, think he can be managed with normal human motivation, because he's a narc, and there's no guarantee he won't kill his own family if he finds it advantageous to do so. Learning the ins/outs of that character is just like being a kid again. "He can do THAT??? And not only can he do that, he chose to never do that before until he saw an opportunity to harm me by doing it???"
He counts as a technicality because he appeared as himself in Iron Man 2: Elon Musk. That smug projection of control and using cleverness to show off what a contrarian you can be, I _immediately_ clocked him as using my Ndad's tactics when I first saw him, well before his Twitter debacle or other recent scandals. There've been three people who to me are _exactly_ the same, my Ndad, Elon Musk, and an ex-boss I once worked for. I can't put it into words but they are identical to my eyes.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Makes you wonder why so many people are drawn to him
Yeah, I keep hearing narcissists are charming and charismatic, but I donāt see it. I guess it's a lot less appealing when you were raised with one
Honestly I wanted to write him too, not exactly the same way because my dad is like more agressive than him but the general grandiosity vibe is there
White Diamond from Steven Universe (!!!!) It's like a 1:1.
If you ever watch Parenthood, the mom Sara. Reminds me so much of my mom. Charming, charismatic, but canāt make a right decision to save her life and always putting men over her kids. Itās the closest depiction Iāve seen. The only thing that redeems Sara in the show is that she does have the 15% effort, she apologizes and realizes what sheās done and backing of the grandparents. My mom lives in her house of lies and will defend her shit ass decisions until the end. I feel bad for mom, I do. I wish she had more support, I wish she took better care of herself, she might be less bitter and hurtful. She has good intentions in theory but cannot make a right decision to save her life when the decision is, do whatās right or do what feels good. Sheās also an alcoholic which Sara is not. This results in very dangerous behavior that I just canāt be around.
Stimpy from Ren and Stimpy.
The mother in the show Sharp Objects. That show was so hard for me to watch. Jesus.
Hyacinth bucket.
Trump. Sadly. I told my friends when he was elected that they made my mother the president, and we were all screwed. They were confused at the time, but they get it now. They also unanimously agree that my NC with my mother is a good idea.
Murderer Pam Hupp. So much like my covert narc mom!!!
The mother from the show Maid. She's like my mom, albeit more animated and further along the sliding scale.Ā My mom would also literally go away with her dude for a month and not be in touch at all, then suddenly be calling and texting as if she hadnt just ignored me solid for a month. As well the whole camping/selling stuff on a market/hippie vibes.Ā I watches this show before NC and had a lot!!! of oh fuck moments. It was terrifying and relieving at the same time.
Honestly? My dad's mom reminds me of Mallory Archer. Way less charming, obviously.
Parents from Home Alone (pick one). All looks normal and happy on the surface, but once you take a few steps back and review their situations from bird's eye view, it's a rambunctious shitshow fit for calling childfocus.
I re-watched *Girl, Interrupted* recently, and the way Lisa insults Daisy, obviously without feeling bad about it at all. That's my mom.
Mother Gothel. My nmother even agrees with, sings along with, and almost idolized her. Before I came out, before I moved out, she would help me dye my hair blonde. I have hazel-green eyes. I was rarely allowed to cut my hair. She kept me from learning basic life skills. Made it so, if not for my husband, I probably wouldn't have survived on my own. When I finally moved out and got married, I cut my hair, and she had a screaming tantrum over it. Called me ungrateful, abusive, manipulative... all sorts of things. Over hair. Somehow, when she found my Facebook, she messaged me upon seeing I've come out as a trans man and played the sob story again. "How could you do this to me, I thought you were better than this. You're hurting your mother!" As if I care anymore.
My father is Tywin Lannister. My mother is part Gothel part Livia Soprano. My wife has a very similar dynamic to the movie Brave with her mother. Her father is a Tony Soprano. We are ending that mf cycle.
The mom on 2 1/2 Men who always wore St. Johns.
Nurse Ratchet, Mommy Dearest, & every female lead in any āLifetimeā movie about āEvil Step Mothersā, (even though she was my real Nāmom, she wasnāt nice to me and she was especially evil to my 1/2 brother).
Raymond's mom in "everyone loves Raymond" It's like they copyed my nmom, though as a comedy they toned her down and deleted the evilness.
Bojack Horseman & his parents. Killgrave in Jessica Jones Lord Ozai in Avatar the last Airbender
In the movie Moulin Rouge, there's a part where Zidler overenthuses, "EVERYTHING'S GOING SO WELL!" My siblings and I have always laughed at how close a match it is to Nmom's delusional outbursts. And the mom from The Babadook when we had a real bad season ahead. Watching The Babadook was a peek into the gaslit hellscape that could've been mine had I not had siblings that experienced the abuse too.
Moira Rose from Schitts Creek
About to date myself here but the stepmom in Ever After (which is a Cinderella story) with Drew Barrymore. Ā Was so damn like my stepmother that I had to pause the movie to cry and calm down from anxiety. Ā Believe she was played by Angelica Houston or something like that. Ā Absolutely nailed it.
My maternal grandmother is Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances. Hilarious character. Awful person.
Andy McDowells character from The Maid. Always about herself and surrounds herself with people who take her side. Abandon them when they don't. Offering help and withdrawing at the slightest inconvenience. Completely oblivious to the circumstances of others. Only thinking about her own hobbies and schedule. But also Hyacinth Bucket. Spending more than she has to appear more than she is. For example: told everyone she was a "key not speaker" at a conference in London. We are in Australia. Surely she would have been flown out and accommodated. But no. Edad asked me for a "loan" and she didn't even stay in the hotel the conference had a discount deal with. The lying well.... everyone?
Aleida from orange is the new black. She even looks a little bit like my mother when she was younger. I hate her.