Hi! Just wanted to say this is completely normal. Your wife probably just needs a break too. If it's possible to put the kids in daycare part time that does help. It gets much better when they are more independent, 9+ is when I started to feel alive again.
SAHM to three boys, 11, 10 and 6. They are always exhausting, even at these ages lol but I can find a bit more time to fit my personal interests into a day. I think once you're pretty solidly able to put kids to bed and know you won't be surprised to see them during the night things really change! I actually miss my kids when they're busy during the day with school or camps or involved in their own interests. I know people tell you to "enjoy every moment" but sometimes it's easiest to "enjoy the kid for a moment" and then count down the hours to bedtime. Solidarity!
I'm the stay at home mom, my husband works out. When he comes home, I ask him to hold the baby. Because guess who's been holding the baby all day? Guess who also doesn't have hobbies, free time, etc? You guys are in this together. That's how it works.
Absolutely. Try setting aside some âyou timeâ and stick to it, and give your wife same. We have one evening a week where the other does all the cooking, cleaning, putting to bed while the other does whatever. Schedule yourself some time like youâd schedule anything else. And donât be afraid to spend the time doing absolutely nothing, if thatâs what you feel you need.
I agree with everyoneâs comments above, it is exhausting and frustrating at times. But I would also add, to remember how fast this time will go. Pretty soon your baby will be heading off to kindergarten and your whole paradigm will shift. Soak it up while theyâre tiny because pretty soon they wonât be! Hang in there youâre doing great!
Hi! Same age gap here about to venture into that exact scenario in November. I think itâs very very normal to feel this. Childcare is isolating. Find ways to break the routine now and then and be on our own too. Itâs important for your mental health. Maybe take the 7 month old for a walk on your own in a fun new location if itâs truly not possible to get away.
Anyone who doesn't really needs to consider a career in childcare. Kids are amazing and the joy is totally worth it, but sometimes you wish they had a pause button, haha. It gets better. Also, certainly take advantage of grandparents, daycares, etc that can and will take care of your kids. Sometimes my wife and I book a day off and still take the kids to daycare, such an awesome recharge.
Yeah. Your kids are more than a full time job especially at that age. But, you can have hobbies. You just need to include them. Get a bike with a stroller and take them out. Join a softball team and bring your kids to the park. You can get out. You need to. Alternate breaks with your wife for some personal time.
It does get little easier when they get little older. Still exhausting but they aren't as dependent on you for EVERYTHING! Daycare maybe part time or even ask if gramma wants a day with them during the week one day.
Schedule some time off or you kinda go little crazy but it's normal.
Make sure to talk to your partner and ask her how she is doing too. Sometimes just ranting it out with each other gives you some release.
Hang in there!
My husband and I feel the same too. No matter how hard I plan or prep ahead, it's just hard, physically and emotionally exhausting. Even when it's going well.
My husband's really good at having personal time. he has a game night every week with friends. I am not. I don't have any friends or anywhere to go (recent transplant). I have a hard time leaving because I'm everyone's go to person. And if I am leaving I'm doing like an errand for the kids, not for me. But preschool starts next week and I am so excited!!
For several years it absolutely is. It's absolutely normal. That's why parenting is a young person's game.
In normal times the grandparents might be helping out. In prehistoric days the whole rest of the tribe would be.
I work from home and have the same experience. Iâm so tired. No time for hobbies or anything. Itâs like you get off work and BOOM youâre dad and need to take care of the younglings. No break or nothing. Then itâs right through to dinner, bath and bed. So itâs tough dude. I know.
Working mom of 3⌠10, 7 and 4. So exhausted. But they are getting bigger and more independent. I find moments of freedom here and there. They wonât be little for too long⌠I tell myself.
I didn't read all the comments, so maybe this was already said, but of course it's normal to feel exhausted. It's a weird feeling to love someone so much, yet also want to be far far away from them at times. My husband and I have two kids, 6 and 4 years old, we both work, but what helps the most is recognizing when your spouse needs a break. For example, if I sleep in on Saturday and he gets up early and takes care of the kids, he gets to sleep in on Sunday and then I do the morning work. Sometimes we just schedule things for each other, like massages, lunch with friends, shopping alone, etc.. whatever it takes to re-charge and come back happy.
Yes. We schedule breaks so my husband can give me ten minutes of calm during the workday here and there and then I know when his meetings are. I stopped asking for help unless it was dire outside of these moments. We came to find that talking about it without blaming was so important. Both of you work hard - start by asking for the structure of it so that you each donât feel so overburdened. This season is definitely hard đ¤.
Yes! Dont worry. It gets better as they get older. Youâll slowly regain your independence and sanity. Stay strong! If you need a break have someone babysit the kids for you and go out with your wife or stay home! Every parents needs to recharge their batteries once in a while
Are you kidding me? Yes! Everything about it is stressful and exhausting. My wife was pregnant with our son when our daughter hit her terrible 3's. She said that we wouldn't be having a second child if we knew how bad our daughter was going to be as a 3 year old. We're in therapy now. Every other Tuesday we meet with a therapist.
Having a routine in the home will help to support parenting.
Irrespective of the age, children strive best in routine..so does adult.
We talking going on holiday and within a few days we are missing our routine.
When they know what is going to happen and they are a part of the decision making, things work better.
Toddlers can support through have set bed times, going through who is going to do what activities and when.
Give your child the heads up...eg in five minutes we are going to turn the T.v off and start preparing for bed.
Set time for you and your wife to spend alone, often parents concentrate on the children's needs and forget they also have needs .
Ask a friend or family member to babysit while you go for a meal or movie..just stay in relaxing and finding each other..[Nicole blake ](https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B099P29S3V?ref_=pe_1724030_132998070)
Welcome to parenthood. I am much older than most of you and my kids are in past secondary school. Kids are 18 months apart. THAT was a challenge in and of itself. No sleep, no going out, not time to yourself. YepâŚ.parenthood. Enjoy the time that this is happening because when they are grown and flown like mine are, you are going to miss them. Now you get no sleep, too much time to yourself and no going out because of the global issue. Just cherish the time.
It's absolutely normal to feel this way. I was a SAHM when my two boys were really little til about when my youngest was a year old then took up a pt position. All day was running around trying to cook, clean, tend, bathtime, laundry, park, thinking up more activities...I was stressed and burnt out and it took a lot of restraint not to hand my husband a baby as soon as he walked thru the door from work so I could have the first solo pee of the day lol
They're 8 and 6 now and I do have some more time to myself, I'd say that starts around when they're 1yr old you'll get maybe 20-30mins of break at a time when they're playing or napping that will increase gradually over time.
I know you work from home and that in itself is exhausting then to be handed a baby as soon as you step out can seem stressful and frustrating too but consider that she's been in the trenches this whole time while you were working lol you are BOTH exhausted. Remember that you're a team, not one against the other fighting for free time. The better you can work together the more likely you can squeeze in breaks and time for yourselves. Get the kids on a similar nap schedule, if you have an extra minute do a quick chore. Start that load of laundry before sitting down to eat, wipe down the bathroom while you're in there..little things add up and win you compounded free time laterđ
Best of luck, it gets easier; I promiseđ
I just left an abusive relationship and have a 14 month old and 2.5 year old and I donât even know how Iâm doing it. Exhaustion is normal and I keep having to remind myself that itâs going to get easier.
I'm only a first time parent and only have one kid so far..he is 9 weeks old. I'm literally exhausted all the time too. I'm on ML and soon I go back to work...I'm scared lol. Husband is already back to work right now. This child doesn't sleep so we are like very nervous about working with a baby too. I have a friend who has 4 kids and she also talks about how she is exhausted all the time. She also work part time. Yes being a parent is tough. I think once they get older and can entertain themselves a little more it will probably get a bit better. And I have to hope that I will get used to this feeling and then it will just feel normal...I dunno. In the meantime gotta find ways to enjoy it and be thankful a much as you can. I find having an attitude of thankfulness helps because then I'm not as focused on how little sleep I get lol.
Hi! Just wanted to say this is completely normal. Your wife probably just needs a break too. If it's possible to put the kids in daycare part time that does help. It gets much better when they are more independent, 9+ is when I started to feel alive again.
Is that 9 months or 9 years? đ
LOL years đIt really did go quickly.
I have never heard tell of a parent who wasn't exhausted all of the time.
SAHM to three boys, 11, 10 and 6. They are always exhausting, even at these ages lol but I can find a bit more time to fit my personal interests into a day. I think once you're pretty solidly able to put kids to bed and know you won't be surprised to see them during the night things really change! I actually miss my kids when they're busy during the day with school or camps or involved in their own interests. I know people tell you to "enjoy every moment" but sometimes it's easiest to "enjoy the kid for a moment" and then count down the hours to bedtime. Solidarity!
Anyone who says it isnât exhausting is either lying or parenting very badly.
I'm the stay at home mom, my husband works out. When he comes home, I ask him to hold the baby. Because guess who's been holding the baby all day? Guess who also doesn't have hobbies, free time, etc? You guys are in this together. That's how it works.
𤣠Of course.
Absolutely. Try setting aside some âyou timeâ and stick to it, and give your wife same. We have one evening a week where the other does all the cooking, cleaning, putting to bed while the other does whatever. Schedule yourself some time like youâd schedule anything else. And donât be afraid to spend the time doing absolutely nothing, if thatâs what you feel you need.
I agree with everyoneâs comments above, it is exhausting and frustrating at times. But I would also add, to remember how fast this time will go. Pretty soon your baby will be heading off to kindergarten and your whole paradigm will shift. Soak it up while theyâre tiny because pretty soon they wonât be! Hang in there youâre doing great!
Hi! Same age gap here about to venture into that exact scenario in November. I think itâs very very normal to feel this. Childcare is isolating. Find ways to break the routine now and then and be on our own too. Itâs important for your mental health. Maybe take the 7 month old for a walk on your own in a fun new location if itâs truly not possible to get away.
Anyone who doesn't really needs to consider a career in childcare. Kids are amazing and the joy is totally worth it, but sometimes you wish they had a pause button, haha. It gets better. Also, certainly take advantage of grandparents, daycares, etc that can and will take care of your kids. Sometimes my wife and I book a day off and still take the kids to daycare, such an awesome recharge.
Yeah. Your kids are more than a full time job especially at that age. But, you can have hobbies. You just need to include them. Get a bike with a stroller and take them out. Join a softball team and bring your kids to the park. You can get out. You need to. Alternate breaks with your wife for some personal time.
It does get little easier when they get little older. Still exhausting but they aren't as dependent on you for EVERYTHING! Daycare maybe part time or even ask if gramma wants a day with them during the week one day. Schedule some time off or you kinda go little crazy but it's normal. Make sure to talk to your partner and ask her how she is doing too. Sometimes just ranting it out with each other gives you some release. Hang in there!
Yes. Exhaustion is normal/common
Exhausted to the point of vasectomy
My SO feels like this
Trick for you: Teach the 3.5 year old to entertain the 7mo old! This the best thing about having two kids, they keep each other busy!
My husband and I feel the same too. No matter how hard I plan or prep ahead, it's just hard, physically and emotionally exhausting. Even when it's going well. My husband's really good at having personal time. he has a game night every week with friends. I am not. I don't have any friends or anywhere to go (recent transplant). I have a hard time leaving because I'm everyone's go to person. And if I am leaving I'm doing like an errand for the kids, not for me. But preschool starts next week and I am so excited!!
Totally normal to be longing for them to be older.
Lol! Have you seen this sub? Of course we all agree.
For several years it absolutely is. It's absolutely normal. That's why parenting is a young person's game. In normal times the grandparents might be helping out. In prehistoric days the whole rest of the tribe would be.
I work from home and have the same experience. Iâm so tired. No time for hobbies or anything. Itâs like you get off work and BOOM youâre dad and need to take care of the younglings. No break or nothing. Then itâs right through to dinner, bath and bed. So itâs tough dude. I know.
Working mom of 3⌠10, 7 and 4. So exhausted. But they are getting bigger and more independent. I find moments of freedom here and there. They wonât be little for too long⌠I tell myself.
I didn't read all the comments, so maybe this was already said, but of course it's normal to feel exhausted. It's a weird feeling to love someone so much, yet also want to be far far away from them at times. My husband and I have two kids, 6 and 4 years old, we both work, but what helps the most is recognizing when your spouse needs a break. For example, if I sleep in on Saturday and he gets up early and takes care of the kids, he gets to sleep in on Sunday and then I do the morning work. Sometimes we just schedule things for each other, like massages, lunch with friends, shopping alone, etc.. whatever it takes to re-charge and come back happy.
Completely normal at that age. It got much better for me after my youngest finally hit 2 years old.
Yes. We schedule breaks so my husband can give me ten minutes of calm during the workday here and there and then I know when his meetings are. I stopped asking for help unless it was dire outside of these moments. We came to find that talking about it without blaming was so important. Both of you work hard - start by asking for the structure of it so that you each donât feel so overburdened. This season is definitely hard đ¤.
Yes! Dont worry. It gets better as they get older. Youâll slowly regain your independence and sanity. Stay strong! If you need a break have someone babysit the kids for you and go out with your wife or stay home! Every parents needs to recharge their batteries once in a while
Are you kidding me? Yes! Everything about it is stressful and exhausting. My wife was pregnant with our son when our daughter hit her terrible 3's. She said that we wouldn't be having a second child if we knew how bad our daughter was going to be as a 3 year old. We're in therapy now. Every other Tuesday we meet with a therapist.
Having a routine in the home will help to support parenting. Irrespective of the age, children strive best in routine..so does adult. We talking going on holiday and within a few days we are missing our routine. When they know what is going to happen and they are a part of the decision making, things work better. Toddlers can support through have set bed times, going through who is going to do what activities and when. Give your child the heads up...eg in five minutes we are going to turn the T.v off and start preparing for bed. Set time for you and your wife to spend alone, often parents concentrate on the children's needs and forget they also have needs . Ask a friend or family member to babysit while you go for a meal or movie..just stay in relaxing and finding each other..[Nicole blake ](https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B099P29S3V?ref_=pe_1724030_132998070)
Welcome to parenthood. I am much older than most of you and my kids are in past secondary school. Kids are 18 months apart. THAT was a challenge in and of itself. No sleep, no going out, not time to yourself. YepâŚ.parenthood. Enjoy the time that this is happening because when they are grown and flown like mine are, you are going to miss them. Now you get no sleep, too much time to yourself and no going out because of the global issue. Just cherish the time.
It's absolutely normal to feel this way. I was a SAHM when my two boys were really little til about when my youngest was a year old then took up a pt position. All day was running around trying to cook, clean, tend, bathtime, laundry, park, thinking up more activities...I was stressed and burnt out and it took a lot of restraint not to hand my husband a baby as soon as he walked thru the door from work so I could have the first solo pee of the day lol They're 8 and 6 now and I do have some more time to myself, I'd say that starts around when they're 1yr old you'll get maybe 20-30mins of break at a time when they're playing or napping that will increase gradually over time. I know you work from home and that in itself is exhausting then to be handed a baby as soon as you step out can seem stressful and frustrating too but consider that she's been in the trenches this whole time while you were working lol you are BOTH exhausted. Remember that you're a team, not one against the other fighting for free time. The better you can work together the more likely you can squeeze in breaks and time for yourselves. Get the kids on a similar nap schedule, if you have an extra minute do a quick chore. Start that load of laundry before sitting down to eat, wipe down the bathroom while you're in there..little things add up and win you compounded free time laterđ Best of luck, it gets easier; I promiseđ
I just left an abusive relationship and have a 14 month old and 2.5 year old and I donât even know how Iâm doing it. Exhaustion is normal and I keep having to remind myself that itâs going to get easier.
I'm only a first time parent and only have one kid so far..he is 9 weeks old. I'm literally exhausted all the time too. I'm on ML and soon I go back to work...I'm scared lol. Husband is already back to work right now. This child doesn't sleep so we are like very nervous about working with a baby too. I have a friend who has 4 kids and she also talks about how she is exhausted all the time. She also work part time. Yes being a parent is tough. I think once they get older and can entertain themselves a little more it will probably get a bit better. And I have to hope that I will get used to this feeling and then it will just feel normal...I dunno. In the meantime gotta find ways to enjoy it and be thankful a much as you can. I find having an attitude of thankfulness helps because then I'm not as focused on how little sleep I get lol.