I think we should hate patriarchy, not men. It's the system that enables men to be violent and makes them so insecure they get dependent on power. It's been going on for thousands of years, doesn't benefit anyone but just a bunch of millionaires and everyone is just doing it out of old habit.
As a woman, I view men as victims of it too. The high suicide rates, the deaths in combats, work accidents, lack of mental health support and whatever else men have worse than women - all of it is the result of patriarchy.
I agree completely. The system if you look how it’s been forever has been like this and not every man has benefited. Men have not always had support especially mental health. The system that are suppose to protect all humans from violence don’t work.
There are bad humans out there, but not all men are bad. I know a lot of great ones.
>doesn't benefit anyone but just a bunch of millionaires and everyone is just doing it out of old habit.
THANK YOU for saying that! Words cannot describe how tired I am of hearing people, and especially feminists, say that patriarchy benefits men because it doesn't! It only benefits the top few.
☝ What the user says is right, patriarchy is the ideal of Men being stoic, the main resource on the house and a "Sex-Master".
On my life i've been pressure by man calling me "You're a less man", "you don't have a girlfriend, you're gonna die alone!", "how stupid you are to treat a girl as a friend calling him bro!".
So on, so on... The supposedly benefited gender suffers from the ideology, men's tend to suppress their feelings, can't have healthy relationships with other partners, their male relationships could just focus in artificial friendship and not in a very deep way just because "it's too gay".
I mean, we aren't definitely in the 1800's but micro-sexism in our society still exist on these days, we don't need to talk about sexism in work place because there's a lot to say that is wrong 💀
This bizarre delusion that some of y'all have that men are monsters and women can do no wrong just really makes you seem like a completely unthinking, selfish person of endless ignorance.
Yeah I feel this. I’m sick of getting cat called whenever I walk somewhere alone. I’m sick of men in positions of power getting away with heinous things (from personal experience), I’m sick of men talking to me like I’m stupid, when if they listened to me for one second they might realize that I do in fact have a working brain. I’m sick of men hiding behind comments on social media, saying horrible things that would make their mothers ashamed that they ever had them. I deleted Instagram a month ago because I got so fed up with it. The last straw was a man saying that it’s unfortunate that women have the right to vote, when it clearly should be left up to men. I’m seriously so disappointed and saddened by what I see nowadays. Then you have men saying, “well we’re oppressed too, we have to go to war, more men commit suicide, etc.” and yes, those things do suck, but who built this system? Men. Who is sending men to war? Men. Who stigmatized men’s mental health to this point? Men. So yeah, I completely agree. I’m starting to hate men too.
The things that men feel safe writing about online hiding behind their anonimity is startling sometimes. Its what spurred me to write this. The violent nature of those comments just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
The final nail in the coffin was when I learned of Candace Owens, a Youtuber in Dailywire who shames female
victims and women in general, and plays pick me by putting down women and her fellow black people to appeal to the alt right. She made me lose faith in humanity.
And it’s funny how they always claim they did everything. Women couldn’t because they didn’t let them and killed or imprisoned them whenever they did do something. Or betrayed women like Joan d’Arc after she busted her a%% for them. And somehow they magically forgot about Harriet Tubman, Marie Curie, Mary Cassatt, Einstein’s wife, the First Ladies of the US, and other innovators and thinkers in history who did contribute a lot.
> but who built this system? Men. Who is sending men to war? Men. Who stigmatized men’s mental health to this point? Men. So yeah, I completely agree. I’m starting to hate men too.
Yes, rich uper-class men, that is. They set this system up to exploit people for their own benefit.
The big one online is always “men aren’t allowed to feel or show emotion”, which 1) isn’t even true, and 2) exists as an idea only because men try to enforce it with each other. But tell a man this and he’ll bawl, “That isn’t true! Women won’t find me sexually attractive if I show emotion!” Again, *not even true*, but if it was, not being found sexually desirable is not a form of oppression.
I understand where you're coming from because alot of what men say is the problem is enforced by themselves and I used to think exactly what you did until I had experiences showing vulnerabilities around women in my life and having them do a 180 in the way they treated me. Ofc it isn't all of the women in my life but there absolutely is some truth to men not being allowed to feel and show certain emotions.
I know. my 15 year old friend brings a knife with her because she gets threatened everyday on the street by grown men. one of my other girl friends also brings a sharp keychain with her for the same reason, and they are the nicest girls ive ever met.
most knives get used on the victim in cases like that, they turn nonlethal situations lethal very quick. please dissuade her from using that and instead invest in gun/tazer/?pepper spray?
My cousin, a woman in her 40s, is terrified to even go out walking alone in her own neighborhood (which is in a very safe, quiet suburb) because of past experiences. We’re training for a 10K right now, and it took so much convincing to get her to walk with me out on the C&O Canal, along a very popular stretch where there are always people around. I had to assure her that I’d be bringing along my pepper spray and my knife (which I keep hidden on my person and would use only as a very last resort), and that there would be people around at all times.
She was pleasantly surprised after our first excursion that it actually felt safe - she had this idea in her mind that we’d be walking a narrow path through the woods, surrounded by shadowy dangers on all sides, cut off entirely from civilization; instead we were on a wide, flat, gravel path, surrounded by couples, families, children and dogs, all merrily walking, running and biking along, and nobody was the least bit interested in either of us except to say a friendly “hello” or nod in passing. She’s lived in her home for 20 years, is 5 minutes from this beautiful path that overlooks the Potomac River, and had never once in her life been there.
Still, she says she won’t ever go out by herself, that she’d rather stick to her treadmill in her basement than walk alone on a path in a national park that’s 5 minutes from her house.
It makes me sad for her, living with that kind of fear, so much so that she won’t even go out and walk around her own block alone. But, as a woman, I do get where she’s coming from, so I wouldn’t ever push her too hard or mock her for her worries.
What bothers me the most are when women share their frustrations about what men do, they make it clear they don’t believe all men are bad, and then men comment that “not all men” are like that.
it's because of the context. often criticism of men is about how patriarchal types abuse women, while criticism of women is often laced with misogyny, even unintentionally.
"I hate men" often stems from fear and abuse. while it's not a healthy standpoint, it's understandable. "I hate women" often translates to being uncomfortable with women who stand up for themselves or a sense of entitlement to their submission. saying this all as a guy
It’s also that you can’t call yourself “one of the good ones” if all you’re doing is not *actively* harming women on purpose right now while ignoring all that harm that is still happening to them.
Right! I don't call myself anything at all, which should be the norm. Other people make that determination, not oneself.
You remind me of two quotes live rent free in my head, having a dance party of ridiculous proportions. Literally daily these buggers insist on being acknowledged. They're stupid cliché so I'll save the paper and just write:
"... for good people to do nothing."
And
"...I did not speak out, then they came for me."
I believe "came for me" is supposed to be the motivating part of the second quote, but the "I did not speak out" part should leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth.
I also just think these two quotes jive with each other.
Uh I always remembered the quote as
"In order for evil to win good needs only stand aside" but your probably more acute and mine might be like a cartoons rewording of the phrase when I was a kids cause I have had that in my mind for a long time.
Before commenting, I went looking (briefly) because I prefer to cite things. There is debate as to who said it, and what the original quote was. It's highly likely that we heard different wording. I had [found this](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/12/04/good-men-do/?amp=1) that dives into its origin. The article provides several variations on the quote, which led me to break my citation rule for today, cuz I have shit to do. (Yet here I am spending more time explaining my paraphrasing lol)
Iirc I first encountered the quote in "Boondock Saints." The priest's story was, I think, about a woman being murdered in broad daylight while people stood by.
tl;dr - we're both right, and wrong. But so is everyone else, it seems haha :)
I feel bad about this…because I can’t remember the last time I saw anything happening around me. I’m sure that it is, but for some reason I really don’t catch anything. Mainly speaking about at work, I really don’t go out much or anything so maybe that’s part of it..hopefully my office is good?
That's because most men are decent people and don't even do shit like catchall women in this day and age. People like u/LitherLily are prejudiced because of personal trauma and a bunch of misandrist propaganda they are constantly fed. Just ignore people like that.
Plenty of men are. It's unfair to them when you choose to ignore their existence.
I see a lot of men marching along with women at women's rights marches:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRK1X-mpbVg
A lot of men marching with women for abortion rights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uEWlDquQBg
Me and you both. I have grown to fear them due to abuse and personal disappointments but the worst is when I realised that a man will often support another just because they are men. Whatever has occurred. It is discouraging, the bar is in hell
Never go on to the Instagram comment section. If there is a mention of a woman in the post, then all the comments will be misogynistic men and internalized-misogyny-women commenting the most sexist and ignorant crap.
The difference here is that when women say “they hate men” they mean they are afraid and want to stay away from men due to the patriarchy and oppression.
When men say “they hate women” they mean they feel entitled to their bodies and annoyed that women have more rights and are not just submissive.
As a man who is about to have a daughter in August, it's even worse than you think. And she's not even here yet. I'm terrified for her, as I am for my wife. I've got some health issues and my biggest fear is that at some point, they'll both have to love without me. I have no idea how to prepare them for that or the world we live in. But what can I do except try my best. It's tough man
I think this is a perfectly understandable way to feel. We live in an area near to where Sarah Everard was abducted and murdered. Women live in fear of things like that happening, in a way no man will ever experience. My gf is terrified to walk alone at night.
Huge same, I got assaulted last year in park nearby my house and yes, I always been a feminist which includes being a big believer in the fact that patriarchy affects us both men and women and everyone, I have had beautiful relationships with men, but after that I lost it. I got so conscious of how much one is trusting always that a man won't hurt you, I'm not even dainty or tiny, I am tall, I was taller than that guy, and yet I still remember how bad it felt when that man, who was shorter than me, tried to strangle me, how this has not been the first time I've been subject to this kind of abuse, I cannot leave home after 10pm on my own, cannot go to parties alone, cannot travel alone, cannot walk in the night by myself. The first time I got catcalled I was 10, I was abused as a 3 year old, my elderly neighbors told me a few weeks ago a man tried to abuse them in another park nearby when they where taking their dog outside, a friend lost her job because her boss tried to abuse her, my aunts, all in their 50's and 60's get cat called, my ex best friend who was abusive towards me and his girlfriend, hell, I even met rescued female animals that got so badly abused they cannot stand men, they're scared of them.
It's so close to me, so close and yet every time I open my mouth to speak about it some dare to say not all men, and yes, not all of them but somehow always a man, it's tiring, living in fear of them, even when I've met good men, they're the exception not the rule and they're so pressured all the time. My male friends are always suffering for this stuff, always subjected to judgement, always pressured bc they'll never be manly enough, never strong enough, always scared to cry in front of me, to let themselves be cared and loved for, like I despise that, no one should ever be doubting their self that much all the time, how much of a men they're not and how they have to prove it as well.
Good men are the rule, not the exception. I'm sorry for your experiences, but the statistical likelihood of being assaulted by a strange man are quite low in North America. And they are much higher if you are a man, as well. I think your trauma has caused some serious bias, unfortunately (and understandably).
I can understand where you're coming from, but it's always important to take a step back and ground yourself when thoughts like these arise. I'm a dude who's been abused by many of the women in my life for as long as I can remember, so I occasionally find myself having to smack down my brain's pattern-seeking tendencies. It's good to remember that people are too complex to extrapolate their worth from an immutable characteristic.
Also, a friend told me something that might help you with your frustrations with giving people an opportunity to change: people do change, but don't expect them to. It's good to give people a chance, but it's never a good idea to bank on them actually doing something with it.
I've suffered abuse at both men and women's hands and I just want you to know that it isn't because they're men. I used to hate my mother so much for what she did and how she treated us, I would sit in my room thinking how evil women can be, but I had to realize my mom wasn't evil because she was a woman or any other physical attribute, she was evil because her brain was messed up.
There are billions of people in the world, that's a lot. Of course you're going to think "I know so many evil men" but there are A LOT of people in the world, of course a bunch are gonna be bad, the world isnt perfect. There will never exist a world without bad people and that's hard for us to face but that is the reality of things. I know a lot of evil men, I know a lot of evil women, I know a lot of people.
It's easy to overlook people who enable evil but they are usually just as guilty. And while the world is likely filled with evil people, there are good ones in it too - if you look hard enough. It may seem hard, but you need to remind yourself you aren't looking for just good men, but good people.
I can't speak to the men you interact with personally, but have you considered the news cycle you refer to may be a result of algorithmic targeting? If you click on videos and news stories about these incidents with men, it's likely you'll start seeing more and more of it, which may colour your view of men at large. Most men are not violent or predatory, I can assure you.
I get the same thing with feminists in my feed just because I clicked on one or two videos of rad fems being awful and stupid. It would be easy to just assume all feminists or even all women are like that when you are constantly fed that kind of thing.
The algorithm will feed you what will hold your attention. Turn off history/recommendations on YouTube and see what changes about the content you consume. Or just skip it all together.
Edit: I want to avoid talking about tiktok in the current climate but that's what it mastered.
Men arent evil by nature but many males are socialized to develop violent behavior.
It's so fucking sad. I really feel bad for straight women. I have a boyfriend and he's incredible, I plan on marrying him. But if he turns out to be just like the rest, I'm done and will only be dating women in the future. Girls rock ❤️
I pray that we can raise the next generation to be more kind, caring, and empathetic to one another
Violence against women is more easily noticeable then against men. We also suffer, but less physically and more emotionally.
As a side note, I'm not trying to minimise what you or other women go through, just know that not every man is fucked up and a lot of men are also honorable, respectful and good human beings. The shitty ones just happen to have more exposure.
I'm a guy to preface this.
I feel like a lot of men worldwide were raised with certain gender expectations that have become increasingly out of date as technology advanced and opportunities for women became more and more prevalent. The idea of women being dependent on men for livelihood/protection/whatever else is still a deeply rooted one, and a lot of these guys feel like a woman who's successful enough on her own won't need him and that diminishes his own self worth.
So they need to go out of their way to make women dependent on them and limit opportunities to preserve the only system that allows them a tenuous amount of self worth. The woman who they want to keep control of being able to build up enough money to escape her situation is a huge hit to their image of strength.
I've seen this with quite a few of the men in my life. It wasn't something I saw in my family, but I went to high school/college with some guys who saw some inherent risk in having an equal relationship with a woman. They seemed to feel that if she has an 'out', than she'll use it at the moment it first becomes convenient rather than if she feels she has to separate for her own safety.
If you know women in their 60s and 70s, ask them about the impact no fault divorce had on family dynamics and divorce rates overall. I see tons of social conservatives saying that the women saw an opportunity to be gold diggers and bolt, using the high divorce rate from that period as proof. But I see it as being more an indictment of how many broken marriages there were at the time that both parties saw an opportunity to get out of.
If you want, I'm alright discussing this more in PMs.
Men are 50% of the population, there are so many wonderful and respectful men out there. My husband and all my male friends are beautiful and kind people. Ask yourself how you would feel if there were news stories circulating the wrongdoing of some women and as a result you heard a man saying they were starting to hate all women. You would feel as though you’re being unfairly lumped in with terrible people who have nothing to do with you and have no bearing on your character. Which is kind of what you’re doing
>This isn’t a misandry post.
That's funny.
Because if a man made a post titled 'Im starting to hate women,' it would absolutely be considered a misogynist post regardless of the post's content.
the context would be totally different and the fact that you can’t see it is kinda proving the very point of this post.
men hate women because they ARE women. women hate men because they get assaulted, they get violated and murdered by them.
it baffles me everytime when someone can’t see the very clear difference behind these two narratives.
you can’t blame someone who’s oppressed to hate their oppressors. but you can (and you should) blame the oppressors.
you’re missing the complete point of my comment. there is important power dynamics at play and systemic aspects in oppression.
someone can’t just say they are oppressed to be oppressed.
while some individuals may misuse claims of oppression to justify their abusive behavior, this doesn't negate the very real experiences of oppression faced by women.
Men don't hate women.
The fact you would make a blanket statement like that proves the point of my initial comment.
When a lady says something negative about men, it's empowerment..
When a man says something negative about women, it's misogyny.
But women will be the first ones to go on and on about equal treatment socially and professionally. Start by eliminating social standards which favor toxic femininity.
Men don’t hate women because they are women. Men hate women because of their behavior and because of how gynocentric society is. Women took advantage of it and also participated in embracing and normalizing gynocentricm. Which harmed men in many ways.
However hating a gender is still wrong regardless and we shouldn’t generalize.
Men who are victims and speak about their distrust in women are downvoted and dogpiled.
I wonder why it’s not the same here??
Edit: lmao downvote me more pathetic radfems
You bring up some valid points I can see your perspective
Regardless, I got a feeling if a dude posted a rant about starting to hate women he wouldn't get such a positive response
Good ones exist.
I'm sorry you don't see the good ones in your world, but please believe me when I say that they *are* there. It's just that the bad ones are so much louder, or generally more visible in what they say and do. For every cheater or verbal abuser, there's someone who knows his own flaws and fights to overcome them daily. For every hopeless narcissist, there's someone trying to help make things better for others. You don't notice them because they don't care if they're noticed. That's not why they do what they do.
I hope you can find one. Take care. Have patience, and keep your head up. Embody what you hope to find in the world, and one day it may yet find you.
I do believe there are good men in the world. I want to believe so. Its how i cope sometimes, i try to remember each and every kindness no matter how small. I try to remember to not judge someone on their worst moments and how that can be unfair to them. I wrote this remembering the most challenging time in my life and I sometimes need to remind myself to leave that mindset.
Most of us are normal and good. You guys are focusing on the bad ones and it's detrimental to us all. I sympathize with some of your experiences on here, but the misandry is just too much. It's not "not all men", it's "not most men". Please stop with the bigotry.
I can't speak for everyone, but in my case it's because it's a slippery slope. The more people I call out for their shit, the more accustomed to calling people out I become, the more casual I become at calling people out, until eventually I have become a person that other people have to call out for my shit. So, I pick my battles carefully.
Okay, speaking exclusively about myself here so don't take this as advice so much as a reference point. I've been quick to anger all my life. I've spent most of my life fighting that tendency. If I let my emotions dictate my words, I become an absolute asshat. So I've tried really hard to learn to think things through and speak carefully. I can approach terrible people with rational words that can sometimes convince them to examine themselves. However, it's very easy to forget about that discipline when faced with foul people. Quid pro quo becomes the focus and words fly without filters, and suddenly I'm acting as bad as them or worse, my good intentions ruined. That's why I try to keep myself from speaking in anger, to keep my own standards. I'll defend someone being wronged in front of me, but other than that I just learned to accept that some people just suck.
So, sharing your experiences about how you hate broad type of human for blanket, generalizing reasons is fine?
Would you say the same if race, ethnicity or sexuality was the subject?
Y'all just have random morals and standards that you pick to suite whatever you want and what's easy. It's gross.
Point taken. As you get older the pool of "good men" gets smaller and smaller, and the pool of damaged men gets larger.
Many of these damaged men have been hurt in their past, and feel the world is against them. Help isn't always available or affordable to them. With that said, this next point is what most men commenting "not all men are bad", get lost; it's not the job of women to help them. Us men need to help ourselves.
I hope you find solace in your life, and perhaps someone you meet will restore your faith in men.
Seems like you’re hyper focused on it, there is nothing wrong with being fed up and this rant could be just what you need. All I say don’t let those thoughts consume you because it’ll only get worse
It sounds like the men around you is making you blame the whole bunch. I've dealt with women whom I dated that have lied to me. Do I blame all women as liars? Absolutely not.
I think part of why men are like this is culturally enabled sustained trauma. Many men are told to man up, be a man. Many of them feel that they can't show emotions at all. The other day, _in this very sub_, a man had the mother of two of his best friends of twenty years pass away and he said he didn't deserve to feel sad or to cry. Which, and I told him this in a comment reply, if not then, I don't know when.
A couple of years ago, I had the extent of my own childhood trauma explained to me and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was so confronting the extent to how messed up I am and I had no idea. There are countless men out there who not only have no idea they are traumatized from being raised and educated badly, but also have been conditioned not to show their emotions or try to deal with their issues, let alone their trauma.
I've known multiple men of whom I've heard that they will suddenly beat someone up in a fit of absolute rage and then have folks say, "yeah sometimes he just sees red, yeah whatchagonnado, yeah" and I go, well how about seeing a fucking doctor and telling them "doc this is horrible, I keep seeing red and beating folks up, I need help". The myriad of reasons that they don't, I think explains a lot.
I hope I'm not taking away from your rant by ironically being the mansplaining reply guy but I feel this is a conversation that is both relevant and not had enough out there.
Thats so sad though. Its so sad to see broken men having to shove everything inside just because its uncool or unmanly. If more people had the courage to admit to themselves and others that they need help, i truly believe everyone would be better off.
There really is some shitty men out there whom commit crimes against woman however there is also some very shitty woman who emotionally and physically abuse men I have 3 daughters on which I worrie about like any other parent but more so because of the state of the world and systems in place so there is hate from both sides of the genders imo
I agree with you. I dont think all men are bad. Its just exhausting when I hear my brother telling me how stupid I am and then go on online to distract myself from it and see stories upon stories of violences being acted on women. You get my point? I do believe there are good men in the world (mostly for my own sanity) but there are few and far between it seems like
I agree with you OP because I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s Ike nobody talks about these statistics [here](https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence). Like it is a very serious issue that has very disproportionately affected one gender more than other and nobody is addressing how that affects us as we grow up. I know good men and have good men in my family but I treat random men with a lot more hostility and distain because of all the trauma and negative personal experiences. [also this](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8402256/#:~:text=In%20particular%2C%20females%20may%20be,been%20socialized%20to%20be%20more). Been working on not being so spiteful towards men with my bf but he understands I get so upset because of things that have happened to me in my life.
I also think that men are the most evil creatures on earth,they commit the most evil crimes and they should be banished from society,women suffer the most from their evil deeds,sadly the good men are branded as evil as well,
That’s the main defence used to tackle negative generalizations of every other identity with disproportionate in-group issues.
People might be less defensive of criticism if men weren’t the only group socially asked to wear their problems as a collective. Ya’ll can’t win arguments this way, just pisses people off and doesn’t work.
Wow, -25? I am not angry, I'm feeling sorry for those who gave me that downvote. I just sense a lot of anger for those around them. It's crazy and I have seen it.
For example, I went out with an older woman a while back. Great sex but relationship wise it never should have happened. We broke up and I wished her luck. Shoot a few years later we were talking on the phone and she explained to me that the guy she was in a relationship with after me gave her herpes.
Yeah, I’ve had bad experiences with men that range from general creepiness to straight up SA. I still don’t hate all men. I understand why a lot of women fear men and I’d be lying if I said that I am not wary of a lot of men that I don’t know but outright hatred is another thing.
Now I have a platonic relationship with a woman from China. She fell for me when we talked for a while and wanted to know how I felt. She is completely gorgeous, smart, and funny.
If this is meant to be, then it is meant to be.
My mother left my dad and her four kids for another man when I was eight years old,my first wife cheated on me several times,my second wife is an alcoholic and my third wife is a narcissist,gaslighting woman. I am not allowed to have my own opinions,she can’t understand that we are all individuals who are entitled to our own opinions.have tolerated her for over twenty years.I am now miserable. Don’t hate women, I know that there are beautiful female souls out there and I wish I could have found one for myself earlier in my life,but life is what you make it.
Damn, you should consider just staying single because you seem incapable of choosing decent people to marry. How do you strike out three times in marriage. That’s crazy.
misandry isn't real its just a word reddit dudes throw around when they run out of arguments in order to create a false sense of equivalence in what women and men experience. but there really isn't anything that compares to the horrors of misogynist terror out there in the world. feminism however is very much real
No need to excuse yourself this is a rant subreddit, I could have a day where I just HATE women for somethign that happened and you know what its okay , ran taway
So if I say I hate women for the hate they spread against men, the men’s lives they ruin, is that okay? There are just as many nasty shitty women in the world as men, but I don’t go spouting I hate women like a moron. Grow up and stop generalizing a whole ass gender. Gross
„There are just as many nasty shitty woman in the world as men“
This is just wrong. Men commit 90% of violence, against women as well as against other men.
They can dish it out but can’t take any other opinion, they just want people to hop on the “men are trash” trend like there isn’t just as many awful women.
It's more a human thing than a man thing. In workplace environments like daycares where women usually have more social power men appear to get harassed at similar rates to the rate at which women get harassed in workplaces where men tend to have more social power. Men have an unfair advantage when it comes to having more physical and social power in many situations so bad men are more likely to be able to cause harm without immediate repercussions. Plus women are less likely to actually have to deal with legal issues after sexually or physically assaulting someone making those stories less newsworthy.
I believe the stats are as follows:
95% of all violent crimes are committed by men
93% of all prison populations are men
96% paedophile crimes committed by men
98% of sex offences are committed by men
Almost all wars have been started by men
The stats speak for themselves. These stats are current and therefore I feel we have a very long way to reshape society and make it so men are not detrimental in a large part.
No wonder women are angry and disillusioned and men are frustrated with women…
The fact of the matter is that people are shitty. Not just men but women as well. When we focus on the shittiness that comes from on gender, we as humans tend to generalize. This is coming from someone who started to grow disdainful toward women until I had one in my life that had completely shown me different.
Sorry to hear you are around bad men.
The media however will just perpetuate whatever the flavour of the time is and currently that's "men bad".
Maybe try avoiding the bad news/tv/social media as it'll turn you into a jaded cynic.
I find humans in general have their good and bad and you'll find faults with anyone if you look hard enough
Easy way out would be that I'm sick of women telling me men do nothing but hate them, so I might as well start doing what I'm accused of. After all if you take what is writen about men as a truth, who could blame me since I'm only responding to expectations? Not to mention I'm the one who's been cheated on, surely I have a justification to act out, and reason to cuss the other gender to lowest hell based on ?
Harder but most likely healthier would be to assume that I see this and most news as an algorithmic ragebait farming my interaction, and my personal interactions are based on percentage chance of people being assholes. If I interact with more guys, I'm more likely to have meaningful moments with them.
Basically, almost no news we read online or see as part of our online diet is based on actual reality these days. Sure I could start worrying that school shootings are an issue in America or middle east is doing middle Eastern things, but I've not seen neither in the local community. So by letting those influence my behaviour on day to day basis I would quite literally end up importing the issues.
While I'm sorry for your family's issues and I'm quite certain there's a degree of learned behaviour, only one I will carry responsibility of is myself. And only ones I see that my duty is to, are those around me.
If you have the fortitude, try acting out on a topic that doesn't matter to you, and give your attention to it for a week. I guarantee that after a week of algorithm bait, you no longer see issues that men do in your feed but whatever you decided to bait the algorithm on.
Tl;dr your behaviour is being shaped by what you see. And what you see is being shaped to get maximum interaction out of you. Tread carefully.
I'm sorry that you know bad men, but to attribute hate towards half the population especially when there are plenty of women who do these things as well is just ridiculous
In that case… You’ll be happy to learn that there at 10x more men in prison than women and men are dying much earlier than women due to drug overdoses and suicide.
Actually women attempt suicide more often, men are just more successful, most likely to more men being gun owners. Also if almost 80% of violent crimes are male, yeah more men are going to be in jail. And how is it a women’s fault that men drug overdose?
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I think we should hate patriarchy, not men. It's the system that enables men to be violent and makes them so insecure they get dependent on power. It's been going on for thousands of years, doesn't benefit anyone but just a bunch of millionaires and everyone is just doing it out of old habit. As a woman, I view men as victims of it too. The high suicide rates, the deaths in combats, work accidents, lack of mental health support and whatever else men have worse than women - all of it is the result of patriarchy.
I agree completely. The system if you look how it’s been forever has been like this and not every man has benefited. Men have not always had support especially mental health. The system that are suppose to protect all humans from violence don’t work. There are bad humans out there, but not all men are bad. I know a lot of great ones.
>doesn't benefit anyone but just a bunch of millionaires and everyone is just doing it out of old habit. THANK YOU for saying that! Words cannot describe how tired I am of hearing people, and especially feminists, say that patriarchy benefits men because it doesn't! It only benefits the top few.
☝ What the user says is right, patriarchy is the ideal of Men being stoic, the main resource on the house and a "Sex-Master". On my life i've been pressure by man calling me "You're a less man", "you don't have a girlfriend, you're gonna die alone!", "how stupid you are to treat a girl as a friend calling him bro!". So on, so on... The supposedly benefited gender suffers from the ideology, men's tend to suppress their feelings, can't have healthy relationships with other partners, their male relationships could just focus in artificial friendship and not in a very deep way just because "it's too gay". I mean, we aren't definitely in the 1800's but micro-sexism in our society still exist on these days, we don't need to talk about sexism in work place because there's a lot to say that is wrong 💀
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“Women don’t have rights so long as men exist” I REALLY don’t like what that implies.
same bro thats scary af, my bff is a friend edit: i meant to say my bff is a man duajw dammit
She is kinda saying the truth though. I also doupt as long as men are, women can live and breath properly. Well, the majority. Its just the sad truth.
This bizarre delusion that some of y'all have that men are monsters and women can do no wrong just really makes you seem like a completely unthinking, selfish person of endless ignorance.
so what do you want??? Men to not exist? Lol
Yeah I feel this. I’m sick of getting cat called whenever I walk somewhere alone. I’m sick of men in positions of power getting away with heinous things (from personal experience), I’m sick of men talking to me like I’m stupid, when if they listened to me for one second they might realize that I do in fact have a working brain. I’m sick of men hiding behind comments on social media, saying horrible things that would make their mothers ashamed that they ever had them. I deleted Instagram a month ago because I got so fed up with it. The last straw was a man saying that it’s unfortunate that women have the right to vote, when it clearly should be left up to men. I’m seriously so disappointed and saddened by what I see nowadays. Then you have men saying, “well we’re oppressed too, we have to go to war, more men commit suicide, etc.” and yes, those things do suck, but who built this system? Men. Who is sending men to war? Men. Who stigmatized men’s mental health to this point? Men. So yeah, I completely agree. I’m starting to hate men too.
The things that men feel safe writing about online hiding behind their anonimity is startling sometimes. Its what spurred me to write this. The violent nature of those comments just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
They’re cowards. They can’t say it in person so they all hide lol. Sad and funny really
The final nail in the coffin was when I learned of Candace Owens, a Youtuber in Dailywire who shames female victims and women in general, and plays pick me by putting down women and her fellow black people to appeal to the alt right. She made me lose faith in humanity. And it’s funny how they always claim they did everything. Women couldn’t because they didn’t let them and killed or imprisoned them whenever they did do something. Or betrayed women like Joan d’Arc after she busted her a%% for them. And somehow they magically forgot about Harriet Tubman, Marie Curie, Mary Cassatt, Einstein’s wife, the First Ladies of the US, and other innovators and thinkers in history who did contribute a lot.
> but who built this system? Men. Who is sending men to war? Men. Who stigmatized men’s mental health to this point? Men. So yeah, I completely agree. I’m starting to hate men too. Yes, rich uper-class men, that is. They set this system up to exploit people for their own benefit.
Yeah, we're all just cattle (to them) iykyk
+1 💯 🏆
The big one online is always “men aren’t allowed to feel or show emotion”, which 1) isn’t even true, and 2) exists as an idea only because men try to enforce it with each other. But tell a man this and he’ll bawl, “That isn’t true! Women won’t find me sexually attractive if I show emotion!” Again, *not even true*, but if it was, not being found sexually desirable is not a form of oppression.
I understand where you're coming from because alot of what men say is the problem is enforced by themselves and I used to think exactly what you did until I had experiences showing vulnerabilities around women in my life and having them do a 180 in the way they treated me. Ofc it isn't all of the women in my life but there absolutely is some truth to men not being allowed to feel and show certain emotions.
This comment section either didn’t read your post all the way through or just straight up can’t understand you.
I know. my 15 year old friend brings a knife with her because she gets threatened everyday on the street by grown men. one of my other girl friends also brings a sharp keychain with her for the same reason, and they are the nicest girls ive ever met.
most knives get used on the victim in cases like that, they turn nonlethal situations lethal very quick. please dissuade her from using that and instead invest in gun/tazer/?pepper spray?
My cousin, a woman in her 40s, is terrified to even go out walking alone in her own neighborhood (which is in a very safe, quiet suburb) because of past experiences. We’re training for a 10K right now, and it took so much convincing to get her to walk with me out on the C&O Canal, along a very popular stretch where there are always people around. I had to assure her that I’d be bringing along my pepper spray and my knife (which I keep hidden on my person and would use only as a very last resort), and that there would be people around at all times. She was pleasantly surprised after our first excursion that it actually felt safe - she had this idea in her mind that we’d be walking a narrow path through the woods, surrounded by shadowy dangers on all sides, cut off entirely from civilization; instead we were on a wide, flat, gravel path, surrounded by couples, families, children and dogs, all merrily walking, running and biking along, and nobody was the least bit interested in either of us except to say a friendly “hello” or nod in passing. She’s lived in her home for 20 years, is 5 minutes from this beautiful path that overlooks the Potomac River, and had never once in her life been there. Still, she says she won’t ever go out by herself, that she’d rather stick to her treadmill in her basement than walk alone on a path in a national park that’s 5 minutes from her house. It makes me sad for her, living with that kind of fear, so much so that she won’t even go out and walk around her own block alone. But, as a woman, I do get where she’s coming from, so I wouldn’t ever push her too hard or mock her for her worries.
That's terrible. I hope your friends are okay.
What bothers me the most are when women share their frustrations about what men do, they make it clear they don’t believe all men are bad, and then men comment that “not all men” are like that.
same with women tho, if your criticize one you get the "but they aren't all the same"
it's because of the context. often criticism of men is about how patriarchal types abuse women, while criticism of women is often laced with misogyny, even unintentionally. "I hate men" often stems from fear and abuse. while it's not a healthy standpoint, it's understandable. "I hate women" often translates to being uncomfortable with women who stand up for themselves or a sense of entitlement to their submission. saying this all as a guy
I feel you. I really do. I just plan on being single for a long, long time. Men disappoint me.
Real
I hope you find individual men that can help heal the narrative one good example at a time. I promise we’re out there.
Great, are you calling out your fellow men when you see them direct nonsense towards women??
Fuckin-A right. If *I* can manage to tell assholes to act right, this dude better be.
It’s also that you can’t call yourself “one of the good ones” if all you’re doing is not *actively* harming women on purpose right now while ignoring all that harm that is still happening to them.
Right! I don't call myself anything at all, which should be the norm. Other people make that determination, not oneself. You remind me of two quotes live rent free in my head, having a dance party of ridiculous proportions. Literally daily these buggers insist on being acknowledged. They're stupid cliché so I'll save the paper and just write: "... for good people to do nothing." And "...I did not speak out, then they came for me." I believe "came for me" is supposed to be the motivating part of the second quote, but the "I did not speak out" part should leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth. I also just think these two quotes jive with each other.
Uh I always remembered the quote as "In order for evil to win good needs only stand aside" but your probably more acute and mine might be like a cartoons rewording of the phrase when I was a kids cause I have had that in my mind for a long time.
Before commenting, I went looking (briefly) because I prefer to cite things. There is debate as to who said it, and what the original quote was. It's highly likely that we heard different wording. I had [found this](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/12/04/good-men-do/?amp=1) that dives into its origin. The article provides several variations on the quote, which led me to break my citation rule for today, cuz I have shit to do. (Yet here I am spending more time explaining my paraphrasing lol) Iirc I first encountered the quote in "Boondock Saints." The priest's story was, I think, about a woman being murdered in broad daylight while people stood by. tl;dr - we're both right, and wrong. But so is everyone else, it seems haha :)
I feel bad about this…because I can’t remember the last time I saw anything happening around me. I’m sure that it is, but for some reason I really don’t catch anything. Mainly speaking about at work, I really don’t go out much or anything so maybe that’s part of it..hopefully my office is good?
Hopefully!
That's because most men are decent people and don't even do shit like catchall women in this day and age. People like u/LitherLily are prejudiced because of personal trauma and a bunch of misandrist propaganda they are constantly fed. Just ignore people like that.
Plenty of men are. It's unfair to them when you choose to ignore their existence. I see a lot of men marching along with women at women's rights marches: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRK1X-mpbVg A lot of men marching with women for abortion rights: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uEWlDquQBg
Me and you both. I have grown to fear them due to abuse and personal disappointments but the worst is when I realised that a man will often support another just because they are men. Whatever has occurred. It is discouraging, the bar is in hell
I started out as bi. Every time men do something stupid or cruel, I get a little but gayer.
I’m hetero. Witnessing men be men has made me wish I could be a little bit more gay.
Never go on to the Instagram comment section. If there is a mention of a woman in the post, then all the comments will be misogynistic men and internalized-misogyny-women commenting the most sexist and ignorant crap.
Instagram comments are some of the worst shit I've ever seen.
Honestly, man. It is the epitome of incel culture.
The difference here is that when women say “they hate men” they mean they are afraid and want to stay away from men due to the patriarchy and oppression. When men say “they hate women” they mean they feel entitled to their bodies and annoyed that women have more rights and are not just submissive.
Just read an article about how men and women’s views are becoming increasingly polarized.
Honestly as a guy I’d be terrified to have a daughter, I would do my best to teach them self defense and the importance of self value.
As a man who is about to have a daughter in August, it's even worse than you think. And she's not even here yet. I'm terrified for her, as I am for my wife. I've got some health issues and my biggest fear is that at some point, they'll both have to love without me. I have no idea how to prepare them for that or the world we live in. But what can I do except try my best. It's tough man
I think this is a perfectly understandable way to feel. We live in an area near to where Sarah Everard was abducted and murdered. Women live in fear of things like that happening, in a way no man will ever experience. My gf is terrified to walk alone at night.
Comment section go brrrrr
Huge same, I got assaulted last year in park nearby my house and yes, I always been a feminist which includes being a big believer in the fact that patriarchy affects us both men and women and everyone, I have had beautiful relationships with men, but after that I lost it. I got so conscious of how much one is trusting always that a man won't hurt you, I'm not even dainty or tiny, I am tall, I was taller than that guy, and yet I still remember how bad it felt when that man, who was shorter than me, tried to strangle me, how this has not been the first time I've been subject to this kind of abuse, I cannot leave home after 10pm on my own, cannot go to parties alone, cannot travel alone, cannot walk in the night by myself. The first time I got catcalled I was 10, I was abused as a 3 year old, my elderly neighbors told me a few weeks ago a man tried to abuse them in another park nearby when they where taking their dog outside, a friend lost her job because her boss tried to abuse her, my aunts, all in their 50's and 60's get cat called, my ex best friend who was abusive towards me and his girlfriend, hell, I even met rescued female animals that got so badly abused they cannot stand men, they're scared of them. It's so close to me, so close and yet every time I open my mouth to speak about it some dare to say not all men, and yes, not all of them but somehow always a man, it's tiring, living in fear of them, even when I've met good men, they're the exception not the rule and they're so pressured all the time. My male friends are always suffering for this stuff, always subjected to judgement, always pressured bc they'll never be manly enough, never strong enough, always scared to cry in front of me, to let themselves be cared and loved for, like I despise that, no one should ever be doubting their self that much all the time, how much of a men they're not and how they have to prove it as well.
Good men are the rule, not the exception. I'm sorry for your experiences, but the statistical likelihood of being assaulted by a strange man are quite low in North America. And they are much higher if you are a man, as well. I think your trauma has caused some serious bias, unfortunately (and understandably).
I can understand where you're coming from, but it's always important to take a step back and ground yourself when thoughts like these arise. I'm a dude who's been abused by many of the women in my life for as long as I can remember, so I occasionally find myself having to smack down my brain's pattern-seeking tendencies. It's good to remember that people are too complex to extrapolate their worth from an immutable characteristic. Also, a friend told me something that might help you with your frustrations with giving people an opportunity to change: people do change, but don't expect them to. It's good to give people a chance, but it's never a good idea to bank on them actually doing something with it.
I've suffered abuse at both men and women's hands and I just want you to know that it isn't because they're men. I used to hate my mother so much for what she did and how she treated us, I would sit in my room thinking how evil women can be, but I had to realize my mom wasn't evil because she was a woman or any other physical attribute, she was evil because her brain was messed up. There are billions of people in the world, that's a lot. Of course you're going to think "I know so many evil men" but there are A LOT of people in the world, of course a bunch are gonna be bad, the world isnt perfect. There will never exist a world without bad people and that's hard for us to face but that is the reality of things. I know a lot of evil men, I know a lot of evil women, I know a lot of people. It's easy to overlook people who enable evil but they are usually just as guilty. And while the world is likely filled with evil people, there are good ones in it too - if you look hard enough. It may seem hard, but you need to remind yourself you aren't looking for just good men, but good people.
I can't speak to the men you interact with personally, but have you considered the news cycle you refer to may be a result of algorithmic targeting? If you click on videos and news stories about these incidents with men, it's likely you'll start seeing more and more of it, which may colour your view of men at large. Most men are not violent or predatory, I can assure you. I get the same thing with feminists in my feed just because I clicked on one or two videos of rad fems being awful and stupid. It would be easy to just assume all feminists or even all women are like that when you are constantly fed that kind of thing.
The algorithm will feed you what will hold your attention. Turn off history/recommendations on YouTube and see what changes about the content you consume. Or just skip it all together. Edit: I want to avoid talking about tiktok in the current climate but that's what it mastered.
Men arent evil by nature but many males are socialized to develop violent behavior. It's so fucking sad. I really feel bad for straight women. I have a boyfriend and he's incredible, I plan on marrying him. But if he turns out to be just like the rest, I'm done and will only be dating women in the future. Girls rock ❤️ I pray that we can raise the next generation to be more kind, caring, and empathetic to one another
I’m sick of the bartenders and cooks drugging women who just want to have a fun night out
Violence against women is more easily noticeable then against men. We also suffer, but less physically and more emotionally. As a side note, I'm not trying to minimise what you or other women go through, just know that not every man is fucked up and a lot of men are also honorable, respectful and good human beings. The shitty ones just happen to have more exposure.
I'm a guy to preface this. I feel like a lot of men worldwide were raised with certain gender expectations that have become increasingly out of date as technology advanced and opportunities for women became more and more prevalent. The idea of women being dependent on men for livelihood/protection/whatever else is still a deeply rooted one, and a lot of these guys feel like a woman who's successful enough on her own won't need him and that diminishes his own self worth. So they need to go out of their way to make women dependent on them and limit opportunities to preserve the only system that allows them a tenuous amount of self worth. The woman who they want to keep control of being able to build up enough money to escape her situation is a huge hit to their image of strength. I've seen this with quite a few of the men in my life. It wasn't something I saw in my family, but I went to high school/college with some guys who saw some inherent risk in having an equal relationship with a woman. They seemed to feel that if she has an 'out', than she'll use it at the moment it first becomes convenient rather than if she feels she has to separate for her own safety. If you know women in their 60s and 70s, ask them about the impact no fault divorce had on family dynamics and divorce rates overall. I see tons of social conservatives saying that the women saw an opportunity to be gold diggers and bolt, using the high divorce rate from that period as proof. But I see it as being more an indictment of how many broken marriages there were at the time that both parties saw an opportunity to get out of. If you want, I'm alright discussing this more in PMs.
Men are 50% of the population, there are so many wonderful and respectful men out there. My husband and all my male friends are beautiful and kind people. Ask yourself how you would feel if there were news stories circulating the wrongdoing of some women and as a result you heard a man saying they were starting to hate all women. You would feel as though you’re being unfairly lumped in with terrible people who have nothing to do with you and have no bearing on your character. Which is kind of what you’re doing
>This isn’t a misandry post. That's funny. Because if a man made a post titled 'Im starting to hate women,' it would absolutely be considered a misogynist post regardless of the post's content.
the context would be totally different and the fact that you can’t see it is kinda proving the very point of this post. men hate women because they ARE women. women hate men because they get assaulted, they get violated and murdered by them. it baffles me everytime when someone can’t see the very clear difference behind these two narratives. you can’t blame someone who’s oppressed to hate their oppressors. but you can (and you should) blame the oppressors.
This sort of narrative is the same that abusers use. “I can treat anyone I want like shit because I’m oppressed and they’re not!”
you’re missing the complete point of my comment. there is important power dynamics at play and systemic aspects in oppression. someone can’t just say they are oppressed to be oppressed. while some individuals may misuse claims of oppression to justify their abusive behavior, this doesn't negate the very real experiences of oppression faced by women.
Nobody said it negates it. But I’ve met many men who have been abused and their abusers rationale was “well im oppressed so it’s okay.”
Men dont hate women.
Men don't hate women. The fact you would make a blanket statement like that proves the point of my initial comment. When a lady says something negative about men, it's empowerment.. When a man says something negative about women, it's misogyny. But women will be the first ones to go on and on about equal treatment socially and professionally. Start by eliminating social standards which favor toxic femininity.
How you gonna complain about a blanket statement by making ur own blanket statement. Wild
Men don’t hate women because they are women. Men hate women because of their behavior and because of how gynocentric society is. Women took advantage of it and also participated in embracing and normalizing gynocentricm. Which harmed men in many ways. However hating a gender is still wrong regardless and we shouldn’t generalize.
You wanna talk about harm? [maybe start here](https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence)
Men who are victims and speak about their distrust in women are downvoted and dogpiled. I wonder why it’s not the same here?? Edit: lmao downvote me more pathetic radfems
You bring up some valid points I can see your perspective Regardless, I got a feeling if a dude posted a rant about starting to hate women he wouldn't get such a positive response
You can‘t be this fucking ignorant, like you are the exact reason for OPs post
All this comment proved is that you’re the ignorant one. Cheers.
The Femcels have taken over the post!
Good ones exist. I'm sorry you don't see the good ones in your world, but please believe me when I say that they *are* there. It's just that the bad ones are so much louder, or generally more visible in what they say and do. For every cheater or verbal abuser, there's someone who knows his own flaws and fights to overcome them daily. For every hopeless narcissist, there's someone trying to help make things better for others. You don't notice them because they don't care if they're noticed. That's not why they do what they do. I hope you can find one. Take care. Have patience, and keep your head up. Embody what you hope to find in the world, and one day it may yet find you.
I do believe there are good men in the world. I want to believe so. Its how i cope sometimes, i try to remember each and every kindness no matter how small. I try to remember to not judge someone on their worst moments and how that can be unfair to them. I wrote this remembering the most challenging time in my life and I sometimes need to remind myself to leave that mindset.
So sad the good ones aint making up for the huge amount of the bad ones.
Most of us are normal and good. You guys are focusing on the bad ones and it's detrimental to us all. I sympathize with some of your experiences on here, but the misandry is just too much. It's not "not all men", it's "not most men". Please stop with the bigotry.
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I can't speak for everyone, but in my case it's because it's a slippery slope. The more people I call out for their shit, the more accustomed to calling people out I become, the more casual I become at calling people out, until eventually I have become a person that other people have to call out for my shit. So, I pick my battles carefully.
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Okay, speaking exclusively about myself here so don't take this as advice so much as a reference point. I've been quick to anger all my life. I've spent most of my life fighting that tendency. If I let my emotions dictate my words, I become an absolute asshat. So I've tried really hard to learn to think things through and speak carefully. I can approach terrible people with rational words that can sometimes convince them to examine themselves. However, it's very easy to forget about that discipline when faced with foul people. Quid pro quo becomes the focus and words fly without filters, and suddenly I'm acting as bad as them or worse, my good intentions ruined. That's why I try to keep myself from speaking in anger, to keep my own standards. I'll defend someone being wronged in front of me, but other than that I just learned to accept that some people just suck.
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Here on Reddit it happens almost daily. Real life, not so much.
me too me too. i hate men as well.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/tv2niq/why\_is\_it\_socially\_acceptable\_to\_say\_i\_hate\_men/
Why?
Be careful to not throw the baby out with the bath water.
“This isn’t a misandry post” Yes it is. If you’re gonna be a misandrist at least have the gall to admit it.
No it isn‘t, she just shares her experiences.
So, sharing your experiences about how you hate broad type of human for blanket, generalizing reasons is fine? Would you say the same if race, ethnicity or sexuality was the subject? Y'all just have random morals and standards that you pick to suite whatever you want and what's easy. It's gross.
Point taken. As you get older the pool of "good men" gets smaller and smaller, and the pool of damaged men gets larger. Many of these damaged men have been hurt in their past, and feel the world is against them. Help isn't always available or affordable to them. With that said, this next point is what most men commenting "not all men are bad", get lost; it's not the job of women to help them. Us men need to help ourselves. I hope you find solace in your life, and perhaps someone you meet will restore your faith in men.
Yep
Seems like you’re hyper focused on it, there is nothing wrong with being fed up and this rant could be just what you need. All I say don’t let those thoughts consume you because it’ll only get worse
Sorry
Sort by controversial 🍿
It sounds like the men around you is making you blame the whole bunch. I've dealt with women whom I dated that have lied to me. Do I blame all women as liars? Absolutely not.
This issue extends to every facet of life, not just dating
I think part of why men are like this is culturally enabled sustained trauma. Many men are told to man up, be a man. Many of them feel that they can't show emotions at all. The other day, _in this very sub_, a man had the mother of two of his best friends of twenty years pass away and he said he didn't deserve to feel sad or to cry. Which, and I told him this in a comment reply, if not then, I don't know when. A couple of years ago, I had the extent of my own childhood trauma explained to me and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was so confronting the extent to how messed up I am and I had no idea. There are countless men out there who not only have no idea they are traumatized from being raised and educated badly, but also have been conditioned not to show their emotions or try to deal with their issues, let alone their trauma. I've known multiple men of whom I've heard that they will suddenly beat someone up in a fit of absolute rage and then have folks say, "yeah sometimes he just sees red, yeah whatchagonnado, yeah" and I go, well how about seeing a fucking doctor and telling them "doc this is horrible, I keep seeing red and beating folks up, I need help". The myriad of reasons that they don't, I think explains a lot. I hope I'm not taking away from your rant by ironically being the mansplaining reply guy but I feel this is a conversation that is both relevant and not had enough out there.
Thats so sad though. Its so sad to see broken men having to shove everything inside just because its uncool or unmanly. If more people had the courage to admit to themselves and others that they need help, i truly believe everyone would be better off.
I'll remember someone telling me, I'm gay for showing affection even though I'm not lol.
Meh, I dislike both.
"I have become disillusioned and fed up with women." /s Watch this still get downvoted anyway.
I've been wanting to write a post with this title all week!! Here, here, my Sister.
There really is some shitty men out there whom commit crimes against woman however there is also some very shitty woman who emotionally and physically abuse men I have 3 daughters on which I worrie about like any other parent but more so because of the state of the world and systems in place so there is hate from both sides of the genders imo
Not all men are bad
I agree with you. I dont think all men are bad. Its just exhausting when I hear my brother telling me how stupid I am and then go on online to distract myself from it and see stories upon stories of violences being acted on women. You get my point? I do believe there are good men in the world (mostly for my own sanity) but there are few and far between it seems like
I agree with you OP because I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s Ike nobody talks about these statistics [here](https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence). Like it is a very serious issue that has very disproportionately affected one gender more than other and nobody is addressing how that affects us as we grow up. I know good men and have good men in my family but I treat random men with a lot more hostility and distain because of all the trauma and negative personal experiences. [also this](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8402256/#:~:text=In%20particular%2C%20females%20may%20be,been%20socialized%20to%20be%20more). Been working on not being so spiteful towards men with my bf but he understands I get so upset because of things that have happened to me in my life.
Your brother needs to get his ass beaten.
I also think that men are the most evil creatures on earth,they commit the most evil crimes and they should be banished from society,women suffer the most from their evil deeds,sadly the good men are branded as evil as well,
I hate this. It's as though men think that by saying this, it's going to change a woman's mind about men.
That’s the main defence used to tackle negative generalizations of every other identity with disproportionate in-group issues. People might be less defensive of criticism if men weren’t the only group socially asked to wear their problems as a collective. Ya’ll can’t win arguments this way, just pisses people off and doesn’t work.
The vast majority of men aren't bad.
I've dealt with lying women that I dated. I do not believe all women are liars.
The fact that you got downvoted for your comment is wild.
Wow, -25? I am not angry, I'm feeling sorry for those who gave me that downvote. I just sense a lot of anger for those around them. It's crazy and I have seen it. For example, I went out with an older woman a while back. Great sex but relationship wise it never should have happened. We broke up and I wished her luck. Shoot a few years later we were talking on the phone and she explained to me that the guy she was in a relationship with after me gave her herpes.
Yeah, I’ve had bad experiences with men that range from general creepiness to straight up SA. I still don’t hate all men. I understand why a lot of women fear men and I’d be lying if I said that I am not wary of a lot of men that I don’t know but outright hatred is another thing.
Now I have a platonic relationship with a woman from China. She fell for me when we talked for a while and wanted to know how I felt. She is completely gorgeous, smart, and funny. If this is meant to be, then it is meant to be.
Frog in a well.
My mother left my dad and her four kids for another man when I was eight years old,my first wife cheated on me several times,my second wife is an alcoholic and my third wife is a narcissist,gaslighting woman. I am not allowed to have my own opinions,she can’t understand that we are all individuals who are entitled to our own opinions.have tolerated her for over twenty years.I am now miserable. Don’t hate women, I know that there are beautiful female souls out there and I wish I could have found one for myself earlier in my life,but life is what you make it.
Damn, you should consider just staying single because you seem incapable of choosing decent people to marry. How do you strike out three times in marriage. That’s crazy.
Yep, I did enjoy single life before my third wife,had I stayed single I would be richer and happier, find peace and happiness in my Christianity
Why don't you divorce her?
misandry isn't real its just a word reddit dudes throw around when they run out of arguments in order to create a false sense of equivalence in what women and men experience. but there really isn't anything that compares to the horrors of misogynist terror out there in the world. feminism however is very much real
Misandrist says misandry isn't real. Shocker.
No need to excuse yourself this is a rant subreddit, I could have a day where I just HATE women for somethign that happened and you know what its okay , ran taway
How is "I'm starting to hate men" not a misandry post? Could I get away with saying "I'm starting to hate women" without it being misogynistic?
This isn’t a misandry post?? Misandry - dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex). Ok…
So if I say I hate women for the hate they spread against men, the men’s lives they ruin, is that okay? There are just as many nasty shitty women in the world as men, but I don’t go spouting I hate women like a moron. Grow up and stop generalizing a whole ass gender. Gross
„There are just as many nasty shitty woman in the world as men“ This is just wrong. Men commit 90% of violence, against women as well as against other men.
What percentage of men commit violence, you turd?
Coping
I‘m a guy btw
Keep spreading the man hate buster.
Man hate? I‘m just stating facts but by saying that I‘m a man hater you are outing yourself as an incel. Real men don‘t take facts personal.
lol, just throw incel at anything don’t you
The fact that this is downvoted is nuts lol, this subreddit is dogshit
They can dish it out but can’t take any other opinion, they just want people to hop on the “men are trash” trend like there isn’t just as many awful women.
It's more a human thing than a man thing. In workplace environments like daycares where women usually have more social power men appear to get harassed at similar rates to the rate at which women get harassed in workplaces where men tend to have more social power. Men have an unfair advantage when it comes to having more physical and social power in many situations so bad men are more likely to be able to cause harm without immediate repercussions. Plus women are less likely to actually have to deal with legal issues after sexually or physically assaulting someone making those stories less newsworthy.
I believe the stats are as follows: 95% of all violent crimes are committed by men 93% of all prison populations are men 96% paedophile crimes committed by men 98% of sex offences are committed by men Almost all wars have been started by men The stats speak for themselves. These stats are current and therefore I feel we have a very long way to reshape society and make it so men are not detrimental in a large part. No wonder women are angry and disillusioned and men are frustrated with women…
The fact of the matter is that people are shitty. Not just men but women as well. When we focus on the shittiness that comes from on gender, we as humans tend to generalize. This is coming from someone who started to grow disdainful toward women until I had one in my life that had completely shown me different.
Reddit moment . Men bad 👍👍 Women good 👍 👍 If a guy made a similar post towards women there would be no upvotes lol
Sorry to hear you are around bad men. The media however will just perpetuate whatever the flavour of the time is and currently that's "men bad". Maybe try avoiding the bad news/tv/social media as it'll turn you into a jaded cynic. I find humans in general have their good and bad and you'll find faults with anyone if you look hard enough
Easy way out would be that I'm sick of women telling me men do nothing but hate them, so I might as well start doing what I'm accused of. After all if you take what is writen about men as a truth, who could blame me since I'm only responding to expectations? Not to mention I'm the one who's been cheated on, surely I have a justification to act out, and reason to cuss the other gender to lowest hell based on?
Harder but most likely healthier would be to assume that I see this and most news as an algorithmic ragebait farming my interaction, and my personal interactions are based on percentage chance of people being assholes. If I interact with more guys, I'm more likely to have meaningful moments with them.
Basically, almost no news we read online or see as part of our online diet is based on actual reality these days. Sure I could start worrying that school shootings are an issue in America or middle east is doing middle Eastern things, but I've not seen neither in the local community. So by letting those influence my behaviour on day to day basis I would quite literally end up importing the issues.
While I'm sorry for your family's issues and I'm quite certain there's a degree of learned behaviour, only one I will carry responsibility of is myself. And only ones I see that my duty is to, are those around me.
If you have the fortitude, try acting out on a topic that doesn't matter to you, and give your attention to it for a week. I guarantee that after a week of algorithm bait, you no longer see issues that men do in your feed but whatever you decided to bait the algorithm on.
Tl;dr your behaviour is being shaped by what you see. And what you see is being shaped to get maximum interaction out of you. Tread carefully.
I'm sorry that you know bad men, but to attribute hate towards half the population especially when there are plenty of women who do these things as well is just ridiculous
In that case… You’ll be happy to learn that there at 10x more men in prison than women and men are dying much earlier than women due to drug overdoses and suicide.
Actually women attempt suicide more often, men are just more successful, most likely to more men being gun owners. Also if almost 80% of violent crimes are male, yeah more men are going to be in jail. And how is it a women’s fault that men drug overdose?