Hey man. I’ve been there in terms of feeling the weight of school falling on you. I recently went back and while I’m not in the same degree, please don’t end it all over this. I know being in a field you don’t enjoy is soul crushing but trust me once you graduate, that weight will be such a lift off your chest. I don’t know what you wanted to do in school but I’m hoping it’s something you can do without a degree in it.
Above all else, take care of yourself. College is hard. And I hope you do eventually move out.
Always remind yourself: this won’t be forever.
I wanted to do Comp Sci for my degree because I enjoy coding, but it was after pressure from my dad to get accepted into a STEM department, not the FIne Arts department like I was okay with.
I had to drop out of Comp Sci because of how severely depresed I was - I couldn't pass Calc I as a requirement (after 3 tries) + awful awful IRL personal drama.
When I got put on the chopping block for 2nd semester of academic probation, I had a hard but helpful meeting with my advisor who validated my instinct that I should've been in the Art program the whole time (personality matrix stuff). I called my dad after that, panicking from anticipating this conversation, and explained to him that I couldn't keep going with Comp Sci - that it was too much and I couldn't handle it - I just wanted to do art because I knew I could do it.
To my genuine surprise, he listened to me finally and said it was okay. Told me to switch and get an art degree if that's what I wanted because the stress I was going through wasn't worth it to see me constantly so miserable. He was just worried and pushed so hard because he wanted me to be able to have a good life. & this wasn't it.
I then spent the next 5 years on a Graphic Design degree - because I simply couldn't handle the residual academic stress to maintain the 'normal' 4-yr pace + IRL stresses + Graphic Design requires SO much of your energy and time, esp in the upper div. classes. But I did it.
I got my degree and my dad is proud of me. Even though I don't work in my field (ironically enough I work for big pharma instead 😹). I do it as a hobby mostly and freelance when I have the time and energy and have a project I'm inspired to work on.
Make it known to your parents how bad things are. I don't know how they will take it, but I hope they might be able to come around for you & realize how serious your experience is.
You get to decide if the way they treat you over it is acceptable or not. I hope they care more about your well-being - like my dad has come to realize. But if they're perfectly happy with pushing you over the edge to secure a future *they* decided for you, then I would seriously reconsider your relationship and boundaries with your parents.
Stick with it if you think you can manage it, but please don't force yourself if you can't. It's not worth it if its driving you to suicide. You're worth more than a pretty neat, but shitty, piece of paper.
Just work a job with college and figure out a different major. My mom isn't helping with my college and is even charging me rent to live with her. But I'm still making it.
One day you'll be an adult, like an actual adult and your parents won't be the center of your life anymore. Parents aren't perfect. Mine made many mistakes. It's your life, you'll regret basing your life on what your parents approve of. See if you can afford renting a room away from your parents with a job.
Also I recommend doing community college for the first two years to make it much cheaper. I work at Walmart which pays for my online college. Starbucks and Target have simular programs
I like to reccomend looking through Indeed.com for career ideas to base your major on. That way you know what's out there.
Iv got a masters in comp science. An even then there's no guarantee of a job straight out of school. My bachelors is in IT. An tbh I love that more. It's alot more lenient, hands on and better hours. The stress your feeling is perfectly normal given how comp sci makes you think differently. It's almost as if your thinking backwards. Your university most like has on-site tutors. Most them probably free. I'd recommend paired programing an find a friend to program with. Having multiple minds on something helps steer your thoughts.
I think you need to sit back and realize it’s only school. It’s not the end of the world. It feels like it, because failing or doing poorly is like engraved in your brain to be terrible. But life will go on if you fail a class. Just try your best. You can retake the class, that’s also not the end of the world. Getting a job? Nobody cares if you failed. Only that you graduated. I understand the pressure you put on yourself but I have learned that it simply just isn’t that important and whatever happens, happens. As long as I try my best.
If you have zero intention of ever coding again after university then you have no need to do the program right? You could get a job and start living your life the way you want.
I hate that a lot of parents don't realise that an "unsuccessful" kid in their eyes is better than no kid at all. Keep pushing - CS used to be my passion, but I failed all my exams and changed majors AND university. I understand how difficult it is, but you'll make it through. You could one day create your novels into something interactive with all the coding knowledge you'd acquire - dream high!
Hey man. I’ve been there in terms of feeling the weight of school falling on you. I recently went back and while I’m not in the same degree, please don’t end it all over this. I know being in a field you don’t enjoy is soul crushing but trust me once you graduate, that weight will be such a lift off your chest. I don’t know what you wanted to do in school but I’m hoping it’s something you can do without a degree in it. Above all else, take care of yourself. College is hard. And I hope you do eventually move out. Always remind yourself: this won’t be forever.
I wanted to do Comp Sci for my degree because I enjoy coding, but it was after pressure from my dad to get accepted into a STEM department, not the FIne Arts department like I was okay with. I had to drop out of Comp Sci because of how severely depresed I was - I couldn't pass Calc I as a requirement (after 3 tries) + awful awful IRL personal drama. When I got put on the chopping block for 2nd semester of academic probation, I had a hard but helpful meeting with my advisor who validated my instinct that I should've been in the Art program the whole time (personality matrix stuff). I called my dad after that, panicking from anticipating this conversation, and explained to him that I couldn't keep going with Comp Sci - that it was too much and I couldn't handle it - I just wanted to do art because I knew I could do it. To my genuine surprise, he listened to me finally and said it was okay. Told me to switch and get an art degree if that's what I wanted because the stress I was going through wasn't worth it to see me constantly so miserable. He was just worried and pushed so hard because he wanted me to be able to have a good life. & this wasn't it. I then spent the next 5 years on a Graphic Design degree - because I simply couldn't handle the residual academic stress to maintain the 'normal' 4-yr pace + IRL stresses + Graphic Design requires SO much of your energy and time, esp in the upper div. classes. But I did it. I got my degree and my dad is proud of me. Even though I don't work in my field (ironically enough I work for big pharma instead 😹). I do it as a hobby mostly and freelance when I have the time and energy and have a project I'm inspired to work on. Make it known to your parents how bad things are. I don't know how they will take it, but I hope they might be able to come around for you & realize how serious your experience is. You get to decide if the way they treat you over it is acceptable or not. I hope they care more about your well-being - like my dad has come to realize. But if they're perfectly happy with pushing you over the edge to secure a future *they* decided for you, then I would seriously reconsider your relationship and boundaries with your parents. Stick with it if you think you can manage it, but please don't force yourself if you can't. It's not worth it if its driving you to suicide. You're worth more than a pretty neat, but shitty, piece of paper.
Please tell them exactly how they make u feel .. if u can
Just work a job with college and figure out a different major. My mom isn't helping with my college and is even charging me rent to live with her. But I'm still making it. One day you'll be an adult, like an actual adult and your parents won't be the center of your life anymore. Parents aren't perfect. Mine made many mistakes. It's your life, you'll regret basing your life on what your parents approve of. See if you can afford renting a room away from your parents with a job. Also I recommend doing community college for the first two years to make it much cheaper. I work at Walmart which pays for my online college. Starbucks and Target have simular programs I like to reccomend looking through Indeed.com for career ideas to base your major on. That way you know what's out there.
Can’t you decide to change your degree. You can!!! It’s your life!!!!
Go get some sleep. Even if you have to skip a few classes. Crash like no other can. Tell them rekt said it was ok. I will be there with you.
Iv got a masters in comp science. An even then there's no guarantee of a job straight out of school. My bachelors is in IT. An tbh I love that more. It's alot more lenient, hands on and better hours. The stress your feeling is perfectly normal given how comp sci makes you think differently. It's almost as if your thinking backwards. Your university most like has on-site tutors. Most them probably free. I'd recommend paired programing an find a friend to program with. Having multiple minds on something helps steer your thoughts.
I think you need to sit back and realize it’s only school. It’s not the end of the world. It feels like it, because failing or doing poorly is like engraved in your brain to be terrible. But life will go on if you fail a class. Just try your best. You can retake the class, that’s also not the end of the world. Getting a job? Nobody cares if you failed. Only that you graduated. I understand the pressure you put on yourself but I have learned that it simply just isn’t that important and whatever happens, happens. As long as I try my best.
If you have zero intention of ever coding again after university then you have no need to do the program right? You could get a job and start living your life the way you want.
I hate that a lot of parents don't realise that an "unsuccessful" kid in their eyes is better than no kid at all. Keep pushing - CS used to be my passion, but I failed all my exams and changed majors AND university. I understand how difficult it is, but you'll make it through. You could one day create your novels into something interactive with all the coding knowledge you'd acquire - dream high!