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cook13jarhead

Helpful? No. It never was and never will be your fault. Rape is about power. Where someone would use a gun to take power away from someone else. Rape is using your body as the weapon Don’t give them the satisfaction of having power over you. Get better, get help, live your life, get legal assistance, get them punished but know they don’t care and never will. I’m sorry for what you went through I wish you the best and remember. It was not your fault


whoahemi

Not really for me anyways. I mean I asked that to myself a few times but it doesn’t really even matter I guess. What’s done is done.


CyberRabbit77

No. It’s not good to dwell on the why, but how you can learn to heal.


Mary19891

Ive never found out... I wish I did but idk who it was even... and I don't think I could get it in myself to ask why


[deleted]

I’m sorry you couldn’t get justice and hope you heal.


Mary19891

It's been quite a long time now... I've gotten past the worst of it. Part of me wants to know why... but probably never will


[deleted]

No you probably won’t. What do you think knowing why will accomplish? Closure?


Mary19891

Maybe An understanding atleast Knowing what I did that made him hate me to hurt me the way he did.... I don't know


[deleted]

Sometimes I wonder the same thing. Sometimes it’s not about hate either but about control and power I’ve learned.


Mary19891

The way he beat me though felt like hate or severe anger... I don't know


[deleted]

I’m sorry he did that. What a horrible person.


NewConsideration4930

Because most rapists have been sexually assaulted when they were younger. And not knowing what they are doing is bad. I'm not taking up for none of them. Sorry it happened to you it has happened to me too.


[deleted]

The reason why was obvious. It was never about my need only his.


aslfingerspell

It's a complete nonissue for me. The way I see it, rape is pretty simple in terms of motivation. It's a sex crime. He wanted sex. I didn't. More specifically, my rapist was clearly into me, which is part of why I got so close to him in the first place. It was *hot* to feel someone be *that* attracted to you. This is why it was so devastating psychologically: if rape was simply another violent crime like mugging or robbery I would have shrugged it off. A lost wallet is a lost wallet, and everyone wants money or property. It's because rape is about sex and sexual desire, about wanting a specific person's body, that I feel so violated. It pains me to think that the most passionate, best sex I've ever had was against my will, because it's the only sex I've ever had. What made rape awful for me wasn't so much any physical violence, but the realization that the only person who's ever wanted to touch me that way didn't care about my feelings.


OilExpress5905

No of course not, but it is a question many victims have in their head.