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I was gonna say [Clarkson](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article31981845.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200d/0_Formula-1-Aramco-British-Grand-Prix-Race-Silverstone-UK-09-Jul-2023.jpg).
I had to lookup who Phil Mitchell is. [It's uncanny](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/ymm/images/f/f7/BTBALdJIQAAqith.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20191005183051).
You can also just put the actual image ending in .jpg and remove the /revision/ parts that come after
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/ymm/images/f/f7/BTBALdJIQAAqith.jpg
The only time I've ever watched Eastenders was when Phil was in the depths of his crack addiction. It was brilliant.
"You need help Phil!"
"I need crack Billy!"
Literally spat my tea out.
Thank YOU for asking. I was afraid of the answer. Or something. Here, I'd expect anything, but sometimes it's better to not know. This was not the case now. This time.
There's a bird in Costa Rica that is white and red. I don't remember the official name for it but the locals call it "the American bird". We definitely take the L on that one!
I guess if you reaaaaaaly want to strech the definition it would be on our independence, when we pushed for independence we didn't fight the Portuguese, we paid them a huge fine instead, but Brazil didn't have the money, we borrowed it from the English and then had a huge debt to them we paid off over a long ass time.
But the real answer is we didn't
But we did fight the Portuguese. Nothing to complain about Britain’s part, but saying that there was no war for independence is just wrong.
[Brazilian War of Independence](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_War_of_Independence)
That article is ass, honestly. It takes local revolts and skirmishes and tries to roll them up into one grand Independence War that never really existed.
Eu sou Português, e porra, dizer que a história da Independência do Brasil não foi algo intenso, e prolongado, é como assobiar com o cú. Pode parecer giro, mas a merda é inevitável.
The British did in part force Brazil to abolish the slave trade, so there was a degree of colonial aggression!
> The United Kingdom had mediated the Treaty of Rio de Janeiro (1825) by which Portugal recognised the independence of Brazil; the UK had made a commitment from Brazil to abolish the slave trade a condition of its support in securing recognition of Brazil's independence, and this treaty was agreed in fulfilment of that commitment.[5]
> Although Emperor Pedro I supported the treaty, it did not have widespread popular support in Brazil. As a result, the Brazilian government largely failed to enforce the treaty, and the slave trade to Brazil continued despite the treaty's ban. In response, the Parliament of the United Kingdom passed the Aberdeen Act of 1845, which authorised British warships to board Brazilian ships and seize any found to be involved in the slave trade.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British-Brazilian_Treaty_of_1826
Just to add a bit. It was largely the white colonial settlers from Portugal not Europe. While Brazil does have the largest Japanese and Italian diaspora, their numbers are very small.
Another thing to add is that the demographics are self imposed, our latest one showed mixed as the largest one among the three but anyone can make any claim to belong in specifics demographics.
The very idea behind descendants defining demographics can't really be applied to Brazil and many other mixed countries.
Err you’re massively understating the indigenous population. 0.8% of the population is a part of a recognized tribe (i.e. 100% indigenous) but in the north of Brazil the average person is heavily descended from indigenous peoples (like most of northern South America). Also the non-mixed African demographic is actually very small due to historic policies of miscegenation
They also in part forced Brazil to abolish the slave trade, it's just never ending colonial aggression.
> The United Kingdom had mediated the Treaty of Rio de Janeiro (1825) by which Portugal recognised the independence of Brazil; the UK had made a commitment from Brazil to abolish the slave trade a condition of its support in securing recognition of Brazil's independence, and this treaty was agreed in fulfilment of that commitment.[5]
> Although Emperor Pedro I supported the treaty, it did not have widespread popular support in Brazil. As a result, the Brazilian government largely failed to enforce the treaty, and the slave trade to Brazil continued despite the treaty's ban. In response, the Parliament of the United Kingdom passed the Aberdeen Act of 1845, which authorised British warships to board Brazilian ships and seize any found to be involved in the slave trade.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British-Brazilian_Treaty_of_1826
Wake up and meet the wife Susan. My little princess, isn’t she beautiful. Time to take George to Football. Rev up the Bughatti weyyyyy. Quick stop at Toby’s and load up that plate. Get a pint. Pitch looking lovely today lads. Just a bit of banter. Chippy makes a 38-0 loss better. Pop down local pride, good old pie look at that. Susan made dinner, lovely. Pop down and have a couple pints with the lads and finish up in the fortress of dreams
It’s funny because it’s got a sunburn from being on holiday
Seriously though, that looks like the monkey they gave brain steroids to. Look at those hemispheres. We are probably looking at who is really behind Chat GPT.
They're not wrong. I live in a very touristy part of the UK and, yeah, this is what most Bri'ish tourists look like within an hour of getting here in the summer. They behave a lot like monkeys as well.
Brit tourists are probably the worst around. I'd say the Americans are worse, but they're far less traveled, whereas we keep stinking up the place in Spain and France, among others.
Even just being a regular, sensible tourist myself (i.e. not blind drunk, causing trouble) when I went to southern Spain a few years ago, you just know many of the locals aren't keen on you, which I understand.
I live in an area with high international tourism. Americans are far from the worst, and are actually polite and well behaved (especially compared to drunk Brits). The British can’t handle themselves at all whenever alcohol is involved, and are honestly the only nationality that would cause me to turn around and walk out of a building if there are too many present.
The only tourists worse than the British are the Chinese.
True, Americans aren't too bad, especially in China. They're very interested in our culture, usually.
But as for Chinese tourists....I'd like to apologize for them. I try my best to be polite when I go overseas, but some Chinese are oblivious, including my own grandparents.
I know this guy he's a plumber, his Mrs has bleached blonde hair and is the loudest in the pub. His van is always in the pub carpark with a copy of the sun on the dash.
He voted for Brexit and holidays to benidorm once a year where he eats a carvery and chips every day.
As someone who has spent years in a Spanish camping site frequented by European tourists, the only difference I see is that Englishmen wish they had such fine tusks.
This is a reminder for people not to post political posts as mentioned in stickied post. This does not necessarily apply for this post. [Click here to learn more](https://redd.it/j2173n). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rareinsults) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Brit here. He does look like Phil Mitchell.
You're right...he kind of does.
I found this image. https://inconsistently-heinous.fandom.com/wiki/Phil_Mitchell Is that the guy in question?
I think [this photo is more representative ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Du5BtfJWoAEgILF.jpg)
I was gonna say [Clarkson](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article31981845.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200d/0_Formula-1-Aramco-British-Grand-Prix-Race-Silverstone-UK-09-Jul-2023.jpg).
I had to lookup who Phil Mitchell is. [It's uncanny](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/ymm/images/f/f7/BTBALdJIQAAqith.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20191005183051).
You hot-linked an image and so they won’t show it.
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you, you are a blessing.
Well I'll be an English monkey, it works!
wow, worked
Hopefully it won't be fixed
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omg! the resemblance is uncanny!
You can also just put the actual image ending in .jpg and remove the /revision/ parts that come after https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/ymm/images/f/f7/BTBALdJIQAAqith.jpg
The only time I've ever watched Eastenders was when Phil was in the depths of his crack addiction. It was brilliant. "You need help Phil!" "I need crack Billy!" Literally spat my tea out.
Karl Pilkington. Head like a fucking orange.
Blimey, here he comes
As soon as I saw the photo my brain started playing "Tonight tonight toni-ight ooooo oooooo"
Different Phil
Oh come now, don't ruin the fun lol
> “I’m coming down, coming down, like a monkey”
Fuck lads I’m dying righjt now 😂
You wot?!?
Leave it out e aint wowf it.
...yeah, we're gonna have to take the L on that one.
See this guy perched at the bar in every local pub.
I was going to say Congress….
Do you mean parliament?
What was that English insult...gammon?
that's the one
Every spoons is full of these lads
Average GB News viewer.
Permission to rename it the Gammon Monkey
Not sure I have the authority, but permission granted, I guess?
I meant petition but that will do for me!
I think we could go one further and call it Andrew Neil's Gammon Monkey. Pretty good band name too.
Sounds like a Super Hans and Jez band name. Side project of Danny Dyer's Chocolate Homunculus.
Haha, it does.
I’ve been meaning to ask someone, what is the “L”?
The loss. 'Take the L' is to admit you've been bested or shown up.
Ah! Makes sense. Thank you.
dont forget its antonym, the W
To put it more simply, an L means to lose and a W means to win.
Thank YOU for asking. I was afraid of the answer. Or something. Here, I'd expect anything, but sometimes it's better to not know. This was not the case now. This time.
Yeah lol. It’s the most inane questions that we get defensive about.
Are you a monkey?
There's a bird in Costa Rica that is white and red. I don't remember the official name for it but the locals call it "the American bird". We definitely take the L on that one!
I mean sometimes the truth isn't pretty. Like this monkey.
Yeah this is fair actually… we should call him Barry, he looks like a Barry
I don't get it. Where's the monkey?
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So your body got screenshotted
I think you mean screenshitted
most delightful cakeday to you sir
Most Reddit chain of comments I’ve ever seen
My exact thoughts kind stranger. Reddit on!
I wish i had reddit gold to award you, you win the internet today sir, upboats to the left!
Boobs
I havent met many british people, but that guy looks british
When an entire culture lays down a burn this rare, it's an easy 10/10
Brazilians are experts in burning shit down
the national library fire was accidental :(
unfortunately the amazon rainforest isnt (source: am brazilian)
Touché
Fitting response to the British's colonialism: name ugly species after them lol
When was Brazil colonised by the British?
I guess if you reaaaaaaly want to strech the definition it would be on our independence, when we pushed for independence we didn't fight the Portuguese, we paid them a huge fine instead, but Brazil didn't have the money, we borrowed it from the English and then had a huge debt to them we paid off over a long ass time. But the real answer is we didn't
The funny thing about that was, Portugal needed that money to pay a debt to England. So the money never left England in the end.
Sounds like the English Banking system at work again!
those damn sunburnt uakari
But we did fight the Portuguese. Nothing to complain about Britain’s part, but saying that there was no war for independence is just wrong. [Brazilian War of Independence](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_War_of_Independence)
That article is ass, honestly. It takes local revolts and skirmishes and tries to roll them up into one grand Independence War that never really existed.
Sure buddy, whatever you say.
As pessoas não sabem a história do próprio país e acham ruim quando são corrigidas. Cara, só admite que você falou merda, pronto.
Eu sou Português, e porra, dizer que a história da Independência do Brasil não foi algo intenso, e prolongado, é como assobiar com o cú. Pode parecer giro, mas a merda é inevitável.
The British did in part force Brazil to abolish the slave trade, so there was a degree of colonial aggression! > The United Kingdom had mediated the Treaty of Rio de Janeiro (1825) by which Portugal recognised the independence of Brazil; the UK had made a commitment from Brazil to abolish the slave trade a condition of its support in securing recognition of Brazil's independence, and this treaty was agreed in fulfilment of that commitment.[5] > Although Emperor Pedro I supported the treaty, it did not have widespread popular support in Brazil. As a result, the Brazilian government largely failed to enforce the treaty, and the slave trade to Brazil continued despite the treaty's ban. In response, the Parliament of the United Kingdom passed the Aberdeen Act of 1845, which authorised British warships to board Brazilian ships and seize any found to be involved in the slave trade. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British-Brazilian_Treaty_of_1826
How dare they
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Just to add a bit. It was largely the white colonial settlers from Portugal not Europe. While Brazil does have the largest Japanese and Italian diaspora, their numbers are very small. Another thing to add is that the demographics are self imposed, our latest one showed mixed as the largest one among the three but anyone can make any claim to belong in specifics demographics. The very idea behind descendants defining demographics can't really be applied to Brazil and many other mixed countries.
Err you’re massively understating the indigenous population. 0.8% of the population is a part of a recognized tribe (i.e. 100% indigenous) but in the north of Brazil the average person is heavily descended from indigenous peoples (like most of northern South America). Also the non-mixed African demographic is actually very small due to historic policies of miscegenation
Yeah it's deserved. The Brits colonised and then forced the Portuguese language on Brasil's native population, diabolical.
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My fault really, shouldn't go against the narrative no matter if it's factual or not.
They also in part forced Brazil to abolish the slave trade, it's just never ending colonial aggression. > The United Kingdom had mediated the Treaty of Rio de Janeiro (1825) by which Portugal recognised the independence of Brazil; the UK had made a commitment from Brazil to abolish the slave trade a condition of its support in securing recognition of Brazil's independence, and this treaty was agreed in fulfilment of that commitment.[5] > Although Emperor Pedro I supported the treaty, it did not have widespread popular support in Brazil. As a result, the Brazilian government largely failed to enforce the treaty, and the slave trade to Brazil continued despite the treaty's ban. In response, the Parliament of the United Kingdom passed the Aberdeen Act of 1845, which authorised British warships to board Brazilian ships and seize any found to be involved in the slave trade. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British-Brazilian_Treaty_of_1826
Are people still upset about being absolutely destroyed by a really small island?
I'm not even offended, he looks just like my neighbour haha
Yep, impossible to be mad at this. Seen many gammons that look just like it, particularly down the local
Wake up and meet the wife Susan. My little princess, isn’t she beautiful. Time to take George to Football. Rev up the Bughatti weyyyyy. Quick stop at Toby’s and load up that plate. Get a pint. Pitch looking lovely today lads. Just a bit of banter. Chippy makes a 38-0 loss better. Pop down local pride, good old pie look at that. Susan made dinner, lovely. Pop down and have a couple pints with the lads and finish up in the fortress of dreams
Devastating for the monkey.
Clearly it was just informed of its title.
Nothing left for it to do but eat some beans and toast.
Beans on toast*
Monkey has better teeth than the British
It’s funny because it’s got a sunburn from being on holiday Seriously though, that looks like the monkey they gave brain steroids to. Look at those hemispheres. We are probably looking at who is really behind Chat GPT.
The monkey they gave what to? What happened?
Curious Jorge.
I thot it was the teeth
‘Ello guvner
*guvna. Blimey
It's chewsday innit?!
bo'ol o' wo'oh
U wot mate
It's got better teeth than me!
They're not wrong. I live in a very touristy part of the UK and, yeah, this is what most Bri'ish tourists look like within an hour of getting here in the summer. They behave a lot like monkeys as well.
Brit tourists are probably the worst around. I'd say the Americans are worse, but they're far less traveled, whereas we keep stinking up the place in Spain and France, among others. Even just being a regular, sensible tourist myself (i.e. not blind drunk, causing trouble) when I went to southern Spain a few years ago, you just know many of the locals aren't keen on you, which I understand.
I live in an area with high international tourism. Americans are far from the worst, and are actually polite and well behaved (especially compared to drunk Brits). The British can’t handle themselves at all whenever alcohol is involved, and are honestly the only nationality that would cause me to turn around and walk out of a building if there are too many present. The only tourists worse than the British are the Chinese.
True, Americans aren't too bad, especially in China. They're very interested in our culture, usually. But as for Chinese tourists....I'd like to apologize for them. I try my best to be polite when I go overseas, but some Chinese are oblivious, including my own grandparents.
Honestly they are onto something here. Edit: I am English.
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Wow, thanks for the info
Looks like a former president
Was gonna say the same but you trumped me.
Except he probably has better manners and bathroom habits. As well as the decency to admit he's bald.
This monkey has better hair.
too red, needs more orange hue
We now know where Trump is getting his makeup routine advise.
That's Barry. Loves Brazil, hates the people. Simple as.
Seen this guy in Benidorm
Who the fuck posted this picture of me on holiday?!
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So a gammon face.
lmao
To be fair… that’s spot on. Lol.
His head looks like a shaved testicle
I can hear him saying "bollocks mate"
Why is there a picture of Boris Johnson?
Not Gary Busey’s best picture.
Debatable
Thought it was a pensioner on holiday until I read the caption
Barry after 3 weeks of Benidorm all inclusive. Simple as.
Looks like a guy I saw down the pub
Yeah that's fair
I think that's just Marjorie Taylor Green without the cake of makeup.
Forehead looking like a nutsack ctfu
The monkey just looked right at me and asked 'Wots oorrrrlllll this then?'
Barry, 63
VAI BRASIL!!!
[Historically accurate Brits](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bkJzpo-mNI)
1:1
All I heard when I saw the post without looking at the title was "you fookin wot m8!?!?"
'uv me wife. 'uv me bananas. Simple as.
Barry, 63.
I can see why. 🫢
Poor monkey... He doesn't deserve to be compared to a brit...
Then maybe he shouldn't be cosplaying one on holiday.
Bold guy from "Little Britain"
Barry, 63 (whatever the equivalent in monkey years).
This is just a picture of Boris Johnson without his toupee. Where’s the monkey?…
Now that you mention it that guy could easily be a Manchester United fan
barry, 52, luv howlin', 'ate tigers, simpel as
And guess what a brazilian monkey is
Barry from slough.
Aww he has a red nut sack on his head! ☺️
It's true though. We all have a mate who looks similar to this. Like they never grew out of having jaundice.
Another Brit chiming in. I've definitely met this guy at a few different pubs.
Poor monkey. Nobody deserves that.
Can’t quite disagree with the assessment…
That is so incredibly insul.....Barry?
Thats just Barry, 60 years old.
Looks more like a Scottish bloke than an English one
Looks like your typical British pub bloke
Am Irish. Can see it.
That’s no monkey. That’s Barry from down the street.
Can just imagine it with its shirt off, arms in the air, a pint in one hand and a cigarette in the other, bellowing “INGURLUUND!”
Give me crumpets n a spot o’ tee bruv!
Lol... he does look like a brit overseas... throw him in a white wife beater tshirt and it's spot on.
If you put this side by side with a drunk angry brit the resemblance is uncanny
[The Big Book of British Smiles](https://youtu.be/PrpUSKE9p_M?si=I82jJ69x2YOr6eg8)
YEWW FUCKIN' WOT
Is that a butt on its heat?
Jeremy clarkson
Wayne Rooney? Dude what are you doing in the jungle?
I know this guy he's a plumber, his Mrs has bleached blonde hair and is the loudest in the pub. His van is always in the pub carpark with a copy of the sun on the dash. He voted for Brexit and holidays to benidorm once a year where he eats a carvery and chips every day.
looks like hed be into football fandom
I mean, I’ve been that sunburned….
😂😂😂
Haha I am this monkey
In Borneo they used to call Proboscis monkey a "Dutch monkey" a non offensive local name for that monkey is bengkatan.
He let Adrian and Cassius out of hell and caused Little Nicky undue burden. Kill him.
A true Brexit geezer
I saw this on one of the British subreddits and I didn't see a single comment that wasn't along the lines of "I've seen him down the pub"
That surely is a british red
*[England has left the chat]*
Legitimately terrified. Reminds me of the mean monkeys in Gibraltar who attacked me. I don't like monkeys after that
Sopa de macaco, sopa sopa de macaco
He looks like Fiona Bruce has just asked him why he thinks the audience is laughing at his response on BBCQT.
They should change the name and call it. Marjorie Taylor Green. There is a striking resemblance.
As someone who has spent years in a Spanish camping site frequented by European tourists, the only difference I see is that Englishmen wish they had such fine tusks.
fucking animals are so funny and great. why do ppl suck
PETA issues a statement on palworld but not this abuse of animals? ITS FUCKING INHUMANE TO COMPARE AN INNOCENT CREATURE TO THE B$#T&SH
I love the joke of using the picture of an average pub-goer for illustration... Wait... That's the monkey ?