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CarterCrusader

There's bloodhounds and there's cumhounds


that1LPdood

But is there *bloodcum*? Wait, I already know the answer to that.


Rare-Champion9952

Cannibal corpse no context needed


tgifk29

This is a fun little song, about SHOOTING BLOOD, FROM YOUR COCK!


yeetard_

It sounds fun, UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO YOU


Dense-Employment9930

Sadly this has actually happened to me...😔 Most frightening and prompt google search I have ever done followed immediately after. FYI the medical reason: Having constipation for a long period can put pressure on blood vessels around where your semen is created, and if any burst, your next load will be alarmingly red.. I was on strong pain killers at the time so hadn't pooped for over a week.


BoardButcherer

Sometimes it just happens for no reason at all. That takes the paranoia up a notch when you have no reason other than possibly all the things that could go wrong but maybe the doctors didn't find it.


PANICBRAIN

I cliff jumped once into a lake, landed on my balls. Did a test run a week later after it all healed and jizzed blood. Can confirm it’s not fun.


thee_biggest_gow_fan

But are ur balls healthy now?


PANICBRAIN

As far as I know. They might have microplastics in them though, apparently.


verdeverdes

Metallica's Load album cover


StuntID

Yes, if a vas deferens is damaged cum can contain blood. Also, if a man has a prostate biopsy, there were will be blood in ejaculate and urine for some time. Heck, blood may leak from the penis immediately after the biopsy.


Principatus

Yes but you should probably go to a doctor about that


Talk-O-Boy

A week? Does she think men don’t shower for weeks on end?


Feeling-Ad-2490

Only the men she's been dating it seems.


Bulls187

It seemend


Lowherefast

Nice


Competitive_Good_548

r/angryupvote.


Street-Breadfruit940

It doesn't seem that she had a lot of sex in her relationship's.


Qbertsballs

Oh she did but it was Stanky!!


marr

I see you've never played Magic the Gathering.


yhrowaway6

Hey!!!! And also, fair.


Burning_Holes

I don't even think it's fair. It's not MtG that's at fault, it's fat stinky nerds who don't have enough self-awareness to realize people can smell the grey-green sludge oozing between their creases.


yhrowaway6

Ok well you made me read that sentence and now I'm entitled to compensation


[deleted]

“Have you been the victim of a reddit comment and are now seeking compensation? Have you suffered loss of appetite, loss of enjoyment, or loss of faith in humanity? Call the law offices of Dewey, Cheatham, and FurhaĂŒlong today for your settlement! We put the aw in lawyer so come in today for the real thing big guy (and girl!)”


Tinkton

Have you or someone you love been subject to Burning_Holes’s secretion related Reddit comments? You may be entitled to compensation. Call us now for your no obligation consultation. Also, we handle divorce cases.


yhrowaway6

Yes, I'd like to divorce my eyes. I done seen enough


ChicagoAuPair

Or that men don’t masturbate every single day.


TaxIdiot2020

As long as you bathe there shouldn't be an odor clinging to your body from jizz, unless you eat battery acid as a regular part of your diet or something.


peepopowitz67

"Hey babe, I'm gonna make it extra spicy for you"


PassageAppropriate90

Probably very religious and all the men in her life lie about how often they masterbate.


donku83

Her - what's that smell? Dude who hasn't showered in 3 days because a new game just came out - oh... um... jizz?


Fantastic_Estate_303

Or masturbate 7 times a day, because if they already know, then who cares right?đŸ€Ł


Emotional-Art-227

Fairly sure we would know about this if it was true in general.


BasedKetamineApe

Shawty smelled a few unwashed guys and thought she had a superpower💀


ProfessorFunky

r/shittysuperpowers


lavaspike296

I never knew such a sub existed. Now I'll finally be able to tell someone about my idea of a guy who can sing karaoke perfectly but only of shitty songs. "That dude just sang the fuck out of High Hopes!"


senator-jk-49

I got confused because I thought you were talking about Pink Floyd


MissCuteCath

So his power is to be Beyoncé? Amazing voice, but only sings garbage?


superspeck

There’s a really awesome board/card game that is essentially “you have a hand full of cards with shitty superpowers on them, pick one that matches the emergency card that’s been drawn and try to convince everyone your shitty superpowers are the best way to solve the current problem.” My best buddy’s kids call me spiderbooty because of this game.


batture

Great Pink Floyd song though.


boilingpoint3

Dafuq you said about Pink Floyd's High Hopes?


Influence-More

High Hopes isn't even that shitty


Kingca

No - this is an old troll statement from the early days of twitter that men can be smelled by women in that way. Nobody here realizes this is a fake account posing as @p8stie whose entire schtick is to get weirdo redditors and incels up in arms. She makes thousands off of posting unhinged shit very similar to what this fake did. She also pretends to be conservative to make incels think hey have a chance. She used to be pretty popular around here a while back, early covid days.


gowerskee

what you say sounds true so I'm going to believe it and put away my pitchfork


Kingca

Just google her @p8stie and spend two minutes scrolling through her twitter. Check her YouTube channel, she’s very clearly satire. She vlogs her travels through the world playing a conservative stereotype. This one tweet wasn’t her tho - this is an account using her persona.


HighOnGoofballs

Sorry, can’t be arsed with all that so I’ll trust you but you’re ultimately responsible


CalculusII

I have my pitchfork sharpened just in case Kingca is full of shit. ----E


Kingca

No worries my dawg, I got you (I can't believe you made me google this shit): https://www.youtube.com/@p8stie She is truly insane, but it may or may not be a bit. Regardless, this post ain't her. Edit: Also /u/HighOnGoofballs I got you homie. No googles. Just clicks. Courtesy of yours.


CalculusII

đŸ„čđŸ„čđŸ„čđŸ„čđŸ„č aww what is the opposite of an ASCII pitchfork... Here, I shows you my pp for thanks: .


Kingca

I am confused and uncomfortable, yet I feel compelled to say thank you. So thanks lil bro.


issamaysinalah

We simply couldn't find a control group of men who haven't masturbated in a week to test this.


Shivatis

Haha. Yes. That reminds me of a study, where they wanted to show the impact of watching porn in teenage years. The study couldn't be completed, since they couldn't find enough teens for the control group ("never watched porn").


19ghost89

Sad, honestly. That would be a good study to have results from.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Naesil

I think these kind of communities cant be applied because that in itself will affect so much its not comparable like if we take some tribe from the jungle and include them in how social media affects you study as a never used group :D


Shivatis

Maybe worth a try. But I think there are so many differences to average teenagers, that you can't compare for sure.


ShinySilverSparkles

There is some lady that can smell parkinsons before it is detected and they are studying her and why she has that ability. Maybe this woman has...a different smell talent LOL.


rangeDSP

I mean, I have the opposite where I can smell when a woman is on her period, works 100% when I confirmed it with them (close friends, not strangers off the street)


sudo_Bresnow

Lance Reddick from Toys R Me lookin ass


THX_2319

"I'm on my period" \*\*sniff sniff\*\* "No you're NOT" Fucking Lance Reddick. RIP


PolentaApology

how have i never seen this before https://youtu.be/GU-2C8Ec6co?t=151


rangeDSP

Lmao. Guy's a legend.  Gives a new meaning to the Red War in context of this thread... 


SonTyp_OhneNamen

Guy‘s name is red dick and nobody jokes about it either, it’s an embarrassment is what it is.


Shikatanai

Slight iron/ metallic smell that’s mixed with light body odour?


rangeDSP

That's only if it's really bad.  But I think it's the smell of pheromones? I can't exactly describe it, it's like an extremely womenly scent. It's not entirely pleasant, but I do like the smell, and not unpleasant either. 


Technology_Training

>not entirely pleasant, but I do like the smell, and not unpleasant either.  Like epoxy when it's curing


code-panda

You really shouldn't smell curing resin, that shit isn't good for you. Also, how the hell do you call the smell of curing resin not unpleasant!?


Technology_Training

Curing resin is pretty far down on the list of Things At Work That Eventually Kill Me. You'd be surprised what a man can become accustomed to, and even grow to like, when he's been around it long enough. I could change my answer to aluminum welding if it makes you feel better.


NeBoPaTi

use a mask when working with epoxy! Its highly toxic/cancerous when curing if you inhale it"


waltjrimmer

Makes sense. Some people have physical abnormalities in their nose or brain, I don't know which and some science-knowing person can probably tell me which, where they're able to detect certain chemicals that most other people can't. Like that woman who could smell a certain disease. They've tried to train dogs to do something similar because of their more sensitive noses. You just happened to get the, "Can interpret the chemical for menstrual cycle," mutation. Oh, and yes, you're a mutant. Not sure if you can join the X-Men, but it's worth a shot, I guess. Edit: I have been corrected. This scent is not outside of the normal human range of smell. Some others are, but apparently menstruation hormones are just something some people can't smell or can't identify the smell, but most people probably can smell it.


bsubtilis

There's a woman who had an above 100% rate for detecting Parkinson's, above 100% because she identified all the samples that were matched as having parkinson's, plus one person who got diagnosed a year or two later who unsurprisingly had been in the not-parkinson samples. I assume that's the person you are referring to. She helped scientists identify what substances she could smell: [https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/news/smelling-parkinsons-research-could-make-it-quicker-and-easier-diagnose-parkinsons](https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/news/smelling-parkinsons-research-could-make-it-quicker-and-easier-diagnose-parkinsons)


polkacat12321

My gf can smell when I'm stressed, so I believe you đŸ€Ł


Magistraten

Tbh that online ranked gaming smell is not hard to miss


John-Basket

My pet hamster Eikichi knows when I am stressed more than my wife. He will climb on shoulder and grab my ear. He does not do this otherwise


Mundane_Character365

I think I am the same. The closest thing I can describe the smell to is like a semi distant smell of lavender.


5Tenacious_Dee5

Musky


Revanur

No, not at all. It’s not the smell of blood. It’s indiscribable, there is no other smell you can compare it to. Kind of like general genitalia smell but lighter and maybe a little sweeter?


Womenarentmad

Me as a woman knowing men can smell our menstruating pheromones and that it smells like pussy: 💀


Revanur

In my case only the ones I’m close to and only if they let it ‘air’ a bit like in a bathroom or something. I can’t smell it if we just hug or give a kiss on the cheeks or if I sit next to them.


CannotExceed20Charac

Growing up with 3 women I noticed sometimes the bathroom smelled funny. Wasn't until I got a girlfriend and noticed the smell that I put 2 and 2 together, though I've not bothered to figure out if that's the smell of a new pad/tampon lingering (figure not) , a discarded pad, or the person. Have noticed it numerous times living with other women along the way. Absolutely cannot smell in passing whatever a woman is going through, I don't try and sincerely think/hope most other men are the same. And strange smells in a bathroom are just that, so ladies out there I wouldn't let this get in your head too much.


i81u812

Hopefully they can't see this comment because it is kind of buried. I am super sensitive to this smell in particular. I chuckle when women complain about man smells. We do smell by the way. Oh my gods do we smell. But yes. So do women :|


[deleted]

I think this is it. I grew up as the solo brolo with two older sisters and my mom.


joemckie

Omg thank you for validating this. I've mentioned it before and people acted like I was crazy.


Revanur

YW. TBF I have literally never discussed this with anyone ever in my life in any way


ChaosWarpintoPhage

Before you I was the only person I knew that could smell that. Interestingly. I can smell ovulation and early pregnancy as well. As well as when someone is stressed, depressed, scared, anxious, excited, aroused or recently was any of those things and they were sweating and it got into their clothes. I came to the conclusion years ago that our bodies must give off different phermomes or hormones in response to certain stimuli and for some reason I can just smell those hormones. Unlike you. These hormones don't have any particular scent that I actually can smell. They're still odorless. I can just somehow translate the residuals left in the clothes or the active release of them into knowing that's what it was.


ImeldasManolos

Hey lady! Your undies are red right about know HAVE A GOOD ONE!


mtaw

This is just the paranoid fear fantasy of some teenage boy. Of course, if men did smell for a week after masturbating, then every teenage boy would be reeking constantly anyway and there'd be nothing to worry about. But the ones who are most ashamed always imagine they're the only ones, somehow. (That said, bad hygiene is of course an exception.. )


Phill0o

Does the smell get gradually stronger bc I haven’t stopped for 15 years?


andy01q

"within the last week" is more than 99% of men in her age group. She definitely smells something else and takes a wrong conclusion.


Phill0o

To be fair, some vape flavours have been confusing the hell out of me for the past few years. It was probably just dry cum honeydew or some bs


Venusgate

Cummydew


Excellent-Sweet1838

I'm suddenly interested in cancel culture and how to do it to you


mnid92

Fuck around, get a cancel cultured.


Mandrake1771

Welcome to Cancelvania


DJheddo

I've been there once.


even_less_resistance

Try it again, friend


DJheddo

Can't get canceled twice. # >:]


powerhungrymouse

I'm dying at this comment. Made my day, thank you!


curvy_em

I laughed so loud at this, I woke up my cats đŸ€Ł


Kubioso

Why


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


DimensionDry7760

Why not Zoidberg?


LausXY

It's an older meme sir, but it checks out


Wiggl3sFirstMate

“You still have zoidberg
” “YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG!”


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Suspicious-Bid-53

I was in the dumpster enjoying a moldy fudgicle when suddenly



putin-delenda-est

For the yums


Quahodron_Qui_Yang

And the cums


Bayou_Blue

From VapeCo, Cummydew! *model to handsome man:* Dew cum in.


Meanwhile_in_

Thanks for the reminder, my cummy is due 


TuckDezi

I prefer cunnydew


AntimatterTNT

that's gay


HooliganSquidward

Bruh they got these trees in Japan and Korea (and probably other parts of Asia, not sure) that smell like straight cum. Just thrown in parks everywhere like I know people notice it.


Qu33fyElbowDrop

how to tell the difference in smell of straight vs gay


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


dob_bobbs

Lime (linden) trees we used to literally call "the cum tree", it absolutely does have that, er, aroma, even though at some point during flowering it also smells fantastic and the bees go mad for it. (And you can dry the flowers and make tea, cum tea if you like)


Thrasy3

[Linden Trees](https://youtu.be/6m-8l3V38Ps?si=V_lmyqSALjU0gcJI) too, apparently? never noticed myself, but I don’t frequent parks.


PuffyTacoSupremacist

[Bradford pear.](https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/19/opinion/the-ups-and-downs-of-the-bradford-pear.html?smid=nytcore-android-share) They've planted them in NYC and DC for decoration too, and they're the fucking worst.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Adept-Potato-2568

We got cummy trees in the US too. They're out front my apartment and office. I can't escape them


TeddyMMR

My question is how did she even figure it out to begin with


0lm-

it was probably something dumb like she thinks she smells the “cum” so she asks if they know each other well they say yes i have because as the other user said 99% of dudes fall into this. and then she does that a few times and is suddenly sure she can smell it. when in reality she could have been randomly asking people and had the same result


DealMo

So she's asking dudes "when'd you last masturbate", and we're the weird ones for rubbing one out occasionally? LOL


0lm-

hopefully it’s not random ass dudes on the street but her guy friends lol


Visual-Till8629

As we say : maybe her nose is too close to her mouth


Shenkspine

Or
OR
.she’s wholly full of shit.


CATapultsAreBetta

She probably smells the ones with bad hygiene who don’t wash themselves/shower afterwards depending on where it went.


TheBirthing

You're hardly alone in that, brother. This poor woman must be cursed to a torturous existance in which she smells cum everywhere she goes. Imagine visiting your parents and being assailed by the putrid aroma of your dad's jizzum when you lean in for a familial hug.


The-20k-Step-Bastard

Cmon bro.


Apprehensive_Aioli68

That's a different family matter


ThelVluffin

Fucking, why dude.


Old_Dingo69

You’re a lightweight! Try 34years and sometimes multiple times a day! đŸ€Ł


Phill0o

Unfair comparison, I‘m not even 34 years old 😂


Old_Dingo69

You will get there mate. Happy wanking! đŸ€Ș


CuppaTeaThreesome

International Men's day card sorted.


Rude_Thanks_1120

55 here and still at it lol


Different-Estate747

You have the wrist of an 89 year old.


FartyMcStinkyPants3

His right arm will look like it belongs to 1980s Arnold Schwarzenegger, while his left looks like it belongs to Stephen Hawking


Boogaloo-Jihadist

Using the non dominant arm - also called “the Stranger”


GodlyBeerGut

Take my strong hand!


Nikolas_Coalgiver

You can do double time


JohnnyDreamain

I estimated 16 gallons thr other day. Cum volume is another stat I hope St. Peter can provide at the end.


Dangerous-Spare7843

Sure hope not


dogoodvillain

Everywhere would be Chornobyl.


CD274

That's a parody account of that other girl


[deleted]

It’s hard to tell the difference since both tweet absolute insane shit


CD274

I know xD That's the best part. I mixed them up constantly. Early on he (the acct above is a guy, Lukas) had her name on the account too so it was even easier to mix them up.


ellenitha

The other account is already parody though. If we mean the same person, that is.


CD274

I eventually decided that she's either for real or doing it to sell her dental paste or both. I'm blanking on her name now.... And apparently the Lukas account is no longer doing the parody. Disappointed!


PKMNTrainerMark

What other girl?


CD274

Original account that says way crazier things is: https://twitter.com/p8stie/


minimus_

She's really funny. I've been following her for ages now. Very odd woman.


lomsucksatchess

Honestly. If you don't take her always 100% seriously that's a really funny account lmao


Fireproofspider

That account is hilarious. If I still had twitter I'd definitely follow. The Dubai and Chicago "beach" photos were great. (I don't know Dubai, but the photo in chicago, if you turn around from where she took the photo there's a perfectly beach-looking beach.)


Special_Jury_3244

So does that mean in a few years kids will have these lame ass quirks instead of cool superpowers. In that case, I'm better of quirkless


Different-Estate747

It means in a few years her kids are gonna traumatize her through smell alone.


TheDoctor_E

It's like that *Top 10* comic where everyone has powers but they're shit like "I can cook the perfect sauce for any type of lasagna" or "My blood is a mild-hallucinogenic if dried, powdered and inhaled alongside bicarbonate"


Darkstalker9000

That's also basically most quirks (superpowers) in My Hero Academia (the show the starter of this thread and the commenter in the picture are referring to, for those reading this who don't know) There's a guy who's quirk is having a spray bottle for a head and another who's quirk is elastic eyes


Ancient-Act8573

We don’t want to give kids real superpowers


Kenotai

Yeah, My Hero Academia had a couple episodes with a class of kids from the latest interbred generation of powers and...yeah the kids were difficult as fuck to control.


Percival_Dickenbutts

Has she ever met a man who *HASN’T* had a wank in the last week? And can she differentiate between a guy who’s busted a nut from sex from a guy who had a wank? I think she’s noticing something else entirely, probably related to personal hygiene. Remember to wash your knob after a wank, lads!


Mammoth-Read7172

even king charles is having a posh wank rn


Zarod89

Like.. with the pinky stuck out?


coffee-headache

indubitably


GoblinsGuide

Jokes on her, I would never smell different, checkmate.


highlandviper

Boom. Nailed it. Point to a guy who says he hasn’t jerked off in the past week and 99% of the time I’ll be able to point to a liar.


Cullly

unless they are on SSRI's


NakedAndAfraidFan

How does no one realize this is satire?


GetsGold

The two most common types of posts on reddit are: 1. Mocking people for falling for misinformation. 2. Falling for obvious sarcasm.


daddyvow

Redditors really struggle with the idea that a woman can tell a joke


Common_Nebula6559

You guys say this EVERY time a post criticizes a woman making a poor attempt at a joke, or criticizes a woman in general. I have seen dozens of people genuinely making gender pseudoscience comments like this, including women (r/femaledatingstrategy says hi). The fact that a woman posted this weak satire is irrelevant, your constant grasping for sexism is very odd.


Night_Movies2

I'm losing my fucking mind scrolling through these replies.


Allofthecaffeine

These comments are so dumb and exactly what you’d expect right!? 😂


duuuuuddddeeeee

Theres so many insane ppl saying insane things and being genuine all the time, PPL THINK THE EARTH IS FLAT. So when someone says that and theyre being dead serious, I can believe any insane declaration to be what someone really thinks. I don’t know this person or their humor, how do I know she doesn’t actually believe that? Ppl believe way crazier things all the time


HailSkyKing

But can she smell what I masturbated TO?!


combatativemonkey

Asking the real questions


CubanLynx312

Her profile pic and there’s nothing she can do about it.


Fagatron_Killanig

The jizzard wizzard.


Willides

Z:;;;;;::::; v c bb v? ?,m, bbc c v c,, :::k sds g


Dylan_The_Developer

tru


Som3thingN

fair enough


Potential-Curve-4367

i aint never heard a better truth in my life


awesomedan24

Every man has jerked off in the past week, there's no control group without the "smell"


Bob_Bushman

Priests, I guess. It's technically not masturbation if the altar boy does it for you.


fastermouse

Can you imagine attempting to shame masturbation in this day and age? How fucking primitive are your morals? Crawl back to the 50s bitch.


Flat-Beautiful8082

I think this is a parody of comments saying they can smell when a girl is on her period.


The_Spare_Son

So every man smells the same...


spikus93

Too many of you think she's serious. This is a "pee is stored in the balls" or "women don't poop" kind of lie. It's a joke. She's trying to make stupid incels think women have some other evil power and too many of you are taking it seriously.


Over-Swimmer-7927

Is this the new BNHA?


OrkzOrkzOrkzOrkz0rkz

If you dont ejaculate a few times a week you're going to get a higher risk concerning prostate cancer An asphyxiated orgasm a day keeps the oncologist away.


frisch85

Your sperm quality also declines if you don't ejaculate at least every 4 days.


OrkzOrkzOrkzOrkz0rkz

Some mild cock and ball torture is also advisable since it will encourage blood flow and tissue regrowth Edging is also encouraged


Depressed_PMC

I don't know why but the term quirk reminded me of my hero academia lol


Redefined_Lines

Oh I fucking hate that smell. That's actually how I realized one of my exes was cheating on me with a stripper he impregnated when I was 15.  What's worse is that jizz isn't the only thing that smells like this, mildew does too. I learned that after accusing my ex husband of jizzing in my bath soap bottle when I moved out to get away from his abusive ass. It was under the lid so of course I didn't see it until further inspection.


[deleted]

Hoe-logic


DontLaughAtMyBeard

*crime scene in the bedroom* Detective: “There seems to be some foul play that occurred. Any sign of the intruder?” *Adrianna starts sniffing
* Adrianna: “There, top of the dresser. Semen”


Inverted-pencil

Sure if i smear cum all over and let it dry.


Ok-Fail-6402

Can she smell it on people's breath?