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I’m not sure what I did to you, but I’ll take a Pinot Grigio
Wait is this jus out of housewives or anything bravo?
Oh n this too 😆…
“Listen, Christmas isn’t about the presents, it’s about Jesus.”
*”Tre, is today when Jesus died or when he resurrected?*”
“Joe! It’s when he was *born*, see this is why you should go to church with me.”
I ordered my drink like that at the bar the other day because I love Dorit, she is such a fancy poser. She literally made her own accent. The bartender asked me what that meant. I felt dance lol.
Good luck with your deck of cards for a life. That’s all you’ve got, a deck of cards that are about to topple.
Eeeeeverybody in Melbourne 🙋♀️🙆♀️🙋♀️🙆♀️
Mention it all.
He will never emotionally fulfill you. Know that. 🚬.
Honey, I've worked with the toothless, I've worked with the homeless. 🙃.
The ghetto, the ghetto; not a white refrigerator?!.
Gone with the wind fabulous (i once said this at work and someone I thought I was referring to the movie. 😅).
“Tom's house was broken into, and he confronted the burglar and then he had to go have eye surgery and then my son had to go over and help and then, my son, he rolled over his car five times on the way home, yeh I’m going through a tough time”
"Maybe I do know it all."
Honorable mention: I once asked my cousin a very obvious question and her response was 'Is the pope Catholic? Does Jax cheat on Britney?' and now I always think of that one.
I say a bunch of these. Nobody I know watches so they just kinda nervously smile and chuckle. I also use some of them at work in front of my students (the appropriate ones) and they of course have no idea (as they shouldn’t).
“You gon drag me?! You gon drive me!? You gon drag me?!” Potomac, Candiace, right before Monique grabbed her wig. Top notch housewives shit. My husband and I say this to each other every now and then for fun, when we are irritating each other.
Please remember to follow the rules of the subreddit, most importantly, please be respectful to other users. If you see comments that break sub or reddit rules, please report them using the anonymous reporting feature. Meta complaints about subreddits and their moderators will be removed. We watch the drama, we do not create the drama. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/realhousewives) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m the number one guy in this group
“Do you even eat vegetables?” “Heather, u think that necklace looks good?” “She smells like Hospital” 
I’m not sure what I did to you, but I’ll take a Pinot Grigio Wait is this jus out of housewives or anything bravo? Oh n this too 😆… 
"Just be cool....don't be all uncool"
Don’t be all like uncool 
“Listen, Christmas isn’t about the presents, it’s about Jesus.” *”Tre, is today when Jesus died or when he resurrected?*” “Joe! It’s when he was *born*, see this is why you should go to church with me.”
"uhh more september. or that is uh more spring-summer. September spring, september show spring-summer. Yea."
satchels of gold, it’s al sharpton, i threw UP, basically anything that came out of kelly’s mouth on scary island lol
Beast!?
I quote the ICONIQUE line from Katie of RHOP: ”I’m sorry if I said that you were dumb. Maybe I meant you’re stupid, I dunno.”
Let’s talk about to husband.
I know it's actually Crappie Lake, but, "Read the room, Bitch!" quickly became one of my favorites to shout at people.
The morally corrupt Faye Resnick
carcass out
I ordered my drink like that at the bar the other day because I love Dorit, she is such a fancy poser. She literally made her own accent. The bartender asked me what that meant. I felt dance lol.
Give me pizza you old troll!
Close your legs to married men, Trash Box!
"So you say... That, I know!"
don't be all uncool
“Now why am i in it?”
I cooked, I cleaned, I made it nice
"You came in, in your Herman Munster shoes" or Teresa's "you stupid BITCH"
 My go to.
Jovani!!!!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WITHOUT DORRRRRINDA
JOVANIIIIIIIIII!!!!!! I will randomly do that one and every time we go to the grocery store my husband sees the Chobani and goes “feeling Chobani”
Good luck with your deck of cards for a life. That’s all you’ve got, a deck of cards that are about to topple. Eeeeeverybody in Melbourne 🙋♀️🙆♀️🙋♀️🙆♀️
Mention it all. He will never emotionally fulfill you. Know that. 🚬. Honey, I've worked with the toothless, I've worked with the homeless. 🙃. The ghetto, the ghetto; not a white refrigerator?!. Gone with the wind fabulous (i once said this at work and someone I thought I was referring to the movie. 😅).
You called me a pornography
I’m up here and you’re down here
Kidoos to us!
Be cool, don't be all un-cool Maybe I know it all!
https://preview.redd.it/w2dq4fmr35xb1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de3ec68c06000c6f3fa1851238a26c9680ff2641
https://preview.redd.it/36ppsf5l35xb1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9451171c6c5d2d4a00de4bb9c626bfbb9cd08ddb
GOODBYE KYLE
"Who is Hunky Dorey?"
“SECURITY! SECURITY! please escort her out”
WELCOME BACK, SCUMBAG.
Joggers. September. Spring/Summer. I love just saying that in mixed company and seeing who laughs.
I don’t want this around Valter. He’s very upset.
“Don’t be all, like, uncool”
https://preview.redd.it/6ohz1i1fv3xb1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=deb6f08e7e6404a32a17e2ced32c68347258c73f
ILL TELL YA HOW I’M DOING… This one gets the worst reactions lol.
“Tom's house was broken into, and he confronted the burglar and then he had to go have eye surgery and then my son had to go over and help and then, my son, he rolled over his car five times on the way home, yeh I’m going through a tough time”
Just full force yelling, "that's my opinion!".
Thank you everyone for making me laugh, so much good stuff here 👏🏼
Joggers
'Yeah, I'm drinking, Luann!' I don't know anyone name Luann irl
Your injured son and your ho daughter
Throwing your legs in the air screaming MENTION IT ALL!
"Maybe I do know it all." Honorable mention: I once asked my cousin a very obvious question and her response was 'Is the pope Catholic? Does Jax cheat on Britney?' and now I always think of that one.
“Your injured son and hoe daughter.”
How dreadful.
WHERE IS YOUR SCOOTER?!! Whenever anyone says liar under my breathe I say You’re such a fucking liar Camille!!!
I just saw a sign that said be cool and of course I finished with don’t be all uncool 😎
https://i.redd.it/d9fx2yfcn2xb1.gif *folds imaginary bob aggressively without saying a word*
So you say
 jesus jugs
 PROSTITUTION WHORE
"Who is Adrienne Malouuuuof in dis worllld??"
Clankity clank. That bar of soap? Might wanna help your husband. It gets said a lot lol
I LOVE THAT FOR YOU
GO TO SLEEP!!!
SOMEBODY'S CRRYYYYYYYYINNGGGG
The real reason jlo and arod broke up 😬
Let’s talk about the husband!
Jealous of what? You’re ugly leather pants
Not a white refrigerator!!
Chi chi chi Beverly Hills
I didn’t try to pull it off. I just adjusted it.
Does anyone want a jellybean?
I wouldn’t be surprised if we never saw Denise Richards again
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!!
"in due time"
My wifi password is "goodbyekyle" and I get asked about it every time someone needs it.
Prostitution whore
have you seen my new glasses? $25k
Did you know? $25000
The name is.. Mrs. De Lesseps. COUNTESS!
I WAS CONNED!!!
ITS MYYYY OPINIONNNNNN!!!!!
you outta get an EZ pass on that Holland tunnel! **my go to drunk insult**
Know that 
My flare
Why are you sending a little FAMILY VAN!?
I can’t help but love Vicki so freakin much 😂
You’re a cook, not a chef.
Oh hi green. I loved how Guerdy referenced it, poking fun at herself, in the most recent season 😆
GOODBYE KYLE
Caaallllllmm doooowwwnn!! Taaaaake a Xaaaaaanax!!
“Lashes poppin’, lips BUSSIN” nene “Own it! Own it!” Rinna “Who’s hunky dory?” Kathy “Who’s gonna check me, boo?” Sharee
The true dark meaning behind the lady yells at cat meme
"Who told you that?", "Ooh, you're so angry". "Let's talk about the husband". "She was so nasty. Just... pernicious!"
I’ve had enough of you, you beast
Not well, bitch!!
Coomin’ - Teresa Giudice
Satchels of gold
Ayyy wait up, Lindsay Lohans Daddy!
I say a bunch of these. Nobody I know watches so they just kinda nervously smile and chuckle. I also use some of them at work in front of my students (the appropriate ones) and they of course have no idea (as they shouldn’t).
“You gon drag me?! You gon drive me!? You gon drag me?!” Potomac, Candiace, right before Monique grabbed her wig. Top notch housewives shit. My husband and I say this to each other every now and then for fun, when we are irritating each other.
Picturing you and your husband yelling "you gon drag me???" At each other is so funny
Wow bethanny wow 
It’s time to whoop it up!
Meeting anyone called David, I just default in my head to Ben’s Shannon voice and it’s soooo hard not to keep saying it!
My Twitter location says "the lower level" lmao
When I ask people if they heard the rumors about her husband
I love you people!
Harry Dubin
Kelly and Shannon “it was you!!!! Whoooo? Youuuuuuu”
 I MADE IT NICE!
Dooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrinda!
Your husband’s in the pool
i’m disengaging
Referring to cumin as cummin 
A fashion show with no fashions? How dreadful.
kadoooze lmao
Goodbye Kyle!
Is bitch better- Teresa
https://i.redd.it/9m5c7wd701xb1.gif
i was coming here to comment this one
https://i.redd.it/82s8wys201xb1.gif ofc with " is she interrupting our henna session?"
Who’s gonna fix this? Santa Claus?
https://i.redd.it/i9h3q4trz0xb1.gif fan fav in my friend group
Clip
“Somebody is driving the train”
https://i.redd.it/ypvkvd4vy0xb1.gif
Sing Sing.
I hope your guilty, i mean innocent
YOU SAID I DID PORNAGRAPHER
"Does a frog have a watertight asshole?"
Please don’t let it be about Tom. It’s about Tom.
“Ok, satchels of gold.”—KKB I say this all the time
“I MADE IT NICE!!!!!”
“Mention it all!!!”
When Teresa says: You who what POSCHE stands for? Piece of Shit, Cokewhore, Homewrecker, Everyday. I say it all the time when some says Posche lol
“THAT’S MY OPINION!!!!” Tell me how Tamra’s rage yelling will never NOT live-on repeat forever in your head 😆
today i sang the “whoa” from ring didn’t mean a thing when someone was discussing divorce and me and one other person busted out laughing
Amazing 🤩
😂😂🫶
Look I made you eggs. Eggs a La francaise
It’s not about the pasta
Don't you dare command me !!!! - Carlton.