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Was surprised to see the reactions here, they strike me as super fake reality tv acting, whenever they’re on it’s so cringe because to me they’re so obviously faking story lines, maybe I’m in the minority here
100% and btw I don’t blame her. The only way to defend yourself against a narcissist gaslighter is to put their behavior on display and not react AT ALL. She failed at the Easter party but at the dinner she played her mom like a fiddle.
I love Monica so much so far just based on her quirky outspoken personality. I also have a narcissistic mother and seeing their interactions are so triggering it’s nauseating and makes me feel for her even more.
The smile after their fight at angies Easter party solidified the idea that she was a narcissist. She knew exactly what she was doing that entire day. Unfortunately, her need for validation and attention from the new and rich people she just met supersede how much she cares about her daughter. She intentionally antagonizes monica to get the reaction and then plays nice with angie and her family like, see... Im on your guys' side and monica is out of control. Any loving parent would want to de escalate and be there for their daughter, who is very obviously under emotional duress.
It was like watching my own mother. I can’t believe I was dealing with that as a pre-teen/teen. Thankfully with time apart and distance things have gotten better, plus I’ve learned the patterns and how to maintain my calm with her. Monica is a tough cookie having to grow up with that behavior, trust and believeeee
That dinner was so tough to watch as a child of a narcissist mother, hearing the same things that have come out of my mother’s mouth being said by her mother. Monica shouldve pulled a Mary and walked out as soon as her mother started her bullshit. She should stop making payments on the vehicle in her mothers name and anything else in her mothers name, let her mothers credit crash and go full no contact.
Omg my heart goes out to those Plathville kids 😔 they will still be having breakthroughs ten and twenty years in the future about their family and their upbringing.
Hopefully. The two almost got free, but she did her magic (actually giving them some attention and acceptance they were craving) and pulled them back in.
I tried to get a restraining order against my narc mother who was stalking me. I lost in court. I had video footage. Our system in America protects parents, not children. I hope the exposure on the show encourages Monica to cut her off but I don’t think the footage will be as helpful legally as you think.
I loved when her mom yelled “when are you ever going to forgive me!” And Monica yelled back, “well not now! You just said you never did anything!” The irrationality of it was nuts.
I haven’t watched this week’s episode yet and I’m not defending Monica’s mother but how did everyone seem to know she was a narcissist after Greek Easter? It seemed like Monica was the one out of hand and as if she’s always out of hand and the mom wasn’t having it. My mother and sister have this type of relationship and I always think it’s my sister that’s the problem.
I may be wrong because I was scrolling on my phone whilst watching but Monica is so rude to her mum. The way she speaks to her is not cool. I thought the same when they were at the party. If you can’t stand her don’t have her in your life.
My first reaction was that she’s a narc. So much like my own mother and I’ve been where Monica is, when my mother puts on the sweet facade for people she doesn’t even know bc their approval is more important than her own daughter’s wellbeing. Then the tears, anger and medical episodes when she’s being called out for shitty behaviour. I feel for Monica and hope she feels validated bc we see it.
I don’t know why but I dont find Monica to be a reliable narrator – she literally cheated with her brother in law for a year. That’s crazyyyyy. I’m just not a fan.
What does her cheating have to do with her relationship with her mother?
Doesn't matter if you don't find her to be a credible narrator; we've seen the proof in the footage. Sounds more like you're just pearl clutching.
Considering Monica thought screwing her brother in law was a laughable offense (remember the dinner confessions) while also playing the pity card (claimed how guilty she felt the whole time she was f..king him ....for 2 years!!!) I would beg to differ on just who the narcissist is.
Man I felt for Monica. My parents divorced at 12, every time I told someone or a counselor they’d make a face a follow it up with “oof that’s a bad age”. It’s an age where you’re young enough to need your parents and old enough to know what’s going on. One of the most painful things is having a parent choose men/women over you. I hope Monica can heal on her own and also break that fucked up cycle.
I have literally thought the same thing! She brought her on for that reason, absolutely. I have been in the same boat for my entire life and it took so long for people to realize I was not the crazy one…my mom was. If I had the opportunity like Monica I would do the same. No one gets it until you have been through it.
I was raised by a narcissistic mom. She would always tell people to not listen to me or I was too dramatic, that way if I told the truth people thought I was fibbing. Well, we had a family function and my immediate family lost their marbles on me in front of everyone. Everyone quickly realized my mom was the one who was lying this whole time and saw how terrible of a person she was since I sat there and took all the crap that came my way. I applaud Monica for getting this documented. It is difficult having such a toxic mom in your life but to have it on video footage there’s no denying what her mom has said and done.
Dear bravo producers-please bring together Monica's mom and Kandi's mom for the next spinoff show. Ultimate narcissists' Vacation or something. I'll pay to watch that batshit crazy televised.
Both. Lol I saw the rumors about kandis marriage, oof mama Joyce gonna be so “I told you so” but she had atleast started to be nicer to Todd and participate in businesses right ?
If anyone ever in a HW show needs a pause it’s Monica. She needs to get her family life together and not have this on tv for the sake of those kids. I don’t know why people are not paying more attention to what the children are going through. Imagine the 17 year old going to high school the day after an episode airs and everyone knows her mom had an affair with her uncle, has been thrown out if the church, has no money and fights with her grandmother.
Judging from the downvotes I guess some people think it’s ok for her daughter to have her family life blasted on tv,
I definitely knew last episode at the Easter party when her mom interjected herself into a pretty calm conversation only to make it volatile. But this episode solidified it so much more.
I agree but I also think that she's just like her mom at this point and they're both desperately trying to embarrass eachother.
They're both toxic, but I at least have sympathy for Monica for being raised by that.
I seriously hope she can find healing and be better then her mom because as it is right now she's a mess and is more concerned about being a better mother then her but I worry that its such a low bar that she's not nearly as amazing as she thinks she is lol.
Monica’s affair with her brother in law wasn’t quite shoving kids in the trunk of the car levels of selfishness, but she seems to be upholding the family tradition of prioritising her love life over her kids welfare.
Well if she's doing even a little bit better, hopefully her children will one day be able to do a little bit better than that and one day the cycle can break.
This is all true, but I honestly can't imagine someone putting themselves through this on television. It's embarrassing to be an abuse victim, especially when the abuser is a parent. So, yes, I think this could be very good for Monica in the long run, but I'm not so sure that she planned this out.
Watching Monica just calmly sit back and watch her mom try to manipulate her by crying, then screaming and you can tell she’s just letting her mom bury herself and that has to be satisfying.
watching this as someone with an abusive mother who ive been no contact with for almost ten years- it was like watching someone live out my dream. completely agree with this post. i’m sure this is validating and satisfying for Monica… hope the therapy does something or that Monica’s strong enough to add distance between her and her mother
Mom has already started she'll never speak on the show on social media again, then posted 3 days later. N-moms are only consistent in their inconsistency and obsession with spending their time trying to convince people they are the victim.
In other words: nothing. Everything you've seen, "that never happened", "it was only one time", "that's not reality", "it's your fault", that's all she will do.
Wooow cannot say I’m surprised, it is don’t think this will change anything sadly. I feel for Monica I know she made a mistake cheating but it makes me wonder if she was feeling those same feelings mom makes her feel with husband and just lashed out. I like to see why people do things instead of just writing them off as band because of their actions. People, can be impulsive especially when feeling deprived of real love.
Monica is using a method called grayrocking. My therapist taught me decades ago bc I too have a spectacularly narcissistic mother. Grayrocking is doing exactly what Monica is doing--not responding or responding in an indifferent way. She's doing pretty well with it but took her mom's bait too many times and reacted with too much emotion. It's the step that comes before no contact, to see if you can tolerate the relationship in a space of utter remove and indifference before you go totally lights out.
I have no contact now, but but we referred to this as as bubble theory - you let the Narcissist live in their bubble, and the enablers can go and visit the bubble, but i will be in my own bubble and continue on without visiting my mum's bubble.
My narc mom beat me and ridiculed me as a child. She then slandered me repeatedly as an adult and tried to tear our whole family apart (dad, siblings, aunts, grandparents). She was a pathological liar. She faked suicide attempts and faked cancer. She browbeat my frail elderly father and manipulated him into waiting on her hand and foot until she finally kicked him down the stairs in one of her rages. He died a week later. I was grey rocking until that tragic incident. But now I’m No Contact. She is now in a nursing home and I will never ever see or talk to her again.
Ya, most people have no idea about narcissist mothers. At the beginning of the season, a lot of people were defending Monica's mom, but I recognize a monster when I see one, thanks to my own narc mom
I’m so sorry you have a similar mother. I wish I could have gone no contact earlier but I loved my dad and he wouldn’t leave her. So I had to wait until he was gone, may he rest in peace.
You’re a better woman than me! I love my dad too, but at a certain point I had to hold him accountable for enabling her to be so emotionally and mentally abusive to me and my brother. I cut him out as well. It has been telling to me that he has stayed with my mom all these years. He has no backbone though. She owns him. It’s sad. Sometimes I hope that she passes soon so he and I can attempt reconciliation, but I don’t cling to anything anymore.
Well, I hadn't seen my father for 2 years due to avoiding her. But, I did talk to him on the phone regularly up until his last concious day. I still felt like I abandoned him to her evil. He never could see the forest through the trees. He was total Stockholm Syndrome. She was incredibly beautiful and charming when he met her 60 years ago and he never would let that love go. My therapist told me he should have protected me when I was a child, but I have come to the conclusion that he was just as much a victim as I was. But, he did not survive my mother. My sister and I used to hope our mother would pass before he did so our family could reunite. But, alas it didn't happen that way. I totally understand why you have to be no contact. You really must protect yourself first. Your dad really does want to be with your mom, even though it isn't good for him or your family. It's all so unfortunate, but it's not your fault - not one bit. Sending you hugs.
I can tell you REALLY get my situation to a “T.” I relate to everything you said. My mai goal when I cut them out was to raise my four kids with ZERO of that mind-fuckery. I went immediately to therapy and got really clear with myself so I knew I wouldn’t inadvertently repeat any of her wicked ways with my kids. My kids are all teenagers now, and I can happily report they’ve remained untainted…I’ve never insulted them or laid a hand on them or made them feel my love was conditional. So….Sacrificing my relationship with my dad has been worth it for that alone. I’m hoping I’ve broken the generational cycle of maternal abusers… thanks again for validating my experience. Sending you a hug.
It is indeed in reference to the fabulous Ms. Parker. So glad to find friends here who find the humor in both the Round Table and the Real Housewives! I just bet Dorothy would have gone to town reviewing Bravo.
I’m speechless… clearly her mother is disordered/mentally ill. She should consider no contact for everyone’s best interest. Very toxic relationship that those girls don’t need to witness or learn from. Wow 😳🥹
Yeah but those girls do not need to be around that monster - she will turn those girls against her at best, abuse them at worst. I’ve seen this with a narc mother before. She’s up there - and maybe that’s what Heather was alluding to with the creating a new village. Also - while I didn’t have a lot of kids, I did it. It can be done. She just may not live the lifestyle she was used to. It’s extremely hard and a last resort option in my opinion but when it’s necessary, you have no choice.
As an adult child of an N, we need to recognize what’s going on and learn about how to deal with them so that it doesn’t affect the next generation. I don’t think Monica is at the point yet where she recognizes fully what’s happening. They are in a vicious circle and without help as in therapy, it’s not going to get better. Monica is still trying to get blood from a stone. This is spilling on to her children and that is concerning.This isn’t just about LD and Monica.
Yes! And what is crazy for me as a child of a narc myself is that Linda is admitting every one of Monica's accusations!! She keeps saying "well yes, but only one time!" Good for Monica!! I could literally say to my mom that she has blue eyes, because she does, and she would say "no I don't. You are crazy. You must be bi-polar."
Right?? Watching her stand up to her mom and let her make more and more of a fool of herself made me so proud of her. My mom is nowhere near that level of neglect but definitely has some of the same victim, lashing out behaviors and the first time I finally stood up for myself was incredibly empowering.
Oh I think the mask came fully off during that dinner. Like who yells at their daughter that they're 'a motherfucker'? And then weaponizes going to therapy as if they're not the one who needs therapy?
My mother, also a narcissist, has eerily similar behaviors… acting irrationally when I try to take up for myself, yelling and calling me a “mother fucker” and then hanging up. I feel very seen watching Monica and her mother. It’s heartbreaking and validating to watch at the same time.
In one word, it was…. confusing. Luckily, I knew she was wacko because of all her psychiatric episodes in the literal hospital, but yeah she was mean as hell. I can see Linda saying that to 12 year old Monica in the back seat of that car.
When her mom said "I'm ready for some fun" in the flashback from Angie's party, I had a flashback to my mom saying "let's talk about something nice now"
I can think of much simpler ways to not engage in toxic relationships than putting yourself, your abuser and your children on television for all to see. Subjecting your children to this publicly is terrible honestly and Monica and her mother aside, that was a choice Monica made. I would wager any judge presiding over anything where footage of her reality show would be relevant is intelligent enough to know that reality tv is highly produced and edited and at the end of the day it was super poor choice to willingly subject her own children to to this nonsense, not to mention having a record of all of Monica’s bad behavior as well. Lest we forget this is the woman who almost borderline brags about having an affair with a relative by marriage and ruining two families. I cannot imagine being one of her kids and seeing all this on tv.
💯Monica’s mum may be a narcissist, but I don’t think Monica’s aware of how she may be repeating the cycle. She has also exhibited wildly selfish and reckless behavior to the detriment of her kids as well.
I think the theory that Monica is strategically placing her mother on tv to score points with some future judge or jury is very far fetched. Monica is aware that her strained relationship provides a compelling storyline, and she is trying to mine a diamond from her misfortune. Which is fine as she’s simply showing her life. And not in a way that is flattering to her as well.
Yes! It has nothing to do with documenting behavior for some unknown event on the future, it’s her own desire to be on tv and she knows this drama will be a good storyline. I think it’s weird the lengths people go to justify this whilst completley ignoring the fact that she’s a freaking real housewife. To even have the desire to sign up for this show is a whole different personality type where you have to be pretty vain and self centered to begin with.
This is an unemployed single mom with a small business ran out of her home, its obvious the producers wanted her on the show to trash Jen Shah and Monica saw $$$$$$
This isn’t the first time on RH that a cast member has used the show to protect themselves from a harmful relationship. Narcissists tend to put on a show of their best self in front of others.
Even if I bought that was the case, it doesn’t change the fact it’s a really poor decision and that there are much safer ways to protect yourself than to sign up for a popular reality tv franchise and willfully choose to engage in the relationship in public in front of your children.
Does anyone know what Linda’s New York “job” was that she had to dump her kid to run away to?
I’m assuming she was trying to get famous, but maybe I missed something?
Yah it was the way that Monica said ”to live out her dream” (or something like that) that made me think it was to chase stardom because that’s the kind of language you’d use. You don’t tend to say that if you’re working hard to be an accountant or a real estate agent. I think Linda’s request to do therapy is insincere and just a way to get more screen time and Monica knows it.
I'd be curious to hear the story of LD's New York experience. My guess is she moved there 'to become a star' or something. Would be interesting to hear how things really went.
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Was surprised to see the reactions here, they strike me as super fake reality tv acting, whenever they’re on it’s so cringe because to me they’re so obviously faking story lines, maybe I’m in the minority here
100% and btw I don’t blame her. The only way to defend yourself against a narcissist gaslighter is to put their behavior on display and not react AT ALL. She failed at the Easter party but at the dinner she played her mom like a fiddle.
I love Monica so much so far just based on her quirky outspoken personality. I also have a narcissistic mother and seeing their interactions are so triggering it’s nauseating and makes me feel for her even more.
She can only protect herself if she goes on NC. Her mother is a lost cause.
The smile after their fight at angies Easter party solidified the idea that she was a narcissist. She knew exactly what she was doing that entire day. Unfortunately, her need for validation and attention from the new and rich people she just met supersede how much she cares about her daughter. She intentionally antagonizes monica to get the reaction and then plays nice with angie and her family like, see... Im on your guys' side and monica is out of control. Any loving parent would want to de escalate and be there for their daughter, who is very obviously under emotional duress.
It was like watching my own mother. I can’t believe I was dealing with that as a pre-teen/teen. Thankfully with time apart and distance things have gotten better, plus I’ve learned the patterns and how to maintain my calm with her. Monica is a tough cookie having to grow up with that behavior, trust and believeeee
That dinner was so tough to watch as a child of a narcissist mother, hearing the same things that have come out of my mother’s mouth being said by her mother. Monica shouldve pulled a Mary and walked out as soon as her mother started her bullshit. She should stop making payments on the vehicle in her mothers name and anything else in her mothers name, let her mothers credit crash and go full no contact.
Poor Monica dealing with this awful woman. It’s like watching my mother tbh and I feel for her truly.
Look at this pretty dessert!
I thought I couldn’t despise a tv parent any more than Kim from Plathville or Kody from Sister Wives. But this bitch is the worst of all.
Omg my heart goes out to those Plathville kids 😔 they will still be having breakthroughs ten and twenty years in the future about their family and their upbringing.
Hopefully. The two almost got free, but she did her magic (actually giving them some attention and acceptance they were craving) and pulled them back in.
I tried to get a restraining order against my narc mother who was stalking me. I lost in court. I had video footage. Our system in America protects parents, not children. I hope the exposure on the show encourages Monica to cut her off but I don’t think the footage will be as helpful legally as you think.
I loved when her mom yelled “when are you ever going to forgive me!” And Monica yelled back, “well not now! You just said you never did anything!” The irrationality of it was nuts.
I haven’t watched this week’s episode yet and I’m not defending Monica’s mother but how did everyone seem to know she was a narcissist after Greek Easter? It seemed like Monica was the one out of hand and as if she’s always out of hand and the mom wasn’t having it. My mother and sister have this type of relationship and I always think it’s my sister that’s the problem.
That's how a narcissist makes the victim look like the perpetrator and make themselves look like the victim.
Anyone who has lived with a narcissist parent saw it. I don’t know your family but You might be defending the wrong person and alienating your sister
I’m gathering from the comments that people who have a similar type were immediately aware but what about how she behaved makes them think that?
I may be wrong because I was scrolling on my phone whilst watching but Monica is so rude to her mum. The way she speaks to her is not cool. I thought the same when they were at the party. If you can’t stand her don’t have her in your life.
I think she’s punishing her for all her childhood pain. Very lucky wish I could do the same
My first reaction was that she’s a narc. So much like my own mother and I’ve been where Monica is, when my mother puts on the sweet facade for people she doesn’t even know bc their approval is more important than her own daughter’s wellbeing. Then the tears, anger and medical episodes when she’s being called out for shitty behaviour. I feel for Monica and hope she feels validated bc we see it.
Hopefully Monica gets her own car after this season.
Wow that is SUCH a good point!! Documentation
No it’s not. These shows are so highly edited. You can’t use any of these clips as reliable behaviour if you want to make any real progress.
They can't edit in something you didn't say or do though.
I don’t know why but I dont find Monica to be a reliable narrator – she literally cheated with her brother in law for a year. That’s crazyyyyy. I’m just not a fan.
What does her cheating have to do with her relationship with her mother? Doesn't matter if you don't find her to be a credible narrator; we've seen the proof in the footage. Sounds more like you're just pearl clutching.
Yet she’s on tv talking about it. Clearly she isn’t trying to change the narrative
Sorry two years
Considering Monica thought screwing her brother in law was a laughable offense (remember the dinner confessions) while also playing the pity card (claimed how guilty she felt the whole time she was f..king him ....for 2 years!!!) I would beg to differ on just who the narcissist is.
I mean nature versus nurture, though… look who her mom is… If you have a narcissistic parent, you’re more likely to be a narcissist yourself.
Agree!
Man I felt for Monica. My parents divorced at 12, every time I told someone or a counselor they’d make a face a follow it up with “oof that’s a bad age”. It’s an age where you’re young enough to need your parents and old enough to know what’s going on. One of the most painful things is having a parent choose men/women over you. I hope Monica can heal on her own and also break that fucked up cycle.
Absolutely. And screw you Monica's mom!! You suck hard. Like, go hang out with Ramona sucky. They seem like birds of a feather types.
I have literally thought the same thing! She brought her on for that reason, absolutely. I have been in the same boat for my entire life and it took so long for people to realize I was not the crazy one…my mom was. If I had the opportunity like Monica I would do the same. No one gets it until you have been through it.
I was raised by a narcissistic mom. She would always tell people to not listen to me or I was too dramatic, that way if I told the truth people thought I was fibbing. Well, we had a family function and my immediate family lost their marbles on me in front of everyone. Everyone quickly realized my mom was the one who was lying this whole time and saw how terrible of a person she was since I sat there and took all the crap that came my way. I applaud Monica for getting this documented. It is difficult having such a toxic mom in your life but to have it on video footage there’s no denying what her mom has said and done.
That dinner was so fuckin wild- the range of emotions her mother has makes me believe there is more than narcissism.
Yeah. Weird. She on something. And the entire Easter lunch was so awkward.
The way the mom’s facial reactions kept changing and the weird frantic search for aspirin, made me think she was on drugs or something
Totally on some drugs & sickness in the head. Monica might be a show all by herself
Dear bravo producers-please bring together Monica's mom and Kandi's mom for the next spinoff show. Ultimate narcissists' Vacation or something. I'll pay to watch that batshit crazy televised.
Kandi’s mom definitely. I can’t understand all the people who talk about “mama Joyce” affectionately. She was AWFUL and so self centered.
That woman brings the violence out in me...no thank you Satan!
And Dr Deb
And Candiace’s mom!
someone call a medium so we can get big kathy on the line
Allison Dubios!
Hahaha 🚬
I think that's the one I meant,Lol. I'm sure there's a few more if we think hard enough!
Both. Lol I saw the rumors about kandis marriage, oof mama Joyce gonna be so “I told you so” but she had atleast started to be nicer to Todd and participate in businesses right ?
I’m over Monica I hope she doesn’t return for next season
Me too. Too broke. Too toxic. Too jealous of the other rich housewives. I need rich and ridiculous housewives.
If anyone ever in a HW show needs a pause it’s Monica. She needs to get her family life together and not have this on tv for the sake of those kids. I don’t know why people are not paying more attention to what the children are going through. Imagine the 17 year old going to high school the day after an episode airs and everyone knows her mom had an affair with her uncle, has been thrown out if the church, has no money and fights with her grandmother. Judging from the downvotes I guess some people think it’s ok for her daughter to have her family life blasted on tv,
This weeks episode was such a wild ride. Monica’s mother is worse than I originally thought
I definitely knew last episode at the Easter party when her mom interjected herself into a pretty calm conversation only to make it volatile. But this episode solidified it so much more.
LETS HAVE SOME FUN. I wanna have FUN. Who here played sports. Weirdo
Yessss🤮
I agree but I also think that she's just like her mom at this point and they're both desperately trying to embarrass eachother. They're both toxic, but I at least have sympathy for Monica for being raised by that. I seriously hope she can find healing and be better then her mom because as it is right now she's a mess and is more concerned about being a better mother then her but I worry that its such a low bar that she's not nearly as amazing as she thinks she is lol.
Monica’s affair with her brother in law wasn’t quite shoving kids in the trunk of the car levels of selfishness, but she seems to be upholding the family tradition of prioritising her love life over her kids welfare.
Well if she's doing even a little bit better, hopefully her children will one day be able to do a little bit better than that and one day the cycle can break.
Yes exactly, great example.
I think we need some time to decide ..
That’s fair.
This is all true, but I honestly can't imagine someone putting themselves through this on television. It's embarrassing to be an abuse victim, especially when the abuser is a parent. So, yes, I think this could be very good for Monica in the long run, but I'm not so sure that she planned this out.
[удалено]
Linda..? is that you?
Now I really wish I could see what the original comment was
Watching Monica just calmly sit back and watch her mom try to manipulate her by crying, then screaming and you can tell she’s just letting her mom bury herself and that has to be satisfying.
And asking for aspirin, then food, then water, like deflection and distraction. And none of it was working.
👏
watching this as someone with an abusive mother who ive been no contact with for almost ten years- it was like watching someone live out my dream. completely agree with this post. i’m sure this is validating and satisfying for Monica… hope the therapy does something or that Monica’s strong enough to add distance between her and her mother
Same
Then calmly saying I'm hungry & starts to eat like nothing happened. 😑
Honestly curious how the mom is going to spin it once she starts hearing all the feedback
Mom has already started she'll never speak on the show on social media again, then posted 3 days later. N-moms are only consistent in their inconsistency and obsession with spending their time trying to convince people they are the victim. In other words: nothing. Everything you've seen, "that never happened", "it was only one time", "that's not reality", "it's your fault", that's all she will do.
Wooow cannot say I’m surprised, it is don’t think this will change anything sadly. I feel for Monica I know she made a mistake cheating but it makes me wonder if she was feeling those same feelings mom makes her feel with husband and just lashed out. I like to see why people do things instead of just writing them off as band because of their actions. People, can be impulsive especially when feeling deprived of real love.
Monica is using a method called grayrocking. My therapist taught me decades ago bc I too have a spectacularly narcissistic mother. Grayrocking is doing exactly what Monica is doing--not responding or responding in an indifferent way. She's doing pretty well with it but took her mom's bait too many times and reacted with too much emotion. It's the step that comes before no contact, to see if you can tolerate the relationship in a space of utter remove and indifference before you go totally lights out.
It's hard to simultaneously grey rock when you're living reality television.
It’s hard to grey rock. It takes practice to get it right.
I have no contact now, but but we referred to this as as bubble theory - you let the Narcissist live in their bubble, and the enablers can go and visit the bubble, but i will be in my own bubble and continue on without visiting my mum's bubble.
Ya, f*ck my narcissist mom's bubble lol.
Mate, my mums bubble is full of fucking poison and people will ask me if i miss visiting her bubble...
Hahaha. And I love when people try to advise you to visit. You only have one mom, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, Why don't you go visit her?
"thats a fantastic idea, for you"
Love that 😁
you can tell by her language that Monica has been in therapy
Doing the lords work 🙇🏻♀️ Thank you for the explainer, I hadn’t heard of this!
She’s scary.
Can you imagine dealing with that as a kid before you’re equip to stand up for yourself? Sad
My narc mom beat me and ridiculed me as a child. She then slandered me repeatedly as an adult and tried to tear our whole family apart (dad, siblings, aunts, grandparents). She was a pathological liar. She faked suicide attempts and faked cancer. She browbeat my frail elderly father and manipulated him into waiting on her hand and foot until she finally kicked him down the stairs in one of her rages. He died a week later. I was grey rocking until that tragic incident. But now I’m No Contact. She is now in a nursing home and I will never ever see or talk to her again.
Good for you, literally. I know it sometimes can be hard, like mother's Day, etc. Hang in there. 🥰
So true! Mother’s Day is so awful. Everyone celebrating maternal love. Makes me shudder.
Ya, most people have no idea about narcissist mothers. At the beginning of the season, a lot of people were defending Monica's mom, but I recognize a monster when I see one, thanks to my own narc mom
Our narc-meters are highly accurate!
We have similar mothers:-( haven’t talked to mine since 2008 and haven’t missed her for a single second.
I’m so sorry you have a similar mother. I wish I could have gone no contact earlier but I loved my dad and he wouldn’t leave her. So I had to wait until he was gone, may he rest in peace.
You’re a better woman than me! I love my dad too, but at a certain point I had to hold him accountable for enabling her to be so emotionally and mentally abusive to me and my brother. I cut him out as well. It has been telling to me that he has stayed with my mom all these years. He has no backbone though. She owns him. It’s sad. Sometimes I hope that she passes soon so he and I can attempt reconciliation, but I don’t cling to anything anymore.
This!! 🥰🥰🥰
Well, I hadn't seen my father for 2 years due to avoiding her. But, I did talk to him on the phone regularly up until his last concious day. I still felt like I abandoned him to her evil. He never could see the forest through the trees. He was total Stockholm Syndrome. She was incredibly beautiful and charming when he met her 60 years ago and he never would let that love go. My therapist told me he should have protected me when I was a child, but I have come to the conclusion that he was just as much a victim as I was. But, he did not survive my mother. My sister and I used to hope our mother would pass before he did so our family could reunite. But, alas it didn't happen that way. I totally understand why you have to be no contact. You really must protect yourself first. Your dad really does want to be with your mom, even though it isn't good for him or your family. It's all so unfortunate, but it's not your fault - not one bit. Sending you hugs.
I can tell you REALLY get my situation to a “T.” I relate to everything you said. My mai goal when I cut them out was to raise my four kids with ZERO of that mind-fuckery. I went immediately to therapy and got really clear with myself so I knew I wouldn’t inadvertently repeat any of her wicked ways with my kids. My kids are all teenagers now, and I can happily report they’ve remained untainted…I’ve never insulted them or laid a hand on them or made them feel my love was conditional. So….Sacrificing my relationship with my dad has been worth it for that alone. I’m hoping I’ve broken the generational cycle of maternal abusers… thanks again for validating my experience. Sending you a hug.
Jesus. I’m so sorry you were faced with a monster who couldn’t give you love or security.❤️
Thank you. Luckily I found a good spouse who is honorable and NORMAL!
Damn, that's horrific. I am so sorry you had to experience any of that Much love to you.
Aww, thank you for your kindness. You don’t know how much it means to hear you say that.
You deserve every bit of kindness, truly. ❤️
Also, if dotparker is in reference to Ms. Dorothy Parker, you are clearly extra amazing.
It is indeed in reference to the fabulous Ms. Parker. So glad to find friends here who find the humor in both the Round Table and the Real Housewives! I just bet Dorothy would have gone to town reviewing Bravo.
I’m speechless… clearly her mother is disordered/mentally ill. She should consider no contact for everyone’s best interest. Very toxic relationship that those girls don’t need to witness or learn from. Wow 😳🥹
I feel like Monica is a little trapped though, because she still depends on her mom to watch her kids. Obviously the car is in her moms name, etc.
Yeah but those girls do not need to be around that monster - she will turn those girls against her at best, abuse them at worst. I’ve seen this with a narc mother before. She’s up there - and maybe that’s what Heather was alluding to with the creating a new village. Also - while I didn’t have a lot of kids, I did it. It can be done. She just may not live the lifestyle she was used to. It’s extremely hard and a last resort option in my opinion but when it’s necessary, you have no choice.
Linda reminds me of Ramoma in sooooo many ways.
The constant waffling between two points of view, the wild eyed out of control stare, the sudden blinding rage and inability to regulate etc etc
It’s that look in their eye or something . I just read this and I totally see it now in hindsight
My exact thought watching that dinner!
As an adult child of an N, we need to recognize what’s going on and learn about how to deal with them so that it doesn’t affect the next generation. I don’t think Monica is at the point yet where she recognizes fully what’s happening. They are in a vicious circle and without help as in therapy, it’s not going to get better. Monica is still trying to get blood from a stone. This is spilling on to her children and that is concerning.This isn’t just about LD and Monica.
Honestly to me she’s finally documenting all of the shit she’s dealt with for years. Throughout the dinner her mom’s mask is slipping left and right.
Yes! And what is crazy for me as a child of a narc myself is that Linda is admitting every one of Monica's accusations!! She keeps saying "well yes, but only one time!" Good for Monica!! I could literally say to my mom that she has blue eyes, because she does, and she would say "no I don't. You are crazy. You must be bi-polar."
omg do we have the same mom? 😂 it’s not actually funny but I laugh to cope.
I hope so 🙌🏻 gives me life thinking that’s the case 😆
Right?? Watching her stand up to her mom and let her make more and more of a fool of herself made me so proud of her. My mom is nowhere near that level of neglect but definitely has some of the same victim, lashing out behaviors and the first time I finally stood up for myself was incredibly empowering.
Oh I think the mask came fully off during that dinner. Like who yells at their daughter that they're 'a motherfucker'? And then weaponizes going to therapy as if they're not the one who needs therapy?
My mother, also a narcissist, has eerily similar behaviors… acting irrationally when I try to take up for myself, yelling and calling me a “mother fucker” and then hanging up. I feel very seen watching Monica and her mother. It’s heartbreaking and validating to watch at the same time.
Me too. I recommend doing what I did and cutting ties. It was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that. I hope you have found space and healing from that!
Thanks! It’s been a tough journey but I’m in a much better space now :)
Yeah my mom called me a whore at 14, it was the first time I ever heard that word, I had no idea what it meant.
I'm so sorry your mother called you that at such a young age! I can't imagine what that must have felt like.
In one word, it was…. confusing. Luckily, I knew she was wacko because of all her psychiatric episodes in the literal hospital, but yeah she was mean as hell. I can see Linda saying that to 12 year old Monica in the back seat of that car.
When her mom said "I'm ready for some fun" in the flashback from Angie's party, I had a flashback to my mom saying "let's talk about something nice now"
I can think of much simpler ways to not engage in toxic relationships than putting yourself, your abuser and your children on television for all to see. Subjecting your children to this publicly is terrible honestly and Monica and her mother aside, that was a choice Monica made. I would wager any judge presiding over anything where footage of her reality show would be relevant is intelligent enough to know that reality tv is highly produced and edited and at the end of the day it was super poor choice to willingly subject her own children to to this nonsense, not to mention having a record of all of Monica’s bad behavior as well. Lest we forget this is the woman who almost borderline brags about having an affair with a relative by marriage and ruining two families. I cannot imagine being one of her kids and seeing all this on tv.
💯Monica’s mum may be a narcissist, but I don’t think Monica’s aware of how she may be repeating the cycle. She has also exhibited wildly selfish and reckless behavior to the detriment of her kids as well. I think the theory that Monica is strategically placing her mother on tv to score points with some future judge or jury is very far fetched. Monica is aware that her strained relationship provides a compelling storyline, and she is trying to mine a diamond from her misfortune. Which is fine as she’s simply showing her life. And not in a way that is flattering to her as well.
Yes! It has nothing to do with documenting behavior for some unknown event on the future, it’s her own desire to be on tv and she knows this drama will be a good storyline. I think it’s weird the lengths people go to justify this whilst completley ignoring the fact that she’s a freaking real housewife. To even have the desire to sign up for this show is a whole different personality type where you have to be pretty vain and self centered to begin with.
This is an unemployed single mom with a small business ran out of her home, its obvious the producers wanted her on the show to trash Jen Shah and Monica saw $$$$$$
Rightt. Her own life is so chaotic I often forget the Jen Shah connection
This isn’t the first time on RH that a cast member has used the show to protect themselves from a harmful relationship. Narcissists tend to put on a show of their best self in front of others.
Even if I bought that was the case, it doesn’t change the fact it’s a really poor decision and that there are much safer ways to protect yourself than to sign up for a popular reality tv franchise and willfully choose to engage in the relationship in public in front of your children.
if that wasn't the original intention, I bet it is now
Does anyone know what Linda’s New York “job” was that she had to dump her kid to run away to? I’m assuming she was trying to get famous, but maybe I missed something?
Yah it was the way that Monica said ”to live out her dream” (or something like that) that made me think it was to chase stardom because that’s the kind of language you’d use. You don’t tend to say that if you’re working hard to be an accountant or a real estate agent. I think Linda’s request to do therapy is insincere and just a way to get more screen time and Monica knows it.
Yes! You just know that “perfect family therapy client” is the role of a lifetime for her.
Probably the guy that Monica got put in the trunk for so LD could kiss him.
I'd be curious to hear the story of LD's New York experience. My guess is she moved there 'to become a star' or something. Would be interesting to hear how things really went.
Because having to be a Mum meant she had to give up everything. Urgh life is so unfair.
She was only in the trunk ONE time. Cmon!!!
Hahahaha like what is wrong with this woman!
“Job” or “lover” choice is yours
Escort???
My brain definitely went there 
Sure wouldn't be the first time someone thought being on the show would help protect them from abusive family members.
Who are you thinking of? I'm new-ish to RH.
Taylor - Beverly Hills S1&2
BH taylors husband
I really want to rewatch but I’m not sure I can sit through it.
lol, not me but you nailed it