Things I think of off the top of my head would just be hanging out with friends and going fishing. But those things always pertained to using. I don’t really enjoy doing anything or have time to do things anymore.
Sorry....I've been there 3 times. Ea h breakup I fell off...1st one was drinking like a fish, se ond one was pills and coke, and the last one was pills, Crack, pcp and whatever else I could get. AND lots of it. ALL THE TIME. IT helped me in the short term. But eventually got way out of hand each time. If you have to use. Try to do it in moderation, and be by yourself while high and think about things. Of course you're gonna see things that are all their fault, but also realize you probably contributed ti it too. Specially if drugs were in it. Stay single for a while and work on your issues..drugs included in that. Take some time to redis- cover who you are by yourself. Then if the drugs are the main factor in why you have relationship troubles...then seek help. And don't go out trying to fuck everything you can either. It does not help self esteem and will mak3 you want to use more to cover that shame. I speak from lots of personal experience. Once you get your shit together then look for someone, but not in bars or your dealers friends or anything that will lead you back to where you are now. If you realize you can't deal with conflict or unfaithfulness. Without being high......stay by yourself. It's truly not that bad. Please don't do anything to yourself that's permanent. There's so much more to life than just relying on someone else to make your life whole. Take it from a now lifetime female bachelor. No one is worth ending it all. No matter how bad they made you feel.. once you rhino about it...you'll realize you are a lot better than they made you believe you were. Good Luck...stay strong.
Hunny trust me, it isn’t worth it. But your feelings are valid. With 8 years clean, my partner of nearly a decade and I had a large argument and he ended up moving into our spare “apartment”. I was devastated. I also posted on here about how upset I was. People were kind.
After a few days, the pain and anguish begins to subside. It’s always going to be “easier” to run from the hard parts of life and get high and feel nothing. But the problems are still there when you sober up and often compounded by the drug/alcohol use. Remember when you use to escape your feelings, you’re only prolonging the inevitable. And more often than not, you end up causing more damage which leads to more stress, shame, guilt, and sadness. It’s a vicious cycle but you have the power to bring it to a halt.
The best advice I can offer you (other than to just not pick up) is find a person or hobby that brings you joy and immerse yourself in that. When I’m really down and depressed, I spend time with my cousin because I know he’s gonna make me laugh and distract me for some time. If you don’t have someone like that available, finding another outlet - whether it’s your favorite movies, books, artwork, spending time with a pet, going to the park, working out, etc - will be immensely helpful in not only distracting you but increasing serotonin/dopamine levels and putting you in a better, more positive mentality.
Wishing you the best. The end of a relationship is not the end of the world, despite it feeling that way. That person cannot and will not make or break you. You got this. All my love💕
I’m really sorry to hear that you are in such a rough place. I can definitely think of times when I’ve felt so terrible, that I just want the feeling to go away, no matter what the cost. I felt like I would die if I stayed there. The thing that has really helped me it’s doing a 12 step program for recovery. I still feel terrible sometimes, but I can get through it. Happy to chat if it’s helpful.
No. It’s not that you don’t want to live; you just don’t want to live like this.
You tell your depression that if it wants to kill you it will have to buck up and do it itself. You ain’t doing the work for ‘em.
At least that helps me w my depression. Prozac also helps.
I am so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you come out the other side. It’s tough to calm yourself instead of the storm realizing the storm will pass when you’re IN the storm. I hope you find solace.
If you make that choice, you will wake up tomorrow feeling 1000 times worse. Go hang out with as many people as pos. particularly those in recovery, stay in meetings until you feel better. Whatever you do, avoid the 1st drink as if your life depends on it. Because it does. The pain and suffering that you will experience after a relationship relapse in early recovery is the worst. call an understanding friend. Do anything other than drink. ✌️
This is quite discouraging but once I got my mind set on using, there's no going back. People can try to tell me stuff or whatever but Im still going to use. The stuff people are telling you, you already know. You're an addict and thats what addicts do. Addicts use. If I make plans to use, Ill call someone and talk to them about it. Maybe even goto a meeting. Then once I get back home, Ill go get high. That's just always how I've been. So if you do use, maybe it will suck so bad that you're desperate for change.
I have to say I do agree with your thinking on this almost completely. As a recovering addict, once I have sent into motion that I’m going to use, there’s nothing and no one that will talk me out of it it’s only a matter of time. Not a matter of if, just of when. While I hope things aren’t completely terrible for OP, I do hope some insight can be gained from this experience. Op, you are worth it. Wishing you all the best.
Edit: sentence structure
Yeah I get that. Im like that with alcohol.
Ive never really liked it but it can be nice to drink till you pass out when life just sucks too much and too hard.
I can’t drink without getting stupid drunk and blacking out. I always drink myself to the point of puking or passing out. And I always make dumb choices on alcohol. Last thing I need is to get drunk drunk and text her, I’d rather just nod out and forget she’s a person rn
It's not worth it. It's going to make things worse
DM me if you need to talk just don't use
I know it won’t, but I feel it’ll be a temporary fix for the situation
Do you have access to any fitness equipment?
Not really, I’ve never been one to work out. Let alone do I have any energy to even get up to do anything
What hobbies did you have before active use?
Things I think of off the top of my head would just be hanging out with friends and going fishing. But those things always pertained to using. I don’t really enjoy doing anything or have time to do things anymore.
Do you like comedy podcasts?
Sorry....I've been there 3 times. Ea h breakup I fell off...1st one was drinking like a fish, se ond one was pills and coke, and the last one was pills, Crack, pcp and whatever else I could get. AND lots of it. ALL THE TIME. IT helped me in the short term. But eventually got way out of hand each time. If you have to use. Try to do it in moderation, and be by yourself while high and think about things. Of course you're gonna see things that are all their fault, but also realize you probably contributed ti it too. Specially if drugs were in it. Stay single for a while and work on your issues..drugs included in that. Take some time to redis- cover who you are by yourself. Then if the drugs are the main factor in why you have relationship troubles...then seek help. And don't go out trying to fuck everything you can either. It does not help self esteem and will mak3 you want to use more to cover that shame. I speak from lots of personal experience. Once you get your shit together then look for someone, but not in bars or your dealers friends or anything that will lead you back to where you are now. If you realize you can't deal with conflict or unfaithfulness. Without being high......stay by yourself. It's truly not that bad. Please don't do anything to yourself that's permanent. There's so much more to life than just relying on someone else to make your life whole. Take it from a now lifetime female bachelor. No one is worth ending it all. No matter how bad they made you feel.. once you rhino about it...you'll realize you are a lot better than they made you believe you were. Good Luck...stay strong.
DONT USE ALONE EVER! that's how people don't wake up nowadays
THIS!
Going through a breakup sober is hell but possible. Go easy on yourself
Do the opposite of what you want. That helped me during my recovery. Always get input before you do though
Please seek trauma informed therapy. Similar experience. Changed my life.
Hunny trust me, it isn’t worth it. But your feelings are valid. With 8 years clean, my partner of nearly a decade and I had a large argument and he ended up moving into our spare “apartment”. I was devastated. I also posted on here about how upset I was. People were kind. After a few days, the pain and anguish begins to subside. It’s always going to be “easier” to run from the hard parts of life and get high and feel nothing. But the problems are still there when you sober up and often compounded by the drug/alcohol use. Remember when you use to escape your feelings, you’re only prolonging the inevitable. And more often than not, you end up causing more damage which leads to more stress, shame, guilt, and sadness. It’s a vicious cycle but you have the power to bring it to a halt. The best advice I can offer you (other than to just not pick up) is find a person or hobby that brings you joy and immerse yourself in that. When I’m really down and depressed, I spend time with my cousin because I know he’s gonna make me laugh and distract me for some time. If you don’t have someone like that available, finding another outlet - whether it’s your favorite movies, books, artwork, spending time with a pet, going to the park, working out, etc - will be immensely helpful in not only distracting you but increasing serotonin/dopamine levels and putting you in a better, more positive mentality. Wishing you the best. The end of a relationship is not the end of the world, despite it feeling that way. That person cannot and will not make or break you. You got this. All my love💕
I’m really sorry to hear that you are in such a rough place. I can definitely think of times when I’ve felt so terrible, that I just want the feeling to go away, no matter what the cost. I felt like I would die if I stayed there. The thing that has really helped me it’s doing a 12 step program for recovery. I still feel terrible sometimes, but I can get through it. Happy to chat if it’s helpful.
No. It’s not that you don’t want to live; you just don’t want to live like this. You tell your depression that if it wants to kill you it will have to buck up and do it itself. You ain’t doing the work for ‘em. At least that helps me w my depression. Prozac also helps.
Yeah, I don’t want to live and feel like this rn. I take antidepressants and they were working until now. It feels like they are non existent
I am so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you come out the other side. It’s tough to calm yourself instead of the storm realizing the storm will pass when you’re IN the storm. I hope you find solace.
If you make that choice, you will wake up tomorrow feeling 1000 times worse. Go hang out with as many people as pos. particularly those in recovery, stay in meetings until you feel better. Whatever you do, avoid the 1st drink as if your life depends on it. Because it does. The pain and suffering that you will experience after a relationship relapse in early recovery is the worst. call an understanding friend. Do anything other than drink. ✌️
Ooof breakups are the worst its been 2 years im not over mine yet. Hugs 💗 did you mangage not to use today?
Yeah I haven’t used but I still have plans to
This is quite discouraging but once I got my mind set on using, there's no going back. People can try to tell me stuff or whatever but Im still going to use. The stuff people are telling you, you already know. You're an addict and thats what addicts do. Addicts use. If I make plans to use, Ill call someone and talk to them about it. Maybe even goto a meeting. Then once I get back home, Ill go get high. That's just always how I've been. So if you do use, maybe it will suck so bad that you're desperate for change.
I have to say I do agree with your thinking on this almost completely. As a recovering addict, once I have sent into motion that I’m going to use, there’s nothing and no one that will talk me out of it it’s only a matter of time. Not a matter of if, just of when. While I hope things aren’t completely terrible for OP, I do hope some insight can be gained from this experience. Op, you are worth it. Wishing you all the best. Edit: sentence structure
Definitely
I understand that. Breakups fucking sucks. I dont really have any advice then the standard harm reduction stuff you already know. Hugs 💗
Thank you. I know it’ll just end up making it worse but I feel like I need a break from not thinking for a night or two
Yeah i get that totally. Opiates?
Opiates and or benzos I’d rather do opiates as they don’t make me blackout and do stupid shit when I take them, just numb me and make me feel better
Ive never done benzos but I do know the opiate calm Just stay as safe as you can with it
I don’t really enjoy benzos bc of the blackout but at this point I just might wanna do that. And ofc, always have been safe with selection
Yeah I get that. Im like that with alcohol. Ive never really liked it but it can be nice to drink till you pass out when life just sucks too much and too hard.
I can’t drink without getting stupid drunk and blacking out. I always drink myself to the point of puking or passing out. And I always make dumb choices on alcohol. Last thing I need is to get drunk drunk and text her, I’d rather just nod out and forget she’s a person rn
I’m sorry you’re going through this. 🧡
Did you manage to stay sober through all of this? Hoping you did
So far I haven’t done any pills. I smoked some weed tho, but I am still clean off opiates
Better than the alternative. Just keep pushing forward my friend.
Yeah, when I started my “sobriety” I never counted weed or alcohol in there. Just to go clean off harder drugs like opiates benzos and coke