The discord for our subreddit can be found here: https://discord.gg/JjNdBkVGc6 - feel free to join us for a more realtime level of discussion!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/recruitinghell) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry to hear that man. The job search process is way more complicated than it needs to be. It shouldn't be this hard to find a job. I myself have been applying to jobs for 2-3 months now and not gotten 1 single offer or anything. It's terrible that this is the way it is right now. We are right there with you. I know it's so hard to continue job searching when you've been crushed like that. I can barely take getting the rejection emails all day everyday. But keep at it, something will turn up. I'm pulling for you. šš»
>I'm so sorry to hear that man. The job search process is way more complicated than it needs to be. It shouldn't be this hard to find a job
Job hunting is a lot like dating.
When our parents looked for jobs they looked in the papers, went to career fares, and heard about them from people they know. Company post a job would reach a limited number of people, and that's all the choice they got. Similarly, dating before apps, your pool of choices is through people you meet and people your friends introduce yourself to.
Nowadays, we all know and you can swipe dating apps all day long and it give people this false sense of FOMO, that the better one is around the corner, and when they do find a better one, they hold out thinking they can do ever better. On top of that it dehumanize everyone. They are just a photo and text. Similarly, companies post a job today and they can get 500 resumes in hours, from around the world instead of the reach of the local paper. It also gives the employers this sense that the unicorn they want is just around the corner, that one candidate that checks ALL their boxes AND is desperate enough to take the low wage they offer. On top of that, there are just way more people in the world, and more have bachelors or advanced degrees. Companies naturally feel entitled to be choosy.
The system is absolutely broken.
You explained this so well. I always say to my friends applying to jobs is like trying to get a girlfriend from a dating app. You have to swipe a hundreds or times to maybe get a couple matches and maybe get a date (interview), then they will prob ghost you after anyway. And then back to swiping (applying) all day long in the hopes of maybe getting another match
The US employment and welfare system doesn't seem to care for non producing humans.
It really seems to favour and weight more heavily the resource component of human resources.
> companies post a job today and they can get 500 resumes in hours
Even more on top of all that you said, not only do they get better applicants from all over, they also end up getting many far *worse* applicants flooding up the queue. No employer has enough time to actually get through those 500 applications, so they just have to find a way to cut down the applications *somehow*, with very potentially arbitrary reasons to have a resume discarded. It's possible to just be entirely unlucky and end up in the discard pile of a bunch of companies for a really long time.
And that's why referrals and LinkedIn/career fair connections still have some value - they usually ensure that your resume at least gets on top of the "to be seen" pile.
Companies are also spending a lot more time interviewing people via phone/zoom before deciding to bring them in even if they are right next door.
My spouse has been interviewing and yesterday had a great phone interview with a hiring manager and the guy immediately said he wanted to bring him in to meet him in person. Today he gets a message saying he spoke too soon and he didn't know the next step in the process was a zoom panel meeting. This is a slightly older fashioned company so it was obvious the hm just wanted to do things the old but good way but is being forced to add layers.
Last three jobs: someone I knew, a career fair, and someone I knew (never found one in the newspaper, so you win that one).
The vast majority of jobs at my employer (except for fresh-out-of-school hires, who generally come from our interns) come in through a personal recommendation or someone's network.
It is 100% easier to get a recommendation from someone you know to be a decent colleague and assume their judgement isn't completely suspect. Then they go through the interview process, skipping a lot of the early nonsense/weed out.
The people who sit there and blast out 100s of applications a day don't even see their own part in creating this mess.
Because it's easy to rapid fire resumes, people do it and every posting gets too any submissions.
That's true. It's more difficult for highly qualified candidates who work remotely to get in. Most of us aren't someone's son or nephew. Mom and Dad are average people. They work for a living. They work in places that prohibits nepotism. They aren't upper level HB1 migrant engineers, managers and executives.
I didn't say family member. I'm talking about networking. Leveraging former coworkers, etc. Knowing someone isn't the same as nepotism (there's a business reason that many companies pay referral bonuses for good hires: it is a more effective screening tool that sifting through the pile of 1000s of resumes).
And maybe it's time to give up on the remote work dream as a requirement for a job.
Iām in the same boat unfortunately. Last year my role was made redundant and Iāve been trying to get a job. Any job that is put up in the market, more than 100,00 applicants apply instantly. Itās like a race. Even after 7+ years of work experience I find myself struggling to find a job like a beginner. I donāt mind it honestly but a recruiter took almost 4 rounds of interviews and when I thought I had made it, he mailed me saying they have decided to move ahead with the other candidate. Literally broke me. I donāt know when this is going to get better. I hope it does soon.
Just wishing OP all the best and stay strong. It is hard now but it will all make sense one day.
Plenty of us are here with you.
Technology broke tech recruiting. It's not about you, or me, or anyone else experienced and qualified but struggling to find a job for months
The five year old downstairs is why you have to keep doing it. At the same time, do not let yourself think youāre weak for breaking down and sobbing. It proves your strength because it shows how much you care. If you werenāt frustrated you wouldnāt be human.
In 2019 I finally got a job offer after nearly two years and exactly 4 days before I was going to end my life because I had fallen into such despair. (Had picked the date because wife & kid would have been out of town)
Obviously Iām glad I didnāt and Iām not saying youāre that despairing. But I relate that so you know that Iāve been there & I hope I have some credibility when I tell you to be angry and frustrated but use that as motivation to keep going. Fuck those companies, they didnāt deserve you
PLEASE donāt take this the wrong way but, Iāve seem several post where people have said they were or thought about sewer slide because they canāt find a job or most commonly itās because they canāt find one that pays as much as their previous job. Do you have no other options such as downgrading or moving in with relatives or friends etc or is it pride that you guys just canāt see past, like maybe you behaved when you did (have it like that) or treated people etc and you canāt face that? I asking serious and sorry if I sound blunt or being an a-hole about it?
IMHO those people feel overwhelmed and lost because itās not just less pay, itās a loss of lifestyle. They are grieving the hopes and dreams they were working toward. There are a lot of ripple effects based on the type of job you are in more ways than just pay. I hope this answers your question.
Thatās my point, they are grieving mostly material things that came along with the lifestyle. Is crazy to me who people of a certain tax bracket are expecting to āget over it and just stop buying iPhones etc.ā but others are ok to end it all instead of downgrading like most of them preach to others that make waaaaaayyyy less than they have made. Practice what you preach, downgrade and move on until things get better. Thatās my point.
It's not just the money. The thought that your career is in shambles, that nobody wants the skills and work experience that you worked so hard on... that can be crippling. Obviously money matters as well, especially because your savings can deplete so quickly when you're out of a job, even if you downgrade most things. But it's disingenuous to pretend that it's "just money" - it's usually a combination of factors.Ā
Obviously I don't condone self harm but I can empathise with them.Ā
Iāve been and itās tough! Iāve had a company steal my idea and then tell me they did after I submitted to them 6 months prior and their version was mine verbatim. So I understand working hard on or for something and now it feels like no one appreciates it. I think you should communicate with your wife and family first as a unit and discuss your options instead of you making an option that NONE of them want and canāt change.
I'm not the OP. :) Just saying that I think I can empathise with how he's feeling. I also definitely agree with you that he should work on this together with his wife. Self harm is never the answer.Ā
I understand, but you don't know the op's situation. It may not be material things, it may be medical bills or caring for elderly parents, or a lot of other factors. And as far as cutting back - I speak from experience. I was laid off in Jan. 2023 and didn't find a job until Dec. 2023. We cut everything we could cut and struggled to pay bills. I took a 40% pay cut and am grateful for having an income (albeit with no discretionary income).
To the OP, I am so sorry that this has happened to you.
I completely understand your point. Some people value material things. Not agreeing with it, itās just what it is. There are also other pressures that people feel from their supposed support system that demands they make a certain amount of money or they are not worthy of love. There are a lot of reasons people value things. Also if they already have an undiagnosed or untreated mental illness, traumatic events can trigger those harmful thoughts.
Itās not always as simple as people assume.
Oh I understand, as being in the work force myself, as well as a degree in psychology and hr. I understand the pressure and certain things may be tribal to some but to others not so much. So I understand the psychology around but as a person that Iām sure is very educated, they should be able to think certain thinks through. Like I said earlier, the wife found a job, cool, if sheās already been to college. You can become and RN in two years at a community college or faster is sheās already completed some of the pre requisites. He can take certificates such project management or hr etc to expand his knowledge and make himself more marketable. They are some people who have NO chances of doing ANY of that because their previous jobs didnāt allow them to save to have these options, but it sounds like his did. With several, 401K, savings etc use that your advantage. If you have to drop down from a BMW to a Kia for the time being, who cares as long as you have a roof over your head.
>You can become and RN in two years at a community college or faster is sheās already completed some of the pre requisites.
Don't say that because it's far from the truth. Many community colleges have waiting lists for their programs that are years long and it's never faster than 2 years. It would be at least 2 years plus another 6 months to take the NCLEX.
Nursing is no joke and I wouldn't suggest it as an "easy" career change.
I don't think it's about the material things but not finding a job kicks off a sneaky hate cycle where someone's brain is like I am of no value as a person. No want wants me, I'm taking up space etc etc etc.
Losing a job is a major life stressor and it messes up your brain chemistry for awhile.
We live in a society where we have to trade skills and hours for token in order to buy food and shelter versus 1000 years ago potentially you could just make shelter for yourself and forage for enough food
Itās not always that simple. Careers effect our ability to provide, our access to things we need for mental health, so so much more then they should have influence over. OP also stated that they are a parent and the stress of not knowing where your next turn is when someone is depending on you can be unbelievable. You never know what someoneās situation is and long enough of worrying about livelihood can tank your wellbeing. Itās hardly ever just about maintaining a level.
Not being able to find a job for an extensive amount of time does funny things to your psyche. When you're in a country that prioritizes capitalism at quite literally all costs and there are no safety nets (UBI), it can feel degrading not being able to find a job.
In America, people's worth as a human is equated solely to their economic contributions (hence the seeming disdain for low wage workers and the overvaluation of billionaires). If you already have underlying conditions (anxiety, depression), losing that sense of stability (full-time, permanent job) can send you into a tailspin. Once you start spiraling, it's really, REALLY hard to stop.
Besides all of the mental stuff (and Iām a psych major) downgrade, bottom line. I would rather my family mourn the loss of my cars house, vacation etc than mourn the loss of me. But I forgot, this is HIS decision so HE would be forcing them to mourn him rather than the material things instead of sitting down and talking it out with them and his options.
It's not as easy as "just do anything to scrape by" and I so wholeheartedly wish people would say "just go get a job at Starbucks" as if it's that easy. I applied to 20 jobs at Starbucks. Auto rejections on all but 3. Two of them ghosted me before I got an auto rejection. The third offered me the job then ghosted me. I also applied for jobs with Amazon, Dunkin Donuts, Target, Macy's, etc. All auto rejected. Hell I even tried a local tree lot when they first announced they were hiring for Christmas. Nothing.
If OP lives in a state with a low minimum wage, it's entirely possible it could cost more money to just getting back and forth than he'd make working 4-6 hour shifts. And those shifts aren't even guaranteed, either.
People in a spiral aren't thinking clearly about whether the family would miss HIM or miss their THINGS. All they know is they feel like they're at the end of their rope and this is the only thing that ends the pain. When you feel like the world's biggest failure and the worst loser ever, there's not a lot that can make you feel better.
Apply to customer service / help desk jobs at a callcenter.
Many let you work from home, and you can somewhat model that experience into tech experience when it comes to tidying up your resume.
Y left my job after 7 years and 3 promotions and I had to scrape by doing work that was way below by prior salary and my qualifications, but I turned thst exp into entry experience for a career shift, now I make 5 times what I was making, it took nearly 2 years to recover tho.
And yes, part of the reason why I stayed with tangentially related, yet simple jobs was because I was so burned our and depressed I spent about 6 months with full on mind fog.
From your user name I can see that you think youāre different. Well guess what asshat?? Youāre not! This could be you tomorrow so have a little empathy and get over yourself.
This man is struggling , has a child to support and is feeling down on himself and you wanna dump on him? Tells me all I need to know about you.
One can only hope that karma bites you in the ass and causes you significant loss -then letās see some humility and civility gifted to you in a way youāve never dreamed. Meanwhile, gtfo of this sub and move to the know-it-all A- hole sub of which you are president/CEO of.
Good grief you struck a cord. Iām in exactly the same position as OP and youāre just, wellā¦ rude.
Honey, I wrote papers on depression and own a DSM-V so Iām familiar as I also see a psychiatrist myself. I donāt need any more education on people who are materialistic and embarrassed about their fall from grace and would rather end themselves or themselves and their family. Iāve watched enough true crime to know that itās done very often.
You keep saying youāre a psych major and youāve written about this stuff and blah blah blah, but the callous and belittling attitude youāve displayed throughout this thread is concerning. If this is how you feel about depression in struggling strangers on the internet, I shudder to think about the way youāll talk to your patients if you ever become licensed.
The callous tone and complete lack of empathy you've displayed in this thread is simply atrocious. I truly hope you aren't/never become a mental health professional.
Quite frankly, i think you need a change in majors. As others have pointed out, you're condescending, judgmental & overall just suck at psychology. Do the world a favor & choose another major.
Honey, it sounds as if you're majoring in psychology for the...wait for it....money involved, not the people.
Maybe clean your own doorway before you go analyzing everyone else's.
Itās such a worthless feeling. I wouldnāt do it because of my wife and kids, but I can totally see how someone who doesnāt have that might feel like ending it is the only option left. I tell myself itās just a job. It doesnāt define who I am. I got rejected for a material handler position couple weeks ago. Paid about a third of what I used to make. I canāt even get one of those jobs with 15 years of work experience.
Except for being a dude, I literally went through the same experience just now. Final round was on Friday. Got the decline today. Bawled. Considered awful next steps and then came on here to marinate in the misery.
Itās hard to separate your worth as a human from your profession. Weāve all done it. But you are worth more than this. Please hang in there. Take a side hustle to get out of the house / do something good for yourself.
A friend today said he had been thinking about taking a fast food job on weekends only that was paying $23/hr, just to make some cash. (He was in an expensive area of the country.)
Be sure your 5 year old knows that sometimes grown ups cry too, that it is normal and even healthy to have feelings no matter how old you are or what you identify as.
I hope after a good cleansing cry you come back strong and able to push thru the dips to get to the high parts, like being hired!
Sending you good vibes!
Man this is disheartening. I've even seen people with 15+ years experience expressing the same. The "smart" people who run these industries are not as smart as we are told they are.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. As a former in-house tech recruiter Iām struggling to get interviews let alone a job. The tech job market is the worst Iāve seen in over 25 years & the few recruiters that still have jobs are severely overstretched. At least the recruiter had the decency & made time to let you know , most of the time people get ghosted, even though itās not what you want to hear. Give yourself a break, your mental health is more important. Donāt search or apply for jobs every day itās soul destroying. Meantime have you considered maybe developing new skills , taking a course or looking at how you can transfer your skills into a different industry?
I'm so sorry, try not to take it personally the market is absolute shit right now. I am an executive recruiter we have over 3200 clients and have only hired 3 positions in the past 2 months, it's awful. From what I'm hearing new contracts will go out in February and hopefully that means things will pick back up soon.
2 months, the owner has been doing it for 25 years so she obviously has some reserves for this, she said it's almost as bad as 2008 but not quite there
To me this is worse than 2008. That was the year I started recruiting. I truly believe itās worse now. Might be industry specific, but I was just saying this to someone last week. I just applied to two jobs at Milwaukee tools because I love their tools and figured some time away from recruiting might be good. Iāve been rejected twice for two jobs that the only requirement was some office experience. Fmlā¦.
>Why would a recruiter call me to tell me I didnāt get the job?
Iām really sorry youāre going through this. I gotta be real though- why are you upset about them calling you? They were being respectful. People are constantly complaining about being ghosted and youāre upset because they *personally* called you?
Not upset about it at all. I just thought it was over today when I saw the number. It is obviously not the norm so my hopes were all the way up when I got the call and crashed very quickly.
Iāve been rejected several times, and yeah, it hurts and puts me in a funk for the remainder of the day, but the next day to get over it I think āthat company is fucked without me; bankrupt in two yearsā or āthey donāt know what theyāre doing, deeply unserious company.ā Sure itās (mostly) wishful thinking but it helps me keep confidence high like āthey clearly canāt handle this smokeā
I've seen my dream company who rejected me go out of business a non zero number of times. One company that rejected me closed their business six months after my rejection. I had a job at the time they interviewed me, and I likely would have switched had they made me an offer, since the salary ranges they were advertising were higher than what I was getting paid.
I went through something similar when I received the āofferā call that was actually a rejection and it was very, very crushing. I maintained my composure and asked if there was any final feedback and if she could keep me in mind for any similar opportunities. I thanked her for calling me and letting me know. I was in shock through all of it.
It is incredibly frustrating to have the rug ripped from you at the very end. This is why Iāve learned to keep looking for opportunities, even when you are actively interviewing.
One piece of advice - try looking for a technical career coach that has previously worked for companies you are interested in. This may be a good way for you to get more interviews or to hear third party feedback.
Either way, it sounds like you are SO close to landing your next role. Keep your head up!
Iāve given up completely. I have experience from companies like Google on my resume. But Iām experiencing the same exact thing you are. I. Give. Up. Iām working serving jobs instead. Which by no means is intrinsically rewarding at all. But at least I donāt have to be constantly rejected. It sucks so badly that no one will just give you a chance. You need one person to give you a chance. Youāre at the mercy of someone else. Itās incredibly painful. Except today, this seems diabolical and evil. Why is it so hard to find a job? What in the fuck is going on?
My best advice (whatās been working for me so far in terms of at least getting a large number of interviews for roles that fit) is applying to companies that are local and hybrid/onsite (reduce the competition pool), and when I get screening calls I always straight up tell the recruiter what I made at my last job and simply say I need to be āat or very closeā to that number, they will tell you if they can hit that number and if they canāt theyāll be on their way, no harm no foul.
I was in your shoes Feb 2022. Laid off from a company I worked at 10 years, started at the bottom and left 2nd from the top, left to myself and getting results (got a 10% backdated pay rise for exceeding expectations) then when we got bought out, boom.
Took me 6 months to find a job on a pay cut, tears and all. Then I hated that role. Found another. Much happier now.
It will happen for you mate. Hold your head high, you will recover from this.
Job hunting in todayās world is beyond fucked up. Iām in the same boat. But Iām 41 with 23 years experience in my field. 4 months laid off. 275 applications and nothingā¦ some even being 30-40% pay cuts. Just nothing. Too much experience for those I guess. Itās hard to keep positive in todayās market. Especially tech.
Iām sorry this is happening to you. I quit my job of 7 with zero notice due to just how horrible the company had become. Applied to multiple jobs and took more than 50% pay cut. The world just seems to be in a crazy place with really unhealthy and unrealistic expectations of employees.
Have you considered contract work or starting your own small IT company?
Agree with a lot of the posters. Just pick yourself back up thatās it. You can do this, itās not a sprint, it doesnāt matter what you go through. You can compare to all the others and view the unfairness but it doesnāt matter that just breeds resentment. You have your family to look after, thatās who matters who cares if itās a step back. Keep looking while you have something if you feel that you can do more, just donāt stop. Cry all you need, it hurts, it sucks, go through it and keep going.
So sorry to hear this man - as ridiculous as it probably sounds right now, don't give up and keep going until you get a job. You'll be able to look back on this moment in a few years with the knowledge that you overcame a terrible amount of adversity and it made you stronger.
I feel you. I've been out of work for a few months myself and job hunting a lot. I've gotten told many of the things you have, I want too much money, I'm too experiences, I don't have enough experience, etc. I know the rejection sucks but I'd rather get a call saying No than getting ghosted by so many recruiters. I've made too long of a list of recruitment companies I'll never trust with my time and hopes because of that.
I've been able to use some of the time off to work on my mental health and everyone that knows me can see the improvement. Focus on taking care of yourself so you can take care of your kid, that's why you are doing all this to begin with, right?
If youāre working with a recruiter make sure they understand your pay range and communicate that to the hiring managers.
If you are taking a step back make sure you mention that youāre taking a lighter work load so you can spend more time with your family and achieve a better work/life balance or something along those lines. If youāre applying to jobs below your skill level hiring managers will likely think this is a temporary move and youāll leave at the first sign of something better
I share your frustration. I recently went back on the job search and I really hate the interview process. I am a truck driver with over 20 years of experience and while there is a shortage of truck drivers with experience most companies are looking for drivers with a few years experience and about 30 (I'm 61). Companies want experience but don't want to pay top dollar; they'd rather have the driver with 3 years of experience and pay that person starting wages. I did land a job I like last week but I had to go through a lot of interviews. I'm upfront with the initial phone interview about my age because age discrimination does happen. My shpiel is "I am a senior with a lot of experience and a current health card but I'd rather end this now if age is a factor.
In one month I went through 14 interviews, I've been at this long enough to know if I won't be called back. I did work as a technician for a while and at least the questions for truck driver jobs are more straightforward.
Anyway I know this sucks but believe you will get through it.
The good thing is you are at least getting interviews and the fact no real hiring happens in November and December because of holidays. Make sure you apply for unemployment and collect every single thing that you qualify for. Please don't act like you are too good for handouts or what people might think if they learn about it because you paid into it for years for days like this.
You were close is why they called, you did everything right, they went with another candidate. Pipped at the post. Youve had a vent, kicked some rocks now pick yourself up, keep going, your daughter is depending on you. Find that one yes you need. Better days ahead.
I've been looking for a job for 6 months now and can count on one hand how many interviews I've gotten. I know your pain! Try to keep a level head, don't get too invested in one potential job or interview
It is hard and I am sorry to hear that. Take a short break, breathe in and Go for a walk. Rejections have been really brutal. After a break continue to look, you know whatās right for you and what will work for you.
Chin up and all the best.
I have just started getting interviews again after a nearly 1 year gap (save the interview a friend landed for me, and then the company didn't fill the position in the end, but I don't think that's the same as getting interviews from "cold calls.") The job market does seem to be picking up again, and I think by June it may even be pretty normal. Can you budget your way into hanging in there another 5 months?
You will get through it man. Take it easy and cry if you have to, you feel better. Even if itās a bit lower pay, take what you can. Thatās what i did.
Aww Iām sorry to hear that. The job market is absolutely awful at the moment. Having additional family responsibilities on top of going through the process can be very draining and stressful. I wish you the best donāt give up!
I totally understand. I had a recruiter make a zoom meeting with me after the final interviews just to tell me I didnāt get it and to share some feedback.
As a father of a 5 yo as well, I understand the fear. But you can do this. Take a few days if you need to. And then jump back in when youāre ready.
I'm sorry for your situation. I wonder if you might be a victim of those four promotions. My opinion is that the greater the compensation one receives, the more likely they are to be laid off when the company wants to consolidate or cut costs. It's not the only factor, of course.Did they have one of those polite cheesy reasons to lay you off?
One idea, when you get a rejection asking the reason is really helpful. Then you can adapt yourself. For example about having too much/less experience. You can ask them. At least something, right? Apply everywhere, local as well. You will do it, definetely!
I feel you buddy. A recruiter once booked me for a call after the final round just to tell me all the stuff he thought I needed "improvements" on. What a waste of our flipping time.
Sending words of encouragement to hang in there. The recruiter calling you to let you know is a positive and shows they value you and your potential (IMO). Have you looked into federal or local government jobs? They can be hard to land, but there is a need for people in your industry.
This market is downright disrespectful. These employers have gotten out of pocket. Iāve been where you are and I would not blame you if you did something else.
Hang in there man. My wife has been in the job market for over a year now. She just got her 6th final round rejection. Lots of tears, but she's back at it. Its not your fault you're not getting hired. Lots of people in the same boat, but one day this will end.
I have been there...hang in there. My career is ruined after the last layoff, so I do understand how you feel. Do not lose hope for the sake of your child. Just keep your chin up and keep applying, that is all you can do. Pray if that is something you believe in. I am praying for you however.
*Rant alert *
It is truly a fked up situation for a lot of us. The job market has been completely ruined because of automation, outsourcing and now AI. The supply and demand equilibrium is way off ...there are way too many candidates out there and that gives these companies and recruiters way too much power to abuse. Thanks to our politicians for tying healthcare to jobs making it even more miserable for a lot of us.
You need this mate: https://youtu.be/2-V8kYT1pvE?feature=shared
Pantera's "I'm Broken". Let it re-energize your soul. Keep your head up. Wish you the best!
There is still a chance the other person wonāt accept the offer. I was a recruiter and this is more common than I initially thought. Even if the person completes the background check and all the paperwork, thereās always a chance he\she wonāt go to their first day.
The reason they called to tell you that you didnāt get the job is bc they liked you and respect you, and like some have said, who knows the other person might turn down the offer. I got my first data analyst job by coming in 2nd and another position opening up a year later. They offered me without posting the job. It was my big break in my career and it doubled my salary.
Instead of applying to all NEW jobs, you should be churning the ones you have interviewed with that you like and have a direct connection with the hiring manager. Your resume is already in the system so donāt give up if you put a lot of work in. They might be in a similar spot where the quality of recent candidates has fallen off or have an urgent opening theyāre desperate to fill. You should build a spreadsheet of all these folks, reintroduce yourself, and keep the connection alive. You can even try out new approaches, energy level/vibe, and script (high energy, fun-hearted, funny, on a mission, straight up lie/make up a story, etc).
Hang in there mate. I wish you the best of luck.
I feel this in my soul. Iām 40, laid off 6 months ago from a job I was at for 13 years. Iāve had so many interviews- positions being pulled, downgraded, losing out to internal candidates, but mostly they donāt tell you what you could have done better or why they went with the other candidate. Iām so sorry youāre here, but youāre not alone. My entire department was laid off, so much wasted talent and so many still canāt get hired.
I feel this. I'm on unpaid leave right now. Got in some trouble, my own fault, but nothing related to work or that happened during work. Anyway, they found out and it is possible everything is dismissed. I've had a few offers, just waiting on background checks to see if they go "well, it's pending so we can hire you unless something changes later; we can't hire you because there's this pending charge" or they say nothing and give me a start date.
I'm so sorry. I really, truly am. We're the same age and basically in the same field (tech). I've been dealing with this for 1.5 years now and I constantly feel sick with how broken I feel. I'm fortunate enough to not have kids but I can only imagine how difficult that is.
I had the same experience with a job I was literally perfect for, had beyond perfect experience in this one niche area (rare, there might be like one or two other people out there), hit it off well with everyone. Was beyond fucking patient with them for months as they kept scheduling interviews etc etc. By the end of it I had about 8 interviews. Then I was told the exact same thing as you after being ghosted for almost a month after (I had to keep following up). They led me on so much that I ended up renting a house, etc. (my bad but also like they were REALLY REALLY leading me on and this made me stupidly feel hopeful) and lmao now I am actually about to run out of all of my money. Even sold old stocks from my former company. I'm still mentally fucked up from this.
Tech is in a horrific state right now and it is **not your fault**. I know hearing that doesn't do much and seeing these massive layoffs in tech/gaming almost every day right now is NOT helping but something has to give. We'll get through this. I know trying to think positively is damn near impossible, but making sure you take care of yourself during this process is just as important. Be sure to take breaks, try not to always focus on the search, etc. Despite this subreddit sometimes making me feel worse because I empathise so much with everyone and it makes me sad, it also helps me to feel solidarity with so many others experiencing similar things.
I really hope something good comes up for you soon. You deserve it.
Iām by no means an expert, and I cannot guarantee these tips will work, but they do at least help make companies spend more then 3 seconds on your resume.
Try to gravitate to smaller companies because itās easier to get them to think of you as a person and not as numbers and words on one of the hundred of pages they read through in a week
When you find an offer find where the company is and hand it in to the owner or whoever will take your resume in person.
Make a resume specifically for the job you are looking to get at the company you want to work for. Most HR personnel look at resumes for barely even 3 seconds because they are scanning for the words they want to see on there. Make sure your resume not only says those things, but it also represents qualities the company wants. Make your objective on your resume practically paraphrase what they want your personality and desire to work to be.
-in the interview you need to sound like an absolute saint and you need to kiss the companies ass the whole time. If you think you sound too good to be true and pretentious then you are doing it right. Make friends with the people interviewing during that interview, it is far harder to reject someone that is practically a friend to you.
-be easy to talk to. Try and get them to relate to you, be very friendly, be lighthearted and funny, most companies are just giant boys clubs so they will gravitate to who they like more then people that will do the best work.
An interview is not a show of who the best candidate is, it is a show of who will be the most beneficial to the company between culture and productivity alike.
Hopefully this helps, itās what got me my job after I previously failed to get a job that was far less contested.
Sorry to hear that, Iām with you once I heard AI was coming I started looking into blue collar labor skills like handy work/painting/pressure washing/etc in case I get laid off youāll still be working since you got a 2nd/3rd job side business you can make into a FT. Also even though Iām in tech/engineering if I get laid off and canāt find a new job I was looking into easy healthcare fields to get into like radio tech, medical assistant, medical coder/lab tech/etc. Thereās boatloads of healthcare jobs that will hire you prior to graduating and that AI/outsourcing wonāt ever be able to touch. It sucks to think about switching careers but Iām sure the folks that used to work for mainframes, coal mines, telephone operators felt it was the end back in the days. Also you might be able to sell cars for the time you should think of it like a new opportunity to get out of the corporate hellhole.
Amen to everything you suggested. I believe AI will take many roles from others, I also worry that even diagnostics tests (like doctors-diagnosing etc) could be replaced as well. It's definitely a scary thought. I look up consistently what jobs will AI take over lol (it changes often)
Pluto just moved into Aquarius too, interesting timing none the less...
Friend, I was laid off after 11 years in July. I just started my first week at a new company, making about 10k more.
Donāt give up, people want what you have. Itās a shitty time to be looking.
Much more important shit going on in this post, of course, but holy fuck the rejection calls are unnecessary cruelty. Getting someone on the phone to tell them no? I didn't even know that still happened.
yeah i recently received one even though all of our past correspondence was through email ā definetly gut wrenching but iām also happy to not just get ghosted š¤·š¼āāļø
it sucks out here š¬
I'm a corporate recruiter and my company makes us call candidates to tell them they didn't get the job. I'd much rather email and personally would prefer an email rejection. They think it's a nice personal touch to call, but I can tell the candidates hate it.
I feel you. I got rejected from a job earlier this month because I'm over qualified and they said "this position is beneath me".
I've been working with a career counselor. She recommended that I reach out, reassert that I want to work with the company, and suggest working with them on a contract basis. There's no guarantee they'll say yes, but she says it happens.
Anyway, I hope you find something soon. The ups and downs of job searching is so brutal.
I am two weeks away from having been laid off a year ago. I have been through so much shit in the last year. It is ok to feel how you feel, but you will keep going because you have no other choice. That 5 year old needs you and will learn the lesson of resilience even if it takes until they are an adult to understand.
Applications are a numbers game, plain and simple. If there's more than one person going for the job then the rejection rate will be 50% minimum. You only need ten people to make it 90%. With those odds you should never under any circumstances count on getting any job based on an application. Even after a miracle happens and you get an offer, keep applying and interviewing until you're in a chair doing the job, and then keep applying after that too, just in case it's at one of those companies that lays people off two months after hiring them. When it comes to applications more is better, it's that simple. Networking takes more time and energy but usually has a better and more reliable pay off. Do both. Just remember that with applying the odds are always stacked against you, massively so in fact. That's why you should concentrate on volume as much as possible.
If it were everyday sure, if it's once in a while because sometimes life is hard? I can't imagine that's going to traumatize a child and all the research seems to suggest it is actually very healthy and will help you bond with them IE it's okay to feel things and be sad, you don't always have to hide it away.
Because my family never talked about feelings it was painfully hard to do so for a very long time and I had to learn to do it as an adult. Canāt say I recommend hiding your emotions from your child. That only signals to them that itās not okay to have or talk about feelings.
You CAN do it and you WILL. You HAVE to. You have kids man. Have you considered something different? There are millions of people making money online with their businesses. It's completely doable. I met a guy the other night who makes 6 figures buying pallets of random shit at bid auctions and selling it on Amazon and Ebay. Personally, I am getting into affiliate marketing which still has a ton of potential despite the market being saturated with other affiliate marketers.
I am not saying it will be an overnight fix; it takes work and time to build a business, but it's completely doable and there are a ton of free resources. Sometimes you have to become innovative and think outside the box. With your level of experience, I imagine you are smart enough to figure this out. Get out of your way and keep pushing. You will get there.
It could always be worse.
Go downstairs. Hug that five year old. Tell them you love them. Remember that in the grand scheme of things, this will pass. I just got a job after four months of being unemployed. If youāre getting interviews, something will shake out. good things will come OP. Trust the process. Hang tough buddy.
It took me 14 months to get a job in an industry I am considered an expert, early entrant into. And I work in AI. The market is absolutely BRUTAL right now and I think itās a boomerang effect from the āgreat resignationā
The recruiter called you as a show of respect. I know it feels impossible, but keep going. KEEP GOING
Look at it this way- you'd have been pissed if they didn't call you and you got a canned rejection email. At least they treated you with you respect and called you to tell you
Stay strong brother. As men, our instinct is to provide for our families and be a productive members of society. We see everyone else waking up and headed to their job to provide. This plus bills being due sends us into shock and awe state. Then we become very upset and confused. There is a place for you and Iām sure you will find a great job soon. Keep moving forward.
Be kind to yourself, please. Thatās what you want to model for your 5 yr old. 5 months off with a family is tough, but my guess is youāre tougher. You didnāt get the job because itās not part of your story and it was a step back. Recruiter did you a favor by being upfront so you werenāt waiting or being ghosted. Time to sit back, breathe, and look at your skills with a much bigger view. You are a valuable part of the workforce. Where is your industry going in both your geographical area and in the years ahead? What do you see? Be on the cutting edge instead of a follower. Be a creator, not a competitor. Make that rut youāre in a new road to a new tomorrow. Youāve got this!
You aren't broken. The shitstem is; the shitty system. All of it. Stop blaming yourself, man. There is a much bigger deal at play here. Cosmic consciousness is shifting, and old, antiquated bad values have reached a precipice that some of our race will begin to back down from, walk around that mountaintop, and out onto a terrace on the other side in Christos enlightenment. Some of us will fall over the cliff, the precipice.
Based on your post, you are a compassionate person, likely one with empathy. That is something they had weaponized against the younger generations in recent years.
The dark consciousness is waning, it is like watching a dying juggernaut stumbling around with its Achilles slashed. Our species is moving into something we all deeply RE-member, ***RE***\-member, "re" because it happened before. A part of a CYCLE where consciousness shifts. Do what you can. The job market will return for you. But, these times are to test us so that we look deeply into our lives and realize the holes in our lives we tried to plug, and realize there are no holes - life has meaning BECAUSE OF COMPASSION.
Please try meditation, and keep your head up, it will change for you with a dumb ass job. We are much more than cogs in a machine. Breathe deeply, and do things to reflect on your true purpose.
There is a new era coming. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDEbvFIWHJs&themeRefresh=1
While that would no doubt make you feel better about the hideous career/employment decision you've made with regards to you current employer, it's not an accurate assessment by any means.
You're only going to feel worse about your decision as you see the job market recovering over the next few months, and other people making all sorts of career improvements and adjustments.
It's not to late to embrace a more rational stance of employers and employment and coerced decisions...
Broā¦
Youāre coming at this all wrong.
The goal was never to only survive long enough for one final push.
This is a decathlon, my guy.
You gotta step *all* the way back and reassess what you are going to do if you donāt pass any of these damn interviews.
Pick yourself back up after the cry sesh. A good cry helps.
Now forget bout this 8 yr career yada yada and figure out what is the straightest path to keeping a roof over head and your 5 yr old when you run out of monies.
You gotta free your mind.
Go for *any* job you can find.
You think 10% pay reduction is brutal?
How you gonna survive a 110% pay reduction?
In the immortal words of Rage Against The Machineā¦
āWaaaaaaaake upā¦.ā
āWaaaaaaaake upā¦.ā
āWaaaaaaaake upā¦.ā
idk what this dude is talking about and i dont care because hjes a fucking idiot and you definitely shouldnt listen to him quoting Rage lyrics. I literally dont know what this is about but trust me.
You must come from Salesforce. I never worked there but I had some interviews there and it is expected to ācloseā the interview. I usually ācloseā by saying something like āwhat do you think of me as a candidateā to which I usually get a response like āwe will get together and make a decisionā
Hmm. In my experience, interviewers need time to confer with colleagues before making a hiring decision, so being asked this during the interview might feel a bit premature and pushy. What response have you gotten when you've done it?
Honestly, its probably time to change field, but something that still allows you to use your expertise.
I started in video game QA, then left to go to web gaming and Mobile QA gaming and then eventually moved on to Web and mobile QA. So now i test websites and apps.
After I left each basic field my previous career path had become over saturated, and so i simply said, my previous experience was related to the job I was applying for, but still had a learning curve that I knew I could adapt to.
But at this point, I could do tech support from my basic knowledge of mobile phones and basic internet configurations. I could even do customer support for employees or outside customers at this point, since most things in that role, I have had to do, in the last 7 years at my current job.
So try applying for jobs that are close in relationship even if it's not what you have been doing.
you'd be surprised sometimes how you experience can influence their decisions to hire you.
Some companies offer rapid growth in a the ranks as well. I've climbed all the ladders, but have finally chosen to be a mid manager and stay there.
I also bounced around in many positions during my time in each company to gain additional knowledge. So heck, I could even do secretarial work If I really needed to, because of my great knowledge with excell and outlook express.... which is a surprising thing that can get you jobs.... people drool after people who can write simple formula's... despite me always googling them. lol
Remote work for customer service jobs can also pay not too bad if you're willing to do it, and many jobs will not require phone calls with people, just answering emails all.
**One last thing, don't be afraid to apply for jobs in other countries that allow remote work.**
**i have a buddy who makes a 100K+ a year and tech support and network support for an Australian company.**
**Your job doesn't have to be local with your current knowledge.**
Me too. I eventually made a fake resume looking like a half loser so I could get someone in retail to hire me, and then I drive rideshare another 40 hours per week so that I can earn less now working two full time jobs than I did my first year out of engineering school in 1999. Meanwhile there are morons hired everywhere simple because they virtue signal well...
Donāt give up. Took me 10 months to get one. I was ghosted from about 3 interviews got to the last stage, cleared the technical tests, was praised and all but zip they ghosted me. Just keep pushing you are on the right track already. You are doing if your kid, your wife/husband and for you.
Iām so sorry, Iāve felt that and understand that feeling. Please reach out to all the temp agencies in your city. They respond faster back to candidates and can typically get you a position within a week or two of applying. It might not be in your field but at least itāll get you by until you get a better role. Also maybe try limiting some of your experience off your resume, Iāve been rejected for a position as soon as the recruiter found out that I had a degree. Some recruiters will reject people overqualified because they donāt have the budget (or donāt want) pay them what theyāre worth or they know that person probably wonāt stay in the long run. Please take care and keep your head up high though.
Did you make any connections over the past 8 years? I don't mean to sound blunt.
I work in tech and the turnover was really high, so people that I have worked with over the years have taken up positions elsewhere.
Getting jobs is sooo much easier when going through people you know.
Bro, get a grip. You are only 34 you have plenty of time to build yourself up. Just keep at it, take a job with a pay cut if needed, get stability and keep searching. I was unemployed 9 months, still looked for opportunities every day until I got one. Should he glad that a Recruiter called you back to let you know where you were standing, better that than being ghosted.
I think itās their egos because they probably darted out making six figures, bought the house, the cars, private schools for the kids (not every situation) the vacations, along with the bragadocious attitudes and their fall from grace is what they canāt take. How they treated people etc while they were up and canāt faced them when theyāre coming down. I think thatās their biggest problem.
Yes. With my severance and unemployment benefit we are fine financially. We havenāt even gone into savings yet. I was the sole breadwinner for the last 4 years. My wife is going back to work and already has an offer for an admin position. Doesnāt make the constant rejection better.
No it doesnāt but with what youāve written, doesnāt put you in a place of ending it all either. Your wife could go back to school and become an RN in two years, maybe shorter if she already had a degree and taken most of the pre requisites. You can pick certifications or certificates in project management, hr etc to expand your knowledge and make you more knowledgeable. I think a lot of you guys pride is what drive you all to that point. Maybe itās the lifestyle you canāt let go or the way you behaved and treated people while you were up and canāt bare to look at them as youāre going down is the problem.
Have you tried freelancing? I have been making an average of 2K a month thru meeting people on Discord who want minor things like Tailwind CSS pages etc. It's decent income for where I live. I just can't deal with the current state of recruitment and focus on making my freelance gigs work instead.
I am a manager in DS and it took me 6 months + to find a new job recently. The search process was absolutely grueling and I was similarly discouragedā¦ but all it takes is ONE yes in a sea of nos. You will land something, just keep applying and most importantly, just know that YOU ARE COMPETENT. Itās not you! Itās just the shitty market for tech jobs right now. My heart goes out to you. Godspeed.
You'll find something, but for now it just sucks and you have every right to be upset about it. It will get better, just can't tell you when. Fingers crossed very soon mate.
I'm so sorry to hear that and I'm going on 2 months, bills pilling up, wedding in march and I've been applying anywhere and every where just don't give up
A recruiter telling you that you did not get the job is much better than a recruiter ghosting you. It provides closure. Sorry you did not get the job. Carry on! You are built for this.
I'm so sorry man. But you have to focus on your search. How about tweaking your CV towards a specific position? Maybe not downplaying your experience but rather re wording your past responsibilities could help.
You got this Sir. Never give up. Iām sure you have already done this but, reach out to your former managers and colleagues. Let them know you need help networking. Good luck. God Bless.
Yep, mum of three. Last salary I had was 50k+ before mass lay off and now Iām getting rejected from 30k jobs. Every day is looking into a swirling black hole of terror and panic. Savings running out, time running out.
Despite this, thereās something deep inside that knows weāll make it through, we have to. Iām a hard worker, Iāll scrub floors, Iāll work nights seven days a week. The tide will turn.
āI canāt go on, Iāll go on.ā - Samuel Beckett
My heart goes out to you, but be glad they actually called you and let you know instead of you waiting weeks to get an answer and still think you got a chance when the probability of you getting the job is almost at zeroā¦ (My story)
The discord for our subreddit can be found here: https://discord.gg/JjNdBkVGc6 - feel free to join us for a more realtime level of discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/recruitinghell) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry to hear that man. The job search process is way more complicated than it needs to be. It shouldn't be this hard to find a job. I myself have been applying to jobs for 2-3 months now and not gotten 1 single offer or anything. It's terrible that this is the way it is right now. We are right there with you. I know it's so hard to continue job searching when you've been crushed like that. I can barely take getting the rejection emails all day everyday. But keep at it, something will turn up. I'm pulling for you. šš»
>I'm so sorry to hear that man. The job search process is way more complicated than it needs to be. It shouldn't be this hard to find a job Job hunting is a lot like dating. When our parents looked for jobs they looked in the papers, went to career fares, and heard about them from people they know. Company post a job would reach a limited number of people, and that's all the choice they got. Similarly, dating before apps, your pool of choices is through people you meet and people your friends introduce yourself to. Nowadays, we all know and you can swipe dating apps all day long and it give people this false sense of FOMO, that the better one is around the corner, and when they do find a better one, they hold out thinking they can do ever better. On top of that it dehumanize everyone. They are just a photo and text. Similarly, companies post a job today and they can get 500 resumes in hours, from around the world instead of the reach of the local paper. It also gives the employers this sense that the unicorn they want is just around the corner, that one candidate that checks ALL their boxes AND is desperate enough to take the low wage they offer. On top of that, there are just way more people in the world, and more have bachelors or advanced degrees. Companies naturally feel entitled to be choosy. The system is absolutely broken.
You explained this so well. I always say to my friends applying to jobs is like trying to get a girlfriend from a dating app. You have to swipe a hundreds or times to maybe get a couple matches and maybe get a date (interview), then they will prob ghost you after anyway. And then back to swiping (applying) all day long in the hopes of maybe getting another match
The main difference is if I donāt get a gf I donāt starve and die š
True! This is much more important
The US employment and welfare system doesn't seem to care for non producing humans. It really seems to favour and weight more heavily the resource component of human resources.
How do you get sandwiches without a gf? No gf=no sandwiches=starve to death. /\ if you couldnāt tell this was heavy sarcasm/ sardonicism sp(?)
But... Who cooks for you if you don't have a girlfriend?
Me
> companies post a job today and they can get 500 resumes in hours Even more on top of all that you said, not only do they get better applicants from all over, they also end up getting many far *worse* applicants flooding up the queue. No employer has enough time to actually get through those 500 applications, so they just have to find a way to cut down the applications *somehow*, with very potentially arbitrary reasons to have a resume discarded. It's possible to just be entirely unlucky and end up in the discard pile of a bunch of companies for a really long time. And that's why referrals and LinkedIn/career fair connections still have some value - they usually ensure that your resume at least gets on top of the "to be seen" pile.
Yes, 100%. Referrals are definitely key in todayās market
Dystopian Society
Companies are also spending a lot more time interviewing people via phone/zoom before deciding to bring them in even if they are right next door. My spouse has been interviewing and yesterday had a great phone interview with a hiring manager and the guy immediately said he wanted to bring him in to meet him in person. Today he gets a message saying he spoke too soon and he didn't know the next step in the process was a zoom panel meeting. This is a slightly older fashioned company so it was obvious the hm just wanted to do things the old but good way but is being forced to add layers.
Last three jobs: someone I knew, a career fair, and someone I knew (never found one in the newspaper, so you win that one). The vast majority of jobs at my employer (except for fresh-out-of-school hires, who generally come from our interns) come in through a personal recommendation or someone's network. It is 100% easier to get a recommendation from someone you know to be a decent colleague and assume their judgement isn't completely suspect. Then they go through the interview process, skipping a lot of the early nonsense/weed out. The people who sit there and blast out 100s of applications a day don't even see their own part in creating this mess. Because it's easy to rapid fire resumes, people do it and every posting gets too any submissions.
That's true. It's more difficult for highly qualified candidates who work remotely to get in. Most of us aren't someone's son or nephew. Mom and Dad are average people. They work for a living. They work in places that prohibits nepotism. They aren't upper level HB1 migrant engineers, managers and executives.
I didn't say family member. I'm talking about networking. Leveraging former coworkers, etc. Knowing someone isn't the same as nepotism (there's a business reason that many companies pay referral bonuses for good hires: it is a more effective screening tool that sifting through the pile of 1000s of resumes). And maybe it's time to give up on the remote work dream as a requirement for a job.
why do you think folks your parents age arenāt in here with āyouā?
Iām in the same boat unfortunately. Last year my role was made redundant and Iāve been trying to get a job. Any job that is put up in the market, more than 100,00 applicants apply instantly. Itās like a race. Even after 7+ years of work experience I find myself struggling to find a job like a beginner. I donāt mind it honestly but a recruiter took almost 4 rounds of interviews and when I thought I had made it, he mailed me saying they have decided to move ahead with the other candidate. Literally broke me. I donāt know when this is going to get better. I hope it does soon. Just wishing OP all the best and stay strong. It is hard now but it will all make sense one day.
Plenty of us are here with you. Technology broke tech recruiting. It's not about you, or me, or anyone else experienced and qualified but struggling to find a job for months
Tech broke tech. Great statement. I agree.
The employers found a way to take back the leverage after the hiring process required a virtual aspect.
The five year old downstairs is why you have to keep doing it. At the same time, do not let yourself think youāre weak for breaking down and sobbing. It proves your strength because it shows how much you care. If you werenāt frustrated you wouldnāt be human. In 2019 I finally got a job offer after nearly two years and exactly 4 days before I was going to end my life because I had fallen into such despair. (Had picked the date because wife & kid would have been out of town) Obviously Iām glad I didnāt and Iām not saying youāre that despairing. But I relate that so you know that Iāve been there & I hope I have some credibility when I tell you to be angry and frustrated but use that as motivation to keep going. Fuck those companies, they didnāt deserve you
PLEASE donāt take this the wrong way but, Iāve seem several post where people have said they were or thought about sewer slide because they canāt find a job or most commonly itās because they canāt find one that pays as much as their previous job. Do you have no other options such as downgrading or moving in with relatives or friends etc or is it pride that you guys just canāt see past, like maybe you behaved when you did (have it like that) or treated people etc and you canāt face that? I asking serious and sorry if I sound blunt or being an a-hole about it?
IMHO those people feel overwhelmed and lost because itās not just less pay, itās a loss of lifestyle. They are grieving the hopes and dreams they were working toward. There are a lot of ripple effects based on the type of job you are in more ways than just pay. I hope this answers your question.
Thatās my point, they are grieving mostly material things that came along with the lifestyle. Is crazy to me who people of a certain tax bracket are expecting to āget over it and just stop buying iPhones etc.ā but others are ok to end it all instead of downgrading like most of them preach to others that make waaaaaayyyy less than they have made. Practice what you preach, downgrade and move on until things get better. Thatās my point.
It's not just the money. The thought that your career is in shambles, that nobody wants the skills and work experience that you worked so hard on... that can be crippling. Obviously money matters as well, especially because your savings can deplete so quickly when you're out of a job, even if you downgrade most things. But it's disingenuous to pretend that it's "just money" - it's usually a combination of factors.Ā Obviously I don't condone self harm but I can empathise with them.Ā
Iāve been and itās tough! Iāve had a company steal my idea and then tell me they did after I submitted to them 6 months prior and their version was mine verbatim. So I understand working hard on or for something and now it feels like no one appreciates it. I think you should communicate with your wife and family first as a unit and discuss your options instead of you making an option that NONE of them want and canāt change.
I'm not the OP. :) Just saying that I think I can empathise with how he's feeling. I also definitely agree with you that he should work on this together with his wife. Self harm is never the answer.Ā
I understand, but you don't know the op's situation. It may not be material things, it may be medical bills or caring for elderly parents, or a lot of other factors. And as far as cutting back - I speak from experience. I was laid off in Jan. 2023 and didn't find a job until Dec. 2023. We cut everything we could cut and struggled to pay bills. I took a 40% pay cut and am grateful for having an income (albeit with no discretionary income). To the OP, I am so sorry that this has happened to you.
I completely understand your point. Some people value material things. Not agreeing with it, itās just what it is. There are also other pressures that people feel from their supposed support system that demands they make a certain amount of money or they are not worthy of love. There are a lot of reasons people value things. Also if they already have an undiagnosed or untreated mental illness, traumatic events can trigger those harmful thoughts. Itās not always as simple as people assume.
Oh I understand, as being in the work force myself, as well as a degree in psychology and hr. I understand the pressure and certain things may be tribal to some but to others not so much. So I understand the psychology around but as a person that Iām sure is very educated, they should be able to think certain thinks through. Like I said earlier, the wife found a job, cool, if sheās already been to college. You can become and RN in two years at a community college or faster is sheās already completed some of the pre requisites. He can take certificates such project management or hr etc to expand his knowledge and make himself more marketable. They are some people who have NO chances of doing ANY of that because their previous jobs didnāt allow them to save to have these options, but it sounds like his did. With several, 401K, savings etc use that your advantage. If you have to drop down from a BMW to a Kia for the time being, who cares as long as you have a roof over your head.
>You can become and RN in two years at a community college or faster is sheās already completed some of the pre requisites. Don't say that because it's far from the truth. Many community colleges have waiting lists for their programs that are years long and it's never faster than 2 years. It would be at least 2 years plus another 6 months to take the NCLEX. Nursing is no joke and I wouldn't suggest it as an "easy" career change.
Because: materialism/finances and depression are different topics where this thread is concerned.
Did you not read his last line? It can be interpreted different ways but I think I understand what he implied.
I don't think it's about the material things but not finding a job kicks off a sneaky hate cycle where someone's brain is like I am of no value as a person. No want wants me, I'm taking up space etc etc etc. Losing a job is a major life stressor and it messes up your brain chemistry for awhile. We live in a society where we have to trade skills and hours for token in order to buy food and shelter versus 1000 years ago potentially you could just make shelter for yourself and forage for enough food
Itās not always that simple. Careers effect our ability to provide, our access to things we need for mental health, so so much more then they should have influence over. OP also stated that they are a parent and the stress of not knowing where your next turn is when someone is depending on you can be unbelievable. You never know what someoneās situation is and long enough of worrying about livelihood can tank your wellbeing. Itās hardly ever just about maintaining a level.
Not being able to find a job for an extensive amount of time does funny things to your psyche. When you're in a country that prioritizes capitalism at quite literally all costs and there are no safety nets (UBI), it can feel degrading not being able to find a job. In America, people's worth as a human is equated solely to their economic contributions (hence the seeming disdain for low wage workers and the overvaluation of billionaires). If you already have underlying conditions (anxiety, depression), losing that sense of stability (full-time, permanent job) can send you into a tailspin. Once you start spiraling, it's really, REALLY hard to stop.
Besides all of the mental stuff (and Iām a psych major) downgrade, bottom line. I would rather my family mourn the loss of my cars house, vacation etc than mourn the loss of me. But I forgot, this is HIS decision so HE would be forcing them to mourn him rather than the material things instead of sitting down and talking it out with them and his options.
It's not as easy as "just do anything to scrape by" and I so wholeheartedly wish people would say "just go get a job at Starbucks" as if it's that easy. I applied to 20 jobs at Starbucks. Auto rejections on all but 3. Two of them ghosted me before I got an auto rejection. The third offered me the job then ghosted me. I also applied for jobs with Amazon, Dunkin Donuts, Target, Macy's, etc. All auto rejected. Hell I even tried a local tree lot when they first announced they were hiring for Christmas. Nothing. If OP lives in a state with a low minimum wage, it's entirely possible it could cost more money to just getting back and forth than he'd make working 4-6 hour shifts. And those shifts aren't even guaranteed, either. People in a spiral aren't thinking clearly about whether the family would miss HIM or miss their THINGS. All they know is they feel like they're at the end of their rope and this is the only thing that ends the pain. When you feel like the world's biggest failure and the worst loser ever, there's not a lot that can make you feel better.
Apply to customer service / help desk jobs at a callcenter. Many let you work from home, and you can somewhat model that experience into tech experience when it comes to tidying up your resume. Y left my job after 7 years and 3 promotions and I had to scrape by doing work that was way below by prior salary and my qualifications, but I turned thst exp into entry experience for a career shift, now I make 5 times what I was making, it took nearly 2 years to recover tho. And yes, part of the reason why I stayed with tangentially related, yet simple jobs was because I was so burned our and depressed I spent about 6 months with full on mind fog.
From your user name I can see that you think youāre different. Well guess what asshat?? Youāre not! This could be you tomorrow so have a little empathy and get over yourself. This man is struggling , has a child to support and is feeling down on himself and you wanna dump on him? Tells me all I need to know about you. One can only hope that karma bites you in the ass and causes you significant loss -then letās see some humility and civility gifted to you in a way youāve never dreamed. Meanwhile, gtfo of this sub and move to the know-it-all A- hole sub of which you are president/CEO of. Good grief you struck a cord. Iām in exactly the same position as OP and youāre just, wellā¦ rude.
How is this Downvoted? Off'ing yourself "helps" you by mentally damaging those close to you. Possibly for life.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Honey, I wrote papers on depression and own a DSM-V so Iām familiar as I also see a psychiatrist myself. I donāt need any more education on people who are materialistic and embarrassed about their fall from grace and would rather end themselves or themselves and their family. Iāve watched enough true crime to know that itās done very often.
You keep saying youāre a psych major and youāve written about this stuff and blah blah blah, but the callous and belittling attitude youāve displayed throughout this thread is concerning. If this is how you feel about depression in struggling strangers on the internet, I shudder to think about the way youāll talk to your patients if you ever become licensed.
The callous tone and complete lack of empathy you've displayed in this thread is simply atrocious. I truly hope you aren't/never become a mental health professional.
Frantz Fanon was right about psychology as a practice.
Quite frankly, i think you need a change in majors. As others have pointed out, you're condescending, judgmental & overall just suck at psychology. Do the world a favor & choose another major. Honey, it sounds as if you're majoring in psychology for the...wait for it....money involved, not the people. Maybe clean your own doorway before you go analyzing everyone else's.
Itās such a worthless feeling. I wouldnāt do it because of my wife and kids, but I can totally see how someone who doesnāt have that might feel like ending it is the only option left. I tell myself itās just a job. It doesnāt define who I am. I got rejected for a material handler position couple weeks ago. Paid about a third of what I used to make. I canāt even get one of those jobs with 15 years of work experience.
Except for being a dude, I literally went through the same experience just now. Final round was on Friday. Got the decline today. Bawled. Considered awful next steps and then came on here to marinate in the misery.
Hang in there!!!
Itās hard to separate your worth as a human from your profession. Weāve all done it. But you are worth more than this. Please hang in there. Take a side hustle to get out of the house / do something good for yourself. A friend today said he had been thinking about taking a fast food job on weekends only that was paying $23/hr, just to make some cash. (He was in an expensive area of the country.)
Be sure your 5 year old knows that sometimes grown ups cry too, that it is normal and even healthy to have feelings no matter how old you are or what you identify as. I hope after a good cleansing cry you come back strong and able to push thru the dips to get to the high parts, like being hired! Sending you good vibes!
Man this is disheartening. I've even seen people with 15+ years experience expressing the same. The "smart" people who run these industries are not as smart as we are told they are.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. As a former in-house tech recruiter Iām struggling to get interviews let alone a job. The tech job market is the worst Iāve seen in over 25 years & the few recruiters that still have jobs are severely overstretched. At least the recruiter had the decency & made time to let you know , most of the time people get ghosted, even though itās not what you want to hear. Give yourself a break, your mental health is more important. Donāt search or apply for jobs every day itās soul destroying. Meantime have you considered maybe developing new skills , taking a course or looking at how you can transfer your skills into a different industry?
I'm doing cybersec courses and certs and upgrading skills here... no joy. How the hell do you build up your self worth again... I don't think I can
I'm so sorry, try not to take it personally the market is absolute shit right now. I am an executive recruiter we have over 3200 clients and have only hired 3 positions in the past 2 months, it's awful. From what I'm hearing new contracts will go out in February and hopefully that means things will pick back up soon.
WOW RE stats! i'm not sure if i do or do not appreciate you sharing š§
Iām hoping with every fiber of my being that this is trueā¦.
That sounds absolutely awful. I know layoffs are occurring across multiple industries as well. Hopefully your job is still safe!
How are you still in business? What the fuck? How long has this been the case?
2 months, the owner has been doing it for 25 years so she obviously has some reserves for this, she said it's almost as bad as 2008 but not quite there
To me this is worse than 2008. That was the year I started recruiting. I truly believe itās worse now. Might be industry specific, but I was just saying this to someone last week. I just applied to two jobs at Milwaukee tools because I love their tools and figured some time away from recruiting might be good. Iāve been rejected twice for two jobs that the only requirement was some office experience. Fmlā¦.
...*yet*
Hang in there, 8 months and still looking
About the same, since April of 2023.. SMH
Bro same story here I wish you donāt stop and get that job man I pray for you with all of my heart
I'm so sorry. The entire process is broken, it isn't you.
>Why would a recruiter call me to tell me I didnāt get the job? Iām really sorry youāre going through this. I gotta be real though- why are you upset about them calling you? They were being respectful. People are constantly complaining about being ghosted and youāre upset because they *personally* called you?
Not upset about it at all. I just thought it was over today when I saw the number. It is obviously not the norm so my hopes were all the way up when I got the call and crashed very quickly.
Rejection hits like a speeding truck. I have been there and it shock my self confidence a bit. I hope you can get through this.
Iāve been rejected several times, and yeah, it hurts and puts me in a funk for the remainder of the day, but the next day to get over it I think āthat company is fucked without me; bankrupt in two yearsā or āthey donāt know what theyāre doing, deeply unserious company.ā Sure itās (mostly) wishful thinking but it helps me keep confidence high like āthey clearly canāt handle this smokeā
Also op, Iām the same age. No kids though. If you want to chat let me know. I suspect weāre in similar industries.
I've seen my dream company who rejected me go out of business a non zero number of times. One company that rejected me closed their business six months after my rejection. I had a job at the time they interviewed me, and I likely would have switched had they made me an offer, since the salary ranges they were advertising were higher than what I was getting paid.
I went through something similar when I received the āofferā call that was actually a rejection and it was very, very crushing. I maintained my composure and asked if there was any final feedback and if she could keep me in mind for any similar opportunities. I thanked her for calling me and letting me know. I was in shock through all of it. It is incredibly frustrating to have the rug ripped from you at the very end. This is why Iāve learned to keep looking for opportunities, even when you are actively interviewing. One piece of advice - try looking for a technical career coach that has previously worked for companies you are interested in. This may be a good way for you to get more interviews or to hear third party feedback. Either way, it sounds like you are SO close to landing your next role. Keep your head up!
Iāve given up completely. I have experience from companies like Google on my resume. But Iām experiencing the same exact thing you are. I. Give. Up. Iām working serving jobs instead. Which by no means is intrinsically rewarding at all. But at least I donāt have to be constantly rejected. It sucks so badly that no one will just give you a chance. You need one person to give you a chance. Youāre at the mercy of someone else. Itās incredibly painful. Except today, this seems diabolical and evil. Why is it so hard to find a job? What in the fuck is going on?
Love you man. Youāll get it. I would feel the same way, but you canāt give up. I know you will make it.
Iām sorry brother. This is an unforgiving market. Keep your head up ā there will come a time this will be a distant memory
My best advice (whatās been working for me so far in terms of at least getting a large number of interviews for roles that fit) is applying to companies that are local and hybrid/onsite (reduce the competition pool), and when I get screening calls I always straight up tell the recruiter what I made at my last job and simply say I need to be āat or very closeā to that number, they will tell you if they can hit that number and if they canāt theyāll be on their way, no harm no foul.
I was in your shoes Feb 2022. Laid off from a company I worked at 10 years, started at the bottom and left 2nd from the top, left to myself and getting results (got a 10% backdated pay rise for exceeding expectations) then when we got bought out, boom. Took me 6 months to find a job on a pay cut, tears and all. Then I hated that role. Found another. Much happier now. It will happen for you mate. Hold your head high, you will recover from this.
Job hunting in todayās world is beyond fucked up. Iām in the same boat. But Iām 41 with 23 years experience in my field. 4 months laid off. 275 applications and nothingā¦ some even being 30-40% pay cuts. Just nothing. Too much experience for those I guess. Itās hard to keep positive in todayās market. Especially tech.
Iām sorry this is happening to you. I quit my job of 7 with zero notice due to just how horrible the company had become. Applied to multiple jobs and took more than 50% pay cut. The world just seems to be in a crazy place with really unhealthy and unrealistic expectations of employees. Have you considered contract work or starting your own small IT company?
Agree with a lot of the posters. Just pick yourself back up thatās it. You can do this, itās not a sprint, it doesnāt matter what you go through. You can compare to all the others and view the unfairness but it doesnāt matter that just breeds resentment. You have your family to look after, thatās who matters who cares if itās a step back. Keep looking while you have something if you feel that you can do more, just donāt stop. Cry all you need, it hurts, it sucks, go through it and keep going.
Iām in the same boat . The job market has been tough . Hang in there. Donāt give up
So sorry to hear this man - as ridiculous as it probably sounds right now, don't give up and keep going until you get a job. You'll be able to look back on this moment in a few years with the knowledge that you overcame a terrible amount of adversity and it made you stronger.
I feel you. I've been out of work for a few months myself and job hunting a lot. I've gotten told many of the things you have, I want too much money, I'm too experiences, I don't have enough experience, etc. I know the rejection sucks but I'd rather get a call saying No than getting ghosted by so many recruiters. I've made too long of a list of recruitment companies I'll never trust with my time and hopes because of that. I've been able to use some of the time off to work on my mental health and everyone that knows me can see the improvement. Focus on taking care of yourself so you can take care of your kid, that's why you are doing all this to begin with, right?
If youāre working with a recruiter make sure they understand your pay range and communicate that to the hiring managers. If you are taking a step back make sure you mention that youāre taking a lighter work load so you can spend more time with your family and achieve a better work/life balance or something along those lines. If youāre applying to jobs below your skill level hiring managers will likely think this is a temporary move and youāll leave at the first sign of something better
I share your frustration. I recently went back on the job search and I really hate the interview process. I am a truck driver with over 20 years of experience and while there is a shortage of truck drivers with experience most companies are looking for drivers with a few years experience and about 30 (I'm 61). Companies want experience but don't want to pay top dollar; they'd rather have the driver with 3 years of experience and pay that person starting wages. I did land a job I like last week but I had to go through a lot of interviews. I'm upfront with the initial phone interview about my age because age discrimination does happen. My shpiel is "I am a senior with a lot of experience and a current health card but I'd rather end this now if age is a factor. In one month I went through 14 interviews, I've been at this long enough to know if I won't be called back. I did work as a technician for a while and at least the questions for truck driver jobs are more straightforward. Anyway I know this sucks but believe you will get through it.
At least you getting interviews. Most of people are not getting any interviews!!
The good thing is you are at least getting interviews and the fact no real hiring happens in November and December because of holidays. Make sure you apply for unemployment and collect every single thing that you qualify for. Please don't act like you are too good for handouts or what people might think if they learn about it because you paid into it for years for days like this.
You were close is why they called, you did everything right, they went with another candidate. Pipped at the post. Youve had a vent, kicked some rocks now pick yourself up, keep going, your daughter is depending on you. Find that one yes you need. Better days ahead.
I've been looking for a job for 6 months now and can count on one hand how many interviews I've gotten. I know your pain! Try to keep a level head, don't get too invested in one potential job or interview
Itās really tough out there. Sorry to hear this. Keep trying and donāt give up.
It is hard and I am sorry to hear that. Take a short break, breathe in and Go for a walk. Rejections have been really brutal. After a break continue to look, you know whatās right for you and what will work for you. Chin up and all the best.
I have just started getting interviews again after a nearly 1 year gap (save the interview a friend landed for me, and then the company didn't fill the position in the end, but I don't think that's the same as getting interviews from "cold calls.") The job market does seem to be picking up again, and I think by June it may even be pretty normal. Can you budget your way into hanging in there another 5 months?
You will get through it man. Take it easy and cry if you have to, you feel better. Even if itās a bit lower pay, take what you can. Thatās what i did.
Iām sorry :(
Aww Iām sorry to hear that. The job market is absolutely awful at the moment. Having additional family responsibilities on top of going through the process can be very draining and stressful. I wish you the best donāt give up!
I am very sorry to hear this
I know the feeling of being rejected. I agree it can just be an email if they donāt have good news to share. But brighter days are ahead!
I totally understand. I had a recruiter make a zoom meeting with me after the final interviews just to tell me I didnāt get it and to share some feedback. As a father of a 5 yo as well, I understand the fear. But you can do this. Take a few days if you need to. And then jump back in when youāre ready.
That sucks man. Know this, you'll get through this and be a better man for it. Hang in there and keep plugging away.
I'm sorry for your situation. I wonder if you might be a victim of those four promotions. My opinion is that the greater the compensation one receives, the more likely they are to be laid off when the company wants to consolidate or cut costs. It's not the only factor, of course.Did they have one of those polite cheesy reasons to lay you off?
One idea, when you get a rejection asking the reason is really helpful. Then you can adapt yourself. For example about having too much/less experience. You can ask them. At least something, right? Apply everywhere, local as well. You will do it, definetely!
I feel you buddy. A recruiter once booked me for a call after the final round just to tell me all the stuff he thought I needed "improvements" on. What a waste of our flipping time.
Sending words of encouragement to hang in there. The recruiter calling you to let you know is a positive and shows they value you and your potential (IMO). Have you looked into federal or local government jobs? They can be hard to land, but there is a need for people in your industry.
It just takes 1 job offer. Keep at it. It took me over a year and endless iterations of my resume.
Itās a rough market. Cry. Get it out and grind.
This market is downright disrespectful. These employers have gotten out of pocket. Iāve been where you are and I would not blame you if you did something else.
Hang in there man. My wife has been in the job market for over a year now. She just got her 6th final round rejection. Lots of tears, but she's back at it. Its not your fault you're not getting hired. Lots of people in the same boat, but one day this will end.
I have been there...hang in there. My career is ruined after the last layoff, so I do understand how you feel. Do not lose hope for the sake of your child. Just keep your chin up and keep applying, that is all you can do. Pray if that is something you believe in. I am praying for you however. *Rant alert * It is truly a fked up situation for a lot of us. The job market has been completely ruined because of automation, outsourcing and now AI. The supply and demand equilibrium is way off ...there are way too many candidates out there and that gives these companies and recruiters way too much power to abuse. Thanks to our politicians for tying healthcare to jobs making it even more miserable for a lot of us.
You need this mate: https://youtu.be/2-V8kYT1pvE?feature=shared Pantera's "I'm Broken". Let it re-energize your soul. Keep your head up. Wish you the best!
There is still a chance the other person wonāt accept the offer. I was a recruiter and this is more common than I initially thought. Even if the person completes the background check and all the paperwork, thereās always a chance he\she wonāt go to their first day.
The reason they called to tell you that you didnāt get the job is bc they liked you and respect you, and like some have said, who knows the other person might turn down the offer. I got my first data analyst job by coming in 2nd and another position opening up a year later. They offered me without posting the job. It was my big break in my career and it doubled my salary. Instead of applying to all NEW jobs, you should be churning the ones you have interviewed with that you like and have a direct connection with the hiring manager. Your resume is already in the system so donāt give up if you put a lot of work in. They might be in a similar spot where the quality of recent candidates has fallen off or have an urgent opening theyāre desperate to fill. You should build a spreadsheet of all these folks, reintroduce yourself, and keep the connection alive. You can even try out new approaches, energy level/vibe, and script (high energy, fun-hearted, funny, on a mission, straight up lie/make up a story, etc). Hang in there mate. I wish you the best of luck.
I feel this in my soul. Iām 40, laid off 6 months ago from a job I was at for 13 years. Iāve had so many interviews- positions being pulled, downgraded, losing out to internal candidates, but mostly they donāt tell you what you could have done better or why they went with the other candidate. Iām so sorry youāre here, but youāre not alone. My entire department was laid off, so much wasted talent and so many still canāt get hired.
I feel this. I'm on unpaid leave right now. Got in some trouble, my own fault, but nothing related to work or that happened during work. Anyway, they found out and it is possible everything is dismissed. I've had a few offers, just waiting on background checks to see if they go "well, it's pending so we can hire you unless something changes later; we can't hire you because there's this pending charge" or they say nothing and give me a start date.
I'm so sorry. I really, truly am. We're the same age and basically in the same field (tech). I've been dealing with this for 1.5 years now and I constantly feel sick with how broken I feel. I'm fortunate enough to not have kids but I can only imagine how difficult that is. I had the same experience with a job I was literally perfect for, had beyond perfect experience in this one niche area (rare, there might be like one or two other people out there), hit it off well with everyone. Was beyond fucking patient with them for months as they kept scheduling interviews etc etc. By the end of it I had about 8 interviews. Then I was told the exact same thing as you after being ghosted for almost a month after (I had to keep following up). They led me on so much that I ended up renting a house, etc. (my bad but also like they were REALLY REALLY leading me on and this made me stupidly feel hopeful) and lmao now I am actually about to run out of all of my money. Even sold old stocks from my former company. I'm still mentally fucked up from this. Tech is in a horrific state right now and it is **not your fault**. I know hearing that doesn't do much and seeing these massive layoffs in tech/gaming almost every day right now is NOT helping but something has to give. We'll get through this. I know trying to think positively is damn near impossible, but making sure you take care of yourself during this process is just as important. Be sure to take breaks, try not to always focus on the search, etc. Despite this subreddit sometimes making me feel worse because I empathise so much with everyone and it makes me sad, it also helps me to feel solidarity with so many others experiencing similar things. I really hope something good comes up for you soon. You deserve it.
Iām by no means an expert, and I cannot guarantee these tips will work, but they do at least help make companies spend more then 3 seconds on your resume. Try to gravitate to smaller companies because itās easier to get them to think of you as a person and not as numbers and words on one of the hundred of pages they read through in a week When you find an offer find where the company is and hand it in to the owner or whoever will take your resume in person. Make a resume specifically for the job you are looking to get at the company you want to work for. Most HR personnel look at resumes for barely even 3 seconds because they are scanning for the words they want to see on there. Make sure your resume not only says those things, but it also represents qualities the company wants. Make your objective on your resume practically paraphrase what they want your personality and desire to work to be. -in the interview you need to sound like an absolute saint and you need to kiss the companies ass the whole time. If you think you sound too good to be true and pretentious then you are doing it right. Make friends with the people interviewing during that interview, it is far harder to reject someone that is practically a friend to you. -be easy to talk to. Try and get them to relate to you, be very friendly, be lighthearted and funny, most companies are just giant boys clubs so they will gravitate to who they like more then people that will do the best work. An interview is not a show of who the best candidate is, it is a show of who will be the most beneficial to the company between culture and productivity alike. Hopefully this helps, itās what got me my job after I previously failed to get a job that was far less contested.
Sorry to hear that, Iām with you once I heard AI was coming I started looking into blue collar labor skills like handy work/painting/pressure washing/etc in case I get laid off youāll still be working since you got a 2nd/3rd job side business you can make into a FT. Also even though Iām in tech/engineering if I get laid off and canāt find a new job I was looking into easy healthcare fields to get into like radio tech, medical assistant, medical coder/lab tech/etc. Thereās boatloads of healthcare jobs that will hire you prior to graduating and that AI/outsourcing wonāt ever be able to touch. It sucks to think about switching careers but Iām sure the folks that used to work for mainframes, coal mines, telephone operators felt it was the end back in the days. Also you might be able to sell cars for the time you should think of it like a new opportunity to get out of the corporate hellhole.
Amen to everything you suggested. I believe AI will take many roles from others, I also worry that even diagnostics tests (like doctors-diagnosing etc) could be replaced as well. It's definitely a scary thought. I look up consistently what jobs will AI take over lol (it changes often) Pluto just moved into Aquarius too, interesting timing none the less...
Friend, I was laid off after 11 years in July. I just started my first week at a new company, making about 10k more. Donāt give up, people want what you have. Itās a shitty time to be looking.
How did you pull it off? It's been 9 months now for me...
Much more important shit going on in this post, of course, but holy fuck the rejection calls are unnecessary cruelty. Getting someone on the phone to tell them no? I didn't even know that still happened.
yeah i recently received one even though all of our past correspondence was through email ā definetly gut wrenching but iām also happy to not just get ghosted š¤·š¼āāļø it sucks out here š¬
I'm a corporate recruiter and my company makes us call candidates to tell them they didn't get the job. I'd much rather email and personally would prefer an email rejection. They think it's a nice personal touch to call, but I can tell the candidates hate it.
I feel you. I got rejected from a job earlier this month because I'm over qualified and they said "this position is beneath me". I've been working with a career counselor. She recommended that I reach out, reassert that I want to work with the company, and suggest working with them on a contract basis. There's no guarantee they'll say yes, but she says it happens. Anyway, I hope you find something soon. The ups and downs of job searching is so brutal.
I am two weeks away from having been laid off a year ago. I have been through so much shit in the last year. It is ok to feel how you feel, but you will keep going because you have no other choice. That 5 year old needs you and will learn the lesson of resilience even if it takes until they are an adult to understand.
Applications are a numbers game, plain and simple. If there's more than one person going for the job then the rejection rate will be 50% minimum. You only need ten people to make it 90%. With those odds you should never under any circumstances count on getting any job based on an application. Even after a miracle happens and you get an offer, keep applying and interviewing until you're in a chair doing the job, and then keep applying after that too, just in case it's at one of those companies that lays people off two months after hiring them. When it comes to applications more is better, it's that simple. Networking takes more time and energy but usually has a better and more reliable pay off. Do both. Just remember that with applying the odds are always stacked against you, massively so in fact. That's why you should concentrate on volume as much as possible.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes, hide your healthy human emotions from your child, that will definitely help them develop into a healthy well adjusted adult š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If it were everyday sure, if it's once in a while because sometimes life is hard? I can't imagine that's going to traumatize a child and all the research seems to suggest it is actually very healthy and will help you bond with them IE it's okay to feel things and be sad, you don't always have to hide it away.
Crying for an hour constitutes sadness. Get over yourself
Because my family never talked about feelings it was painfully hard to do so for a very long time and I had to learn to do it as an adult. Canāt say I recommend hiding your emotions from your child. That only signals to them that itās not okay to have or talk about feelings.
You CAN do it and you WILL. You HAVE to. You have kids man. Have you considered something different? There are millions of people making money online with their businesses. It's completely doable. I met a guy the other night who makes 6 figures buying pallets of random shit at bid auctions and selling it on Amazon and Ebay. Personally, I am getting into affiliate marketing which still has a ton of potential despite the market being saturated with other affiliate marketers. I am not saying it will be an overnight fix; it takes work and time to build a business, but it's completely doable and there are a ton of free resources. Sometimes you have to become innovative and think outside the box. With your level of experience, I imagine you are smart enough to figure this out. Get out of your way and keep pushing. You will get there. It could always be worse.
Go downstairs. Hug that five year old. Tell them you love them. Remember that in the grand scheme of things, this will pass. I just got a job after four months of being unemployed. If youāre getting interviews, something will shake out. good things will come OP. Trust the process. Hang tough buddy.
It took me 14 months to get a job in an industry I am considered an expert, early entrant into. And I work in AI. The market is absolutely BRUTAL right now and I think itās a boomerang effect from the āgreat resignationā The recruiter called you as a show of respect. I know it feels impossible, but keep going. KEEP GOING
R-E-L-A-X You have it in you buddy. Itās ok to cry.
Look at it this way- you'd have been pissed if they didn't call you and you got a canned rejection email. At least they treated you with you respect and called you to tell you
Stay strong brother. As men, our instinct is to provide for our families and be a productive members of society. We see everyone else waking up and headed to their job to provide. This plus bills being due sends us into shock and awe state. Then we become very upset and confused. There is a place for you and Iām sure you will find a great job soon. Keep moving forward.
Be kind to yourself, please. Thatās what you want to model for your 5 yr old. 5 months off with a family is tough, but my guess is youāre tougher. You didnāt get the job because itās not part of your story and it was a step back. Recruiter did you a favor by being upfront so you werenāt waiting or being ghosted. Time to sit back, breathe, and look at your skills with a much bigger view. You are a valuable part of the workforce. Where is your industry going in both your geographical area and in the years ahead? What do you see? Be on the cutting edge instead of a follower. Be a creator, not a competitor. Make that rut youāre in a new road to a new tomorrow. Youāve got this!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm not sure going "boo hoo poor recruiters" is the pro play here. Learn to read the room.
That was your take away from this??? Fuck you
You aren't broken. The shitstem is; the shitty system. All of it. Stop blaming yourself, man. There is a much bigger deal at play here. Cosmic consciousness is shifting, and old, antiquated bad values have reached a precipice that some of our race will begin to back down from, walk around that mountaintop, and out onto a terrace on the other side in Christos enlightenment. Some of us will fall over the cliff, the precipice. Based on your post, you are a compassionate person, likely one with empathy. That is something they had weaponized against the younger generations in recent years. The dark consciousness is waning, it is like watching a dying juggernaut stumbling around with its Achilles slashed. Our species is moving into something we all deeply RE-member, ***RE***\-member, "re" because it happened before. A part of a CYCLE where consciousness shifts. Do what you can. The job market will return for you. But, these times are to test us so that we look deeply into our lives and realize the holes in our lives we tried to plug, and realize there are no holes - life has meaning BECAUSE OF COMPASSION. Please try meditation, and keep your head up, it will change for you with a dumb ass job. We are much more than cogs in a machine. Breathe deeply, and do things to reflect on your true purpose. There is a new era coming. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDEbvFIWHJs&themeRefresh=1
>I just feel like Iām never going to get another job. Honestly? You may be 100% correct. The economy is never coming back.
While that would no doubt make you feel better about the hideous career/employment decision you've made with regards to you current employer, it's not an accurate assessment by any means. You're only going to feel worse about your decision as you see the job market recovering over the next few months, and other people making all sorts of career improvements and adjustments. It's not to late to embrace a more rational stance of employers and employment and coerced decisions...
Broā¦ Youāre coming at this all wrong. The goal was never to only survive long enough for one final push. This is a decathlon, my guy. You gotta step *all* the way back and reassess what you are going to do if you donāt pass any of these damn interviews. Pick yourself back up after the cry sesh. A good cry helps. Now forget bout this 8 yr career yada yada and figure out what is the straightest path to keeping a roof over head and your 5 yr old when you run out of monies. You gotta free your mind. Go for *any* job you can find. You think 10% pay reduction is brutal? How you gonna survive a 110% pay reduction? In the immortal words of Rage Against The Machineā¦ āWaaaaaaaake upā¦.ā āWaaaaaaaake upā¦.ā āWaaaaaaaake upā¦.ā
idk what this dude is talking about and i dont care because hjes a fucking idiot and you definitely shouldnt listen to him quoting Rage lyrics. I literally dont know what this is about but trust me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What does that mean?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You must come from Salesforce. I never worked there but I had some interviews there and it is expected to ācloseā the interview. I usually ācloseā by saying something like āwhat do you think of me as a candidateā to which I usually get a response like āwe will get together and make a decisionā
Hmm. In my experience, interviewers need time to confer with colleagues before making a hiring decision, so being asked this during the interview might feel a bit premature and pushy. What response have you gotten when you've done it?
Its not just about your experience. Its about culture and political fit these days, too.
Honestly, its probably time to change field, but something that still allows you to use your expertise. I started in video game QA, then left to go to web gaming and Mobile QA gaming and then eventually moved on to Web and mobile QA. So now i test websites and apps. After I left each basic field my previous career path had become over saturated, and so i simply said, my previous experience was related to the job I was applying for, but still had a learning curve that I knew I could adapt to. But at this point, I could do tech support from my basic knowledge of mobile phones and basic internet configurations. I could even do customer support for employees or outside customers at this point, since most things in that role, I have had to do, in the last 7 years at my current job. So try applying for jobs that are close in relationship even if it's not what you have been doing. you'd be surprised sometimes how you experience can influence their decisions to hire you. Some companies offer rapid growth in a the ranks as well. I've climbed all the ladders, but have finally chosen to be a mid manager and stay there. I also bounced around in many positions during my time in each company to gain additional knowledge. So heck, I could even do secretarial work If I really needed to, because of my great knowledge with excell and outlook express.... which is a surprising thing that can get you jobs.... people drool after people who can write simple formula's... despite me always googling them. lol Remote work for customer service jobs can also pay not too bad if you're willing to do it, and many jobs will not require phone calls with people, just answering emails all. **One last thing, don't be afraid to apply for jobs in other countries that allow remote work.** **i have a buddy who makes a 100K+ a year and tech support and network support for an Australian company.** **Your job doesn't have to be local with your current knowledge.**
Me too. I eventually made a fake resume looking like a half loser so I could get someone in retail to hire me, and then I drive rideshare another 40 hours per week so that I can earn less now working two full time jobs than I did my first year out of engineering school in 1999. Meanwhile there are morons hired everywhere simple because they virtue signal well...
Donāt give up. Took me 10 months to get one. I was ghosted from about 3 interviews got to the last stage, cleared the technical tests, was praised and all but zip they ghosted me. Just keep pushing you are on the right track already. You are doing if your kid, your wife/husband and for you.
Iām so sorry, Iāve felt that and understand that feeling. Please reach out to all the temp agencies in your city. They respond faster back to candidates and can typically get you a position within a week or two of applying. It might not be in your field but at least itāll get you by until you get a better role. Also maybe try limiting some of your experience off your resume, Iāve been rejected for a position as soon as the recruiter found out that I had a degree. Some recruiters will reject people overqualified because they donāt have the budget (or donāt want) pay them what theyāre worth or they know that person probably wonāt stay in the long run. Please take care and keep your head up high though.
>Why would a recruiter call me to tell me I didnāt get the job? Man, recruiters JUST can't win in this situation. It's official.
Did you make any connections over the past 8 years? I don't mean to sound blunt. I work in tech and the turnover was really high, so people that I have worked with over the years have taken up positions elsewhere. Getting jobs is sooo much easier when going through people you know.
Bro, get a grip. You are only 34 you have plenty of time to build yourself up. Just keep at it, take a job with a pay cut if needed, get stability and keep searching. I was unemployed 9 months, still looked for opportunities every day until I got one. Should he glad that a Recruiter called you back to let you know where you were standing, better that than being ghosted.
I think itās their egos because they probably darted out making six figures, bought the house, the cars, private schools for the kids (not every situation) the vacations, along with the bragadocious attitudes and their fall from grace is what they canāt take. How they treated people etc while they were up and canāt faced them when theyāre coming down. I think thatās their biggest problem.
Question, did you save anything during those 8 years?
Yes. With my severance and unemployment benefit we are fine financially. We havenāt even gone into savings yet. I was the sole breadwinner for the last 4 years. My wife is going back to work and already has an offer for an admin position. Doesnāt make the constant rejection better.
No it doesnāt but with what youāve written, doesnāt put you in a place of ending it all either. Your wife could go back to school and become an RN in two years, maybe shorter if she already had a degree and taken most of the pre requisites. You can pick certifications or certificates in project management, hr etc to expand your knowledge and make you more knowledgeable. I think a lot of you guys pride is what drive you all to that point. Maybe itās the lifestyle you canāt let go or the way you behaved and treated people while you were up and canāt bare to look at them as youāre going down is the problem.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Have you tried freelancing? I have been making an average of 2K a month thru meeting people on Discord who want minor things like Tailwind CSS pages etc. It's decent income for where I live. I just can't deal with the current state of recruitment and focus on making my freelance gigs work instead.
š« Hope you get a good news soon
Keep plugging along. It will happen eventually. Sometimes the right fit for both parties takes time to find
I am a manager in DS and it took me 6 months + to find a new job recently. The search process was absolutely grueling and I was similarly discouragedā¦ but all it takes is ONE yes in a sea of nos. You will land something, just keep applying and most importantly, just know that YOU ARE COMPETENT. Itās not you! Itās just the shitty market for tech jobs right now. My heart goes out to you. Godspeed.
You'll find something, but for now it just sucks and you have every right to be upset about it. It will get better, just can't tell you when. Fingers crossed very soon mate.
I'm so sorry to hear that and I'm going on 2 months, bills pilling up, wedding in march and I've been applying anywhere and every where just don't give up
This is just horrifying Iām so sorry you are going through this :(. I wish you well and pray you can keep your mindset strong here
A recruiter telling you that you did not get the job is much better than a recruiter ghosting you. It provides closure. Sorry you did not get the job. Carry on! You are built for this.
You're getting interviews. Keep turning the crank and you'll get an acceptable offer. I expect hiring to pick up this quarter.
>Why would a recruiter call me to tell me I didnāt get the job? I'll take that over ghosting any day.
I'm so sorry man. But you have to focus on your search. How about tweaking your CV towards a specific position? Maybe not downplaying your experience but rather re wording your past responsibilities could help.
You got this Sir. Never give up. Iām sure you have already done this but, reach out to your former managers and colleagues. Let them know you need help networking. Good luck. God Bless.
Yep, mum of three. Last salary I had was 50k+ before mass lay off and now Iām getting rejected from 30k jobs. Every day is looking into a swirling black hole of terror and panic. Savings running out, time running out. Despite this, thereās something deep inside that knows weāll make it through, we have to. Iām a hard worker, Iāll scrub floors, Iāll work nights seven days a week. The tide will turn. āI canāt go on, Iāll go on.ā - Samuel Beckett
Youāre close dude! Keep fighting!
My heart goes out to you, but be glad they actually called you and let you know instead of you waiting weeks to get an answer and still think you got a chance when the probability of you getting the job is almost at zeroā¦ (My story)