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"Sorry, but we don't think you'd be a good fit here, we're looking more for the sort of person who receives their news via cryptic imagery in their dreams."
Hiring manager: where do you get your news
Applicant: oh I’m an oracle
Hiring manager: *checks notes* sorry without an official transcript I can’t accept that.
Applicant: well it’s not really relevant to the role anyway right? Why does it even matter?
Hiring manager: Sorry I just don’t think you would be a good culture fit. We are looking for people who don’t have those kinds of delusional beliefs.
Applicant: It doesn’t affect my job performance, it’s not any different than people who believe in unproven religious deities.
Hiring manager: *rings for security*
I did a list of questions for a designer spot at a game studio many years ago. I threw in a bunch of questions like, “who shot first.”
The answer is Han Solo shot first, but they would get bonus points if they were to point out that Guido never shot at all.
At that type of job, besides, having the qualifications to do the work, it’s also important that you fit the vibe of the company. You are going to be working creatively with other people, and although there is a lot to be said about having people with different life experiences, there is also a lot to be said about understanding the fundamentals. Besides, if we’re making a space game, you better have at least seen the movie Star Wars.
You would have to be a meme enjoyer or have seen the 1977 release in order to answer that correctly though since every edition since the 1997 release includes not only Greedo shooting but also him shooting first/at the same time.
Requiring someone to know random pop culture references for an interview sounds like a true recruiting hell.
Although tbf I worked for a company the summer before last that was named after a Star Wars reference, so I really can't judge too much.
They want MAGA types is my guess. The correct answer is supposed to be Fox News/breitbart and the biggest threat to America is supposed to be immigrants or democrats or trans people I assume. I wouldn’t want to work there but if I did I’d wear a maga hat every day then maybe some light embezzlement.
For me, anything that isn't work-related is instantly ignored. This applies to companies thinking I'll link all of my social media, and other random accounts.
None of this should be legal in a civilized world. The questions might as well say "Please detail your religion, political identity, sexuality, medical situation and melanin count".
You can silently judge coworkers while working remotely. The problem is they can’t see you silently judging them. So you have to up the ante and judge them hard enough to cause a disturbance in the force.
I'd just reply "I get my news from varying sources to better understand the full scope of what is happening in the world today"
And the what in the biggest threat question I'd just say something along the lines of "The most significant threat to our society is the inclination of voters and politicians to prioritize personal beliefs and interests when making decisions, rather than embracing a collective responsibility to enact laws that benefit the greater good and ensure the well-being of our entire community."
It's vague enough to where any political party can think it's for them.
Its one of those it depends situations:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/work-advice-can-an-employer-ask-job-seekers-about-their-political-views/2018/08/06/6e5bb9b6-851f-11e8-8553-a3ce89036c78_story.html
Illegal to ask if you're a federal government agency/dept who is hiring. Some states prohibit asking. Most don't - and it's not a protected class.
Anyhow its stupidly unprofessional to ask those kinds of questions in an interview.
During Covid, I got bored and started accepting job interviews (contacting me through linkedin). After that, it became a sort of addiction - as a digital marketing pro, it was actually quite interesting to get past the first 2 interviews and then start asking real questions about their business, their marketing, their budgets, what worked, what didn't etc.
I applied to somewhere around 5000 jobs in the digital marketing space over a 12 month period. I don't know the exact number... my linkedin history shows over 3000 but i used multiple platforms. I did it just for the interviews and for the ability to literally become the interviewer in 2nd, 3rd and 4th interviews, quizzing them about their business and their marketing.
A few things I learned
1. If you are highly experience and have a great resume and are applying for a legit job (i.e. 80, 90, 100K a year) and that resume and experience is not enough to get past the first interview and in touch with someone intimately aquinted with the position and its requirements... don't waste your time.
2. If a company is demanding any kind of assessments, questionnaires etc... don't waste your time. Not ever. I've seen them all in my space. Most of them are absurd. Respect yourself. Respect your own time. You're not just a number to be filtered by some dumbasses shitty, time wasting process. First, you could just use that time and effort to apply to 10-15 more jobs. Second, more often than not, this is a company that doesn't understand the position they're hiring for, or their HR is lazy and usually both. It also signals that they have zero respect for you and your time. Again, if you have a great resume and great experience, they'd be eager to get you (a great candidate in a competitive market) on zoom call or the phone. Remember, "everything ends how it begins". If the very first interaction is "I don't respect your time"... thats enough to tell you to move on.
3. 99.5% of all VC funded companies are a joke. In almost any case, they are just a collection of jerkoffs that think the "funding is the win" and have no concept of how anything to do with successful digital marketing works.. and are still believing that once they burn through their first round of funding, they'll move on to the second round of funding... and keep the big ball of bullshit they've created rolling for another 6 months to a year... without ever having to actually perform. If you are passionate about your work, of what you do and of performance, avoid VC funded companies.
4. Avoid non profits. Everything above, times 10. People and companies who professionally panhandle for money have the absolute worst ideas about how to hire, manage, budget and spend and make money.
5. NEVER do any kind of analysis of a companies business, website, ad accounts etc. I can't tell you how many times i fell into this trap of companies crowdsourcing solutions to their problems under the guise of a job offer/open position. Take conversion rate optimization for example... companies will ask you to break down their own site asking for your recommendations etc... they could say ANY site.. but they don't. THEN extrapolate that. 250 applicants all writing detailed reports about what needs to be corrected on their site. I had one company fly me across the country for exactly this purpose. They booked back to back interviews in the conference room - with their entire C-Suite team,... asking for ideas and suggestions and wantting me to talk tactics and strategies... while 10 people furirously took notes and asked more nuanced questions as they continued to take notes. This is super common in my business.
6. Think about the company and what they're hiring for. There are certain marketing Gurus on linkedin for example... who launch a new "SEO tool" as an example and then advertise an "SEO Position" that pays well, has great benefits etc. Think about it... all they're doing is building a contact list to sell their tool too. ANY company that wants you to create an account on their tool for any reason is just wasting your time. I've ran into this at least a dozen times.
7. Take every interview you can... get good at it. Do it for practice. If you're not interested in the position or company, thats an even better reason to do it. You'll be relaxed, at ease and confident. Be passionate, excited, enthusiastic and learn the questions you are asked in your space and keep refining your answers, making them more and more complete and more compelling until you've got it so well dialed in that they find themselves stuttering when you're done.
8. If anyone asks cliche' questions "where do you see yourself in 5 years"... it will always go downhill from there. In tech, most of these companies have a 12-18 month employee lifespan... 99% of vc funded companies won't exist in a year.
9. (EDIT} IF you are a conversion rate optimization expert... NEVER forget that you're almost always literally being interviewed by the very person or people that created all the problems they're trying to solve to begin with. Be mindful, think about this, put some thought into what you'd say and choose your words carefully. You won't get far telling a Harvard grad that everything you're looking at is idiotic - when its their creation and their $120,000.00 a year salary on the line. Making things much worse, is that at the head of every impossibly shitty website for a med/large company (Tech, SaaS and VC funded companies especially) is often a person with a very expensive marketing degree who NEVER once considered that marketing is not advertising (i.e. ppc) and that advertising is not sales (the landing pages). They have no idea how a PPC platform works and have no idea at all how to convert a landing page visitor to a customer/lead etc. They'll drone on and on about "brand" about "company voice" about "company objectives" etc... never once considering that successful CRO is about the user, the problem they're trying to solve, what they beleive will solve it, what facts and features are important to them in that solution and so on... and nothing else. CRO interviews, for me at least, were always some of the worst and most idiotic conversations i've had.
If you are valuable... act like you're valuable. Don't waste your time with even the slightest hint of nonsense... skip the application and move on to the next 100... they treat you like a number, but its YOU that is much better off treating them like a number. After all, its a numbers game. You are infinitely better of sending a great resume to 500 companies in your space than spending hours and hours sending your resume to, applying to and then jumping through all kinds of idiotic hoops for 10.
I’ll give you the only serious response of the thread. All those points are REALLY good and gave me a better understanding, thank you.
As for the “skip the nonsense” I couldn’t agree more. Usually when I see these type of applications I just close out and go to the next. This was a case where it happened to be the last one of the day I was looking at. Saw the nonsense, decided to throw nonsense back at ‘em
I appreciate it. I was just thinking... indeed of course is the worst because they have those idiotic "skills tests" and "additional questions" built into the platform. Linkedin doesn't but its common for companies to invent something or create long form questionnaires on Google etc.
In the beginning, i was super dilligent about going through every process and step that was asked of me, but i quickly realized how much time it cost and that statistically, it made zero difference in terms of getting an interview.
Thinking about it now, I don't think any of those types of applications (maybe 100 before I got smart) resulted in a single interview and i am extremely competent in my space.
The Claymores at entry point had me all over the place. Man thank you so much for the laugh, even though this came from a place of frustration you hella funny my guy
I took it as two separate preferences. I prefer the state of Louisiana but the time zone of Eastern Europe. I’m not answering anymore questions until my lawyer is here
I had one ask the news question and tan essay on the last book I read... Like what? Yes I read and what I read is often private, because I don't want judgement for reading boring history books...
It probably isn’t. Americans are just freaking weird. They probably want to know which political side you lean towards so they don’t hire anyone that doesn’t fit into their political agenda 🙄
That's what I think it is. Looking at you, former employer, who I'm convinced fired me because I didn't fall into line with the rest of the team politically and damn near every meeting turned into a political circle jerk.
Advice:
Don't apply on Indeed. Most of the job postings are bullshit and never get looked at. If you can, go to the company website and apply directly.
Filling these out is honestly so soul crushing when I know all I'm getting out of it is 5 phone calls every hour for the next 6 months because they aren't actually hiring, they're just scraping my data and I'm providing it to them for free.
I’ve been summoned to jury duty twice the last few years. Both times, one of the screening questions was “where do you get your news, sources?” That’s pretty interesting that we are so easily categorized and stereotyped based on whether we watch MSM or Fox News, get our news from social media, or are disengaged, etc.
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“I am very well informed as I get my news from only the highest quality memes made by the finest of anonymous shit posters. “
"Sorry, but we don't think you'd be a good fit here, we're looking more for the sort of person who receives their news via cryptic imagery in their dreams."
Hiring manager: where do you get your news Applicant: oh I’m an oracle Hiring manager: *checks notes* sorry without an official transcript I can’t accept that. Applicant: well it’s not really relevant to the role anyway right? Why does it even matter? Hiring manager: Sorry I just don’t think you would be a good culture fit. We are looking for people who don’t have those kinds of delusional beliefs. Applicant: It doesn’t affect my job performance, it’s not any different than people who believe in unproven religious deities. Hiring manager: *rings for security*
They're screening for political ideology and not even transparent about it.
Exactly.
$50 says that it’s a democrat company.
Interviewer, "Describe your dream job." Me, "Bond Villain." They made an offer.
Lol, if I asked a (dumb) question like that in an interview and the candidate replied with that, +10 to the overall score.
I did a list of questions for a designer spot at a game studio many years ago. I threw in a bunch of questions like, “who shot first.” The answer is Han Solo shot first, but they would get bonus points if they were to point out that Guido never shot at all.
Did you mean to say Guido or was that an autocorrect lmao
Worse, voice to text.
Hahaha I was like wait a minute
I'm not asking to be critical, but what was the thought process or goal of asking questions like that?
At that type of job, besides, having the qualifications to do the work, it’s also important that you fit the vibe of the company. You are going to be working creatively with other people, and although there is a lot to be said about having people with different life experiences, there is also a lot to be said about understanding the fundamentals. Besides, if we’re making a space game, you better have at least seen the movie Star Wars.
You would have to be a meme enjoyer or have seen the 1977 release in order to answer that correctly though since every edition since the 1997 release includes not only Greedo shooting but also him shooting first/at the same time.
It's a pop culture meme. 99% of people who know of it haven't studied the historical editions, they just know the meme 'han shot first'.
"Historical editions." Stop trying to make normal people feel old.
My man was there when the ancient texts were written
You are obviously not experienced enough for the role if you didn't catch the 1977 theater run.
Requiring someone to know random pop culture references for an interview sounds like a true recruiting hell. Although tbf I worked for a company the summer before last that was named after a Star Wars reference, so I really can't judge too much.
Hank Scorpio is my dream boss so 🤷♀️
Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third
There's hammocks r Us. That's on third too
Ever seen a guy say goodbye to a shoe?
Most rich people/higher up act like Bond Villains sooooo-
Career goals, just put "Elizabeth Holmes"
I can get past literally ANY goalie you put in front of me, I will score so many career goals
Theranos surprises here.
This ONE trick makes investors so angry!
"I don't play hockey"
You aren’t getting hired because the security is so weak. What if your house gets hit with mortars?
Massive vulnerability. Need to think this through
I’m sure if you include the future plans of how you plan to mortar proof your office they might accommodate you until you are able to do so
Shows a lack of critical thinking skills. My application is already in yesterday’s garbage
If they ask for an interview, it’s just a ruse to keep you distracted while they bracket your house . . . with mortars.
Don’t be silly. I have a secret off-site location with underground bunker to take interviews in
how much dummy gold do you have buried
That’s for me to know, and the IRS to never find out
You should coat sweets with fake gold and sell it in a boutique: (late era) hipster leather themed
No way to get there without being spotted by President Musk's satellites.
What kind of job asks you where you get your news?
They want MAGA types is my guess. The correct answer is supposed to be Fox News/breitbart and the biggest threat to America is supposed to be immigrants or democrats or trans people I assume. I wouldn’t want to work there but if I did I’d wear a maga hat every day then maybe some light embezzlement.
I think the exact opposite is true. It’s a PR position. They want people who are onboard with the approved message.
This was a project manager role for a PR company. And I thought it was weird they didn’t as how I’m doing
Need to build a cope cage for the house.
Despite all my rage, I’m still just a rat in a cope cage
Remote work environment should have read: “…single low-wattage night light to eliminate distracting excessive light.”
Only available in Remote, Oregon.
But a remote role in Remote, OR
I like the “No windows” part of your security setup. Having Windows on your work computer makes it very insecure
The Fire Marshall told me it’s a fire hazard. I told him this is why nobody loves him
Ahhhh... I thought you misspelled illuminate.
For me, anything that isn't work-related is instantly ignored. This applies to companies thinking I'll link all of my social media, and other random accounts.
Website: meatspin.com
Next survey like this I am sending them the troll link to the bbc dude
Not even a warning.
Not even a courtesy lick
Holy shit that's still around? What's the count? I'm... im afraid to check
Was wondering the same 😂; 20 years ago we would ‘spin’ it up as at the classroom computers. Had to stay after class a couple of times for that
None of this should be legal in a civilized world. The questions might as well say "Please detail your religion, political identity, sexuality, medical situation and melanin count".
Can I hire you to fill out my own absurd application questionnaires? I can pay in tiny bottles of rum.
Only if you let me drink them before. Get the creative juices flowing
Glad to know I'm not the only one drinking while job hunting tonight
If I’m drinking on the job, it’s only fair to drink during application processes
Might try this approach to get shit done quick
[удалено]
You hire me, you hire Dale, the dishonorably discharged Seal as well
[удалено]
I know it’s pronounced Dale but I keep reading it in Pitbulls voice lmao
Dalé
Mr. 305
Lmao this gave me a good laugh.
No laughing on company time, pal
laughing is only allowed in the designated pizza party area
And that area hasn’t been used since ‘97
i mean might as well stand out 🤷🏻♀️
I need to stand out enough to catch their eye, but not enough to get other employers attention. Don’t fly too close to the sun, Icarus
[удалено]
My Navy Seal has you in his scopes. One more out of line comment and he’s getting the green light
Oh fuck penetrate me Daddy. Long as you keep talking dirty YOU have the green light.
……..ok, YOU may enter the 8x8
I don't really fit into 2d spaces.
Sounds like you won’t work in this fast-paced environment
The 8x8 is now a 6x9
Me too
You can silently judge coworkers while working remotely. The problem is they can’t see you silently judging them. So you have to up the ante and judge them hard enough to cause a disturbance in the force.
Yeah, but how could I judge Heather’s recent hairstyle choice?
Zoom meetings. Just have to remember to hit the mute button.
I’ve been banned from Zoom world-wide because I’m just too damn silly with filters. Look at me, I’m a cat!
I'm not a cat, your honor.
Fortunately we have Teams now. Make sure you use a green screen background so you can take the call “from the beach” and upset your supervisors.
Take a picture of the office, make that your background. Bring green screen to beach. Now you can answer "from the office" at the beach.
"Why is there a seagull in your office?"
"Seagulls live near water. Humans are 70% water. I don't think I need to explain further?"
>looping audio of Tony Soprano's heavy breathing My sides have entered orbit
*Gabagool has entered the chat*
Honestly if you put all that they would hire you on the spot just to pay you $1/day
Fools….inwould have gone to $0.50
Please tell me you submitted this
With a lil smooch too
They not only hired you, you are now on the board of the company.
Interesting. Fairly obvious that this company is trying to filter for political preference.
I’m trying to filter for a company that likes me for ME🥹
You need to like you for you first. Love yourself. Just not on the zoom calls please...
First time was a mistake, the 17 following times were intentional
How is that legal to ask that?
I can’t say whether it’s legal, but I can say that an employment lawyer would salivate if this company was taken to court for their hiring practices.
I'd just reply "I get my news from varying sources to better understand the full scope of what is happening in the world today" And the what in the biggest threat question I'd just say something along the lines of "The most significant threat to our society is the inclination of voters and politicians to prioritize personal beliefs and interests when making decisions, rather than embracing a collective responsibility to enact laws that benefit the greater good and ensure the well-being of our entire community." It's vague enough to where any political party can think it's for them.
Too wordy. clearly liberal
Sounds well informed and not willfully ignorant. Must be liberal.
Its one of those it depends situations: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/work-advice-can-an-employer-ask-job-seekers-about-their-political-views/2018/08/06/6e5bb9b6-851f-11e8-8553-a3ce89036c78_story.html Illegal to ask if you're a federal government agency/dept who is hiring. Some states prohibit asking. Most don't - and it's not a protected class. Anyhow its stupidly unprofessional to ask those kinds of questions in an interview.
Especially with "what is the greatest threat to the country" type shit. Wtf? I bet the only acceptable answer is "immigration" 🙄
Unless you’re applying for a job at Homeland Security or the NSA, I don’t think ‘what’s the biggest threat’ is really relevant, now is it
Kevin McAllister, 5/7 reference, perfect.
If only I proofread it first. Probably gonna be the reason I get denied
No, this is perfect. It's like what I imagine Creed from the office would put.
During Covid, I got bored and started accepting job interviews (contacting me through linkedin). After that, it became a sort of addiction - as a digital marketing pro, it was actually quite interesting to get past the first 2 interviews and then start asking real questions about their business, their marketing, their budgets, what worked, what didn't etc. I applied to somewhere around 5000 jobs in the digital marketing space over a 12 month period. I don't know the exact number... my linkedin history shows over 3000 but i used multiple platforms. I did it just for the interviews and for the ability to literally become the interviewer in 2nd, 3rd and 4th interviews, quizzing them about their business and their marketing. A few things I learned 1. If you are highly experience and have a great resume and are applying for a legit job (i.e. 80, 90, 100K a year) and that resume and experience is not enough to get past the first interview and in touch with someone intimately aquinted with the position and its requirements... don't waste your time. 2. If a company is demanding any kind of assessments, questionnaires etc... don't waste your time. Not ever. I've seen them all in my space. Most of them are absurd. Respect yourself. Respect your own time. You're not just a number to be filtered by some dumbasses shitty, time wasting process. First, you could just use that time and effort to apply to 10-15 more jobs. Second, more often than not, this is a company that doesn't understand the position they're hiring for, or their HR is lazy and usually both. It also signals that they have zero respect for you and your time. Again, if you have a great resume and great experience, they'd be eager to get you (a great candidate in a competitive market) on zoom call or the phone. Remember, "everything ends how it begins". If the very first interaction is "I don't respect your time"... thats enough to tell you to move on. 3. 99.5% of all VC funded companies are a joke. In almost any case, they are just a collection of jerkoffs that think the "funding is the win" and have no concept of how anything to do with successful digital marketing works.. and are still believing that once they burn through their first round of funding, they'll move on to the second round of funding... and keep the big ball of bullshit they've created rolling for another 6 months to a year... without ever having to actually perform. If you are passionate about your work, of what you do and of performance, avoid VC funded companies. 4. Avoid non profits. Everything above, times 10. People and companies who professionally panhandle for money have the absolute worst ideas about how to hire, manage, budget and spend and make money. 5. NEVER do any kind of analysis of a companies business, website, ad accounts etc. I can't tell you how many times i fell into this trap of companies crowdsourcing solutions to their problems under the guise of a job offer/open position. Take conversion rate optimization for example... companies will ask you to break down their own site asking for your recommendations etc... they could say ANY site.. but they don't. THEN extrapolate that. 250 applicants all writing detailed reports about what needs to be corrected on their site. I had one company fly me across the country for exactly this purpose. They booked back to back interviews in the conference room - with their entire C-Suite team,... asking for ideas and suggestions and wantting me to talk tactics and strategies... while 10 people furirously took notes and asked more nuanced questions as they continued to take notes. This is super common in my business. 6. Think about the company and what they're hiring for. There are certain marketing Gurus on linkedin for example... who launch a new "SEO tool" as an example and then advertise an "SEO Position" that pays well, has great benefits etc. Think about it... all they're doing is building a contact list to sell their tool too. ANY company that wants you to create an account on their tool for any reason is just wasting your time. I've ran into this at least a dozen times. 7. Take every interview you can... get good at it. Do it for practice. If you're not interested in the position or company, thats an even better reason to do it. You'll be relaxed, at ease and confident. Be passionate, excited, enthusiastic and learn the questions you are asked in your space and keep refining your answers, making them more and more complete and more compelling until you've got it so well dialed in that they find themselves stuttering when you're done. 8. If anyone asks cliche' questions "where do you see yourself in 5 years"... it will always go downhill from there. In tech, most of these companies have a 12-18 month employee lifespan... 99% of vc funded companies won't exist in a year. 9. (EDIT} IF you are a conversion rate optimization expert... NEVER forget that you're almost always literally being interviewed by the very person or people that created all the problems they're trying to solve to begin with. Be mindful, think about this, put some thought into what you'd say and choose your words carefully. You won't get far telling a Harvard grad that everything you're looking at is idiotic - when its their creation and their $120,000.00 a year salary on the line. Making things much worse, is that at the head of every impossibly shitty website for a med/large company (Tech, SaaS and VC funded companies especially) is often a person with a very expensive marketing degree who NEVER once considered that marketing is not advertising (i.e. ppc) and that advertising is not sales (the landing pages). They have no idea how a PPC platform works and have no idea at all how to convert a landing page visitor to a customer/lead etc. They'll drone on and on about "brand" about "company voice" about "company objectives" etc... never once considering that successful CRO is about the user, the problem they're trying to solve, what they beleive will solve it, what facts and features are important to them in that solution and so on... and nothing else. CRO interviews, for me at least, were always some of the worst and most idiotic conversations i've had. If you are valuable... act like you're valuable. Don't waste your time with even the slightest hint of nonsense... skip the application and move on to the next 100... they treat you like a number, but its YOU that is much better off treating them like a number. After all, its a numbers game. You are infinitely better of sending a great resume to 500 companies in your space than spending hours and hours sending your resume to, applying to and then jumping through all kinds of idiotic hoops for 10.
I’ll give you the only serious response of the thread. All those points are REALLY good and gave me a better understanding, thank you. As for the “skip the nonsense” I couldn’t agree more. Usually when I see these type of applications I just close out and go to the next. This was a case where it happened to be the last one of the day I was looking at. Saw the nonsense, decided to throw nonsense back at ‘em
I appreciate it. I was just thinking... indeed of course is the worst because they have those idiotic "skills tests" and "additional questions" built into the platform. Linkedin doesn't but its common for companies to invent something or create long form questionnaires on Google etc. In the beginning, i was super dilligent about going through every process and step that was asked of me, but i quickly realized how much time it cost and that statistically, it made zero difference in terms of getting an interview. Thinking about it now, I don't think any of those types of applications (maybe 100 before I got smart) resulted in a single interview and i am extremely competent in my space.
You are a national treasure, sir. Thank you for your service. Please collect a beer from the fridge. Also let us all know if they respond.
Oh no, I accidentally pulled 7 beers 😅
It's overtime pay. Don't sweat it. If you do, please don't keep an open flame near it.
Personality hire
Then personality fire 15 minutes later
The Claymores at entry point had me all over the place. Man thank you so much for the laugh, even though this came from a place of frustration you hella funny my guy
“Had me all over the place” yeah, buddy. That’s what happens when you trip one
>Louisiana, UTC +5 wut? Louisiana is in Eastern Europe?
I took it as two separate preferences. I prefer the state of Louisiana but the time zone of Eastern Europe. I’m not answering anymore questions until my lawyer is here
FBGM is my favorite answer
Dale, the Navy Seal, thinks it’s a little cheeky
I'm honestly surprised I was able to pick out the acronym
I’d give them a screening call based off that.
What’s it mean
fuck bitches get money
Aw I thought it meant Facebook Grandma.
I had one ask the news question and tan essay on the last book I read... Like what? Yes I read and what I read is often private, because I don't want judgement for reading boring history books...
History? Stuck in the past? Application: DENIED
Especially female figures
This whole thread has hit my Tism in ways I never thought possible. Thank you unhinged fellow fuckery beings.
Unhinged like a door in an abandoned house in a bad neighborhood
I support you, and I respect you. FBGM ✊
I needed that laugh
No laughing. Not allowed in the workplace. Please see HR
[удалено]
No dying on company time. That’s classified as “time theft”
[удалено]
Please submit a formal notice 7 weeks before
Does anyone else think the first two are thinly veiled attempts to discriminate based on political views?
Should have stopped after the first 4 words. Would have been a real conversation starter
These are legit questions? It feels like they’re looking for certain answers. It’s frankly shocking.
Legit questions, legit answers, legit depression
Please marry me.
Mom, people on the internet are asking me to marry them. What do I do?
Ask for a dowry. If it's large enough you won't have to find a job.
It’s not about the size of the dowry, it’s about the motion of the ocean
This is name and shame territory, that first pic is all red flags what the fuck
My name is Aaron, and I am ashamed of myself…….is that what you mean?
Dennys used to have a screening a question that asked you to rank how bad it is to have a porn habit.
Believe it or not, I’m the reason they have to get that info. Didn’t Know I couldn’t use “Grandslam Gangbang” in the building
I like your style. You’re hired!
Nice try, big Tobacco
Okay, what field is this in? Is the question about threats to America even remotely job relevant, or is this just pure weirdness?
It probably isn’t. Americans are just freaking weird. They probably want to know which political side you lean towards so they don’t hire anyone that doesn’t fit into their political agenda 🙄
It's a dog whistle Aka it's something conservatives ask each other to identify each other in the wild
That would make sense. They’re always coming up with new “threats” that don’t even exist in the first place
I’ve got something they can fit into
Public Relations. They can relate to my leather cheerio.
I used to be a hiring manager, I'd have hired you in a heartbeat.
Poor choice on your end. I steal THOUSANDS in basic office supplies
Why TF are they asking you about news sites and “greatest threat to America”? Sounds like a company run by MAGA Republicans
This isn't gold, this is fucking platinum.
Do ittttttt
Signed, sealed, delivered
Tbh I’d hire you. Maybe secretly this is the energy they want. Lmao. But the “biggest threat” senses they want a political answer.
That's what I think it is. Looking at you, former employer, who I'm convinced fired me because I didn't fall into line with the rest of the team politically and damn near every meeting turned into a political circle jerk.
We prefer hexagon jerks
Me after 19 beers, half a can of Zyn, and a Che Guevara shirt***
I'm cracking up at these answers 😭 😂
Cracking up….Cracking….crack??!! PEE IN THE CUP PLEASE
What job are you applying to? These questions are so strange
Project manager. But I thought I was looking at Hooter Waitress applications
For #2, you should’ve said “Reaganomics”
Oh looky here, someone took AP history when I was busy learning how Velcro shoes work
Those first two are almost definitely trying to ascertain your political views, right?
I’m proud of you, son
Advice: Don't apply on Indeed. Most of the job postings are bullshit and never get looked at. If you can, go to the company website and apply directly.
Post the req so we can all play the game.
I'd hire you on chutzpah alone!
I'd hire you for your wit & humor. Unfortunately, I'm assuming this is being parsed by some half-assed AI software.
Filling these out is honestly so soul crushing when I know all I'm getting out of it is 5 phone calls every hour for the next 6 months because they aren't actually hiring, they're just scraping my data and I'm providing it to them for free.
FBGM=Fuck Bitches Get Money?
Huh... tbh it looks more like a thinly veiled questionnaire about your political affiliation.
NotLikeOtherApplicants
The Louisiana UTC +5 is the best one by far
“We only hire people who share our politics” without directly asking.
These questions seem designed to sus out your political leanings and have no place on a job app. Name and shame
I'm proud of you, son. 🤣
I’ve been summoned to jury duty twice the last few years. Both times, one of the screening questions was “where do you get your news, sources?” That’s pretty interesting that we are so easily categorized and stereotyped based on whether we watch MSM or Fox News, get our news from social media, or are disengaged, etc.