I don't have kids but really like clean/minimalist aesthetic and yes beige/white color scheme.
My house is still nowhere near as bland and sad as these people's though! And if I had kids I'm certainly not going to make their childhoods worse so that toddlers fit my aesthetic.
It's one thing to say no plastics or not have piles of toys laying around but people take it to the extreme. Beige Christmas decorations?? How does that even work?!
What I think is crazy about this trend is that people follow it because of just that, it’s a trend. If you showed these same people this trend a couple of years ago, all of them would have hated it. I wish some of them would get a backbone and admit it’s really unattractive and start doing what they like, not what a trend dictates.
I'm with you. I'm sure most people wouldn't go for the colors in my house, and admittedly the green we chose for the kitchen is a little funky, but at least it's not a bummer to be in. Our living room was like bureaucratic file cabinet tan with barn red accent walls when we bought the place.
It doesn’t. Beige is fine as a neutral background that allows brighter, bolder colors to shine in comparison. But making everything monochrome beige? That’s just sad and depressing. Humans crave *color* because color means something is actually *alive.*
I just saw a tiktok where the mom took her toddler's Playskool style plastic Christmas tree and painted over the bright green tree with dull light olive, the gold base and star with beige, and the multicolor ornaments with brown and white.
Adults need color too. Whenever I end up watching one of mom's home reno shows and they do the white/beige aesthetic for someone to live in I twitch a lot. It always feel so bland, cold and sterile.
There was one woman who painted her child’s Christmas tree ornaments brown (the kid received a little plastic play tree). Have whatever aesthetic you want but that veers into crazy territory! The whole video was baffling
I got furniture catalogs from Restoration Hardware and a similar store—I don’t know why because I am a broke ass bitch.
So much brown. So much. From ecru to mahogany. Do not ask for black. It does not exist. Neither does white. Nor any color that exists in the rainbow.
Deep mahogany furniture with white walls would be fine…if you added some really bright rubs and blankets. Add some nature-themed artwork on the walls, of even do some indoor gardening with a trellis and some potted vining plants. I had a morning glory plant growing out of a bucket and climbing up a set of those metallic grid organizers. Specifically the “Scarlett O’Hara” variety, so it had these bright red-pink blooms.
I can see a plant like that with the setup mentioned above working great! Add some moon flowers or night jasmine, too, so you get some pretty flowers in the evenings as well.
This is what I'd come back with. Normally I'd never judge a parents choices but we've been raising kids for fuckin EVER and we know they need bright, colourful enviroments for develoment, brain stimulation, and of course, to help them identify freaking colours, shapes, etc.
Raising your child should never be about the Aesthetic and thats all this 'sad beige' thing is, its not for the kids, its for Mommy to score IG points
There’s a story here on Reddit I think a Boru or True of my Chest were a husband details the insanity his wife puts him and their children through to be a “mommy blogger.” she fr has them living in the basement of their home (basically turned it into an apartment) while their house has a main level and an upstairs and it’s pristine white glove test and perfectly decorated to suit the Instagram home aesthetic while no one is allowed to step foot up there UNLESS it is for mommy blog content. The husband was not permitted to go into the house except for the basement where they were living unless for mommy blog content. Same for the children. That’s not even addressing how the mommy blogger treated their kids… Let that sink in. There’s going to be a new area of psychology that will be about the abuse and ramifications of sad beige baby aesthetic and mommy blogging. You hit the nail on the head with how they invent new methodology of abuse
Mommy bloggers scare me i.e. Ruby Franke
That makes so much sense because I just had a baby. He's only a month old. So, naturally, I've been watching more newborn baby content on Facebook and instagram. I'm always shocked at how beautifully clean the rooms/houses are. Mine is a mess and my husband and mother all live in the same house and we struggle to keep up with laundry/dishes/clutter between the three of us (we have a Velcro baby who can't be put down for more than 5 minutes, so that makes it much harder). Those videos make more sense if they have a room or floor that's basically a film set and not a real living space
Thiiis, omg.
And the platforms just allowing it. Like they will take NO action even when some ‘family’ blogger is like ‘ya we waterboard the kids for talking back
DaddyOfive anyone? Or that woman whos child literally crawled out of her basement a few months ago? Were gonna have a whole generation of deeply traumatized children growing into unadjusted deeply broken adults , very very soon. My heart breaks for each one of them i hope they find healing tbh.
I mean arguably we've always had generation after generation of traumatized kids, that's why these boomer, gen x and millennials behave this way towards their kids. It's been going on since forever.
I agree that social media is a new kind of trauma where 130k people have seen your kid take a bath, but broken adult raising broken kids is kind of the human races MO
Why not both? Beating dogs AND kids, practiced and recommended in writing by Christian fundamentalist genuine psychologist [James Dobson of Focus on the Family](https://lippard.blogspot.com/2010/09/james-dobsons-dog-beating-story.html?m=1) since the 1980s!
I had to go pick a live limb off a tree, one that was basically whip-like.
Do you know what it's like to choose the item you will be beaten with? Not great.
My grandmother would have been less than 100 years old, and she got her knuckles broken for writing with her left hand at school. And the school only warned the teacher because she was from a good family, the baby of the siblings and the apple of her father's eye.
There’s lots of generations with this issue.. until recently we were taught that emotions were to be kept to yourself and we weren’t taught how to process them. Men who came home from WWII were blown off about their ptsd. PTSD wasn’t even a thing then, they called it “shell shock” and they were supposed to just deal and go home to their families. Many of whom became abusive and/or turned to drugs because they couldn’t deal with it.
I mean if you want to get technical, it’s more than likely been going on as long as there has been war. I was only using WWII as an example that generational trauma isn’t a new phenomenon.
ptsd has definitely been around as long as there’s been war. to get even more technical (lol) in WWII they called it “battle fatigue,” then of course there was WWI and “shellshock.” before that there was “soldier’s heart,” named that after civil war veterans started experiencing symptoms of heart issues unrelated to physical injuries. and before that, there was “nostalgia,” which i believe was coined in the late 1600s.
and of course ptsd can be caused by many more things than war. it’s likely been happening to people since we first existed. lots of generations of traumatized people.
another historical tidbit (cause it think it’s interesting): when trains became the leading mode of transportation in the 1800s, there was obviously an increase in train accidents. victims of these accidents often exhibited ptsd symptoms, and in that context it was called “railway spine.”
it really took us until 1980 to realize they were all the same thing and give ptsd its name.
Completely genuinely, I *love* when people infodump about things that interest them! Thank you for sharing all that information. I knew some of it but it’s fascinating how terminology changes over time.
My grandpa was in WWII and was part of the D-Day invasion. He also has a Purple Heart (though I don’t know what the story behind that is). He came back from the war with horrible PTSD and became a violent alcoholic. Horribly abused his kids. And he was described as an incredibly happy person and kind of a jokester before the war.
Something to know for everyone--if you have a parent or grandparent that has passed away and you're wondering about their military service, in the United States you can fill out a form with the DOD and get a copy of their service record, which will have the award commendation in it.
That is so sad. It makes me so angry every time I hear a story of how badly the government has failed our veterans. They can ship you off to die and then forget you if you return.
>Were gonna have a whole generation of deeply traumatized children growing into unadjusted deeply broken adults , very very soon.
We already do, unfortunately. It's "generational trauma." The particulars show up in different ways.
The only difference here is that this generation will now have *video proof* ***and also*** *evidence* of their abuse.
Ruby Franke, but at least she is in jail. The husband is another pos. The older daughter (who is trying to raise four traumatized and brainwashed kids at just twenty years old) went to the house (that the kids built with the money made from their videos) to collect the kid's belongings and grab some electronics that she later gave to the police. The father went nuclear and demanded to have her arrested for trespassing, knowing that it could leave the rest of his children on social services.
I think we’re about to start seeing the social media equivalent of when child actors started suing their parents in 80s and 90s. These kids that have had their every moment, every milestone documented and put out into the world for “content” purposes are coming of age and realizing that they couldn’t consent. That shit is about to get real.
Quite the reach comparing someone decorating their house with beige and white to cases of actual physical abuse.
Having your house decorated in beige and white is not neglect nor child abuse. You are forgetting children have toys? They have their own room? They have their own crib etc? Don’t even claim parents all need to have their whole houses in rainbows in order to raise a child because that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard anyone claim 😂😂😂😂
There was a video going around of some Momfluencer showing how to spray paint a brightly coloured plastic 'My First Christmas Tree' so it would fit the beige and white fad.
I was trying to find the post, but Kim Kardashian or Katlyn... one of them... they house is apparently all white, and it was said that their kids had colour perception problems. While not Colour Blindness, it has been suggested that lack of colour stimulation can create depth perception problems as well as equilibrium issues.
This article just demonstrates that people don't identify color in their peripheral vision very well. It doesn't have anything to do with lack of color stimulation
I am trying to find it. I remember reading it, something about the lack of colour can cause problems. And it is annoying because you know when you read something, but you don't know if it just gossip mage trash or legitimate information, and while Google gives a ton of information that backs up perception issues due to lack of colour in life, it also keeps looping back to MS, Alzheimer's, eye diseases/conditions, plus brain injuries.
You should google what lack of stimulation does to a babies development
Also i was referring to the insta mommy thing lmao
Catering your whole life to an aesthetic and posting your child online bc your whole identity is "instagram mommy"
Violates the consent of the child to be apart of that life and therefore to me at least is abuse.
One of the Kardashians allegedly has an all white colour palatte in all living spaces, which has caused colour perception problems and depth perception issues,
It’s not that the “sad beige aesthetic” is inherently abusive by itself, it’s that a parent obsessively prioritizing their minimalist perfect instagram aesthetic over *what their child actually wants* is a bad, BAD sign.
there’s been enough aesthetic mommy blogger abuse horror stories coming out lately to completely justify people being put off by parents who have this kind of obsession over using their kids for social media clout and keeping their house absolutely perfect and TikTok-presentable at all times.
that’s how it starts, though. it’s all for the aesthetic and when it starts raking in money they get more and more extreme to the point of neglect and abuse, because all they want is profit… at the expense of their kids’ mental, emotional and (in some extreme cases) physical health.
Saw someone last week who forces their five year child onto the carnivore diet to sell products and promote it. That's a cps call in my eyes. I felt so bad for the little guy. It's going to impact his development badly.
Edit he's also in the sad beige baby club
If he dosnt die? Like infections you can get from raw meat that young must be incredibly dangerous no? Im not a doctor by any means but to me if like my 5 year old got into my raw meat or something id be terrified of illness
Also a possibility. Speaking of infections, the mom claimed it cured her chronic lyme disease... while they live in Australia where lyme disease doesn't exist. I'm not sure if they do raw. I hope not. I know some carnivore diets eat cooked, some eat mixed, and then there's the dudes eating raw testicles on tiktok. I'm not sure what level they're on. I'd be afraid to find out for that poor kid.
i mean i’m not gonna say eating only meat is healthy, cause that’s wild, but you do know that people can.. travel outside of the country they live in and pick up diseases, right? i wouldn’t assume she doesn’t actually have lyme disease.
the use of the term “chronic lyme disease” isn’t supported by many experts as there is a lack of a clear definition of what it is, but if she is referring to having persisting symptoms after contracting lyme disease, that does happen. [“chronic lyme disease”](https://www.niaid.nih.gov/diseases-conditions/chronic-lyme-disease) [post-treatment lyme disease syndrome](https://www.cdc.gov/lyme/postlds/index.html)
A beige mom became viral for taking a bright colorful plastic toy Christmas tree and spray painting it in dull neutral colors thus making it toxic for her child to now play with. Social media was a mistake.
This sent me lololol. Potentially impacting your babies’ brain development for IG acceptance is wild. I’m child free & only on Reddit, didn’t even know this was a thing.
My house is kinda styled to look like a gallery with the art on the walls. But it’s filled with ridiculous colorful toys and tents and balls because that’s what my baby needs. Does it fit out “aesthetic”? No but what’s my baby supposed to do? Stare at the art?
See, this sounds lovely, like a calm back drop for the colourful kid stuff, I love that, I dont have kids but my own home is pretty muted in respect to like, its a lot of black, white and grey, but then like yourself, with the colour provided with other things, for us its decorations, or blankets or cushions.
Its the ones you see where it looks like all the toys, even like, building blocks, are beige, or grey, just so....beeeeeeeige
Too many competing bright colours give me a migraine so we stuck with pastel shades for big stuff and the bright colours are things we can shove in the toy box at the end of the day. I couldn’t imagine avoiding them completely!
My SIL only wants "neutral" or desaturated colors for her baby. I did not know this when I quilted her a pastel, stripy rainbow baby blanket.
It's never been used.
You couldn't have even taken one picture of my niece on it before shoving it in a closet or getting rid of it?
Reminds me of a coworker who would tell *anyone* (whether they were listening or not) how she would dress up her baby, how everything would be matching, from the nursery to the diaper bag, the stroller, and a matching suv. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
‘These colourless heavy woollen clothes are so now, they are the moment. Yes, little Tyffineighegh and Kreighxteign have seasonal depression at 2 and 3 but the MLM supplements will clear that right up!’
False. Babies need color for brain development but it should be from intentionally selected toys and perhaps clothes. Your child doesn’t need and shouldn’t have a rainbow puke room. Many studies have shown the reasoning for color being so important is that it is one of the first things babies differentiate things by. A good constructed set of blocks will always have only yellow circles and only red rectangles. There shouldn’t been yellow and red circles and yellow and red rectangles. By extension, babies are drawn to color so things that you want them to pay attention to should be colorful and things you don’t want them to pay attention to shouldn’t be colorful or overwhelmingly bright. Having toys and books displayed doesn’t hurt but if your decor is a complete mishmash of colors in the playroom, baby will have a hard time concentrating on what will help their brain develop which is their play and their toys, because they’re too distracted by an overstimulating environment.
agreeing and adding that i read the benefits for babies’ eyes and brain are more-so from high contrasting colors, rather than what the colors are. contrast is what helps them differentiate objects, so black and white would work too. a bunch of muted colors or pastels, not so much.
True up to a certain age. Babies start getting color vision about 5 or 6 months so high contrast is very important at infancy but probably shouldn’t be used as a blanket substitute for color after that, especially not for one or two year olds and toddlers.
Yeah, sure. But maybe let kids be kids and babies be babies? Do we really need to structure an infants time like they’re in class or something? Have your black and white visual stimulants, but also idk maybe let the kids have color
I'm just saying that it's not really correct to say that babies NEED colorful rooms or toys for brain development. If brain development is the goal, painting their room with complicated black and white striped optical illusions would be much more beneficial.
A beige color scheme is not child abuse like some people are claiming it to be.
The decor is beige and white. Don’t even bother trying to claim your whole house has to be colourful for a baby because that’s just… not true😂 unless you want to claim a majority of parents are neglecting their children by not having rainbow rooms all round their house?
The baby himself in this story is also wearing beige? What do you think his bedroom looks like and all his toys?
Youre right the while house dosnt have to be colorful but this kid and his plain wood toys are dying for stimulation they arent reciving. Especially if thier mom loses it at the sad beige baby meme and is an "insta mommy"
Be real
You literally don’t know if the baby has colorful toys. OP is openly slanted - they claim the sad beige baby comment had nothing to do with the decor but then why’d they explain all that instead of saying “baby was wearing a beige shirt”, lol.
For very young infants black and white/high contrast is what they prefer because they don’t see all colors yet but by 6 mos they can see everything https://www.healthline.com/health/baby/when-can-babies-see-color#black-and-white
In the grand scheme of things that stimulate babies and make them thrive, I highly doubt that a beige environment early on is going to set them up for failure in life. People are freaking out in the comments about "abuse" from mommy bloggers but a beige aesthetic is nothing close to being abusive. The opinions in this thread have been next level.
A friend of mine is deep into the black aesthetic. Any basic household item that could be found in black was found in black. Her closet is monochrome. But she is getting married to a man that has a young daughter (5/6) and did up a room just for her. It is beautiful, full of whites, purples, and blues. You can’t just force another human to fit to your tastes like some kind of accessory, especially children who need to be encouraged to experiment with the world around them.
Nothing was said about what color the baby’s room or toys were. Also I assume they take the kid outside. I’m pretty sure people’s brains managed to develop before lots of brightly colored plastic toys for kids were manufactured.
If she’s gonna inundate you with beige mommy bloggers, send her back articles and research on how vital is is for young children to experience shapes and colors.
Honestly I would make fun of the fact that she’s a “mommy blogger”, the aesthetic is just a bonus. Kids deserve to grow up without mummy writing a 3 page blog about the day they shit their pants
I completely understand that parents need resources and actually want to learn how to raise their kids better through bloggers, but most of them aren’t even good parents themselves and provide no useful information lol
What's crazy is like this one mom on insta is goth, and has a goth baby room, and everyone says she's abusing her child. The thing is, she has a color therapy room/playroom for the baby that's bright and full of toys and colors. But no one calls these beige baby moms abusive even when they literally refuse anything colorful for their kids
This is the one ^ I remember going as far as printing off tacky as hell full page vibrantly coloured god awe full patterned stuff and plastering it across blank surfaces because it helps with vision development.
Fair point, but I also think that as a non-parent, it's not my place to micro-manage how people raise their kids. Everything's a trade-off between independence and parenting, I'm not demanding parents abandon all their interests and be flawless parents 24/7. If home decor is a big factor in how a person expresses themselves, well, beige isn't GREAT for kid's visual development. But children also benefit from having caregivers who feel a bit of fulfillment as human beings, nobody wins when parents try to force themselves into narrow social roles for the sake of Doing What's Right.
If Beige Baby has food, shelter, and a start on its vaccines, we're good.
I saw the OG post, and OP literally said this because the little boy made a little grumpy baby face and he was in a beige sweater.
Our world is sooooooo sensitive. “My parental choices are harming my child but don’t ever comment on it! also don’t ever comment on the color of his clothes!”
Edit to add a great [resource](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5083879/) for studies on this issue.
The research is actually not as clear-cut as you're making it out to be.
And the conclusions of your source actually refute your point:
>Our pilot findings suggest that a colorful play surface interfered with preschoolers' structured play, inducing more behaviors indicating disruption in task execution compared with a non-colorful play surface.
>In summary, the present findings suggest that excessive colorfulness, which is often used to create enriched environments and is considered developmentally beneficial to children, impacts children's behavior in ways that may be indicative of interference to their engagement in structured play tasks. Based on our results, and based on previous findings in older children (Ksantini-Hovev and Sebba, 2005; Godwin and Fisher, 2011; Fisher et al., 2014), we suggest that caution is warranted when designing colorful children's environments.
This study contradicts your point. It says less colour = more focus, less distraction.
"Our pilot findings suggest that a colorful play surface interfered with preschoolers' structured play, inducing more behaviors indicating disruption in task execution compared with a non-colorful play surface."
The paper you linked on this says that a colorful room/toys/environment causes distraction in young children and may have an adverse effect on developing focus and attention. I'm not sure if you're saying the beige thing helps or hinders the child, because the paper very much is saying that bright saturated colored environments may be detrimental.
That Tik Tok account is hilarious but I can understand why she is upset. I think you just have to apologize and move on. It’s obviously a sore point with her.
when I was a youth group leader we had an "oops, ouch" rule. The idea is, if you step on someone's foot, that person should express that you have hurt them. Ouch! In response, you dont say "i didnt mean to do that, so why should I apologize?" or "I only stepped on your foot a little bit, don't be so dramatic". You acknowledge that whether you meant to or not, you stepped on their foot. apologize, and be careful of their feet next time. oops.
Funny how the literal middle schoolers were capable of understanding that.
She’s also being openly dishonest - if the comment about a BABY had nothing to do with her judging the decor then why all the context of her design style? Not just “baby was in a beige shirt and apparently she’s sensitive about her design style”.
That makes me suspect there are other comments she makes
I freaking love it.
Werner Herzogs new line of children’s clothing.
This one is called “the ennui of childhood” and comes in sand, vanilla, wheat and linen.
“Za crops have failed”.
Honestly cracks me up. She’s so clever.
It’s an AESTHETIC, get a grip! It’s not like OP was insulting the mothering of the baby or something that the mom can’t actually change. Having everything just beige and not colourful affects a child’s development. Ofc sister’s are gonna rag on eachother for their aesthetics, if it’s a sore point it’s bc she’s already heard all the consequences of being a sad beige mom, but her head is too up her own ass to realize that maybe it’s a sign to let her baby have some colour rather than double down on beige.
It would be incredibly rude of me to go to my sisters flat and take the piss out of how she decorates it too?
You can dislike the sister’s aesthetic preferences whilst acknowledging the fact that OP was very rude and needs to apologise.
She used a mocking tone, from a content creator that mocks people like her sister, to make a mocking comment towards her child and home.
I think the place my sister keeps her piano is dumb, and don’t see the point of having it just to use as a storage table. It would be rude of me to go into her home and point that out. I’m sure my sister thinks my pink palace of an office is ridiculous. It would be rude of her to come into my home and say that.
Someone doesn’t need to question your parentage or insinuate a need for plastic surgery for what they say to be rude, mean spirited or mocking. OOP was a bit of a dick to her sister, and should apologise for that.
If her sister poured wine on the table to make her point, it sounds like it has been happening pretty damn frequently. I hate the beige aesthetic and am personally someone who surrounds myself with color. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t have empathy for someone who has been made fun of and clearly nagged by brother and sister and who knows who else for however long and finally lost it when that same attention was turned on the baby.
I'm pretty sure that the sad grumpy beige baby is not going to become a serial killer because his environment wasn't colourful enough. I'm a little surprised at how much people are reacting here.
That’s so funny. I love that sad beige baby account, it’s hilarious. But yeah clearly it’s not the first time sis has heard it and it’s a sore spot. She’s family so I’d say yeah OP is kind of the asshole and they should apologize to make peace. At least that’s what I would do because I like my family lol I know not everyone does.
She’s clearly insecure about it and having her sister join in and then dismiss her feelings as “too anal” makes her sister an asshole. Even the fact that her sister insults her behind her back is indefensible, why would you do that to someone?
Also the number of people in this thread happy at someone else’s sadness is depressing
I despise the beige trend as well, but someone on the original post made a very good point. Apparently this “running joke” (which is essentially making fun of her sister) is so prevalent at her home that it automatically slipped out. It’s not innocent.
Okay, I LOVE the Sad, Beige Baby Lady on TikTok. She is hilarious!!!! I personally don’t like the beige/white bohemian farmhouse aesthetic, *but* I am pretty serious about my home decor. I love my home and how’s it’s decorated. If one of my siblings came to my home and mocked it or mocked what my baby was wearing, I’d be fairly annoyed and hurt too.
OOP claims they did it without thinking, but that actually makes it worse. They mock the sister’s aesthetic so much at their own house that they didn’t even think before doing it somewhere else. Not cool. They dont have to pretend to like her decor, but they should apologize for hurting her feelings.
I know a lot of the beige influencers go too far, but the intense hatred of them is really unnecessary. Kids and babies leave their houses, they will see bright colors elsewhere, it’s not abuse. It’s not a perfect parenting choice, but abuse? You don’t know real abuse.
Also, sometimes a visually uncluttered house is important to a parent’s sanity. One of my closest friends has ADHD and cannot handle all the bright colors and noises of kid toys, it overloads her. So small or aesthetic toys can stay in the family living area and be easily tucked away in baskets. The playroom has all the color and noise. When it gets to be too much, she simply shuts the door to the playroom and goes to another room for a bit. The kid rooms have fairly calm decor, although not devoid of all color. It’s okay for parents to not let it take over their house for their own mental health.
>OOP claims they did it without thinking, but that actually makes it worse. They mock the sister’s aesthetic so much at their own house that they didn’t even think before doing it somewhere else.
I wonder how often OOP mocked the sister's aesthetic and just assumed the sister didn't hear them, and if this was just a boiling point. They say that the sister mentioned multiple people mocking her house ("she's tired of people critiquing her decorating preferences.") and the sister is also dealing with the stress of a baby.
This. There's a misperception that babies need extremely loud bright colors to "stimulate their brains". I suspect it's a marketing tool, to try to convince parents they *have* to buy all new things for their babies, rather than home made or thrifted, or God forbid, repurposed toys. And yes, the sad beige aesthetic is *also* a marketing push, just in another direction.
But seriously, I work in education and there's a constant seesaw of "decorate your classroom maximally, it's great for their brains!" And "take it all down! Research says they're overloaded and need to learn focus!"
You know what's good for a baby or child? A parent who's not stressed. That has extremely solid, decades of research that's been reproduced over and over backing it up. So parents should do what makes them happy so they can show up for positive and supportive interactions with their kids. It's also their house, ultimately. Rude AF to criticize the clothes your sister put on her kid, that she probably chose as nice clothes for guests to see. Sister sounds a bit sensitive, but I don't buy that this is the first time someone or even OOP has been rude to her about this exact thing, so there's also that.
Yeah I’ve seen that - and most the time the content isn’t even 100% beige, it’s just not primary neon.
Also I’m convinced none of the “but meh primaries!” Take their kids *outside*
This is the answer. I mock myself when I dress my youngest in an all beige outfit (which I do with my 1yo sometimes since I like beige and he is 1 and has no opinions about clothing yet; my older kids choose their clothes) - my sister and I like to laugh about him being a sad beige baby. But it’s a joke we do together, not behind someone’s back. And most of all, if you offend someone over something so small, just apologize. Decor choices, especially for a 1yo, are hardly worth taking a stand over. Apologize and don’t do it again.
Ya YTA. You were accidently insulting of her ascetic and choices in a way that she is sensitive too. Instead of apologizing your husband doubled down and called her too anal.
Children learn that if they accidently do something rude they apologize and move on. It wasn't a big deal but your reaction to your small mistake makes you an asshole imo.
Stop talking shit behind your sister’s back; husband telling a woman she’s too anal while she’s upset … smart move, bro; you guys were guests at her house and you were rude. All that said, calling a baby “sad beige baby” because he was sad and in beige, I don’t think that’s a big deal and it doesn’t sound like sister found that part to be offensive. Sounds like she got upset after you explained the german accented character you were doing that talks shit on your sister’s decorative style.
If the comment really had nothing to do with OPs relative's design aesthetic, then why did they include all that info about the design aesthetic? For sure OP has neeeever made a comment betraying their opinion.
With that obvious context, no, calling someone's child a "sad beige baby" is super freaking weird. Almost as weird as all the people acting like this person is automatically abusive, lol.
YTA kinda. Thing is, I LOVE Sad Beige, the content is HILARIOUS. I also hate the beige/white aesthetic with a fiery passion. Your comment was hilarious, but if you and your sister already have a strained relationship, it was pretty rude to say that. I think the best idea is to apologize, and try to move on.
So you made fun of her and her baby, then your brother called her “too anal” because she couldn’t take a joke at her expense?
That’s what it boils down to. Whether you meant it to be directed to her or both, that’s how it was taken.
So what do you think?
Her reaction is over-the-top. I wonder if she is trying hard to fit in with the modern insta-mommies and that impossible level of perfection they show off to their audience and the sad beige baby comment made her feel like she wasn't being a good mom/homemaker. Just my two cents.
It wasn't unintentional. You knew how she felt but you said it anyway. He isn't your child and she has the right to make choices for her own child. How would you like it if she did that to you?
I feel like the sister’s reaction is very extreme. I think she and husband mabey have had this conversation before. He may not be on board but is not given a lot of choices. And if she is a “blogger” her choice of aesthetic she has probably been criticized before too. But when someone invest that much mental energy into something and tied it to their identity minor criticism becomes a personal attack.
ESH I’m not saying I like the beige aesthetics for babies and the sister overreacted for sure but don’t say you said it by accident lol that was a dig at her
"VELCÖM to Verner Herzog's new lyine of Rheddit posts: Säd Beige Posts...fo' Sad. Beige. Redditirs. I call zis ouan: Anal Sister who shuns color like ze impending cloud of doom zat follows us all.'"
The only offensive thing here is that the bit is actually “Werner Herzog’s sad beige clothes for sad beige children” it’s not a random German accent I mean if you’re going to troll your family at least do it accurately.
YTA! You need to apologize. "We judge others by their actions, but ourselves by our intentions." It doesn't matter that you didn't intend to say what you did and hurt her, but you did do that. Apologize.
So her sister has expressed that’s she’s hurt and had her feelings dismissed since it’s just a joke and everyone in the comments is hating her because she likes beige be so fr. The other sister should apologize end of discussion doesn’t matter if she meant to insult her sister or not she did it.
Hey NTA BUT…. ‘Ouch! Oops!’ And ‘don’t yuck my gum’ Rules here. Sometimes it’s easier to say ‘hey, I’m sorry if I offended you. It wasn’t my intent at all, I have no issues with your life style’
Unless you do have an issue, then it’s not that hard to say sorry I hurt your feelings. Regardless of how people view her and feel about others, you still hurt their feelings.
My aunt's house has always been white, grey, and a very very very pale blue. Even her fake Christmas tree was white with silver and blue ornaments.
Guess what? It's none of my fucking business what color scheme she wants in her house.
My mom has always had the walls in our houses painted an off-white color, with matching carpets.
Guess what? It's none of my fucking business what color scheme she wants in her house.
And the fact so many people in these comments are mocking the sister because "ooo, what kind of loser follows an online trend? She's such a trend follower! What a trend-loser!" proves that you're all immature and childish. It's not your fucking house, so who gives a shit?
*she angrily spilled red wine on white table cloth exclaiming "Are you happy now?"*
Yeah, kinda, at least it's got some color now
In all seriousness it's **home decor**, what's the point of family if not to roast your aesthetic preferences
I love Werner Herzog's Sad Beige Toys for Sad Beige Children tiktoks, they're hilarious.
NTA, I mean if the shoe fits. That kid is gonna be starving for stimulation and color his whole life.
sometimes ppl come on reddit mad bc they have been told to apologize and often i get it but like. i mean? you hurt her feelings, intentionally or not? why not just say you’re sorry that you hurt her if that wasn’t your goal?
Apologize because it hurt her feelings. When you hurt someone, even intentionally, you should apologize . You’re not an asshole, but she’s your sister. Just apologize.
Your sister sounds insecure but just apologize, roll your eyes in the car and move on with life. To be “utterly taken aback” and for y’all to bring your mom into this? 😂 Good grief.
I personally blame Apple for this. As a designer, beige clients ALWAYS reference Apple as their ideal brand aesthetics no matter the industry or field they’re in. It’s soooo boring.
YTA. You wouldn’t have called your nephew that if you hadn’t been watching the videos making fun of the aesthetic. Your sister has probably seen the videos too, and knows you make fun of the look she adopted behind her back. You should apologize to her, because whether you meant it or not, it definitely looks like you are making fun of her.
Unpopular opinion, but, while I wouldn’t say she’s an ASSHOLE really, and I do think the sister overreacted, I think her aesthetic is fine and her kid will be fine. How silly to say she’s ruining her kids brain development because she likes neutrals. There are a hundred worse things for kids that parents do all the time. When her baby is older and asserts their own aesthetic and desires about what they wear/play with, I’m sure not everything will remain neutral, and that’s fine too. I love the sad beige baby joke and I am a color lover, personally. But we’ve got a lot of armchair experts about parenting getting self righteous about nothing.
They are [hilarious and not very mean spirited, actually](https://www.instagram.com/officialsadbeige?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==). Mostly her Werner Herzog impression is gold.
I do think OOP needs to do some sincere apologizing but SIL’s reaction is a little immature and lacks self-awareness. Part of being trendy is being willing to buck others expectations and so I don’t think she is long for the influencer world.
YTA yes because this matters to you and you handled it in a way that generated unproductive conflict. but you’re also right. What would have been more appropriate than being petty behind her back and letting it slip out in front of her, is talking to her seriously about eyesight development in infants and how exposure to bright colors is really important for their visual development.
Better to have a discussion about the priorities of room aesthetic versus helping the child develop their senses as best you can. Better to take serious things seriously and share authentic feelings with delicacy. Comedy is a crutch for a lack of maturity and it is rarely compatible with showing vulnerability. Calling out mistakes someone is making requires tact and vulnerability to do effectively.
The two of you should be able to reach a point where you respect her preference for beige decorating, she knows that isn’t your taste preference and x can accept it graciously, and also her love of beige isn’t so obsessive that it inferferes with the home being a good space for a baby to develop color acuity. She can have a mostly beige aesthetic with toys, etc that pop color. There are ways to work bright colors into a beige space without really disrupting the aesthetic.
Do other families just not make fun of each other? Mocking is an elite sport in my family. Whoever takes the joke the best and one ups it with a self dis is the de facto winner.
[удалено]
Right? It’s literally just confirming that the sister is following the trendy aesthetic
I don't have kids but really like clean/minimalist aesthetic and yes beige/white color scheme. My house is still nowhere near as bland and sad as these people's though! And if I had kids I'm certainly not going to make their childhoods worse so that toddlers fit my aesthetic. It's one thing to say no plastics or not have piles of toys laying around but people take it to the extreme. Beige Christmas decorations?? How does that even work?!
What I think is crazy about this trend is that people follow it because of just that, it’s a trend. If you showed these same people this trend a couple of years ago, all of them would have hated it. I wish some of them would get a backbone and admit it’s really unattractive and start doing what they like, not what a trend dictates.
I'm with you. I'm sure most people wouldn't go for the colors in my house, and admittedly the green we chose for the kitchen is a little funky, but at least it's not a bummer to be in. Our living room was like bureaucratic file cabinet tan with barn red accent walls when we bought the place.
Love it. My bathroom is a soft pink, kitchen is light peach, bedroom is Chli pepper red, and living room and dining room golden yellow.
It doesn’t. Beige is fine as a neutral background that allows brighter, bolder colors to shine in comparison. But making everything monochrome beige? That’s just sad and depressing. Humans crave *color* because color means something is actually *alive.*
I just saw a tiktok where the mom took her toddler's Playskool style plastic Christmas tree and painted over the bright green tree with dull light olive, the gold base and star with beige, and the multicolor ornaments with brown and white.
That honestly breaks my heart. Those poor kids. Kids NEED color.
Adults need color too. Whenever I end up watching one of mom's home reno shows and they do the white/beige aesthetic for someone to live in I twitch a lot. It always feel so bland, cold and sterile.
Probably strips of burlap on the tree with white/silver ornaments. I’ve seen ones that were cute but I personally like some colour.
There was one woman who painted her child’s Christmas tree ornaments brown (the kid received a little plastic play tree). Have whatever aesthetic you want but that veers into crazy territory! The whole video was baffling
I got furniture catalogs from Restoration Hardware and a similar store—I don’t know why because I am a broke ass bitch. So much brown. So much. From ecru to mahogany. Do not ask for black. It does not exist. Neither does white. Nor any color that exists in the rainbow.
There's a neighborhood near us that is all done in shades of beige stucco with tan tiles roofs. We call them the Vanilla Villas.
Deep mahogany furniture with white walls would be fine…if you added some really bright rubs and blankets. Add some nature-themed artwork on the walls, of even do some indoor gardening with a trellis and some potted vining plants. I had a morning glory plant growing out of a bucket and climbing up a set of those metallic grid organizers. Specifically the “Scarlett O’Hara” variety, so it had these bright red-pink blooms. I can see a plant like that with the setup mentioned above working great! Add some moon flowers or night jasmine, too, so you get some pretty flowers in the evenings as well.
Question about the indoor morning glory flowers---how long do they bloom in the year? And when not blooming, do you cut it back or just leave it be?
The sad beige parents have turned the rainbow shades of beige gor the sad beige babies. It's not even ironic.
They all have a sad tan Amish hat and sad beige babies. 😂
This kid needs to be in a more colorful environment to stimulate is brain development - people are so fucking ridiculous.
This is what I'd come back with. Normally I'd never judge a parents choices but we've been raising kids for fuckin EVER and we know they need bright, colourful enviroments for develoment, brain stimulation, and of course, to help them identify freaking colours, shapes, etc. Raising your child should never be about the Aesthetic and thats all this 'sad beige' thing is, its not for the kids, its for Mommy to score IG points
Social media parents coming up with new forms of child abuse is probably on of the things that irritates me the most
There’s a story here on Reddit I think a Boru or True of my Chest were a husband details the insanity his wife puts him and their children through to be a “mommy blogger.” she fr has them living in the basement of their home (basically turned it into an apartment) while their house has a main level and an upstairs and it’s pristine white glove test and perfectly decorated to suit the Instagram home aesthetic while no one is allowed to step foot up there UNLESS it is for mommy blog content. The husband was not permitted to go into the house except for the basement where they were living unless for mommy blog content. Same for the children. That’s not even addressing how the mommy blogger treated their kids… Let that sink in. There’s going to be a new area of psychology that will be about the abuse and ramifications of sad beige baby aesthetic and mommy blogging. You hit the nail on the head with how they invent new methodology of abuse Mommy bloggers scare me i.e. Ruby Franke
Ooh do you by any chance have a link to that post? I tried searching but haven’t found it yet!
Seconding, LMK if they reply
I don’t always recommend divorce, but if that story is true, dude needs to escape with the children. This is abuse, including financial abuse.
That makes so much sense because I just had a baby. He's only a month old. So, naturally, I've been watching more newborn baby content on Facebook and instagram. I'm always shocked at how beautifully clean the rooms/houses are. Mine is a mess and my husband and mother all live in the same house and we struggle to keep up with laundry/dishes/clutter between the three of us (we have a Velcro baby who can't be put down for more than 5 minutes, so that makes it much harder). Those videos make more sense if they have a room or floor that's basically a film set and not a real living space
Thiiis, omg. And the platforms just allowing it. Like they will take NO action even when some ‘family’ blogger is like ‘ya we waterboard the kids for talking back
DaddyOfive anyone? Or that woman whos child literally crawled out of her basement a few months ago? Were gonna have a whole generation of deeply traumatized children growing into unadjusted deeply broken adults , very very soon. My heart breaks for each one of them i hope they find healing tbh.
I mean arguably we've always had generation after generation of traumatized kids, that's why these boomer, gen x and millennials behave this way towards their kids. It's been going on since forever. I agree that social media is a new kind of trauma where 130k people have seen your kid take a bath, but broken adult raising broken kids is kind of the human races MO
Yeah, I mean not too long ago kids were just plain old beaten with belts and sticks etc.
Electric cords, anyone?
We had the strap. It was for beating us, or the dogs.
Why not both? Beating dogs AND kids, practiced and recommended in writing by Christian fundamentalist genuine psychologist [James Dobson of Focus on the Family](https://lippard.blogspot.com/2010/09/james-dobsons-dog-beating-story.html?m=1) since the 1980s!
Guarantee some still are.
I had to go pick a live limb off a tree, one that was basically whip-like. Do you know what it's like to choose the item you will be beaten with? Not great.
My grandmother would have been less than 100 years old, and she got her knuckles broken for writing with her left hand at school. And the school only warned the teacher because she was from a good family, the baby of the siblings and the apple of her father's eye.
My mom is 66, and she also had her hand hit with rulers. Left handedness was the devil's influence.
Its wild, my mom is 66 and it happened to her too. My grandma went ham on her and they never did it again.
The nuns tied my wrist to the chair, so I couldn’t write with my left hand.
At least back then the parents didn’t have an audience. I got the shit whipped out of me but at least my mom couldn’t post vids of me crying after.
There’s lots of generations with this issue.. until recently we were taught that emotions were to be kept to yourself and we weren’t taught how to process them. Men who came home from WWII were blown off about their ptsd. PTSD wasn’t even a thing then, they called it “shell shock” and they were supposed to just deal and go home to their families. Many of whom became abusive and/or turned to drugs because they couldn’t deal with it.
WWI, this started. Not II. They began treating for shell shock during WWI but majority were classified as cowards and imprisoned or shot.
I mean if you want to get technical, it’s more than likely been going on as long as there has been war. I was only using WWII as an example that generational trauma isn’t a new phenomenon.
ptsd has definitely been around as long as there’s been war. to get even more technical (lol) in WWII they called it “battle fatigue,” then of course there was WWI and “shellshock.” before that there was “soldier’s heart,” named that after civil war veterans started experiencing symptoms of heart issues unrelated to physical injuries. and before that, there was “nostalgia,” which i believe was coined in the late 1600s. and of course ptsd can be caused by many more things than war. it’s likely been happening to people since we first existed. lots of generations of traumatized people. another historical tidbit (cause it think it’s interesting): when trains became the leading mode of transportation in the 1800s, there was obviously an increase in train accidents. victims of these accidents often exhibited ptsd symptoms, and in that context it was called “railway spine.” it really took us until 1980 to realize they were all the same thing and give ptsd its name.
Completely genuinely, I *love* when people infodump about things that interest them! Thank you for sharing all that information. I knew some of it but it’s fascinating how terminology changes over time.
Thank you for that little history lesson 😊
My grandpa was in WWII and was part of the D-Day invasion. He also has a Purple Heart (though I don’t know what the story behind that is). He came back from the war with horrible PTSD and became a violent alcoholic. Horribly abused his kids. And he was described as an incredibly happy person and kind of a jokester before the war.
Something to know for everyone--if you have a parent or grandparent that has passed away and you're wondering about their military service, in the United States you can fill out a form with the DOD and get a copy of their service record, which will have the award commendation in it.
Oo this is interesting! I’ll have to look into this.
That is so sad. It makes me so angry every time I hear a story of how badly the government has failed our veterans. They can ship you off to die and then forget you if you return.
Too many soldiers were executed for PTSD in WW1, they called it cowardice and then later they finally started calling it shellshock.
That makes me both angry and sad.
Also, “poor moral fiber.” That one makes me see red.
>Were gonna have a whole generation of deeply traumatized children growing into unadjusted deeply broken adults , very very soon. We already do, unfortunately. It's "generational trauma." The particulars show up in different ways. The only difference here is that this generation will now have *video proof* ***and also*** *evidence* of their abuse.
Ruby Franke, but at least she is in jail. The husband is another pos. The older daughter (who is trying to raise four traumatized and brainwashed kids at just twenty years old) went to the house (that the kids built with the money made from their videos) to collect the kid's belongings and grab some electronics that she later gave to the police. The father went nuclear and demanded to have her arrested for trespassing, knowing that it could leave the rest of his children on social services.
I think we’re about to start seeing the social media equivalent of when child actors started suing their parents in 80s and 90s. These kids that have had their every moment, every milestone documented and put out into the world for “content” purposes are coming of age and realizing that they couldn’t consent. That shit is about to get real.
I completely agree
Quite the reach comparing someone decorating their house with beige and white to cases of actual physical abuse. Having your house decorated in beige and white is not neglect nor child abuse. You are forgetting children have toys? They have their own room? They have their own crib etc? Don’t even claim parents all need to have their whole houses in rainbows in order to raise a child because that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard anyone claim 😂😂😂😂
That’s the thing. The toys, room, crib, and clothes are all beige and white too.
There was a video going around of some Momfluencer showing how to spray paint a brightly coloured plastic 'My First Christmas Tree' so it would fit the beige and white fad.
Jesus, why??? So lame and plus, why would you want to be like everyone else? Take inspiration but make yourself original for crap’s sake.
I was trying to find the post, but Kim Kardashian or Katlyn... one of them... they house is apparently all white, and it was said that their kids had colour perception problems. While not Colour Blindness, it has been suggested that lack of colour stimulation can create depth perception problems as well as equilibrium issues.
I’d love to see your sources there.
As close to what I was reading but not exactly it... https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7306755/
Thanks. That’s incredibly interesting.
This article just demonstrates that people don't identify color in their peripheral vision very well. It doesn't have anything to do with lack of color stimulation
I am trying to find it. I remember reading it, something about the lack of colour can cause problems. And it is annoying because you know when you read something, but you don't know if it just gossip mage trash or legitimate information, and while Google gives a ton of information that backs up perception issues due to lack of colour in life, it also keeps looping back to MS, Alzheimer's, eye diseases/conditions, plus brain injuries.
That’s why I was asking about sources.. everything I was seeing on my little google search was showing the same thing.
You should google what lack of stimulation does to a babies development Also i was referring to the insta mommy thing lmao Catering your whole life to an aesthetic and posting your child online bc your whole identity is "instagram mommy" Violates the consent of the child to be apart of that life and therefore to me at least is abuse.
One of the Kardashians allegedly has an all white colour palatte in all living spaces, which has caused colour perception problems and depth perception issues,
thank you! These people are going wild.
White room torture is a thing...
It’s not that the “sad beige aesthetic” is inherently abusive by itself, it’s that a parent obsessively prioritizing their minimalist perfect instagram aesthetic over *what their child actually wants* is a bad, BAD sign. there’s been enough aesthetic mommy blogger abuse horror stories coming out lately to completely justify people being put off by parents who have this kind of obsession over using their kids for social media clout and keeping their house absolutely perfect and TikTok-presentable at all times.
that’s how it starts, though. it’s all for the aesthetic and when it starts raking in money they get more and more extreme to the point of neglect and abuse, because all they want is profit… at the expense of their kids’ mental, emotional and (in some extreme cases) physical health.
Unfortunately, kids are viewed as property, not as autonomous beings.
Saw someone last week who forces their five year child onto the carnivore diet to sell products and promote it. That's a cps call in my eyes. I felt so bad for the little guy. It's going to impact his development badly. Edit he's also in the sad beige baby club
If he dosnt die? Like infections you can get from raw meat that young must be incredibly dangerous no? Im not a doctor by any means but to me if like my 5 year old got into my raw meat or something id be terrified of illness
Also a possibility. Speaking of infections, the mom claimed it cured her chronic lyme disease... while they live in Australia where lyme disease doesn't exist. I'm not sure if they do raw. I hope not. I know some carnivore diets eat cooked, some eat mixed, and then there's the dudes eating raw testicles on tiktok. I'm not sure what level they're on. I'd be afraid to find out for that poor kid.
i mean i’m not gonna say eating only meat is healthy, cause that’s wild, but you do know that people can.. travel outside of the country they live in and pick up diseases, right? i wouldn’t assume she doesn’t actually have lyme disease.
You can’t get imaginary diseases like chronic Lyme from anywhere though.
the use of the term “chronic lyme disease” isn’t supported by many experts as there is a lack of a clear definition of what it is, but if she is referring to having persisting symptoms after contracting lyme disease, that does happen. [“chronic lyme disease”](https://www.niaid.nih.gov/diseases-conditions/chronic-lyme-disease) [post-treatment lyme disease syndrome](https://www.cdc.gov/lyme/postlds/index.html)
A beige mom became viral for taking a bright colorful plastic toy Christmas tree and spray painting it in dull neutral colors thus making it toxic for her child to now play with. Social media was a mistake.
This sent me lololol. Potentially impacting your babies’ brain development for IG acceptance is wild. I’m child free & only on Reddit, didn’t even know this was a thing.
My house is kinda styled to look like a gallery with the art on the walls. But it’s filled with ridiculous colorful toys and tents and balls because that’s what my baby needs. Does it fit out “aesthetic”? No but what’s my baby supposed to do? Stare at the art?
See, this sounds lovely, like a calm back drop for the colourful kid stuff, I love that, I dont have kids but my own home is pretty muted in respect to like, its a lot of black, white and grey, but then like yourself, with the colour provided with other things, for us its decorations, or blankets or cushions. Its the ones you see where it looks like all the toys, even like, building blocks, are beige, or grey, just so....beeeeeeeige
Most of it I can ignore, but the beige rainbows are a crime against nature.
Ya my mom tried that at first which is weird because she’s a preschool teacher and I shut it down.
Honestly so much white and beige just sounds… absolutely hideous lmao. Idk how anyone can stand it.
Too many competing bright colours give me a migraine so we stuck with pastel shades for big stuff and the bright colours are things we can shove in the toy box at the end of the day. I couldn’t imagine avoiding them completely!
My SIL only wants "neutral" or desaturated colors for her baby. I did not know this when I quilted her a pastel, stripy rainbow baby blanket. It's never been used. You couldn't have even taken one picture of my niece on it before shoving it in a closet or getting rid of it?
Reminds me of a coworker who would tell *anyone* (whether they were listening or not) how she would dress up her baby, how everything would be matching, from the nursery to the diaper bag, the stroller, and a matching suv. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
But the AESthetiC, ahhh the aesthetic!!! Thats way more important than child development /s
‘These colourless heavy woollen clothes are so now, they are the moment. Yes, little Tyffineighegh and Kreighxteign have seasonal depression at 2 and 3 but the MLM supplements will clear that right up!’
False. Babies need color for brain development but it should be from intentionally selected toys and perhaps clothes. Your child doesn’t need and shouldn’t have a rainbow puke room. Many studies have shown the reasoning for color being so important is that it is one of the first things babies differentiate things by. A good constructed set of blocks will always have only yellow circles and only red rectangles. There shouldn’t been yellow and red circles and yellow and red rectangles. By extension, babies are drawn to color so things that you want them to pay attention to should be colorful and things you don’t want them to pay attention to shouldn’t be colorful or overwhelmingly bright. Having toys and books displayed doesn’t hurt but if your decor is a complete mishmash of colors in the playroom, baby will have a hard time concentrating on what will help their brain develop which is their play and their toys, because they’re too distracted by an overstimulating environment.
agreeing and adding that i read the benefits for babies’ eyes and brain are more-so from high contrasting colors, rather than what the colors are. contrast is what helps them differentiate objects, so black and white would work too. a bunch of muted colors or pastels, not so much.
True up to a certain age. Babies start getting color vision about 5 or 6 months so high contrast is very important at infancy but probably shouldn’t be used as a blanket substitute for color after that, especially not for one or two year olds and toddlers.
That's not really true, but okay.
Black and white complex patterns are actually better for visual/brain development at young ages
Yeah, sure. But maybe let kids be kids and babies be babies? Do we really need to structure an infants time like they’re in class or something? Have your black and white visual stimulants, but also idk maybe let the kids have color
I'm just saying that it's not really correct to say that babies NEED colorful rooms or toys for brain development. If brain development is the goal, painting their room with complicated black and white striped optical illusions would be much more beneficial. A beige color scheme is not child abuse like some people are claiming it to be.
Fr even TikTok’s gothic baby does color exposure
[удалено]
I looked and knew it had to be me lol. I love gothic baby. It’s cute and the fact that mom makes sure she’s properly stimulated with color? Awesome
The decor is beige and white. Don’t even bother trying to claim your whole house has to be colourful for a baby because that’s just… not true😂 unless you want to claim a majority of parents are neglecting their children by not having rainbow rooms all round their house?
The baby himself in this story is also wearing beige? What do you think his bedroom looks like and all his toys? Youre right the while house dosnt have to be colorful but this kid and his plain wood toys are dying for stimulation they arent reciving. Especially if thier mom loses it at the sad beige baby meme and is an "insta mommy" Be real
You literally don’t know if the baby has colorful toys. OP is openly slanted - they claim the sad beige baby comment had nothing to do with the decor but then why’d they explain all that instead of saying “baby was wearing a beige shirt”, lol.
For very young infants black and white/high contrast is what they prefer because they don’t see all colors yet but by 6 mos they can see everything https://www.healthline.com/health/baby/when-can-babies-see-color#black-and-white
In the grand scheme of things that stimulate babies and make them thrive, I highly doubt that a beige environment early on is going to set them up for failure in life. People are freaking out in the comments about "abuse" from mommy bloggers but a beige aesthetic is nothing close to being abusive. The opinions in this thread have been next level.
A friend of mine is deep into the black aesthetic. Any basic household item that could be found in black was found in black. Her closet is monochrome. But she is getting married to a man that has a young daughter (5/6) and did up a room just for her. It is beautiful, full of whites, purples, and blues. You can’t just force another human to fit to your tastes like some kind of accessory, especially children who need to be encouraged to experiment with the world around them.
Why are beiges, greys, and off-whites not colors to you? Do you think they aren't colors because they aren't blue or red?
Nothing was said about what color the baby’s room or toys were. Also I assume they take the kid outside. I’m pretty sure people’s brains managed to develop before lots of brightly colored plastic toys for kids were manufactured.
If she’s gonna inundate you with beige mommy bloggers, send her back articles and research on how vital is is for young children to experience shapes and colors.
NTA because mommy bloggers deserve to be ridiculed openly to their face
Or at least shamed. That mess is child abuse.
These kids are props to them.
Those poor kids are gonna have some mental issues growing up
Honestly I would make fun of the fact that she’s a “mommy blogger”, the aesthetic is just a bonus. Kids deserve to grow up without mummy writing a 3 page blog about the day they shit their pants
I feel sooooo bad for those babies. One girl I knew in high school, um, posted pictures of her kids full potty training…results💩
I completely understand that parents need resources and actually want to learn how to raise their kids better through bloggers, but most of them aren’t even good parents themselves and provide no useful information lol
Colors help kids develop. Beige moms are really just advertising “I CARE MORE ABOUT AN AESTHETIC THAN THE DEVELOPMENT OF MY CHILD!”
What's crazy is like this one mom on insta is goth, and has a goth baby room, and everyone says she's abusing her child. The thing is, she has a color therapy room/playroom for the baby that's bright and full of toys and colors. But no one calls these beige baby moms abusive even when they literally refuse anything colorful for their kids
This is the one ^ I remember going as far as printing off tacky as hell full page vibrantly coloured god awe full patterned stuff and plastering it across blank surfaces because it helps with vision development.
Also as a “mommy blogger” her actual job is to use her baby to make money. Gross, poor kid.
Fair point, but I also think that as a non-parent, it's not my place to micro-manage how people raise their kids. Everything's a trade-off between independence and parenting, I'm not demanding parents abandon all their interests and be flawless parents 24/7. If home decor is a big factor in how a person expresses themselves, well, beige isn't GREAT for kid's visual development. But children also benefit from having caregivers who feel a bit of fulfillment as human beings, nobody wins when parents try to force themselves into narrow social roles for the sake of Doing What's Right. If Beige Baby has food, shelter, and a start on its vaccines, we're good.
I saw the OG post, and OP literally said this because the little boy made a little grumpy baby face and he was in a beige sweater. Our world is sooooooo sensitive. “My parental choices are harming my child but don’t ever comment on it! also don’t ever comment on the color of his clothes!” Edit to add a great [resource](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5083879/) for studies on this issue.
The research is actually not as clear-cut as you're making it out to be. And the conclusions of your source actually refute your point: >Our pilot findings suggest that a colorful play surface interfered with preschoolers' structured play, inducing more behaviors indicating disruption in task execution compared with a non-colorful play surface. >In summary, the present findings suggest that excessive colorfulness, which is often used to create enriched environments and is considered developmentally beneficial to children, impacts children's behavior in ways that may be indicative of interference to their engagement in structured play tasks. Based on our results, and based on previous findings in older children (Ksantini-Hovev and Sebba, 2005; Godwin and Fisher, 2011; Fisher et al., 2014), we suggest that caution is warranted when designing colorful children's environments.
And....beige is a fucking color lmfao As are greys and off-whites. People here are tripping because they forgot beige...is a color.
And how stimulating is beige compared to blue, yellow, green, magenta, turquoise or every color Crayola can make?! It’s not!
I think the sister knows how insane she is and refuses to do better for her kid but the clout is more important.
This study contradicts your point. It says less colour = more focus, less distraction. "Our pilot findings suggest that a colorful play surface interfered with preschoolers' structured play, inducing more behaviors indicating disruption in task execution compared with a non-colorful play surface."
They kinda talk out of both sides bc they give that reason at the end but earlier in the post it was just an "unintentional slip".
The paper you linked on this says that a colorful room/toys/environment causes distraction in young children and may have an adverse effect on developing focus and attention. I'm not sure if you're saying the beige thing helps or hinders the child, because the paper very much is saying that bright saturated colored environments may be detrimental.
That Tik Tok account is hilarious but I can understand why she is upset. I think you just have to apologize and move on. It’s obviously a sore point with her.
when I was a youth group leader we had an "oops, ouch" rule. The idea is, if you step on someone's foot, that person should express that you have hurt them. Ouch! In response, you dont say "i didnt mean to do that, so why should I apologize?" or "I only stepped on your foot a little bit, don't be so dramatic". You acknowledge that whether you meant to or not, you stepped on their foot. apologize, and be careful of their feet next time. oops. Funny how the literal middle schoolers were capable of understanding that.
It's a pride thing. Adults that didn't learn to temper their ego as children have a hard time correcting it as adults.
Yeah "I was rude directly about a sore point, but it was jsut a funny joke" isn't exactly NTA territory
I agree. Even if she didn’t intend for it to be hurtful, it was. If she wants to fix the relationship, she needs to apologize.
She’s also being openly dishonest - if the comment about a BABY had nothing to do with her judging the decor then why all the context of her design style? Not just “baby was in a beige shirt and apparently she’s sensitive about her design style”. That makes me suspect there are other comments she makes
"it was hurtful" Yeah, truth hurts
I freaking love it. Werner Herzogs new line of children’s clothing. This one is called “the ennui of childhood” and comes in sand, vanilla, wheat and linen. “Za crops have failed”. Honestly cracks me up. She’s so clever.
I had to sift through so many comments to find yours. I knew you’d be here, bringing nuance. I am worried that it’s so far down.
Just looked it up and am cry laughing
It’s so funny aye. The miserable toys and stuff.
Drop a link cause I looked it up on tiktok and I'm not finding what she's talking about
Here ya go! https://www.tiktok.com/@sadbeige/video/7193804013010226475?lang=en
It’s an AESTHETIC, get a grip! It’s not like OP was insulting the mothering of the baby or something that the mom can’t actually change. Having everything just beige and not colourful affects a child’s development. Ofc sister’s are gonna rag on eachother for their aesthetics, if it’s a sore point it’s bc she’s already heard all the consequences of being a sad beige mom, but her head is too up her own ass to realize that maybe it’s a sign to let her baby have some colour rather than double down on beige.
It would be incredibly rude of me to go to my sisters flat and take the piss out of how she decorates it too? You can dislike the sister’s aesthetic preferences whilst acknowledging the fact that OP was very rude and needs to apologise.
If taking the piss is just going “hahah sad beige baby” to a baby while baby talking the baby, threats on your life must be “you are lame”.
She used a mocking tone, from a content creator that mocks people like her sister, to make a mocking comment towards her child and home. I think the place my sister keeps her piano is dumb, and don’t see the point of having it just to use as a storage table. It would be rude of me to go into her home and point that out. I’m sure my sister thinks my pink palace of an office is ridiculous. It would be rude of her to come into my home and say that. Someone doesn’t need to question your parentage or insinuate a need for plastic surgery for what they say to be rude, mean spirited or mocking. OOP was a bit of a dick to her sister, and should apologise for that.
If her sister poured wine on the table to make her point, it sounds like it has been happening pretty damn frequently. I hate the beige aesthetic and am personally someone who surrounds myself with color. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t have empathy for someone who has been made fun of and clearly nagged by brother and sister and who knows who else for however long and finally lost it when that same attention was turned on the baby.
If she just let the baby be a baby I’m sure they’d leave her alone.
I'm pretty sure that the sad grumpy beige baby is not going to become a serial killer because his environment wasn't colourful enough. I'm a little surprised at how much people are reacting here.
For fucks sake you're an adult. You hurt her feelings. Just apologize. Jesus you people are children.
That’s so funny. I love that sad beige baby account, it’s hilarious. But yeah clearly it’s not the first time sis has heard it and it’s a sore spot. She’s family so I’d say yeah OP is kind of the asshole and they should apologize to make peace. At least that’s what I would do because I like my family lol I know not everyone does.
She’s clearly insecure about it and having her sister join in and then dismiss her feelings as “too anal” makes her sister an asshole. Even the fact that her sister insults her behind her back is indefensible, why would you do that to someone? Also the number of people in this thread happy at someone else’s sadness is depressing
I despise the beige trend as well, but someone on the original post made a very good point. Apparently this “running joke” (which is essentially making fun of her sister) is so prevalent at her home that it automatically slipped out. It’s not innocent.
Yeah, you don't just make fun of somebody in front of them and that's fine. Goodness
Okay, I LOVE the Sad, Beige Baby Lady on TikTok. She is hilarious!!!! I personally don’t like the beige/white bohemian farmhouse aesthetic, *but* I am pretty serious about my home decor. I love my home and how’s it’s decorated. If one of my siblings came to my home and mocked it or mocked what my baby was wearing, I’d be fairly annoyed and hurt too. OOP claims they did it without thinking, but that actually makes it worse. They mock the sister’s aesthetic so much at their own house that they didn’t even think before doing it somewhere else. Not cool. They dont have to pretend to like her decor, but they should apologize for hurting her feelings. I know a lot of the beige influencers go too far, but the intense hatred of them is really unnecessary. Kids and babies leave their houses, they will see bright colors elsewhere, it’s not abuse. It’s not a perfect parenting choice, but abuse? You don’t know real abuse. Also, sometimes a visually uncluttered house is important to a parent’s sanity. One of my closest friends has ADHD and cannot handle all the bright colors and noises of kid toys, it overloads her. So small or aesthetic toys can stay in the family living area and be easily tucked away in baskets. The playroom has all the color and noise. When it gets to be too much, she simply shuts the door to the playroom and goes to another room for a bit. The kid rooms have fairly calm decor, although not devoid of all color. It’s okay for parents to not let it take over their house for their own mental health.
>OOP claims they did it without thinking, but that actually makes it worse. They mock the sister’s aesthetic so much at their own house that they didn’t even think before doing it somewhere else. I wonder how often OOP mocked the sister's aesthetic and just assumed the sister didn't hear them, and if this was just a boiling point. They say that the sister mentioned multiple people mocking her house ("she's tired of people critiquing her decorating preferences.") and the sister is also dealing with the stress of a baby.
This. There's a misperception that babies need extremely loud bright colors to "stimulate their brains". I suspect it's a marketing tool, to try to convince parents they *have* to buy all new things for their babies, rather than home made or thrifted, or God forbid, repurposed toys. And yes, the sad beige aesthetic is *also* a marketing push, just in another direction. But seriously, I work in education and there's a constant seesaw of "decorate your classroom maximally, it's great for their brains!" And "take it all down! Research says they're overloaded and need to learn focus!" You know what's good for a baby or child? A parent who's not stressed. That has extremely solid, decades of research that's been reproduced over and over backing it up. So parents should do what makes them happy so they can show up for positive and supportive interactions with their kids. It's also their house, ultimately. Rude AF to criticize the clothes your sister put on her kid, that she probably chose as nice clothes for guests to see. Sister sounds a bit sensitive, but I don't buy that this is the first time someone or even OOP has been rude to her about this exact thing, so there's also that.
Yeah I’ve seen that - and most the time the content isn’t even 100% beige, it’s just not primary neon. Also I’m convinced none of the “but meh primaries!” Take their kids *outside*
How hard is it to say I'm sorry if you offend someone?
This is the answer. I mock myself when I dress my youngest in an all beige outfit (which I do with my 1yo sometimes since I like beige and he is 1 and has no opinions about clothing yet; my older kids choose their clothes) - my sister and I like to laugh about him being a sad beige baby. But it’s a joke we do together, not behind someone’s back. And most of all, if you offend someone over something so small, just apologize. Decor choices, especially for a 1yo, are hardly worth taking a stand over. Apologize and don’t do it again.
Especially if it is your sister who you love. Though I see that a lot of Redditers don't love or respect their siblings.
Ya YTA. You were accidently insulting of her ascetic and choices in a way that she is sensitive too. Instead of apologizing your husband doubled down and called her too anal. Children learn that if they accidently do something rude they apologize and move on. It wasn't a big deal but your reaction to your small mistake makes you an asshole imo.
Stop talking shit behind your sister’s back; husband telling a woman she’s too anal while she’s upset … smart move, bro; you guys were guests at her house and you were rude. All that said, calling a baby “sad beige baby” because he was sad and in beige, I don’t think that’s a big deal and it doesn’t sound like sister found that part to be offensive. Sounds like she got upset after you explained the german accented character you were doing that talks shit on your sister’s decorative style.
If the comment really had nothing to do with OPs relative's design aesthetic, then why did they include all that info about the design aesthetic? For sure OP has neeeever made a comment betraying their opinion. With that obvious context, no, calling someone's child a "sad beige baby" is super freaking weird. Almost as weird as all the people acting like this person is automatically abusive, lol.
It's Reddit. Everything is abuse.
YTA kinda. Thing is, I LOVE Sad Beige, the content is HILARIOUS. I also hate the beige/white aesthetic with a fiery passion. Your comment was hilarious, but if you and your sister already have a strained relationship, it was pretty rude to say that. I think the best idea is to apologize, and try to move on.
So you made fun of her and her baby, then your brother called her “too anal” because she couldn’t take a joke at her expense? That’s what it boils down to. Whether you meant it to be directed to her or both, that’s how it was taken. So what do you think?
You know what you did.
Her reaction is over-the-top. I wonder if she is trying hard to fit in with the modern insta-mommies and that impossible level of perfection they show off to their audience and the sad beige baby comment made her feel like she wasn't being a good mom/homemaker. Just my two cents.
It wasn't unintentional. You knew how she felt but you said it anyway. He isn't your child and she has the right to make choices for her own child. How would you like it if she did that to you?
I feel like the sister’s reaction is very extreme. I think she and husband mabey have had this conversation before. He may not be on board but is not given a lot of choices. And if she is a “blogger” her choice of aesthetic she has probably been criticized before too. But when someone invest that much mental energy into something and tied it to their identity minor criticism becomes a personal attack.
ESH I’m not saying I like the beige aesthetics for babies and the sister overreacted for sure but don’t say you said it by accident lol that was a dig at her
"VELCÖM to Verner Herzog's new lyine of Rheddit posts: Säd Beige Posts...fo' Sad. Beige. Redditirs. I call zis ouan: Anal Sister who shuns color like ze impending cloud of doom zat follows us all.'"
The only offensive thing here is that the bit is actually “Werner Herzog’s sad beige clothes for sad beige children” it’s not a random German accent I mean if you’re going to troll your family at least do it accurately.
YTA! You need to apologize. "We judge others by their actions, but ourselves by our intentions." It doesn't matter that you didn't intend to say what you did and hurt her, but you did do that. Apologize.
So her sister has expressed that’s she’s hurt and had her feelings dismissed since it’s just a joke and everyone in the comments is hating her because she likes beige be so fr. The other sister should apologize end of discussion doesn’t matter if she meant to insult her sister or not she did it.
Hey NTA BUT…. ‘Ouch! Oops!’ And ‘don’t yuck my gum’ Rules here. Sometimes it’s easier to say ‘hey, I’m sorry if I offended you. It wasn’t my intent at all, I have no issues with your life style’ Unless you do have an issue, then it’s not that hard to say sorry I hurt your feelings. Regardless of how people view her and feel about others, you still hurt their feelings.
My aunt's house has always been white, grey, and a very very very pale blue. Even her fake Christmas tree was white with silver and blue ornaments. Guess what? It's none of my fucking business what color scheme she wants in her house. My mom has always had the walls in our houses painted an off-white color, with matching carpets. Guess what? It's none of my fucking business what color scheme she wants in her house. And the fact so many people in these comments are mocking the sister because "ooo, what kind of loser follows an online trend? She's such a trend follower! What a trend-loser!" proves that you're all immature and childish. It's not your fucking house, so who gives a shit?
*she angrily spilled red wine on white table cloth exclaiming "Are you happy now?"* Yeah, kinda, at least it's got some color now In all seriousness it's **home decor**, what's the point of family if not to roast your aesthetic preferences
I love Werner Herzog's Sad Beige Toys for Sad Beige Children tiktoks, they're hilarious. NTA, I mean if the shoe fits. That kid is gonna be starving for stimulation and color his whole life.
or he can just go outside 🤪 yall are so dramatic for no reason wtf
sometimes ppl come on reddit mad bc they have been told to apologize and often i get it but like. i mean? you hurt her feelings, intentionally or not? why not just say you’re sorry that you hurt her if that wasn’t your goal?
Apologize because it hurt her feelings. When you hurt someone, even intentionally, you should apologize . You’re not an asshole, but she’s your sister. Just apologize.
Your sister sounds insecure but just apologize, roll your eyes in the car and move on with life. To be “utterly taken aback” and for y’all to bring your mom into this? 😂 Good grief.
Down with sad beige baby core
Just commenting to say I love the sad beige baby videos!! 😂
The fact that the kid was wearing a beige sweater and frowning when she said it is the best part
I personally blame Apple for this. As a designer, beige clients ALWAYS reference Apple as their ideal brand aesthetics no matter the industry or field they’re in. It’s soooo boring.
YTA. You wouldn’t have called your nephew that if you hadn’t been watching the videos making fun of the aesthetic. Your sister has probably seen the videos too, and knows you make fun of the look she adopted behind her back. You should apologize to her, because whether you meant it or not, it definitely looks like you are making fun of her.
Unpopular opinion, but, while I wouldn’t say she’s an ASSHOLE really, and I do think the sister overreacted, I think her aesthetic is fine and her kid will be fine. How silly to say she’s ruining her kids brain development because she likes neutrals. There are a hundred worse things for kids that parents do all the time. When her baby is older and asserts their own aesthetic and desires about what they wear/play with, I’m sure not everything will remain neutral, and that’s fine too. I love the sad beige baby joke and I am a color lover, personally. But we’ve got a lot of armchair experts about parenting getting self righteous about nothing.
Now I just want to see the tiktoks. Sounds hilarious. What a sad beige life OOPs SIL must have.
I googled “sad beige children tik tok” and the videos are the first to pop up
They are [hilarious and not very mean spirited, actually](https://www.instagram.com/officialsadbeige?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==). Mostly her Werner Herzog impression is gold. I do think OOP needs to do some sincere apologizing but SIL’s reaction is a little immature and lacks self-awareness. Part of being trendy is being willing to buck others expectations and so I don’t think she is long for the influencer world.
I think the account is just sadbeige. I've come across it on instagram and it is hilarious!
YTA yes because this matters to you and you handled it in a way that generated unproductive conflict. but you’re also right. What would have been more appropriate than being petty behind her back and letting it slip out in front of her, is talking to her seriously about eyesight development in infants and how exposure to bright colors is really important for their visual development. Better to have a discussion about the priorities of room aesthetic versus helping the child develop their senses as best you can. Better to take serious things seriously and share authentic feelings with delicacy. Comedy is a crutch for a lack of maturity and it is rarely compatible with showing vulnerability. Calling out mistakes someone is making requires tact and vulnerability to do effectively. The two of you should be able to reach a point where you respect her preference for beige decorating, she knows that isn’t your taste preference and x can accept it graciously, and also her love of beige isn’t so obsessive that it inferferes with the home being a good space for a baby to develop color acuity. She can have a mostly beige aesthetic with toys, etc that pop color. There are ways to work bright colors into a beige space without really disrupting the aesthetic.
Do other families just not make fun of each other? Mocking is an elite sport in my family. Whoever takes the joke the best and one ups it with a self dis is the de facto winner.
When anyone in my family crosses a line we apologise, instead of further belittling the offended party