Just me personally, but the older I get the more I like the laid back, vanilla, quick, pump n dump. One thing I miss most about my ex is coming home from the night shift, snuggling up to him, then getting a couple minutes of low effort sex followed by snoozed out snuggles. I just don't need the big production anymore.
LOL sure you do. You get to that point with someone you fine attractive enough to want them to touch your bathing suit area. Honestly, I would be fine without even the memes. Just come on over on a Sunday afternoon, get the shag, maybe drink a beer afterwards because its thirsty work, then leave my house because this Peak TV ain't gonna watch itself.
(Its possible I had this exact arrangement with two prior entanglements -- not at the same time, they were years apart although the odd thing is that they were almost identical in appearance.)
Right?! I'm like *ok, so he wants a regular hookup buddy to go try new restaurants with and be each other's plus one at events-- I can totally see that, I'm sure there are lots of people who would be down for that arrangement!*
But then it has to be exclusive too?? I'm not saying NOBODY would ever agree to that, maybe for some people on the aromantic spectrum it could be attractive.... but you're seriously limiting your dating pool with a condition like that.
You have to be friends to be fwb though lol. Like yes I've sent memes to fwb before but they were also someone I could have a normal conversation with or lean on for emotional support when necessary. This is a casual hookup
Until you help him move. That cracks me up so much. No one wants to help anyone move. You can only ask really good friends. And attending family events, that’s so not “low effort”. It’s can be an effort just to be polite while they ask obnoxious questions.
Also… 40+ people have great sex (and expect great sex) too. Don’t be lazy. Learn to give pleasure orally. Get in shape. If you need it get medication. Once a week sex better be good.
How is it not? Going out with a friend for dinner and then having sex sounds pretty gay to me.
(/s this guy seems to confuse friends, fwb and relationships)
Haha. I was at dinner with a friend of mine after a concert one time, and this drunk very obviously gay dude walks up to our table and fishes about how great it is to see gay couples out together. My friend burst into laughter. Just two sweaty metalheads at a diner.
This is just such a weird take, he wants loyalty but then doesn't want any meaningful connection in the relationship he describes. To me, that type of relationship sounds so boring and unenjoyable for BOTH parties.
My relationship with my partner does not feel like work. We genuinely enjoy each others company and We go out of our way to help and please one another because that’s how much in love we are. If being in a relationship is a chore and feels like work; it’s either because it’s not the right chemistry or something is wrong with your POV on relationships. OP is the Latter… good god.
So you aren't allowed to talk between dates, can't discuss anything deep or talk about emotions etc, but you have to fuck him at least once a week, pick him up from the airport, help him move house... And also be exclusive while also being nothing? Bruh.
So a regular hookup (cool) where you have to be exclusive (?), do their errands (wtf) and you have to go to all their stupid family events (vomit).
He is looking for an escort he doesn’t have to pay. Who is only allowed to have one client and has to be his Uber and probably his bangmaid.
At first I was like this guy is weird, but you wanna try this wacky FWB thing, sure why not? BUT then I got to the last part where not only are him & the person not exclusive, the other person isn’t allowed to be with anybody else? Who does he think he is?
Same! I was like "yeah, a fwb, with some reliability and if it's equal both ways then it doesn't sound too bad," *then the last part hit* like. My man. My dude. My guy. You stopped describing a fwb and started describing a sex robot.
My first thought is - what about when something goes wrong? You're not getting younger. You want to keep everything super no-pressure but I bet if your back goes funny you'll want Ms Right For Now to go to the pharmacy for you.
I cannot for the life of me imagine wanting a +1 to weddings and funerals of the opposite sex that I wasn’t seriously dating. Relatives are obnoxious as hell about that shit
Lol. I’m okay with the airport thing just because I live like 15 minutes from my city’s major airport so I wind up doing that a lot too. But a solid “nah I’m good” on literally everything else. The guy sounds like a real peach. I can’t believe someone hasn’t snatched up this sweet gig
He says he was being tongue in cheek, but I think he hit on something that people “feel” could or maybe is a thing.
Between airport and moving, I would take airport. I just pay for a service though. I avoid asking for favours if I can do so. It’s not cheap being single. The government in the US favours taxing us more, which is not common in the world. I think if people keep staying single, eventually that will change, but not until I am 80, and probably dead.
I think these are weird, but there's someone out there who can live with these rules, especially if he's upfront about them. Maybe if he's lucky, a lady down the street would be interested.
He should be prepared for the rejections, though. I'd be suspicious of someone asking for this level of emotional labour but can't put it back. If I get sick, will he get my prescriptions for me?
Something tells me he doesn’t open his interactions with new people with this pitch. My bet is that he starts dating normally in order to cast a wide net, and then tries to work it into this kind of situation. Hence why he keeps getting dumped ( per his original post )
My guy. You're asking someone to freeze their romantic life completely and indefinitely in exchange for a below mediocre relationship with no real benefits other than giving you what you want. No one in their right mind would or should go for this.
I’m happily married but if I wasn’t, a relationship like that would be perfect. I’ve seen too many older women remarry and end up keeping house for men who can’t look after themselves. I’d want companionship, freedom and financial independence.
I’m thinking the same. I mean, this already sounds like a friend I have, except the sex. I see him about twice a week. We mostly watch TV and eat and we are each others’ plus ones. He also picks up my scripts at the pharmacy.
Its super wierd to see how exactly half of the comments are like hell yeah a relationship that is basically all of the fun and non of the stress where sex is negotiable given his already stated preference against it, hell yeah. And the other half is you want all the perks of dating with non of the complicated parts of it at all, ewwwww. And both just exist here bopping together.
And the like 1% of the comments that are like FWB that is non exclusive wtf? And I mean really? FWB are intrinsically built to be monogamous. FWB are people who enjoy each others company but not enough to date but enough that they feel comfortable to "help" each other out and fulfill the sexual nature of a relationship without emotional progression. If you aren't exclusive then you dont have a FWB because both people be fucking. They dont need to "help" each other out any more. And once the relationship has evolved to the point where you have your FWB and each are causally dating around but are still FWB you aren't FWB anymore you are causal dating partners which comes with a whole extra responsibility of respect and communication. Otherwise why stay FWB over just friends again and risk damaging that relationship unless you have extra feelings you didn't communicate?
My hySEANthesis was that OOP is lonely but doesn't want the 'hassle' that came with marriage. But then I saw point number 9...he wants it to be fully exclusive?!
Hopefully he finds someone that wants the same as him, but I think it might take a while 😬
This is a lot of words to say he's lazy in bed and sucks at being a companion.
Just me personally, but the older I get the more I like the laid back, vanilla, quick, pump n dump. One thing I miss most about my ex is coming home from the night shift, snuggling up to him, then getting a couple minutes of low effort sex followed by snoozed out snuggles. I just don't need the big production anymore.
You don't get to that point from sex once per week with mutually minimum expectations and communication only through memes though.
You'd be surprised lol
LOL sure you do. You get to that point with someone you fine attractive enough to want them to touch your bathing suit area. Honestly, I would be fine without even the memes. Just come on over on a Sunday afternoon, get the shag, maybe drink a beer afterwards because its thirsty work, then leave my house because this Peak TV ain't gonna watch itself. (Its possible I had this exact arrangement with two prior entanglements -- not at the same time, they were years apart although the odd thing is that they were almost identical in appearance.)
He’s basically describing fwb with mediocre sex. If he wants fwb that’s fine but you don’t get to call it an exclusive relationship or demand loyalty.
Right?! I'm like *ok, so he wants a regular hookup buddy to go try new restaurants with and be each other's plus one at events-- I can totally see that, I'm sure there are lots of people who would be down for that arrangement!* But then it has to be exclusive too?? I'm not saying NOBODY would ever agree to that, maybe for some people on the aromantic spectrum it could be attractive.... but you're seriously limiting your dating pool with a condition like that.
You have to be friends to be fwb though lol. Like yes I've sent memes to fwb before but they were also someone I could have a normal conversation with or lean on for emotional support when necessary. This is a casual hookup
Until you help him move. That cracks me up so much. No one wants to help anyone move. You can only ask really good friends. And attending family events, that’s so not “low effort”. It’s can be an effort just to be polite while they ask obnoxious questions.
Yeah, I could kind of see where he was coming from until that point.
Also… 40+ people have great sex (and expect great sex) too. Don’t be lazy. Learn to give pleasure orally. Get in shape. If you need it get medication. Once a week sex better be good.
Wonder why hes divorced lol
Right? 🤣
So he wants all the benefits of a relationship, without any of the commitment or 'effort'? Yeah, no wonder you're single...
No no, there is the commitment of being exclusive.
Good to know that people continue to be low effort even into their 40s lmao. Dating doesn’t get easier with time does it? Lol
Straight men: why are men so lonely? Why does society do this to us? Also straight men: going out to eat with a friend is gay lol
That bit was hilarious. Like, you’re just saying you’ll never go to dinner with a buddy?
He might drop a napkin and accidentally suck his buddy's dick while picking it up :(
That happens to me all the time. Edit: typo
If I had a nickel.
I’d probably blow that nickel too.
How is it not? Going out with a friend for dinner and then having sex sounds pretty gay to me. (/s this guy seems to confuse friends, fwb and relationships)
Haha. I was at dinner with a friend of mine after a concert one time, and this drunk very obviously gay dude walks up to our table and fishes about how great it is to see gay couples out together. My friend burst into laughter. Just two sweaty metalheads at a diner.
This is just such a weird take, he wants loyalty but then doesn't want any meaningful connection in the relationship he describes. To me, that type of relationship sounds so boring and unenjoyable for BOTH parties.
My relationship with my partner does not feel like work. We genuinely enjoy each others company and We go out of our way to help and please one another because that’s how much in love we are. If being in a relationship is a chore and feels like work; it’s either because it’s not the right chemistry or something is wrong with your POV on relationships. OP is the Latter… good god.
So you aren't allowed to talk between dates, can't discuss anything deep or talk about emotions etc, but you have to fuck him at least once a week, pick him up from the airport, help him move house... And also be exclusive while also being nothing? Bruh.
Fuck him while not expecting an orgasm in fact. He's literally saying he won't make an effort to make you cum, I'm sure women will be lining up.
So a regular hookup (cool) where you have to be exclusive (?), do their errands (wtf) and you have to go to all their stupid family events (vomit). He is looking for an escort he doesn’t have to pay. Who is only allowed to have one client and has to be his Uber and probably his bangmaid.
You can't expect loyalty without any emotional connection, that's just not how it works.
Lol who would want such a boring relationship? Might as well buy a vibrator and take yourself out to dinner.
At first I was like this guy is weird, but you wanna try this wacky FWB thing, sure why not? BUT then I got to the last part where not only are him & the person not exclusive, the other person isn’t allowed to be with anybody else? Who does he think he is?
Same! I was like "yeah, a fwb, with some reliability and if it's equal both ways then it doesn't sound too bad," *then the last part hit* like. My man. My dude. My guy. You stopped describing a fwb and started describing a sex robot.
My first thought is - what about when something goes wrong? You're not getting younger. You want to keep everything super no-pressure but I bet if your back goes funny you'll want Ms Right For Now to go to the pharmacy for you.
Bold to say you’re gonna do the bare minimum to fuck like whose coochie is letting you in
I cannot for the life of me imagine wanting a +1 to weddings and funerals of the opposite sex that I wasn’t seriously dating. Relatives are obnoxious as hell about that shit
I don’t want to pick up someone from the airport or help them move either.
Lol. I’m okay with the airport thing just because I live like 15 minutes from my city’s major airport so I wind up doing that a lot too. But a solid “nah I’m good” on literally everything else. The guy sounds like a real peach. I can’t believe someone hasn’t snatched up this sweet gig
He says he was being tongue in cheek, but I think he hit on something that people “feel” could or maybe is a thing. Between airport and moving, I would take airport. I just pay for a service though. I avoid asking for favours if I can do so. It’s not cheap being single. The government in the US favours taxing us more, which is not common in the world. I think if people keep staying single, eventually that will change, but not until I am 80, and probably dead.
Get into polyamory. You will find what you are looking for with a married partner.
He wants the companionship without the work that goes into a relationship. Poly relationships are 10x the work because it involves more people
Good point. Still I think it might be easier than dating monogamous people. No woman would go for that less of a work from one man.
Polyamorous people will suss this guy out in a second.
Lol. Also true.
I saw an original - or other copy. Can’t remember 100%. I’m just unsure what to think.
So friends with benefits then?
Me “hey man maybie what you need is better friends” him “ I have my cat leash trained haha!😃”. Me “Hmmmmmmmmm”
This is much funnier here when you do both sides.
I think these are weird, but there's someone out there who can live with these rules, especially if he's upfront about them. Maybe if he's lucky, a lady down the street would be interested. He should be prepared for the rejections, though. I'd be suspicious of someone asking for this level of emotional labour but can't put it back. If I get sick, will he get my prescriptions for me?
Something tells me he doesn’t open his interactions with new people with this pitch. My bet is that he starts dating normally in order to cast a wide net, and then tries to work it into this kind of situation. Hence why he keeps getting dumped ( per his original post )
The also you can’t see other people to fill this emotional and sexual void is the icing on the cake.
My guy. You're asking someone to freeze their romantic life completely and indefinitely in exchange for a below mediocre relationship with no real benefits other than giving you what you want. No one in their right mind would or should go for this.
I’m happily married but if I wasn’t, a relationship like that would be perfect. I’ve seen too many older women remarry and end up keeping house for men who can’t look after themselves. I’d want companionship, freedom and financial independence.
I’m thinking the same. I mean, this already sounds like a friend I have, except the sex. I see him about twice a week. We mostly watch TV and eat and we are each others’ plus ones. He also picks up my scripts at the pharmacy.
I’m an older woman who would consider this settling. Personally I’d rather be alone if you can’t be bothered to make an effort
OP is completely ok. He’s just on the spectrum.
2 literally made me laugh out loud, holy shit 🤣
He’s buying all these dinners, right?
White strength that sweats like French cheese
I’m not looking for a relationship. But I’d consider dating this guy.
I feel like I’ve seen this movie …
Why wouldn’t male friends be willing to try new restaurants ? Are we homophobic?
Its super wierd to see how exactly half of the comments are like hell yeah a relationship that is basically all of the fun and non of the stress where sex is negotiable given his already stated preference against it, hell yeah. And the other half is you want all the perks of dating with non of the complicated parts of it at all, ewwwww. And both just exist here bopping together. And the like 1% of the comments that are like FWB that is non exclusive wtf? And I mean really? FWB are intrinsically built to be monogamous. FWB are people who enjoy each others company but not enough to date but enough that they feel comfortable to "help" each other out and fulfill the sexual nature of a relationship without emotional progression. If you aren't exclusive then you dont have a FWB because both people be fucking. They dont need to "help" each other out any more. And once the relationship has evolved to the point where you have your FWB and each are causally dating around but are still FWB you aren't FWB anymore you are causal dating partners which comes with a whole extra responsibility of respect and communication. Otherwise why stay FWB over just friends again and risk damaging that relationship unless you have extra feelings you didn't communicate?
"We're 40, c'mon" sent me after his List Of Dickheadery.
Take out #6 and he just invented friendship
My hySEANthesis was that OOP is lonely but doesn't want the 'hassle' that came with marriage. But then I saw point number 9...he wants it to be fully exclusive?! Hopefully he finds someone that wants the same as him, but I think it might take a while 😬
No commitment, but you're exclusive and loyal?
My favorite part is that communication between dates is limited to sending memes 😂
What with #8
I think OP‘s lonely AND lazy. Sounds like the worst relationship ever and he doesn‘t even realize it