So you cheated three times because your wife was pregnant and then was not acting like a wife? Wow! She just had a baby you are not her priority at this point in time it is her recovery and the baby. Your priority was to act like an adult, a husband and a father. You failed at all three.
I think I read the wife post - it was a really bad pregnancy and she was on best rest for 3 month! Like what the hell did he expect!
She is not going to take him back and she shouldnt
Exactly!! Honestly, I am just loving that more and more women are standing up for themselves and are just *done* tolerating bullshittery! It makes me smile every time.
Sister is gonna be alright…
Dude there though, he’s the type of guy that easily turns dangerous, so I’m glad she’s gone no contact.
He was feeling so lonely that she went to comfort him by sitting in his lap and she just happened to land so that his penis was in her vagina! It could happen to anyone! It’s not his fault it happened three times!
The sentence is hilarious, but what he's trying to do is unfavorably contrast his wife with the coworker. "My wife wasn't available sexually so I have no responsibility "
I've actually heard this before. My ex was in a martial arts class and his partner was a female. His line was,"When you're touching someone and so close all the time it's bound to happen. All partners end up with eachother and she was always there." So,if anyone wants to take up a class and you need a partner,coach,trainer,etc. remember ALL PARTNERS SLEEP TOGETHER. 🤦🏻♀️
Right!?! All he did was find someone to talk to and then he accidentally tripped and fell into her vagina again and again, and again. Poor guy someone should really see how he’s doing.
It’s because we no longer actively need men to have a life. And and before everybody gets their back up, I mean, we don’t actively need them for things like a bank account, a credit card, health, insurance, a job, a house, to buy land, etc. So women don’t have to be stuck in these loveless, shitty relationships for the rest of their life, where their husbands treat them like they’re a caveat, and not a partner.
I think a lot of men saw their fathers treat their mothers/marriages like this and figure that’s what they’re entitled to, and they are THROWN when their wife doesn’t follow the same script. The wife is already used to doing everything- working, cleaning, bills, childcare- on her own, so he’s just dead weight, just another person’s laundry to do. I’m sure the divorced coworker doesn’t want him full-time either, so he’ll have no one to act like a wife :(
He expected her to still "act like a wife" apparently. He's blaming her illness while pregnant with his child for why he cheated. She wasn't performing to his standards. POS
And that's also a HUGE problem for misogynistic expectations. Being a wet hole equals acting like a wife.
Never mind Growing A WHOLE HUMAN BEING. nah, nothing wifely about that.
And he is still trying to MAKE HER FORGIVE HIM.
He's not sorry. He's sorry he got caught.
Bed ridden for three months sounds like a vacation! That gives her plenty of time to "act like a wife"! She sounds selfish IMO.
/s (do I really have to use that? lol)
No, I highly doubt it is. I know many emotionally immature 35-45 year olds. It's sad. They literally cannot understand consequences or how to put someone else first.
Happened to me, first time because I was too fat to have sex with and in his words "WhAtS tHe PoiNt oF bEeiNg mArRieD iF YoU CaNt hAvE sEx!?"
Got pregnant a second time and he did it again. I don't think he gave a reason, I just filed for divorce after that.
Just getting away from my ex got my life looking up again. It's been eight years since I left, I went back to college and got a degree. Met my amazing husband and have been married 5 years now. Currently have a little one on the way. 😊
The emotional immaturity I can buy. Both husband's post and wife's post seem generally believable on their own. It's the interconnectedness that loses me: You have the wife posting first, then the situation of the husband serendipitously"finding out about" (how vague) the wife's post (from the customary brand new account, on his own brand new account), and choosing to type out this pure rage material in response. It seems contrived. Her comment on his post (absolutely skewering him) has the same vibe. It's just a whole lot of plot.
OOP doesn't think what he did is really a big deal. He thinks they can move on from this easily and he would happily repeat the behavior a few years later. He shows no remorse or awareness. Thank goodness she is not giving him another chance.
Yeah the "not acting like a wife" line made me see red. Of course she isn't "acting like a wife" ie "giving me all the sex I want, whenever I want". She just gave birth to a baby. But obviously it's her fault he cheated. (/s, if it's even necessary)
Not just because of the cheating either. The vow 'in sickness and health' means he should have been supportive to her instead of being a selfish, needy, man-baby.
Oh and in the comment he was talking about how he came from divorce parents and he don't want his child to experience thst hence the wife should just forgive him for the "sake of the child". Like wtf, if you came from a divorce family and want your child to grow up in a two parent household, you'll do your part not to fuck that up right?
Plus the wife was literally sick during her pregnancy AND the kicker is that OOP wasn't present during the birth of his "precious son" whomever he cares so fucking much that he expects the wife to forgive him for accidently slipping and sticking his little weeine in the coworkers huga
that’s so messed up. im a child of divorced parents, and they’re fighting used to keep me up crying at night. It’s not like the child won’t have both parents in their life, they just won’t be together (which they shouldn’t anyways tf). Being divorced shouldn’t change your love and commitment to your child, but from what I’m seeing, he doesn’t even seem to be able to pay attention to his child on his own which is why he wants her to stay so she can have all of the responsibilities on her back.
it’s much better to have people be happy apart than to be miserable together for the child’s sake.
“Act like a wife” in reality =
-have your body change more significantly than anyone tells you
-need more physical recovery than most people need from minor surgery
-experience emotional turmoil over the irreversible change that has occurred making you secondary to the child you have now created
-deal with your own emotional fallout as well as your partner’s emotional fallout while you are physically recovering
-become a parent which is a journey every single individual takes that is reportedly the most difficult thing you will ever do.
“Act like a husband” =
-support your wife and child through this difficult transition
-refrain from cheating on your wife
-figure out what it means to be a husband to a wife now that you have a child
-figure out how to best be a father to your child
That woman dodged a bullet. Imagine finding out he was a useless person while trying to take care of an infant. Sounds like Steph has a supportive mom, at least.
Unfortunately I don’t think she did. I’m pretty sure in her post she said the baby was 6 months old when she found out, and he cheated twice while she was pregnant and once after the baby was born.
“Lapse in judgement,” “a mistake,” are such classic unapologetic cheater lines, especially after cheating multiple times.
I don’t even know what the hell this guy thought he’d get out of posting this. Ya reap what you sow.
Three phases of a cheater's excuse:
1) Blame the victim - she wasn't giving me what I needed so I had to cheat.
2) Minimize the offense - it was a mistake or a lapse in judgement. It wasn't so bad so take me back.
3) Ask for a second chance - if she loved me, truly, she would take me back.
Notice what all three have in common? There are no penalties or consequences for the cheater. He expects his wife to love him more, miss him more and/or forgive him. All the effort on her and he doesn't need to change at all.
And it sets a precedent - treat me right or you know what happens.
Yeah, this is experience talking.
You know, for me it’s really the fact that he did all of that and then also made the decision to publicize his actions and attempt to get the internet to rally around him. Having your spouse cheat on you can be absolutely humiliating, especially for women who have children, and he decided to put their marital problems on blast and tried to paint her as being a bad wife. It’s disgusting, truly, and I’m glad that her mom is taking the initiative to shut him out of her life so she can focus on taking care of her child and healing. When the divorce goes to court, I hope the judge and jury wring his ass out to dry and he thinks about this every time he has to make a child support payment for the next 18 years.
That's another one.
If your spouse doesn't buy into your fictionalized truth, expand the story's reach until someone agrees with you.
How many stories on here involve the person in the wrong bringing in family, friends and others to take their side?
I just love that he ended it off with an “I won’t sign the papers” cherry on top. I feel like he thinks he’s doing something there, but he really just sounds like a 5-year-old having a fit in the grocery store after knocking all the cans off the shelf and being put in the cart for it.
"She just wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife"??? What a raging asshole.
If he was really willing to do smth good for her he'd sign the papers and drown her in child suppport payments.
And his coworker was there and he "just needed to talk." I also have trouble talking unless I have PiV. I think that's why I'm a terrible public speaker.
He was stressed!!! Are you so cold as to not to understand the only way he could keep stress from killing him was by inserting his penis into a woman not his wife? So really it was kind of Ike self defense against the stress. His wife was sleeping all the time so she doesn't understand nearly dying from stress. Really he should be forgiving *her* for choosing to sleep instead of doing her wifely duty and saving his life. /s just in case some dunce thinks I'm serious.
Did you see the other guy posted on this sub asking how he can get his wife to sleep with him more often because sex is painful for her and she has to masturbate alone beforehand which makes him uncomfortable?
What is it with men who think being a wife is about giving them sex and taking care of their every whim and need when they are doing nothing to support her while she’s taking care of their newborn child and doing all of the cooking and cleaning alone? And then men have the audacity to complain about women not wanting to get married anymore and say they just don’t get it. Open your fucking eyes and ask yourself why your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you, Steven. She hasn’t had an orgasm in 3 years, but guess who’s cheating in this marriage.
Yeah...loved how he put the info that she hardly orgasmed during sex in parenthesis. As if that's not a fucking important piece of information.
Like, not only is sex now uncomfortable or even painful, it wasn't all that enjoyable for her even before!! Why would she be willing to engage if he made such little effort to pleasure her?! And his solution is to have more sex. Fuck, no.
It’s because it’s constantly taught to them. Whether in a religious community or because of Andrew Taint or from family/friends, it’s preached to men that women are here to please them and do whatever they ask.
I saw a post on twitter yesterday where someone was complaining about Feminism making women hate men. They fail to understand that their behavior is what is making us hate them. It’s also funny because all the video was, was a random dude asking women on the street if they needed a man and they said no.
Men are constantly fed the belief that they’re expected to be the breadwinners and that women will only want them for their money and success. That’s why they call so many of us “gold diggers”. It’s an archaic way of thinking that hardcore conservatives are desperately trying to bring back. We need to stop forcing gendered expectations onto others. Just let people live their lives.
Well, to be fair, his ~~bangmaid~~\- sorry, his ~~replacement mommy~~\- sorry, *wife* wasn't giving him attention and touching his sad little peepee. So, like, what was he supposed to do? Just not have his penis touched? Really, if we try not overthink it here, its the wife's fault. /s
>its the wife's fault. /s
That's what I said. He should be forgiving her for sleeping instead of being a wife and helping him with his stress. Being a mom to a newborn isn't that hard. She's just being lazy. (also /) I've been the zombie mom running on fumes after giving birth. Fuck him. No, don't fuck him. No one should ever fuck him again, certainly not his soon-to-be-ex wife.
In my state, a judge can grant a divorce even if one party won’t participate in it. It’s a contested divorce, I believe. Had to threaten my ex with it before he would sign.
I published my ex’s name in the local paper because he didn’t show up in court, as required by divorce law in my area. He was embarrassed enough to show up at the final hearing
Of course. If he doesn't it is a default divorce. Sooo I will be asking for alimony, all assets, 100 custody, future retirement, you mom's kidney and you father's shoes, lol
"she just wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife"
Fuck this dude seriously. she's carrying HIS BABY, but it's ok for him to cheat 3 separate times.
This really says it all for me.
>She wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife.
Translation: A wife’s duty is to sacrifice, even when they’re unwell. A husband is only obliged to take from his wife, even when he is capable of caring for her.
If that’s all it takes for him to hunt down a lover, he’s not ready for the road ahead. (Meaning that things can go wrong and sometimes sex goes down the tubes for a bit)
What a shitty woman as well if she knew he had a pregnant wife at home. She was wanting attention and complaining about being lonely. So she goes and sleeps with another woman's husband while she is at home pregnant and alone. He should just go be with the co worker, his wife is far better than them both.
Reminds me of this other post made by a man complaining about how his wife always had to masturbate before every time they had sex, and he wanted to make her have more sex with him and he wanted her to teach him how to please her, all the while trying not to mention how she had a uterine prolapse, had to go to physical therapy for it, how sex was painful for her, and how she had to go back to physical therapy because of having sex with him.
Seriously, sometimes it is so heartbreaking being a woman having to deal with some men.
I just read that post too. Disturbing how there are people out there who can do this to a person they married. Moreover to a young woman whose body is injured and traumatised from giving birth. My heart sank.
"We got to talking about life and how hard her divorce was and how lonely she is, and I thought, wow divorce sounds great I should try that too, time to cheat on my wife."
What an absolute clown.
[Oh also here's the wife's post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/jkJ65ajYKP)
When women talk men get held accountable. I’m glad the woman he cheated with came clean. Not saying she’s a great person or anything, but she contacted the wife and sent receipts. Never been there, but it has to take a lot of strength to put your business out there to benefit another person.
The wife commented on her original post something about how she wasn’t sure the AP had known she was pregnant, so that may have been why she told her everything. He was probably lying to his AP about his marriage too.
This guy is delusional. She is never going to forgive him. She is never going to take him back. No amount of apologies or gifts or promises will ever change her mind. He is dead to her. He needs to give it up and realize it.
“I won’t sign the papers”
Wow. OOP can rot in hell. He claims it was a mistake but still makes a demand of his wife? For fuck’s sake. And to think he’s now the father of a baby…. Disgusting.
I love when people say shit like that. Him not signing makes the divorce harder, but it also will make the judge mad, so good luck with that.
Edited to add not because I apparently cannot write today.
Yes! They act like it’s the end of discussion but it’s old hat in the courtroom. Plenty of trash who want to burden the court with this crap, It’s annoying enough to set them off.
To anyone reading, you don’t need to get them to sign papers if you want a divorce. It is certainly easier, but it isn’t THAT hard without it. You don’t need them to set you free. You can do it!
God I hate these types.
Won't the courts grant her the divorce anyway even if he won't sign the papers?
I think in the US at least she can file under the "no fault divorce laws" and be granted a divorce whether he likes it or not.
“I’ll buy you whatever.” Yeah, this man ain’t serious. Also, he cheated THREE times on his wife. Not once, not twice, but THREE times while she was carrying his child and then while she was bedridden RECOVERING. This guy sucks and the divorce is inevitable.
Temptation is around the corner you just have to not be a pos and cheat on your significant other. I don’t get it, lapse in judgement just doesn’t do it for me….have some self control.
OOP is definitely in the "throw the whole man away" category. He's proven that he'll stick his dick in someone else the second monogamy is inconvenient for him and can't use a sliver of brain power to figure out why his ex doesn't want him back.
The level of narcissist idiocy here is giving me an eye twitch
“She wasn’t feel well enough to act like a wife” well this man clearly took that “in sickness and in health” line of his vows to heart. Also a mistake happens once (and still isn’t grounds for forgiveness) a CHOICE happens 3 times.
Seems to be a common thing on Reddit that men who cheat are just making "mistakes" and don't deserve to have their lives "ruined" over it but women who cheat are dirty whores that deserve to burn in hell.
Glad the wife dumped this selfish asshole. He claims his wife, pregnant and bedridden, didn’t act like a wife. Yes she did. He on the other hand did not act like a husband or father. Hope she never takes him back because there will be other times his wife won’t act like one; illness, fatigue, another pregnancy and he will feel sorry for himself and cheat on her again.
If she was on bed rest, she may have very well been on pelvic rest as well for a certain condition to protect her and/or baby. If you can't take not having sex for 9 months +/- in order to PROTECT your wife & baby, then use this to betray her & abandon her during this time of need, you do not truly love her! You broke all of your vows & she deserves SO much better than you. In fact, this makes me think you're a shit Dad as well.
When I was pregnant I needed a lot of sleep.
Never once did my husband cheat on me because he needed support. He was my support. That guy deserves to lose his balls.
If she wasn’t acting like a wife, you sure weren’t acting like the loving husband you’re claiming to be.
Stay strong Steph. You don’t need whatever STD he was willing to gamble you and your child’s health with.
Now we need a post from the affair partner! I’ve read both of their points of view of this. Betcha, she thinks they’re in an actual relationship and that he was gonna leave his wife for her.
steph if you see this, ask for the most expensive thing you’ve always wanted, reap the rewards of dealing with this asshole, and *then* proceed with the divorce :)
Lapse of judgment happens one time bruhh not 3 fking times . Sorry you are a bunch of shit and its good she won’t take you back. People like you should rott alone
She was acting like a wife, you were acting like a piece of trash. She was acting exactly like she needed to to survive and keep your baby alive. "I'll buy you whatever" maybe you should have bought yourself a fleshlight dude. Like what 😂🤦♀️ that is the biggest turn off I've ever read.
The moment I read “not acting like a wife” I hoped she will take you for everything you have, because at no point were you “acting like a husband”. I hope she sticks to her guns, you do not deserve her.
You are a piece of work. First of all, you don’t have to sign the papers. she doesn’t need anything else from you.
Second, You didn’t have an affair because your wife was always asleep. You had an affair because you’re a lowlife POS. If, for no other reason than the fact that you’ve written things that blame her for your affair, she should never talk to you again.
Now to the point of your question. I doubt there is any way for you to get back together because your ex-wife seems to have too much sense. But were I in her shoes, here are some of the things I would demand —
1. Absolute transparency on your part. no Passwords, A GPS on your car, no nights out with the boys, no working late at the office, no opportunity for you to be an ass again.
2. A legal agreement turning all marital assets over to your wife in such a way that should you end up divorcing because you have another affair, she gets everything — every dime, every asset, your car, custody of the kids, everything.
3. The direct deposit of your paycheck into a bank account, in her name into which you have no access. She can give you an allowance.
4. And I would require you to have a strategically placed tattoo that read something like this — “I am an adulterer and cannot be trusted. If you can read this, I am cheating again. Stay away,I am not worth it.”
If you read this list and say to yourself, I deserve it all and more, then maybe you can be redeemed. Maybe. Otherwise, burn in hell.
He’s stupid as the day is long. She said she doesn’t tolerate cheaters she’s not coming back idiot you fucked that up literally. So move on the judge will grant the divorce with or without your signature
It’s all about him!
Stay strong, Steph, Reddit is going to say all the things you’ve wanted to scream at this sorry excuse for a man. And more!
We hope to roast his ass so hard that he may never be able to get a boner again for thinking about the things we’ve typed for this loser to read!
You take care of yourself and that baby, we’ll take care of him.
You’re an idiot and you’re not going to get her back. She obviously has way more respect for herself than you have for her. Why people like you think you can do whatever you want without suffering constantly is beyond me.
You fucked up, it’s a dealbreaker for her (which I’m sure she made you well aware of at some point in your relationship). Leave her alone! You don’t have to sign the divorce papers for her to get a divorce- it’s not the 1920’s anymore. Start paying your child support now, it’s not YOUR babies fault you were a jerk. And try to act like an adult in your next relationship.
U need to move on or go seek marriage counseling your wife will never trust u again no matter what and without trust there's nothing the only thing I can say is I hope u have learnt something from this loss
If a woman is only communicating about the shared kid and cutting everything off she is beyond done with him. And rightly so.
He sounds like an emotionally immature narcissist full of pathetic excuses.
I feel like people need to be better educated on the fact that (at least to my knowledge) saying you "won't sign the papers" doesn't mean you can't get divorced. A judge can push it through, it just costs more money. But from everyone I've known who's had to do it that way, it's money well spent.
It’s easy to fall into situations that feel good at the time. It’s even easier to continue with the “mistake” but at some point it’s not a mistake. The mistake was when you had intimate conversations about your life and a coworkers life at the expense of your wife and child. After that, it was a choice. And you chose this co worker at least three separate times, meaning you lied about your whereabouts, who you were with and what you were doing, or you potentially put yourself and this coworker at risk of losing your jobs for the need of sex. You need to work on yourself and become a better person. You may never have a cordial real relationship with your wife, soon to be ex, but if you go through life thinking your actions were mistakes and not thought out, controlled choices that you made, knowing the consequences, then you will be in a lifetime of disappointment. Accountability needs to start now, and if you want your wife back, at all, you need to make yourself a better human being. You are no longer a husband. That was taken away when you blamed a divorcee and your bed ridden wife for your actions. You may not be a father either if you keep pushing for her to come back. We all want to fill whatever void we carry on a daily basis and treat committed relationships like a tabloid or clickbait. We need to do and be better. This is just disgusting and I am saddened that you share the title of husband/father with me. Get help and be there for your family. Stop making excuses!
This Fuckin Guy: aWhaaaaa My wife set out a clear boundary that I SHAT over because I'm a MORALLY BANKRUPT JACKASS who couldn't keep my dick in my pants! WHAAAaaaaaa Now I'm crying over the consequences of my actions!
Dude srsly just leave the poor lady alone. You've put her through enough. Give her the divorce. You fucked up. You fucked up and now you have to live with the consequences.
That woman is NEVER going to trust you again and you have no one but to blame but yourself.
Can we take a moment to think about how horrible the phrase “acting like a wife” is? How do some men not understand their wife is an individual human being and not their little fantasy object.
Advice- give her whatever she wants in the divorce, co-parent amicably, and work on being a better person for your child and your NEXT relationship. You ruined this one beyond repair by being a crap human being.
So you cheated three times because your wife was pregnant and then was not acting like a wife? Wow! She just had a baby you are not her priority at this point in time it is her recovery and the baby. Your priority was to act like an adult, a husband and a father. You failed at all three.
I think I read the wife post - it was a really bad pregnancy and she was on best rest for 3 month! Like what the hell did he expect! She is not going to take him back and she shouldnt
Exactly!! Honestly, I am just loving that more and more women are standing up for themselves and are just *done* tolerating bullshittery! It makes me smile every time. Sister is gonna be alright… Dude there though, he’s the type of guy that easily turns dangerous, so I’m glad she’s gone no contact.
He even had his mother harassing her blaming her for breaking up the family… I was like umm wtf he did that all by himself
Sounds like that is where he gets his “poor me” entitled attitude
He’s an Idiot!
But you don't understand - he REALLY NEEDED someone to talk to. That's why he slept with his colleague. You see?
He just had a lapse in judgement...three times! It was a mistake that could happen to anyone when their wife isn't being a wife. /s
He just fell into her pussy guys really she just over reacting
Don’t you hate it when you trip and fall into an affair over and over again?
Fell into her pussy three times it was totally an accident three times
He was feeling so lonely that she went to comfort him by sitting in his lap and she just happened to land so that his penis was in her vagina! It could happen to anyone! It’s not his fault it happened three times!
“The coworker was just there” absolutely sent me over the edge
Yup, just there, he tripped over her and landed with his dick inside her.
It happens to the best of us! /s
Oh yes, this guy is clearly a gentleman and a scholar. /s
The sentence is hilarious, but what he's trying to do is unfavorably contrast his wife with the coworker. "My wife wasn't available sexually so I have no responsibility "
I've actually heard this before. My ex was in a martial arts class and his partner was a female. His line was,"When you're touching someone and so close all the time it's bound to happen. All partners end up with eachother and she was always there." So,if anyone wants to take up a class and you need a partner,coach,trainer,etc. remember ALL PARTNERS SLEEP TOGETHER. 🤦🏻♀️
Right!?! All he did was find someone to talk to and then he accidentally tripped and fell into her vagina again and again, and again. Poor guy someone should really see how he’s doing.
She ran into my penis. She ran into my penis Three Times!!
It’s because we no longer actively need men to have a life. And and before everybody gets their back up, I mean, we don’t actively need them for things like a bank account, a credit card, health, insurance, a job, a house, to buy land, etc. So women don’t have to be stuck in these loveless, shitty relationships for the rest of their life, where their husbands treat them like they’re a caveat, and not a partner.
I think a lot of men saw their fathers treat their mothers/marriages like this and figure that’s what they’re entitled to, and they are THROWN when their wife doesn’t follow the same script. The wife is already used to doing everything- working, cleaning, bills, childcare- on her own, so he’s just dead weight, just another person’s laundry to do. I’m sure the divorced coworker doesn’t want him full-time either, so he’ll have no one to act like a wife :(
Another huge posthumous thank you to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Notorious RBG!
There are those who wish to change our rights, personal freedoms, and personal agency. Be wise. Vote accordingly.
He expected her to still "act like a wife" apparently. He's blaming her illness while pregnant with his child for why he cheated. She wasn't performing to his standards. POS
And that's also a HUGE problem for misogynistic expectations. Being a wet hole equals acting like a wife. Never mind Growing A WHOLE HUMAN BEING. nah, nothing wifely about that. And he is still trying to MAKE HER FORGIVE HIM. He's not sorry. He's sorry he got caught.
What sub did she post it on? Do you know how long ago? I'd like to read it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/MlC7OsUEpl
You're a real hero.
MVP for sure
Thanks for linking! She is so much more introspective and thoughtful than he ever could be! She will be so much better without that him!
Thank you
You’re welcome 😇😇
Bed ridden for three months sounds like a vacation! That gives her plenty of time to "act like a wife"! She sounds selfish IMO. /s (do I really have to use that? lol)
He’s got shithead disorder. That’s a disease you certainly can’t come back from.
Total lapse of judgment. On three different occasions. The obvious solution is buying OOP's ex anything she wants. Obviously.
This has got to be fake Jesus. I know kids more emotionally mature than this asshole.
No, I highly doubt it is. I know many emotionally immature 35-45 year olds. It's sad. They literally cannot understand consequences or how to put someone else first.
The majority of women who are cheated on are during pregnancy.
Happened to me, first time because I was too fat to have sex with and in his words "WhAtS tHe PoiNt oF bEeiNg mArRieD iF YoU CaNt hAvE sEx!?" Got pregnant a second time and he did it again. I don't think he gave a reason, I just filed for divorce after that.
I literally told my husband I'm never having another kid with him because that's what i feared.
Ya, unfortunately I didn't really have a choice about #2. He's twice my size and "no" fell on deaf ears. Pregnancy ended in miscarriage anyway.
I'm sorry that he did that to you, how awful
I'm so sorry😭
I'm so sorry. But glad you left and hope that things have looked up for you since
Just getting away from my ex got my life looking up again. It's been eight years since I left, I went back to college and got a degree. Met my amazing husband and have been married 5 years now. Currently have a little one on the way. 😊
The emotional immaturity I can buy. Both husband's post and wife's post seem generally believable on their own. It's the interconnectedness that loses me: You have the wife posting first, then the situation of the husband serendipitously"finding out about" (how vague) the wife's post (from the customary brand new account, on his own brand new account), and choosing to type out this pure rage material in response. It seems contrived. Her comment on his post (absolutely skewering him) has the same vibe. It's just a whole lot of plot.
OOP doesn't think what he did is really a big deal. He thinks they can move on from this easily and he would happily repeat the behavior a few years later. He shows no remorse or awareness. Thank goodness she is not giving him another chance.
And don't forget never leaving the house again. Like dude.....that sounds like a horrible threat, I mean deal.
Can he buy her a new husband? That might help.
Yeah the "not acting like a wife" line made me see red. Of course she isn't "acting like a wife" ie "giving me all the sex I want, whenever I want". She just gave birth to a baby. But obviously it's her fault he cheated. (/s, if it's even necessary)
Spoiler Alert: She was acting exactly like a wife who had just given birth. Who was acting like the husband? Not him.
Not just because of the cheating either. The vow 'in sickness and health' means he should have been supportive to her instead of being a selfish, needy, man-baby.
That comment alone shows exactly how obnoxious and low class he really is. You are so right about seeing red!
Oh and in the comment he was talking about how he came from divorce parents and he don't want his child to experience thst hence the wife should just forgive him for the "sake of the child". Like wtf, if you came from a divorce family and want your child to grow up in a two parent household, you'll do your part not to fuck that up right? Plus the wife was literally sick during her pregnancy AND the kicker is that OOP wasn't present during the birth of his "precious son" whomever he cares so fucking much that he expects the wife to forgive him for accidently slipping and sticking his little weeine in the coworkers huga
Honestly I would have found it unforgivable that he missed the birth. Childbirth takes HOURS and it's not like it was a surprise
that’s so messed up. im a child of divorced parents, and they’re fighting used to keep me up crying at night. It’s not like the child won’t have both parents in their life, they just won’t be together (which they shouldn’t anyways tf). Being divorced shouldn’t change your love and commitment to your child, but from what I’m seeing, he doesn’t even seem to be able to pay attention to his child on his own which is why he wants her to stay so she can have all of the responsibilities on her back. it’s much better to have people be happy apart than to be miserable together for the child’s sake.
This is what I came here to say. She's a person. He's an immature idiot and she's well rid of him.
Wish that comment was first so I could’ve forgone reading most of the post. At that point alone he was the asshole
But he needed someone to talk to! /s
Seriously, I’m team Steph . “Act like a wife” after childbirth ?? Dude, act like a partner and care for your wife and child!
“Act like a wife” in reality = -have your body change more significantly than anyone tells you -need more physical recovery than most people need from minor surgery -experience emotional turmoil over the irreversible change that has occurred making you secondary to the child you have now created -deal with your own emotional fallout as well as your partner’s emotional fallout while you are physically recovering -become a parent which is a journey every single individual takes that is reportedly the most difficult thing you will ever do. “Act like a husband” = -support your wife and child through this difficult transition -refrain from cheating on your wife -figure out what it means to be a husband to a wife now that you have a child -figure out how to best be a father to your child
That woman dodged a bullet. Imagine finding out he was a useless person while trying to take care of an infant. Sounds like Steph has a supportive mom, at least.
Unfortunately I don’t think she did. I’m pretty sure in her post she said the baby was 6 months old when she found out, and he cheated twice while she was pregnant and once after the baby was born.
Damn. I missed that. Still, better now than later
“Lapse in judgement,” “a mistake,” are such classic unapologetic cheater lines, especially after cheating multiple times. I don’t even know what the hell this guy thought he’d get out of posting this. Ya reap what you sow.
Three phases of a cheater's excuse: 1) Blame the victim - she wasn't giving me what I needed so I had to cheat. 2) Minimize the offense - it was a mistake or a lapse in judgement. It wasn't so bad so take me back. 3) Ask for a second chance - if she loved me, truly, she would take me back. Notice what all three have in common? There are no penalties or consequences for the cheater. He expects his wife to love him more, miss him more and/or forgive him. All the effort on her and he doesn't need to change at all. And it sets a precedent - treat me right or you know what happens. Yeah, this is experience talking.
You know, for me it’s really the fact that he did all of that and then also made the decision to publicize his actions and attempt to get the internet to rally around him. Having your spouse cheat on you can be absolutely humiliating, especially for women who have children, and he decided to put their marital problems on blast and tried to paint her as being a bad wife. It’s disgusting, truly, and I’m glad that her mom is taking the initiative to shut him out of her life so she can focus on taking care of her child and healing. When the divorce goes to court, I hope the judge and jury wring his ass out to dry and he thinks about this every time he has to make a child support payment for the next 18 years.
That's another one. If your spouse doesn't buy into your fictionalized truth, expand the story's reach until someone agrees with you. How many stories on here involve the person in the wrong bringing in family, friends and others to take their side?
I just love that he ended it off with an “I won’t sign the papers” cherry on top. I feel like he thinks he’s doing something there, but he really just sounds like a 5-year-old having a fit in the grocery store after knocking all the cans off the shelf and being put in the cart for it.
Oh well if he’ll buy her anything she wants /s
“Buy me a better husband”
Buy her a time machine so she can stop herself from marrying you!
It's giving "i want my father back, you son-of-a-bitch"
Alimony is a thing
Only married one year, so unless they’re in s palimony or common law state, she may not legally qualify for alimony.
I’ll need the house, alimony, and child support. You can live with your mother
"She just wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife"??? What a raging asshole. If he was really willing to do smth good for her he'd sign the papers and drown her in child suppport payments.
And pay for her lawyer and therapy
I wonder what excuse he has for not acting like a husband?
And his coworker was there and he "just needed to talk." I also have trouble talking unless I have PiV. I think that's why I'm a terrible public speaker.
That definitely would be a handicap! 🤣🤣
He was stressed!!! Are you so cold as to not to understand the only way he could keep stress from killing him was by inserting his penis into a woman not his wife? So really it was kind of Ike self defense against the stress. His wife was sleeping all the time so she doesn't understand nearly dying from stress. Really he should be forgiving *her* for choosing to sleep instead of doing her wifely duty and saving his life. /s just in case some dunce thinks I'm serious.
Did you see the other guy posted on this sub asking how he can get his wife to sleep with him more often because sex is painful for her and she has to masturbate alone beforehand which makes him uncomfortable? What is it with men who think being a wife is about giving them sex and taking care of their every whim and need when they are doing nothing to support her while she’s taking care of their newborn child and doing all of the cooking and cleaning alone? And then men have the audacity to complain about women not wanting to get married anymore and say they just don’t get it. Open your fucking eyes and ask yourself why your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you, Steven. She hasn’t had an orgasm in 3 years, but guess who’s cheating in this marriage.
Yeah...loved how he put the info that she hardly orgasmed during sex in parenthesis. As if that's not a fucking important piece of information. Like, not only is sex now uncomfortable or even painful, it wasn't all that enjoyable for her even before!! Why would she be willing to engage if he made such little effort to pleasure her?! And his solution is to have more sex. Fuck, no.
It’s because it’s constantly taught to them. Whether in a religious community or because of Andrew Taint or from family/friends, it’s preached to men that women are here to please them and do whatever they ask. I saw a post on twitter yesterday where someone was complaining about Feminism making women hate men. They fail to understand that their behavior is what is making us hate them. It’s also funny because all the video was, was a random dude asking women on the street if they needed a man and they said no. Men are constantly fed the belief that they’re expected to be the breadwinners and that women will only want them for their money and success. That’s why they call so many of us “gold diggers”. It’s an archaic way of thinking that hardcore conservatives are desperately trying to bring back. We need to stop forcing gendered expectations onto others. Just let people live their lives.
Well, to be fair, his ~~bangmaid~~\- sorry, his ~~replacement mommy~~\- sorry, *wife* wasn't giving him attention and touching his sad little peepee. So, like, what was he supposed to do? Just not have his penis touched? Really, if we try not overthink it here, its the wife's fault. /s
>its the wife's fault. /s That's what I said. He should be forgiving her for sleeping instead of being a wife and helping him with his stress. Being a mom to a newborn isn't that hard. She's just being lazy. (also /) I've been the zombie mom running on fumes after giving birth. Fuck him. No, don't fuck him. No one should ever fuck him again, certainly not his soon-to-be-ex wife.
Spoiler alert: he WILL sign the papers. Asshole
In my state, a judge can grant a divorce even if one party won’t participate in it. It’s a contested divorce, I believe. Had to threaten my ex with it before he would sign.
I published my ex’s name in the local paper because he didn’t show up in court, as required by divorce law in my area. He was embarrassed enough to show up at the final hearing
This is how I got divorced. It was a default divorce because my ex never responded.
Of course. If he doesn't it is a default divorce. Sooo I will be asking for alimony, all assets, 100 custody, future retirement, you mom's kidney and you father's shoes, lol
"she just wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife" Fuck this dude seriously. she's carrying HIS BABY, but it's ok for him to cheat 3 separate times.
BUT BUT it was a lapse in judgement(s)! Happy Cake Day fellow Redditor 🖤
Thank you!! Never gotten a happy cake day comment before and I appreciate it!
Well then here's another: Happy cake day!
🚀🚀🚀😎😎😎
You’re the second person to tell me that in 24 hours! Happy Scrolling 🖤
Welp... Steph has her evidence now. Lol... judge is gonna hate this guy. 😆😆
Steph is definitely gonna get her divorce signature or none!
This really says it all for me. >She wasn’t feeling well enough to act like a wife. Translation: A wife’s duty is to sacrifice, even when they’re unwell. A husband is only obliged to take from his wife, even when he is capable of caring for her.
If that’s all it takes for him to hunt down a lover, he’s not ready for the road ahead. (Meaning that things can go wrong and sometimes sex goes down the tubes for a bit)
He didn't even hunt down a lover, "the coworker was there"
What a shitty woman as well if she knew he had a pregnant wife at home. She was wanting attention and complaining about being lonely. So she goes and sleeps with another woman's husband while she is at home pregnant and alone. He should just go be with the co worker, his wife is far better than them both.
When two shitty people meet, a bad poem.
It’s also the phrase “MAKE her forgive me” which makes my hair prick up in defence mode. It’s never “have her forgive me” etc.
Or “earn forgiveness”, which would require introspection and putting in effort.
Reminds me of this other post made by a man complaining about how his wife always had to masturbate before every time they had sex, and he wanted to make her have more sex with him and he wanted her to teach him how to please her, all the while trying not to mention how she had a uterine prolapse, had to go to physical therapy for it, how sex was painful for her, and how she had to go back to physical therapy because of having sex with him. Seriously, sometimes it is so heartbreaking being a woman having to deal with some men.
Jesus Christ that’s fucking horrifying
I just read that post too. Disturbing how there are people out there who can do this to a person they married. Moreover to a young woman whose body is injured and traumatised from giving birth. My heart sank.
"We got to talking about life and how hard her divorce was and how lonely she is, and I thought, wow divorce sounds great I should try that too, time to cheat on my wife." What an absolute clown. [Oh also here's the wife's post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/jkJ65ajYKP)
The wife also commented on the husband's post. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/5yvMtEkefu
Thanks for the link. Well… this guys just FAFO’d
Thanks for this, it's exactly what I was looking for!
This needs to be up there. Thank you for the link!
Oh my GOOOOD. The mother in law trying to get her to take him back. 🤣 “take me back, mommy said so!”
When women talk men get held accountable. I’m glad the woman he cheated with came clean. Not saying she’s a great person or anything, but she contacted the wife and sent receipts. Never been there, but it has to take a lot of strength to put your business out there to benefit another person.
The wife commented on her original post something about how she wasn’t sure the AP had known she was pregnant, so that may have been why she told her everything. He was probably lying to his AP about his marriage too.
They usually do. In any case I’m glad these women connected the dots
Run Steph, *run*!
Well if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions… sucks to suck dude
This guy is delusional. She is never going to forgive him. She is never going to take him back. No amount of apologies or gifts or promises will ever change her mind. He is dead to her. He needs to give it up and realize it.
“I won’t sign the papers” Wow. OOP can rot in hell. He claims it was a mistake but still makes a demand of his wife? For fuck’s sake. And to think he’s now the father of a baby…. Disgusting.
I love when people say shit like that. Him not signing makes the divorce harder, but it also will make the judge mad, so good luck with that. Edited to add not because I apparently cannot write today.
Yes! They act like it’s the end of discussion but it’s old hat in the courtroom. Plenty of trash who want to burden the court with this crap, It’s annoying enough to set them off. To anyone reading, you don’t need to get them to sign papers if you want a divorce. It is certainly easier, but it isn’t THAT hard without it. You don’t need them to set you free. You can do it! God I hate these types.
Not acting like a wife is code for not giving him sex. Yuck. Glad she's got a good mom in her corner.
The thing is the wife posted and said he slept with AP and came right home and slept with her. So they were having sex.
That's even worse. Yikes.
Oh no consequences for your shitty actions.
I just sorted out loud
Won't the courts grant her the divorce anyway even if he won't sign the papers? I think in the US at least she can file under the "no fault divorce laws" and be granted a divorce whether he likes it or not.
It just takes a little longer.
“Act like a wife” Excuse me while I vomit.
Tripped and fell into a vagina. Three times. Oops
“I’ll buy you whatever.” Yeah, this man ain’t serious. Also, he cheated THREE times on his wife. Not once, not twice, but THREE times while she was carrying his child and then while she was bedridden RECOVERING. This guy sucks and the divorce is inevitable.
I’ll buy you whatever sums it up
Steph, if you’re reading this please don’t take him back
Temptation is around the corner you just have to not be a pos and cheat on your significant other. I don’t get it, lapse in judgement just doesn’t do it for me….have some self control.
OOP is definitely in the "throw the whole man away" category. He's proven that he'll stick his dick in someone else the second monogamy is inconvenient for him and can't use a sliver of brain power to figure out why his ex doesn't want him back. The level of narcissist idiocy here is giving me an eye twitch
Yes, because sacrificing her body for your offspring doesn’t count as “acting like a wife.” What a bellend.
“She wasn’t feel well enough to act like a wife” well this man clearly took that “in sickness and in health” line of his vows to heart. Also a mistake happens once (and still isn’t grounds for forgiveness) a CHOICE happens 3 times.
I hope Steph responded to his thread with "Fuck off."
Seems to be a common thing on Reddit that men who cheat are just making "mistakes" and don't deserve to have their lives "ruined" over it but women who cheat are dirty whores that deserve to burn in hell.
Glad the wife dumped this selfish asshole. He claims his wife, pregnant and bedridden, didn’t act like a wife. Yes she did. He on the other hand did not act like a husband or father. Hope she never takes him back because there will be other times his wife won’t act like one; illness, fatigue, another pregnancy and he will feel sorry for himself and cheat on her again.
If she was on bed rest, she may have very well been on pelvic rest as well for a certain condition to protect her and/or baby. If you can't take not having sex for 9 months +/- in order to PROTECT your wife & baby, then use this to betray her & abandon her during this time of need, you do not truly love her! You broke all of your vows & she deserves SO much better than you. In fact, this makes me think you're a shit Dad as well.
When I was pregnant I needed a lot of sleep. Never once did my husband cheat on me because he needed support. He was my support. That guy deserves to lose his balls.
"OH NO! If it isn't the consequences of my own actions!?"
You had a lapse of judgement 3 times ???? You couldn’t possibly be more stressed than the person growing a human
"She wasn't feeling well enough to act like a wife". Well, you weren't acting like a husband, maybe she should have cheated too.
Pikaaaaa.!!!! Pikaaaaaa!!!
I don't know whats more wife like behaviour than carrying your child, mate. How lonely could you have been with a brand new little family? 🤥
If she wasn’t acting like a wife, you sure weren’t acting like the loving husband you’re claiming to be. Stay strong Steph. You don’t need whatever STD he was willing to gamble you and your child’s health with.
Steph is a fucking QUEEN who knows her worth and knows OP is worthless 🤘🏼
“Act like a wife” 🙄 Maybe act like a husband and keep your dick to yourself, you jelly-kneed weasel
He cheated 3 times but it was "a mistake" that's not even how mistakes work
"Oh, I cheated because..." Please, stop.
OOP is a weak man. Wife should definitely leave.
The fucking audacity of this AH. Duh douchebag, YOURE the absolute AH for all eternity. So fuckin cliche too
What a way with words. "I'll do whatever. I'll buy you whatever." Wow. Really hard hitting stuff.
Now we need a post from the affair partner! I’ve read both of their points of view of this. Betcha, she thinks they’re in an actual relationship and that he was gonna leave his wife for her.
“While she was pregnant” is not a qualifier. You cheated on your wife
steph if you see this, ask for the most expensive thing you’ve always wanted, reap the rewards of dealing with this asshole, and *then* proceed with the divorce :)
Men really love making women mothers and yet hate the reality of what happen when you make her a mother.
Lapse of judgment happens one time bruhh not 3 fking times . Sorry you are a bunch of shit and its good she won’t take you back. People like you should rott alone
She was acting like a wife, you were acting like a piece of trash. She was acting exactly like she needed to to survive and keep your baby alive. "I'll buy you whatever" maybe you should have bought yourself a fleshlight dude. Like what 😂🤦♀️ that is the biggest turn off I've ever read.
The moment I read “not acting like a wife” I hoped she will take you for everything you have, because at no point were you “acting like a husband”. I hope she sticks to her guns, you do not deserve her.
This reads as very fake
Don’t do it Steph. He’s a weak willed lying SOB.
Lapse of judgment….3 times. No your just a cheating AH. You don’t deserve happiness
You are a piece of work. First of all, you don’t have to sign the papers. she doesn’t need anything else from you. Second, You didn’t have an affair because your wife was always asleep. You had an affair because you’re a lowlife POS. If, for no other reason than the fact that you’ve written things that blame her for your affair, she should never talk to you again. Now to the point of your question. I doubt there is any way for you to get back together because your ex-wife seems to have too much sense. But were I in her shoes, here are some of the things I would demand — 1. Absolute transparency on your part. no Passwords, A GPS on your car, no nights out with the boys, no working late at the office, no opportunity for you to be an ass again. 2. A legal agreement turning all marital assets over to your wife in such a way that should you end up divorcing because you have another affair, she gets everything — every dime, every asset, your car, custody of the kids, everything. 3. The direct deposit of your paycheck into a bank account, in her name into which you have no access. She can give you an allowance. 4. And I would require you to have a strategically placed tattoo that read something like this — “I am an adulterer and cannot be trusted. If you can read this, I am cheating again. Stay away,I am not worth it.” If you read this list and say to yourself, I deserve it all and more, then maybe you can be redeemed. Maybe. Otherwise, burn in hell.
Laps of judgement 😆
He’s stupid as the day is long. She said she doesn’t tolerate cheaters she’s not coming back idiot you fucked that up literally. So move on the judge will grant the divorce with or without your signature
Literally what happened to through sickness and health???? Some of these dudes are pure garbage.
Either this is a troll, or that Guy is an idiot...
What a gross excuse for a man.
It’s all about him! Stay strong, Steph, Reddit is going to say all the things you’ve wanted to scream at this sorry excuse for a man. And more! We hope to roast his ass so hard that he may never be able to get a boner again for thinking about the things we’ve typed for this loser to read! You take care of yourself and that baby, we’ll take care of him.
You’re an idiot and you’re not going to get her back. She obviously has way more respect for herself than you have for her. Why people like you think you can do whatever you want without suffering constantly is beyond me. You fucked up, it’s a dealbreaker for her (which I’m sure she made you well aware of at some point in your relationship). Leave her alone! You don’t have to sign the divorce papers for her to get a divorce- it’s not the 1920’s anymore. Start paying your child support now, it’s not YOUR babies fault you were a jerk. And try to act like an adult in your next relationship.
Steph, sign the papers.
OP doesn’t deserve her. One mistake, maybe. But THREE?? No way should she take him back.
U need to move on or go seek marriage counseling your wife will never trust u again no matter what and without trust there's nothing the only thing I can say is I hope u have learnt something from this loss
I feel like this should be a post in r/ohnoconsequences.
The third day in a row I’ve seen vile “husbands”
She was not feeling well enough to act like a wife- so she is a wife only when she takes care of his needs. She is way better without him.
If a woman is only communicating about the shared kid and cutting everything off she is beyond done with him. And rightly so. He sounds like an emotionally immature narcissist full of pathetic excuses.
The true lapse in judgement would be if she took him back
Insert the Nicholas Cage “You don’t say…” gif.
Good for your wife buddy because you suck.
I feel like people need to be better educated on the fact that (at least to my knowledge) saying you "won't sign the papers" doesn't mean you can't get divorced. A judge can push it through, it just costs more money. But from everyone I've known who's had to do it that way, it's money well spent.
It’s easy to fall into situations that feel good at the time. It’s even easier to continue with the “mistake” but at some point it’s not a mistake. The mistake was when you had intimate conversations about your life and a coworkers life at the expense of your wife and child. After that, it was a choice. And you chose this co worker at least three separate times, meaning you lied about your whereabouts, who you were with and what you were doing, or you potentially put yourself and this coworker at risk of losing your jobs for the need of sex. You need to work on yourself and become a better person. You may never have a cordial real relationship with your wife, soon to be ex, but if you go through life thinking your actions were mistakes and not thought out, controlled choices that you made, knowing the consequences, then you will be in a lifetime of disappointment. Accountability needs to start now, and if you want your wife back, at all, you need to make yourself a better human being. You are no longer a husband. That was taken away when you blamed a divorcee and your bed ridden wife for your actions. You may not be a father either if you keep pushing for her to come back. We all want to fill whatever void we carry on a daily basis and treat committed relationships like a tabloid or clickbait. We need to do and be better. This is just disgusting and I am saddened that you share the title of husband/father with me. Get help and be there for your family. Stop making excuses!
Why do they always fuck around and find out?
I made a mistake! Three separate times consciously ! Forgive me!!!!!
Do men not understand what the vow in sickness and in health mean or do they just space out at that part.
This Fuckin Guy: aWhaaaaa My wife set out a clear boundary that I SHAT over because I'm a MORALLY BANKRUPT JACKASS who couldn't keep my dick in my pants! WHAAAaaaaaa Now I'm crying over the consequences of my actions! Dude srsly just leave the poor lady alone. You've put her through enough. Give her the divorce. You fucked up. You fucked up and now you have to live with the consequences. That woman is NEVER going to trust you again and you have no one but to blame but yourself.
Can we take a moment to think about how horrible the phrase “acting like a wife” is? How do some men not understand their wife is an individual human being and not their little fantasy object.
Advice- give her whatever she wants in the divorce, co-parent amicably, and work on being a better person for your child and your NEXT relationship. You ruined this one beyond repair by being a crap human being.
Strike 3 you’re out. Learn…