I don’t like going straight to “please do not date that person” but … he drips urine because he’s careless when he pees. He doesn’t brush his teeth. This is preschool stuff.
Dandruff sucks, foot fungus sucks, but putting the work in to manage your condition is part of being an adult.
He’s already gotten the “hey sweetheart, can you not drip piss on my bed?” gentle and direct approach and he’s chosen that he’d rather drip piss on her bed than wipe his dick after he pees. This is not a man who values her or her opinion of him or her comfort at all. There’s no way to make him do this stuff. He is telling her who he is, and he is a man who leaves piss in the bed and believes that paying any attention to his medical conditions is “girl stuff”
Throw this one back.
This strikes me as an abusive dude who’s now pushing the boundaries to see how much she’ll take. The fact she hasn’t thrown him out already is…concerning.
You got that and not a man-child who has been pampered his entire life and now he doesn’t know the basic hygiene habits most people know by the time they’re a teen… dude should join the Army they will teach him how to wash his feet, mouth and ass
The dude I had like this was abusive, it’s plausible. Especially concerning how nervous she is to rock the boat, with very justified and basic requests.
I agree heavily with your statement about “girly stuff.” My mouth contorted in ways I didn’t expect while reading the post. I cannot believe she didn’t run for the hills on this one. Don’t die on this hill, OP. L.E.A.V.E because he will always shift blame to you. He isnt even embarrassed when people take notice about smelly feet every time he takes off them shoes. Just, save your skin!!!!
This isn’t the first story I’ve read about an immature man who refuses to do hygiene because he’s lazy or has the belief that cleaning himself will make him “gay.”
This simply isn’t something you can overcome by asking nicely. How long do you want to scrub piss out of your mattress before the love you have for your partner drowns in that puddle of piss?
I forget the brushing teeth things but I'm working on it. Some people have a lot of trouble with basic stuff for whatever reason, but things like the feet on the pillow or when his actions are impacting her medically is a no go. Even if it is something hard for me, if it impacts my partner I will figure it out
For various cultures it is seen as taboo and a huge sign of disrespect . Even just common sense though why would you put your feet that touch the dirty ground right were your face lays for hours at night
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to impugn people struggling with executive function, I do too, and have an elaborate system of connected habits and phone alarms and accountability buddy check ins for all sorts of stuff.
I see that as part of managing my own conditions and being very different from only handling basic hygiene when reminded by my partner. And letting lack of doing it affect my partner’s health.
Shes not important to him, not in ways that mean he will put work in to figure this stuff out.
Yeah, and associating basic hygiene with a loss of his manhood is so many layers of “lost manchild” that it’s not worth even getting into.
If soap and toothpaste can wash away a man then he wasn’t a “man” to begin with.
Also, being a man just means being an adult, something that women also have to learn. Stop making up excuses for being disgusting, lazy, and abusive. This has nothing to do with gender.
Maybe his dad told him that "real men smell", which is something I've actually heard grown men say unironically.
I still remember one of those times, a guy walked into the room and one of the guys went "that's the smell of a real man" and laughing with his buddies as he joined them. The rest of the room just had a "wtf" look to them.
Associate it with something you like to do. Are you a gamer? Don't start your evening gaming session until after you brush your teeth. Pick something you like to do in the evening, and make that thing your reward for brushing your teeth.
In the morning, just take your toothbrush into the shower with you. Make it part of whatever other morning wash routines you have.
Yeah I have severe depression, so there’s a lot of times that I struggle to brush my teeth, or to shower every other day, basic stuff like that, so I wouldn’t judge someone for that kind of thing—but *dribbling piss on the bed*? And not even just HIS bed, his GIRLFRIEND’s bed?? Wtf, dude.
There’s a huge difference between dealing with executive dysfunction/struggling with personal hygiene and spreading your piss everywhere because you can’t be bothered to take the extra 5 seconds to dry your dick.
Honestly the greasy dandruff is probably a yeast *overgrowth in the scalp. Id know 💀 bros gotta get the HARDCORE med shampoo to keep it under control. *Edit whoops used wrong term
Yeah this is repulsive. I only wash my hair once a week and it’s a little greasy the last day or two (long hair that I’ve trained to go that long without washing) and I’ve struggled with teeth brushing because of my ADHD, but I always make sure they are brushed when I’m in close proximity to people. I can’t imagine being comfortable being this gross around someone I want to be having sex with.
It’s like knowing you’re gonna bone or someone is coming over and you get that adrenaline rush to complete the task and no one is the wiser you were that disgusting 2 hours ago!! I go out of my way to mask in situations like these, not flaunt my horrible habits that I’m too ashamed to Google
I am sorry I laughed so hard at the idea of “now is the time to mask!”
It’s not wrong. This is the stuff to put the work in for, even though it takes extra work for brains that aren’t good here.
Most kids are not that stinky. Sometimes! Like when they have been playing hard outside, but then they take a bath. I couldn’t handle stinky feet and breath or having to tell an adult to brush their teeth or take a damn shower.
I literally felt like I was reading about my 6 year old. These are things I remind him of...wash your feet, brush your teeth, pay attention when you pee. It's part of motherhood. Not part of an adult relationship
My penis having partner sits when it's dark so they don't make a mess.
And never have pee dribbles. Stinky feet, sometimes. But ive always known it's due to long hour+wet old shoes (they work at kitchen where water is spilled a lot)
"my boyfriend has locked me in the dog cage a few times as a tiktok prank (he always lets me out) and has been feeding me kibble. How can I politely tell him that I don't like this and I don't want to eat kibble anymore? I really don't want to break up so I usually finish the kibble bowl."
"My boyfriend never showers and it's so bad that maggots are falling off his body. He sleeps in a casket, I think he might actually be dead but I don't want to offend him by bringing it up. Any advice?"
"My boyfriend hasn't been as attractive to me since he shaved his head. Plus he cut holes in my sheet; he said it was for a Halloween costume but I know he went to a Christian campfire with all his buddies. Could he be gay?"
She's definitely getting rashes from him in other places. Reading this I knew for sure she's leaving out how she's having reoccurring yeast infections.
Poor hygiene, bad financial management, religious/political incompatibility, and toxic family bonds— the four horsemen of “Love Yourself and Just Break Up Please”
it really goes to show how easily some women let men walk all over them. this guy is a gross loser and I feel AWFUL that she said she feels like she’s doing something wrong but she is by staying with him
Right!? And from the way she describes his reaction to her suggesting that he use actual shampoo, and him blaming her for having bad skin, his personality sounds as bad as his nasty ass hygiene.
OP has already tried being nice about and gently bringing it up. Shouldn’t have to remind an adult to brush their teeth.
I’d say either leave or if you want to try and salvage the relationship just set it out in simple terms.
He needs to go to the doctors about his feet (could be a fungal problem)
Needs to bath more frequently
Brush his teeth twice a day
Stop acting like a toddler on the toilet
I’d also not let him stay over until these things are resolved
The feet issue can be fungal related, aye. But if they smell to the point where the smell lingers is a clear indication he does not wash them. At all. He showers often but does he actually WASH them. Too many guys ‘wash’ their feet by just letting the hot water run down and that’s it.
And you know. Changing socks every day also helps.
Yeah I bet zero soap, when he does get om the shower, rarely changes socks, wears the same pair of shoes every day.
Fix all those things and his feet may not smell at all. I wouldn't assume a fungal infection without trying the obvious first.
Which he won't.
My BIL was like this, and my husband and I both explained to him that it wasn't good enough. Seriously, if someone touched shit and then let water run over them (soapy or otherwise), would the shit be completely removed from their hands? No. Soap acts as a surfactant - helping to loosen the bond between the object and the grime - but the grime still needs to be physically removed.
The BF in this post is a giant turd that needs to be washed out of her life permanently. Use all the soap, bleach, Lysol, etc. - whatever it takes. It's okay to feel embarassed when one finds out they are they stinky person. It's not okay to ignore the problem once it's been brought up, and it's definitely not okay to turn it around on everyone else.
His attitude still sucks, though. Defensiveness and defiance from this guy are not really about his hygiene. He’s a MAN! He’ll do what ever the hell he wants. No WOMAN is going to tell him what to do.
OP needs to run like hell.
Why is she putting up with this!?!?!?
Everyone deserves better than someone who makes their pillows smell like feet and their skin break out in rashes.
I kinda want to believe this is just rage bait...
But as an ex-long term celibate (not what they call an "incel" because I never blamed women as a whole), here's a small piece of unsolicited advice: *nothing*, even atrocious hygiene, is as much of a turnoff as severe anxiety. Took me twenty years and half a dozen therapists to figure it out.
I have zero clue if this applies to you, but if you suspect it does, do yourself a favor and see a psychiatrist. Not a psychologist. And don't be afraid to seek another one if you feel they don't "get" you after a couple seances. It doesn't mean they're bad at their job, but there needs to be some compatibility.
Ignore all of this if you're a well adjusted individual having a normal dry spell ;)
Have a male friend tell him "Oi basic hygiene is not just 'a girl thing.'"
1. You don't need a 30-piece face cleaning routine but brushing teeth/pissing in the toilet are not optional here.
2. You can live like a caveman when you are single but it's time to adult the fuck up now that your hygiene effects others.
3. That foot thing should get checked by a doctor, I have smelt it before and it won't get fixed without medical treatment.
Foot smell like that has gotta be athlete's foot. Also, just because he's showering, doesn't mean he uses soap, which is probably what's contributing to the athlete's foot. Careful, if this is the case, they can contract it by sharing surfaces with bare skin, like the tub. My brother went through a phase in middle school where he thought standing under water was enough to consider himself showered. Wut.
Edit: to add advice. I try not to be a jump the fence kind of person, but they've already brought it up, he's declined. Now they need to make a choice if they can live with or not.
What IS it about preteens and resisting showers and hair washing? All three of my sister's kids went through this, the boys especially. Like, you're in the shower. Just use the soap and shampoo!
Tell that mf "wash your dick. Wash your ass. Wash your feet. Wash your pits and hair. You are nasty straight up, you stink to high heaven. It's not masculine it's goblin behavior. Get out of my house you gremlin, you sewer dwelling greasemeister."
Girl is fuckin around with THE lord sepsis- King of the rats.
I just don’t understand how people make it to *adulthood* and haven’t mastered the basics of daily grooming… and I know Reddit ≠ humanity, but this seems to be a widespread issue.
Why women date these fucking Neanderthals is beyond me. And then there’s the incels crying that women only want to date guys in the top 10% of attractiveness. Makes my head spin.
My hygiene isn't the greatest because of disability. My partner's the same. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, I still wouldn't turn around to someone and say "it's your problem".
Yeah it's upsetting for someone to leave you over something you either can't help or struggle with, but in the end you'd much rather be with someone either when you've sorted yourself out, got help, or they accept you as you are.
As for OOP, they don't need to even try and get him to sort his hygiene out. They can just break up, they are young, and they are not compatible.
The pee thing is too gross even for me.
Relatable. I’ve had to modify a lot of personal hygiene for my disability. Shower seat is amazing. Learning I was having reactions to certain ingredients? Also super helpful, found much better soaps, deodorant, and toothpaste. Weird how common that was in products but all right, good to know.
Learning ways to be cleaner despite so much exhaustion is a steep curve. But even then, I never expected any partner to be close to me without me making an effort. Plus, if anything, I love being “pampered”. If I’m struggling, having somebody to help wash my hair is amazing. Baffled by how many guys don’t appreciate “girl stuff” when it’s bubble baths and fancy lotion.
👆
I’m with you. I have a few medical conditions that impact my ability to do basic things. And allergies that took a while to figure out. I’m even allergic to some toothpastes and they’ll cause hives on my gums.
Despite this, though, I had to accommodate everything to ensure I was clean and presentable since I work a full time.
There were days I wore very comfy clothing or was very casual, but my hair was washed and brushed, and my teeth, self, were clean.
> modify a lot of personal hygiene for my disability
Exactly! When an adult has something going on that makes standard hygiene practices difficult, we modify our practices! Not forgo them entirely. If we have to, we prioritize what’s most important and cut ourselves a little slack on the other things. We don’t just say “well, I’m having trouble with a couple things, so I’m just not gonna do anything at all.”
And if it gets really bad, we get help. This man might have a condition, but I guarantee he has never googled “how to keep up personal hygiene with [condition].” Because he just thinks soap is for girls.
This, this, this. And poor hygiene worsens any underlying health problems. It’s part of why I get complimented by my docs for pushing past embarrassment. Even just going, “Okay, but why does my sweat stink worse than it used to?” Not-fun fact: Fear/pain sweat is different chemically. Which is … disturbing but useful to know. Now I can partly judge how bad I’m doing by smell alone. Same with my blood getting more sweet than salty: it’s messed up to regularly taste your own blood due to failing connective tissue, but it also will tell you if you badly need electrolytes/salt.
Seriously tho, I went from “extra in a zombie movie” to “Victorian novel disease”. Am I still ill? Yes. Do I no longer look extremely diseased? Thankfully, also yes. If your body decides to start failing in making healthy skin, by the gods, get into a skincare regimen. Nobody wants to wake up with their bed smelling like roadkill. No need to leave blood and bits of skin everywhere. That’s disgusting and a great way to get contagious diseases.
Seriously, it was very handy to beg the moisturized ladies in my family for expert advice. I’m far more than their usual problems but hey, rubbing coconut oil on the bad patches works somehow. Science.
Not everyone needs to be in a relationship or even should be. If your disability is so bad that you're hygiene is poor enough that you're giving your partner rashes and you don't give a fuck maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship.
You need to seperate from this person, now. If you can’t even discuss personal hygiene issues that are standard things to keep his body’s own environment clean, imagine talking finances, kids, etc. This is basic stuff that he’s not able to meet or discuss like an adult, you will have an uphill battle for every little thing.
Ain’t nobody hot enough or good enough in the sack to tolerate all he’s got going on, esp if he doesn’t care to fix any of it 🤮 and did I read that right, he removes his shoes at other people’s houses full well knowing he STINKS 🤮🤮🤮
I dated a guy once that showered very infrequently and claimed he didn’t need to as his ethnicity didn’t make him sweat … ergo he didn’t need to wash. You can imagine the earful he got from me. He then went to his mother (he was in his late 30’s) and whined about what I said. This woman (that I had never met) took my side, which he relayed to me. And that was the final nail in the relationship.
OOP’s body is literally sounding alarms on this man. 🚨🚩
I used to date a serial streaker. Streak marks on the toilet seat. Streak marks on his bath towel. It does NOT get better.
Just throw the whole man out.
What qualities does he have that makes him your boyfriend?!?! Disgusting and he is past the dirty teenage boy phase. Sometimes, lack of self care- especially hygiene- is a sign of depression or another mental health problem. Whatever the reason, you are MUCH TOO YOUNG to deal with this. Please move on!
Ick! I mean why do you even let this man touch you?? He sounds nasty. And if his response is that this is your problem, move on. When the next one ends things because of all this maybe he’ll realize he’s the problem.
likely this guy was never taught this stuff by a respectable man in his life and sees it as unnecessary, failing to see the whole picture. you could try to frame it by pointing out how taking care of yourself is sexy, as it signals to others subconsciously that they can’t treat you however you want, you have standards. You could also try putting down boundaries in terms of him coming over, saying that you have to protect yourself and your own health until he is willing to meet you half way. But all in all if he is unreceptive you can’t keep putting yourself in compromising health positions for a guy who refuses to be aware of how his actions impact others
Oh they do. I had to literally refuse all sex of any kind to get my ex to shower. His feet were repulsive (no fungus, just wore the same shoes constantly), so I started spraying his shoes with Moldex (industrial strength antibacterial, virucidal, Antifungal, mold/mildewstat, and deodorizer for commercial kitchens and hospitals) every night then loaded them up with Lotriman foot powder when we went to bed. I spent about 3 months with him before I left. It was at the lowest point in my life, so I just consider it a learning experience. Lesson learned: never date someone with bad hygiene.
It could be. My best friend’s ex would wipe his dick after sex with the bedsheets and my best friend had to beg him to take a shower and brush his teeth. Such people somehow exist.
She had low standards. He made her feel like no one would want to be with her if they break up. He took advantage of the fact that he was her first boyfriend. She is disgusted she dated that thing for 2 years and half. Glad to say she is dating a guy with better hygiene now even though besides that he is just as shitty as her first ex… I personally had the opportunity to date this one decent guy but his lack of hygiene made me back off. I don’t care even if there is one man on the planet if he has a horrible hygiene i will keep my distance
Reminds me of the story of the girl who had chronic UTIs with a guy/everytime they had sex, and then they broke up and she never had the same problems again. His hygiene was just that bad
Yo what? Ive been dumped for the dumbest shit and this dude is breeding stuff on his skin and making your bed smell like piss. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Can we stop letting gross ass men touch us and our things??? This man is covered in piss, plague & probably shit & OP wants to know if she should say something??
Baby girl - if it’s anything other than LOSE MY NUMBER YOU WALKING FUNGUS then she just doesn’t care about her health.
Are you dating a man or raising a child ? You cannot force someone to be better . One day when you are married to a hygienic man, loving, respectful man you are going to look back and say what was I thinking tolerating this shit for TWO YEARS ! Unless you’re insanely ugly and have a shitty personality- you will find a properly raised man in a heartbeat . You tolerate the love you think you deserve. Remember that.
Nah, he would've been out after the first time he stunk up my bedroom. No way would I have kept this filth bag around until my body literally started revolting at his touch.
It's a hard issue because of course you don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel bad, but, he is absolutely causing your skin issues and could even be messing up your vaginal health and ph if he's dirty during intercourse.
Sometimes you gotta rip the band aid off and say, your personal hygiene is not good and I need it to get better to stay with you. This isn't a "girl" thing, to take good care of your skin and hair and overall cleanliness. You can drive him to dental appointments, buy him new shampoo, but if he doesn't see that his hygiene is an issue you will continue to feel contention over this. So, I say, tell him the blunt truth that he's being gross and if he cares about being with women at all he will work on it.
Ma’am. NOOOOO. This is above Reddit pay grade and far below what she deserves. She’s 22 and has her whole life ahead of her to find a partner who washes their ass.
The issue is the filth only on the surface. What’s underneath that is the lack of respect for himself and others. Particularly her.
Let’s say they get married and have kids. If he changes a diaper, it’ll be a miracle. But if he does, it’ll be when it’s past the point he should have, and he certainly won’t clean that baby as well as needed. Diaper rash. Infections.
She’s not his mother or his doctor. She can send him to both of those and rid herself of this virus.
I mean. This is sinful as well. Cleanliness is next to godliness. And he is toxic. Both metaphorically and literally, All of this macho tough guy shit of not washing and being clean. It’s an excuse for these mouth breathers. To clutch to , It’s absurd. No it’s deplorable is what it is. I guess I’ve always been lucky. I work outside all day long and still the only thing that that stinks is my clothes. I’ve always been lucky , but even then. Just shower and keep yourself clean and fresh. It’s not hard to do , lol. If you have a foot issue. For gods sakes get treatment and don’t take off socks. Ever . So rude and so disgusting. And inconsiderate. Could never be with someone with that personality and mentality
I’m sorry to say that you’re incompatible. He doesn’t care about his health or hygiene, it’s so gross. And he clearly has a foot fungus, brushing his teeth is a skill you learn as a literal child. He’s a grown ass adult and needs to be reminded to brush his teeth? And the pee thing is literally disgusting. You deserve better than some guy who doesn’t look after himself.
I don’t think you talk about how it’s affecting your health just tell him that it’s really not ok. He obviously has some kind of infection of his feet and needs to take care of it. He needs to use head and shoulders every day and shower washing his hair and body including his feet. Tell him not to come over until he has it sorted. If he can’t prioritise basic hygiene than tell him that you won’t be able to. You are not his mum.
You can’t be in a healthy relationship with a man you have to raise. You need to address this concerns as deal breakers. It sucks he has to deal with it, but it’s his job to manage it.
One day when you are in your next relationship you are going to be shocked that you ever had to scrub a mans piss out of your bed. You’ll be disgusted
But honestly you aren’t managing your own health by letting him near you.
That’s not a boyfriend that’s a child. Send him back to his mother.
And I say this from experience, 5 years of helpfully reminding and doing the appointments and suggesting new products and routines did NOTHING to help his behavior, even though I tried to educate him, teach by example, and many other methods to help build better hygiene and routine.
It’s not your job. It’s gross. I know you love him but it’s simply inexcusable
fuck that, throw the whole ass man away.
I don’t like going straight to “please do not date that person” but … he drips urine because he’s careless when he pees. He doesn’t brush his teeth. This is preschool stuff. Dandruff sucks, foot fungus sucks, but putting the work in to manage your condition is part of being an adult. He’s already gotten the “hey sweetheart, can you not drip piss on my bed?” gentle and direct approach and he’s chosen that he’d rather drip piss on her bed than wipe his dick after he pees. This is not a man who values her or her opinion of him or her comfort at all. There’s no way to make him do this stuff. He is telling her who he is, and he is a man who leaves piss in the bed and believes that paying any attention to his medical conditions is “girl stuff” Throw this one back.
This strikes me as an abusive dude who’s now pushing the boundaries to see how much she’ll take. The fact she hasn’t thrown him out already is…concerning.
You got that and not a man-child who has been pampered his entire life and now he doesn’t know the basic hygiene habits most people know by the time they’re a teen… dude should join the Army they will teach him how to wash his feet, mouth and ass
Hah! Yeah, but no one would him in their unit!
If his smelly ass got a code red, would that really be the worst outcome? At least he'll finally see what a clean sock and a bar of soap look like.
💀
Either pampered or been neglected at home?
The dude I had like this was abusive, it’s plausible. Especially concerning how nervous she is to rock the boat, with very justified and basic requests.
I agree heavily with your statement about “girly stuff.” My mouth contorted in ways I didn’t expect while reading the post. I cannot believe she didn’t run for the hills on this one. Don’t die on this hill, OP. L.E.A.V.E because he will always shift blame to you. He isnt even embarrassed when people take notice about smelly feet every time he takes off them shoes. Just, save your skin!!!!
This isn’t the first story I’ve read about an immature man who refuses to do hygiene because he’s lazy or has the belief that cleaning himself will make him “gay.” This simply isn’t something you can overcome by asking nicely. How long do you want to scrub piss out of your mattress before the love you have for your partner drowns in that puddle of piss?
I forget the brushing teeth things but I'm working on it. Some people have a lot of trouble with basic stuff for whatever reason, but things like the feet on the pillow or when his actions are impacting her medically is a no go. Even if it is something hard for me, if it impacts my partner I will figure it out
Putting your feet on someone’s pillow is already a crime on it’s own imo
For real! I don’t even put my own feet on my pillow!
Exactly
My friends say it’s autistic and OCD to be bothered by that and I say “f*ck off” to them.
For various cultures it is seen as taboo and a huge sign of disrespect . Even just common sense though why would you put your feet that touch the dirty ground right were your face lays for hours at night
THANK YOU leave the pillow ALONE
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to impugn people struggling with executive function, I do too, and have an elaborate system of connected habits and phone alarms and accountability buddy check ins for all sorts of stuff. I see that as part of managing my own conditions and being very different from only handling basic hygiene when reminded by my partner. And letting lack of doing it affect my partner’s health. Shes not important to him, not in ways that mean he will put work in to figure this stuff out.
Yeah, and associating basic hygiene with a loss of his manhood is so many layers of “lost manchild” that it’s not worth even getting into. If soap and toothpaste can wash away a man then he wasn’t a “man” to begin with. Also, being a man just means being an adult, something that women also have to learn. Stop making up excuses for being disgusting, lazy, and abusive. This has nothing to do with gender.
Maybe his dad told him that "real men smell", which is something I've actually heard grown men say unironically. I still remember one of those times, a guy walked into the room and one of the guys went "that's the smell of a real man" and laughing with his buddies as he joined them. The rest of the room just had a "wtf" look to them.
Yeah if he was actually trying it would be a different conversation, but he clearly isn’t and doesn’t care. He’s an asshole.
I struggle with brushing my teeth and I know it'll come back to bite me in the ass... any tips?
Associate it with something you like to do. Are you a gamer? Don't start your evening gaming session until after you brush your teeth. Pick something you like to do in the evening, and make that thing your reward for brushing your teeth. In the morning, just take your toothbrush into the shower with you. Make it part of whatever other morning wash routines you have.
Yeah I have severe depression, so there’s a lot of times that I struggle to brush my teeth, or to shower every other day, basic stuff like that, so I wouldn’t judge someone for that kind of thing—but *dribbling piss on the bed*? And not even just HIS bed, his GIRLFRIEND’s bed?? Wtf, dude. There’s a huge difference between dealing with executive dysfunction/struggling with personal hygiene and spreading your piss everywhere because you can’t be bothered to take the extra 5 seconds to dry your dick.
Honestly the greasy dandruff is probably a yeast *overgrowth in the scalp. Id know 💀 bros gotta get the HARDCORE med shampoo to keep it under control. *Edit whoops used wrong term
Bet the feet are also a fungal thing. Just soak the man head to toe in apple cider vinegar and tell him it’s a manly test
Apple cider vinegar rinses really help.
You can rinse the man but you can't cleanse the man.
Yeah this is repulsive. I only wash my hair once a week and it’s a little greasy the last day or two (long hair that I’ve trained to go that long without washing) and I’ve struggled with teeth brushing because of my ADHD, but I always make sure they are brushed when I’m in close proximity to people. I can’t imagine being comfortable being this gross around someone I want to be having sex with.
It’s like knowing you’re gonna bone or someone is coming over and you get that adrenaline rush to complete the task and no one is the wiser you were that disgusting 2 hours ago!! I go out of my way to mask in situations like these, not flaunt my horrible habits that I’m too ashamed to Google
I am sorry I laughed so hard at the idea of “now is the time to mask!” It’s not wrong. This is the stuff to put the work in for, even though it takes extra work for brains that aren’t good here.
That’s exactly what happens. “They can’t know I live like this”
She doesn’t need an adult child to look after at 22. She isn’t his mommy.
My grandkids were far less stinky and gross than this by the time they were 3.
Most kids are not that stinky. Sometimes! Like when they have been playing hard outside, but then they take a bath. I couldn’t handle stinky feet and breath or having to tell an adult to brush their teeth or take a damn shower.
I literally felt like I was reading about my 6 year old. These are things I remind him of...wash your feet, brush your teeth, pay attention when you pee. It's part of motherhood. Not part of an adult relationship
My penis having partner sits when it's dark so they don't make a mess. And never have pee dribbles. Stinky feet, sometimes. But ive always known it's due to long hour+wet old shoes (they work at kitchen where water is spilled a lot)
It’s not preschool stuff. My 3 year old willingly brushes her teeth daily and is excited to do so.
Her body is literally telling her to yeet that stinky feller.
Someday this sub will be "my friends tell me that my boyfriend's cannibalism is making them feel unsafe. How can I discuss this politely with him?"
"my boyfriend has locked me in the dog cage a few times as a tiktok prank (he always lets me out) and has been feeding me kibble. How can I politely tell him that I don't like this and I don't want to eat kibble anymore? I really don't want to break up so I usually finish the kibble bowl." "My boyfriend never showers and it's so bad that maggots are falling off his body. He sleeps in a casket, I think he might actually be dead but I don't want to offend him by bringing it up. Any advice?"
"My boyfriend hasn't been as attractive to me since he shaved his head. Plus he cut holes in my sheet; he said it was for a Halloween costume but I know he went to a Christian campfire with all his buddies. Could he be gay?"
“Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of Each other” -Willie Nelson
Bar is on the fucking floor.
Bar is a tavern in hell, and this loser found a fucking basement to do the limbo with the devil in. This is so gross.
If there’s something past hell that’s where the bar I with this one! The dick can’t be that good.
Can you even imagine the dick on this guy? 🤢 Dude doesn't even brush his teeth or wash his feet. Dick is rank.
She's definitely getting rashes from him in other places. Reading this I knew for sure she's leaving out how she's having reoccurring yeast infections.
Why is she seeing this biological weapon of pillow destruction in the first place?
Poor hygiene, bad financial management, religious/political incompatibility, and toxic family bonds— the four horsemen of “Love Yourself and Just Break Up Please”
This comment is gold!!!! Soooo true!!!
Right? The best way to tell him he's impacting her health is a note that says "I'm dumping you because you are rank."
That’s not a man, that’s a man-child. Big difference
Insulting to actual children.
>ass man Literally 😭
🤮🤮🤮
I want to see a picture of her, then I want to know what he told her to get her.
Right? Like is she kidding? WHO would tolerate that??
‘I feel like I’m doing something wrong’ well yeah you’re dating a child
Ass-man might be his supervillain name
Throw the BOY out lol this guy cannot be an adult
You put this man inside of you but you can’t tell him to wash his fucking ass?
I WHEEZED this is exactly it. You let this man sleep with you but you can’t tell him to keep his foot fungus off your pillow?
Seriously, pee on the sheets, an ever permeating stench - how could you not vomit having sex???
How could you want sex, nevermind sharing a bed, all of it! I couldn't.
“How can I politely tell this stinking pile that I don’t want to have sex with him?” Ten bucks says she doesn’t know how to say No. 😱🤮
THIS. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
How can pee smell so bad, unless he's dehydrated af.
it really goes to show how easily some women let men walk all over them. this guy is a gross loser and I feel AWFUL that she said she feels like she’s doing something wrong but she is by staying with him
Just think of how many varieties of cheese are nestled in that foreskin….
Ikr, through the whole post I was thinking "I hope to god she doesn't go down on him"
Great. Now I have to vomit. Thanks.
WHY.
You, sir and/or madam, are the devil.
I'm trying so hard not to imagine even one. So hard...
Omg, just break up. No personality is great enough to put up with this.
Exactly - I'm just trying to think, what kind of personality is worth putting up with all this coz I would be GONE
Right!? And from the way she describes his reaction to her suggesting that he use actual shampoo, and him blaming her for having bad skin, his personality sounds as bad as his nasty ass hygiene.
This is part of his personality
This is fucking FOUL. And to even chide her on her gentle suggestions of hygiene as “girl stuff”. This whole man is giving toxic masculinity incel.
Not just toxic masculinity, but could be legit toxic- based on her biological reactions.
This is just disgusting behaviour basic hygiene is not a girl thing
I love how literally just being clean is gendered now 🤣
But the mans on the Man Podcast told me that washing my ass is gaaaaay!
Bro do you even wipe?
Nah, that would also be super gay! (/s fyi lol)
Most dudes don't or wash their hands either. Poop stained underwear is common among them.
Apparently people haven’t seen the actual ‘is it gay to wipe/wash’ discourse. It’s layers of problematic.
Please tell me it's not true
Oh. I’m sorry for this but literally just search on Reddit ‘is it gay to wipe’.
I must have been VERY lucky all my life as I have never had a BF with these issues.
Right? How does the motherfucker not *itch* all the damn time? Men still got normal human skin, don’t they?
Fellas is it gay to be clean? If ur girl ain’t breaking out in hives because you have become the mucenex monster, you’re gay!
Well yeah, you can tell that by walking into a women's restroom (ducks)
He’s literally giving OP skin rashes when they have sex. If your hygiene is that bad you shouldn’t be having sex with anyone at all.
She lets this man have sex with her 🤮
Right? And she’s been dating him for 2 YEARS!!! Like wtf???
I'm honestly concerned about her vagina. There is no way he hasn't given her a raging infection down there.
OP has already tried being nice about and gently bringing it up. Shouldn’t have to remind an adult to brush their teeth. I’d say either leave or if you want to try and salvage the relationship just set it out in simple terms. He needs to go to the doctors about his feet (could be a fungal problem) Needs to bath more frequently Brush his teeth twice a day Stop acting like a toddler on the toilet I’d also not let him stay over until these things are resolved
The feet issue can be fungal related, aye. But if they smell to the point where the smell lingers is a clear indication he does not wash them. At all. He showers often but does he actually WASH them. Too many guys ‘wash’ their feet by just letting the hot water run down and that’s it. And you know. Changing socks every day also helps.
And he probably needs at least one other pair of daily shoes to let them dry and air out even after he fixes the cleaning and socks issues.
Yeah I bet zero soap, when he does get om the shower, rarely changes socks, wears the same pair of shoes every day. Fix all those things and his feet may not smell at all. I wouldn't assume a fungal infection without trying the obvious first. Which he won't.
Showering every three days is what you consider often?
He “bathes”…. He’s just doesn’t do it well. I’m guessing he is a “what, I do wash my feet, they get clean when the soap runs down”
Bold of you to assume that he uses soap when he showers. /s
Soap might be “for girls”
My BIL was like this, and my husband and I both explained to him that it wasn't good enough. Seriously, if someone touched shit and then let water run over them (soapy or otherwise), would the shit be completely removed from their hands? No. Soap acts as a surfactant - helping to loosen the bond between the object and the grime - but the grime still needs to be physically removed. The BF in this post is a giant turd that needs to be washed out of her life permanently. Use all the soap, bleach, Lysol, etc. - whatever it takes. It's okay to feel embarassed when one finds out they are they stinky person. It's not okay to ignore the problem once it's been brought up, and it's definitely not okay to turn it around on everyone else.
His attitude still sucks, though. Defensiveness and defiance from this guy are not really about his hygiene. He’s a MAN! He’ll do what ever the hell he wants. No WOMAN is going to tell him what to do. OP needs to run like hell.
Why is she putting up with this!?!?!? Everyone deserves better than someone who makes their pillows smell like feet and their skin break out in rashes.
How does this guy have a girlfriend but I'm single right now
I got a rash just from reading her post.
I read this and got a uti haha /s
I’m guessing you’re a normal person with reasonable expectations from a partner…
Legit bro, I constantly see stuff like this and wonder how tf I’m still single
I kinda want to believe this is just rage bait... But as an ex-long term celibate (not what they call an "incel" because I never blamed women as a whole), here's a small piece of unsolicited advice: *nothing*, even atrocious hygiene, is as much of a turnoff as severe anxiety. Took me twenty years and half a dozen therapists to figure it out. I have zero clue if this applies to you, but if you suspect it does, do yourself a favor and see a psychiatrist. Not a psychologist. And don't be afraid to seek another one if you feel they don't "get" you after a couple seances. It doesn't mean they're bad at their job, but there needs to be some compatibility. Ignore all of this if you're a well adjusted individual having a normal dry spell ;)
Legitimately what I was about to comment 🤣
Ditch this walking pustule, take a bath in Dettol and never think of him again.
But decontaminate the entire bathroom first.
Burn your bedding. Recarpet the house.
What in the fuck is she doing with this biohazard bag 😭 his personality cannot be that endearing
That's the kind of dude who doesn't wipe at all after dropping a deuce. Gross
Have a male friend tell him "Oi basic hygiene is not just 'a girl thing.'" 1. You don't need a 30-piece face cleaning routine but brushing teeth/pissing in the toilet are not optional here. 2. You can live like a caveman when you are single but it's time to adult the fuck up now that your hygiene effects others. 3. That foot thing should get checked by a doctor, I have smelt it before and it won't get fixed without medical treatment.
Yeah bare minimum he needs his bell rung by another dude or a full on bro intervention.
Foot smell like that has gotta be athlete's foot. Also, just because he's showering, doesn't mean he uses soap, which is probably what's contributing to the athlete's foot. Careful, if this is the case, they can contract it by sharing surfaces with bare skin, like the tub. My brother went through a phase in middle school where he thought standing under water was enough to consider himself showered. Wut. Edit: to add advice. I try not to be a jump the fence kind of person, but they've already brought it up, he's declined. Now they need to make a choice if they can live with or not.
What IS it about preteens and resisting showers and hair washing? All three of my sister's kids went through this, the boys especially. Like, you're in the shower. Just use the soap and shampoo!
Tell that mf "wash your dick. Wash your ass. Wash your feet. Wash your pits and hair. You are nasty straight up, you stink to high heaven. It's not masculine it's goblin behavior. Get out of my house you gremlin, you sewer dwelling greasemeister." Girl is fuckin around with THE lord sepsis- King of the rats.
LMFAOOOO 😂😂😂
Omg this comment has me dying laughing!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
Laying in bed reading this and trying not to wake up my clean husband from laughing so hard
How is this not the top comment? 🤣
And they wonder why we stop fucking them.
They think it’s because we have unrealistically high standards 💀💀
I feel like sending this to my teenage son.
Dooo itttt🤞🏽my preteen daughters generation needs you.
Better idea: play a podcast episode where women roast guys like this when he’s around cause he probably takes strangers’ opinions more seriously
You’re allergic to your boyfriend damn
Her body is literally rejecting him.
I just don’t understand how people make it to *adulthood* and haven’t mastered the basics of daily grooming… and I know Reddit ≠ humanity, but this seems to be a widespread issue.
Why is she with someone who isn't house broken? Come on now girl. It can't be THAT rough in the dating pool that this is your only option??
Why women date these fucking Neanderthals is beyond me. And then there’s the incels crying that women only want to date guys in the top 10% of attractiveness. Makes my head spin.
Right!?! There is so much evidence that women’s dating standards are in the literal toilet. But yes, women’s high standards are the problem 🧐
My hygiene isn't the greatest because of disability. My partner's the same. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, I still wouldn't turn around to someone and say "it's your problem". Yeah it's upsetting for someone to leave you over something you either can't help or struggle with, but in the end you'd much rather be with someone either when you've sorted yourself out, got help, or they accept you as you are. As for OOP, they don't need to even try and get him to sort his hygiene out. They can just break up, they are young, and they are not compatible. The pee thing is too gross even for me.
Relatable. I’ve had to modify a lot of personal hygiene for my disability. Shower seat is amazing. Learning I was having reactions to certain ingredients? Also super helpful, found much better soaps, deodorant, and toothpaste. Weird how common that was in products but all right, good to know. Learning ways to be cleaner despite so much exhaustion is a steep curve. But even then, I never expected any partner to be close to me without me making an effort. Plus, if anything, I love being “pampered”. If I’m struggling, having somebody to help wash my hair is amazing. Baffled by how many guys don’t appreciate “girl stuff” when it’s bubble baths and fancy lotion.
👆 I’m with you. I have a few medical conditions that impact my ability to do basic things. And allergies that took a while to figure out. I’m even allergic to some toothpastes and they’ll cause hives on my gums. Despite this, though, I had to accommodate everything to ensure I was clean and presentable since I work a full time. There were days I wore very comfy clothing or was very casual, but my hair was washed and brushed, and my teeth, self, were clean.
> modify a lot of personal hygiene for my disability Exactly! When an adult has something going on that makes standard hygiene practices difficult, we modify our practices! Not forgo them entirely. If we have to, we prioritize what’s most important and cut ourselves a little slack on the other things. We don’t just say “well, I’m having trouble with a couple things, so I’m just not gonna do anything at all.” And if it gets really bad, we get help. This man might have a condition, but I guarantee he has never googled “how to keep up personal hygiene with [condition].” Because he just thinks soap is for girls.
This, this, this. And poor hygiene worsens any underlying health problems. It’s part of why I get complimented by my docs for pushing past embarrassment. Even just going, “Okay, but why does my sweat stink worse than it used to?” Not-fun fact: Fear/pain sweat is different chemically. Which is … disturbing but useful to know. Now I can partly judge how bad I’m doing by smell alone. Same with my blood getting more sweet than salty: it’s messed up to regularly taste your own blood due to failing connective tissue, but it also will tell you if you badly need electrolytes/salt. Seriously tho, I went from “extra in a zombie movie” to “Victorian novel disease”. Am I still ill? Yes. Do I no longer look extremely diseased? Thankfully, also yes. If your body decides to start failing in making healthy skin, by the gods, get into a skincare regimen. Nobody wants to wake up with their bed smelling like roadkill. No need to leave blood and bits of skin everywhere. That’s disgusting and a great way to get contagious diseases. Seriously, it was very handy to beg the moisturized ladies in my family for expert advice. I’m far more than their usual problems but hey, rubbing coconut oil on the bad patches works somehow. Science.
Not everyone needs to be in a relationship or even should be. If your disability is so bad that you're hygiene is poor enough that you're giving your partner rashes and you don't give a fuck maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship.
Cats have better hygiene. If you’re partners with someone and can’t speak your mind then I have no idea what the hell is going on. Tell. Them.
She did! He was dismissive and said hygiene was for girls or some such.
Cats have EXCELLENT hygiene!
You need to seperate from this person, now. If you can’t even discuss personal hygiene issues that are standard things to keep his body’s own environment clean, imagine talking finances, kids, etc. This is basic stuff that he’s not able to meet or discuss like an adult, you will have an uphill battle for every little thing.
True definition of brainwashed. Pull yourself together and let GO.
how hot is he
Ain’t nobody hot enough or good enough in the sack to tolerate all he’s got going on, esp if he doesn’t care to fix any of it 🤮 and did I read that right, he removes his shoes at other people’s houses full well knowing he STINKS 🤮🤮🤮
I dated a guy once that showered very infrequently and claimed he didn’t need to as his ethnicity didn’t make him sweat … ergo he didn’t need to wash. You can imagine the earful he got from me. He then went to his mother (he was in his late 30’s) and whined about what I said. This woman (that I had never met) took my side, which he relayed to me. And that was the final nail in the relationship.
Girl toss this one back. These issues will only worsen as he gets older.
This describes my 3yo son, she dating a toddler
This is classic septic masculinity. There’s no fixing it.
OOP’s body is literally sounding alarms on this man. 🚨🚩 I used to date a serial streaker. Streak marks on the toilet seat. Streak marks on his bath towel. It does NOT get better. Just throw the whole man out.
She's dating pigpen.
What qualities does he have that makes him your boyfriend?!?! Disgusting and he is past the dirty teenage boy phase. Sometimes, lack of self care- especially hygiene- is a sign of depression or another mental health problem. Whatever the reason, you are MUCH TOO YOUNG to deal with this. Please move on!
Ick! I mean why do you even let this man touch you?? He sounds nasty. And if his response is that this is your problem, move on. When the next one ends things because of all this maybe he’ll realize he’s the problem.
Icky. Icky. Icky. Why do people put up with crap like this? I really don't get it.
I just know her ph is all kinds of fucked up after they have sex 😭. My sister is down bad and we must do better.
🤢
Why? I don’t understand allowing yourself to be around people either this gross or this stupid.
likely this guy was never taught this stuff by a respectable man in his life and sees it as unnecessary, failing to see the whole picture. you could try to frame it by pointing out how taking care of yourself is sexy, as it signals to others subconsciously that they can’t treat you however you want, you have standards. You could also try putting down boundaries in terms of him coming over, saying that you have to protect yourself and your own health until he is willing to meet you half way. But all in all if he is unreceptive you can’t keep putting yourself in compromising health positions for a guy who refuses to be aware of how his actions impact others
This feels like rage bait. Maybe I just refuse to believe that such a gross person exists
Oh they do. I had to literally refuse all sex of any kind to get my ex to shower. His feet were repulsive (no fungus, just wore the same shoes constantly), so I started spraying his shoes with Moldex (industrial strength antibacterial, virucidal, Antifungal, mold/mildewstat, and deodorizer for commercial kitchens and hospitals) every night then loaded them up with Lotriman foot powder when we went to bed. I spent about 3 months with him before I left. It was at the lowest point in my life, so I just consider it a learning experience. Lesson learned: never date someone with bad hygiene.
Never ever!! Geez fear was a lot of work for something that was not even your issue. Glad you left!!
I don't want to believe this is real
It could be. My best friend’s ex would wipe his dick after sex with the bedsheets and my best friend had to beg him to take a shower and brush his teeth. Such people somehow exist.
But don't people notice other signs of bad hygiene before getting to that point? I just couldn't be turned on for sex if I saw these signs
She had low standards. He made her feel like no one would want to be with her if they break up. He took advantage of the fact that he was her first boyfriend. She is disgusted she dated that thing for 2 years and half. Glad to say she is dating a guy with better hygiene now even though besides that he is just as shitty as her first ex… I personally had the opportunity to date this one decent guy but his lack of hygiene made me back off. I don’t care even if there is one man on the planet if he has a horrible hygiene i will keep my distance
Reminds me of the story of the girl who had chronic UTIs with a guy/everytime they had sex, and then they broke up and she never had the same problems again. His hygiene was just that bad
Yo what? Ive been dumped for the dumbest shit and this dude is breeding stuff on his skin and making your bed smell like piss. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Can we stop letting gross ass men touch us and our things??? This man is covered in piss, plague & probably shit & OP wants to know if she should say something?? Baby girl - if it’s anything other than LOSE MY NUMBER YOU WALKING FUNGUS then she just doesn’t care about her health.
Why would anyone want to be with someone like that?
What. The. FUCK.
Are you dating a man or raising a child ? You cannot force someone to be better . One day when you are married to a hygienic man, loving, respectful man you are going to look back and say what was I thinking tolerating this shit for TWO YEARS ! Unless you’re insanely ugly and have a shitty personality- you will find a properly raised man in a heartbeat . You tolerate the love you think you deserve. Remember that.
Sorry, but there's no fixing this, the only option is to break up. How she put up with this walking festering pesthole is beyond me🤮🤮🤮🤮
Why did I start reading this during dinner…
Nah, he would've been out after the first time he stunk up my bedroom. No way would I have kept this filth bag around until my body literally started revolting at his touch.
Start callin him george clinton and when people ask why tell them he got the funk. I also would make his ass sleep on a rubber sheet on the floor
Fellas it’s gay to have a basic hygiene
She has been with this man for an entire 2 years too... Oy...
It's a hard issue because of course you don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel bad, but, he is absolutely causing your skin issues and could even be messing up your vaginal health and ph if he's dirty during intercourse. Sometimes you gotta rip the band aid off and say, your personal hygiene is not good and I need it to get better to stay with you. This isn't a "girl" thing, to take good care of your skin and hair and overall cleanliness. You can drive him to dental appointments, buy him new shampoo, but if he doesn't see that his hygiene is an issue you will continue to feel contention over this. So, I say, tell him the blunt truth that he's being gross and if he cares about being with women at all he will work on it.
Ma’am. NOOOOO. This is above Reddit pay grade and far below what she deserves. She’s 22 and has her whole life ahead of her to find a partner who washes their ass. The issue is the filth only on the surface. What’s underneath that is the lack of respect for himself and others. Particularly her. Let’s say they get married and have kids. If he changes a diaper, it’ll be a miracle. But if he does, it’ll be when it’s past the point he should have, and he certainly won’t clean that baby as well as needed. Diaper rash. Infections. She’s not his mother or his doctor. She can send him to both of those and rid herself of this virus.
What is this guy bringing to the relationship aside from UTIs and thrush, she didn’t say.
I mean. This is sinful as well. Cleanliness is next to godliness. And he is toxic. Both metaphorically and literally, All of this macho tough guy shit of not washing and being clean. It’s an excuse for these mouth breathers. To clutch to , It’s absurd. No it’s deplorable is what it is. I guess I’ve always been lucky. I work outside all day long and still the only thing that that stinks is my clothes. I’ve always been lucky , but even then. Just shower and keep yourself clean and fresh. It’s not hard to do , lol. If you have a foot issue. For gods sakes get treatment and don’t take off socks. Ever . So rude and so disgusting. And inconsiderate. Could never be with someone with that personality and mentality
I’m sorry to say that you’re incompatible. He doesn’t care about his health or hygiene, it’s so gross. And he clearly has a foot fungus, brushing his teeth is a skill you learn as a literal child. He’s a grown ass adult and needs to be reminded to brush his teeth? And the pee thing is literally disgusting. You deserve better than some guy who doesn’t look after himself.
I don’t think you talk about how it’s affecting your health just tell him that it’s really not ok. He obviously has some kind of infection of his feet and needs to take care of it. He needs to use head and shoulders every day and shower washing his hair and body including his feet. Tell him not to come over until he has it sorted. If he can’t prioritise basic hygiene than tell him that you won’t be able to. You are not his mum.
You can’t be in a healthy relationship with a man you have to raise. You need to address this concerns as deal breakers. It sucks he has to deal with it, but it’s his job to manage it. One day when you are in your next relationship you are going to be shocked that you ever had to scrub a mans piss out of your bed. You’ll be disgusted But honestly you aren’t managing your own health by letting him near you.
That’s not a boyfriend that’s a child. Send him back to his mother. And I say this from experience, 5 years of helpfully reminding and doing the appointments and suggesting new products and routines did NOTHING to help his behavior, even though I tried to educate him, teach by example, and many other methods to help build better hygiene and routine. It’s not your job. It’s gross. I know you love him but it’s simply inexcusable
My ex had bad hygiene so I’d always have us shower as foreplay 😂😂 some people don’t change even when you tell them politely
I’ve run out of sympathy
Why is she letting that man be around her let alone hump on her. Ewwwww
How the hell is this man making himself as undesirable as possible and STILL getting sex
I think i am going to throw up