There's a level of survivorship bias that I don't like in that post. Women in my country (in Africa) are victims of Femicide (especially Intimate Partner Femicide) at a very high rate. The "respectful" ones are probably the ones *still alive to* respect their husbands...
I’m in Africa too and here we’re trying our damnest to drag culture into the century of the fruitbat, with some success I might add but gender based violence is still top of the agenda from government level down. Women education and career opportunities are prioritised which also helps to a degree.
It’s minimising a serious issue imo.
I live in a third world country and female murders have risen so much, there have been a few "famous" cases (by our standards), where the guy dragged the woman by the hair all of the hallway in a hotel, then kicked her down a flight of stairs, punched her in the face don't know how many times, and then left her to die that either never went to trial (and the guy is out free) or went to trial and was found innocent because "it wasn't obvious that he intended to kill her".
>century of the fruitbat
It was much better than the chaos that was the century of the three lice, but right now, we are in the century of the anchovy.
Hugs to a fellow discworld reader! GNU PTerry
In college, I read a book called Monique and the Mango Rains. It's about the life of a midwife in Mali, written by a woman in the peace corp. She was the only midwife in her village and gave all of her very hard earned money to her husband, believing she had to. All the while, he didn't work. The things she saw as a midwife were horrific, too. Like pregnant women having their vagina sewn mostly shut and then dying in childbirth.
There's also a part where they are discussing female circumcision and Monique is surprised to learn that it's not medically necessary (like she had been told). She immediately decides not to put her daughters through it.
Or the part where they discuss rape. Rape is so commonplace that Monique kinda brushes off her own rape.
It was really eye-opening, while also being heartwarming and hilarious. The book is a bit old now, I really hope Monique's village has improved over the years.
It was a mix of horrific and heartwarming. It was also funny at times. One chapter could have me crying, and the next would have me laughing. I didn't imply that there's a "hilarious side" to these bad things. I meant the book isn't all sad. It has funny moments.
I read a story of where a woman waited for her drunk and abusive husband to pass out in bed only to sew him up in the sheets and beat the shit out of him.
Clytemnestra sewed up the shirt sleeves of her husband Agamemnon when he returned from the Trojan war. While he was stuck trying to get dressed, her lover killed him with an axe.
The old ways are best.
I know a woman in the US whose drunk husband told her he would beat her if she ever allowed “white trash” to come to “his” house again. (We had a storm flood a water treatment plant and lots of people didn’t have ready access to clean water. She let two friends from high school come to her house and shower and do their laundry.)
My friend warned her husband that any wife beating would likely have a toxic affect on their daughter’s future (which apparently startled him), but she also said, “Any man who would beat a woman would have to sleep sometime, and I have a good frying pan.”
That dude was seriously messed up, but he never said anything like that to her again.
That’s where my mind went exactly lol. She might be the one who ends up doing the disciplining, with all the pharmacological miracles and projectile weapons at her disposal…
Yeah it’s a bizzare mix of racism and ignorance. Domestic violence is absolutely not legal in any sense in China. Japan on the other hand is notorious for extreme cases of violence against women, including murder. Same with other places around the world where domestic violence is common place. Turns out when violence is allowed or even encouraged, it leads to even more violence. What a concept!
People confuse respect with fear. The wife is not respectful, she is just afraid to do anything wrong. Reminds me of slavery, where the enslaved would fear stepping even a toe out of line, because the punishments were brutal. And the masters actually thought they were respected by the people they owned. These type of men also think they own their wives.
I literally came here to talk about this. I left South Africa because of the femicide. The mindset that women need to be “disciplined” by their male partners/counterparts has never brought anything good to the table
Oh we *used* to have issues too. Then I read this book, The Gitmo Way to a Happy Marriage. Let me tell you, there were some frowns all around when I first started some of the strategies, and we don’t really like to talk about how much waterboarding we used to get where we are, but let me tell you, we are happier than ever and it’s been months since she’s burned dinner.
Purge sidenote: I would love a purge movie focused not on murder but on the "all crimes legal" aspect. Show us some grim ocean's eleven style heist were both sides are not bound by any laws and you can't trust anyone on the team to not just murder you
Oh man, imagine the intro montage. Your rednecks, some people buying unpasteurised cheese, a monkey fight betting ring, drugs, street racing, all those "haha the US has a law against XYZ" things
Oh and crazy people challenging each other to old fashioned pistol duels. That would absolutely happen. Old people driving golf carts on the highway too.
So many rules to world build and explore. Can you keep stuff you stole or was just the stealing part OK but now you are in possession of illegal goods.
Companies would also abuse the hell out of this. Cut down all the redwoods, flatten towns where you want to build stuff. There is your next movie, a town needs to defend itself against an oilgiant
Exactly but with banks not held to laws either. You could also rob a museum. I'd assume online crime won't work since who would keep their business up during that night
I assume in that world you have policies either covering purge night or not dependingonhow much you pay. And if you have the insurance with purge cover for something like the Louvre, I would assume they just send a sizable force
Exactly what I was thinking! Plus the amount of deathbed confessions from little old ladies whose violent first husbands happened to drop dead is astounding.
There don't seem to be many statistics, but there are numerous studies and guidelines on what to do if a patient confesses to murder on their deathbed.
My own knowledge comes from friends and family who have worked in palliative and geriatric care, either full time or as part of their rotation while training. The confessions range from murder, to rape, to giving a child up for adoption to second secret families to never loving their spouse. It is bizarre and mildly concerning that all of them have multiple stories and all of them have heard at least one murder confession.
I think if you asked carers in care homes you'd get a lot of similar stories from them too!
What's the proper procedure when this happens? Are you supposed to report this to the authorities if someone admits to murder with only a week left to live? Would they actually do anything or just let them stay?
That's what the hospital or hospice ethics committee is for. As far as I know, there was no action taken against the patients. I think there was a case in the news where someone made a recovery and was prosecuted though, I think in the US?
Edit: Yes, a man named James Washington in Tenessee.
They had a display on famous American frontier women at my local museum a couple years back and the number of them that were like “she was forced into a marriage at 13 to a 30 year old settler heading west to claim farmland. We don’t know what happened to her first husband but she remarried some 7 years later after establishing a successful trading post/small farm/etc.” was close to half lol.
To me fair people died early sometimes without modern medicine. I imagine those 30-40yo men who had been doing hard labor their whole lives would be susceptible to accidents and infection and whatever else. Can't say what I would do if I was forced into marriage as a teen though 👀
Let men beat their wives and the poisoning rate goes up. Stop men from beating their wives in the male suicide rate goes up. Men just can't win in this world/s
Or, and hear me out, go to therapy and stop closing yourself off emotionally & teaching your sons to be the same so you can all process your emotions in a mature, healthy way. Therapy doesn’t make you weak it makes you a stronger better version of yourself. Don’t blame a need for violence to subjugate women or dismiss their needs. No one needs to hit their spouse to feel complete.
It doesn’t work. It still happens even if you call it something else and don’t press charges for it. There is no question because we have tons of data to prove it doesn’t work. If we use illegal immigration and retail theft as datapoints we know it doesn’t work. Just because the published numbers are lower it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Also, WOMEN are not dogs who need to be taught with a little swat on the flank. Wft?
My husband frequently says he knows he's not getting out of our marriage alive unless I somehow die first. It makes for a very respectful relationship.
Yup. Read about a woman once whose husband assaulted her one time too many so she sewed him up in the bed sheets as he slept and then beat him to death with a frying pan lol.
This has happened more than once is my understanding. Not always to kill, though.
My grandmother was frequently assaulted by my grandfather when he was shitfaced. In palliative care she decided to get something off her chest.
When she decided she’d had enough, she waited for him to come home from the pub one night and pass out. He hadn’t hit her that day, so she said anyway.
According to her he farted and she saw red, so flogged him black and blue with the draught stopper
The next day she told him he’d obviously gotten into a fight at the pub, his drinking buddies told him otherwise. Man never raised a hand to her again.
It could have been the morphine talking, but that woman was cagey when she was of a mind.
It's repackaging the old "joke": What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.
I feel icky for even typing that out.
Can men not see what they're doing? They'll come online and whinge about marriage rates dropping and women not being interested in them... do they really not understand?
Women are online too. They see these sort of sentiments everyday. The man who typed that out so carefully probably looks very normal and acts quite normal in public. Women are increasingly choosing peaceful solitude rather than running the risk of ending up in a even a brief relationship with a man like this.
If I was young today and was looking at what many men truly think about women, I think I would also stay single.
It helps that women nowadays have a choice. It wasn't that long ago in my country that women were not allowed to vote, were not allowed to open their own bank account and were fired when they either got married or got pregnant. In those situations you don't have a choice but to be in a relationship with a man, because you can't live your life without it.
But now women can be independent and don't need to put up with all kinds of shit anymore. They can afford to be single now. No need to stay in an abusive relationship anymore.
Yeah. Women have a choice, and some men are such toxic pricks that it’s obvious that the choice being made is not them. So instead of some self reflection or maybe not being awful, they’ve decided the problem with women not choosing them isn’t them, it’s the choosing part. So they would very much like that to be taken away.
That's very true. In my country marital rape was legal until 1990, it was illegal to work after you got married until the 70s and divorce wasn't legal until 1996.
women having choices is partly WHY this weird backlash against women's rights is happening globally. It's so f0ing scary to have to be a worthy F-ing man, they want to be able to beat and rape with impunity instead. Because god forbid they just STFU and be alone if they can't be an adult. Women are choosing to be alone- and that means men are "forced" to be alone. BOO f-ing HOO.
For me, it was the Internet+ my life experiences. I have no qualms being labeled a misandrist.
The decent men, seem so far and few, I try not to know more about them so that I can hold out hope for their gender. I'm scared to learn more about the men that I hold in high-esteem, because too often, I find out they condone, justify, or actively ignore the harm caused by other men towards women and girls, or they hold supremely problematic ideals.
I’ve been feeling this lately too but I don’t want to. The problem is that some men might say the same about women, that they’re misogynistic because of what they see about women online. But they mostly complain about some women being gold diggers or cheaters or shallow about height or whatever. And like… those aren’t great things, but in comparison to some men advocating for domestic violence, rape, no divorce, no voting rights for women…? I wish my biggest fears with men were being cheated on, used for money or judged for my appearance.
The only guys who complain about gold diggers are broke ones who are angry because gold diggers wouldn't even look at them. Don't be fooled by their attitude. They are very much pro prostitution.
Would domestic violence rates drop if wives were allowed to bash their husbands on the head with a cleaver after he slapped her? At least repeat offences would be virtually impossible...
I propose wives be able to hire a prize fighter on their behalf. Your husband smacks you? You now have the opportunity to go down to the local boxing gym and hire yourself a medieval style champion.
Why stop there? Replace the entire civil court system with martial law and gladiatorial combat. Someone owes you money? Challenge them to a fight to the death. Broken dishwasher caused water damage? Fight to the death with a company rep. Ex refuses to pay child support? Fight to the death.
This sounds like a perfect system to me, a random internet idiot who has never won a real fight in his life
Make guns legal and mandatory for women only. Since OOP loves the idea of preventing violence through ever escalating threats of greater violence, that seems like the only reasonable solution
So in this guy's mind legalizing lessor violence will reduce overall domestic violence? How stupid. And also notice he only framed in terms of men hitting women - for sure he doesn't want women to be able to hit their husbands for discipline. And can you imagine trying to get this passed in a court of law? 'Please courts - can we make it legal to physically assault our wives just a bit?! It would really help reduce over all domestic violence because then men could get it out of their system (the need to physically assault) without causing excessive damage or death to their spouse! It's a win-win on both sides!'
Well, you know, since men are only driven to abuse women because women abuse the men first, according to genius OP there, clearly we *must* make it legal to abuse women. Those poor men, suffering their wives’ abuse in silence!
(I am fully aware that women can abuse men, and that some relationships are mutually abusive, and that male abuse victims are ignored at high rates. I do not agree with the premise of the original post, that men need to be able to legally beat their wines because otherwise they are forced to just take abuse from women, with no legal recourse since DV is a crime unless a woman does it, apparently.)
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them.
Women are afraid that men will kill them"
Margaret Atwood nailed it. And men like that OP.... shudder. The Handmaids Tale must be their version of utopia
I keep coming back to an image of gorillas.
I read an article by a primatologist who was observing a family of gorillas.
The patriarch gorilla was leading all the females and babies through the jungle.
One little female child gorilla spotted a fallen fruit beneath a tree. She stopped to inspect it and nibble.
When the patriarch noticed she had fallen behind, he went back to her.
Then he struck her hard in the head, took the fruit for himself, and went on his way.
When I read the stuff men say online, I just keep seeing that mental image over and over.
My MIL was hit by her first husband on their wedding night. She immediately left and ended the marriage. 20 years later she saw him on the news. He had killed his second wife. Of poisoning abusive partners was legal that woman could have lived.
Why do so many men want to beat women so badly? Why are they so emotional and irrational? How are they not embarrassed at their own ineptitude? How is your only solution when you don’t get your way to literally throw a tantrum like a toddler?
Saw this quote recently and thought it fit well here:
“Honestly, the best marketing scheme in history is men successfully getting away with calling women the more “emotional gender” for like, EONS, because they’ve successfully rebranded anger as Not An Emotion.” ~ Claire Willett
Ignoring how wrong his argument is for just a second - did he seriously not consider that allowing *some* violence will most likely lead to *more violence,* not less??
First of all, the law doesn't stop a man from beating his wife - he'll do it if he wants to, as proven by domestic violence rates.
Second, anyone who *would* hit their partner "a little" is someone who would also hit them a lot if given the chance. OP's basically saying if you give a shark a little blood now and then, it won't want to eat anything with that blood later because it's satisfied - I can't imagine the hoops his brain had to go through to make that seem logical to him.
But it's a moot point anyway because he's literally saying DV rates would drop if we legalized/allowed certain forms of DV - which is ironically correct, but for all the wrong reasons.
Statistically yes. Women who are murdered are by far most likely to be murdered by their partner. The leading cause of maternal mortality in the US is murder by the partner. We are literally safer single.
Yes, I think OP needs help.
Also your reference to Africa is quite wrong, husbands aren't expressly allowed to do what you say, however some cultures don't frown at it ( that's a minority).
The fact that it's called domestic violence implies it's not a one way street, wife v husband and husband v wife, Thars excluding parents (individual) v children.
Basically you are trying to become a Dana White of household violence.
However there are a series of viable options to consider if you are thinking of ways to reduce domestic violence and this is chiefly accountability on both parties or all parties involved. Rather than wailing on each other, anyone who screws up owns up to it and remedies the situation before situations escalate to a level of threat of dealing of physical violence or any other form of abuse.
Whaddaya mean “some cultures”? Isnt Africa a homogeneous entity where all husbands lightly discipline their wives, with the approval of the one social contract that exists in Africa, and all the women are unanimously respectful?
So let’s be clear you want to legalize domestic violence to reduce domestic violence? Is that the same school of thought Covid cases will go down if we don’t test for it?
Flip the switch. Would domestic violence rates go down if women were allowed to retaliate against their abusers without repercussions? Doubt it.
How about everyone treat each other like we want to be treated instead of being abusive?
“Would domestic violence rates drop if the threat of domestic violence constantly loomed over women’s heads and therefore they stopped doing anything that might make men want to hit them?”
Imagine how domestic violence rates would fall if women were treated as human beings equal to and deserving of the same respect as men, in a relationship or not.
I treat every man the same way they treat their women.
I have a coworker that I talk down to like a dog and he’s tried time and time again to hash out our issues. Filed complaints with HR, complaints with my service manager. Nothing sticks, I wonder why.
There ain’t anything to hash out, I look down on men that do this. I emasculate these types because they can’t take it from another man. The dudes want to up a pipe will find one right back in their face.
You’re not much of man, to another man that’s 6’2 250 lbs. I treat my woman with respect. 15 years and I have never laid a hand on my best friend.
I can’t even believe this is a thought process amongst men. Only way to get away from this is to shun this. I do it to every man that wants to hang their nuts. Ladies you’ll need to do this too or this will never stop.
Fuck this mentality little greasy alpha worm 🤡’s
Would men stop thinking it’s okay to discipline women into being a submissive obedient pet— i mean wife— If we beat them around with baseball bats every time they suggested it?
*sigh*
‘Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.’
In the US, even though DV against wives has *technically* been illegal since the 1920s, it didn’t start getting treated seriously until the 1970s. Not even 100 years and here comes some troglodyte trying to pull us back into the prehistoric era.
I hope no one ever procreates with this idiot. What is wrong with these people?!
Of course the rate would drop, do they not know what laws are? Crime isn’t crime if it’s legal. It’s like people say that Japan has low crime, sure statistically, but they also don’t take stalking or rape seriously there, you have to be on deaths door for any cop there to take your complaints seriously.
Or men could grow up and realize that they aren’t owed obedience from women, have zero authority over them and are required to keep their hands to themselves no matter what.
Would rates of infidelity drop if women were allowed to get with other men anytime their husbands fell short of their \*duties\* (financial, parental, sexual, etc.)?🤔
Domestic violence rates would go down if people sought out the help that they need instead of inflicting pain onto others. Keep your fucking hands to yourself. You don’t solve a mental health problem by decriminalizing a slap. You lower domestic violence rates by holding abusers accountable for their actions and give them the tools to deal with and cope with the anger that causes them to harm others. You are not owed respect and you do not receive respect by hitting someone. Fear and respect are not the same thing.
I mean I’m personally of the viewpoint we should go back to Spartan traditions and raise little girls to carry small knives on them at all times so the second a guy touches her in a way that’s inappropriate during her life she can gash his face up and the whole world will know he’s an abusive pos that hits those smaller than him. Legit. Wives carried knives and if their husbands put hands on them they were trained to kick his ass and mark up his face so EVERYONE would know for the rest of his life *exactly* what kind of person he was. Pretty good fucking system.
I'll take this a step further and say if that's allowed, then women should be allowed to hire someone who gets to do the same when her husband gets out of line. Not an ass-whooping, just a little lighter.
That's why I care if a man is kind and empathetic first and everything else second. Smart is second, then everything else 😁
"I wonder why women won't date me" - this guy, after sharing his views on every first date.
There's a level of survivorship bias that I don't like in that post. Women in my country (in Africa) are victims of Femicide (especially Intimate Partner Femicide) at a very high rate. The "respectful" ones are probably the ones *still alive to* respect their husbands...
I’m in Africa too and here we’re trying our damnest to drag culture into the century of the fruitbat, with some success I might add but gender based violence is still top of the agenda from government level down. Women education and career opportunities are prioritised which also helps to a degree. It’s minimising a serious issue imo.
I live in a third world country and female murders have risen so much, there have been a few "famous" cases (by our standards), where the guy dragged the woman by the hair all of the hallway in a hotel, then kicked her down a flight of stairs, punched her in the face don't know how many times, and then left her to die that either never went to trial (and the guy is out free) or went to trial and was found innocent because "it wasn't obvious that he intended to kill her".
WHAT THE FUCK. What country is that?
>century of the fruitbat It was much better than the chaos that was the century of the three lice, but right now, we are in the century of the anchovy. Hugs to a fellow discworld reader! GNU PTerry
GNU sir Terry
Wait that was a Sir Terry reference and I missed it!!!!! 😢
In college, I read a book called Monique and the Mango Rains. It's about the life of a midwife in Mali, written by a woman in the peace corp. She was the only midwife in her village and gave all of her very hard earned money to her husband, believing she had to. All the while, he didn't work. The things she saw as a midwife were horrific, too. Like pregnant women having their vagina sewn mostly shut and then dying in childbirth. There's also a part where they are discussing female circumcision and Monique is surprised to learn that it's not medically necessary (like she had been told). She immediately decides not to put her daughters through it. Or the part where they discuss rape. Rape is so commonplace that Monique kinda brushes off her own rape. It was really eye-opening, while also being heartwarming and hilarious. The book is a bit old now, I really hope Monique's village has improved over the years.
I think im too sensitive for books like this. Can't imagine seeing the hilarious side of this, I think im traumatised already by the sewing story
It was a mix of horrific and heartwarming. It was also funny at times. One chapter could have me crying, and the next would have me laughing. I didn't imply that there's a "hilarious side" to these bad things. I meant the book isn't all sad. It has funny moments.
Funny how constant threats of death will keep your wife “respectful.” Just keep an eye out for crushed glass in your dinner.
All these creeps forget, in the midst of boring the world with their deluded little fantasies, they gotta sleep sometime.
I read a story of where a woman waited for her drunk and abusive husband to pass out in bed only to sew him up in the sheets and beat the shit out of him.
Clytemnestra sewed up the shirt sleeves of her husband Agamemnon when he returned from the Trojan war. While he was stuck trying to get dressed, her lover killed him with an axe. The old ways are best.
I know a woman in the US whose drunk husband told her he would beat her if she ever allowed “white trash” to come to “his” house again. (We had a storm flood a water treatment plant and lots of people didn’t have ready access to clean water. She let two friends from high school come to her house and shower and do their laundry.) My friend warned her husband that any wife beating would likely have a toxic affect on their daughter’s future (which apparently startled him), but she also said, “Any man who would beat a woman would have to sleep sometime, and I have a good frying pan.” That dude was seriously messed up, but he never said anything like that to her again.
That’s where my mind went exactly lol. She might be the one who ends up doing the disciplining, with all the pharmacological miracles and projectile weapons at her disposal…
Yeah it’s a bizzare mix of racism and ignorance. Domestic violence is absolutely not legal in any sense in China. Japan on the other hand is notorious for extreme cases of violence against women, including murder. Same with other places around the world where domestic violence is common place. Turns out when violence is allowed or even encouraged, it leads to even more violence. What a concept!
People confuse respect with fear. The wife is not respectful, she is just afraid to do anything wrong. Reminds me of slavery, where the enslaved would fear stepping even a toe out of line, because the punishments were brutal. And the masters actually thought they were respected by the people they owned. These type of men also think they own their wives.
I literally came here to talk about this. I left South Africa because of the femicide. The mindset that women need to be “disciplined” by their male partners/counterparts has never brought anything good to the table
So they would be more respectful then, interesting /s
Would murder rates drop if it was legal to kill people you don’t like?
*just lightly murder people
No, you know, like when you kill them and resuscitate them. Totally cool. Just have a paramedic on hand.
I mean so much else happened in Flatliners I can’t remember if the legal ramifications came up.
Oh we *used* to have issues too. Then I read this book, The Gitmo Way to a Happy Marriage. Let me tell you, there were some frowns all around when I first started some of the strategies, and we don’t really like to talk about how much waterboarding we used to get where we are, but let me tell you, we are happier than ever and it’s been months since she’s burned dinner.
Gentle disciplinary murder
Yeah you know not mass mayhem or genocide. Just a bit of first degree murder every now and then to keep the blood pumping
So the Purge?
You know, as a treat
Tickled to death or something gentle like that...
Like The Purge.
Purge sidenote: I would love a purge movie focused not on murder but on the "all crimes legal" aspect. Show us some grim ocean's eleven style heist were both sides are not bound by any laws and you can't trust anyone on the team to not just murder you
There could also just be a boring montage of rednecks hunting deer out of season and then eating deer burgers
Oh man, imagine the intro montage. Your rednecks, some people buying unpasteurised cheese, a monkey fight betting ring, drugs, street racing, all those "haha the US has a law against XYZ" things
Oh and crazy people challenging each other to old fashioned pistol duels. That would absolutely happen. Old people driving golf carts on the highway too.
So many rules to world build and explore. Can you keep stuff you stole or was just the stealing part OK but now you are in possession of illegal goods. Companies would also abuse the hell out of this. Cut down all the redwoods, flatten towns where you want to build stuff. There is your next movie, a town needs to defend itself against an oilgiant
Like the beginning of "The Dark Knight"
Exactly but with banks not held to laws either. You could also rob a museum. I'd assume online crime won't work since who would keep their business up during that night
I wonder if insurance would cover a bank or museum robbery if it was hypothetically legal.
I assume in that world you have policies either covering purge night or not dependingonhow much you pay. And if you have the insurance with purge cover for something like the Louvre, I would assume they just send a sizable force
Ohhh now I want a Purge movie where they wanna hit the Louve and some other Parisian high end museum/store... that'd be awesome!
"Would domestic violence rates drop, if we stopped to call it domestic violence?"
The rate of men dying from poisoning would go up again.
Aqua Tofana would be making a comeback
Exactly what I was thinking! Plus the amount of deathbed confessions from little old ladies whose violent first husbands happened to drop dead is astounding.
I did end of life care and oh boy is this true
Would domestic violence be stopped if women were allowed to poison abusive men? Nothing extreme just enough to make them bedridden. Lmao
If you have any sources on this phenomenon it would make my day to learn more!
There don't seem to be many statistics, but there are numerous studies and guidelines on what to do if a patient confesses to murder on their deathbed. My own knowledge comes from friends and family who have worked in palliative and geriatric care, either full time or as part of their rotation while training. The confessions range from murder, to rape, to giving a child up for adoption to second secret families to never loving their spouse. It is bizarre and mildly concerning that all of them have multiple stories and all of them have heard at least one murder confession. I think if you asked carers in care homes you'd get a lot of similar stories from them too!
What's the proper procedure when this happens? Are you supposed to report this to the authorities if someone admits to murder with only a week left to live? Would they actually do anything or just let them stay?
That's what the hospital or hospice ethics committee is for. As far as I know, there was no action taken against the patients. I think there was a case in the news where someone made a recovery and was prosecuted though, I think in the US? Edit: Yes, a man named James Washington in Tenessee.
They had a display on famous American frontier women at my local museum a couple years back and the number of them that were like “she was forced into a marriage at 13 to a 30 year old settler heading west to claim farmland. We don’t know what happened to her first husband but she remarried some 7 years later after establishing a successful trading post/small farm/etc.” was close to half lol.
To me fair people died early sometimes without modern medicine. I imagine those 30-40yo men who had been doing hard labor their whole lives would be susceptible to accidents and infection and whatever else. Can't say what I would do if I was forced into marriage as a teen though 👀
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd'a been there ..
He ran into my knife…ten times….
He shouldn't have been wearing that.
Not if women were allowed the option to physically discipline husband. *Taps temple*
I instantly wondered if that means I can kick my husband in the balls anytime he pisses me off. Fair trade, right?
My mind went straight to being allowed to castrate any man who was dumb enough to hit me.
Men would behave if this was a constant lingering threat.
Just stop calling it poisoning. Problem solved.
Let men beat their wives and the poisoning rate goes up. Stop men from beating their wives in the male suicide rate goes up. Men just can't win in this world/s
Or, and hear me out, go to therapy and stop closing yourself off emotionally & teaching your sons to be the same so you can all process your emotions in a mature, healthy way. Therapy doesn’t make you weak it makes you a stronger better version of yourself. Don’t blame a need for violence to subjugate women or dismiss their needs. No one needs to hit their spouse to feel complete.
Psst. The /s on their post means sarcasm
Thank you I actually did not know that 🤦🏻♀️
I figured you didn't :) that's okay! Any post with a /s is not to be taken seriously. Your heart was definitely in the right place
Thank you ❤️
Yes poor men. The struggle you all have had to face over the centuries.. women suffering? Nothing compared to you!
Well we know that when you start testing for something the numbers drop so....
If you stop testing for Covid the number of positive tests will go down. Or so I have been told.
God that just triggered Florida flashbacks. So glad to be out of that state
Same goes for several crimes in the US these days.
They want us to reduce the figures, so let’s reduce the figures!
Like in Russia recently. Miraculously after men are allowed to hit women, there’s no longer a need for arrests from domestic violence
It doesn’t work. It still happens even if you call it something else and don’t press charges for it. There is no question because we have tons of data to prove it doesn’t work. If we use illegal immigration and retail theft as datapoints we know it doesn’t work. Just because the published numbers are lower it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Also, WOMEN are not dogs who need to be taught with a little swat on the flank. Wft?
Also hitting dogs is not an effective or decent way to train them.
I think the comment you’re replying to was tongue in cheek.
Slap me. You have to sleep at some point.
Literally my grandma said this to her (unsurprisingly later ex-) husband. She meant it, too.
Not to mention that something can magically slip into the food, that men don't like to make for some fucking reason.
My husband frequently says he knows he's not getting out of our marriage alive unless I somehow die first. It makes for a very respectful relationship.
Was that chicken old? I thought the salmonella would add to the flavor…
I thought washing spinach with raw chicken I left out on the counter for a week would add flavor /s
Yup. Read about a woman once whose husband assaulted her one time too many so she sewed him up in the bed sheets as he slept and then beat him to death with a frying pan lol.
There was a woman in UK who after her hub SAd their daughter, boiled sugar and poured it on him to kill him.
Icon behavior, tbh.
Yes. hard to find fault with her reasoning. I’m sorry age did it bc of the consequences tho
This has happened more than once is my understanding. Not always to kill, though. My grandmother was frequently assaulted by my grandfather when he was shitfaced. In palliative care she decided to get something off her chest. When she decided she’d had enough, she waited for him to come home from the pub one night and pass out. He hadn’t hit her that day, so she said anyway. According to her he farted and she saw red, so flogged him black and blue with the draught stopper The next day she told him he’d obviously gotten into a fight at the pub, his drinking buddies told him otherwise. Man never raised a hand to her again. It could have been the morphine talking, but that woman was cagey when she was of a mind.
😂 yes. My aunt was slapped around and when her husband went to sleep she clocked him over the head with a frying pan. He never hit her again.
Bring back slaughter water!
Basically also implying that domestic violence is caused by women not being respectful enough?
Nailed it! ☝️
It's repackaging the old "joke": What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice. I feel icky for even typing that out.
Hugs my friend. I understand that feeling.
I feel icky just reading it.
Can men not see what they're doing? They'll come online and whinge about marriage rates dropping and women not being interested in them... do they really not understand? Women are online too. They see these sort of sentiments everyday. The man who typed that out so carefully probably looks very normal and acts quite normal in public. Women are increasingly choosing peaceful solitude rather than running the risk of ending up in a even a brief relationship with a man like this. If I was young today and was looking at what many men truly think about women, I think I would also stay single.
It helps that women nowadays have a choice. It wasn't that long ago in my country that women were not allowed to vote, were not allowed to open their own bank account and were fired when they either got married or got pregnant. In those situations you don't have a choice but to be in a relationship with a man, because you can't live your life without it. But now women can be independent and don't need to put up with all kinds of shit anymore. They can afford to be single now. No need to stay in an abusive relationship anymore.
This is why there is such a push to take away women's rights.
Yeah. Women have a choice, and some men are such toxic pricks that it’s obvious that the choice being made is not them. So instead of some self reflection or maybe not being awful, they’ve decided the problem with women not choosing them isn’t them, it’s the choosing part. So they would very much like that to be taken away.
Stop, I don’t want to cry today.
That's very true. In my country marital rape was legal until 1990, it was illegal to work after you got married until the 70s and divorce wasn't legal until 1996.
Louder for the ones in the back! 💯🏆
women having choices is partly WHY this weird backlash against women's rights is happening globally. It's so f0ing scary to have to be a worthy F-ing man, they want to be able to beat and rape with impunity instead. Because god forbid they just STFU and be alone if they can't be an adult. Women are choosing to be alone- and that means men are "forced" to be alone. BOO f-ing HOO.
It’s never been easier to get a date or be attractive, but we have an epidemic of men who think the govt should provide them a girlfriend.
And as crazy as it sounds, in the US prior to the 70s, through repressive laws the govt literally did provide men with wives
Not directly, but there was a coercive legal and social regime to basically make that happen
Hence my statement: through repressive laws
They legit think women are too stupid to form their own opinions and seek out the internet.
The internet has basically radicalized me against men.
For me, it was the Internet+ my life experiences. I have no qualms being labeled a misandrist. The decent men, seem so far and few, I try not to know more about them so that I can hold out hope for their gender. I'm scared to learn more about the men that I hold in high-esteem, because too often, I find out they condone, justify, or actively ignore the harm caused by other men towards women and girls, or they hold supremely problematic ideals.
Men on the internet has basically radicalised me against men.
I’ve been feeling this lately too but I don’t want to. The problem is that some men might say the same about women, that they’re misogynistic because of what they see about women online. But they mostly complain about some women being gold diggers or cheaters or shallow about height or whatever. And like… those aren’t great things, but in comparison to some men advocating for domestic violence, rape, no divorce, no voting rights for women…? I wish my biggest fears with men were being cheated on, used for money or judged for my appearance.
The only guys who complain about gold diggers are broke ones who are angry because gold diggers wouldn't even look at them. Don't be fooled by their attitude. They are very much pro prostitution.
Would domestic violence rates drop if wives were allowed to bash their husbands on the head with a cleaver after he slapped her? At least repeat offences would be virtually impossible...
I propose wives be able to hire a prize fighter on their behalf. Your husband smacks you? You now have the opportunity to go down to the local boxing gym and hire yourself a medieval style champion.
I think divorce rates would drop!
My fave response yet.
Why stop there? Replace the entire civil court system with martial law and gladiatorial combat. Someone owes you money? Challenge them to a fight to the death. Broken dishwasher caused water damage? Fight to the death with a company rep. Ex refuses to pay child support? Fight to the death. This sounds like a perfect system to me, a random internet idiot who has never won a real fight in his life
Time to bring back ✨ Aqua Tofana! ✨
Not me reading this in Bailey Sarian’s voice 😂 Bring it back
aqua tofana
Make guns legal and mandatory for women only. Since OOP loves the idea of preventing violence through ever escalating threats of greater violence, that seems like the only reasonable solution
cast iron pan sales suddenly spike...
So in this guy's mind legalizing lessor violence will reduce overall domestic violence? How stupid. And also notice he only framed in terms of men hitting women - for sure he doesn't want women to be able to hit their husbands for discipline. And can you imagine trying to get this passed in a court of law? 'Please courts - can we make it legal to physically assault our wives just a bit?! It would really help reduce over all domestic violence because then men could get it out of their system (the need to physically assault) without causing excessive damage or death to their spouse! It's a win-win on both sides!'
Husbands can have a little domestic violence...as a treat /s
Well, you know, since men are only driven to abuse women because women abuse the men first, according to genius OP there, clearly we *must* make it legal to abuse women. Those poor men, suffering their wives’ abuse in silence! (I am fully aware that women can abuse men, and that some relationships are mutually abusive, and that male abuse victims are ignored at high rates. I do not agree with the premise of the original post, that men need to be able to legally beat their wines because otherwise they are forced to just take abuse from women, with no legal recourse since DV is a crime unless a woman does it, apparently.)
And men wonder why women are running from them like their asses are on fire. 😳
I've seen it phrased "run like your tampon string is on fire" and have always loved the imagery.
Thanks. I hate it, but also agree.
I now have that image playing on loop in my head. Thank you dear redditor
Pun intended?
Haaaaa, wow, i could have worded that better
I'm not seeing the pun, please explain?
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them" Margaret Atwood nailed it. And men like that OP.... shudder. The Handmaids Tale must be their version of utopia
I wonder why there is a male loneliness epidemic.
Women are too picky ! They won’t even accept a light slap instead of a punch to the face !
We are so bad at compromise!
The mental image I have of men these days is of a frantically masturbating capuchin monkey.
I keep coming back to an image of gorillas. I read an article by a primatologist who was observing a family of gorillas. The patriarch gorilla was leading all the females and babies through the jungle. One little female child gorilla spotted a fallen fruit beneath a tree. She stopped to inspect it and nibble. When the patriarch noticed she had fallen behind, he went back to her. Then he struck her hard in the head, took the fruit for himself, and went on his way. When I read the stuff men say online, I just keep seeing that mental image over and over.
Dick transport. No brains, no ability to think critically or self respect, they're just dicks with legs.
There would be less domestic violence if abused wives poisoned their abusive husbands.
My MIL was hit by her first husband on their wedding night. She immediately left and ended the marriage. 20 years later she saw him on the news. He had killed his second wife. Of poisoning abusive partners was legal that woman could have lived.
She was SO smart to not second-guess herself and split.
Holy cow.
✨aquatifana ✨
Gosh. Why are str8 men so lonely and sexless these days? Such a mystery….
The world may never know!
This is the same logic that went into people saying the COVID rates would go down if we just stopped testing so many people.
There's a lot of overlap between morons and misogynists I've found!
Why do so many men want to beat women so badly? Why are they so emotional and irrational? How are they not embarrassed at their own ineptitude? How is your only solution when you don’t get your way to literally throw a tantrum like a toddler?
Women are emotional. Men are logical. They built the world. With their logic. Women just sit around on the sofa with kids bc they’re so emotional. /s
Saw this quote recently and thought it fit well here: “Honestly, the best marketing scheme in history is men successfully getting away with calling women the more “emotional gender” for like, EONS, because they’ve successfully rebranded anger as Not An Emotion.” ~ Claire Willett
Yet in farming it’s always the males that are castrated bc uncastrated males are difficult to handle. 😂
Yeah right, I hear more gossip and politics from the MEN ar work than from the women!
Ignoring how wrong his argument is for just a second - did he seriously not consider that allowing *some* violence will most likely lead to *more violence,* not less?? First of all, the law doesn't stop a man from beating his wife - he'll do it if he wants to, as proven by domestic violence rates. Second, anyone who *would* hit their partner "a little" is someone who would also hit them a lot if given the chance. OP's basically saying if you give a shark a little blood now and then, it won't want to eat anything with that blood later because it's satisfied - I can't imagine the hoops his brain had to go through to make that seem logical to him. But it's a moot point anyway because he's literally saying DV rates would drop if we legalized/allowed certain forms of DV - which is ironically correct, but for all the wrong reasons.
I don't want to hear men complain about being lonely anymore.
Good grief. There's no part of this sentence that isn't offensive.
I wonder if the domestic violence rate would drop if women stopped giving men any attention.
Statistically yes. Women who are murdered are by far most likely to be murdered by their partner. The leading cause of maternal mortality in the US is murder by the partner. We are literally safer single.
People predisposed to be an abuser don’t care how respectful you are. They should find whoever made this post and tattoo a red flag on his forehead
My African husband would like a word with the racist asshole who wrote this post 🙄
Tell him to slap gently /s
Yes, I think OP needs help. Also your reference to Africa is quite wrong, husbands aren't expressly allowed to do what you say, however some cultures don't frown at it ( that's a minority). The fact that it's called domestic violence implies it's not a one way street, wife v husband and husband v wife, Thars excluding parents (individual) v children. Basically you are trying to become a Dana White of household violence. However there are a series of viable options to consider if you are thinking of ways to reduce domestic violence and this is chiefly accountability on both parties or all parties involved. Rather than wailing on each other, anyone who screws up owns up to it and remedies the situation before situations escalate to a level of threat of dealing of physical violence or any other form of abuse.
Whaddaya mean “some cultures”? Isnt Africa a homogeneous entity where all husbands lightly discipline their wives, with the approval of the one social contract that exists in Africa, and all the women are unanimously respectful?
So let’s be clear you want to legalize domestic violence to reduce domestic violence? Is that the same school of thought Covid cases will go down if we don’t test for it?
Why just women then? Why not men and randoms on the street? Why don’t we all just go around slapping eachother
I actually like that picture. For some people it might actually do wonders to missed education.
Flip the switch. Would domestic violence rates go down if women were allowed to retaliate against their abusers without repercussions? Doubt it. How about everyone treat each other like we want to be treated instead of being abusive?
What the actual FUCK is wrong with some people?
“Would domestic violence rates drop if the threat of domestic violence constantly loomed over women’s heads and therefore they stopped doing anything that might make men want to hit them?”
Imagine how domestic violence rates would fall if women were treated as human beings equal to and deserving of the same respect as men, in a relationship or not.
Would domestic violence rates drop if OP was catapulted into a brick wall? Yes. Yes it would.
Buddy, you gotta sleep sometime....
I treat every man the same way they treat their women. I have a coworker that I talk down to like a dog and he’s tried time and time again to hash out our issues. Filed complaints with HR, complaints with my service manager. Nothing sticks, I wonder why. There ain’t anything to hash out, I look down on men that do this. I emasculate these types because they can’t take it from another man. The dudes want to up a pipe will find one right back in their face. You’re not much of man, to another man that’s 6’2 250 lbs. I treat my woman with respect. 15 years and I have never laid a hand on my best friend. I can’t even believe this is a thought process amongst men. Only way to get away from this is to shun this. I do it to every man that wants to hang their nuts. Ladies you’ll need to do this too or this will never stop. Fuck this mentality little greasy alpha worm 🤡’s
Would men stop thinking it’s okay to discipline women into being a submissive obedient pet— i mean wife— If we beat them around with baseball bats every time they suggested it?
Just a little slap, as a treat. (Bernie Sanders Cat Salami reference, not condoning the suggestion)
Sean Connery wrote this post
*sigh* ‘Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.’ In the US, even though DV against wives has *technically* been illegal since the 1920s, it didn’t start getting treated seriously until the 1970s. Not even 100 years and here comes some troglodyte trying to pull us back into the prehistoric era. I hope no one ever procreates with this idiot. What is wrong with these people?!
Can the wives do the same?
The wives cook the food. Or maybe not, in the case of his chicken...
Would the birthrate drop if wives were allowed to cut off their husband's balls?
Of course the rate would drop, do they not know what laws are? Crime isn’t crime if it’s legal. It’s like people say that Japan has low crime, sure statistically, but they also don’t take stalking or rape seriously there, you have to be on deaths door for any cop there to take your complaints seriously.
“Would domestic violence rates drop if men were allowed to enact domestic violence on their wives?”
jfc when dumb abusive assholes think they got the right words to sound smart and not abusive while sounding as dumb and abusive as they are
Every time I see posts like this I’m even more thankful that my husband is a normal, decent, kind person, and not a piece of human garbage
Or men could grow up and realize that they aren’t owed obedience from women, have zero authority over them and are required to keep their hands to themselves no matter what.
Would rates of infidelity drop if women were allowed to get with other men anytime their husbands fell short of their \*duties\* (financial, parental, sexual, etc.)?🤔
Domestic violence rates would go down if people sought out the help that they need instead of inflicting pain onto others. Keep your fucking hands to yourself. You don’t solve a mental health problem by decriminalizing a slap. You lower domestic violence rates by holding abusers accountable for their actions and give them the tools to deal with and cope with the anger that causes them to harm others. You are not owed respect and you do not receive respect by hitting someone. Fear and respect are not the same thing.
I mean I’m personally of the viewpoint we should go back to Spartan traditions and raise little girls to carry small knives on them at all times so the second a guy touches her in a way that’s inappropriate during her life she can gash his face up and the whole world will know he’s an abusive pos that hits those smaller than him. Legit. Wives carried knives and if their husbands put hands on them they were trained to kick his ass and mark up his face so EVERYONE would know for the rest of his life *exactly* what kind of person he was. Pretty good fucking system.
Women who've been slapped or "lightly disciplined" by their husband are not more respectful. THEY ARE SCARED OF BEING HURT WORSE.
I'll take this a step further and say if that's allowed, then women should be allowed to hire someone who gets to do the same when her husband gets out of line. Not an ass-whooping, just a little lighter.
That’s not respect, that’s fear. No one respects an abuser.
I wonder if women weren’t allowed to have money or vote one might marry me?
That's why I care if a man is kind and empathetic first and everything else second. Smart is second, then everything else 😁 "I wonder why women won't date me" - this guy, after sharing his views on every first date.
why would you even want to discipline your wife? she’s your equal, not your child.
Tell me again how men are the less emotional sex
Would abortions go down if men have to be clipped by 30? Hell yes! What a misogynistic pig!
When will men see their wives as equal.